Salf 2021/10/01(Fri)22:37 No. 1012186 ID: faa7df
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WHAM

>Ough aye theres ladie.. Whys Youse gone an tossed a stick at me edd then? Say, what is you then? A Fish ladie? Ora’ Lizard?


Ah! Ok, uh. Geoffrey sh-should be here soon, uh... Guy?

>>1012186
"hey I just saw a mud pile and was goofing around, no need for the power display"

that right there is an imminent sexual assault pose if I ever done seen one.

>>1012186
1, you were dared to do it by your friends.
2, you don't know what you are, you're adopted.

"Throwing sticks at each other is how my people flirt. Running away afterward and being chased is also part of it, like squirrels do. Congratulations, you caught me, so now I have to give you some bread, and then we, um..."

If he accepts the stale bread, hit him with one of those pepper bombs while he's distracted trying to eat it.

Yes. I was being a responsible camper and returning my extra firewood to a proper trash receptacle.

Try to delay him with your charms. Doing so could never backfire, right?

Apologize to him and tell him that you were practicing a mating ritual, which requires throwing sticks and his mud pile just looked really alluring for some reason, maybe because he's so handsome himself, but you really shouldn't be saying this because someone like him should definitely already have a wife and you wouldn't want to impose... , etc.
As far as your species go, tell him that, uhh, you're a distant relative of trolls, as he can see, you both walk on two legs, wow, he has such wide shoulders~

Salf 2021/10/05(Tue)22:22 No. 1012502 ID: faa7df
File 163349774586.png - (325.44KB , 1169x751 , 23- Consumption Avoidence.png )

>>1012187
Hey that’s better than a killing-and-eating pose, right?

>Wuh, actually I’m probably more of a lizard than a fish, b-but I don’t kno-

>Shame that. Fish is good eating. Might have ta find another use for youse then.

Oh no! I’d better come up with another use for me other than eating! Purely out of rational self-preservation!

>S-sorry about the tossing- I was, I thought you were some mud and-

>An youse just ‘add a suspiciously forked stick, wot is similar in style to a dowsin’ rod ta hand fuh tossin? I thinks youse were out looking for Trolls to bother like all the other little folk.

>>1012209
But I don't want him to beat me to death.

>>1012188
>Muh-my friends actually
>There’s mora you is there? Not hiding in moar bushes like youse were are they? Not tryin’ to run for em ta get help were youse?

>>1012193
>>1012193
>No I, it’s just me and I was flirting with a ritual, to see if your wife was a squirrel- so I ran and now my bread is stale, if, if-

>You wot lady? Nah that’s not making sense. Gotta calm down youse is just saying words. What this about wife’in and flirting then? That’s not something a Troll hears often, is it?

Gosh well, I’d better keep him on this track since it’s not about eating me!

>>1012502
"Please don't eat me mister troll I'll do anything you want" is that about right?

So, your continued existence relies on you keeping this entity pleased with things that you can only effectively offer while both alive and unmaimed.

In that case, how about:

"I think you're cute."

Tell him that you want to marry him and that you'd make a good wife. Also, compliment his long tongue.

Guys, I don't think openly consenting is really Ring's thing.

Ask them why wouldn't a troll be hearing about wives and flirting? Surely there's them what fancy strong lanky arms, long snoots and tongues and whatnot.

Say you're sorry, but you've never actually met a troll before. You'd no idea they were so, uh. Muscular.

Does he work out?

Deep breaths Rim. Introduce yourself, maybe ask him his name. He seems open to dialog, so see if you can talk your way out of this.

Yeah, it isn't, and you're just eating it up aren't you? Doesn't it make you hungry for companionship? When's the last time you had a morsel like this to hand, hm? Don't eat me, by the way. Please think about stuff that is not eating.

>>1012523
>>1012651

Gawd, you two are horrible, you know that? Maybe even PRETEND to try to get Ring out of this alive, yea?

Salf 2021/10/16(Sat)01:41 No. 1012974 ID: faa7df
File 163437366438.png - (334.05KB , 1169x751 , 24- Continued Consumption Avoidence.png )

>>1012529
>Haven’t heard often? W-why not? I-I’d have thought at least a tall, muscular p-Troll such as yourself would have heard some flirting in your time. Maybe a Niddle lady complimenting your powerful snout? - I mean I hadn’t met a Troll until just now with you so, I certainly had no idea you’d be so, uh, Muscular. Unless you, w-work out a lot, I guess.

>Youse a pretty tounged thing ain’t you Bluey? All whiles and complimentings like youse want me all relaxed. S’pose I am a biggun though. Since youse asked my muscle comes more natural like. Wot else is good looking about me then?

It’s working, he’s not thinking about eating me at all! This was of course the outcome we wanted! I am also not complimenting his tongue. That’s an eating part of the mouth.

>>1012516
But I don’t want to bring up eating, not getting eaten is the prime directive here.

>>1012651
TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

>>1012518
>I think you’-ve got an, appealing face. For one.

>Youse thinkin’ I looks like a lizard do I?

>Nono, more like a Niddle, but Rostro also have big beaks so it’s more like you’re folk. Or folk adjacent.

>Adjacent now? Ain't never been told I was Adjacent before. Sounds nice like I feel. Adjacent.


Uhh, I think I’ve successfully made him more interested in talking than anything else for now. He seems to like compliments! I‘m guessing Trolls don’t get nice things said about them much and I think me being a new species gave him pause.

>>1012523
I can’t just say I want to marry him! He’d take me back to the Troll den and keep me there. I need to stall in some other way.

>>1012558
Yeah, he’s talking. I need to try and calm down more before I talk but he just chased and caught me and now he’s towering over me and I did not expect him to be this huge.
>Well maybe we should introduce ourselves Mr Troll. If we’re going to keep having this nice polite conversation. I’m RimRing, and uh, what’s your name if I may ask?

>Rimring is it? Sounds like me mam. Name’s Threese. Now youse can answers my last question all polite like, as we is talking polite now.

>Wot else is good looking about me then?
Tell him he has a cute tail. Maybe you could touch it?

Ask if he likes anything about you.

Tell Threese that you actually do have a friend back there who you were in fact going to get - and make sure to praise his cleverness in figuring that out - but only the one friend, who's certainly not hiding in any bushes. This particular friend has actually been far more interested in polite conversation, and less willing to assault strangers, than you are, for as long as you've known them.

All technically true, but mostly quite misleading.

Wait, are you implying I look like a lizard? Because that's what you think I'd like, if I was? Maybe I'm complimenting your troll-like looks, because I like how trolls look. Food for thought.

Oh, maybe you can ask what the other trolls are like?

>>1012974
Tell him that you like what you see of him, but you've never seen a troll up close before, and you'd need to get a closer look at him so that you can find even more to compliment. That'll give you plenty of time to stall, to look around the room a little, and to learn more about troll anatomy so you know any weak points or other advantages you might have.

Look, seeing as he's amenable to talking and you still have backup... somewhere nearby, why not just try to calm down and be honest: the local village thinks he's been attacking them when it really just seems like they wander onto his little patch of forest and he scares them off.

I dunno, tout the value of co-existence. Companionship is a wonderful thing. Tell him how there'd be plenty for a big strong troll like himself to do if he was friendly with the townsfolk.

Oh derp, we've been just trying to buy time so far but why not try something more direct?

Ask him to let you go. Maybe there's something you can do in return?

>I can’t just say I want to marry him! He’d take me back to the Troll den and keep me there. I need to stall in some other way.
Aren't marriages wholesome tho? Besides, you need to get back the stuff he stole, so that doesn't sound like a bad plan to find out where the stuff is.

Anyway, ask Threese what's he doing in this part of the forest. Does he live here? And why isn't he with other trolls? Uhh, what was the last question he wanted answered?

Salf 2021/11/02(Tue)22:26 No. 1014132 ID: 0ec666
File 163591716190.png - (336.67KB , 1169x751 , 25- Concluding Continued Continued Consumption Avo.png )

>>1013965
Marrying someone because you’re scared they might eat you isn’t wholesome. I mean it’d get me into the Troll den, but considering how this is going one of the other Trolls might eat me when he’s asleep.

>So what’re you up to here around here? I mean- what are you up to in this part of the forest? Do you live here? Plus, Uhh, what was that last question you wanted answered?

>It’s our territory Rimring. Me and lads stomp around here ‘cause it’s ours. Thought you little folk’d learned that by now. Me last question were about how you were on about wifves an flirting. Iffin’ there were sumthing youse wanted to confess...

>>1012984
>Well if I’m confessing... I was trying to get back to my friend in the bushes. You figured it out right away but, you... made me panic. I-I mean they’d be happy to chat with you, now we’re being polite and such.

>I suppose I we do make youse smalls scared easy. Being so big an’ all. Your friend another one of you then? A Bluey?

>No I’m the, only one of me I know.

>>1012978
>Hey, it seems unfair that I’ve had to come up with all the compliments so far. What do you like about me?

>Youse... got some colour on yah. Arms are big, an’ you're not covering yah whole body with clothes like youse scared of the sun.

>Colour? Do I look like a Troll?

>Seem sum Trolls bit more your shade. Could guess there’s a little bit of Troll in youse sumwhere...

>>1012976
>Your tail is nice... Um...

>>1013485
>Um, Threese. I sort of came because you keep scaring off the people like me who visit here.

>Oh?

>I mean, we don't have to be opposing each other at all. There’s a lot of people in the Village that would be happy to have you around, y’know. A big strong man like yourself might... find a lot of opportunities if they were... more approachable to the townsfolk.

Salf 2021/11/02(Tue)22:26 No. 1014133 ID: 0ec666
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>...

Salf 2021/11/02(Tue)22:27 No. 1014134 ID: 0ec666
File 163591724167.png - (300.94KB , 1169x751 , 28- Pwhehe NRG.png )

>Pwhe hoho

>Oooooooh

>Wanted in town am I? I didn’t think all the wimins were visiting just to peak at me muscles.

Salf 2021/11/02(Tue)22:30 No. 1014136 ID: 0ec666
File 163591740889.png - (325.13KB , 1169x751 , 27- Bluey rejection.png )

>Youse pretty Bluey, but I’m gon’ havva look at me opportunities in town first.

>Maybe youse get yah turn later yeah.

Salf 2021/11/02(Tue)22:30 No. 1014137 ID: 0ec666
File 163591745902.png - (337.52KB , 1169x751 , 29- Chad stride.png )

>Pwhehe hohoho

>Wimins please, there’s so many of youse and onna Threese.

Salf 2021/11/02(Tue)22:32 No. 1014139 ID: 0ec666
File 163591753532.png - (281.09KB , 1169x751 , 31- Troll Defeated I guess.png )

>YOU SEEMED TO BE SPEAKING. I DID NOT KNOW IF I WAS TO INTERRUPT.

Ok hilarity aside, I feel like unleashing a flirtatious troll on the town is the kinda thing that ends in strong worda and pitchforks. We should uh. Maybe try to pre-empt his arrival with a bit of warning he means no harm.

Well, there's still the other two trolls... not sure if they'll react the same way. Guess we should go about looking for them. Retrieve the dowsing rod, and... actually use it this time. I don't know how to use one of those things, do you?

Catch up to him and try to talk him out of walking into town unannounced, maybe also explain that you were actually talking about employment(or don’t, your call). If that fails then have Geoffrey convince him.

We should establish a safeword with Geoffrey to be used in conversations so the other knows to intervene.

Well, you haven't been eaten, so that went passably!

...

Sorta. Kinda. Ouch. Condolences on getting rejected by a troll! Mind you, it can't be that big of a loss (okay, well, he IS big, but you know what I mean). He just plum doesn't look like he'd be good for you! Not much give in a relationship like that, when they think they're the gods' gift to the opposite gender.

>>1014146
>Safeword(s)
Silverspun eggbeater (e.g. 'Did you know my most prized possession is a SILVERSPUN EGGBEATER') - which means you want him to come to your rescue.

Anyway, explain you kiiind of wanted him to come out and stomp the other guy, or scare him or something. Like... rather than risk getting eaten, just now. Not that things didn't go... okay-ish? You're probably in even more trouble with the town for sending the guy over, but for now maybe you can go talk to his buddies and convince them to move. Sounds like they're part of a gang, so if his buddies disappear, he'd go with them, yeah?

>>1014134
Also, man that fellow can lank. He's the lankiest lanker I've ever seen.

Okay, now we just need to do that same thing two more times, and then have Geoffrey teach the trolls about good consent practices.

I uh... I didn't think that was going to work that well, and now he's going to go back to town and make a mess. Uh.. maybe you should chase him down so he doesn't start a kerfluffle in town and mention you by name?

I hate to say it, but you seem to have a knack for wrangling less civilized folks. Maybe you could... uh... coach him on polite society and how not to get run out of town by a pitchfork wielding mob.

you know actually a thought occurs, yeah he'll rile up the townsfolk but it's pretty low odds they'll talk to him long enough for him to drop that we're responsible for him, likelier than not we can just say he ran off when we started dealing with the other trolls.

After all, people know what trolls are like.

Salf 2021/11/25(Thu)19:47 No. 1016170 ID: 804611
File 163789845417.png - (427.94KB , 1169x751 , 32- Reduce trolling.png )

>>1014141
Dowsing rods point towards water. You wiggle them and magically you find water. But I’m not a wizard so I imagine it won’t work. Plus how would it help if it did? I doubt they’re all going to be in a bath together.

>>1014150
I was not rejected by a Troll, he just thinks that there’s a line of women waiting to hang off his arms and wants to bask in it. This is, just so we’re clear, completely different from rejection. Frankly that’s normal behaviour and needn’t be commented on.
Really we should be focussing on this as a success, seeing as how no one was hurt and I wasn’t eaten. This is the criteria we should focus on.
I’ve told Geoffrey about the Safeword. Sensible suggestion.

>>1014140
>>1014172
>>1014146
Yeah I don’t think he’ll start a fight but I think he could cause one with his thickheadedness. I’ll give him some pointers and uh, try and direct him to someone like Swing and away from someone like Butterloft.

>Ah, um, Threese, could you hold on a moment before-

Salf 2021/11/25(Thu)19:48 No. 1016171 ID: 804611
File 163789850569.gif - (122.00KB , 500x321 , 33- Second Place [giffo].gif )

>Phwee hoohoo!

>Youse really want a piece of Threese, don’t youse Bluely.

>Tell you wot, when I’m done looking around I’ll make sure you get a turn

>Pwhe hohoo!

Salf 2021/11/25(Thu)20:13 No. 1016174 ID: 804611
File 163790002513.png - (337.68KB , 1169x751 , 34- Salt rod.png )

I got the rod back. It’s pointing to some water right next to where it was. Like I couldn’t see it.

>>1014152
Right two more Trolls huh? Easy, whatever. Tell Geoffrey to teach them politeness or something.
Told him about the safeword thing. Eggbeaters.

>>1014174
Yeah they’ll deal with him. He’s just gunna be dumb or something and make everyone think he’s
dumb. Whole town’ll beat him up if he just walks into the centre on his own anyway.

>>1014151
Seen lankier, not a big deal. Could lank like that if I wanted.

So are we wandering around again or what? There was that broken cart or something I guess. Could look at it.

Let's go look at the broken cart.
Also, uh, do you want to tell Geoffrey that he's not to rush in and defend you if you get sexually assaulted? Because I feel like he'd interrupt that on his own, even if you don't say the safeword.

Plot revenge.
Alternatively you can continue the mission and speak to the other trolls, let’s not antagonise them on first site this time and definitely don’t mention people in town being potentially interested in them.

>>1016175
What? Of course she'd want Geoffrey to come intervene if that were happening! She wouldn't want to be all alone in such a situation with a threatening person right there in front of her; she'd want to have Geoffrey right there behind her as well.

Examine the cart. Might be something useful you can take

Ring, we can't do this anymore. You can't keep telling yourself lies so it's ok to put yourself in more danger. Geoffery could've been a ravenous beast, that troll could've just killed you just now, or god forbid have done exactly what you are secretly hoping for and permanently messed up your ability to walk straight.

Your therapist was right, you are engaging in risky behavior just hoping to get some attention. All you ever had to do was go ask the cute fox guy back in town out. Stop this before you get eaten.

>>1016605
I'm just going to hit the mute button on this thing the moment this guy starts speaking so that none of this gets out while ring is ALREADY in a frustrated state of mind and not at all open to a hackneyed intervention speech, thx

You can lie to the voices in your head but you can't lie to yourself Ring!