Jashbireth 2012/12/07(Fri)13:02 No. 477019 ID: 75ebf5
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It’s been two weeks since your last adventure.

You had set out to seduce a bear; you didn’t manage it, but you did almost burn down the wolf manor. You also blackmailed a cat! And while the bear wasn’t into you, she thought you were amusing!

Actually, you’ve become good friends with the cat and the bear. You’ve been avoiding the settlements recently and have just been alternating time with your new pals.

Who are you hanging out with today?

A: Hanshah the cat. She has a secret cult of mice that worship her! She likes to pretend she’s aloof and manipulative, but she’s really just a straightforward friend.
B: Majorie the bear. You failed to seduce her, but she thinks you’re amusing, and she lets you tell exaggerated stories of your adventures for hours and hours!

Let's go mess with the cat. That sounds fun.

B

>>477019
A. Maybe the cat will be straightforward in fucking you?

Go with A!~

Bother the cat.

Bear. We will continue to push our luck.

bother cat. we need a plan to seduce the bear. a better one than last time.

B.

Jashbireth 2012/12/07(Fri)14:34 No. 477049 ID: 75ebf5
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A, Hanshah

You’ve spent the lazy afternoon with Hanshah the cat, at her secret mouse commune inside the edge of the forest. You’ve been licking at honey-candies she’s stolen from Bumblebee Lane and taking naps in the warm sun.

But there’s really only so long you can tolerate lazying around. You aren’t a cat.

“Hey, Hanshah.”

“Mrrm?”

“I’m so bored I’m going to vomit.”

“Over there, please.”

No, no it’s time for a proper adventure all up ins.

“No, I’m really bored of sitting around. I want to do something heroic, something adventuresome.

“Like what?”

Huh. What are you going to do? You’re already standing up and you realize you don’t even know what direction you want to go in!

“Okay. I guess we need to plan an adventure first.”

“Is it still an adventure if you have to plan it?”

You, your weasel Pocket, and your mice team gather up and start brainstorming ideas for hijinks. Hanshah actually has a lot of plots going on in her brain too. After talking it over, each of you come up with a scheme.

But it’s up to you which one you want to do.

“A: Steal something from that cute wolf papernose, then offer to find the thief that stole it! Make up your own heroism!”
“B: Pretend to be a monster haunting Bumblebee Lane, then offer to defeat the “monster!”
“C: Stir up trouble between Tangled-Ivy Manor and Bumblebee Lane!”

What, no idea from the mouse team?

Honestly, all of those seem like bad ideas. The papernose or racoon may have asked around and discovered that you weren't really there on official business, and stealing things from there will be hard without a huge distraction; you'll be hard pressed to find evidence of being a monster, and if they bring in anyone who can identify by scent, they'll know it was you; and there's nothing to gain by stirring up trouble.

Unrelatedly, I see there was an iron hook mounted in that stone block you were resting on earlier. Any idea who was responsible for that?

C! Elaborate plotting is the best plotting

oh man C

we can pin the fire on someone from the Lane

>>477049
A, for more chances to seduce the wolf

A for wolf fuckings pls

>>477056
Yes. You get to be the thief, the hero, and then get laid. With lying, cleverness, and charm. Clearly the path of the best bandit.

I guess A, although all these plans need some more work.

A. go tap that wolf pussy in the process yo.

A. because chicks with low self-esteem will put out the most and we know it. We're classy like that.

>>477049
ALL THREE.
Blame the theft from tangled-ivy manor on the monster of bumblebee lane, while using monster-pranks to get the two settlements annoyed but not violent towards one another. Then solve all their problems and be a double-hero.

C AND A AND B ALL AT ONCE

Jashbireth 2012/12/07(Fri)17:12 No. 477075 ID: 75ebf5
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A; steal from the wolf girl, so you can “find” it for her and be her hero!

“Well, these are all great plans, but I think we’ll go with mine. Not only does it get us in good with the wolves some more, it gets me in good with that cute, shy papernose.”

“Also the cat’s plan is just the same thing she’s already doing with the mice here. It’s the only plan she has!”

“Then it’s proof the plan already works.”

“No, no, we’re going to steal something from Pallia, and then go to her and pretend that we’ll catch the culprit ourselves. This is a great plan.”

It is. There’s no way this could, at all, be a poor plan. You would never even think a disparaging thought in its direction!

“Well! I’m not entirely up to stealing from the nose of a wolf, so if you don’t mind I’ll just be taking a nap here, in the meanwhile, if that’s all right with you.”

“I’ll yowl at you if I need you for something!”

Jashbireth 2012/12/07(Fri)17:13 No. 477076 ID: 75ebf5
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It’s time to actually figure out how you’re going to do this, though!

>I

-Wolf-pup Training Saddle
-1 Eye-irritant Bomb
-2 Springwork Guns
-5 Mice
-1 Stoat

A: You’re already ready! Get over to Tangled-Ivy Manor and get to stealing!
B: Your supplies feel a bit… anemic. Go to Bumblebee Lane and see if you can get yourself some more stuff, and maybe a disguise?
C: Hunt down that crow and coerce/trick/bribe him into stealing something for you!

no way man, that crow is a dick. go to the Lane for supplies.

I think we're going to need supplies if we're going to fool the wolf nose. We're also going to need a deserving patsy to pin the crime on!

They're probably going to smell you at the scene of the crime and nobody else on the stolen item and instantly tell you're the thief.
Either get something to conceal your scent or get the crow to steal it.

C is for Caw!

B

C Because it's the third thing you thought of!

B because that crow was a jerk. And apparently he's 'Unfriendly' even though all we did was make him actually follow through with his own stupid deal.

>>477076
C. Without the crow's help it'll be painfully obvious that you took it.

Jashbireth 2012/12/07(Fri)18:20 No. 477087 ID: 75ebf5
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B, hit up Bumblebee Lane for supplies!

Just going up there is dumb! The wolves will smell fox and then when you show up again and offer your services as a hero they’ll know it was you for sure!

“Let’s traipse on to Bumblebee Lane and see what we can do about a disguise.”

The walk to Bumblebee Lane is short, across a little meadow. You pass through the ferrets’ beehives and chicken-fields up to the lane itself. It’s still the same as it was; two long, tall hills, hollowed out with ferret-sized rooms! The bigger hill in the back is also hollow, and sized for all sorts of animals. It’s the hot-spot for the World of Grass. You decide to check it out first, if nothing else to see what’s actually in there!

The entrance into the hill is a tunnel leading down at an angle. The wall is framed with wood, and it goes a short distance before leading into a broad dome of a chamber.

The room is lit with little spit-lanterns. It’s a soft, dim light, just enough for your normal night-vision to see everything clearly. And oh the smells! It smells so earthy, and also so woody, musty and damp. You can smell the traces of so so so many animals! So many creatures have been down here before.

There’s a vixen here! She seems to be some kind of trader or something? She has a saddle but it’s full of textiles and stuff, and she’s wearing some of it too. She has a few mice in attendance. She looks super regal, spread out with all her blankets and sacks and stuff!

One side of the room has a different scale to it. The floor is raised and things are more made to fit ferret-sizes, more nestly. There are a few ferrets there, and a stoat, too. The weasel has this weird carry-sack on its back, and it looks like its teaching the ferrets how to do something with… plants? You sniff in the direction and taste the unmistakable smell of grass-bombs!

A: Vixen! Oh also she seems to be here with blankets and fabrics and stuff, maybe this can be a disguise?
B: Stoat! You can get new bombs to replace the ones you lost, and maybe the weasel has some tricks about hiding your scent, too?
C: This is lame butts. Head back out, and have Pocket just, like. Try to steal something from the Lane, or something. Youdunno.

fox lady for foxy things.

B. Talk to the stoat, I guess? Fabric doesn't seem all that useful unless someone has an idea about what to do with it.

>>477087
Textiles won't do much to disuise your scent. See the Stoat first.

B seems the better option for a functional disguise.

A might be fun to talk to though, and possibly there are other uses for fun fabrics. Making yourself more charming, or as wooing gifts?

B and then woo up the fox lady

Talk to the vixen! I don't care which items you go for, but talk to the vixen!

Jashbireth 2012/12/07(Fri)19:40 No. 477098 ID: 75ebf5
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B, check out that stoat!

You manage to restrain your urges to woo ladies for a moment! You walk up to the stoat and the ferrets.

The stoat is definitely teaching these two young ferrets how to make smoke-bombs! All the smells here are all spicy and dusty. The stoat notices you and leaves the ferrets to their practice so he can come up and talk to you.

“Hello heyo!”

Pocket scrambles up to the top of your head.

“Foamy blood!”

The two stoats start talking in the Stoat language. Fortunately, you know enough of it to follow along.

“Oh, Foamy blood to you! Are you a traveling bunch?”

“This idiot likes to think he is some adventuresome bandit like the original Jashbireth was.”

“Exciting! So you are a wander-weasel I do not know your scent then!”

You butt in, your tongue speaking Stoat like theirs.

“I can understand you guys.”

“Oh! You can speak with our tongue and very well for a fox too! Hello I am Bomb. I am a bomb-maker.”

“Hello Bomb. I’m Jashbireth. I’m looking for some supplies so I can, uh.”

“Steal stuff.”

“A worthy chase! What is your stumble?”

“Well, I want to steal a thing, and then pretend I caught the animal that stole it and return it and be a hero. So I need to be not-recognized. Also I could use some new bombs.”

“I can get you a magic potion that will change your scent! It will take me only a little while to brew. Is that good? I would need an incentive to do all this, though! I work for the ferrets here for food so I have food.”

“What do you want then?”

“Well! If we are confessing out secret stealing plans, the ferrets have this wonderful plant-snipper that I’d love to have. I can’t think of much else more I’d want right now!”

A: Offer to steal the plant-snipper for Bomb, in exchange for a scent-changing potion and a bomb-restock!
B: Promise a later service in exchange for the potion and bomb-restock!
C: Pimp Pocket out to him, in exchange for the potion and bomb-restock!

C! She really doesn't seem to mind, and it worked out pretty well for us last time.

oh man totally steal the plant snipper we will snip all the plants

A, Theft! We can prepare for our theft by practicing other theft. Besides, it could have long term benefits, if the plant-snipper helps Bomb make more bombs and stuff in the future for you to buy.

C isn't the answer because we felt bad about it last time. Also because we already did it once! That's boring, and using Pocket for everything is too easy. Which is also boring.

>>477098
(Joke about C, do A)

Joke about pimping Pocket out to him but actually agree to steal the thing.

We need more actual banditry under our belt, after all.

B. People don't murder us here yet.

>>477099
Oh come ON. If we use her for ALL our problems, she'll get Weasel Chlamydia or something eventually. Besides, we're Best BANDIT, not Best Pimp. We ain't nearly fly enough to be Best Pimp. Let's go with B.

>>477098
B is the only option.

C, clearly. Pocket is like a currency which comes back to your wallet after you spend it.

A. We have to steal stuff sometimes to be a best bandit.

A. This will be a magnificent heist.

B. How would A even work? I mean we take the thing and give it to this guy who totally hangs out here and then they see he has it and go "hey, how did you get that?"

C. if you cant be the best bandit you can always be the best stoat pimp.

Ask how long the smell change lasts, we could get the potion now, use it to steal the clippers, hand them over for the bombs, then possibly have enough time to commit the second heist. We would also need to know since we have to wait for our scent to change back after we commit the theft before we can have Pallia tell us about being robbed.

Go and talk to the vixen already. Real bandits don't need none of that cockamamie magicking stuff. Magic always goes wrong, it's like the first thing they teach you in bandit school. Did we even go to bandit school?

>>477098
A.
Do not C. Who knows how many times she'd let herself be exploited like that before the consequences of leaving seem like a cake-walk. Or she gives good-sounding advice that gets the foolish fox killed.

go A. srsly stoat sex is terrible.

Jashbireth 2012/12/08(Sat)11:04 No. 477236 ID: 540fd2
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A, steal the thing for him! You’re a BANDIT after all!

“Yeah, I’m always okay with stealing stuff.”

“Well! I think it is in the lane-rows. You might need to let the stoat do it.”

“Yes I get to do something other than sex! Nice!”

“Huh?”

“Don’t… worry about that. How long does it take to make the potion?”

“Hours! Come evening I’ll be out by a hollowed log, to the north. Bring it to me then and I’ll have the potion!”

“Is that the same log Hanshah uses to drop off stolen stuff for us?”

“It’s a popular spot.”

“So how does the potion work?”

“It is magic! It makes you scentless for a long time. Nose-numb, no animal will know you!”

“For how long?”

“Days?”

Yeesh.

“Okay. We’ll meet you at the log when it gets dark.”

Jashbireth 2012/12/08(Sat)11:04 No. 477237 ID: 540fd2
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You decide to talk to the vixen anyway, also, because why not?

She’s swaddled with soft blankets, and her saddle has tightly-rolled textiles on it. Behind her are some more, like, sacks, you guess? There are a few mice, poking about in the maze of fabric.

She’s a dark red. She smells smooth and peppery, but the dusty, thick smell of fabric weighs down over her.

You address her in the Fox language, because it’s been a while since you got to speak it!

“Leaf!”

“Leaf!”

You’re both foxes, so you’re both technically part of the Leafwork society, so you use the traditional greeting and get down to the introductions.

“Who is your mother?”

“Etrajiliji laj Paffjanij. Who is your mother?”

“Lefjhani laj Hafjylin! I do not think there is a relation.”

Pocket bites at your ear and tugs it.

“Hey! I don’t speak Fox none of the mice speak Fox this isn’t fair what are you saying!”

You ignore Pocket.

“So what are you doing here?”

“I’m normally under Ivory-Sands Manor’s patronage… but I trade excess fabrics here. I have my own workshop at their manor.”

Ivory-Sands Manor is another wolf manor, outside of your usual roaming range.

“Classy! I’m an adventurer. And bandit.”

“Classy. Nice to meet you.”

A: Try to get some blankets to make a disguise for yourself!
B: Don’t try to trade, just try to make a friend!
C: Touch fluffy tail.

>>477237
C. Mother fucker, you're the straightest shota.

she's useless. get to the stealing spot.

B.

Is that a neutral expression or is she just glaring at you.

A! Disguise yourself in Ivory-Sands colors when you're sneaking around then maybe you can instigate a feud between the two manors and then maybe Tangled-Ivy will hire you for real and then you can play both sides and get more facetime with Pallia and make her fall madly in love with you and make little hybrid puppies and I'm getting way ahead of myself I should shut up why am I still typing

D: All of the above.

Act friendly, ask about her wares, see if any would look good on you, and if it's not horribly offensive, touch her tail and complement her on it.

>>477244
Yes, all of the above seems reasonable.

All of the above!

C

TOUCH
FLUFFY
TAIL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nyHPIcbn88
[I apparently can't embed it because it is embedded elsewhere]

>>477244
D. And be all happy to be talking to a fellow fox for the first time in a long time. Oh, and in addition to getting a disguise is Ivory-Sands colors, see if you can get a little roll-up sun and rain shade for your saddle. Then Pocket can't say you don't do anything for her. Then send her off to scout out that plant-snipper thingy while you chat.

C
There is no other way.

We got awhile before we can get that potion so queuing a few more adventures to pass the time could be a good idea. Ask her if she is skilled in or knows someone nearby who is good at Haberdashery and check her wares for any good hat materials. Robin Hood, James B. Miller, and Pirates who are basically the bandits of the sea all have fine hats. It doesn't make them good bandits but it gives them an image.

Jashbireth 2012/12/08(Sat)13:36 No. 477272 ID: 540fd2
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D, all of the above!

“So you have your own workshop! That’s very impressive.”

“I inherited stewardship of it from my sister. She… well, she wasn’t fit to run it any longer.”

“Did you make all of these yourself?”

“Well, the mice and the machines did the actual work… but yes.”

You reach a forepaw out and touch about at the fabric on the floor. The material is actually legitimately good quality.

“I might actually be looking for something to wear. Maybe a saddle-cover for the rain. Maybe something for my flanks.”

“Something for your adventures?”

You settle down to the ground, entirely accidentally around her tail. You let the big, fluffy thing rest between your forelegs and your chest, under your chin. She doesn’t move it away. You’re touching it with half of your body.

“I might need something of a… disguise.”

“Ooh. Something more for your… banditry. What kind of banditry do you do?”

“This isn’t fair no one else knows what you two are saying.”

“In Leaf, can you keep this secret? I’m going to steal something from Tangled-Ivy Manor.”

The vixen’s body perks up at this. Her tail presses up, under your jaw. It feels niiiiiice.

“Oh! Do they know you there? Do you take meat from them, and need to disguise yourself to rob them?”

“Well, I’m not in their employ, but I’ve been there a few times. I’m more going to steal something, and then pretend to catch the thief, so the manor thinks I’m a hero.”

The vixen seems genuinely impressed.

“Clever! Very clever. I can make you up a disguise if you promise to do me a favor while you wear it.”

“A favor for a thing is how I usually do everything!”

“Then, in Leaf, a secret. While you steal whatever you are there to do… kill their One Stream liason.”

Oh. She means that raccoon that was in the armory last time you went there. Wait, what?

“Kill him?”

“If you kill him, and then bring the ‘criminal’ to justice, Tangled-Ivy Manor will be without a craftsanimal for a little while. That can be very useful.”

She draaaaaags her tail out from under your chin.

A: Agree to it. One Stream—the raccoon society—they’ve always had a rivalry with the foxes’ Leafwork anyway!
B: Agree to it, but don’t plan on actually doing it.
C: Offer some other service for a disguise.
D: Forget the disguise, just go get the plant-snipper.

B

>>477272
I'd rather if we waited on that until we got him to make us a fox saddle. Tell her that.

Go with A, but ask her if she knows where you can get a proper fox saddle. Tell her that he thinks you work with them, and said that he'd be willing to make a saddle.

As for how to kill him... is there a way to poison him without having to feed him? Put together a poison dart of some kind, have Pocket sneak behind him while you talk and poke him.

Then apologize and say she's mentally ill, likes to poke people.
Best plan.

>>477272
D. We're thieves, not assassins.

B! She's committing the greatest bargaining mistake of all: payment before completion of service. If you don't kill the 'coon, you still get the disguise. You can't lose. Except if you do kill the 'coon, then it would be super awkward between you and Pallia.

Well, if he is dead then he probably won't be able to tell anyone about that fox saddle we are going to convince him to make for us. Not sure actually killing him is necessary, though, unless she really hates the specific raccoon. I mean she just wants him to be gone for a while, right?

B.

Best banditry means an absurd pile-up of gambits. We'll just rid of the coon somehow, and then frame it for our later crime so it can't come back.

>>477272
C
Bandits aren't assassins. Bandits kill when they have to. Can't we just frame him as the stealer or something? He's a racoon for god's sakes, nature's burglar.

>>477272
You know, we can get rid of the 'coon by framing him for the theft. We don't have to kill him to give her what she wants.

So, like, C.

C, we are a bandit not an assassin...but if there is something she would have us steal from there, we would happily do it.

A. Can't be a best bandit without slitting a few throats!

A!

Jashbireth 2012/12/08(Sat)17:05 No. 477337 ID: 540fd2
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C, make another offer!

You aren’t entirely comfortable with just offing that raccoon. Wasn’t he going to make that saddle for you?

“Well, I was planning on tricking him into making me a saddle at some point.”

“Was that a plan you have in motion?”

“No…”

“You can get another saddle. Will I have another opportunity like this?”

Hmm. You think.

>Best banditry means an absurd pile-up of gambits.

“How about I steal something, and then frame it on the raccoon?”

“Oh! Oh my. That’s even better than my plan. I like you. What’s your name?”

“Jashbireth.”

“Taffijhani. I’ll need some time to prepare your disguise.”

“Do you need to take my measurements, or something?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

“I would not! My weasel has to go steal something from here right now anyway, so I have nothing else to do!”

:crclblanket: “You really are a bandit!”

You decide it’s time to let Pocket know what’s up. You finally stop speaking in Fox.

“Hey, Pocket, the nice lady here wants us to frame the raccoon for the theft. She’s gonna make me a disguise! Can you go steal the leaf-snipper while she sets me up?”

“Uh. Oh. Okay?”

Satis Giilin 2012/12/08(Sat)17:06 No. 477340 ID: 540fd2
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You are Satis Giilin the Spider Woman, Stoat Saint of Traps and Plots! You’re currently disguised as Pocket!

And now you have to steal stuff while Jashbireth probably embarrasses himself with that fox-lady. That’s okay. It’s finally time to get your teeth wet! With blood, this time! Metaphorical blood! It’s time to steal okay it is finally time for something other than sex that is the point here.

You leave the dome-chamber and go out into the light of day!

You need to figure out where those plant-snippers are!

A: Just blunder around until you find them!
B: Go bother the bee-keeping ferrets for its location!
C: Find one of the infinite mice that live here and make them give up the location!

>>477340
C is doomed to failure, as you can never find one of infinity. 1/infinity=0, after all. Plus, doing the third thing you think of is for Jashbireth and idiots like him.

A is something Jashbireth would do as well.

Therefore, do B!

I'm fairly sure that choosing B would result in more of what you're excited to not be involved in at the moment.

997ce7's logic is infallible, so C is also right out.

Let's go with A: Sneak around competently and acquire information on their location.

B gives you a chance to potentially get some of your own back against those 5. Let's go that way.

>>477347
Upon further consideration, I agree with this.

A
no questions, just find it.

C! Because.

>>477340
Let's bully some mice. C.

C. if the plan fails, you get a free meal.

C

Satis Giilin 2012/12/08(Sat)20:13 No. 477401 ID: 540fd2
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C, bully some mice!

You follow the scent of mouse to the hill on your left. There are a bunch of small openings set into it, that open out towards the bee-hives further out. There are mice ranging around here, going about their business of “being lazy and useless” probably!

You bound up to them. You maneuver your body around one of the mice, cutting it off from the rest of the mice. You have its attention.

It shouts at you in Mouse, but fortunately you’re fluent in it!

“Hey! What your business!”

A: Physically threaten the mouse to tell you where to find grass-snippers.
B: Quietly threaten the mouse to tell you where to find grass-snippers.
C: Politely ask the mouse to tell you where to find grass-snippers.

Start by asking.

If that doesn't work, us mind games and trickery to build up an overwhelming threat that will get him to talk.

C. Pocket-style theft today!

Start with C and move up to B and eventually A if it's uncooperative.

>>477401
B. Be vewy vewy quiet. Don't attract a group of mice that will inevitably bite the shit out of you.

>>477411

what I was thinking. and if it all fails, eat it.

Satis Giilin 2012/12/08(Sat)21:14 No. 477418 ID: 8a7e15
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C, ask where to find the grass-snippers!

You aren’t Jashbireth. You’re not an idiot who makes the wrong choices. You just ask.

“Do you know where the ferrets keep the grass-snippers?”

“Oh that! That is in the storage room!”

“Where is that?”

The mouse gives you directions and you follow them inside the hill.

The tunnel passages are tight and smell of mouse and ferret and stale earth. The floor is dirt in this passage, and the rounded wall and ceiling are braced with tight twig-supports. The passage turns into a main hall that’s lined with worked wood, and you follow that to a large storage room just a turn away.

There’s almost no light, but you can see well enough. The room is large, big enough for many ferrets, although it’s currently full of mice. Most of them are actually busy busy, sharpening tools or making repairs.

There’s an older looking mouse with bones all over him and a bone staff. Great. A bone-head. Only the smart mice get to actually be bone-heads.

A: Sneak in and try to take the grass-snippers without being seen.
B: Cause a commotion among the mice, and take it when they are distracted.
C: Ask the bone-head for the grass-snippers.

MacGyver up some clever traps to kill them one by one. all of them. and then eat them.

>>477418
Ask to borrow the grass-snippers and just never return them. NOONE WILL EVER KNOW

C.

B, duh. What exactly to do, I've no idea. You'll figure something out.

Disguise yourself as Satis Giilin the Spider Woman and steal it. They'll never know it was you!

Alternatively, B.

B. Yell that there is a fire! Or a flood! Or a snake! Or something else that scares mice, which really shouldn't be too hard as long as it's something believable.

>>477418
B.

Don't cause any undue stress. We dont wanna be trampled by mice. What do bone-heads even do?

I'd try asking about them. Play dumb like someone's servant concubine if he asks why you need them.

B.
Cdm...

B. Stoats are agents of chaos by nature.

Satis Giilin 2012/12/09(Sun)12:21 No. 477481 ID: 8a7e15
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B, create a distraction!

>Yell that there is a fire! Or a flood! Or a snake! Or something else that scares mice, which really shouldn't be too hard as long as it's something believable.

You shove your forequarters into the room with an air of haste!

“Hey hey hey!”

“Who are you?”

“I was chasing a snake and it came this way! Did you see it?”

“A snake?”

“It’s somewhere inside here I can smell it slithering around can’t you smell it? All dusty and scaly with the dry moist taste of saliva and dead mouse gas burbling up from its throat!”

“A snake!”

“A snake!”

“Wait! Calm down!”

“A snake!”

A snake!”

“A snake!”

The mice start running around in a panic and the bone-head runs around trying to calm them down. You slither into the room and press your legs in tight and some of them think you’re the snake, too! It’s a total mess! How exciting.

Now you need to get that grass-cutter. It. It was a grass-cutter, right? Leaf-snipper? Something for harvesting plants. You aren’t sure what any of these things are! And the mice are freaking out too hard and think you’re too much of a snake for you to ask them what’s what!

A: Grab this big guy! He looks snippy!
B: Gnab this fellow! He looks easier to carry!
C: Kidnap this guy so you can carry both!?

C for Cnipping!

Also make is seem like you just grabbed whatever closest to chase off the snake while screaming in panic!

>>477481
C! More is best mice!

>>477481
Plant-snipper. C. A if not C.

It's A, I'm sure

A! More mice multiply messiness and complicate capers.

A would be better for snipping.

A looks like a quality snipper. Go for that one.

>>477481
A. Snipper!

Satis Giilin 2012/12/09(Sun)15:04 No. 477504 ID: 8a7e15
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A, just grab the big guy that looks snippy!

You consider kidnapping the mouse, but maybe this isn’t a good time to increase your team size.

You tug the big snipper from its wall mouth and grab it in your… teeth. Hmm. Even with its handle folded up like it is, it’s almost as long as you, and it’s heavy. You think the spike at the back is meant to be planted into the ground, and then the whole thing gets unfolded, and lifted up, and cuts stuff over your head? But right now it is a compacted mess.

You try to find a spot with your teeth to grab, and end up pulling it along backwards. It drags on the ground, and the mice don’t pay you any attention as you slip it out of the storage room.

You drag it backwards the way you came, and don’t realize there’s someone behind you until you bump into him.

“Oh! Hi!”

You look behind you. Oh. Oh great. It’s one of the ferrets. From the last adventure. This guy was the worst, really. You think he made you lick his butt. This is the last thing you need, now that you’re on a legitimate adventure!

“Are you back?”

“I’m not here for that. Get out of my way.”

“Is that a leaf-snipper? What are you doing with that? Why do you need that? Do you have any time?”

He makes a suggestive bite at the base of your tail. “Suggestive.”

A: Tell him you’re doing something for Bumblebee Lane with the snipper.
B: Tell him you’re stealing it.
C: Just push past the idiot.

Do you think you can kill him and make it seem like a snake did it?

Otherwise A, using only the most vague and misleading wording.

A and C. Some garden ferret asked you to fetch it or something.

C

>>477504
A. He's with Bumblebee Lane so knowing you're on official business should get you past him with the least amount of trouble.

Don't hesitate to threaten to snip off certain bits of him with the snipper if he doesn't back off.

I do not think pushing past him is a good idea, as rough body contact may just turn him on! He is bigger than you so you can't just overpower him.

A!

Satis Giilin 2012/12/09(Sun)16:39 No. 477517 ID: 8a7e15
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A; tell him you’re doing something for Bumblebee Lane

You decide to get it through his head that you’re way too busy to be fooling around with him!

“I am taking this because you ferrets hired me to do something with it.”

“What, really! No one told me. Are you working for the Lane now?”

“Sure yeah that is why I am using this.”

He grabs your neck in his mouth immediately, speaking over the muffle of your scruff.

“So you’re one of us now! Great! Don’t worry, I can cover for you if you’re late with that leaf-snipper! We have lots of time to fool around! We can go have fun!”

No, ugh, no. This was not the plan at all.

A: Just let him get it over with. He’ll last, like, three minutes, tops. It’s just kind of an inconvenience to you anyway.
B: Twist around and attack him! These ferrets are really wearing on you.
C: Say something that will make him go away! (Please provide something to say!)

siiiigh A. Was hoping to get through this without pimping out Pocket but you do what you gotta do.

>>477517
C:That's my neck!
I don't know you!

>>477517
He said "lots of time to fool around". Three minutes?

C. Tell him you are not one of them it's just a single job and to get his damn teeth off of you or you'll snip off his dangly bits with the plant snippers. Like seriously you do not want to have sex with him.

>>477517
C, not A: or do you want to have sex with them whenevery you meat one? That might be the result by choosing A now.

You have... uh, vaginal ticks. If he has sex with you right now they'll latch onto his dick and suck all his blood up. That's why you're stealing the snipper, you're trading it for a cure.

C.

Why should I run off and provide you with fun? I was getting something out of it, before.

>>477530
He'd just ask for oral.

In general, claiming STDs would make him go away, but it might reduce Jashbireth's ability to pimp you out in the future if it got out. Maybe that's a good thing?

>>477538
Say that they deposit eggs in your mouth and they can burrow into his testicles?

Oh, and claim that they can jump pretty far if he asks for anal.

>>477517
UM tell him you have a horribly contagious disease! Not necessarily an STD just...a disease. so oral is a bad idea too. in fact he better stop biting your neck or he might get it!
You're using the snippers to collect ingredients for a treatment. It's NOT a cure but it'll help control your painful oozing boil outbreaks in the future. :)

and done.

tell him his penis is tiny. he won't ever bother you again.

Satis Giilin 2012/12/09(Sun)18:05 No. 477546 ID: 8a7e15
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C, tell him you don’t want to have sex right now

“Hey, hey!”

He’s trying to drag you off, away from the leaf-sniffer or whatever it is.

“Hey, idiot. I’m only doing one job for Bumblebee Lane and you’re interfering with it so if I’m not doing my job I’m not working for Bumblebee Lane so if you have sex with me you can’t have sex with me.”

“What?”

“Let me go I’m not here for sex seriously. I have ticks anyway okay you’ll get sick they’ll eat your weiner.”

He lets go of you. You can feel your pelt slowly slide back to its normal place.

“Oh! Oh sorry I didn’t know.”

“Go away okay I am busy I am busy.”

“Okay fine sorry!”

The ferret trundles off down the hall. An explosion of mice from the storage room hits him, slamming him into the wall.

“Snaaaaaaaaaake! Get it!”

“Whoa wow okay.”

A: Go back to Jashbireth and sneak him the grass-snippers!
B: Go by yourself to the meeting-log, now, and wait for Bomb and Jashibreth to show up!

I can't believe that worked.

Anyways, A. More chance of catching him suffering something funny plus waiting is boring and waiting for Jashbireth is stupid it'll only encourage him.

ayyy.

Oh, cool, we actually managed an accidental gambit pileup. That worked out in to our benefit!

Sure, let's go A.

>>477546
A. If you don't bring it to Jash, he'll think you didn't get it and probably do something dumb.

A! Take advantage of your distraction while it lasts and finish the plan.

Satis Giilin, you have to be at least the second best bandit, but I'm sure you knew that already.

A. let's find what stupidity Jas has gotten himself into with the vixen.

B

>>477546
Ferrets are fucking assholes. Truly Stoats are true gentlemen.
Man, just go where ever's closer. Though to be honest B sounds safest.

A

These grass-snippers are as big as you are. Would be difficult to get them back to Jashbireth without being spotted. But waiting at the log would just be boring. So go to the meeting log, hide the grass-snippers somewhere near there, then go see what Jash is up to.

Satis Giilin 2012/12/10(Mon)14:34 No. 477697 ID: d6168a
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A, go check on Jashbireth and drop off the thing now!

You really can’t trust leaving that fox alone with a vixen for this long who knows what stupid stuff he’s gotten himself up to or into right now! You grip the leaf-snipper tight in your teeth and start dragging it the long distance up into the meeting-hill.

You get it up the hill and down the passage and into the big dome! It’s kind of tiring but that is okay because you know your labor is at an end.

Except Jashbireth is not here. At all. There are some crows in here, talking to some ferrets, but they aren’t even the same ferrets as before. One of them sees you and bounds on up to you.

“Oh, you brought me the tall shears! Thanks!”

He grabs them from you and starts waddling back up the passage with them.

A: Follow him, pretending to help him out, and offer to “bring them back” for him when he's done.
B: Follow him in secret, then steal them away when he’s distracted.
C: Tell him you need them more than he does!

>>477697
>tall shears
>not grass snippers
Those sound like they're the wrong things!

You'd better go back and get the other things.

Those goddamn things are heavy as fuck, you won't be able to "steal them away".

A. Also tell him you thought they were called plant-snippers.

I hate ferrets so much
I want to kill all the ferrets
Can we kill the ferrets Pocket? Burn their little beehive to the ground?
Otherwise C

The other available tool was definitely less a snipper and more a slasher, Bomb probably just didn't know the exact term the locals use for it. Go with A, if we tell him we need it more he'll probably want to know what for then to compare who needs it more.

A. Not only are they heavy and therefore difficult to carry sneakily, but do you really wanna do things the way Jashbireth would do things?

B! From what we've seen of ferrets so far, if we offer to help he might think we want to "help."

Satis Giilin 2012/12/10(Mon)15:57 No. 477717 ID: d6168a
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A, follow him and offer to bring them back when he’s done

“Hey wait up do you need any help?”

“Oh, maybe a little. I want some pine leaves from the little trees out by the forest.”

“Why?”

“I am going to use them to make a rain-shelter-thing! The waters slide right off them so we need to get to the saplings and cut off whole twig-branches!”

“Well, let me come along and help for a while.”

“Okay you can carry this!”

He drops the shear-snipper things and makes you take them back up. You’re not nearly as strong as he is, and you have to strain all the muscles in your neck and jaw to keep a grip on it while walking.

The entire time, the ferret babbles about nothing.

“… so then when this deer showed up it looked at me, and I was like, “Hey there is a deer in the middle of the lane,” and then Hobjookin came over and he said, “It is just passing through do not scare it or it will hurt you” and I said “Maybe we should catch it and make it our pet” and Hobjookin said “What good is a deer for a pet it is too big” and I said…”

Bumblebee Lane is becoming lost in the distance. To be fair, you’re a stoat, so you’re small, and things become far away quickly, but still! The snipper is also really straining your jaw and your tongue is dry and tastes like wood.

A: Slow down until the ferret is out of distance, then sneak off with the shears!
B: Make the ferret carry them to the forest, help him, and then have him give them to you when he’s done!
C: Make the ferret carry them to the forest, help him, and then tell him carry them to the log for you!

B.
Loudly drop the shears, and tell him to carry them for you, pointing out that you need to rest your jaw to carry them on the return trip. After all, he's going to be carrying a whole bunch of pine sapling twigs and probably won't want to carry the shears as well.

And as an added bonus, it'll shut him up for the rest of the trip out. That'll be welcome.

Try A, if it works then great, we got our shears. If the ferret slows down too go with B.

Domesticating a deer should totally be our next quest.

B!

Go for A, and if he slows down go for B. If it takes him a little bit to notice but he still comes back for you, segue into B by making a show of being too tired to carry the shears.

>>477717
Is he even looking at you?

A.

Satis Giilin 2012/12/10(Mon)18:46 No. 477743 ID: d6168a
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A, try to fall behind and slip off

You start to lag behind. For every looping bound he takes forward, you take less than a third. You’ve almost put enough distance between the two of you to slip off when he turns around.

“Oh, is that too heavy? Here let me carry that for you!”

Poop.

The trip out to the woods is boring. You throw yourself around the ground all over the place as you walk but you’re stuck at the ferret’s leisurely pace. Finally you come to the edge of the forest, where the ground loses its meadowy grass and turns into dirt and leaf and twig.

There are short, narrow saplings all at the edge of the forest. Their branches are only a short distance overhead, but are full with green needles.

You offer to help the ferret set the clipper up, but you really aren’t very good at it. He does it himself while you roll onto your back and watch him. He unfolds it all first, then jams the spike into the ground, then lifts it up over his head. With a tug of the string the metal blade slices into young branch! It falls on you.

“Oh.”

“I’m going to try and thread them together to make something to wear but that it doesn’t poke into me it is going to be a fun challenge. Do you like to make things?”

You fall asleep.

Satis Giilin 2012/12/10(Mon)18:46 No. 477744 ID: d6168a
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The ferret finishes collecting his huge bundle of branches and passes the clippers off to you.

“Your turn!”

“You go ahead, I have something I must cut myself, further off.”

“Do you need help?”

“I will be meeting friends there.”

The ferret bids you goodbye and you start your travel back towards Bumblebee Lane, towards the hollow log.

You do not get very far before you realize this is way too tiring!

“Oops.”

A: Leave the shears here, and go to the log to fetch Jashbireth! You can come back and get them with him.
B: Tie the string around your hips and try pulling it like that?
C: Give up?

>>477744
This is basically the worst adventure ever.

B. Unless you can find a really clever spot to hide it, then A.

B. If B doesn't turn out so well, A.

Attempt B. If not feasible, default to A, but find some clever way of hiding or concealing the snippers first so no one else will find them and take them.

C, which is really the same as A but with less enthusiasm. The snippers are big and ugly and not a thing for stoats. You would be doing Bomb a favor by not giving them to him.

grow a pair and keep going.

>>477748
That.

the problem with B is it will still drag on the ground. If you could find a way to balance it on your back without touching the grounds it may be less strenuous than pulling it through the dirt and rocks. the thick end looks shorter than your body so tying one end of that to your shoulder and the other to the base of your tail would mean you only need to make sure the part jutting to your side doesn't hit something like a rock or tree.

Jashbireth 2012/12/11(Tue)10:31 No. 477809 ID: d19c66
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?; You have no idea what Pocket is doing or where she is!

You went to the log a bit early, once the vixen finished making your disguise.

It’s stuffed into your war-saddle right now, getting in the way of the guns and the mice. You aren’t really sure what to do about it. More importantly, the sky is starting to change and the air is starting to cool and you have no idea where Pocket is.

Bomb should be here soon with the magic potion, and you have nothing to trade him for it!

That is kind of a bad thing.

A: Check back at Bumblebee Lane for her!
B: Wait here for her or Bomb to show up!

B
Wait for Bomb to show up, then say you sent Pocket for the clippers since you couldn't fit into the buildings here. Ask if he's willing to wait and say you have no idea where she is.

B

Can any of your mice speak stoat. If so leave it to give bomb the message that you're looking for Pocket who went to get the clippers hopefully you'll either find her soon or she'll arrive on her own and you'll arrive to find the deal already finished.

Jashbireth 2012/12/11(Tue)11:47 No. 477818 ID: d19c66
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B, wait for Bomb or Pocket to show up!

You have to have faith in Pocket. She’s one of the Best Bandits ever, she’ll sort things out.

You settle in against the log and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

“Uh-oh.”

“Is the weasel still missing?”

“The weasel is still missing.”

“Oh don’t worry! I see one! I see a weasel!”

You perk your head up. Yep, that’s Bomb, dragging something along through the grass.

“Hello! You are early!”

“But my weasel is late! I don’t know where she is. She has your shears.”

“Oh! Troubling. Should she be here by now?”

“I had kind of hoped so.”

“I respect that you might be clever, so I will say this. If this is some scheme to get the potion from me, without giving anything in return, I will not be happy.”

A: Leave one of your mice with Bomb for ransom while you look for Pocket… somewhere.
B: Offer to take Bomb with you while you search for Pocket.
C: Keep waiting for Pocket.

>>477818
B. But failing that just don't take the potion yet.

B
maybe C

B and, if that fails, go with A.
Ask around to see if anyone's seen pocket.

>>477818
B
Say that you were too lazy to actually think of a double-cross at that moment, not to mention distracted with a pretty lady. So you were going to do this deal legit. Mainly because you got other gambits to worry about over this one, and sometimes you got to skip the double-crosses to get to other double-crosses.

A. Don't we have one more than we technically need, anyway?

Jashbireth 2012/12/11(Tue)12:55 No. 477828 ID: d19c66
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B, offer to take Bomb with you while you search for Pocket!

“I really don’t know where she is. How about we go look for her together?”

“I don’t like how this sounds.”

“If this were a plot to trick you out of the potion I’d be really proud of it okay? Right now I’m just worried.”

Bomb climbs up onto your war-saddle, and the mice crowd into it too. With your disguise stuffed and packed into it, they’re all kind of clinging on awkwardly.

“Back to… Bumblebee Lane?”

You make a slow, awkward journey back down to Bumblebee Lane.

There are some ferrets and mice around, and a few crows and a cat. You ask all of them if they’ve seen Pocket.

“You have a stoat on your back!”

“I want a pocket to put something in!”

“Poor dear, did the mice steal her?”

“Not a clue.”

This isn’t going very well.

“Now what?”

That’s such a good question.

A: Hunt around for her smell?
B: Go to Hanshah for help?
C: Wait for her back at the log?

>>477828
A. Find her smell!

A, then C.
Only go with B if we really have to. Don't wanna look bad in front of that pretty vixen.

A. Be a fox!

A, you have the best nose, use it!

Jashbireth 2012/12/11(Tue)14:17 No. 477847 ID: d19c66
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A, be a fox and use your nose!

“How about I sniff around for her? I know her smell pretty well, if she was around here I can track her.”

“You realize this sounds suspicious?”

“If I were trying to trick you I wouldn’t say something so suspicious!”

You sniff around until you find the familiar cross-hatchey smell of Pocket and follow it along. She went through some tall grass, and she was dragging something heavy, so it’s easy to follow her. You think a ferret was along with her? You aren’t sure what to make of it. Why was she going out here, towards the forest?

You lose the trail once or twice, but the thing she was dragging helps keep you on track. You get up to the very edge of the forest; there’s a sapling with some branches freshly snipped. Pocket’s smell goes away from it for a few dozen paces and uh.

Well, there’s the plant-snipper Bomb wanted, sitting right there in the dirt.

Pocket’s smell just spreads out in every direction, and the ground has little clawmarks you recognize, and some you don’t. There are a few black feathers. And blood. Yeah. Yeah.

“Was she attacked by a crow?”

“It seems like it.”

“Oh. If this is a scheme to trick me, you are very good bandits! If it isn’t, you are perhaps not very good bandits at all.”

“Can crows even carry weasels off?”

A: Hanshah’s secret cat worship palace is nearby. Visit her and see if she knows what’s up?
B: Go back to Bumblebee Lane and bully the crows for answers!
C: Wander around and hope you stumble upon something!

A, then B if A doesn't pan out. We can't just wander about willy-nilly, gallivanting around the forest lazily in the hopes fortune smiles on us! This is Pocket we're talking about, we need to stick to a plan.

Can't we trade bomb's stuff for the plant snipper now? Then we can look for pocket. It's not like we really need him along...

>>477850
I couldn't have said it any better myself.

Also A.

>>477847
Yeah, give Bomb the snipper the job is done and this just got personal.
initiate killallcrows.exe recruit master bird killa masta Hanshah
Now is not the time for banditry, it's badassery. Best badasses time.

>>477852
Do the trade before checking in on Hanshah; no point revealing her location to others.

Then see if Hanshah wants to help find Pocket. Our friend needs help!

A! If Pocket's in trouble, we need numbers on our side to get her back. Without Pocket, we might have to pay for things instead of stealing or pimping for them. We can't afford those kinds of out-of-Pocket expenses.

A then B if/when Hanshah doesn't know anything, but you can drag her along for extra bullying power.

Jashbireth 2012/12/11(Tue)15:51 No. 477888 ID: d19c66
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A, recruit Hanshah and form the Best Badasses!

“First thing’s first. Bomb, you can take the clippers and go, our trade is done. We’re obviously not tricking you anymore.”

“This could still be a trick; if it is, I want to see how dedicated you are to it! If not, I still want to help. This is another stoat that is missing.”

“But—”

“I’m coming.”

Well. Damn.

You turn around and head for Hanshah’s hide-out. The trip is short, but the sun is sinking. It’ll be night properly soon. You find Hanshah in her mouse palace. All the mice are combing her.

“Hanshah!”

“Jashbireth. How is your banditry going?”

“Pocket was abducted by a crow!”

“… wasn’t your plan to steal from the wolves? How did a crow get involved?”

“We haven’t gotten to the wolves yet! I need your help to find Pocket!”

“You really do need my help, don’t you? I’ll help you, if you would, and kindly, beg me for it.”

“There was blood okay I don’t really have time.”

“Oh fine. I’ll expect it later, then, is that fair?”

Hanshah has joined the team!

“Now where are you going?”

Uh.

A: Go back to the attack site and see if Hanshah can find any clues!
B: Go to Bumblebee Lane and bully the crows for answers!
C: Wander around aimlessly!

B! Boldly bully Bumblebee birds before brutality befalls best bandit buddy

>>477904
Beautiful.

A. We're still close to the attack site and it's along the way back to Bumblebee Lane so we may as well have Hanshah check it to see if there's anything we missed. It'll take like no time at all.

>>477888
Gonna bully the shit out of some crows. Of course this means they could fly off.
Have the cat as some sneaky back up she may have to nab one with her mouth. You take the front she takes the back entrance. We're going to Double Penetrate their asses!

Jashbireth 2012/12/11(Tue)17:42 No. 477938 ID: d19c66
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B, go to Bumblebee Lane and bully the crows for answers!

You and Hanshah and Bomb and your team of mice make the trip back to Bumblebee Lane. The night is getting chilly, but it’s only a thing you sense on your nose and in the earth’s touch.

Bumblebee Lane is bustling with its evening activity. Ferrets are traipsing to and fro, and mice are scurrying about in little groups. You can see a few crows perched up on the trees, at the top of the meeting hill. You silently lead Hanshah up there and get right up under the tree and you shout.

“Hey! Crow!”

“Hmm? A fox?”

“My friend Pocket was attacked by a crow and I can’t find her! What’s the deal? Where is she?”

“What kind of animal is your friend?”

“A stoat!”

“I don’t know of any stoats that were attacked by crows.”

“Do you know of any crows that attacked stoats?”

“I’ve been here all day. Why would I know? Leave me alone.”

You walk to the smaller tree, where a single crow is perching.

“Hey, crow!”

“I didn’t attack your friend either, and I do not know who did.”

This isn’t going very well.

That seems to be a theme of things, today, doesn’t it?

A: Ask Hanshah to climb up the tree and force the crow to give you answers!
B: Ask the crow if he will help you look for Pocket!
C: Give up on this and do… something… else?

B will result in nothing being achieved.

Go with A.

A is the true final destination, besides, it's not like A doesn't lead into B anyway, right? You're not just going to let him get away now, you're gonna play good cop, bad cop.

>>477938
A

Jashbireth 2012/12/11(Tue)18:24 No. 477953 ID: d19c66
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A, have Hanshah climb up after the crow!

“Hanshah, I’m getting sick of these non-answers.”

“Shall I do something about it?”

“Please.”

Hanshah leaps onto the tree and begins climbing it. She hugs it broadly, working her way up in jagged pulls. The crow looks down at her.

“Really?”

The crow flies away.

You stare at Hanshah.

“I… can’t get down…”

A: Ask the ferrets to help you look for her.
B: Return to the scene of the battle and hope you can find something.
C: Screw this, go to the wolf manor, make a plea that a crow has killed another soul-possessed animal, and hope the wolves declare sky-fugitive on it and send falcons to hunt it down!

>>477953
A and B. Ferrets are still bros. Wolves still might recognize you as someone who stole supplies while they were distracted by the fire.

>>477953
How about helping hanshah down?^^

Help Hanny there down. If that's hard, have her climb to that branch and jump. Cats land on their feet, right?

Ask the ferrets for help. Remind them this is the one that had sex they're looking for. She's not up for sex today, but maybe in the future if they find her.

A and B
Hanshah is the worst badass
Don't let her know that though, we are a clever gentleman.

Why did we just do that, of COURSE the damn crow is going to fly away! A cat only succeeds in catching a bird by climbing a tree if the bird doesn't KNOW the cat is climbing! Don't spend time helping a cat get down from a tree. All she needs to do is just fall off and land on her feet.

A and B look like they could be done together without wasting much time.

A (and B if the ferrets don't have there own ideas about how to look for missing stoats).

A! Though it might be good to make sure Bomb has those ill-gotten plant-snippers safely out of sight.

beeeeee

D. Get the cat out of the tree. Maybe bullets from mice are involved? I don't know.

Jashbireth 2012/12/12(Wed)12:18 No. 478167 ID: 7efe3a
File 135534351704.png - (80.67KB , 500x500 , B2B 30.png )

A and B; ask the ferrets for help and then return to the battle scene!

“Hanshah, can you really not get down?”

“Almost—almost!”

Hanshah slowly lowers herself down the tree by loosening her grip, slide-falling a body-length, and grabbing on again. You wait until she’s back at the ground before trotting down the hill.

“Now what should we do?”

“We’re going to ask the ferrets for help.”

You find the nearest ferret and try to get his attention.

“Hey! Hey, my friend is missing.”

“Many things… are missing.”

“There are a bunch of you ferrets, so if we all look together maybe we can find her?”

“Together… we are… together…”

Hanshah pushes her nose against the ferret and sniffs. The ferret falls over.

“He’s really, really drunk. Maybe poisoned.”

“Aaaaah! Find me another ferret!”

Hanshah, you, and even Bomb and the mice split up and grab the attention of what ferrets you can. The few that seem interested enough to care join you in the middle of the lane, and you explain that Pocket might have been taken by a crow!

It takes you a bit longer to explain to them that they need to help you look for her, and even more time to convince them that she might still be alive. Some of the ferrets bound off into the graying night in search, so, well. Maybe this wasn’t a complete waste of time.

The sun is gone.

Jashbireth 2012/12/12(Wed)12:19 No. 478168 ID: 7efe3a
File 135534357928.png - (55.00KB , 500x500 , B2B 31-1.png )

You return to the site of the battle. Hanshah is at your side, and Bomb and the mice are stuffed on top of the disguise that’s overflowing in your war-saddle.

There’s a crow waiting for you at the scene of the crime!

“Crow!”

The crow flaps off into the forest and you chase after him. The crow keeps low, flying from tree to tree, and you can keep up really well. Frighteningly well. He’s leading you on.

You hear Pocket’s shrieks as you get deeper into the forest.

The crow lands on a low branch, facing you, and you see her. Pocket’s been tied up, strung over a higher branch, dangling helplessly next to the crow.

“I had wondered, by your absence, if you even cared about this weasel.”

“What are you doing with her?”

“Well, I think it looks like he’s holding her prisoner.”

“I’ve been up here for so long where were you you idiot!”

“What do you want?”

“Only a fair trade, the same as our last. You captured me, and so I’ve captured her. Fair trade, you must agree!”

“Oh! Oh, are you that crow? You said you were going to take the mirror without telling me anything!”

“And how sore I must be, that my scheme failed!”

“Did you hurt her? There was blood!”

“… that was my blood. She bit me. It wasn’t easy, to catch her, to hang her here.”

“Well now what?”

“I want you to steal something for me again. If you do, I will return you your weasel. If not, I will peck into her belly, and let her guts string down to the ground!”

“I’m going to chew his entire head off!”

“I’ll be very unhappy if you let a weasel die in front of me.”

“This sort of thing, this is why I can never tolerate birds at all.”

A: Call the crow’s bluff! He wouldn’t do it!
B: Dump the disguise out of your saddle, load your guns, and threaten the crow!
C: Have Hanshah climb the tree and attack the crow!
D: Agree to the crow’s demands!
E: Admire the crow’s cleverness, and offer to team up with him!

Hostage-taking is no fair trade. He must offer us something we want which we did not originally have.

E then D
Maybe, if we can't get him on our side, we can just wait around for him to fall asleep or something then send Hanny or Bomb up to free Pocket?

!E!

...I'm almost surprised "leave pockets to die" isn't an option.

>>478171
This sounds good.

>>478168
Inverse E, with B:Insult the Crow's stupidness, there was never even a ransom note. The fuck were we supposed to find her without a goddamn mob? And two, we have a goddamn mob, so here's the thing crow, we know who you are, three, you are part of a crow race that would backstab everybody, finding you despite your ability of flight would be easy as hell with the help of another crow for a fair trade or hell an eagle. Who's saying that even after we conduct our business we'd even let each other live?

We're at a goddamn stalemate here of hate, betrayal, cleverness and stupidness. We have no confirmation that either side would agree to a deal, only that death is the outcome. This is literally to worse plan the crow has ever thought of, because no matter what happens, there's only one outcome that doesn't result in his death, and that's flying away now withiout killing Pocket. Because if you kill Pocket. We will find you, we will follow and we will make you hurt, and we will kill you.
You have no proof you would ever agree on your part of the deal, and you have a terrible reputation crow. Face it, you have no goddamn leverage whatsoever. And then, if we're not sure what crow is which, we will commit genocide on crows until they agree to give you up, pretty simple way of fucking you up.
He is the worst bandit.

Jashbireth 2012/12/12(Wed)13:50 No. 478196 ID: 7efe3a
File 135534905439.png - (75.27KB , 500x500 , B2B 32.png )

E, offer to team up with the crow!

“We already know we can’t trust you.”

“That’s true.”

“We’re both too clever to go against one another. Why don’t we join up and steal things together?”

“What?”

“What?”

“That sounds entirely sensible. My name is Crallow. What are we stealing?”

Crallow has joined the team!

“Just like that. Really.”

“I’m very persuasive.”

Crallow helps Pocket back down and you and your team all assemble for an action pose.

“Well! I guess there was no real trick being played on me. You can have your potion and bombs, now!”

With that, Bomb takes the snipper and leaves!

You’re actually finally free of obligations!

You try to remember your goal. You’re trying to steal something from Pallia, so you can frame it on the raccoon, so you can “catch” the criminal, return the thing, and get in good with the wolves and pay the vixen back for your awesome disguise!

How on earth are you going to do this?

>I

-1 Wolf-Pup Training saddle
-2 Springwork guns

-1 Fire-bomb
-1 Smoke-bomb
-2 Eye-irritant bombs
-1 Scent-Hiding potion
-1 Awesome Disguise

-1 Stoat
-1 Crow
-1 Cat
-5 Mice

A: Go to Tangled-Ivy Manor openly, to scope out the current situation.
B: Go to Tangled-Ivy Manor in disguise, using the potion, and steal something!
C: Have Crallow fly to Tangled-Ivy Manor to steal something alone!
D: Some other, cleverer, starting point? (Please provide clever plan!)

>>478196
Missing: bolts?

Jashbireth 2012/12/12(Wed)14:03 No. 478200 ID: 7efe3a
File 135534981592.png - (3.80KB , 64x64 , crcljashbireth.png )

>>478199

-20 bolts

>>478196
Oh boy the crow was stupid enough to come down here again.

Lunch is served, Hanshah!

A! The last time we saw the manor, stuff was on fire and junk. Maybe security has been changed.

>>478201
Agreed. Fuck that guy.
Let's wait until we know pocket is safe and the crow is sure to die though. Don't want him getting away before we eat the little bastard.

A.

Put off plans of murder or retaliation, for now. We're bandits. We're about being clever and sneaky, not killing. We'll prank the crow back later. We'll make an adventure of it.

>>478232
I agree with pranking the crow or something later, not killing him. I mean, remember that an option we had was to tell the Wolves that there was a murderer and to hunt them down. Do we want that happening to us? Hmm?

I think we should at least praise the crow's skill at bondage, though. That wasn't a particularly simple method for tying up someone.

I think we should do B, because if we show up, leave, then some scentless disguised dude comes around the very next day and steals something, they are likely to suspect us. On the other hand we might be able to use that in our favor? As in, they accuse us once we return after the potion's worn off, we say we'll find the real culprit to prove our innocence. We'd better make sure we have some real good fake evidence though.

B. Or anything that isn't C. Do not trust crow.

>>478232
>>478226
A
and having someone who can fly on the team is way to useful

Jashbireth 2012/12/12(Wed)17:37 No. 478267 ID: 7efe3a
File 135536266849.png - (40.80KB , 500x500 , B2B 33.png )

A, scope out the wolf manor without your disguise!

“Let’s just go to the wolf manor like we’re visiting. We can sniff the place out and plan our theft better if we know what to steal ahead of time!”

You, Pocket, Crallow, Hanshah, and the mice take a leisurely trip over to Tangled-Ivy Manor. It’s not the shortest walk, and you take a break now and then. It’s well into actual night by the time you arrive.

Half of the hill is burnt black and brown, grassless and ashen. The manor itself seems to be unharmed, but the fire you set totally on accident last week really did some damage to the area around it.

You can see some lights on, in the few windows that are cut from the manor building. You can smell meat and hear murmurs of wolves inside. Are they having dinner?

You know how things work. You’re friends enough with Pallia (you hope) that you can justify your visit with coming to say hi!

But maybe you shouldn’t enter with this many animals accompanying you? And the disguise stuffed into your warsaddle? It might be a bit weird if you go marching in with all your team at once.

You could fit all five mice in the saddle, Pocket in her pocket, and Crallow perched on the saddle’s back. Hanshah’s too big to fid inside the saddle anywhere.

Who are you taking in to check the place out with you?

>>478267
We should keep Pocket with us, and leave Hanshah with Crallow and our extra gear. In other words, let's just visit with the same animals and gear that we had last time.

>>478288
Yep. And have our cat buddy guard the gear from the crow. That should work just fine. Don't let the crow know that you suspect him of treachery, though.

Jashbireth 2012/12/12(Wed)18:44 No. 478297 ID: 7efe3a
File 135536668136.png - (49.78KB , 500x500 , B2B 34.png )

Your companions are Pocket and Mice. The others wait outside with the disguise! You tell Hanshah to make sure the crow doesn’t do anything suspicious!

You enter the wolf-manor uncontested. You haven’t been in through this part of the manor yet, but you have the map pretty well in your head by now! You can smell food and wolves all around you but you don’t see any right yet!

New to you is the left, which is a corridor leading into a half-walled room that seems to be for sleeping! There are no wolves in there now, though.

There is an unknown room just up ahead on the right.

There’s the mouse room you never explored, up ahead.

The raccoon’s workshop is at the far end, to the far right.

The kitchen is in the middle, on the left, entered by the top hallway.

The meeting room and entrance to the second floor is opposite the kitchen.

Pallia and her library are upstairs—it’s where you want to steal something from.

The raccoon’s workshop probably has the raccoon you want to frame for the theft.

But right now, you’re here to gather information.

A: Snoop at that raccoon!
B: Go upstairs to the library!
C: Poke your head into the kitchen and see what’s in there!
D: Check out the room on your right?
E: Peep the mouse room?

Don't trust the crow enough yet to leave him alone with our valuables. Don't trust the cat to not fall asleep if we leave her alone with the valuables. Can't leave the crow and the stoat alone together. Can't leave the cat and the mice alone together. Can't leave the goat and the cabbage alone together. Wait, what?

Leave Hanshah and Crallow to guard stuff (between the two there's at least one trustworthy person), take Pocket and mice with you.

Gah! Too slow.

I'll be quick, this time. D!

>>478297
Let's see what's in D, just to know what's there.

Let's not actually enter the library now. If we leave our scent in many places but not the place something was stolen from (we will return later with a hidden scent and a disguise), we would have an alibi.

Something worth noting is that Ivory Sands (where the vixen is from) is also where Pallia is from, and has unfriendly relations with Ivy-Stone manor. When we steal something we will need to make sure that Pallia also has a solid alibi, because they will probably want to blame her and that would be bad.

Jashbireth 2012/12/12(Wed)19:36 No. 478311 ID: 7efe3a
File 135536976779.png - (54.34KB , 500x500 , B2B 35.png )

D; the lure of the unknown room calls to you!

Oh, this seems to be the main sleeping room. There are a few levels built into the floor, and its strewn with wolf-beds. Walking into the room is like walking into a wolf. It’s all you can smell.

There’s a young wolf cub here. She looks at you challengingly. Her voice is immature, but gruff and harsh all the same.

“Hey, fox! What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to—”

“I’m Andria. I’m in here because I’m being punished and so I can’t have dinner. Fox, are you a thief? Will you steal me some food?”

A: Agree to steal the food!
B: Do not steal the food!

>>478311
Agree! If we can get away with it, we'll have an inside (wo)man. Someone to vouch for us; possibly even a false witness.

Why do you assume I have to be a thief to provide food? (In case this is a clever ploy to catch thieves).

What are you being punished anyways, pup?

Then agree to help feed her anyways.

>>478311
You should teach a future bandit how to steal food

Jashbireth 2012/12/12(Wed)20:09 No. 478322 ID: 7efe3a
File 135537178223.png - (46.56KB , 500x500 , B2B 36.png )

A, agree to steal the food!

“Why do you think I’m a thief?”

“You’re a fox. You’re all thieves, like Jashbireth!”

She’s probably referring to the Ur-Jashbireth, who’s basically a thousand-year-old folk-hero. She’s almost probably not actually talking about you.

“I don’t need to be a thief to steal food for you.”

“You idiot! If you steal something you’re a thief! That’s how that works.”

“She has a point.”

“Why are you being punished, anyway?”

“I ignored the papernose and went outside to play instead! I don’t need to learn history! I already know it! That’s enough questions, fox. If you get me some food you’ll earn my favor. What will you do?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Yes!”

You sneak back out into the hall. The kitchen is right in there. You can hear a wolf and a bunch of mice moving around inside, and the sound and smell of fire and meat. You can try to get food in from there, or maybe sneak up to the dining room itself? But the wolves are probably having dinner…

A: Walk into the kitchen and ask for some meat.
B: Sneak into the kitchen and try to steal some meat.
C: Send Pocket in to steal some meat.
D: Send a mouse in to steal some meat!

We should travel back in time and become the Ur-Jashbireth.

Anyways, go in and do it yourself, Pocket probably can't carry enough to sate the wee bairn.

>>478322
There's mice in there. If you go in one will undoubtedly spot you, but if you send in one or more of your own mice they might be able to blend in and sneak something away unnoticed.

Or at least have them scout. So, D.

maybe.

Really, I think A and C simultaneously has the best chance of success. A might work on its own, and if not, C has a higher chance of success.

Jashbireth 2012/12/12(Wed)21:35 No. 478342 ID: 70747d
File 135537690128.png - (50.29KB , 500x500 , B2B 37.png )

Sorry, I did this update when there were only two votes, and the best one was for D; A would have lead to two or three more obligatory updates so I’m just using the update I did before the last suggestion went up! Also secretly D was the best and most expedient choice

D, send in a mouse!

“Hey, can one of you mice just pretend to live here and like. Steal some meat out for us?”

“We can try it!”

You send two mice off into the kitchen and hide out of sight. You lose track of their individual claw scratches instantly. The wait drags on horrifying seconds, and then tens of seconds. Pocket pokes at your ear reassuringly.

Finally the two mice come out, bearing a thick piece of meat between them.

“We didn’t even ask for it! We just took it! No one thought twice!”

“You guys are the true Best Bandits.”

You bring the meat back to Andria.

“Hah! You brought it! You brought me dinner!”

“I sure did.”

“You’re so dumb. Now I have proof of you thieving from the kitchen! The smell of fox is in the room, and of course I couldn’t have gotten it from the kitchen myslf!”

“Uh…”

“It’s ok. I won’t tell. But I could, you know?”

“Wouldn’t you get in trouble too?”

“Who would be in more trouble, you or me?”

“Uh…”

“Did we just get tricked by a child?”

“I won’t tell on you, but you owe me. You’re mine now. Do you know who Saint Andria was? She’s the Saint of Animal Herding, and I herded you.”

“I don’t think—”

“Leave me to my meal! I expect you to come and serve me when I want it, though! Or else!”

“We just got out-smarted by a wolf child.”

“We’re the Best Bandits.”

Well. Great.

A: Go to the raccoon’s workshop!
B: Go to Pallia’s library on the second floor!
C: Go to the mouse-room?

MOUSE ROOM

>>478342
Wait, I'm confused. The mice stole the stuff, how does THAT prove WE stole something? Their scent is in the kitchen, we only were in here for a significant amount of time, that's an ALIBI.

Good thing we have that scent potion anyway, no one will ever be able to recognize us with that. Or that we were here when we wear it. OR something. I don't know how the magic works. We outsmarted her outsmarting.
C

A! We still need our "Raccoon" buddy to give us a new fox saddle.

Get someone to commit a crime for you, and then own them, bluh bluh.

Whatever. The blackmail has an expiration date anyways. She's eating half the evidence now, and the smell won't persist forever. And you never entered the kitchen yourself. And the crime is what, taking pity on a pup and feeding it? Pup is blowing this out of proportion.

I suspected she would be a meddling kid the moment we met her. Being blackmailed means that (as far as she knows) we are useful to her, and we can only be useful to her while we are not a fugitive, so us getting caught for other things is now against her interests.

I vote C, because we do not want our smell near the library we are planning to rob or the raccoon we are trying to frame.

Jashbireth 2012/12/12(Wed)22:08 No. 478358 ID: 70747d
File 135537888997.png - (165.12KB , 500x500 , B2B 38.png )

“You know you’re eating the evidence right now.”

“My breath will be the evidence!”

“I didn’t even go into the kitchen, my smell isn’t in there.”

“But what about in this room?”

“Are you arguing with a child?”

“I’m not letting her win!”

C, the mouse room!

The entrance to the mouse room is barely big enough for you to enter, honestly. You shove your head into it, making this the last unexplored room of the manor’s first floor! Yes!

Tangled-Ivy 1st Floor layout learned!

The room is like a closet, overflowing with complicated mouse constructions. Mice scurry to and fro, using secret passages to get into all the other rooms in the manor. A mouse could get to basically any room directly from this mouse-closet, but you’re not a mouse. It’s still good to know!

A: Go to the raccoon’s workshop!
B: Go check out the second floor? The library is up there, but there are also things unexplored, too!
C: You have enough figured out! Time to leave!

If we learn her truename we can herd her instead.
Also A

C. We haven't found anything to steal, but we should leave anyway and stop spreading our scent around everywhere. We could leave one of the mice to scout around upstairs, maybe.

>>478358
>“But what about in this room?”
So what? That isn't evidence to anything beyond us exploring. You know who else was in these room? A bunch of mice, oh look they're everywhere in this house and hard to tell apart, even with scent since they're so tiny. Oh and look, they fetched it for you, wow. That is some real good blackmailing there, good for blackmailing any mice in this house, not a fox.

C. Let's do this, I don't want to risk screwing up the job by getting noticed by the target.

...you know, just because we figured out she's not as clever as she thought and she doesn't really have a hold on us doesn't mean we need to tell her. Until she tries to get us to do something, then we're all like "why should I care". We don't need to fight about it now.

If anyone asks later what we were doing, we came in for <some reason>, but then ran into an annoying thinks she's cleverer than she wolf pup, became annoyed and left. We didn't get her any food, and we don't know why we would have, anyways. He folks will totally believe that story, and our scent leavings will confirm it.

Also, C.