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File 135069026801.jpg - (198.17KB , 720x720 , frame47.jpg )
464544 No. 464544 ID: 6a5a08

You, Quad von Profit, are a Squarefolk Merchant. Your mother ran off with a Squarefolk Bard and was eaten by Bobcats. Thanks to that Filthy Stinking Whore, you were left with your father and a Burning Hatred for the Female Sex. When your father passed away you were left with his Shop and Lots of Gambling Debt. The Shop was looted to repay your father's Lots of Gambling Debt, leaving you with only your trusty Loincloth. Naturally, this was all the fault of that Filthy Stinking Whore.

The last thing you remember is stabbing a Rampaging Filthy Crossdressing Wannabe Whore who dared to exist outside of your Shop through his Empty Heartplace Where Hearts Go.

But before you continue with your story, there are these System Messages to deal with, marked with Exclamation Thingies.
Expand all images
>>
No. 464657 ID: d4ad1a

+1 to smarts.
>>
No. 465010 ID: c8be92

Supernatural Fury seems to be the way to go with all this rage. Powerful spell-casting from a spirit while you are killing thing? Hells yeah.
>>
No. 465060 ID: 6a5a08
File 135086875767.jpg - (103.55KB , 720x720 , frame48.jpg )
465060

>>465010
You agree with the spirit's offer.

>Lesser Spirit of Wrath joins your party as a Guest.
Str: - Res: ?
Chn: ? Smt: 1
Agl: 1 Chr: 2

>Traits:
Illiteracy: The spirit is unable to read mortal language.
Read Rune: The spirit can, however, read old runes.
Detect Spirit: The spirit can see other spirits, and detect spirit-sensitive persons. This works both ways, however.
Wounded: The spirit has been injured in some way, and is unable to manifest physical form until it recovers.
Metaphysical: Lacking physical form, the spirit has no Strength stat or Hearts. How its health is tracked is beyond your Smarts.
Reliant: Due to its weakened state, your Rage Quadrangles are its only mana pool right now.

>Spells:
Curse: The target takes a bad luck penalty to all actions equal to the user's Charisma. Can be stacked with other spirits' curses, but not with itself. Cost: 1/2 RQ
Degrade: Deals 1 Heart of damage to the target. Can also rot/rust/disintegrate objects. Cost: 1 RQ

Guests cannot be controlled directly, but you can ask them to do things. As the Wrath Spirit is latched onto your Soul, you need not waste time vocalizing the request. How convenient.
You can also act at the same time as the Spirit casts.

The Spirit tells you to call it whatever. It also assures you that the suddenly rampant Color Orange has absolutely nothing to do with the Thread Subject. That is a Mystery.

>>464657
With the Spirit attached to your brain and sucking out all of your built up Spite, you can finally Think Clearly, and your Smarts increase. You feel you could now finish learning to Read, should anyone Teach you.

Also you wake up in a Cell. It is Cold (though this barely fazes one of your formidable Resilience), and smells like a Wet Dog shit itself in a Garbage Dump.
You see a Prison Bunk and Thin Pillow, a Bucket, and a Puddle. Oh, and you can see the Cell you are presently in, if that was unclear.
>>
No. 465073 ID: c8be92

Get bucket, disintegrate bars, exit cell, exit rest of jail.
>>
No. 466152 ID: 6a5a08
File 135119499704.jpg - (161.95KB , 720x720 , frame49.jpg )
466152

>>465073
You drag the Bucket over and test out your new Degrade Spell. Seeing the Spell Range, it looks like the Hole would be big enough for you to squeeze through. These Prison Bars look Spiffy and New though, as Incredibly Shitty as the rest of the Prison is. You might only Rust them.

The Spirit sees what you want to do, and tells you that decreasing the Spell Range sometimes increases the Spell Power. Even something of High Quality could be Degraded. Part of it, anyways.

Whatever, you say. Long as you can bust outta this joint and get back to... whatever it is you were doing. Point is you're busting outta here.

How much of what should you Degrade?
>>
No. 466171 ID: d4ad1a

Degrade the hinges. Smaller target, more concentrated degradation.
>>
No. 466183 ID: 14bafe

Just the Top hinge should do it; you can probably just push the door over at that point. The weight of the door will rest on the bottom hinge, and it should break easily if you give it a little torque.
>>
No. 466186 ID: 214bf9

Degrade the lock, maximum power
>>
No. 466216 ID: e59c63

>>466186

this. then you can just push it open.
>>
No. 466457 ID: 0b214d

>>466216
Agreed, degrade the lock.
>>
No. 466479 ID: 6a5a08
File 135128133290.jpg - (94.07KB , 720x720 , frame50.jpg )
466479

>>466171
That'd probably work, but you don't have enough Rage for more than one casting.

>>466183
There seem to be more Hinges at the Bottom than the Top, protecting the Door from your Shockingly Low Strength. It appears that the Quest Author is working against you! That means they are a Traitor, and are therefore a Whore. You mark them down on your List of Whores To Smite.

>>466186
>>466216
>>466457
Fight the Power! You Melt the Lock, and step out into the Dungeon. Freedom has never smelled so much like Dog Shit. Oh, and you place the Bucket in your Hammerspace Inventory. Might come in handy. Get it. Hammers. Handy. Handymen. Fuck you, it was clever.

Returning from the digression of Terrible Puns, you are in a Hallway, lined on one side by Prison Cells. The big one is where they stick Unruly Drunks until they Sober Up. Tavern-Goers, such as your late Father, know it as the Pickle Jar.

The Prison Cell next to your Prison Cell contains a Malnourished Old Guy. He appears to be Malnourished. The next Prison Cell over contains an Eyepatch Guy, who is notably wearing more than just a Loincloth. He appears to be Healthy. Both Prisoners are Humens. The Pickle Jar contains no Drunks, Unruly or otherwise.

There are Stairs at one end of the Hallway, and Closed Doors on either end. You do not know where anything leads except the Stairs, which go to the Town Guard Lobby. You know this due to occasionally picking up your late Father from the Pickle Jar.
>>
No. 466626 ID: 0b214d

>>466479
Hmmm, this probably won't work. But try anyway. Remember every bad thing that happened to you in your life, every injustice, any scratch or wound suffered, all the times you felt angry or enraged.

Take all those memories and think on them, try to feel them, fuel them with each other, and ignite them with any anger or spite you can muster. Maybe have the Wrath Spirit help by supplying (i.e. telling and describing us) his own memories of rage and wrath.

The probably impossible goal here, is the creation of an internal self-sustaining rage breeder reactor to instantly regen some Rage Quadrangles or at least get the Squarfolk Regen equivalent of spontaneously restoring a rage quadrangle to self.


After that, whenether that works or not, talk with the Humens and find out who they are and why are they imprisoned here. Then go check the Closed Doors and see if they are locked...
>>
No. 466628 ID: 1e72ae

Ask eyepatch if he has any food that we can barter for, look to see if there are any items in the Pickle Jar, and look through the keyhole of/open slightly then look through the end door nearest to your original cell. (the left one)
>>
No. 466692 ID: 0b214d

>>466628
That too, in addition to my own suggestions...
>>
No. 466721 ID: 6a5a08
File 135137555449.jpg - (92.37KB , 720x720 , frame51.jpg )
466721

>>466626
>>466628
You attempt to Enrage yourself, but you've never Meditated on anything before. You're pretty sure that has to do with Strength of Character, or the Charisma Score. And yours' kinda sucks.
The Wrath Spirit tries to help get you worked up using some old memories, but you are out of Fucks to Give about those. It tells you that an triggering your Berserk Button would regenerate Rage Quadrangles. In other words, being around Filthy Whores will help get you Enraged.
You will also inexplicably recover all Rage Quadrangles when Midnight passes, same as Mana Spheres. The Wrath Spirit has no idea how that works, and frankly doesn't care. Probably just a Game Mechanic they tossed in to make this Ability not suck.

You check both Closed Doors. Neither are Locked Doors, but you cannot see into the Next Frame unless you go there. The Area Names that appear tell you that the Left (not your left, but Your left) Door leads to Cell Block 2, while the Right (not your right, but Your right) Door leads to the Jailer's Office. The Stairs go up to the Town Guard Lobby, as you already know, which is within the same Frame. You see a Closed Door at the top of the Stairs, which you know leads to the Guard Captain's Office.

Malnourished Old Guy rasps out something that sounds like waaaateeeer. You don't see the big deal. You can go Months without the stuff.

Eyepatch Guy says he ain't got no Food, ye only get 'er once a Day. 'N if'n 'e did, 'e'd certainly not be givin' 'er to no Landlubber what's a'ready got out. Be happy 'e ain't callin' fer the guard fer extra scraps. 'E ain't no Rat.
He also says if'n ye want 'im 't help ye out, yer gonna haf't bust 'im out first, but if ye do 'e'll put in a good word fer ye wit' 'is Cap'n.

The Wrath Spirit asks what Language this Humen is speaking.
>>
No. 466737 ID: 8042f4

>>466721
Letting him out was kinda what I meant by barter, but you will need the keys for that first. The keys would probably be in the jailor's room, water in either cell block 2 (keeping all supplies right next to the keys would be a bad idea in the event of an escapee like yourself) or the jailor's room, and exit would be through the guard section.
The jailor's is probably your best bet to get you on your way to supplies. Enter the room and be ready to toss the bucket at an armed and unaware foe.
(you can't use the puddle in your cell as water for the thin guy, right? I figured it would not be good to drink.)
>>
No. 466870 ID: 0b214d

>>466721

The human is talking in English, with a Scottish or Sailor-like a accent.

Try to get enraged at your pathetic stats and such. But regardless of whenether that will work or not, go check if the puddle in your cell is water, if it is try to get some of it in the bucket and offer it to the old guy. Humans need the stuff more than Squarefolk, it seems.

Next, go check Cell Block 2 if there is anything interesting there.

[QUEST QUERY: The bellow linked posts posses an identical set of numbers of '666'. Do we get any bonuses (Devil Bonus?) for that?

>>466626
>>466628
>>466692
END QUERY]
>>
No. 468284 ID: 6a5a08
File 135193379105.jpg - (55.30KB , 720x720 , frame52.jpg )
468284

>>466737
You imagine Stagnant Puddle Water on the floor of a Filthy Prison Cell is not very Healthy. At least, not for an Old Malnourished Humen.

>>466870
Sadly, you cannot get Enraged at Abstract Concepts such as your Stats. The System and The Man have Safeguards in place to Keep You Down. Like the fact that, while You know about them, you do not Know about them.

You for some reason begin to feel as though Satan is on your side. Here with you, even. Watching. Understan-
No, no, no, corrects the Spirit. That's just its presence. Tends to be a bit unnerving at first, having a Non-Physical Being that feeds on Negative Emotion stuck to your Soul.
Oh. Well nevermind then, fuck Satan. He's an Ass for not being on your side.
The Spirit agrees.

You ignore Eyepatch Guy for now and walk away without a word. That'll teach him to Bargain with Quad von Profit. Since you can't decide which way to go, the Spirit flips an Imaginary Coin for you.
Tails. Looks like you're heading to Cell Block 2.

You arrive in Cell Block 2. There are Solid Metal Doors separating you from these Cells, with small Peeky Windows. Apparently this is their High Security Section.
You cannot reach the Peeky Windows, because you are Small.

There is a Water Faucet at the other end of the Hall, with some Wooden Bowls stacked in the corner nearby.
You are fairly certain these are more Sanitary than your current Piss Bucket. Cause that's sure what the ones in the other Cells were. Apparently these City Guard Assholes can't even afford Legit Chamberpots.
>>
No. 468294 ID: e59c63

>>468284

Sure

just

meander on over past the four high security steel doors which probably doesn't contain anything giant and hungry that could burst through the walls

an go grab a water bowl for that old guy, filled with water

what could go wrong?
>>
No. 468341 ID: 1e72ae

>>468294
Do your best to be blissfully unaware of your predicament, and go get that water! (I know it's kinda dangerous, but we don't have the agil stat to sneak, and the only item that may help [thin pillow from cell] is out of this room)
>>
No. 468345 ID: 0b214d

>>468284

Carefully go over to the water faucet and fill up all the bowls with water and store them in the hammerspace inventory. If we have it we might as well abuse the everliving fuck out of it, if we can.

Then go and give old man a bowl or two, he better drink them slowly and not waste too much.
>>
No. 468376 ID: 6a5a08
File 135197389175.jpg - (54.81KB , 720x720 , frame53.jpg )
468376

>>468294
>>468341
>>468345
Jeez, seriously, this is Humenland Castletown. Nothing happens here. The Cells are probably Empty and Useless.

You go over to the Water Faucet and fill up 3 Wooden Bowls with Tap Water. Your Hammerspace Inventory currently has 4 Inventory Spaces, and 1 Inventory Space is taken up by your Piss Bucket. You add the Bowls of Water.
Your Loincloth is Equipped, and therefore does not take up Inventory Space. Nor do Imaginary or 'Weightless Items' (such as Paper, unless in a Large Stack).

Anyways, let's get the Geezer his Water.
>>
No. 468377 ID: 6a5a08
File 135197392009.jpg - (54.35KB , 720x720 , frame54.jpg )
468377

You give the Bowls of Water x3 to the Malnourished Old Guy. He quickly, but carefully drinks them, thanking you profusely in a Wheezing Voice. Eyepatch Guy watches idly.
You feel as though you have Accomplished Something. Almost like somewhere, in some Abstract Concept of a Quest Journal, you have been awarded Experience Points.
Feels Not Shitty.
>>
No. 468398 ID: 1e72ae

>>468377
um... I guess go into the jailors room. Prepare to use bucket as a weapon in combat.
I can't think of anything new.
>>
No. 468490 ID: 0b214d

Alright time to see the jailor, he's probably behind the other closed doors on the opposite side of the doors leading to Cell Block 2.

Prepare for possible combat, Piss Bucket in one hand and a Water Bowl in the other.
>>
No. 477093 ID: 6a5a08
File 135493545092.jpg - (85.82KB , 720x720 , frame55.jpg )
477093

You suddenly show up from the depths of Page Seven and Kick Open the Door to the Jailer's Office, dual wielding your Bowl and Bucket. Look at that Fatass Jailer, sitting around like he owns the place. Doesn't even have his Short Sword ready.
And look on the wall, it is the face of the Sworn Enemy of all Profit, The Advisor. This guy's been Whispering into the King's Ear and making it impossible for Honest Merchants, like your Father, to make an Honest Living, like your Father.

You're gonna wipe that Mostly Neutral Expression off of the Jailer's Ugly Face. Power of the Chinese Elements!
>>
No. 477094 ID: 6a5a08
File 135493549385.jpg - (96.77KB , 720x720 , frame56.jpg )
477094

Metal!
You missed. It seems you put a little too much height on that arc.

Fatass Jailer asks what you think you're doing he-
>>
No. 477095 ID: 6a5a08
File 135493552681.jpg - (97.69KB , 720x720 , frame57.jpg )
477095

Wood!
Critical Hit!

Fatass Jailer is Stunned and cannot act. You knew Would wood never let you down.

Unfortunately, you are out of Chinese Elements.
>>
No. 477100 ID: 1e72ae

Get that sword! Then take his helmet and knock him out. There's a guy watching you from the painting btw.
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