Neither.

You are a man.

Now man the fuck up and snap out of that daze, soldier.

Delight at the suffering of others. Oh wait, there are no others. hmmmm.....

Girl, sure. Press red light.

♀, obviously.

Now go check out that annoying red light.

You are a man....no you are the man.

Your gender is an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in applewood-smoked bacon

Yes you are a Man, a Man who can get out of that box.

Keep it a secret. Be androgynous enough that everyone you meet is thrown subtly off balance as their subconscious tries to figure out your gender. This will give you a psychological advantage.

You are a woman.

Man. Grab your balls. Yeah, the ones right between your legs. Feel them? Good. Give 'em a nice squeeze. You sufficiently acquainted with yourself? Fantastic. Punch the SHIT out of that red light, because that's what men do.

You are neither because I don't subscribe to your cis-gender agenda.

You are actually a robot!

You are the MANLIEST MAN.

You hate that people take the fact that you have a vagina to indicate otherwise.

You are a lady

Now undaze and punch that red thing

SpiffyCities 2012/10/13(Sat)23:44 No. 462738 ID: 0313a4
File 135019708390.png - (63.80KB , 770x608 , Schadenfreude2.png )

>>Your gender is an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in applewood-smoked bacon

Right, you honestly don't know what gender you are. Maybe you're a hermaphrodite. It's hard to tell when you don't have genitals.

Spiffycities, of course!

SpiffyCities 2012/10/13(Sat)23:49 No. 462745 ID: 0313a4
File 135019735467.png - (42.45KB , 770x608 , schadenfreude3.png )

>>Now go check out that annoying red light.

You press the red light.
Nothing happens.
You guess you'll just have to wait, then.
Well, what's your name?

Your name is Gingerbread.

If you can't press the light, can you pull it off of... whatever it's attached to?

How big is this box, anyway?

Your name is Punch Rockgroin.
Now are you going to let this stupid dark box contain you? Hell no! Break through the wall of that box with your fists of iron!

Your name is Slab Bulkhead and you run headfirst into that red light, just because

>>462749

I think you need to have hands in order to have fists.

Explore the box with your hands. Whisper sweet nothings to the box Feel for any seams or changes of the material the box is made of.
Wouldn't be surprised if you are being watched.

>>462754
That is the logic of wimps. Rockgroin here is, while gender confused, still capable of being a badass.

>>462746
+1 for delicious baked goods.

Bacon

+1 for BEEF SIDEIRON.

How about "Oren"?

SpiffyCities 2012/10/14(Sun)11:54 No. 462825 ID: 0313a4
File 135024087387.png - (78.57KB , 770x608 , Schadenfreude4.png )

>> Your name is Gingerbread

Yeah, that's it. Gingerbread.

>>Now are you going to let this stupid dark box contain you? Hell no! Break through the wall of that box with your fists of iron!

Luckily for this box, you're still feeling a bit weak. You don't have enough energy to break through the wall.
Too bad.

SpiffyCities 2012/10/14(Sun)11:55 No. 462826 ID: 0313a4
File 135024092740.png - (18.73KB , 770x608 , Schadenfreude5.png )

>>Explore the box with your hands. Feel for any seams or changes of the material the box is made of.
Wouldn't be surprised if you are being watched.

You feel along the wall for anything out of the ordinary.
You've found what you think is a button.

Well, we haven't found any other options. Might as well push it.

I do believe we have found Gingerbread's skill.
Press the button.

DON'T PRESS THE BUTTON

Press the button, repeatedly.

Rotate the button.

lick the button

SpiffyCities 2012/10/14(Sun)17:14 No. 463001 ID: 0313a4
File 135026005716.png - (23.02KB , 770x608 , Schadenfreude6.png )

>>lick the button

You decide to lick the button. It tastes a lot like Snookie's legs. And that is not a good thing.
Not much happens, so you decide to just press the button.

SpiffyCities 2012/10/14(Sun)17:14 No. 463002 ID: 0313a4
File 135026009865.png - (37.83KB , 770x608 , Schadenfreude7.png )

It looks like that did the trick.

Fuck Yeah!

Quick! Run out blindly without assessing your surroundings at all!

Who's Snookie? I thought you couldn't remember a thing.

Snookie is not a memory but an ideal, that of complete elemental sleeze.

Now, headbutt the great outdoors.

Execute protocol Delta Omega Seven: Punch the outdoors to assert dominance.

>>463021

Nono, headbutt outdoors to assert dominance. Or just out of sheer cantankerousness. You've been in a box! Let loose.

>>463080
Nah. Fuck the outdoors. Literally. Gotta work out your gender somehow, after all!

SpiffyCities 2012/10/14(Sun)23:10 No. 463149 ID: 0313a4
File 135028140475.png - (29.18KB , 770x608 , Schadenfreude9.png )

>>Quick! Run out blindly without assessing your surroundings at all!

Hells Yeah!

SpiffyCities 2012/10/14(Sun)23:11 No. 463150 ID: 0313a4
File 135028146196.png - (30.25KB , 770x570 , Schadenfreude11.png )

...Shit.

SpiffyCities 2012/10/14(Sun)23:11 No. 463152 ID: 0313a4
File 135028149722.png - (50.85KB , 770x570 , Schadenfreude10.png )

DEAR GOD.
YOU REGRET THIS DECISION IMMENSELY.

I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO no wait I didn't.

Ok, NOW is the time to assess your environment.
And then run screaming at the most dangerous looking part of it.

>>463152
Okay, now that you are sufficiently in pain, look around and see where you are.

>>463157
And have sex with it.

This would not have happened if you asserted yor dominance over the stairs.

Find more buttons and press them.

>>463170
With what?

Lick it suggestively.

>>463286
It, bro. With it.

Get up and take it like an it

>>463153
LOL
Okay now assess your surroundings.