Sure! First, we need you to schlick furiously.

clearly the only way to find the bad guys is to think like a bad guy and then ask yourself where you'd want to be. and then go there.

Bonkoro 2012/10/09(Tue)01:14 No. 461339 ID: 34cbef
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>>461336
[Bonkoro] I dunno man... that's like innapropriate. I don't like doing stuff that makes me look like a skaaank or something. Plus I don't really know you or anything, you could be some sort of creepy serial killer or something... and that'd be like totally bummer.

1/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/09(Tue)01:15 No. 461341 ID: 34cbef
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>>461337
[Bonkoro] OH MAN, YEAH! THAT IS A TOTALLY KILLER IDEA, why didn't i have it? Yeah, he's gotta be-

2/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/09(Tue)01:16 No. 461342 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] nobodies in here, totally bummer man. I totally believed the bad guy would be in my club house.

the bad guy is in the club house.. Your the bad guy! Dun Dun DUUUUN!
What a tweeest!

>>461342
that's where you're wrong. you imagined the bad guy would go to your club house, and right on schedule, the bad guy arrived at your club house. you can see them right there in the mirror on the 4th wall. but now that we've found the bad guy, you better be careful for when the good guy shows up to stop them. i mean you.

1/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/09(Tue)01:33 No. 461348 ID: 34cbef
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>>461343
[Bonkoro] OH heh heh, I get it. Yeah, being a good guy is so square these days! I'm gonna be BONKORO THE DESTRUCTION QUEEN, or... i dunno... destructorella? Yeah, i'll be the best bad guy ever, wait that doesn't sound right.

2/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/09(Tue)01:34 No. 461349 ID: 34cbef
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>>461345
[Bonkoro] YEAH-heh... wait... uh... I had it but i lost it... so what? Okay, I don't get it now. Am I the bad guy?

>>461349
yes.
it's time to start your reign of terror. remember to start small; steal candy from a baby, and then work your way up from there.

1/3 Bonkoro 2012/10/09(Tue)01:52 No. 461355 ID: 34cbef
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>>461350
[Bonkoro] SWEET, YEAH! Let's do this!

2/3 Bonkoro 2012/10/09(Tue)01:54 No. 461356 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] HAH, NOW I GOT YOUR SUCKER! What you going to do now? Cry like a widdle cry baby? NOW THE SUCKER IS ALL MINE!

3/3 Bonkoro 2012/10/09(Tue)01:55 No. 461357 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] yeah... cry... woah... calm down, it's just a sucker. I dunno guys, this seems kinda uncool now. What do i do?

show him the time of his life.~~

>>461357
Oh no! Guilt! your one weakness!
Give him the lolly back, point over his shoulder yelling "Look at that thing!"
then run like hell.

Kick her in the shins, mini-Deave.

>>461357
lick up those tears and use this babby's unhappiness to level up your evil-o-meter.

Kick her in the shin, be a man.

oh it's Simple. KILL,MAIM,RAVAGE!

Join him in crying.

1/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/10(Wed)16:07 No. 461724 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] I dunno guys, maybe i'll do that killing and maiming on older people cus i don't think they cry, here you go little guy.

2/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/10(Wed)16:08 No. 461725 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] I'm sor- OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

He's too dangerous! Run for your life!

What and lose the chance on gaining a henchman? Just convince him that he just pass the test on being your henchman by being so ballsy. I mean what kind of villain doesn't have a henchman or two.

Exact your revenge, mini Deave! You hunt this villain down like the proper hunter you are, subdue her, and then see if you can cash her in for a bounty. I don't care if you're too young to be licensed- anyone who literally steals candy from children must be on the wanted rosters somewhere.

if you can't even take candy from a babby, clearly you are not even the bad guy. you are the mook the hero beats up as filler.

Yeah your not really cut out for bad-guyhood are you..
Oh! maybe you could be a brooding anti hero! you do the right thing, but still they hate you, kicking you in the shins, literally and metaphorically.

>>461725
Oh c'mon, you're made for being the bad villain, kids kick you when you try to be nice to them, you go to club houses where only the most heinous scum would hang out on and your response to a kid crying was clearly to kill it, and then do the horrible things to the body. I say it again madame, you are an horribly,horribly evil being.

Bonkoro 2012/10/12(Fri)13:46 No. 462231 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] o-ow ow, okay you pass. Ow, little dude come on! y-you can be my super awesome henchman now... please untie me?

bunny:
rape the shit out of her.

Deave: attempt to bring in your prisoner for a bounty. If and when adults try to stop you, protest. Strenuously.

I'm wondering how he gonna carry her because he doesn't look like he has a lot of upper body strength or any strength really...

Sell her into slavery.

She tried to steal your sucker! You have to punish her so she wont ever do that again.

1/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/12(Fri)20:48 No. 462324 ID: 34cbef
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[Bunnygirl] Oh my god, he left my sight for only a second. Are you alright?

[Bonkoro] uh... well i'm fine, kid took my shirt off faster then my last boyfriend. What are you teaching him?

[Bunnygirl] Oh, i'm actually babysitting him.

[Bonkoro] wel... like he could be my number first henchman with that kinda skill.

[Bunnygirl] Actually we will have to play another time, he's gotta get home right now. You have a good night miss, and sorry about this.

2/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/12(Fri)20:49 No. 462326 ID: 34cbef
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[Bunnygirl] Also you look like a person who would need this.

[Bonkoro] what's this?

[Bunnygirl] It'll make you a stronger person. Later!

[Bonkoro] uh... bye? well what am i supposed to do now?

>____________

Church? That's boring.

What you should do is have a SPACE ADVENTURE. In space. Where there is a lot of adventure. The easiest way to do this is to sneak onboard a spaceship. If you do, there is an almost 100% chance that the ship will be attacked by pirates, or that it is secretly a pirate ship.

>>462326
well, the kid wrecked you, so maybe this place is legit. check out the church.

Wait is it one of those new wannabe cult like churches where they try to make you spiritually strong? Man that sounds dumb so forget that noise. What you have to do is go to the gym and get HUGE.

He's being babysit by a Devourer Devout? Guess it wasn't Deave then. ...unless that was one of the two we kidnapped.

Yeah check the church out. Seems legit.

Teach that pamphlet a thing or two about just how tough you are. Tear it to pieces with your teeth!

>>462350
Yeah teach that piece of paper who is the boss around here.

1/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/13(Sat)22:40 No. 462716 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro]YEAH, TEACH THAT PAPER WHO'S BOSS... while also keeping track of the address...

2/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/13(Sat)22:41 No. 462718 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] Huh, the place doesn't seem so bad. It's looks like a rented building in the center of town, fresh paint on the wall too... I think they just moved in or something. But, like, there's also this shifty looking guy in front of the building just standing there.

Oh hey, it's Plipper, pining for his Devourerette-ex. Go talk to him.

Tell him he looks like he enjoys plipping.

He's not only shifty, but he's also available~

>>462718

walk in, look around, ignore the shifty guy. if a kid can take you down, a shifty guy can probably take you down-er-er... er?

He looks like a prostitute. Ask him if he's a prostitute and if the building is full of prostitutes and if they are trying to trick you into becoming a prostitute.

1/3 Bonkoro 2012/10/15(Mon)21:09 No. 463395 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] dude, you look like you are having fun just pipping about.

[Froggy] uh... i'm busy.

[Bonkoro] Are you a prostitute?

[Froggy] huh? n-no

[Bonkoro] I'm no cop or anything, i mean i got some money. You could come over to my club house and we could do... you know~

[Froggy] wha- NO, i'm just... man nevermind, i might aswell try a different time.

2/3 Bonkoro 2012/10/15(Mon)21:12 No. 463397 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] ...aw maaaan, he left...

3/3 Bonkoro 2012/10/15(Mon)21:27 No. 463399 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] uh, is anybody in here

[Mouschika] huh? oh, you coming for the church?

[Bonkoro] yeah, some green bunny person gave me a flier. Is this like some sort of prostitution place? There was this guy outside.

[Mouschika] Ohhhhh, yeah just ignore him. It's no whore house, but that guy always comes here to bother ruby.

[Bonkoro] so... what does this place do?

[Mouschika] eh, we do things... today we get to show off our crafts we made for the devourer.

[Bonkoro] that sounds neat, are there other people here?

[Mouschika] w-well... their in the kitchen right now... getting communion ready... if you want to wait they'll be out...

[Bonkoro] mkay

[Mouschika] sooo, what's your name?

[Bonkoro] I AM BONKORO THE INVINCIBLE!

[mouschika] cool cool, so what is your... issues?

Man, first taking candy from children, and now soliciting? Bonkoro, you bad girl you.

>what is your... issues?
Hey! How come you assume I automatically have issues! (Well, you totally do, of course, but it's rude of her to jump to that assumption).

Also, she alright there? She seems sort of uncomfortable. Is something wrong?

"issues? i just wanted to see wtf is up

>>463399
horrendously incompetent at combat... and talking to people... and picking up tiny prostitute men.

but the lady said you guys could make me stronger. how do i get to make with the kicking chumps?

She's asking if you're good at crafts. Make her the best paper snowflake to show her your skills.

chirps 2012/10/17(Wed)16:59 No. 464137 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] Issues? Like... well, what does issues have to do with anything, i just wanted to see what this place was about...

[Mouschika] oh s-sorry...

[Cowgirl] OH MY GOD, is this a new person? Hiya new girl, my name is becky-sue and it looks like you met fidget- are you joining the church? Man ruby would be super happy if you were!

[Bonkoro] Well, i dunno... why are you in your undies-N-NOT SAYING IT'S A BAD THING OR NUTHIN! My... my name is bonkoro...

[Becky-su] Well I'm surprised you two aren't! Don't worry, we're just going to do our usual thing. If you don't mind ruby sent me out here to get the blanket set out, we can chat and stuff if you and fidget wanna help. Also, not to pry or anything bonkoro, but have you ever had sex before?

>Also, not to pry or anything bonkoro, but have you ever had sex before?
Uh-oh, they're either some kind of crazy sex cult, or some kind of crazy anti-sex cult! Careful Bonkoro, the wrong answer could get you killed! But which one is wrong? Which one?!

>>464137
the only appropriate answer is "i'm 12 and what is this"

Suddenly you are 12 and what is this.

I'm pretty sure she IS 12.

And what the hell is this.

Bonkoro 2012/10/17(Wed)21:33 No. 464211 ID: 34cbef
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>>464140
>>464149
>>464203

Hah, come on guys- I'm so not twelve. I mean i'm short for my age, but i'm only a foot shorter then what other girls at nineteen should be. Like wow guys.

[Becky-su] Who are you talking to new girl?

[Fidget] that's cute, no wonder why your here. You're mentally divergent like I am.

>>464211
this is a game of chicken, don't back down or you'll be proven to be the coward. keep it up!

im still realing from the fackt someone hired one of these maniacs to look after their kid..
my vote is to run like hell, trust me you do not want to get involved with these people..

>>464290
I gotta agree, theres evil and there is evil. This is one kind of evil you don't want to touch.

normally listning to the voices in your head is a bad idea, but trust us, the thing these people worship is a monstrusly foul creature, born from a rapist canible.
RUN

1/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/19(Fri)14:56 No. 464506 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] LATER CRAZY SEX GYPSIES!

2/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/19(Fri)14:57 No. 464507 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] Now what do i do, and it's getting dark out...

I guess it would be time to return to your evil lair. We can get back to senseless destruction in the morning. After all evil queens need their beauty sleep.

head home and make a list of were you went wrong today, so that you may learn from your mistakes and grow.

Aw! I wanted to see more culty action. I'm sure they weren't that dangerous, or looking for victims for their murder-rape-orgy.

> make a list of were you went wrong today
...so you want her to basically write a transcript of the entire thread? XD

we know you may not be satisfied with the events that occurred today, but dont worry, were just getting settled in.
make sure all your doors and windows are locked then go to sleep, let us see what forms we can mould your sleeping mind into. personally im leaning toward hero, you showed guilt and regret over harming the innocent child, and headed to our warnings of evil. this is good, we can use this.

but before we do anything we must ask, while our intentions are good, they can lead to the most horrible of outcomes, are you willing to risk such events?

2/2 Bonkoro 2012/10/20(Sat)18:54 No. 464862 ID: 34cbef
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[Bonkoro] I'm thinking about becoming a superhero.

[Phillip] Well that's cool and all, but did you find a job?

[Bonkoro] ooooohhhhh, was that what i was supposed to do today?

[Phillip] You can't live in the clubhouse in my backyard forever you know. How bout tomorrow I help you out?

[Bonkoro] Do superheros make money?

take the knot

They make less money than super VILLAINS

Hey, Philip! Man, you get around.

>Do superheros make money?
Generally... not. It's the reason the day job is a recurring problem in the superhero genre, and why being a rich playboy is such an attractive solution. Really, it's one reason so many people with powers turns to crime (not... that super villainy is very profitably either. Really, how the hell do the bad guys continue to fund their schemes when they always lose?).

Get a good publicist and do moderately well you can sell shirts, action figures etc.

Have you considered being a space-faring bounty hunter in a wicked suit of disguising powered armor?

Yanno, like in the video games.