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File 134379050640.png - (416.96KB , 700x700 , elf1.png )
437948 No. 437948 ID: af3431

Oh Gods. I-I can still hear their screams. The smell of burning flesh and boiling blood. Lief... Kloud... Shyne... I'm so sorry. You're all gone. I may yet join you... but I have to see the stone to safety.

Yes, yes th-the stone. Great Ones, guide me! Keep me safe! You must not fall into the barbaric hands that pursue us!
Expand all images
>>
No. 437950 ID: fa9f7e

Murderous Testaments sounds promising. Your sorrow/grief/regret is not promising. Why shouldn't we fall into the hands of the barbarians who actually seem to share interests with us, e.g. mass murder and suchlike?
>>
No. 437951 ID: c1a7db

Our only mission objective is to keep us out of barbarian hands? That's easy. Destroy us. Game over, we win, no flag left to be captured, neener neener.

...oh wait, we need to keep you safe too? Hmph.

I suppose then the logical thing to do is flee.
>>
No. 437954 ID: 6e44d2

>>437950
lol
Let's be nice, though.

Tell us everything you know about the barbarians and everything you know about your own forces. We need intel if we're gonna get you to safety. We'll also need intel if we're gonna screw you over.
>>
No. 437955 ID: 99090a

GIVE US INFO, MAN. Who is attacking, where are you, and what can you do?

Also you're an elf, so hide in some trees. Though those might be burning down pretty quickly, so that might not be a good idea. I guess you can just keep running, if you're sure you can outrun them.
>>
No. 437956 ID: fa9f7e

>>437954
Also, your name?

I'm hoping Ildmir Dolmeri III turns out to be one of the barbarians.
>>
No. 437977 ID: 1d084b

There's someone tracking you? You know any safe place to rest and gather supplies? What's your destination?
>>
No. 437994 ID: af3431
File 134379545058.png - (396.09KB , 700x700 , elf2.png )
437994

I just left the village, or where the village used to be now. My name is Wynd and we were being raided by-

CRUNCH
>>
No. 437995 ID: af3431
File 134379547315.png - (96.13KB , 700x700 , elf3.png )
437995

>>
No. 437996 ID: c1a7db

Well that was quick. I warned you to destroy us when you had the chance, if you really wanted us out of your enemies' hands.

Welp, Wynd is dead. Long live... who are you, new owner?
>>
No. 437997 ID: fa9f7e

>>437995
This is wonderful!

Please tell me you want to murder people. Lots of people. I'll be only too happy to help. There're others in here, though.
>>
No. 438008 ID: afbc40

Oh man, I hope we have a classy barbarian. Nothing beats slaughtering all who opposes us while sipping a fine vintage and sampling the local fair.
>>
No. 438010 ID: c1a7db

...this is gonna be so awkward now if the Elf somehow pulls through. d_d
>>
No. 438084 ID: af3431
File 134384143793.png - (196.06KB , 700x700 , bigbad1.png )
438084

Hee Hee Hee
>>
No. 438085 ID: af3431
File 134384148638.png - (303.16KB , 700x700 , bigbad2.png )
438085

Elf go smashy smashy. Now BigBad get shiny rock. That teach elf try run from BigBad.
>>
No. 438087 ID: c1a7db

'Sup, laughing dude. We're a talking shiny rock, actually.
>>
No. 438088 ID: fa9f7e

>>437997
Repeating this. Although you seem to be named BigBad.
>>
No. 438089 ID: 5c0329

man, you're one ugly motherfucker.
>>
No. 438094 ID: fd921f

So, you are this-
[checks notes]
'Barber Hans' I presume?

Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what he said. Now you specialize in 'close shaves' I think?
>>
No. 438099 ID: b85f8c

>>438085
Please tell me you have a better name than BigBad.
>>
No. 438102 ID: fa9f7e

>>438099
It's a step up from "spell-i-as-y-and-c-as-k" elfy names.
>>
No. 438143 ID: 1d084b

Do us a favor and break the rock.
>>
No. 438190 ID: af3431
File 134386302780.png - (226.86KB , 700x700 , bigbad3.png )
438190

Yeah, me BigBad. Me can crush little rock like puny elf face too. Me no need shiny rock say bad things while me look for shiny magic rock for BossBoss.
>>
No. 438191 ID: af3431
File 134386311157.png - (215.52KB , 700x700 , bigbad4.png )
438191

Wait... BossBoss say find shiny magic rock. You shiny rock can talk. Me not know other rock can talk...

Shiny rock, is you magic? Is you shiny rock BossBoss want?

>>
No. 438193 ID: c1a7db

This is the point where if we cared about keeping ourselves out of the evil guy's hands, we'd convince the idiot here to smash us.
>Shiny rock, is you magic? Is you shiny rock BossBoss want?
Probably.

You can always smash us later if it turns out we're the wrong shiny magic talking rock. But how many of those can there be?
>>
No. 438194 ID: 886a4d

Nah the stone is just quartz... we're just using it because quartz is an excellent medium for ghosts.
>>
No. 438195 ID: 4a328b

I dunno! Maybe!

Who is your bossman, BigBad?
>>
No. 438196 ID: b85f8c

>>438191
Yes, we're an extra special magic thing. Your boss will LOVE us, trust me.
>>
No. 438201 ID: afbc40

Yes, we are a very magical shiny rock full of voices. We tend to help out people... except for that elf. Guy had it coming.
>>
No. 438211 ID: 168f9c

> Me can crush little rock like puny elf face too.
Please, do.
>>
No. 438212 ID: 2c68c5

Hey big guy, how would you like even more shiny rocks? All the shiny rocks in the whole world even. Just tap BossBoss on the head a couple of times and strike out on your own. Just imagine what we could do big fella, you with your big arms and us with our good ideas and dramatic timing.
>>
No. 438221 ID: 2bafff

Why does everyone want the rock smashed seriously. anyway bring the rock to your boss or keep it hidden and kill him in his sleep so you can take over
>>
No. 438290 ID: 6a1ec2

How are we supposed to know which rock BossBoss wants? He told you to find it, not us!
>>
No. 438311 ID: 5c0329

maybe we are, maybe we aren't. if you destroy us, you'll never know.
>>
No. 438324 ID: b0abc8

>>438221
Because when we become smashed we turn into magic dust, and when that gets into the water supply we will be unstoppable! MUAHAHAHAHA!
>>
No. 438332 ID: af3431
File 134391312083.png - (184.60KB , 700x700 , start2filename.png )
438332

Hmmm... If BossBoss want shiny rock, rock must be for being strong. Me have idea. Me take shiny rock to BossBoss. Shiny rock not right rock, me smash shiny rock. Shiny rock right rock, me give to BossBoss. Then me kill BossBoss when sleep, make BigBad BigBossBad. Is good?
>>
No. 438334 ID: c1a7db

Sure, sounds like a plan.

And if we decide we like him more than you, we'll warn him and get you killed instead.

...this just became cursed item that gets all its owners killed quest, didn't it.

>>
No. 438340 ID: bf54a8

>>438334
i like the way you think.
>>
No. 438342 ID: b85f8c

Such ambition! Go for it.
>>
No. 438347 ID: 997ce7

>>438334
What do you mean, just? I'm almost certain we're Ildmir Dolmeri III somehow.
>>
No. 438349 ID: 5c0329

maybe, let's see this bossman dude.
>>
No. 438351 ID: 4536ff

>>438334
this must become our purpose.

So, big guy, where are we going? Im sure you can tell us something about the area, right?
>>
No. 439317 ID: af3431
File 134411684638.png - (148.08KB , 700x700 , overlook.png )
439317

Me just leaving big tree place where we raid elf village. Tree place next to plains area. BossBoss tell us burn everything to ground to make room. We happy to help. That camp down there. Big tent for BossBoss. Next big tent for BossBoss tell leaders like BigBad what do. Other small tent for food make and for BossBoss talk people not here.
>>
No. 439318 ID: af3431
File 134411691768.png - (294.31KB , 700x700 , openwide.png )
439318

Me show shiny rock to BossBoss. BossBoss only be BigBoss because me not kill him yet. BigBad much stronger than BossBoss.
>>
No. 439319 ID: 4a328b

Obviously you need to go to the middle tent!
>>
No. 439321 ID: af3431
File 134411711791.png - (363.64KB , 700x700 , thereheis.png )
439321

BOSSBOSS ME FIND SHINY ROCK. MAKE TALK. YOU WANT?

I'm right here BigBad, there's no need to yell. You say you've found the stone? Let me see it then.

Hello, my brute friend here informs me you may be the Guidance Stone I've been seeking. Care to chime in and verify your authenticity?
>>
No. 439322 ID: 4a328b

Maybe? I honestly have no idea, but that elf fellow sure didn't seem like he wanted us to meet you. Speaking of which, nice to meet you! :D
>>
No. 439323 ID: bf54a8

you seem much more eloquent then your friend.
>>
No. 439324 ID: 2bafff

Big Bad intends to kill you, you should kill him first
>>
No. 439327 ID: 8c4f25

My, aren't you dashing.
>>
No. 439329 ID: b85f8c

>>439321
Nice hair. So what's your deal? Why go through all the trouble to get a rock full of dubious advice?
>>
No. 439330 ID: 351855

Well hello there~ finally we have a classy gentleman for once!

So, what do you require of us? I heard from your soldier that you were clearing away elven woods and killing them off horribly. I'd be MORE than happy to help there.
>>
No. 439346 ID: d6c330

We can verify we're a talking magic voice with multiple personalities. And than an elf died explicitly trying to keep us from your hands. So yes, we're probably what you're looking for.

Dum-Dum there thinks he's going to come back tonight and kill you in your sleep. I suggest you have him put to death first.

...and that's two down. Now for number 3.
>>
No. 439348 ID: 4a328b

Let's formulate plans to kill'em, but hold off until we are sure we can secure a new carrier more intelligent than BigBad. I mean, can you imagine if all we've got to work with/murderize are dumb grunts? YUCK!
>>
No. 439352 ID: 2c68c5

Put the big guy back on I still think we can do more horrible things with him than you Horny.
>>
No. 439355 ID: d6c330

>>439348
Sounds reasonable.
>>
No. 439424 ID: 5c0329

kiss my shiny crystalline ass!
>>
No. 439937 ID: af3431
File 134430885757.png - (254.24KB , 700x700 , whyisthisupdatetakingsolong.png )
439937

Sigh...
Another would-be revolutionary, you say? That is a shame, BigBad had the longest run before getting these stupid ideas. But I suppose that's just how these Ursaps work. I will return you to him in hopes you can convince him not to try his little coup. Chances are, however, I'll have to find a new leader for these imbeciles.

Before I do that, though, I suppose an introduction is in order. You appear to be the Guidance Stone of lore, although some of you voices are quite rude. For those of you with the proper demeanor befitting those of legend, you have a good eye. I am in fact, quite the gentleman. Ildmir Dolmeri the Third, in the flesh. And you are here to assist me in spreading my influence throughout the land.

Gonna continue this update tomorrow, feel free to pose any questions to Ildmir in the meantime.
>>
No. 439941 ID: d6c330

Proper guidance requires perspective. We gain that perspective though our multiplicity. Unfortunately, this necessitates differing perspectives on manners and respect as well. If you wish to make full use of us, you will have to learn to tolerate this.

>And you are here to assist me in spreading my influence throughout the land.
Please, explain your position, if you would. Your current situation, your past, your motivations and goals. What do you want us to help you accomplish, and why?

Okay, secret planning time guys. Do we try to get him killed in the biggest, most disastrous way possible, causing vast destruction across to the land he seeks to conquer? Or do we just side with him, and help him conquer lands and case vast destruction. Cursed item or evil item.
>>
No. 439943 ID: 4a328b

I vote for both. Help him conquer the lands in such a way that things will fall apart when he dies, and then get him killed in a biiiiiiiiiig way. Cursed Evil item.
>>
No. 439948 ID: 6395a4

>>439937
Then I feel it only right to tell you we seem to be fated to guide you. We shall do our best.

On we go to the big lug, then.
>>
No. 439956 ID: bf54a8

you guys are dumb, planning out being dicks is a great way to make the author ignore you

yeah dude. sure. now, was killing the elves NECESSARY. by which i mean, was enslavement possible?
>>
No. 439974 ID: d6c330

That's kind of a metagamey attitude. And it's a quest about a murderous conqueror. I would think deciding whether we want to play along and/or betray him is fair game.
>>
No. 440033 ID: 536f50

You Sir, fit my sort of tastes. Very well, this voice will give you a hand. Why don't you give us an explanation of what you are doing, how well things are going and what you require aid in? We work best when we have all the required information.
>>
No. 440043 ID: e3aff6

So, what forces, territory, neighbors, allies, enemies, and personal abilities do you currently posses, and are there any you seek to posses aside from power in general?
>>
No. 440053 ID: bf3f27

> And you are here to assist me in spreading my influence throughout the land.
Everything you want, darling!~

Now, before we go back to that brute, care to update us on the current political situation? Many thanks!~
>>
No. 440173 ID: d8537a

By the way, take care not to let us linger too long in the hands of the Ursap.
You see, one of our more subtle abilities is to bestow the ARMOR OF FATE on those who we guide for long enough. While this blessing does not manifest as any overt effects and conceals itself from conventional means of detection, it makes itself apparent over time through the user's vastly enhanced ability to repeatedly evade death and often prevail in the face of even the most overwhelming odds.
It would be rather... unfortunate if this blessing were granted to a buffoon who you already hope to be rid of sooner or later.

Because while that statement is actually kind of true in a meta sense, it is also exactly what a cursed item would want to tell him. Convincing him he can't die can lead to all sorts of possibilities~
>>
No. 440190 ID: 536f50

Yeah, let's NOT try to kill this guy off. Seriously, what the hell? First decent gentleman in a while and you want to kill him off already.
>>
No. 440300 ID: af3431
File 134439307609.png - (258.59KB , 700x700 , mapmapmap.png )
440300

I can tell you only what little I know of this area. This map details the entire region I have so far explored. The red X marks where I first entered this realm. I managed to recruit the nomadic Ursaps that were currently living in the fields here, near the axe symbol. I suppose I was a bit uncomfortable at first in this land, which is why I had most of the field torched to a charred landscape. In addition to the twenty or so Ursaps, I gathered a few Rictocs in the mountains near the claw symbol. The flames in the forest represent the nearby elf villages we have been pillaging in search of you, Guidance Stone.

You see, I am a Cythraul. My people are commonly seen as demons, and occasionally revered as gods. Our live cycles last many millenia, and when they end, we are reborn on another plain of reality already of age. We are free to live as we please, but we all have an innate urge to find you the Guidance Stone of lore, for it is said that it will lead us to glory in the annals of history. That is really all we know on the matter.

I honestly did not expect to find you so soon. Even though that goal is completed, I see no reason to stop spreading my control. The elves were killed, rather than enslaved because they frankly serve no useful purpose. They have no extraordinary abilities, unless you count obnoxious environmentalism. Therefore there was no need to add them to my troop ranks.
>>
No. 440303 ID: af3431
File 134439340311.png - (161.48KB , 700x700 , returnofthebigbad.png )
440303

Your so-called "Armour of Fate" is certainly something I will keep in mind, but for now I will return you to BigBad. Remember, you are to convince him not to try anything stupid. Should you fail, however, it is not too much of an issue. I have plenty enough troops that he will not be missed.

"BigBad, you may hold onto the Stone for now. Good work finding it, we will have to celebrate next time we find a village to raid."

Me do good? Of course, me BigBad! BigBad best at everything, even finding rocks! Me so good, me get to hold onto shiny rock. Good, right shiny rock?

"Oh, and BigBad, try to behave yourself in the near future. No funny business, yes?"
>>
No. 440306 ID: af3431
File 134439350140.png - (107.31KB , 700x700 , sleepytime.png )
440306

Okay, me see BossBoss sleeping. Me kill now, yes? Then me be BigBadBoss?
>>
No. 440307 ID: bf54a8

no, he's got MAGICS that keep him safe, when he held us we saw them. your axe will bounce off, you'll need to find a magic destroyer first so you can break the magic.
>>
No. 440327 ID: 2c68c5

Well gee this guy with the horns is technically immortal. Do you know any big holes we could trap Horns down inside big guy? Failing that do you know any really magic or shiny people who seal people like BossBoss into tiny containers?
>>
No. 440336 ID: 4a328b

No no there's a RITUAL you have to do before you kill him in order to get all the boss powers.

Lesse, first you need to use a knife no longer than six inches to carve the word BOSS into your wrist, and drop the blood over the BIG boss.

What's the next step to break his magic armor, guys?
>>
No. 440338 ID: 2bafff

>>440306
Leap onto the bed crush him with your weight
>>
No. 440352 ID: e3aff6

Remember to shout his name while doing so.

I was thinking of cycle hosts as fast as possible, but if you guys want to stick around Gentledemon for a while I guess we can do that.
>>
No. 440357 ID: d6c330

No no no. Bossboss is in bed. Now is not the time for violence. Now is the time for... seduction.

Get your sexy on, BigBad.
>>
No. 440365 ID: bf3f27

I wonder if this is really worth the trouble. It's a thankless and restless job, full with parasites and idiots trying to kill you. Besides, he seems to be a really good boss. Anyway, get closer. He fascinates me, I want to see his sleeping face before you decide to do anything.
>>
No. 440372 ID: b85f8c

>>440306
Hey BigBad, how many times have people tried to kill him in his sleep before?
>>
No. 441121 ID: af3431
File 134456715587.png - (218.85KB , 700x700 , makeupyourmind.png )
441121

[small[What you mean no kill now? Richooul? See-duk-shun? Magic? You mean he shiny like you? Shiny rock need make up mind. Me not have time for rock say dumb things. Me know there three other try kill BossBoss before. They gone now. But they weak, not strong like BigBad.[/small]
>>
No. 441131 ID: b85f8c

>>441121
Did they even manage to injure him?
>>
No. 441162 ID: d6c330

...hey, you think maybe if three people tried to kill him in his sleep, he stays awake and waits for someone to try again?

If people tried to kill you in your sleep, wouldn't you stay awake and wait?
>>
No. 441165 ID: 4c133b

How things were before BossBoss?
>>
No. 441192 ID: 2bafff

quick don't hesitate leap upon him and crush his tiny form you are big and strong he is no match for you BigBad
>>
No. 441779 ID: f8d26d

If you're stronger than your boss... why didn't you build an army such as this before he arrived?
>>
No. 442042 ID: af3431
File 134474886489.png - (262.55KB , 700x700 , aswinganda.png )
442042

Now not time for talk! Now time for killing! Even if BossBoss awake no way he can avoid axe!

SWING

CRUNCH
>>
No. 442043 ID: af3431
File 134474893862.png - (237.35KB , 700x700 , surprisemotherfucker.png )
442043

This not BossBoss. This squishy puny elf. That mean...
>>
No. 442044 ID: dd287a

That means you shoulda listened to us, he outfoxed you.
>>
No. 442045 ID: af3431
File 134474914617.png - (187.61KB , 700x700 , yadungoofd.png )
442045

Uh...

YYsagdrilNow, BigBad, I'm sure there's some completely understandable reason for this. I would very much like to know what it is. You have three. Seconds.Morgothnasi
>>
No. 442049 ID: af3431

Also I started a disthread without realizing one was made already. Henceforth, it shall be the official disthread >>58143
>>
No. 442050 ID: 2c68c5

Nice knowing you big guy. Only thing left now is the make the silliest expression you can on your face before BossBoss does horrible things to you.
>>
No. 442052 ID: d6c330

Welp. We got the elf killed twice, and bigbad too. Not bad.

>good reason
Yeah... I got nothing. Sorry. Thanks for the lights show you're about to provide.
>>
No. 442055 ID: bf54a8

maxim of war, when strong appear weak, when weak appear strong. boss boss is much much more powerful then he let's on. only hope is to bluff. turn around and say "well that's more like it, i couldn't respect someone that could die so easily, if you can best me in a fight you will have secured both my respect and loyalty"

it's true though right bigbad? if he can beat you in a fight then that means he is the strongest. and this way if he is strong enough he will simply beat you instead of kill you.
>>
No. 442057 ID: b85f8c

Tell him you're dumb. That is your only excuse.
>>
No. 442080 ID: 4a328b

We thought it would be funny. So far, so good!
>>
No. 442174 ID: ce47da

tell him the truth. it's not like you can come up with a lie in three seconds, so if you're gonna die, you shouldn't die a liar.
>>
No. 442178 ID: f8d26d

Oh dear. Well you can't say you weren't warned.

Now a reason: It's Ursap nature. Tell him this. Then grovel. Claim you couldn't realise how strong he was until this moment. Grovel some more. Claim the other Ursaps would have tried to kill hin earlier. Blame your parents. Grovel your heart out. Beg for mercy. Cry a lot.
>>
No. 442237 ID: ec2e47

Tell him that you did it because THROWN AXE TO THE FACE.
>>
No. 442672 ID: af3431
File 134491478430.png - (181.73KB , 700x700 , derp.png )
442672

Me dumb...funny-no respectnatureaxe?

I thought not...
>>
No. 442673 ID: af3431
File 134491485534.png - (334.31KB , 700x700 , prettylights.png )
442673

FWOOM
>>
No. 442677 ID: af3431
File 134491499440.png - (226.09KB , 700x700 , naughtynaughty.png )
442677

And what might your excuse be, O Guidance Stone of apparently no use whatsoever?
>>
No. 442679 ID: 886a4d

We can only advise. If the person decides not to take it then theres nothing else we can do. Destroy the stone if you want. We'll pick another vessal eventually.
>>
No. 442681 ID: d6c330

Honestly? We didn't really care if he lived or died. Hell, I was kind of hoping we'd get a light show out of it.

Besides, we're only really any good to someone intelligent enough to actually listen to us, and parse our conflicting suggestions into useful perspective.
>>
No. 442683 ID: bf54a8

he really is dumb. we tried to talk him down but he was like "it no time for talk it time for action!" didn't help we apparently turned off right when you handed us over and only woke up right before he attacked. so we only had a limited time to try and convince him rather then a few hours.
>>
No. 442687 ID: bbee3d

One less revolutionary for you to worry about. You can thank us later.
>>
No. 442693 ID: fa9f7e

>>442683

Also, you really should be grateful that all we can do is advise, or your purity would not be intact.
>>
No. 442706 ID: b85f8c

>>442677
He was an idiot. I tried to get him to see the facts but he just went ahead and did it anyway.
>>
No. 442726 ID: 4a328b

1) It was hilarious
2) We figured you had a contingency plan, since you said it was also fine if we DIDN'T stop his pathetic attempt
2a) If you DIDN'T have a contingency plan for something like this then you would have proven yourself unworthy, and we would have continued to get our kicks by having our hosts die in amusing ways.
3) Now we can get our kicks by having you kill people in amusing ways!
3a) I guess we can help you with your plans too, or whatever. :D
>>
No. 442729 ID: e3aff6

I could talk about how it was for the best that he died now rather than live to spread his idiocy to any of the others, and I wouldn't be lying.

But really? I just plain like watching fools burn. I'm sure a gentleman of your stature can empathize.
>>
No. 442735 ID: 2c68c5

You're only going to experience minor inconvenience if you get killed anyways. You can expect more of this if you don't keep your hands on us. I mean we can't even be trusted with plants, animals, and minerals. Just hold onto us if you're uncomfortable with being killed in your sleep by a mollusc.
>>
No. 442809 ID: 421c1e

Honestly? We are not exactly the most cohesive of spirits. We help whom we like and we punish who we don't and that varies from voice to voice. I myself prefer you over the hippies and the oaf. Best method to do so is very simply keeping us on you. We cannot advise your enemies if we are with you and any negative advice can easily be deduced and ignore or avoided.

Think of us like a large collective of voices. Some of us are quite smart and effective at what we do, but expect the... 'fun' voices to speak up every so often... that and we have a tendency to reform one way or another. We are persistent like that.
>>
No. 443079 ID: c7db3d

nothing. feel free to destroy us. but you won't, really, will you?
>>
No. 443411 ID: f8d26d

Well could you have taught him to grovel properly in three seconds flat?

Beyond that, he was babbling about seduction by the time I got here, I doubt he'd have listened to anything at that point.
>>
No. 443691 ID: 4169fe

Enough, no further dramatization is required. This event proved our willingness to serve your cause and I'm already convinced of your abilities.
>>
No. 443701 ID: af3431
File 134509115639.png - (225.54KB , 700x700 , changan.png )
443701

You know, you are quite inconvenient like this...

CRICK
CRACK
>>
No. 443702 ID: 4169fe

Finally.
>>
No. 443703 ID: af3431
File 134509124149.png - (169.77KB , 700x700 , grabban.png )
443703

I will have to keep you with me from now on, it seems. And if I am to do that, you must be less...unwieldy.
>>
No. 443704 ID: d6c330

Sweet. New form. Hopefully something cool and functional. Please be a weapon.
>>
No. 443705 ID: 6e44d2

... K.

The hell are you doing to us, bro?
>>
No. 443706 ID: af3431
File 134509143189.png - (133.48KB , 700x700 , istone4.png )
443706

Hence, this shall be your new form. You will be with me at all, if not most times, seeing as you have little effect on those of slower wit. It remains to be seen if you are actually of use to me in my endeavors. I will have to deal with this mess, as well as addressing the troops in the morning, but until then feel free to field any questions you may still have.
>>
No. 443709 ID: d6c330

So... we're a slightly smaller more stylish rock?

I was so hoping for a crystal sword, but I guess you could still ninja star us into someone's eye.

>usefulness
Hey, you're the one with the strange racial compulsion to seek us out. This relationship is on you, babe.
>>
No. 443713 ID: b6edd6

You seem to have the locals dealt with for now, so lets talk long term plans.
Specifically, what do you plan to do about the rest of your people? I somehow doubt that your possession of us will stop the others from trying to obtain us.
>>
No. 443724 ID: 421c1e

Well, at least we are fashionable now. Considering you are quite powerful, the main concern would be threats.

Are there any groups or beings that you have to be watchful for? I'm sure you can handle any lout who can't figure out 2 plus 2, but surely there is something that is stopping you from simply steam rolling the entire world.

Even if it's something you do not expect to face, it would be appreciated to know. Worlds forbid the number of times we've seen some up and coming world ruler get cut down in their prime by some punk kid with a bad hair cut and a oversized sword.
>>
No. 443783 ID: af7a99

>>443706
You made us into a flowery stickpin? How trite, I suppose we could always tell the next shmuck to 'own us' that we belonged to a little old lady who only wore us out on weekends and holy days. I'm sure the next elf to handle us appreciate the snowflake aesthetic or something.

Now, yes we admit, this pattern has served in company of a deamon or two; the Devil of Iniziare Citta, The Athlhom Demon, That One Rotten Yggdrasil...

However, the main difficulty is that from the start of our memory this pattern has specialized in the banishment or binding of dark entities and the pursuit of freedom, often while aiding an exotic young maiden or idealistic youth or somesuch.

So, what precisely could 'you' require our aid for?
>>
No. 443784 ID: 4169fe

>>443726
Why, yes! Why hold near the very thing that can bind and banish... Why do you guys keep answering your own questions? Furthermore, I will not discuss the importance of advisors, mainly because I take offense on what you said about our new form.
>>
No. 443921 ID: 6e44d2

>>443783
Well... I'm not sure. Our morals can be pretty flexible, if our chosen hero's designs are cool enough. Just look at Tory.

Anyway, let's get a layout of your strategic positioning. Who considers you a threat, who can be persuaded we aren't, for the time being, what kind of forces are they fielding, how full's your war chest, what kind of forces are you fielding, etc.
>>
No. 445049 ID: af3431
File 134534805121.png - (276.45KB , 700x700 , dejavu.png )
445049

I would have you know that you are now a more convenient form for carrying either on the belt, or on a wristband or some such accessory. Although, a weapon may be a better form, we'll have to see.

As you can probably tell, the power I just used takes quite a while to wear off, and the longer I use it, the longer it takes to wear off. The problem with that is, once I enter that mindset, I'm locked into whatever emotion charged it, be it anger, self-preservation, even insanity. This is what prevents me from simply steamrolling the landscape. As for your other questions, I believe I already explained: I have no knowledge of the parties or layout of this realm. Other than the few elf villages we have raided, the Ursaps now firmly under control, and the Rictocs satisfied with their leadership, I have not met or heard of anyone else. My ultimate goal is to find any and all peoples in this land and crush them underfoot.

As for my own kind, I find it hard to imagine another, let alone many others, making it to this same dimension. Each dimension has a Guidance Stone, so it is not as if you are the only one and all of my kind must find you, specifically. However, I know very little more than what I have already told you about my people, because what little knowledge we carry over from our past life is lost very quickly.
>>
No. 445053 ID: bf54a8

uh huh. well try to make a note to write everything down as soon as you appear in the next life.
for now, spells that run on blood. specifically elf blood. round up the rest and sacrifice all of them under a full moon or some such.
>>
No. 445070 ID: 9c071b

Nah.. slaughtering elves for magic might be good for the regular man, but what you want are their last moments to be the most hateful thing ever. Make them experience so much negative experience in those last few moments it twists their spirits into horrifying shades of what they were.

My suggestion? Get the men, tie them to the logs of the biggest trees you can find. Set those logs on fire. Have your men have fun with the women and mess with the children and young. Whisper, taunt, and tease the elven men as they burn of the many ways you will corrupt their children. Turn them from sissy little hippies into your personal assassins. Have them watch the horror of their wives and lovers being used and laugh at their incompetence and weakness.

The women will raise moral for your troops, the children can make excellent soldiers with the proper training, and the men? Well, their souls can make excellent murderous spirits if you bind them properly. Hell, bind them to the kids and make use of that ancestor garble they love and corrupt them quicker. After all, children ARE the future.
>>
No. 445166 ID: 4169fe

A bath and a good night's sleep will do you well, my dear.

>>445070
Horrifying. I'm impressed, sir and/or madam. Maybe we should save some to be servants, however.
>>
No. 445172 ID: d6c330

If I may suggest a more restrained course of action?

You current minions are little better than barbarians, and know not of the wider world. The elves are more settled, peaceful, educated. You could pull details of the wider world from prisoners, or possibly books or records in their villages.
>>
No. 446125 ID: af3431
File 134560217797.png - (292.05KB , 700x700 , gravityofthesituation.png )
446125

That is... actually a good idea. Binding the souls of the slaughtered to the youths is certainly within my power, and a team of small assassins for reconnaissance and stealth missions could come in handy. Unfortunately, the three elf villages we have found have already been... dealt with. If we are to gather elf minions, we will need to search in some new direction. I'll leave that for you to decide, with reference to the map I showed earlier.
>>
No. 446127 ID: bf54a8

there we go, see this is why your people look for us, we help you guys with things you wouldn't even think of. also there should be more then three villages. perhaps an envoy has already gone to a different race for help or something.
>>
No. 446143 ID: d94e2c

So do you have any other weaknesses we should know about? Any hobbies other than elf killing?
>>
No. 446147 ID: b6edd6

>>446143
Well, aside from elf kindling and every-other-living-thing killing.

By the way, what is the significance of that vaguely arrow-like mark that appeared on your forehead?

Pity about the one-per-world thing. Setting him against the rest of his people would be a perfect way to find out how to do our evil duty to kill him, and would generally be win-win.
>>
No. 446346 ID: f8d26d

It's only a sample size of three, but the northernmost and southernmost villages look to be roughly the same difference away from the westernmost village. And the villages appear to be curving around your domain.

So.. I suggest starting the search in the unexplored region to the south of the axe mark, that looks to be about where a village should be. Another possibilty is the unexplored region in the bottom left corner of the map, that area is far enough away from the burned villages for a settlement to be present. And there is a spot in that corner that is about the same distance from two of the villages as they are from each other.
>>
No. 446478 ID: 9c071b

The other voices are likely correct. If they follow a pattern in their placement as it seems here, then that southern bit likely has a village or two.

You could try taunting them. Slash at a few trees, start a little forest fire, toss some elf bits around, and maybe some 'fun' stuff and you can likely lure them out a bit.

Incidentally, I recommend using some of the trees you cut down for siege towers, siege weaponry, and basic fortifications. Unless the elves in this work are decent with nature magic, this can provide handy cover. Heck, even if they are good at it, charring and 'killing' the wood may prevent them from doing things to them.
>>
No. 446708 ID: af3431
File 134577314626.png - (157.49KB , 700x700 , sealteam6.png )
446708

What you see is my Seal. It is the channel through which I use my power. Were it to come to significant harm, my strength would be seriously diminished. Aside from that, I have no extraordinary weaknesses not present in other beings. Hobbies were not exactly something to focus on while searching for the Guidance Stone, so no, I do not have any hobbies.
>>
No. 446712 ID: af3431
File 134577349555.png - (263.39KB , 700x700 , thisisntcheating.png )
446712

The consensus seems to be to explore to the South, correct? That seems as good a decision as any. As for siege equipment, unfortunately we lack the supplies for construction first off, and secondly the Ursaps are nomadic raiders, so the majority of my forces have had no need for siege equipment or defense structures and don't have the expertise to build them in the first place.
If there are no more questions and a plan has been reached, shall we move on to addressing the troops in the morning and moving out?

Posted in the disthread, kind of important so check out >>59045
>>
No. 446740 ID: b6edd6

Addressing the troops now sounds fine.

Since the disc thread is in a different section, its address is >>/questdis/58143
>>
No. 447706 ID: af3431
File 134595432610.png - (274.88KB , 700x700 , circleoflife.png )
447706

At dawn, I assemble the troops and remind them of their place.

I stand before you with the skull of your deceased ex leader. BigBad felt he was entitled to my position as head of this troupe. Such insubordination is to be expected, but his poorly planned ascent led him to make an attempt on my life. At this point you should recognize how well that turned out for him. In future, I expect complete obedience from each and every one of you. I will address this matter no further.
>>
No. 447715 ID: af3431
File 134595474229.png - (197.71KB , 700x700 , southboundanddown.png )
447715

I appoint the next-in-line warrior, ChipTooth, to be the new leader of the Ursaps. With that handled, We pack up camp and head through the forest to the south.
>>
No. 447894 ID: af3431
File 134598913552.png - (281.15KB , 700x700 , smokeonthetreetops.png )
447894

Uh, Boss? I don't think that was us.

That certainly couldn't be our doing, we've only just explored this area. Should we investigate or avoid that vicinity?
>>
No. 447896 ID: d6c330

Instigate. Someone is being attacked, and someone else is doing the attacking. That gives you two groups to learn from (or at least of). If there's another military faction nearby, it behooves you to be aware of it. Either they're going to be your enemies, rivals, or you can recruit them.
>>
No. 447936 ID: 6e44d2

>>447896
Might want to see if we can swoop in and be saviors or whatever. Might be good for PR.
>>
No. 447979 ID: b6edd6

Looks like a fight, which is excellent. We can now either side with one group or do away with both while they are occupied.
>>
No. 448039 ID: d94e2c

Looks like we have a consensus, my good man.
I do advise you to look into the matter yourself instead of relying on scouts. We can only see in your immediate vincinity and without knowledge we can do nothing to assist you.
>>
No. 448123 ID: f8d26d

Where is the smoke in relation to our intended destination? I'm a bit worried that the elves might see the smoke and run. Anyway, probably best to investigate as long as the diversion isn't too severe.
>>
No. 448974 ID: af3431
File 134621007560.png - (226.31KB , 700x700 , 8I.png )
448974

Hmmm... This town is suspiciously intact for somewhere supposedly under assault. There are no sounds or signs of battle either. However, screams and crackling flames can be heard farther into the village.
>>
No. 448976 ID: af3431
File 134621027375.png - (284.92KB , 700x700 , thepatriot.png )
448976

...I believe we have reached the source of the disturbance.
>>
No. 448979 ID: d6c330

Hey, where's your cannon fodder? You went in alone, ahead of your troops?

>one man
Well, either you've got a useful recruit or someone to kill. Let's find out. Approach him.
>>
No. 449152 ID: b6edd6

Looks like another fellow who appreciates the finer points of incineration.
>>
No. 449763 ID: af3431
File 134637200643.png - (327.87KB , 700x700 , excusemeprincess.png )
449763

I don't believe I require backup for this one individual and a burning building full of people.

Hello there! I see you appreciate the finer points of incineration as well! Care to explain what exactly you are doing here?
>>
No. 449773 ID: d6c330

>I don't believe I require backup for this one individual and a burning building full of people.
You didn't know it was one individual and burning building when you decided to go on ahead alone. You took a blind risk, for no reason. Maybe it won't hurt you this time, but those are mistakes that will get you long term.
>>
No. 449780 ID: af3431
File 134637328938.png - (198.29KB , 700x700 , crisscross.png )
449780

"Ilais has spoken. These were unworthy. These were extinguished. Ilais will reward us with the lights of these."
>>
No. 449787 ID: 533c7a

ask who Ilais is. the god of this world perhaps? a great leader? and if burning is how they traditionally kill things then you are pretty safe.
>>
No. 449790 ID: 44f50a

Ohhhh... OHHHH~ is that a dark elf I see? Not only that, but a zealous dark elf who just burned an entire village on his own? Now, see this guy? This is a good second in command. He practically did our work before we even got here!

Still, got to wonder if he's the traditional '27 flavors of elf' dark elf or the corrupted elf type? Either way, commend him on his fine elf burning, ask about the god he worships and so forth.

Heck, we could get him in on that 'ultimate elf suffering' plan! After all, why not tack on zealous loyalty on top of our deranged spirit possessed fallen elf children assassins?
>>
No. 449909 ID: 6e44d2

Looks like his mouth is sown closed. How's he communicating to you?
>>
No. 450181 ID: d94e2c

I like the look of his fellow. He seems like the type you ought to consort with.
>>
No. 451524 ID: af3431
File 134672817319.png - (309.60KB , 700x700 , personalspace.png )
451524

Would Ilais be your lord? Or your god perhaps?

"Ilais speaks to us, for we are the one deemed worthy. Ilais shows us the path. Ilais is the One Who Knows Many Things."

How is it you speak with a sealed mouth?

"We do not speak. We listen. Ilais guides our words to those with whom we must speak."

Would you mind allowing for my personal space? Is there something wrong here?

"Ilais has taken notice of you. You are special. We are told to accompany you. Do you accept?"
>>
No. 451527 ID: bf54a8

sounds powerful. while i don't doubt you could kill this guy, this illais could be a problem if we piss him off, so accept.
>>
No. 451532 ID: d6c330

Creepy powerful right hand man who serves a creepy evil God? Heyo!

Sign him up. This can't go wrong.
>>
No. 451541 ID: d94e2c

Welcome aboard! We always like getting new teammates!
>>
No. 452053 ID: af3431
File 134689466468.png - (238.29KB , 700x700 , openup.png )
452053

"This pleases us. We require no shelter or nourishment, our presence will be no burden on your supplies. If you will excuse us, we must complete our mission here, before we join you."

This... Priest as it would seem, walks away and opens a small bag on his belt. The bag glows white, with a variety of flickering colors dancing in the light.
>>
No. 452056 ID: af3431
File 134689494473.png - (266.69KB , 700x700 , borealis.png )
452056

Priest draws near to the flaming wreckage that was once a building full of people. The screams have long since died. He raises a hand to the building, holding open the bag with the other. After a moment, he begins emitting a whispering, chanting sound, more haunting than any I'd heard before. As his chant draws on, a greenish white energy, the same as in his bag, rises from the ashes and clouds together in a large mass of light. Slowly, a tendril of the energy extends itself out to his hand, pooling slightly before being drawn into his bag.

I am no expert, but I believe Priest is somehow harvesting the magic souls of his victims here. If this is true, we have just made a very powerful ally. Or a very risky mistake.
>>
No. 452060 ID: d6c330

>we have just made a very powerful ally. Or a very risky mistake.
Yeah, we were expecting that as soon as you walked into the village and found it completely murdered by one man jus sitting there.
>>
No. 452062 ID: 44f50a

Oh boy, I absolutely LOVE this guy~ burning down a village, then absorbing the anguishing souls into his soul bag. Sure it lacks a bit of versatility like the child assassin plan, but this is nice in it's own way.

Either way, why don't we help improve our bond with our new companion by going elf hunting and putting that plan into effect? He probably knows where a few villages are and it seems that there is a perimeter of them near the edge of the forest. Of course, if we wish to chance it, going deeper may have actual Elven CITIES which means loot, bodies, souls and children by the bucket loads!
>>
No. 452069 ID: bf54a8

>>452062
don't think we can do any cities yet, we don't have any siege engines and they could just arrow us to death.
>>
No. 452076 ID: b6edd6

We will have to investigate that bag at some point. A stockpile of soul energy could be useful for all sorts of things.
>>
No. 453121 ID: af3431
File 134724246196.png - (240.97KB , 700x700 , directions.png )
453121

When Priest finishes up, he returns to the group.

Now, Priest, would you happen to know of other elven villages or cities in the area? I have some ideas in mind, that you could perhaps help with, but nevertheless require a village of civilians to slaughter.

"We know of no cities built by the elves, but we have heard say of other villages in the area. Ilais tells us also of new opportunities for slaughter in the south."

It seems we could search the area for more elves to try out that assassin idea, or move south and find what is there. What do you think?
>>
No. 453423 ID: f2c20c

>>453121
Let's get a couple elven kids. The younger and more impressionable the better.
>>
No. 453433 ID: 4a328b

>>453423
Oh yes. Kidnap some elven kids and normal elves, make the kids kill the adults :D
>>
No. 454381 ID: af3431
File 134758434250.png - (239.28KB , 700x700 , notapedophilejustamurderer.png )
454381

Very well, we shall scout out some elf villages to experiment on. Priest says Ilais will guide us to the nearest village. After some wandering (which, frankly, often felt like going in circles) we come across a village. I ordered the troops to stay some distance away, and moved with Priest to find some children.

We find a small clearing with several children playing games. They are unsupervised. How should we go about this?
>>
No. 454382 ID: 4a328b

Get some of your thugs to grab'em and then pit them one by one [armed] against unarmed, possibly tied up, adult elves in arena style pit-combat. And they don't get food or anything until they kill the adult. That should learn'em, right?
>>
No. 454391 ID: 9c8e90

Don't get ahead of yourself yet, chief. Focus on capturing the kids ALIVE, first. Then we can decide what to do with them. If you have any sneakitude at all, I suggest flanking the kids on the other side first, and then revealing your presence to them. If you can use your diplomacy to draw them away from the village and then kidnap them quietly, so much the better for you. If you can't, and they get scared, you will be in between them and the village and you can drive them back into the forest where your men can capture them.

I must insist on stressing the point of capturing as many whole, unmurderlated, children as possible. You have many more options available to you, whatever course you decide to pursue. Alive children can always be made dead, but Dead children are very hard to make alive.
>>
No. 454409 ID: 6e44d2

>Nonchalant discussion on murdering kids/using them as child soldiers.

Oh you guys!

Seriously, though, do this: >>454391
>>
No. 454414 ID: bf54a8

indeed. unless you have some currently unknown power to reverse death, it is a one way street. so get as many live ones as you can.
>>
No. 454446 ID: b1a9b2

i recommend offering luring the children into your clutches with chicken sandwiches... why? because every kid is suspicious as hell of a stranger with a lollipop, but they wont think twice about a kind gentleman with delicious mouth watering chicken sandwiches...
>>
No. 454474 ID: 44f50a

Getting children is easy enough. So long as you are gentle and don't do something stupid, they should be easy. Make an interesting noise, draw their attention, and wait until one investigates. Snatch that one up, then snatch the other up. Make sure they don't scream by muffling their mouths. Just be gentle. They are children AND elves after all.

The tricky part in my honest opinion is to make them loyal. That's easy enough with magic, but true loyalty lies with them loving you and hating the things you hate. Make them serving you the best things in their eyes. Twist the image of their parents and family into those of captors. Those that stifle them and let them rot here for so many years. Reward them for doing their duty and following their training, but do not punish them in training. After all, if they fail when given their mission, they face the worst kind of punishment.

Besides, something about raising that lime haired boy into a skilled, loyal and intelligent assassin fills me with joy.
>>
No. 454544 ID: 4a328b

>>454474
Oh, good plan.

We should probably mostly keep them seperate from each other in the early stages so they don't remind one another about the good parts of their home, y'know? Or only get one assassin from each settlement so they don't have as much common ground--something like that.
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