Twelvth 2012/07/28(Sat)14:49 No. 437156 ID: 147853
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Your dad has assigned you the lofty task of making the cake! He was going to do this himself, but he's pretty excited by the fact that you want to do this.


We gotta find you a purpose, kid.
Right now, your purpose is cake ingredients!

> Okay, let's clear something up. There's nothing wrong with being a fighter, or a brawler. Your problem is you don't have anywhere useful to point your combative impulses.

That's a really great thought! You enjoy being positive. You also enjoy fighting. Maybe some muggers or punks or something will give you a reason to "have a little fun" while you're out cruising for cake stuff today!

You have three choices. The Kwik Mart by the gas station just down the street. That's closest, and you'd be home in no time. If they had everything you need.

The STAR*Mart has a little bit of everything, is the next closest, but also doesn't have that great quality of stuff.

The RALPHERSONS would take you about an hour to get there by bike, but you'd have everything you need to make an AWESOME birthday cake.

Your sister's favorite colors are pink and blue by the way. You assume because she's a little miss girly girl, you never really understood how she thinks.

Um, for the record? Trying to combine fighting baddies and keep up important commitments to your family at the same time? Almost always blows up in your. It's a basic superhero trope.

So concentrate on one thing at a time. Cake now. Beating up baddies later.

If you'll still have time to make the cake if you take the longer route, go that way. Better supplies, and you can burn off some energy with all the exercise.

Admitting your own mistakes is something that requires great courage and determination. It's kind hard and depressing, but you'll come out stronger after that. Furthermore, almost everyone can be physically strong, but that alone means nothing from the moment we created weapons. Regardless, it's tottaly cool how much you like your father. He never had to use fear and brawns to win your respect, though.

Anyway, you're a good big bro! It's kinda cute! Your sister may realize that if you become more honest with yourself. What are your feelings, however? You don't like being terrifying, yet you enjoy fighting. That's how you impose yourself on others, that's the only kind of respect you can get by force. How would you like to be seen by others, then? I thought that you got into fights only to defend something important.

> RALPHERSONS
> AWESOME
You don't do things by halves. Let's go.

Twelvth 2012/07/29(Sun)00:16 No. 437270 ID: 147853
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> Furthermore, almost everyone can be physically strong.
Not in your experience. For instance, Dad has a problem even with heavy lifting. And you, personally, tend not to lose fights.

He never had to use fear and brawns to win your respect, though.
Dad can DO that with people though, you never could. He's pretty awesome, and easy to get along with.

You can also beat him at arm wrestling. He used to try, just to impress you. He's a cool guy.

> Um, for the record? Trying to combine fighting baddies and keep up important commitments to your family at the same time? Almost always blows up in your. It's a basic superhero trope. Nonsense. Haven't you ever seen Cake Dance?

[color=green}> Anyway, you're a good big bro! It's kinda cute! Your sister may realize that if you become more honest with yourself. What are your feelings, however? You don't like being terrifying, yet you enjoy fighting. That's how you impose yourself on others, that's the only kind of respect you can get by force. How would you like to be seen by others, then? I thought that you got into fights only to defend something important. [/color]
You... have no idea. Like... Defenders of Justice are kinda cool and all, but they probably try not to make their lil' sis cry as much as you've done in the past...

You get your bike out of the garage.

Twelvth 2012/07/29(Sun)00:17 No. 437271 ID: 147853
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But that's old news. It's time for some AWESOME.

You don't do things by halves. Let's go.

> RALPHERSONS AWESOME.

Let's try to kick it out in half an hour, cut that time down to size! That should still give you plenty of time to make a cake by tomorrow, just like you want to.

You'll take a short cut through the park.

Shortcuts always work right?

Twelvth 2012/07/29(Sun)00:19 No. 437272 ID: 147853
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Suddenly: A short hairy midget guy jumps out in front of you! He's jumping up and down and waving his arms and legs around!

What do you do?
>ATTACK
>EVADE

>CAPTURE

Just blow by him. He's got short stubby legs, he can't magically keep up with your bike or anything. Besides, you're on a mission, you don't have time to deal with annoying gnomes.

My first impression is that he isn't very smart, you can't just stop abruptly. He seems really preoccupied with something, maybe it's an emergency. Dodge and brake. Let's see what he wants, this will not cost you more than five minutes.

Twelvth 2012/07/29(Sun)09:40 No. 437333 ID: 147853
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> Just blow by him. He's got short stubby legs, he can't magically keep up with your bike or anything. Besides, you're on a mission, you don't have time to deal with annoying gnomes.

> My first impression is that he isn't very smart, you can't just stop abruptly. He seems really preoccupied with something, maybe it's an emergency. Dodge and brake. Let's see what he wants, this will not cost you more than five minutes.



All true. It wouldn't take but five minutes, but you also don't HAVE five minutes to spare. Where's your sense of commitment! We're in this to the end! Bring it on, Ralphersons!

> CAPTURE

Clearly this is the only option left.

You combine all three of your thoughts. Your tires screech as you drift behind him, and you almost lay your bike down.

Without losing much speed, you manage to grab him and propel your self back into an upright position, plopping him on the handlebars as the wind whisks by.

Full speed ahead!

Twelvth 2012/07/29(Sun)09:45 No. 437336 ID: 147853
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He looks amazingly unperturbed for one having been suddenly yanked onto some kid's bike while maintaining a pretty high rate of travel.

More or less. His voice shakes as he tries to speak over the loudness of the wind.

Come to think of it, that ears and hat of his are kind of weird. What does he think he is, some sort of garden gnome? Did you just kidnap a crazy person?

"YOU... YOU MUST COME WITH ME... NOW!" He shouts at you. Well, speaks loudly at you. The wind is pretty loud.

He's also doing a better job maintaining his balance than you would have thought.

Chastise him for missing the obvious opportunity to quote Terminator. And then point out he's technically coming with you, already.

Unless it involves you, me and delicious confectionary goods, you can go fuck yourself.

Where is his education? No introduction, no letter or phone call in advance, and yelling at you. If you weren't busy driving your bike and buying ingredients for a fabulous cake, you'd give him a nice beating.

Twelvth 2012/07/31(Tue)12:06 No. 437827 ID: 147853
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You're still going pretty fast.

>Chastise him for missing the obvious opportunity to quote Terminator. And then point out he's technically coming with you, already.

"Don't you mean 'Come with me if you want to live'?"

"Wind?"

It seems like he can't hear you over the wind. Though he does have huge batlike ears, the wind is carrying the sound behind you, and there's a lot rush past. It's pretty loud.

"I SAID THE LINE GOES 'COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE' YOU LITTLE BAS-"

"WHAT?" Okay, this is ridiculous.

"YOU KNOW, TECHNICALLY YOU'RE THE ONE COMING WITH ME ALREADY."

"WHAT?"

Uhg. Nevermind.

>Unless it involves you, me and delicious confectionary goods, you can go fuck yourself.

"WHAT?"

Okay, why did you think that would work by this point? You're getting kinda sick of the little freak now, honestly.

Twelvth 2012/07/31(Tue)12:09 No. 437828 ID: 147853
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>Where is his education? No introduction, no letter or phone call in advance, and yelling at you. If you weren't busy driving your bike and buying ingredients for a fabulous cake, you'd give him a nice beating.

Being busy driving your bike never stopped you from doin' nuttin.

He's not really worth beating up though. He looks like a shrimp.

You feel charitable enough to give him a good left cross though.

POW.

He quite easily loses his balance and goes flying off into the bushes.

Twelvth 2012/07/31(Tue)12:16 No. 437830 ID: 147853
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20 minutes later you arrive at the ralphersons.


Wait... did the little guy take your wallet?

You could have sworn you brought it. You double checked!

How can you get cake ingredients without your wallet?

Right, that's done. Obviously there will never be any negative consequences from this, ever.

Get your supplies, then get home. If possible, take a different route or street so he can't jump you again on the way back.

>ingredients without money
I assume you have your father's credit card number memorized, young scallywag?

>>437830
Why are there no cars? Is the place closed?

> Wait... did the little guy take your wallet?
There's only one way to know. Go after him.

Twelvth 2012/07/31(Tue)13:08 No. 437843 ID: 147853
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>There's only one way to know. Go after him.

No time for that now! You have not yet begun to bake!

>Why are there no cars? Is the place closed?

Well, those empty spaces in front actually just say "reserved parking". You've never actually seen anyone park there before.

That said, you're pretty sure the store is open. Looks like it's not crowded today though.

>I assume you have your father's credit card number memorized, young scallywag?

You're not thinking of being dishonest, are you? Well, admittedly, yes. Yes you are. You happen to have memorized a few of your parents credit card numbers, but you're trying to turn a new leaf here!

And actually, you have your dad's debit card tucked into your shoe. He never minded you borrowing it before, so you tend to keep it on you "just in case."

Though, admittedly, you're not sure he ever KNEW about you borrowing it before.

You're not exactly sure where his money comes from, in any case.

It doesn't actually have his name on it, but you found it in his dresser, after you were first grounded. Back when you were looking for your "cool stuff".

Since then you've been bringing it with you when you've snuck out. Just in case. It seems to work pretty well so far.

Magic debit card! Clearly nothing can go wrong with this plan.

Go ahead, it's for a good cause. Your parents can't really complain about you spending money on an errand they sent you on. You could always repay them later if bothers you (you know, another day, after you recover your wallet). Leave the money in the drawer where you found the card.

Only cake ingredients. After this you'll return to dad his debit card and all the money you took from him. From now on if you want some money you should ask mon and dad. Or get a job like delivering newspapers, mowing the lawn, professional wrestling or being a model for women's clothing.

Twelvth 2012/07/31(Tue)14:03 No. 437857 ID: 147853
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>Magic debit card! Clearly nothing can go wrong with this plan.

Magic doesn't exist. This is just a normal, if mysterious debit card. Why are you thinking about magic so much lately?

Otherwise, true. You are a genius. Your plans never go wrong! Except all those times they did... but this is clearly another matter!

You decide to go ahead and use the card. I mean, where could that go wrong? You'll pay it back later. After you don't need the card anymore.

Now... do you even know what needs to go into a cake?

The store layout and selection is somewhat baffling. This place has way too much.

The only thing on that shelf that you need is the cake frosting. Do you have flour, eggs, sugar, butter and milk at home? You'll need vanilla extract and a few other miscellaneous ingredients depending on the cake you are making... whats your sisters favorite?

Also a frosting piper might be good if you don't have one at home. You can put a nice message on the cake with that.

> Now... do you even know what needs to go into a cake?
You need love. And a bit of yay.

>>437867
Hmm perhaps we can make a test muffin with Yay and Love to see how it effects the recipe... ask the owner the effects of the products before buying though.

>The only thing on that shelf that you need is the cake frosting. Do you have flour, eggs, sugar, butter and milk at home?

No no no. Trying to bake with the flour and eggs you have at home is preposterous Murphy bait. Every time you try it, you'll run out. Buy enough supplies so even if you fuck up and waste some, you can still complete the cake.

Store bought frosting isn't great. Make your own! All you need is sugar, cream cheese, and color/flavoring.

>>437863
>separate icing piper
Use a plastic bag with the corner cut off. All you need.

Twelvth 2012/07/31(Tue)22:55 No. 438018 ID: 147853
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Love #9. Smells like turpentine and looks like Indian Ink.

No need to ask about it. It's probably fine.

Twelvth 2012/07/31(Tue)23:00 No. 438019 ID: 147853
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>Store bought isn't great. Make your own!

You're not really sure what your sister likes as far as cake goes... you probably should have planned this out better.

As such, you decide to just go ahead and buy everything you could conceivably need in order to make a good cake. And you throw a couple of those environment friendly eco-bags for good measure, less likely to break down the road than plastic bags are.

It's racked up quite a total. But Dad never has seemed to want for money, and you're going to pay him back anyways.

Twelvth 2012/07/31(Tue)23:01 No. 438021 ID: 147853
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Uh oh...

What, what? How does that... Security?

Hold on a second here...

Twelvth 2012/07/31(Tue)23:03 No. 438022 ID: 147853
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"Hey Kid! Get back here!"

Before waiting for your mind to catch up, your body grabs your stuff and starts moving.

It's go time.

Well, at least that saves you the decision.

I should note, you do have more options available than just running away by this point. Go ahead, be creative.

How the hell does a credit card get overdrawn? Fucking magic how do they work! Anyway that guy is big but he's just the bagger not security. Let's see if he gets paid enough to catch you!

Usually when a card is denied, they just have you try again. And then they ask you if you have another. Security descending on you immediately is kind of crazy.

Get inside a women's clothing store, pick up some clothes and hide in a stall.

Twelvth 2012/08/07(Tue)14:23 No. 440206 ID: 147853
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>Get inside a women's clothing store, pick up some clothes and hide in a stall.

You duck into the JCStromnords next door.

You're pretty sure they'll follow you inside, but maybe the fact that it's a women's clothing store will inspire some level of intrinsic fear in the big muscle-y bagger dude.

Twelvth 2012/08/07(Tue)14:27 No. 440208 ID: 147853
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>Usually when a card is denied, they just have you try again. And then they ask you if you have another. Security descending on you immediately is kind of crazy.

Yeah, totally, right? Something's fishy here. You're kind of upset that you lost you're cool, now you've become an accidental thief, and it probably would have been straightened out in a jip if you hadn't darted.

>How the hell does a credit card get overdrawn? Anyway that guy is big but he's just the bagger not security. Let's see if he gets paid enough to catch you!

It was a debit card.

Anyways, they'll probably be here any minute.

You can't catch a stall, that big guy would have you cornered. Where should you hide or otherwise ditch them?

Well, crossdressing is the conventional way to avoid pursuers in this situation, but as you have no money, you'd have to steal the clothes too, and you're back at square one when you try to walk out and the alarms go off.

You could try ducking out the back door (most mall shops, especially the bigger ones) have emergency exits of loading doors to the outside, but again, you might set off an alarm.

I think doubling back might work. Hide, he comes in looking for you, and then you sneak back out the same entrance and gtfo.

Try and keep your head down through all of this. You don't want the security cams getting a good look at your face, if you can help it. And make sure your one of a kind instantly recognizable birthmark is covered. (Although it may be too late for any of that).

> You can't catch a stall, that big guy would have you cornered.
That's the plan. Trust me on this.

You're only stealing if you leave the store without paying for the clothes. Now, you'll need black opaque pantyhose, plaid skirt, cool jacket and cap. You have two options. Lure him and make a scandal when he peek into your stall or call your sister.

Twelvth 2012/08/14(Tue)17:39 No. 443218 ID: 38cd76
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>You're only stealing if you leave the store without paying for the clothes. Now, you'll need black opaque pantyhose, plaid skirt, cool jacket and cap.

For some reason most of your escape plans seem to involve cross dressing by this point. You try to think of what that would be like, of the freedom of movement you could either get or lose from wearing a skirt, but you don't really have the time for that right now.

You'd like to think you don't have the know-how either, but that's a laugh. Growing up with a sister just a year younger than you really taught you a lot that you'd rather not know.

Twelvth 2012/08/14(Tue)17:40 No. 443219 ID: 38cd76
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>Try and keep your head down through all of this. You don't want the security cams getting a good look at your face, if you can help it. And make sure your one of a kind instantly recognizable birthmark is covered.

Stealth mode initiated.

>Sneaking out the back, etc

Moving out!

Twelvth 2012/08/14(Tue)17:47 No. 443226 ID: 38cd76
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You have several close calls as you sneak through the store. Clothes wracks can actually be a pretty decent place to hide, though you're hindered a bit by your ill-gotten gains.

You hear a bit of conversation as you hide.

"I don't even know why we're looking for this kid. Our store doesn't even have security to page! We should just call the cops and let them deal with it."

"Weird. But hey, at least it's a break from the monotony. Or would you rather clean isles and bag groceries all day?"

"I'm just saying, something's fishy here. Most times a card gets declined, we just have them try another one, or try it again. Poor guy's just a kid!"

"Well, his parents coulda made him try and pull a fast one, or..."

"yeah yeah, just keep looking."

Weird.

You make the rest of the way to the back mostly without incident.

>call your sister.

C'mon Sheri... pick up!

If mom finds out about this, you're soooo toast.

Twelvth 2012/08/14(Tue)17:50 No. 443227 ID: 38cd76
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You are now Sherilyn C. Bloom.

You've been at the mall all day with your friends, your mom dropped you off on her way to work with some cash, as a sort of pre-birthday present. She didn't need to, but it was super nice of her.

Twelvth 2012/08/14(Tue)17:52 No. 443230 ID: 38cd76
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All of a sudden, your phone starts wringing. It was another pre-birthday present. Your dad set it up for you in your favorite colors, it's a brand new myPhone.

The caller ID doesn't have very many numbers in it yet, so the caller being unknown isn't that weird.

Still, you're hanging out with your friends, and don't know if you should really answer it right now.

Blissfully continue to enjoy this wonderful day your horrid brother hasn't yet ruined for you and definitely won't anytime some.

eh, why not?

Answer iiiiit

Answer.