Lumen and Soy 2012/01/06(Fri)14:12 No. 377925 ID: bd5106
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WHRRR

Lumen and Soy 2012/01/06(Fri)14:13 No. 377926 ID: bd5106
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WHRRR

That's not how you drive what are you doing

You broke the first rule of safe driving: Never under any circumstances drive with you butt-cheeks.

Your doing it wrong.

It's a bad sign if your airplane dash has Engrish on it.

Im not sure if your checking the correct blind spot.

>>377926
Now would be a good time to make sure the plane doesn't go down.

If we're the observer, grab the stick and keep the plane level. If we're the silly fucker playing around on the seat, wake up and get on the controls.

PULL UP! Pull 'em up for the love of god man, I can see your ass!

Well, unless you hit sudden random turbulence you should be fine for a good while even if the autopilot is off. Big passenger aircraft are pretty damn stable.

Jesus fuck, learn to coordinate your clothes. Green boxers with purple hoodie? Some people think coordinating your underwear doesn't matter, but it does!

Okay, first thing's first: level the plane, if it's not already. Use the artificial horizon to judge this, as the actual horizon can be tricky and your inner ear will outright lie.

Once you're flying straight, ensure that there are no obstacles ahead, and check altitude, airspeed, engine, and fuel status.

SaL 2012/01/06(Fri)21:46 No. 378065 ID: bd5106
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WHRR-RRR-rk-thump--whrrrrrr

SaL 2012/01/06(Fri)21:51 No. 378067 ID: bd5106
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Owwwwwwwww

>>378065
Alternately, if that's all too complicated at the moment I recommend simply WAKING UP.

>>378067
CHECK FUEL.

SaL 2012/01/06(Fri)22:04 No. 378078 ID: bd5106
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Where... where am I?

>>378068 Alternately, if that's all too complicated at the moment I recommend simply WAKING UP.

Wake up? Oh god why am I so sleepy. And why... underwear??

The plane is listing to the left. Get off the controls so it'll level out.

Move, stupid! Also CHECK FUEL.

>>378082
The fuels fine; it's the FIUEL I'm worried about.

>>378078
I believe you are in an airplane cockpit. or at least in a incredibly realistic flight pilot simulator. Its seems that there is an ALART sounding due to an EROROR in the FIUEL system.

Lady, wake up.

Wake up, lady.

Ma'am, get the plane leveled out. Hurry.

Grab the bendy stick thingy that's moving on it's own. It shouldn't. Pull on it as hard as you can.

>>378090
She's a dude, dude.
Anyway, fear not, for we are THE ORB OF INFINITE PSYCHE! WE HAVE TRAVELED LONG AND FAR-slap
OK, OK...
Listen, we're here to help. now tell us who you are.

That must have been one hell of a bender.

cover your belly, you shameless gigolo.

>>378097
DO NOT DO THIS.

Hold it gently in the center position, and adjust the levers in the center console so they're both at the same position—say, about 50%.

And then start looking around for somewhere to land because you probably don't have enough fuel to stay airborne much longer. Be prepared to glide it in. Mentally review water landing procedure if you're familiar with it; if you're not, just try to locate the flaps controls, deploy them when you get close to the surface, then hit the water as slowly as possible.

Oh, and call for help on the radio ASAP, so long as your life isn't in immediate danger. Give them your location if you can find an operational GPS display.

What's there straight ahead? Looks like an island to me.

Unless you are a pilot DO NOT TOUCH anything yet.
Find the comms, call for help, ask them how to turn on the autopilot.

SaL 2012/01/08(Sun)02:42 No. 378454 ID: 36fc73
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>The plane is listing to the left. Get off the controls so it'll level out.

“What in the fuuuck…”

Okay holy shit fuck shit

Okay I am in a plane and fuck it is even more sideways now and what the fuck is going on

And fuck, my head hurts.

SaL 2012/01/08(Sun)02:43 No. 378455 ID: 36fc73
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>Unless you are a pilot DO NOT TOUCH anything yet.
“Whew okay the plane is going kind of straight again.”

>Listen, we're here to help. now tell us who you are.
“Uh, Alan. Alan Smith. And I- I have no idea why I’m here, I’m not a pilot or a spy or anything.”

>What's there straight ahead? Looks like an island to me.
“Yeah, hey! It’s an island. But it’s kind of off more to the right now.”

>And then start looking around for somewhere to land because you probably don't have enough fuel to stay airborne much longer. Be prepared to glide it in. Mentally review water landing procedure if you're familiar with it; if you're not, just try to locate the flaps controls, deploy them when you get close to the surface, then hit the water as slowly as possible.
“What’s a flap contro- LAND?? FUCK man, I just said I’m not a pilot! How do I- How-“

SaL 2012/01/08(Sun)02:44 No. 378457 ID: 36fc73
File 132601948951.gif - (63.24KB , 539x360 , 9.gif )

> Its seems that there is an ALART sounding due to an EROROR in the FIUEL system.
“I- what? Ah, there’s a little fuel light blinking over here, also there is a cargo bearch apparently.”

Fuck fuck fuck I am going to die

“Look, maybe there is a pilot on this plane or something? Maybe this is just some huge misunderstanding? Like, he just asked me to hold the wheel while he’s going to the bathroom? … And his co-pilot is peeing too?”

Fuck oh fuck I am going to die

>>378457
You are flying towards an island. Fairly rapidly.
Step 1: Scream for help. It probably won't accomplish anything, but it'd be dumb to not try.
Step 2: Look for anything that looks like a radio microphone. It should have a button on or near it. Press this button and repeat step 1. Release the button. Wait a few seconds. Repeat continuously simultaneously to proceeding with this list.
Step 3: Try to keep the plane level and pointed near, but NOT AT the island. If nobody comes to help you, you will want to land in the water within swimming distance of the shore. Water is softer than mountainside.
Wait as long as you can for help before proceeding further.
Step 5: Slow the plane down and lose altitude. Do this by reducing the throttle—pulling the big lever in the center console towards you. Do so slowly, and stop once the nose of the plane starts to drop of its own accord. Now just try to hold it level.
Step 6: Eventually you'll end up close to the water. Reduce the throttle all the way to zero, and gently pull the nose up until it's just above the horizon. If the plane starts to climb again, you've pulled it up too far.
You are now floating on the water. You should have a moment of calm; passenger aircraft take a while to sink, by design. Find an emergency exit and deploy the slide, but don't leave just yet: use this time to search for emergency supplies, specifically a portable radio and medical stuffs.

>>378457
Cargo bearch...?

Oh shit, there's a fucking bear on the plane!

You're the man at the controls here. Looks like you're in an Embraer Lineage 1000, a luxury business jet for executives and VIPs. No telling what happened to the crew right now. The plane has cabin capacity for 19, plus 3 crew members. Since you're the only person accounted for at the moment, you could be responsible for the lives of as many as 21 other people.

The Embraer Lineage 1000 has a range of 5,179 miles. You could be anywhere, depending on where you started and how long the plane's been in trouble.

For now level the plane out. Look for the cabin intercom switch, talk to the other passengers (if there are any). You're going to have to make a water landing soon, no two ways around that. Without fuel you don't have a choice.

Do a barrel roll.

Right when you're about to crash, go to the back of the plane so that the front of the plane absorbs the impact.

What was the last thing you remember doing?

>>378467

this. you'll never get another chance. ever. c'mon. you know you want to.

>>378498
If he stays at the controls and pulls up as the aircraft approaches the water, it won't be a crash, and the thing'll float for a while too.

Water landings 101: Stay as level as possible.
A nosedive is obviously bad, but a tailstrike is just going to result in a flip followed by a nosedive. The difficult part is slowing down as much as possible without stalling or needing to flare.

As you haven't ditched already, you can just leave the controls alone for a while longer to find the lever or switch labelled FLAP. This will help. Don't worry about the cargo breach; there's nothing you can do about it, and it won't be an issue unless you climb a lot or until after you ditch. Also, look for a life jacket, and a switch labelled ELT (the ELT should also activate automatically once you hit the water anyway though).

SaL 2012/01/22(Sun)23:40 No. 381683 ID: 230455
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“Holy shit that’s a lot of people telling me to do things at one time. Okay, I, uh-“

> Step 1: Scream for help. It probably won't accomplish anything, but it'd be dumb to not try.

Let’s try that one. “Ahhh! ... Uh okay that wasn't very... nobody probably heard that.” He draws in a deep breath. “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

I fucking hope I’m not alone on this plane.

“Now let’s see about that radio...”

SaL 2012/01/22(Sun)23:44 No. 381684 ID: 230455
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A man is awoken by a scream.

What was that?

He sits up.

Despite what the above image may imply, you can clearly see that this man has greying blonde hair and blue eyes. He is rather tall and has high cheekbones. He is wearing a black business suit and appears confused.

The lights in this room are off, but it is dimly lit by a few covered windows along its length.

SaL 2012/01/22(Sun)23:47 No. 381685 ID: 230455
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Across from him is a TV with an arrow pointing right.

The scream came from the left.

Scream in panic because oh god there's a gun and a weird tv screen and uh some cigarettes? oh god
Then pocket everything, equip gun, and speculate as to whether you know how to land a plane. If so, sprint left. If not, sprint right.

Sprint Right because the TV is a loyal companion and it would never lie to you.

NEVER.

SaL 2012/01/23(Mon)14:17 No. 381727 ID: 230455
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>Scream in panic because oh god there's a gun and a weird tv screen and uh some cigarettes? oh god

“Scream? This is no time for panic. Now, where on earth am I?”

The man stands up and brushes out a few wrinkles in his suit. He peers out of one of the half-uncovered windows and is greeted by the sight of an unbroken expanse of ocean.

Oh God maybe it really is time for panic. But... no, no. I can get out of this. I just have to stay calm.

>Then pocket everything, equip gun, and speculate as to whether you know how to land a plane. If so, sprint left. If not, sprint right.

“Well, I took a few weeks’ worth of flight training about thirty years ago. But I’m sure the gentleman piloting this plane knows what he’s doing. Also, I have... ‘equipped’ the gun. I don’t feel any safer, though. To be honest, I’ve never touched a gun in my life. As for the other object, it's a simple lighter.”

>>381727
The plane seems to be randomly tilting back and forth and you just heard screaming from the cockpit. You should probably get up there.

SaL 2012/01/23(Mon)16:17 No. 381749 ID: 230455
File 132736426001.jpg - (91.52KB , 550x375 , allaboard.jpg )

(oops. glitch in the matrix.)

>Sprint Right because the TV is a loyal companion and it would never lie to you.

The man decides to check out the right side of the room first and slips the lighter into his pants pocket. The only exit appears to be boarded up with plywood.


>The plane seems to be randomly tilting back and forth and you just heard screaming from the cockpit. You should probably get up there.

"I don't hear anything, and the plane seems to be doing just fine right now."

Alright, let's check out the non-blocked path then.

Well, there's nowhere to go in that direction, and you're a bit confused as to the situation, so you might as well stick your head in the cockpit and ask the pilot where you are and what's going on. Flying level over open ocean like this he won't have much to do, so he might appreciate the company anyway.

SaL 2012/01/23(Mon)17:51 No. 381772 ID: 230455
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>Alright, let's check out the non-blocked path then.

At the other end of the room is a curtain, which the man slides out of his way to reveal a small kitchen. Several lights slowly come to life as the he enters the room.

Woah woah woah, don't go waving the gun around like that unless you plan to shoot someone!

Anyway, keep going. The one place you can be sure is manned is the cockpit, and you need to talk to someone to find out what's going on here.

If there are any cookies, grab a couple. I'm sure he'd appreciate a snack, and you could use one yourself, just having woken up and all.

SaL 2012/01/24(Tue)01:26 No. 381840 ID: 230455
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>Woah woah woah, don't go waving the gun around like that unless you plan to shoot someone! Anyway, keep going. The one place you can be sure is manned is the cockpit, and you need to talk to someone to find out what's going on here. If there are any cookies, grab a couple. I'm sure he'd appreciate a snack, and you could use one yourself, just having woken up and all.

"Right." He lowers the weapon. "As I said, I don't know how to use a gun. I'm aware that there is a safety, and that it must be 'off' to shoot, but that's about the extent of my knowledge."

The man searches each and every drawer. They are all empty, save one cabinet on the bottom row. The suited man picks up the machete and tucks it up to its hilt in his leather belt.

Despite being unfamiliar with their mechanics, I feel that I would fare better fighting with a gun than a weapon that must have space to swing in order to be effective.

>>381840
Do you remember where you were before you woke up on this plane?

Dont at any point fire unless you have to. no holes in the plane, thanks.

SaL 2012/01/24(Tue)18:47 No. 381950 ID: d95cf4
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The blonde man passes through the kitchen and into a small white room crowded into the left side of the plane. On the right there is a door marked ‘Lavatory’. On the left is one of the exits to the plane.

> Do you remember where you were before you woke up on this plane?

“I... do not.” He pauses for a moment in front of the cockpit door, trying to remember.

This is odd. My brain feels foggy. I guess I should just start with I know... my name is Alan Johansen, I am a freelance financial advisor. Yes, it was definitely something to do with my job... I believe I must have been travelling to meet a client? No, I must have been travelling back from visiting him. It was Mr. Rosche? But wait – something about Laura? Ah, it isn’t coming back fast enough. I will deal with this later.

“Actually, I was hoping that you would be able to tell me why I am here.” he says aloud, looking suspiciously at the ceiling. “Where are the cameras? The microphones? And who are you?”

>>381950
I don't think there are any cameras or microphones, good sir.

Who's Laura?

Mr. Johansen, we are quite as perplexed at the situation as you are.
You should probably assist the man in the cockpit, i don't think he knows how to fly a plane at all.
And try not to startle him too badly, he seems the jumpy sort.

SaL 2012/01/24(Tue)21:48 No. 382002 ID: d95cf4
File 132747050221.jpg - (118.95KB , 539x360 , sjcockpit.jpg )

> I don't think there are any cameras or microphones, good sir. Who's Laura?

“Laura? She’s my daughter.”

How do they know about her? They must have gone through my phone while I was unconscious. Johansen pats his pocket to check for his cell phone – it’s still there. Questions later. First thing’s first – get this plane business sorted out.


> You should probably assist the man in the cockpit, i don't think he knows how to fly a plane at all. And try not to startle him too badly, he seems the jumpy sort.

Johansen slowly opens the cockpit door, holding the gun behind his back. The door swings open silently to reveal a man in a purple hoodie hunched over one set of controls.

Mr. Smith appears to be fiddling intently with one of the dials and does not hear the man come in.

“Um, hello?” the suited man asks quietly. Alan jerks back at the sound of another voice, his forearm knocking into the steering stick and causing the plane’s nose to tilt toward the sky.

“Whoah! HO-ly SHIT you do not just sneak up on a man like that!” Alan Smith exclaims, frantically but gently tapping the steering controls to get the plane to level out again.

“Sorry.” Responds the businessman. Jumpy. Right. “Look,” he continues, “Explanations can wait, but I do need to know a few things. You’re obviously not a pilot. I can see that. But you’re also not one of the voices that I’ve been hearing over the intercom. How many other people are on this plane?”

“Ohohoh, heyyy,” the purple man replies, looking a little relieved. “That’s awesome. You’ve been hearing voices too? I thought it was just me going crazy.”

“You mean they're not coming from the speakers?” Johansen asks, frowning a little.

“Yeah! Hey, nice to meet you. My name’s Alan, and I sure as fuck hope that you can fly a plane.” He extends his hand, but Johansen flinches and takes a step back.

“No, my name is Alan. Who the hell are you?” Johansen demands. He instinctively brings the gun out from behind his back, but refrains from pointing it anywhere just yet.

Worry about names later. The plane isn't exactly the best place to worry about someone sharing a rather common first name.

His name is Alan Smith. It's just a coincidence. And no, we didn't go through your phone while you were unconscious.

We can hear what you're thinking.

Mind calming down, and just working on getting this plane landed without killing everyone on board? Thaaaaat's a good chap.

>>382002

We will answer questions about our nature once you are safe. For now, think of us as minimum intervention meddlers. We can suggest a course of action, nothing more.

Examine the cockpit controls. Steady the steering stick thing. Notice the nearby island the only land amid a calm blue sea. Currently none of us know a flipping thing about landing a plane safely. Previous advice re-broadcast for the benefit of Mr. Johansen.

>>378122
>>378461
>>378708

tl;dr reduce throttle to slow down, but pause when nose starts to dip, put both levers in center console to the same position, deploy "flaps" when close to the surface, locate life jackets, pray you don't stall.

Apparently you are all Alan. Do people always freak out when they meet someone who shares their name? Or are you lot just terrified out of your worthless minds?

Alan, Alan. Alan, Alan.
Introductions over, time got get on with the not-dying-in-a-horrible-plane-crash-ing.

SaL 2012/01/26(Thu)17:35 No. 382446 ID: e24416
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“WHOAH man, calm down there! No need to freak out,” A. Smith exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air in front of him. “You want to be Alan? You got it! I’ll just be John Doe or whatever. Now what we need to do is just NOT PANIC...”

> We can hear what you're thinking.
AJ: Preposterous.

> Worry about names later. The plane isn't exactly the best place to worry about someone sharing a rather common first name.
“Yes, alright.” Johansen says, sounding a bit irritated. He tucks the gun into his belt on the side opposite the machete. “Quit that babbling; we’ll get out of this.”

SaL 2012/01/26(Thu)17:46 No. 382456 ID: e24416
File 132762876265.jpg - (146.86KB , 550x375 , jsfly.jpg )

> Examine the cockpit controls. Steady the steering stick thing. Notice the nearby island the only land amid a calm blue sea. Currently none of us know a flipping thing about landing a plane safely. Previous advice re-broadcast for the benefit of Mr. Johansen.
“Okay,” says Johansen, taking the other seat. “I’ll take over the flying from here. You just try to get the radio working now.”

“Rrright. You see, though, I’ve been having issues with that whole ‘radio’ thing. See, this thing that LOOKS like a radio up here is actually probably some weird kind of tape player.” Smith sticks a finger into the tape holder to prove his point. “But I’m not done checking the rest of the dashboard, so there might be something there. Oh yeah and that ‘Alart’ thing hasn’t said anything about the fuel or the cargo since you voicey doo-dads left. Now it’s just stuck on some weird computer shit. Ah, look, the screen’s coming up again.”

A. Johansen holds up a hand to silence him. “I’ve got to focus now. Just do what you can. If you can’t get it in a few minutes just start looking for life vests. It looks like we’re still several minutes away from the island, but I’m going to start taking us down now, just in case the engine shits out. Fuel levels are low, but I estimate we could get about half an hour off it based on what these gauges are telling me. But I’ve never flown something this large before, so I’m really not sure.” He grabs onto the controls and tilts them slightly. The plane lurches a bit before sliding into a shallow decline.

SaL 2012/01/26(Thu)17:46 No. 382457 ID: e24416
File 132762881292.png - (3.32KB , 550x375 , dark.png )

Elsewhere on the plane, another man is finally awoken by the turbulence.






It is dark.

Flail.

Feel around. Get an idea of your surroundings.

Feel your crotch. Make sure you're really a man.

PUSH BUTTAN

SaL 2012/01/26(Thu)23:34 No. 382554 ID: e24416
File 132764965648.jpg - (64.99KB , 550x375 , cratenbarrel.jpg )

> Feel around. Get an idea of your surroundings.

I appear to be in a box. Wood, from the feel of it. The crate is hardly large enough to hold me, and the earth seems to be moving somewhat. I do believe I may be on a ship.

> Feel your crotch. Make sure you're really a man.

Not necessary. I've been drugged, but I'm not that disoriented.

> PUSH BUTTAN

The man cautiously pushes against the lid of the box. It rises without resistance.

SaL 2012/01/26(Thu)23:39 No. 382555 ID: e24416
File 132764994786.jpg - (58.77KB , 550x375 , whatsintheboxes.jpg )

The man stands up and steps out of the now-open crate to reveal that he is in a small, dark room. The only light comes from a tiny blue LED in one corner. There are several odd windows along two walls, but they have been completely blacked out, perhaps with paint.

The only objects of note not shown in the above image are the open crate the man stepped out of and one additional crate behind him.

READ AIRCONDITIONING

SaL 2012/01/27(Fri)00:27 No. 382564 ID: e24416
File 132765286501.jpg - (78.02KB , 550x375 , buttons0.jpg )

> READ AIRCONDITIONING

I assume you mean the object that's lit up. It's a safe.

Open the other crates if you can. There might be other people!

>>382564
I wonder if the code is around somewhere. Checking the other boxes might get you somewhere. I'd also check to see if there's anything past the boards blocking further progress- knock on it to find that out- or if it's solid.

THIS IS BORING I mean, look for a way to open the other crate.

Are you accustomed to voices in your head?
Because you're the first person we've met on this plane to use proper thought-speak instead of just answering out loud.

Anyway, you should search for something to pry that door open.

AMANDA NO

SaL 2012/02/10(Fri)15:44 No. 385652 ID: b3c09b
File 132891746771.jpg - (96.25KB , 375x550 , box.jpg )

>Are you accustomed to voices in your head?
No, can’t say that I am. But I have seen my fair share of strange things in my life, and I’ve always found it better to just roll with the punches rather than stop to wonder why they were thrown.

> Open the other crates if you can. There might be other people!
He opens the large box laying diagonally on another two.
Ah, it’s my belongings.
Inside is:
EAGLE HEAD WALKING STICK
HAT
HIP FLASK
MOBILE PHONE
NOTE
SUNGLASSES
FLASH LIGHT

All 3 of the remaining boxes have their lids loosely nailed shut, but they should be easy to open with the right leverage.

SaL 2012/02/10(Fri)15:47 No. 385654 ID: b3c09b
File 132891763913.jpg - (111.02KB , 550x375 , agunn.jpg )

He equips everything (except for the sunglasses; that would just be silly) and reads the note.

Mr. Gunn –

As much as I hate to intervene, I understand that you are in a bit of a time crunch. Allow me to provide you with a set of clues.

I recommend that you take the “safe” way out. Unfortunately, the code to your salvation is not located in this room.
To escape this, you must rely on the collective consciousness to which you now play host. They can alart you to things that you yourself cannot see.
Your concerns right now are "binary" - first, escape this room. Second, try to land the plane safely. I apologize for the shoddy state of affairs, but this whole thing had to be set up rather quickly.

Now hurry.
-W


Hm. Curious.

The code is
01010011011000010110011001100101
You're welcome.

>>385662
Yes, punch this in and it should unlock.

Also, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that your first name is Alan?

>>385654
>>385654
>They can alart you to things that you yourself cannot see.
>alart
Whoever this bastard is, he's the one behind the plane and everything else, too!

Landing first. Don't forget to inspect the crates after you've put down though.

>>385662
My my, so confident that this twelve button keypad only needs the two buttons. Without any effort at checking your work, maybe the code is 1398892133?

>>387071
he said "binary"

Binary means composed of two pieces or two parts
>"binary" - first, escape this room. Second, try to land the plane safely
That being said, it can't hurt to try to punch in that code.

Yes, he said binary. But giving a clue is not the same as telling us the format of the solution. Just trying to keep minds open. The ten digit number I listed is the decimal equivalent of that 32 bit key.