Ask me Questions!
Roll for initiative!
How derp are you?
>>371236 How derp am I? I'm so derp that I once derped with a herp.
What's the inventory look like?
>>371238 You have a gun with no ammo, a banana, a spatula, and a key with some kind of symbol on it.
What are the numbers for?
>>371239 Stick the banana in your ear.
>>371241 The numbers are boxes, each with their own individual number.
>>371243 lolk
So open the boxes.
>>371248 Opening box number 1
>>371249 Inside you find a baby monkey!
>>371233 Cram the monkey into the gun. Use his simian shapeshifting powers to use him as ammunition for the gun.
>>371253 Done.
A new layout of the inventory
Box #2?
>>371256 Opening box #2...
>>371257 Porkchops!!!
Eat porkchops.
>>371259 You eat one of the pork chops and feel full.
BOX THREE, BITCH OPEN THAT SHIT.
>>371261 lolk
>>371262 Inside you find...stairs? O_o
Take some of the stairs. We may need them later.
>>371265 These stairs cannot be be takin, they are connected to the ground.
Take the stairs by descending them.
>>371270 You go down the stairs and come to a dark room.
Check next to the door for a switch
>>371273 Fumble around for a lightswitch.
>>371274 >>371275 You finds a light switch, which reveals a cheese wheel and a lockbox on a podium.
take cheese unlock box
use key on lockbox
>>371279 >>371280 You take the cheese, memorized by it's size. and deliciousness.
>>371280 >>371279 and then you go open the lockbox lawl.
>>371273 Wait, wait, wait. Why don't we have a shadow?
>>371280 >>371279 You find a crudely drawn baby crocodile! And he looks hungry.
>>371284 Because derp that's why.
feed that fucker some chops
>>371233 Eat da cheese.
>>371291 He feeds the baby croc a pork chop.
>>371296 The croc reacts to the porkchop and turns into the CROCROCKLAUNCHER!!!
>>371292 Gladly he begins to eat the cheese.
>>371300 You have acquired the cheese helmet!
go back upstairs i guess if there's nothing left
>>371305 You seem confused, the way back up reveals a new door, and the 1st and 2nd boxes missing...
That door will feel my lacy, lavender scented wrath as we walk through it. GO THROUGH THAT FUCKING DOOR.
>>371233 WAIT. Do a spot check first and search the immediate area. Keep the gun ready. Someone or something took boxes one and two, and he/she/it may not be friendly. He/she/it may still be around.
Haha, this is funny. Use your powers of DERP to frighten off wouldbe assailants!