Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)11:35 No. 35523 ID: 45afb1
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"A girl friend."

"HONEY! DON'T FORGET TO SEPARATE THE DARKS FROM THE LIGHTS THIS TIME!"

Oh shit. She's not kidding, man. Seperate the light ones from the dark ones properly! Seriously!

>>35523
A the scourge of all evil beings and to think you could have gotten a succubus if you'd gone down the demonic path in your training.
Oh well maybe you'll meet a lint monster and earn a little XP.

>>35523

Fuck yes Mini Lich!

Don't annoy your kobold wife, do as yer told. How is the deal going? Y'know, the one where we get workers for food?

>>35523
You have clothes that aren't black or dark red?
What the hell, man.

And why do you have a washer/dryer combo, anyway?

Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)11:47 No. 35534 ID: 45afb1
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"I WON'T DEAR!" That should keep her stalled.

"..."

"What do we have here?"

>>35534

Don't you dare sniff them, or I won't help you anymore.

>>35534
Don't you dare not sniff them, or I won't help you anymore.

Fine, fine I'll still help but I'll be tutting all the way through!

>>35534
Dark load.
>>35538
He doesn't have a nose.

Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)11:57 No. 35542 ID: 45afb1
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>>35535
>>35538
>>35540
"FINE! I won't sniff em... I'm just gonna... hold onto em for later... you know, hand wash em and stuff."

Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)12:08 No. 35546 ID: 45afb1
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"HONEY! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU? THE BONDAGE GEAR DOES NOT GO IN WITH THE REGULAR LAUNDRY?"

"SORRY DEAR! I JUST THROW IT WHEREVER YOU KNOW? NOT MY FAULT IF IT GETS MIXED IN WITH THE LAUNDRY!"

"WELL IF YOU JUST PUT IT AWAY THEN WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION EVERY OTHER WEEK!"

"What? Just cus I can't enjoy myself doesn't mean she can't. Plus at least I get some peace and quiet when she puts the gag in... Creativity is the key to pleasure my friends."

>>35546
You should really start looking into that Polymorph self spell.

>>35546
So does she use the saddle soap on it, or is that your job?

Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)15:03 No. 35592 ID: 45afb1
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>>35562
"HA! She wishes. It's her pleasure every time we go, so if she wants it, she has to work for it. She does all the erotic shit I couldn't give a fuck about. Those panties really do need to get hand washed by the way."

>>35558
"I'm working on it... constantly. All I've gotten so far is the ability to transform into a small version of a some animal's skeleton."

>>35592
Well, any transformation is a step in the right direction.

By the way, how long has it been since we last spoke with you?

Got any kobold dead raised yet?

>>35592

Why do you even have a girlfriend?

>>35609
To cement an alliance.

And for eventual Evil Eye Candy later on.

Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)15:37 No. 35611 ID: 45afb1
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>>35603
"I think it's been about one... no, two months? Hard to tell without a way to tell time around here. Anyway, I've had a good flow of dead bolds for a while now, most of them are working in the gardens and pampering Jas while I hold the fort. Its not too bad, but I still need more before I can start raiding anything big. On that note, the kobold village is still keeping it's promise and I'm keeping mine so its all good on that end."

>>35611
Hrm. Any way to kombine kobold skeletons, and make a bone golem of superior quality to the original skeletons? And maybe use it as a way of telling clans to get along? I don't know, but you will need at least a couple elite units if you want your army to be effective.

Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)17:04 No. 35617 ID: 45afb1
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>>35616
"Huh... never thought about that... I think I could make one, but I have no idea how to do it."

"..."

"Jesum Crow, is this like the bottomless laundry bag or something?"

Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)17:05 No. 35618 ID: 45afb1
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"WOAH!"

Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)17:06 No. 35619 ID: 45afb1
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"God damnit. Jas left the JRPG scroll in her pocket again."

*Que generic JRPG battle music*

Attack
>Magic
Item
Run

Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)17:20 No. 35623 ID: 45afb1
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>>35620

>>35623
Will Meteor Crush do any damage to the building? What's Spikey Path?

Rowan 2009/08/28(Fri)17:31 No. 35625 ID: 45afb1
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>>35624
Spikey Path: A spell that curses the ground in a certain area that is activated when that area is entered upon by anyone whom the caster does not approve. When activated stone spikes break through said area causing massive damage.

"And yes, casting Meteor Crush would most likely cause some serious damage to my castle."

>>35625

Summon some dead and let them do the laundry... I mean vanquish your enemies.