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Shining Fair Glory
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Oh yeah.. I did miss! Horribly so. I was standing there, trying to desperately get the trajectory right, then my mother said some words of encouragement. I guess I didn’t hear exactly what she said because in a stupefied manner, I turn around and unload the contents of my small bladder all over her pants’ leg!
She was rather upset, to say the least. She raised her voice, but never laid a hand on me. I promised in my limited vocabulary to do better next time and she took it to heart. I did, obviously. Managing one’s penis isn’t exactly rocket surgery, as the malformed expression goes.
There’s a big gap, though. Or at least, it seems so. The next thing I remember is shopping for Halloween, again with my endearing matriarch figure. It must have been the year 1990. This must have been my first year I was able to pick out something for Halloween, because I remember my mother getting mildly frustrated with my inability to choose from all the costumes available. She had to break it down into simple choices my little mind could handle.
There was the Ghost Buster, an intelligent, albeit sometimes snarky man of pseudo-science that utilizes science and gadgetry to capture incorporeal entities, as well as refer to a man’s lack of genitalia.
There was also the Ninja Turtle, an anthropomorphic creature who’s ironic agility was lost on most children, but craving for greasy slice of convolutedly constructed pizza was not.
Indiana Jones was also a present in this cavalcade of nostalgia. This adventuring archeologist was a man of many hats (well, technically, just the one) that was charismatically portrayed by Harrison Ford.
Who could forgot that ol‘ standby, Batman? His strength was marveled by my youthful brain and I was convinced he could take on and defeat Superman before I fully understood the mechanics of either superhero.
I was also given the option to dress up as Jedi. Their perceptive knowledge and use of the Force had me running about the house, trying to utilize my mind with manipulate people and/or objects with mostly resounding failures (It does, however, work perfectly on automated grocery store doors).
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