Lest we forget, this is F-ED UP Galcon Coal 2011/02/12(Sat)13:18 No. 281128 ID: c736a3
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Ah yes, the good land of piles'o'dung, if it weren't for this place i'd be living on the beaches in hawaii... can't believe i stepped in fresh crust... stupid crap mountains... just gotta keep going, specially for those provisions in crow base...

mmmmmmmmm, salsabury steak... best damn rations i've ever heard of.... now... where was it again?

lets see.... south? North? Northwest? Southwest?
can't believe i forgot where the hell crow base was...

Stupid place, ruins in the middle of what used to be wisconsin... Hills as high as the eyes can see... stupid hicks even built a wall... lotta good that stopped inter-galactic waste dumping...

Where the hell is crow base?
Straight North means i have to go through the hole in the wall-- hate to run into scrab-ites (the aliens)
Northwest means i walk around the wall, but also means i may walk right past crow base
Straight South... Right back over the shit-hills
Southwest.... god, i absolutely hate to run right through a scrab-ite pile, but if i have to


Lets think about our supplies.... one vorpalium blade (sweet ass sword), 20hrs of air, space suit (currently equipped), Mediocre air filter (breathable, doesn't stop the horrid smell), and at least my whits and manliness... maybe not my whits

>>281128
North!

SCRABS, like crabs... but stink Galcon Coal 2011/02/12(Sat)14:44 No. 281137 ID: c736a3
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>>281135

north, that sounds right... salsbury steak, here i come...

alright, so i've made it to the hole... now to jump on that pile over there and 'mario' into that ho- "SH*T" *scrab-ite jumps from the shadows*

*stab* "WHAT, NOT AFTER MY STEAK ARE YOU? COME GET SOME!!!!"

welp... mochismo asside, i just screwed myself...

*surrounded by 7 scrabs*

I'm gonna need some inspiration here, something goddamn epic i hope.

>>281137
Throw the corpse of the one you killed at them and attack before they get the time to spread out. Don't let the little fuckers surround you or get behind you. Keep slaying until you have slayed them all and then roar out your manliness across the desolate shitplains.

Points... love points... LEAP Galcon Coal 2011/02/12(Sat)15:27 No. 281148 ID: c736a3
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>>281142

yes, this sh*t-bug makes a great improv. tool, lets do this b*tches

The dead scrab bounces off one of the other's heads which causes the other scrabs to pause to investigate what i threw at them...

nobody said these things were smart, but that gives me enough to to drop 10 on these b*tches

I dynamically leap at the swarm of bugs screaming "THE STEAK CAN ONLY BE EATEN BY ONE!!!!"

*-3 scrabs at first initiative as i rip these f*ckers heads off*

"HAH, you won't get any meaty earth man by being pansies!!!"

*scrabs attack Galcon dealing scratches*

6/6pts of hp remain
5/6pts of def (space suit) remain
4 scrabs remain

>>281148
Only four of them remain. Kick shit into their eyes and then slash them apart with your mighty blade. Once they have died the shitty wasteland shall hear the roar of a mighty human winner.

End Battle 1 bamump 2011/02/14(Mon)15:04 No. 281590 ID: 1f2692
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SH*T YEAH, LETS TAKE THESE SUNS'O'BITCHES DOWN

*sword toss eliminates 1 scrab*

the lunge coal has taken lands on 2 scrabs
*2 scrabs eliminated*

welp, i think i should let this shithole know who the king is around here

*coal eliminates the final scrab and with a pole fashions it into an instrument weapon*

*scrab-banjo obtained- scrab-banjo equipped*

lets see... smoke on the water sounds like a good beginning...

*coal plays an altogether rough banjo version of smoke on the water*

heh

--------------------------------------- battle over

rewards:
scrab-banjo x1
3 potential + 1 awesome point= 4 potential

(i'll make a discussion thread which explains this potential thing and all the neat things able to be done with it... along with other miscellaneous info...
http://tgchan.org/kusaba/qestdis/res/341028.html )

>>281590
Fuck man, you really are king of the shitwasteland. Ok, lets get moving before more bugs show up.

Epic Fail Survival bamump 2011/02/21(Mon)12:48 No. 283134 ID: 1f2692
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I completely forgot where i was going with this

he HAH, yep... i suck, anywho i'll still try to continue, but it is now officially downgraded to a derp quest

now where was i... oh yes--

Meanwhile, back at base bamump 2011/02/21(Mon)13:21 No. 283147 ID: 1f2692
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Galcon coal was traipzing through the sh*twastes, playing music in his new scrab-banjo, when finally he reached crow base

"kaw," says crow base

"nice'n to meetcha, crow base," coal replies

Galcon enters into crow base and is confronted by 3 doors

the first door is an in-depth illustration of a polar bear stuck in a snow storm, how artistic

The second door is an off white huge door, re-dunculus!!!, who knows what a big door holds, maybe big stuff

and the third door is sort of an eggshell color door, that is perfectly rectangular and pleasing the the aesthetics

but which to choose, this is a tuffy

>>283147
Polar bear door.

Random Encounter bamump 2011/02/21(Mon)14:11 No. 283168 ID: 1f2692
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alrighty, so you look at the neat artsy door, and attempt to open it when it starts to growl at you...

"What the crap-" RANDOM ENCOUNTER POLAR BEAR

For what it's worth bears can't run very fast downhill. That will give you an opening to uppercut it in the face. Can you lead this bear to a slope?

Otherwise draw your sword and run into a wall like an idiot and play dead. When the bear comes to check you out stab it in the face and mock it for falling for the simplest trick in the book.

>>283168
Use COMBAT OPERANDI -> GLOBAL WARMING

Show that smug arctic animal who's the boss.

@update bamump 2011/02/27(Sun)11:17 No. 284742 ID: f7aa74
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>>283384

WAIT, I FINALLY HAVE A GREAT IDEA,

i summon the sun

@finishupdate bamump 2011/02/27(Sun)11:19 No. 284744 ID: f7aa74
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*polarbear defeated*
>you gain
-2 potential
-dead bear bones

alrighty, time to search the room, where to start first though...

>>284744
Eat the food in the cage, check the cabinet for a new party member.

see if caged thing talks.

@update bamump 2011/02/28(Mon)12:27 No. 285091 ID: 1f2692
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>check the cabinet for a new party member

well lets see here... OH BABY

yes, i have found a new friend, and her name is G.A.W

>G.A.W Acquired

>>285091
Proclaim your love for her and get married on the spot.

>>285091
Wait... naval battleships the size of continents?
My god, the pre-apocalypse world must have been extremely hardcore.

@update bamump 2011/03/01(Tue)12:24 No. 285395 ID: 1f2692
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>>285097

and yes, it was

>Proclaim your love for her and get married on the spot.

hey, do you speak

[???] um... yeah

[coal] I NEED YOU TO MARRY US!!!

[???] wha... um... but i'm not a pastor

[coal] do it, or i'll eat you

[???] Alright, fine, i pronounce you man and gun... go live a crazy life somewhere else or something

>>285395
Excellent. Time for the honeymoon. Go take your wife and find something to shoot with her.

Wait. Talk to this dude, find out who he is and why he's here.

oh yes, he may be an exposition fairy. after he is done THEN find stuff for your wife to destroy.

>>285395
Why does he look like a shirt with a pair of pants on?

@update bamump 2011/03/01(Tue)13:45 No. 285424 ID: 1f2692
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>>285399

[coal] hey thingie, what the heck are you... i thought this place was deserted

[???] FOOL, HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME AS SUCH!!
I am quiet possibly the most powerful being on your world.

[coal] >look like a shirt with a pair of pants on

[???] W-what!? No, i'm a gremlin!! I have the very power to build and destroy any machine you could ever think to put before me! I used to work for the GreyMage company before this 'crap-pocalypse' happened. After then, i've just been wandering around and was unnexpectadly caught by some idiot named Jim. These floppy things on my head ARE NOT EARS, they're wifi antennae that i use to pick up radio waves... and the name of this all powerfal being is kilobyte....

um... yeah... i guess i'm done now... so, what's your name?

>>285424
Ask him if there's any cool place sending out waves that you can go look up.

@update bamump 2011/03/01(Tue)14:26 No. 285444 ID: 1f2692
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>there's any cool place sending out waves that I can go look up

[kilobyte] welp... lemme scan... yep, next room over... but the door is locked, needs a key

Take gremlin, shoot at connecting wall.

you just got the BEST gun. no wall or door can stop you. just make sure you lower the power so it doesn't blow you up with the back blast.

Kilobyte Fun Fact bamump 2011/03/01(Tue)14:43 No. 285468 ID: 1f2692
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[kilobyte] OH HELL NO, YOUR NOT THINKIN ANYTHING STUPID ARE YOU!?

Lemme give you the basic run down on that fancy cannon you have their...
It shoots torpedoes that contain little dimensional rifts, these rifts dissipate real quickly so the effect only lasts a couple of seconds.... BUT THE DAMN RIFT IS THE SIZE OF SEARS TOWER, so i would advise not using it in the base

get sad. then say "FINE" and look for the stupid key.

Take gremlin.

Shoot at connecting wall.

>>285468
Ask him if he can locate something fun to shoot at then.

@update bamump 2011/03/02(Wed)09:25 No. 285696 ID: f7aa74
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[coal]i want shoosting time, are you denying me shoosting time?

[kilobyte] GOD, what the hell is wrong with you, fine... we'll shoot some building or something after we get outta here

[coal] we... your tagging along, eh?

*kilobyte nods*
>kilobyte is now a playable character

[coal] alright, lets find us a key or something then.

>>285696
It's probably among one of those bones in that pile, let the searching commence!

@update bamump 2011/03/02(Wed)13:25 No. 285730 ID: 1f2692
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>>285697

why yes... yes, it's GOTTA BE here somewhere...
lets check the bones

>>285730
Tip locker over in impotent rage over not being allowed to find anything to shoot.

Pick up annoyingly obvious key.

keep searching bones. that key simply teleported into existence after you talked about needing a key. it's obviously a trap.

@update Galcon Coal 2011/03/03(Thu)12:01 No. 285904 ID: 1f2692
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>Pick up annoyingly obvious key.

[kilobyte] oh... i think i found something, could be the key

>that key simply teleported into existence after you talked about needing a key. it's obviously a trap

[coal] WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

wtf!? Galcon Coal 2011/03/03(Thu)12:02 No. 285905 ID: 1f2692
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*smack*
[coal] there we go, no evil teleporting key to worry about now.

>>285905
Just try the key out on the door anyway.
What's the worst that could happen? That the key turned out to be an evil alien in disguise?

okay, that slap may have knocked it out. use it on the door before it wakes it!

>>285905
Let ugly gremlin handle obviously trapped and cursed key. Tell it to get us out of here so we can find something cool as fuck to shoot with the waifu.

@update Galcon Coal 2011/03/03(Thu)14:45 No. 285960 ID: 1f2692
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[kilobyte] JEEZ, your an idiot

>>285910
>>285949
>>285908

[coal] ... alright... i'll let you hand the key... and open the room next door... with that key... which i hope isn't possesed or anything

[???] you know, your friend their isn't very bright, is he?

[kilobyte] nope, and we just met, makes me wonder about humans these days

[???] indeed, besides earth, all the people have turned to rubbish

[kilobyte]yep, i mean... i mean... wait a second ...

[???] ello der, me names gate... you can stop with the manhandling now

>>285960
See, told ya. Now tell Gate to open a gateway to some cool place where we can fire the gun and detroy some awesome shit.

be smug about how you guessed right.

>>285960
Suddenly realize that imbecilic as he is, HE'S SMARTER THAN YOU.