>>322072
Her "special talents" would make for a pretty unique movie. And illegal on most civilized planets.

Throne FIRST fuck later.

>>322054
I dont think John has ever given you an actual choice in anything up to now. Just make sure Tom's your co-star.

>>322054
No time for stardom, there's FREEDOME to be had still

be the star of the throne.

Sir Double-Faggot 2011/07/05(Tue)15:36 No. 322098 ID: 4183c9
File 130990537155.png - (52.61KB , 870x570 , 06-23.png )

Speaking of Tom, you're pretty sure he'll die soon unless you help him.

Not that you're a doctor, but call it feminine intuition. Or, you know, common sense.

On the other hand, if you don't help him, you could go straight to throne or stardom or whatever you fucking well please. You just have to decide what you want - instead of, you know, just standing around wondering at everything and being distracted by anything shiny like some elf with mental and medical issues.

sorry, but that is impossible, can only recommend stuff and then leave it to you to decide. if it was me, i'd help tom. but that's me. what do YOU want joan?

>>322098

top priority is to help Tom.

wait, scratch that. top priority is to slap yourself for comparing yourself to an elf.

>>322098
Drag Tom to throne fix him investigate kilt mysteries

>>322098
Lets go and give Tom some booze so that he can get back on his feet. He's a scotsman, so booze should be all that's necessary.

FIX Tom

Easy solution to John being unhelpful is to agree to what she wants in exchange for her help saving Tom first, and only if she doesn't fuck it up.

yeah, drag tom over to the others so that if he DOES die he'll at least die a STAR

Why did you abandon him for booze, you heartless bitch? Go help him. And after he's been seen to enough that he'll make a decent recovery, go and do this probably erotic thing John wants you to do, she said it would be fun anyway.

Drink TOM.
Fuck BOOZE.
Fix BITCHES.

Sir Double-Faggot 2011/07/06(Wed)09:23 No. 322380 ID: 4183c9
File 130996943256.png - (131.52KB , 870x570 , 06-24.png )

You've heard mead has healing properties. Some say it can even heal missing bodyparts - according to legend, if you drink mead and your arm or eye or whatever doesn't regenerate within the next week, you need to prepare to fight the copy of you that regenerated from your missing part. Or maybe it's just that if you drink enough, you'll start seeing double - even yourself. And all the signs of "fighting" are from your drunken stumbling or other unspecified acts.

Well, here goes nothing.

For science.

Sir Double-Faggot 2011/07/06(Wed)09:24 No. 322382 ID: 4183c9
File 130996946217.png - (80.91KB , 870x570 , 06-25.png )

Yup, good as new!

>>322382
See, he's a true scotsman. Now grab a keg each and go a somewhat more secluded place, get drunk and find out if it's true what they say about what's under the kilt.

invite John, too.

Yes, time for celebratory boning. Claim Tom as your wench. Or vice versa, whichever one of you wants to wear the pants in the relationship.

>>322394
I don't think either of them wear pants.

>>322382
Go to throne. Sit on throne. Exit throne, sit Tom on throne. Sit on Tom. Repeat final step.

>>322412

Kinky.

>>322382

Hurrah! Now let's away to the sexmobile! Careful of John and her camera though.

>>322382
back to the sexy party to investigate their musings!

[explicit sex scene] Sir Double-Faggot 2011/07/06(Wed)15:43 No. 322519 ID: 4183c9
File 130999219209.png - (200.80KB , 870x570 , 06-26.png )

Yeah, you've definitely earned this!

Mmm, just doing this makes it hard to think straight.

Sir Double-Faggot 2011/07/06(Wed)15:43 No. 322520 ID: 4183c9
File 130999223357.png - (206.21KB , 870x570 , 06-27.png )

Ah!

Can't.

Think.

Ah!

At.

All!

[/explicit sex scene] Sir Double-Faggot 2011/07/06(Wed)15:44 No. 322521 ID: 4183c9
File 130999227036.png - (104.62KB , 870x570 , 06-28.png )

czlngliv lfilixnziuxcly lfuh asj zkuhlaizcuefafskauly

To wit: that was awesome. Hot dickings are the best!

the fact that I noticed it at all probably says something about my sexuality, but there's people peeking through the door.

looks like you are gonna be a star anyway. john has the camera.

>>322521
You earned it girl. Now lets go show off your catch to your grandparents and mother. Need to get their approval as well.

>>322521

John! Upload the film to a free porn site before she realizes! Then we can both see hot sexings and avoid getting a gold account!

>>322521

I bet those boobs feel like lovely bags of sand...

Damn right they're watching, that was an explicit sex scene worthy of respect and awe. Indeed, if anyone didn't see it they would be forced to live the rest of their lives in a grey haze knowing they had missed something truly awesome.

>>322584
Indeed. I'm so glad I got that gold account.

joan is too much woman for one person.

Useful suggestions there, guys. 11/10.

Take it to the discus thread. >>/questdis/339630

>>322521
Ask how he feels about John perhaps joining in next time?

>>322521
( assuming it is pointless to point the camera out to Joan )

Get dressed once you can think straight, and find out how rich you got becoming the ruler of this elf-smeared hole in the ground.

>>322521
k, now go find your elf slave and make them carry all your stuff.

Sir Double-Faggot 2011/07/14(Thu)15:06 No. 326381 ID: 4183c9
File 131068119607.png - (77.22KB , 870x570 , 06-29.png )

>Ask how he feels about John perhaps joining in next time?
...Maybe it would've been better to keep your mouth shut, Joan.

Sir Double-Faggot 2011/07/14(Thu)15:06 No. 326382 ID: 4183c9
File 131068121701.png - (118.63KB , 870x570 , 06-30.png )

Luckily your dorfservant expedited the process by pre-emptively bringing you clothes. It's some very old type of traditional dorfish garment.

But now what? Should you go straight to the throne room or do you want to gather everyone up first? Proper dorfish tradition doesn't really care either way about that. In other traditions, a proper dorf formally takes control of the fort before opening the treasure vault which is conveniently located behind the throne itself.

And then there's a huge feast. You're pretty sure even Abanlorban aren't lame enough to not have dorfish pudding, which is almost a requirement for a proper feast.

>>326382
To the throne room! Time to formally take control of this place and open that treasury. Then it's time for a massive party, invite your mom and your grandparents as well. They can join in on the second or third day of the partying.

>>326382
Is dwarven pudding code for dwarven bitches?

>>326382
Claim throne
open vault
look at gold
close vault
gather people
make feast
eat feast
pass out
?????????
PROFIT

>>326382

Ask someone to motorize the throne so you can gather people and look important at the same time.

>>326485
I support this plan provided we replace. ??????? and PROFIT with "Like a Boss!"

>>326564

yes, you need to do all these things in a montage and have a crowd following behind you, shouting "like a boss!" after you do each one :p

>>326382
Claim throne. Tit-slap unarmed dissenters. (slap dissenters with tits. If dissenters have tits, slap tits with tits.)

>>326589
>montage
This coincides with a thing and brings up a point. Go to >>/questdis/339630 to discus (and/or vote) if there should be a "montage" instead of a regular update next.