Let's go with the heavy drinker. LEFT!

The right one looks sorta like Spikesby. RIGHT!

The lazy one. Right.

>>236998
Spikesby!

Rowan 2010/10/01(Fri)18:51 No. 237003 ID: c1b520
File 128598428325.png - (6.73KB , 303x270 , C1- Confirm.png )

Name: [Not Registered]

Intelligence: Average
Strength: Above average
Durability: Above average
Agility: Below average
Flexibility: Below average

Status: Maintenance engineer aboard cruiser 34-47, able to perform in combat
Rank: Private

Yes, confirm

>>237003
Other one.

Stick with it. No waffling.

We need more waffling.

>>237011
Ok fine, let's waffle.

What's the other one do?

>>237012
>>237011
>>237009
>>237006
>>236999
>>236998
>>236997
SCREW CHOOSING, WE'LL TAKE THEM BOTH!

Rowan 2010/10/01(Fri)19:45 No. 237016 ID: c1b520
File 128598755492.png - (6.72KB , 303x270 , C1- Confirm2.png )

Name: [Not Registered]

Intelligence: Average
Strength: Below average
Durability: Below average
Agility: Above average
Flexibility: Above average

Status: Stealth operative aboard cruiser 34-47, must be equipped in direct combat
Rank: Private

Engineer. We're better at practical problems, guys, let's stick with our strengths.

>>237015
THIS ONE.

WE ARE NOW BOTH.

Engineer, then.

>>237018
TO THE SCIENCE TUBES, MY FRIEND! WE SHALL FUSE THESE TWO SUB-PAR DRONES INTO A SINGLE, SUPERIOR DOUBLE DRONE!

Rowan 2010/10/01(Fri)20:08 No. 237026 ID: c1b520
File 128598890994.png - (5.05KB , 303x270 , C1- Confirmed.png )

Confirmation complete.

Register name and we will begin.

name: ________________

Drone EN-021

>>237026
Wakwak.

>>237026
Sparxby. :B

>>237026
Bah, I can't believe you passed up a chance for scientific hijinks and tubes for a logical answer.

Anyway, name the thing Bob and lets get on with it.

>>237026
Raoul, the Love God.

Spacepirate

Rowan 2010/10/01(Fri)21:42 No. 237065 ID: c1b520
File 128599452217.png - (8.09KB , 303x270 , C1- Shit just got real.png )

Hello, my name is Bob, or as the computer called me, EN-021, but my friends call my Sparksby, you know cus I'm an engineer? Well anyway, I guess I should tell you what the hell happened, well for me, it all started at the beginning.

I had just finished eating the best doughnut I had ever seen, it tasted god awful like everything else on that ship but it looked fantastic. Afterwords I took a nap, hoping my dreams would wash away the sour taste in my mouth, when all of a sudden...

>>237065
JESUS CHRIST RUN

Grab your pal, GET THE FUCK TO THE ESCAPE PODS!

>>237065
GET TO THE ESCAPE TUUUUUBES!

Rowan 2010/10/01(Fri)22:53 No. 237082 ID: c1b520
File 128599879121.png - (7.99KB , 486x376 , C1- Escape.png )

As any good engineer can tell you, all Space Pirate cruisers are rigged to explode when something really good, or really bad happens. So either someone just won the lottery, or the big guy just bit the dust... again. Knowing this I decided now was not a good time to try and improve my ranks so I decided to book it to my own personal escape pod. Yes I said pod, not tube. In most cases we engineers use tubes, it is the greatest thing ever, no matter what material or purpose, however due to my lack of training, I cannot properly fit in a tube, I just get stuck. So with hindsight and foresight working together I decided to craft my own escape POD in secret, I managed to find a place to hide it in a lone and highly under traveled hallway whose only occupant was a lone trashcan.

Time and foresight were on my side that day with many minutes left to spare.

(cont.)

Rowan 2010/10/01(Fri)22:54 No. 237085 ID: c1b520
File 128599889215.png - (7.55KB , 486x376 , C!- Well fuck me.png )

Sadly, luck was not.

Huddle on the side of the wall until it goes away!

just keep running! if you don't get to your pod you are dead anyway!

>>237085
Play dead. The Hunter will probably scan you though. Find out all your most intimate details. I heard in the breakroom the Hunter can even find out your mating habits just to mercilessly ridicule you about them before killing you.

No armor; nothing to worry here but some stunning if you get in her way. Slump against the wall and wait a little while.

>>237085
Leap at her precariously while screeching - what could possibly go wrong?

Throw your claws up and flatten yourself against the wall.

>>237113
This.

Rowan 2010/10/02(Sat)14:27 No. 237316 ID: c1b520
File 128605484769.png - (11.10KB , 486x376 , C!- Profanity.png )

Having myself heard of the great many rumors of the hunter known in her native tongue as Samus, it was by wise if not cowardice decision to hold back. I was almost positive she saw me, but she gave no hint on the matter. I was able to sneak a peak at her fiddling with the code system that I had set up for the escape pod, it was more out of habit then anything, and this proved that that little habit has finally payed off. I could hear her spout multiple profanities in her native tongue, not nearly as crud as our own but the hint was the same. My time was running short and my option were minimal. Due to the time I took getting here squeezing into any open escape tubes and exiting the danger zone would be nigh impossible. I had one option, and one option alone, get to that escape pod. The only question I had was, "How do I go about doing this?"

>>237316
Sneak up behind her. ELIMINATE SAMUS.

if the hunter want's to escape maybe you can parlay. she doesn't turn your head into space paste and you let her in the pod with you.

>>237316
How much room is in the pod? The Hunter isn't in her death-armor, so you might actually have a chance to talk.

Then again if this is witnessed by any other pirate or recording device you'll probably be fed to a swarm of baby metroids for a prolonged, painful, useful death. A space pirate death.

>>237323
This.

Can you crawl along walls or ceilings?
Maybe you could throw something down a hall and she'll chase it, not noticing you hanging.

Rowan 2010/10/02(Sat)17:50 No. 237511 ID: c1b520
File 12860670133.png - (12.14KB , 486x376 , C!- All down hill from here.png )

Knowing all the consequences, understanding all risks involved, I took it upon myself as a strong and able bodied space pirate to take down the feared and powerful hunter. I charged in with the fury of all the spirits of the pirates who had fallen to the hunter. I knew in my heart, that tonight, Samus Aran would pay her due.

Rowan 2010/10/02(Sat)18:20 No. 237522 ID: c1b520
File 128606880447.png - (9.14KB , 390x303 , C1- It could be worse.png )

The ensuing battle went on for many long gruesome... er... um... seconds, Our skills seemed matched perfectly. Every hit was matched punch for punch, every kick met with one just as strong. It was a fight for the ages, but near the end of the conflict it seemed as though the fates had chosen her for this conflict. Damn them to a gruesome death.

parlay man parlay! "we are both dead if you don't let me open it!"

Rowan 2010/10/02(Sat)18:32 No. 237526 ID: c1b520
File 128606957551.png - (10.09KB , 468x327 , C1- Parley.png )

With myself fairly wounded I began to realize that there might be some secondary option, so I decided it was time to charm her into a sort of parley. With firm understanding of her species and their native tongue, I began to woo her with poetry of the highest quality, all Pirate written of course. With her senses dazzled by my display of knowledge and culture I proposed a parlay in which we would both benefit. I proposed that I would put in the code for the escape pod, and we would both escape together, and that if she were to accept this proposal, she would enter the pirate court and go under trial for her crimes. Still wooed by my earlier display, she accepted without a second thought.

Rowan 2010/10/02(Sat)18:50 No. 237539 ID: c1b520
File 128607063635.png - (13.56KB , 485x364 , C1- This is starting to get old.png )

I gracefully stepped into my waiting escape pod, and like the gentlepirate I am, I helped the hunter in as well. As I sat in my captains seat, and checked everything I made sure the hunter was as comfortable as well. I may be an intimidating pirate, but that is no judge of manners.

pray she needs you alive.

>>237539
Move so she doesn't need to step on you to get to the chair.

Rowan 2010/10/02(Sat)19:06 No. 237542 ID: c1b520
File 128607159887.png - (238.85KB , 500x375 , C1- Completely realistic explosion.png )

As we took off from the cruiser I knew that it was just in time, and lo and behold that moments after we had escaped the danger zone, the ship exploded in an array of lights that was as beautiful as it was terrifying.

>>237542
Hope that you rigged up the piloting system so that only you can use it, thereby providing her with a reason to keep you alive in a long-term sense.

>>237542
Clearly you must deffer to her skill and experience. Salute her and tell her you are awaiting orders.
No sudden movements, though.

Rowan 2010/10/02(Sat)19:34 No. 237552 ID: c1b520
File 128607327680.png - (15.95KB , 586x453 , C1- The end.png )

After some time flying through the empty vastness of space, it was my poor decision to allow the hunter to take the controls, I myself had made sure that only I knew how to pilot them, but through my own daze caused by the beauty that I beheld through the window. I allowed the woman to drive. And thus we crash landed on a desolate planet in the middle of an unlabeled sector of space. Where I then proceeded to-

Rowan 2010/10/02(Sat)19:38 No. 237554 ID: c1b520
File 128607351385.png - (15.66KB , 586x453 , But not really.png )

For the love of god, SHUT UP!

Bob: But-

NO! SHUT UP! YES IT WAS A GOOD TIME WASTER FOR LIKE FIVE MINUETS, BUT IT'S BEEN THREE HOURS! THREE FUCKING HOURS! JUST SHUT UP!

Rowan 2010/10/02(Sat)19:42 No. 237558 ID: c1b520
File 128607376993.png - (7.99KB , 461x384 , C1- and so the story continues.png )

And so the story continues.

>>237554
What did you do to piss off the trained killer

Search for way off rock.

>>237558
You're sitting on a tree stump. Go find a tree and punch the logs out of it. Then chop those logs into planks, and form those planks into a workbench.
Make a shovel and a pickaxe, then start excavating an underground shelter.

>>237571
Watch out for hissing green things.

Ask where her suit went.

>>237558
Miss Hunter Ma'am- I just want to thank you for not killing me.

>>237558
At this point, your best option is to go away from the bitchy hunter.

>>237621
This planet probably has a ton of dangerous things that could kill our feeble, seemingly combat inept space pirate. On the other hand, the Hunter seems able to kill just about anything it comes across but hasn't killed us.

I think it's safer and more fitting to our cowardly space pirate nature to stick with the Hunter for the moment!

Rowan 2010/10/03(Sun)09:34 No. 237767 ID: c1b520
File 128612366644.png - (9.57KB , 461x384 , C1- This is not minecraft___ yet.png )

Hey can I ask a couple questions?

Samus: So long as it doesn't take three hours.

I guess first off, why am I not dead?

Samus: Simple, you got me off that ship.

Oh-

Samus: Well that and because I have no EASY means of killing you right now.

On that note, where is the suit I hear so much about?

Samus: When I bailed out of my ship before crashing into yours a lot of my suit got torn away. When I finally crashed into your ship all I had was a power less helmet, a piece of the leg, and a shoulder pad. All of it was useless so i ditched it understanding it would weigh me down. I lost my gun fighting your commander.

... I think I missed like half of that but I think I got it. So uh... what now?

Samus: Simple, we survive. This is an uncharted planet, and we are lucky we can at least breath on it, much less find signs of life. (she signals to the stumps) Best thing to do now is round up some supplies. I've got a communication device in this but I'll need a radio tower to get enough range on it to signal for help.

So our job now is to make shelter and work on building a radio tower?

Samus: Basically.

I guess I'll get to work on that.

Craft some tubes.

>>237767
wait, ask her what will happen to you if you(her and your self) are able to contact someone.

from what i know of her she is not the type to let go surviving spase pirate

A radio tower isn't something you can do much about just yet, so work on a shelter. Look around for a good setup, dig a big hole if you have to. You must have some applicable skills here right?

claim to be a engineer. get to making a tower of tubes.

then ask her if she can still use the tubes to move around.

>>237767
Get some assurance that Samus won't blast you first chance she gets. This girl has some serious PTSD issues.

>>237950
You think she needs a weapon to be deadly?
If she was going to kill you she would have done it already. As long as you make yourself useful and don't do anything profoundly stupid she won't hurt you.

>>238098
yay but when she contact the federation what are THEY going to do

>>238202
Hope that she doesn't have the engineering knowledge, contact Space Pirate High Command, and sneak off before the blow the site from orbit.

>>237767
you heard the hunter! chop chop unless we want to get killed, although im sure we might be able to kill her in her sleep.

yes, get wood and take it to the hunter.

After that, chop up some wood and make a shelter :V

>>238202
uh.

build the radio tower, sabotage its long range capatibilities?

>>237767
"Will this endeavor require tubes?
Beautiful, cylindrical, shiny- "

>>237767
Try and find some source of alcohol
Failing that, find source of water

>>243614
Actually, she'd be better off going to find water. After all, she's the one with the fancy suit with all the scanners and weapons and stuff. Sparxby can try and get some kind of signal going.
>>238214
Why bother? High Command doesn't give two shits about anyone but themselves. And they definitely don't care if you die horribly in an attempt to get at the hunter.