Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/07/28(Tue)02:40 No. 15918 ID: a3b36a
File 124877400773.gif - (6.88KB , 800x600 , MilkIntroduction.gif )

This is Dan Engelwood, assistant manager at a franchised restaurant. He's required to wear a suit even on the hottest days. They work him long hours with little training. He busts his ass for that bloody place, and gets nothing but flak and lectures from his douchebag boss. Dan has no clue what the hell he's authorized to do to resolve problems. Often, he finds his mind drifting to escaping from that hellhole job, but cannot afford to move. So, he soldiers onward, carrying his burdens and getting up each day for another round of the public's bullshit.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/07/28(Tue)02:42 No. 15919 ID: a3b36a
File 124877411848.gif - (14.70KB , 800x600 , Good Morning.gif )

... but today is one of his precious precious days off. He's got shit he's got to get done.

>begin

Get out of bed you lazy sod!

>>15919
Wake up and get some coffee brewing, you'll need all the energy you can get to do shit today and not just lay about!

>>15920
Yeah, get out and SHUT THOSE DAMN BLINDS. How's a man to get some sleep with light pouring in like that?

Sleep in another couple of hours, you can always get up a little later.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/07/28(Tue)03:00 No. 15929 ID: a3b36a
File 124877522140.gif - (12.42KB , 800x600 , Kitchen.gif )

>>15920
>>15921

Dan zombies his way into the kitchen, cursing the sun for daring to rise on his day off as he does, to get some breakfast, and most importantly start some coffee. Being his day off, pants are entirely optional around the house.

>>15929
Ponder how pensive one of the cupboards is looking.
Also try for something microwaved and hot for breakfast, that will get you going.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/07/28(Tue)03:56 No. 15937 ID: a3b36a
File 124877857828.gif - (15.91KB , 800x600 , Breakfast.gif )

>>15935
>microwaved
>hot

Pizza Pouches for breakfast it is. He opens the freezer and pulls out the half-gone box of frozen Pizza Pouches, fishing out a couple and opening their cellophane wrappers.

Smells like the coffee's almost ready.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/07/28(Tue)19:39 No. 16647 ID: a3b36a
File 124883517791.gif - (77.32KB , 800x600 , Teevee.gif )

Dan takes a seat with his breakfast and starts channel surfing. Man... there's nothing good on right now.

He considers getting some cereal as well, but is out of Milk. He was intending to go get some more today as he did his errands.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/01(Sat)03:50 No. 19593 ID: a3b36a
File 12491238569.gif - (12.17KB , 800x600 , ToDo.gif )

As Dan continues his usual day-off morning routine, he mentally constructs a to-do list of things he's got to get done today. It amounts to roughly the same stuff as last week.

With enough caffeine in his system, he migrates to his closet something suitable to wear outside. A tired sigh escapes him as he realizes just how rarely he actually wears anything other than his work duds or his lounging around at home clothes.

>>19593
Too bad, get on that.
You can buy clothes later, when you by exciting underwear for your mum.

Suggestion 2009/08/05(Wed)01:34 No. 23079 ID: a3b36a
File 12494612434.gif - (9.98KB , 800x600 , TaskGET.gif )

>>23041
Underwear? Nnnnnnno, he doesn't thing that'd be a good gift. In fact, he doubts there's enough fabric in the state to fit underwear for his mother, no matter how skimpy the design.

However, getting a new set of off-work clothes seems like good idea, as he finds his UUterglashtikobven world tour shirt. Geez... that was ages ago. Before the scandal about UUterglashtikobven not even actually being foreign at all. After that... they just weren't the same band. Unfortunately, it's the only somewhat decently clean shirt he's got at the moment.

Oh well. At least he can leave the house without getting indecent exposure charges now.

>>23079
Derp. Forgot mah name and trip.

Get nice clothes, then hit the clubs. Let's get a girlfriend.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/05(Wed)06:11 No. 23098 ID: a3b36a
File 124947789622.gif - (12.97KB , 800x600 , WalkanGaems.gif )

Dan gathers up the package his dickweed boss is making him send off, then step out of his good ol' apartment 7F and into the harsh, oppressive morning light.

...man... he hasn't been to a club in ages, Dan realizes. Maybe he'll do that tonight. That'll give him plenty of time to find some decent clothes. Who knows? Maybe he'll get lucky and find a girl there. He's not allowed to chase any of the pussy at work. Jail is not on his task list today.

Dan's mind wanders as he automatically walks to the stairs, then out of the apartment complex. Idly he wonders when the elevator is going to be fixed, if ever.

>>23098
Ask about it on the way out.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/05(Wed)22:00 No. 23537 ID: a3b36a
File 12495348527.gif - (53.68KB , 800x600 , KnockKnock.gif )

Dan pauses by the office on his way out. That elevator -has- been broken for too long. He knocks on the door, hoping to get a day that someone's coming to fix the elevator.

...

He knocks again.

...

"Baah. Fuck this. They're probably off boning the cleaning staff of their motels or something," gripes Dan as he storms off to continue his errands. He idly wonders if he should check for a new apartment when he saves up enough money.

>>23537
Post office first, they probably close the earliest.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/05(Wed)23:33 No. 23551 ID: a3b36a
File 124954041697.gif - (7.63KB , 800x600 , Postal1.gif )

Dan heads to a nearby postal shop that conveniently handles the various shipping companies, and regular mail.

He heads up to the automatic sliding doors, hoping that it'll be a quick in-dropoff-out procedure.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/05(Wed)23:34 No. 23552 ID: a3b36a
File 12495404702.gif - (10.47KB , 800x600 , Postal2.gif )

...Godfuckingdammit! Look at that huge mob of people. With a sigh, Dan gets in line.

((Timeskip Activate))

Dear lord that took forever. He was sure he heard someone break down in tears from the wait at one point.

But that task is completed now.

>>23553
Now, nice lunch SOMEWHERE NOT YOUR RESTAURANT, and groceries.
Anything in particular your mum likes?

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/07(Fri)03:58 No. 23966 ID: a3b36a
File 124964268679.gif - (8.38KB , 800x600 , RedWarriorNeedsFood.gif )

Dan's not sure how long he spent in there, but suddenly he realizes that he's hungry again. He ponders on where to go.

>>23857
>SOMEWHERE NOT YOUR RESTAURANT
Dear lord yes. ...maybe that Pasta Hut down the street. They usually give pretty good portions at a reasonable price.

Dan starts walking that way, pondering on what he'll get his mom. Maybe some flowers? Perhaps something that'll be used up? Something that won't say 'I did this because I had to, you hideous, skin-wrapped blob of cellulite'. On the other hand... Mom is a bit fond of her sweets.

>>23966
Get her sugar-free nougat bars.
That'll show her.

>>23966
Fruit-roll-up condom

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/09(Sun)04:06 No. 25545 ID: a3b36a
File 124981598919.gif - (15.63KB , 800x600 , PastaHut.gif )

Dan reaches the Pasta Hut! A lone worker in a striped shirt stands inside, a button on her shirt cheerfully declaring her 'mad about meat sauce'. "Yeah? What'll it be?" snarks the girl inside the hut. ...what they lack in customer service, they make up for in food quality, quantity, and convenience.

Dan peruses the menu as he further considers ideas. Perhaps sugar-free would be good. Most sugar-free snacks taste passable these days, and it'd be a subtle 'Lose weight, fatty' message that could easily be overlooked.

The thought of condoms crosses his mind as his eyes drift around the menu, occasionally glancing at the girl's sour expression. He gets a brief mental image flash of his mother in a situation requiring one and shudders, cursing his imagination.

>>25545
Sure lets go with a sugar-free umm hotdog?

>>25545
Chicken alfredo.
Or do you have another preference?

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/10(Mon)03:20 No. 26703 ID: a3b36a
File 124989961625.gif - (68.18KB , 800x600 , MmmAlfredo.gif )

Dan goes ahead and gets some chicken alfredo. Briefly he wonders if they have mac + cheese + hotdogs, but shuffles that thought aside. He can make that at home. He also gets something to drink.

In moments he has his food, and his drink is placed in a Pasta Hut Drink Sling for ease of carry and handed over.

He continues on his way, mind still roaming. Yeah... a giftbox of sugar-free candy, and maybe a card. That should be good for his mom. And he could probably get it in the same store as the milk. If he went to SuperCheapoMart, he might be able to find a decent outfit there as well. Said outfit might fall apart in a few days, but he might find one that at least -looks- good.

Onward, to supercheapo mart!

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/11(Tue)20:04 No. 28074 ID: a3b36a
File 125004624891.gif - (14.51KB , 800x600 , MosEisley.gif )

SuperCheapoMart... You'll never find a more wretched hive of Savings and Convenience. We must be cautious...

Dan enters, wondering just what section to hit up first. Should he just get his stuff and go, or browse the fun things, like the Electronics section, the Computing and Video Game section, the Book section, the Tools section, etc. etc. etc.? Should he get a cart? So many options...

>>28074
Well, he damn well needs to get a cart. He should also get the gift first so we don't have to worry about it.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/11(Tue)20:58 No. 28129 ID: a3b36a
File 125004951988.gif - (87.58KB , 800x600 , Fanfare.gif )

Yeah, he might need the cart. If nothing else, he can use it to make getting around the monster-size store much easier.

Dan sets off toward the candy section. His eyes scan the various aisle signs as they display the aisle contents.

>>28129
Reeeeeses

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/15(Sat)01:54 No. 29734 ID: a3b36a
File 125032644189.gif - (61.18KB , 800x600 , candycandycandycandy.gif )

And so, Dan reaches the candy section. Almost time to mark another task done.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/15(Sat)01:55 No. 29735 ID: a3b36a
File 125032655215.gif - (16.20KB , 800x600 , ShouldaSentaPoet.gif )

Dan will have to be a mature adult in here. Just go in, get the gift box of candy, then continue on his way. Total self control. Shouldn't be a problem.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/15(Sat)01:56 No. 29736 ID: a3b36a
File 125032660030.gif - (26.63KB , 800x600 , CHAAAAAAARGE.gif )

...well, maybe just a few peanut butter cups or something.

>>29736
This is a family problem, then?
Riesens, if they have them.

Go buck ass wild. Your life has been shit, live a little.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/16(Sun)03:12 No. 30253 ID: a3b36a
File 125041752414.gif - (16.00KB , 800x600 , Afterthought.gif )

The thought crosses Dan's mind that mmmmmaybe he's overdone it just a hair. Maybe.

He starts putting some of the sugary treats back where they belong.

At least he has Mother's gift taken care of. What next?

>>30253
Find some wrapping paper and ribbon.
Might as well dress it up.
Any other groceries you need?

Get dem groceries.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/17(Mon)17:47 No. 30873 ID: a3b36a
File 125055645052.gif - (35.29KB , 800x600 , Dairy.gif )

Only other bit of groceries that Dan needs is the milk. Might as well get it now.

After getting something nice to put his mom's candy in and a nice card, he treks for the dairy section of the grocery area.

Dan idly notes that the refrigeration unit is rumbling pretty loudly in the back. He decides to mention it to the next employee he sees.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/17(Mon)17:51 No. 30876 ID: a3b36a
File 125055666396.gif - (954.57KB , 800x600 , DotDotDot.gif )

"Hmm... what percent to get?" wonders Dan as he starts perusing prices.

(check full size pic.)

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/17(Mon)18:17 No. 30910 ID: a3b36a
File 125055824926.gif - (11.00KB , 800x600 , Crash.gif )

"Uhhnnnnhhhh..." What do you know? Those garish displays of new or clearance products are useful for something after all...

>>23537
>>26703

I can't be the only person to have noticed that these are somewhat disturbingly animated, can I?

>>30928
((I've been asked a few times. :3 And yes, those are canon. He just hasn't noticed it, hence my not mentioning it. Total animated pics?

>>15917
>>16647
>>23537
>>26703
>>28129
>>29734
>>29735
>>29736
>>30873
>>30876

Though, some are only minor animations.))

>>30910

You can't possibly drink that much milk before it goes bad. Just grab what you need and head out. And remember, if there isn't a living person manning the register, you don't have to pay!

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/24(Mon)01:02 No. 33747 ID: a3b36a
File 125110093259.gif - (7.15KB , 800x600 , UpAndAtEm.gif )

Right. Dan still needs that milk...

He crawls out of the ruined display of Kuhral Krispies ((I have got one shereal to deshtroy your hunger! Nyanyanya!)) and finds his feet. He stumbles back toward the Dairy section.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/24(Mon)01:06 No. 33749 ID: a3b36a
File 125110120173.gif - (19.48KB , 800x600 , WhatHappen.gif )

...

What...

...

What happened here?

The doors have all been blown off of the refrigerators, and the walls separating them have been blown away...

...what... happenned?

Dan was SUPPOSED to get milk!

It's... It's all been blown away!

Wait... he thinks he sees a carton by the hole in the wall that somehow survived...

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/24(Mon)01:39 No. 33753 ID: a3b36a
File 125110317423.gif - (41.77KB , 800x600 , Crunch.gif )

It looks okay. Dan will just head over and...

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/24(Mon)01:42 No. 33754 ID: a3b36a
File 125110331994.gif - (13.40KB , 800x600 , Soldier.gif )

...no...

No.

NO!

NONONONONONO FUCKING NO!

NOT. FUCKING. TODAY!

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2009/08/24(Mon)01:58 No. 33756 ID: a3b36a
File 125110433370.gif - (9.19KB , 800x600 , ASFKLGSDDFSGS.gif )

TODAY IS DAN'S DAY OFF. This is NOT going to fucking happen TODAY. Dan was so fucking close to having a good day! That milk was so goddamn close he could almost taste it! GODFUCKINGDAMMITALL!

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
ASDKFJALFAPDKLXJCOIERMDNVDIZUASFSFF!!!!!!

>>33756
There's bound to be more cartons of milk around. Just keep moving around the debris and stay light on your feet for safety.

Beeeeoooooooooooooo Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2010/05/19(Wed)14:10 No. 179817 ID: 10d485
File 127430343873.gif - (23.32KB , 800x600 , testpattern.gif )

[Quest experiencing technical difficulties. We appreciate your patience. Please stand by...]

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2010/05/19(Wed)14:15 No. 179818 ID: 10d485
File 127430370078.gif - (14.66KB , 800x600 , WAAAAAAAAGH.gif )

"-MY FUCKING DAY OFF GODFUCKINGDAMYOU!"

What... just happenned? Dan doesn't remember. His hands... more specifically, his knuckles... are bleeding. He's beating and ripping at whatever that thing was, electronic components scattered around him. A few of its limbs aren't on it anymore. The already wrecked store is a bit more wrecked.

What just happened? He's not sure, but he feels a little less stressed.

>>179818
A little berserkergang is what happened. There was probably alot of cursing and howling like an animal involved. But that's over with now. So get up and see what you can salvage, find anything that looks like it could be used as a weapon. Punching robots to death is a good way to wear out your knuckles, so something else than fists could be nice.

Yes, this is a store, they will have stuff to be used as weapons.

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2010/07/04(Sun)21:26 No. 203443 ID: 6706f9
File 127830401275.gif - (13.00KB , 800x600 , VALUES AND SAVINGS.gif )

Right... right... weapon...

There might be more of those things out there... I need to defend myself... I need to patch up my hands, too...

I meander my way towards the medical supplies area, picking up and discarding various items for potential use as weapons. Cans, shelf supports, bottles, occasionally a stand-up advertising sign... Improvised crap doesn't seem too sturdy. The cans seem most likely to stand up to a few blows, but they're full of squishy foodstuff, so probably wouldn't last.

I... guess this place is a no-go for that milk. I wonder where to try next.

>>203443
Gas station.

If you want to find a weapon in a grocery store, might I suggest you duck behind the meat counter and get some of their sharp implements?

Bug spray. Tons of bug spray!

Where to get milk though...

>>203443
There should be some mops or something that you can fashion improvised clubs out of. Or get some ductape, a broom handle and a knife (hammers and nails would be needed to make a relaly good one) and you could make an improvised spear. First split one end of the handle, then remove the grip (make sure it's one of those knifes that have a metal core that is a part of the blade in their grip) of the knife, place the knife into the split wood, apply liberal amounts of ductape, if you got a hammer and nails then put a few nails through to make sure it's stable and apply even more ductape around it.

If that's not possible then just head on over to the meat section and go back into the employe part of it to find some kniferesistant gloves and a butcher knife or two. If they don't have that either then I'm almost out of ideas.

And places like the gas station or conveniance stores might have some milk. As a last case scenario I guess you could try finding a woman with a baby and get milk that way.

Wasn't the alien carrying some sort of gun? Or did you break that too?

Parodius!z3GH2A89b6 2010/08/02(Mon)14:47 No. 214881 ID: 5de2d9
File 128078566447.gif - (21.23KB , 800x600 , Oh right.gif )

>>203445
Grocery store? Nono... SuperCheapoMart eats grocery stores by the handful, like dry cereal. Hardware, software, clothing, haircuts, banking, toys, accounting, hunting, gardening, automotive, lumber, dry goods, wet goods, frozen goods, pet goods, pets, postal supplies, office supplies, weather supplies, pool supplies... If it's legal and doesn't need any sort of special licensing, I could probably find it somewhere in the aisles here. Provided I there's not a crowd or something.
Knives might be good, though.

>>203571
I'll keep the spear idea in mind. But I'll pass on the 'woman' idea. That's gross. Not my fetish at all. Sicko.

>>214065
I... Was there? It's all a blur. There might have been. I guess I can go check if it's in good shape. It's on the way to the meat counter anyways.

>>214881
Shit man. Aliens are following you and they're after your milk. Prepare an ambush for the fucker.

>>214881
>I guess I can go check if it's in good shape. It's on the way to the meat counter anyways.

Sounds good.