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Floating Puff
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You decide to start by eavesdropping on the two men arguing over hotdogs. As you approach, you realize that Darren is rapidly regretting hastily pairing them together as he takes off his sunglasses and rubs his eyes as they continue their… heated debate… over… hot dog condiments.
The man in the grungy armor has a slight electronic fuzz to his voice as it passes through his helmet.
“Screw you, just because you can’t use Relish properly doesn’t mean it’s bad, you tasteless idiot.”
The man with the wolf corpse tattoo sounds like he’s swallowed sixteen razor blades and chased them down with a cocktail of lemon juice and rubbing alcohol.
“No, no, no, if I have to swirl the bottle, make sure everything’s lined up right, and have a goddamn paper towel just in case there’s pickle water, it’s not worth the goddamn time or effort.”
“Well, you like corndogs, so clearly you don’t value any semblance of quality in your food.”
The Tattooed man spits onto his pinkie as before he vigourously begins digging it into his ear.
“You’re the fucking one who eats shit so bad you apparently need to drown it in every rank condiment you can find.”
“Right. Like Chili dogs are any different. Why don’t you just eat a bowl of chili and get a grilled cheese if you’re going to do all of that to a hot dog.”
“Oh, motherfucker, are you seriously saying that when you put SAUERKRAUT on your hot dogs?”
The man with the grungy armor picks at a stubborn piece of dirt.
“Yeah, because unlike you, I’m not some sort of crazy person who eats hot dogs with no condiments, but only if it’s on a damn whole wheat bun.”
“You lunkheaded fool, of course unsauced dogs taste like shit when you use white bread, it’s the worst type of bread for unsauced dogs!”
“So what, you have two different packs of hot dog buns in your house? What a bother.”
“Right, like having to stack on six million condiments on a single dog isn’t more of a pain in the ass.”
If this is some sort of code, you can’t make heads or tails of it, and you’re not sure if code speaking terrorists would really go for the “no one that wants to be noticed would do this” strat, since they’re now yelling loud enough that most of the people in the room are staring at them, except Calvin, who is apparently trying to convince his body that soda water is alcoholic, and the two cloaked guys who are still talking to each other, you think.
The armored man spots you being the closest to them and turns to his… “rival.”
“Look, how about we ask the other guys, since clearly you’re too thickheaded to listen to reason?”
The Tattooed man rolls his eyes
“Yeah, fuck no, ones a mutant, one’s got a cheap face implant, one’s drinking fucking raw soda water, I don’t even know how those two freaks would even eat without a mouth slot or nutrient hole, but I’m sure it’s disgusting, that wimpy bartender’s just going to agree with me because I’m more intimidating, and both of the the bouncers are just going to tell you to-”
Darren buries his massive face in his equally massive hands
“Please shut up…”
The Tatooed man does not get the hint.
“Yeah, that.”
The armored man looks a bit confused.
“Wait, I kinda get the rest cept that crap about the food holes, but what’s wrong with the mutant?”
Bald man quickly glances at you and pauses for a moment before continuing.
“Look, every single mutant I’ve ever met always ends up adding something… “unusual” to their food and they never realize it. Remember my uncle Vince? He ended up eating molding cheese for every meal.”
“Isn’t that just like blue cheese?”
“He said the exact same fucking thing when we caught him rubbing a block of it all over some black mold. Did you not read up on Anas? Yeah, she eats raw grass and poison berries. Eli Claw started eating his opponent live on TV, and that was like, totally fucking hardcore, and they shouldn’t have banned him for that, but like, you’re not gonna eat a guy raw like that, at least not if it’s not covered in all that crappy makeup Zald was wearing. …fuckin’ bullshit, coulda kicked Nog’s ass… …Actually, now that I think about it, wasn’t Zald wearing some new fuckin taster oil or something? …wonder if it’d taste good if I used the same sauce with that mouthy bitch…”
You now realize the Bald man’s tattoo was the symbol of Eli Claw, a pro division K-GE-MAT-KH wrestler, who uh… did expelled, for exactly that. It was a non-lethal match, but in his defense, Zald did actually, not-in that weird “keyfob” thing, fuck his wife shortly before. He and his fans were always known for being a bit loony...
The bald man continues to mutter, and the grungy man appears to have been shocked into silence, leading most of the room to go back to ignoring them.
“Wait, did you just say you ate someone before?”
The Claw fan stops muttering, and speaks in a normal voice,
“Wha- Oh right, and those fucking cloaked bastards don’t have a proper food input on their face. That means they do some gross shit to get nutrients in there. Really, really rare to see some nutjobs do some shit like that, cause it’s expensive as shit. …Actually… wait, how the hell could newbie mercenaries affor-”
“You ate someone?”
“Ah, shit, you made me lose my train of thought, whatever, your taste is shit, your armor is shit, your gun is shit, and your brain is shit. Fuck off and don’t bother me until we gotta guard the damn door.”
The debate seems to have ended, as the Tattooed man wanders off to angrily mutter more about wrestling and… cannibalism. It’s not technically illegal, and legality means basically nothing in this city, but it’s generally regarded as weird and gross at best. You don’t think anyone but the armored man and you heard that stuff about the cannibalism, but Calvin might have heard about the “cloaked bastards” depending on if he managed to placebo himself into getting drunk.
The armored man blinks a few times, and heads over to the bar to ask for (non-alcoholic) beer.
Calvin was sitting decently close the the conversation, and he appears to be signaling you over.
Maybe. He’s just kind of tugging on his thumb a bunch while sorta looking in your direction.
Arial and the other bouncer continue speaking to one another.
Darren is starting at the ceiling, completely checking out.
The Cloaked guys have not stopped talking to each other all this time.
>Follow the Claw fan and ask him what he was saying about the two cloaked guys while trying to avoid suspicion.
>Move over to Calvin and ask what’s up.
>Eavesdrop on the cloaked guys
>Ask Darren when the VIPs are going to get here.
>write in
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