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File 126413134075.png - (12.36KB , 503x409 , 0.png )
9480 No. 9480 ID: 34470e

I think this may be too early, but I would like a discussion thread.

This quest started out as a fanfic.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5429908/1/Dais_Journey
Don't read the fanfic if you don't want spoilers.

There are some differences between the fanfiction and the quest already.

In the fanfic, Dai left the preserve on bad terms. Also NidoranF evolved. And the names. And the order the Pokemon were caught(Gastly then Chikorita).
Expand all images
>>
No. 9651 ID: 34470e
File 126441981075.png - (10.64KB , 503x409 , scyther1.png )
9651

This was practice before drawing the real thing.
>>
No. 9652 ID: 34470e
File 126441986176.png - (26.39KB , 563x424 , THAT.png )
9652

And this accompanied a submission to another fanfic where it accepts ocs.
>>
No. 9692 ID: 34470e

<Shiitake> ...a Pikachu cannot learn Hyper Beam.
<Goldude> In my world it knows it
<Goldude> Just like how all Scyther know Gust
<Goldude> And Hardan
<Goldude> *harden
<Shiitake> Why would a Pikachu even know Hyper Beam? It's a move used exclusively by either evolved pokemon or legendaries.
<Goldude> Not in my world.
<Shiitake> Lovely
<Goldude> Evolved Pokemon and Legendaries can use it without getting exhausted
<Shiitake> :|
<Shiitake> That sounds a little unbalanced.
<Goldude> Look at Brownie! He's about to pass out!
<Shiitake> You said the proper pokemon can use it without being exhausted. So, uh... they can use it over and over again without a recovery period?
<Rosque> Goldude
<Farmer> I think he mean without costing HP
<Farmer> Like
<Rosque> League is clearly evil
<Rosque> Why do you keep saying they're nice D:
<Farmer> In pokeworld, HP is capacity to not faint
<Farmer> Hyperbeam eats HP.
<Goldude> ...Yeah, let's go with Farmer's explanation.
* Farmer is good at explaining away stuff u.u
>>
No. 9700 ID: 126d08

...Every thing you post in this thread makes me want to read your quest less and less.
>>
No. 9703 ID: fa7b85

>>319500
Agreed.

So we got to deal with a person who is just railroading us to hell and going FUCK THE RULES ITS MY FANFIC.

And I was about to start reading this story. Good thing I found the disc thread
>>
No. 9704 ID: 57aa53

>>319451
this actualy looks better that the fatass schyte you made there u.u

also we need a distilled version of the setting. did waffles got experience or not? brwnie did use HYABEAMU or you trolled us?
>>
No. 9707 ID: 34470e

You had the chance to forcefully capture Waffle(Named Basque in the fanfic) and Gaston(named Polybius in the fanfic)(which is what happened in the fanfic), and you didn't take it.
You had the chance to piss off both nidoran(which is what happened in the fanfic) and you didn't take it.
You had the chance to forcefully make Gaston fight, and you didn't take it.
You have the chance to not team up with Alvis Frost, though I don't want you to do that.
You have the chance to make Dai be an asshole trainer if you choose to suggest like that.
You had and still have a chance to ask about Odin's past.
You have a chance to release any and all pokemon Dai owns, though I don't want you to do that.
If I was railroading, things would have went exactly like what happened in the fanfic.

If you still aren't convinced, I'll stop the fanfic entirely. Then, when you reach chapter 5, you won't be ABLE to accuse me of railroading to follow my fanfic.
>>
No. 9708 ID: 34470e

>>319504
In this world, pokemon can get experience by watching other pokemon fight. So yes, Waffle gained experience.

Yes, Brownie used Hyper Beam. Think of it as a dangerous forbidden technique that's cast from hp to inexperienced pokemon. Brownie nearly fainted because he wasn't as strong as, say, a pokemon who can fight all the gym leaders in succession and make it through without using any healing items.(the pokemon who CAN do that are not negatively affected by Hyper Beam)
>>
No. 9712 ID: 74f445

I think there are concerns about Dai being a Mary Sue. Some typical warning signs are the whole 'talking to animals' thing, gaining pokemon just by talking to them, the goal of 'Pokemon Queen,' and having a strong pikachu whose life she saved.

She's Ash Ketchum, basically.

Don't get me wrong- I think that Sues are written, not made. A character can be okay even when she has every one of these traits- hell, you can even name her Dai Ketchum and I won't necessarily dismiss her. When the universe starts bending around her, that's when I'll start worrying. Did start worrying. The Hyper Beam thing kind of seemed more like giving Brownie a super powerful attack just for the sake of having it (or for the sake of indulging whomever suggested it). I guess the only way I can see it as not arbitrarily breaking the rules is if any pokemon can do it, or at least any pokemon who has a high special attack stat.

I'll keep reading because I see potential and I'm a sucker for pokemon, but I'm kind of dubious about your changes. Talking to pokemon is kind of understandable since it's tough to have characters who the protagonist can't understand. But Odin speaking, the Hyper Beam thing, and probably more? Well, we'll see.
>>
No. 9714 ID: 34470e

>>319512
I'd like to apologize in advance if Dai or anyone else turns out to be a Mary Sue. This is my first quest, and I'm not the best storyteller ever. If anyone seems seems Mary Sue-ish, please tell me on how I can "downgrade" them.
>>
No. 9716 ID: 34470e

>>319512
The hyper beam was sort of a Sure Why Not. The only suggestions I had were "finish it off" "with a tackle" "then a hyperbeam". I chose to go with "tackle then hyperbeam" because I didn't want the battle scene to go on long, and a tackle wasn't enough to finish off a regular Scyther in my opinion.
>>
No. 9717 ID: 34470e

One more thing: Someone tell 5copper about the IRC channel. His latest suggestion confuses me.
>>
No. 9723 ID: 74f445

>>319516
Fair enough! Just try not to warp your version of the pokemon universe too much. People throw out half-joking suggestions all the time, but you you can bet that we'll be recommending Hyper Beam whenever Dai gets in too much trouble now that there's a precedent.

((Also, this isn't directly related, but in your fanfic I recommend trying to make it more clear who's speaking. I got confused a few times while reading through it, but that should be easy enough to fix by adding a few 'Odin said's and 'I told her's.)
>>
No. 9724 ID: 57aa53

>>319516
i has no time, had to be sleepin already.

you could have gone with a more specific move like thunder. he didnt even had how to isolate himself while flinched.
>>
No. 9737 ID: b489f8
File 126457061584.png - (13.47KB , 503x409 , 126456919718.png )
9737

I don't really follow this quest, but every time I scroll past this image, I laugh.
>>
No. 9738 ID: 34470e
File 126457169810.png - (7.90KB , 503x409 , 32.png )
9738

>>319537
I'm sorry my art looks funny because I use MSPaint and a mouse. I prefer my Angrychu pic.
>>
No. 9742 ID: 126d08
File 126457524712.png - (27.00KB , 800x600 , The_End_Is_Nigh.png )
9742

>>319538
MSPaint and a mouse you say?
>>
No. 9744 ID: c1b520
File 126457646451.png - (8.68KB , 658x350 , mspaint.png )
9744

>>319542
Gus: "Guy's I think this kid's dissing ms paints capability!"

Rowan: "Who cares? I'm running over five quests and regulating three different universes in a multiverse. Quantity over quality I always say."

Donatio: "Stop complaining and tell someone who cares, I've got to try and convince the real Rowan to keep practicing my awesome look on ms paint so he can stop drawing me there as a god damn midget."
>>
No. 9752 ID: f35d0a
File 126460611323.png - (46.87KB , 700x500 , a hypocrite speaks out.png )
9752

>>319544

"Tell them they should bring their fetishes for memory-eating art programs riddled with USELESS FEATURES and UNMANLY EFFECTS to a dark alleyway and shove them up their tight, virgin asses!"
>>
No. 10007 ID: cf68aa
File 126493373899.png - (15.05KB , 352x595 , mwahaha.png )
10007

I win.
>>
No. 10040 ID: f98e0b
File 126498671677.png - (37.90KB , 800x600 , bromxpolyotp.png )
10040

bromeliad love polygonal selection
>>
No. 10043 ID: c1b520
File 126499039320.png - (24.00KB , 841x731 , Donatio 1st attempt.png )
10043

>>319807
Donatio: "It would be better for you to keep your mouth closed boy. You'll live longer."
>>
No. 10044 ID: 34470e

Okay, I'm not going to let this turn into a second fanart thread. Stop or be smacked around a bit with a large trout.
>>
No. 10133 ID: 34470e

>WHAT!? I don't think Iron Defense is a move...
http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Iron_Defense_(move)
>>
No. 10139 ID: e0499d

>>319933
... this is what I get from only having played up to Silver... >_>
>>
No. 10141 ID: 632862

Hurrislash definitely isn't a move.

So just go along with it. All bets are off.
>>
No. 10171 ID: 34470e
File 126532926310.jpg - (158.14KB , 557x414 , Croason_by_JESGRAD07.jpg )
10171

Oh man I just HAVE to use this! It looks so awesome!

Croason by JESGRAD07
http://jesgrad07.deviantart.com/art/Croason-141891029
>>
No. 10175 ID: fa7b85

>>319971
Do that and well all credibility lost... oh wait this is already fucking railroaded to follow the fanfic
>>
No. 10178 ID: 34470e

>>319975
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WriterBashing
>>
No. 10179 ID: fa7b85

>>319978
No I'm just going on and telling you that your quest SUCKS.
>>
No. 10180 ID: 34470e
File 12653497406.png - (52.00KB , 843x471 , THAT4.png )
10180

>>319979
You see this button here? You know what it does? It makes the quest go away. Just one click and you'll never have to worry about it again. Even a 2-year-old can understand that!
>>
No. 10182 ID: 126d08

>>319978
>This quest started out as a fanfic.
>There are some differences between the fanfiction and the quest already.

><Shiitake> ...a Pikachu cannot learn Hyper Beam.
><Goldude> In my world it knows it

>the whole 'talking to animals' thing, gaining pokemon just by talking to them, the goal of 'Pokemon Queen,' and having a strong pikachu whose life she saved.

>Oh man I just HAVE to use this! It looks so awesome! Croason by JESGRAD07

There are reasons.
>>
No. 10183 ID: 34470e

>>319982
I'm sorry I'm not the best storyteller in the world. Nor artist. Nor writer. I JUST FUCKING SUCK!
>>
No. 10184 ID: 34470e

>This quest started out as a fanfic.
>There are some differences between the fanfiction and the quest already.
It doesn't have to necessarily follow the fanfic. You have the chance to completely ignore all of Kanto, Johto, etc. and go to a completely made-up region. You can piss off Alvis and Odin enough to make them leave your team. You can even have Dai convince Odin and Alvis to go on a fucking rampage with her!

><Shiitake> ...a Pikachu cannot learn Hyper Beam.
><Goldude> In my world it knows it
Every single Pikachu in my world knows Hyper Beam, not just Brownie. Every Single Scyther in the world knows Hurrislash, not just Odin. Plus having Brownie use hyperbeam when he's so weak is a bad idea.

>the whole 'talking to animals' thing, gaining pokemon just by talking to them, the goal of 'Pokemon Queen,' and having a strong pikachu whose life she saved.
You're the ones who convinced the Pokemon, not me. Plus, Brownie isn't that strong.

>Oh man I just HAVE to use this! It looks so awesome! Croason by JESGRAD07
Hmmm... If I recall correctly, Brock has a Croagunk in the anime, doesn't he? He might not use it, might not. I might use the Croasun for Brock's main pokemon he fights with, or just for comedy.

And I aleady told you that I'm willing to take advice on how to improve my quest. Instead, all you're saying is "it sucks".
>>
No. 10185 ID: 6faa8c

>>319983
It's clear to me you need to improve, yes, but there is potential. I was just as bad once. :V

If you're going to adopt a setting, you need to understand that with it come rules that should be followed in most cases. For instance, if this were based on DnD, a Barbarian wouldn't know sneak attack, because that simply doesn't make sense.

And normally only end-evolution pokemon and rare ones (like Aerodactyl and Gyarydos or howeverthefuck you spell them) can learn Hyper Beam, because it is a superpowerful attack that you earn. A Sure Why Not should be done with minor things or things that improve the plot. Example: Dreamveiwing via the Inquisitor's Handbook in hatquest was originally not going to work, but then I was like "Fuck it, backstory would kick ass."


As for art? Fuck art. You don't need it to succeed. If you want to be good at it, focus on it. If you want the writing to be better, abandon it entirely. There's a reason I don't draw Hatquest saga.
>>
No. 10186 ID: bd36a1

just feel like pointing out, that there IS a Hyper Beam TM sold at the Celadon department store in Red and Blue, so you COULD teach a Pikachu, or even a pidgey Hyper Beam
>>
No. 10187 ID: 34470e

>>319985
>If you're going to adopt a setting, you need to understand that with it come rules that should be followed in most cases. For instance, if this were based on DnD, a Barbarian wouldn't know sneak attack, because that simply doesn't make sense.
I don't see how a Persian can know Thunder, Thunderbolt, and Shock Wave, nor how Chikorita doesn't know how to use Sand Attack nor Vine Whip. I don't see how Trading Pokemon in order for them to evolve makes any sense.

>And normally only end-evolution pokemon and rare ones (like Aerodactyl and Gyarados can learn Hyper Beam, because it is a superpowerful attack that you earn.
I'm making Hyperbeam dangerous for weak Pokemon to use. So the more your Pokemon train, the safer it is to use them. I'm giving leeway to who can and cannot use what moves.

As for art? Fuck art. You don't need it to succeed. If you want to be good at it, focus on it. If you want the writing to be better, abandon it entirely. There's a reason I don't draw Hatquest saga.
Well, I want to improve on both things.

...

LET'S JUST SAY THE POKEMON WORLD ALREADY ESTABLISHED SUCKS COCK
>>
No. 10188 ID: 6faa8c

>>319986
... If they can learn it.

TM =/= learnable by all. Most birds can't learn the elemental punches, for example.
>>
No. 10189 ID: 34470e

>>319988
>Most birds can't learn the elemental punches
>most birds not having hands in order to form a fist
>>
No. 10190 ID: 6faa8c

>>319987
>I don't see how a Persian can know Thunder, Thunderbolt, and Shock Wave,
Static fur I shit you not. :V

>nor how Chikorita doesn't know how to use Sand Attack nor Vine Whip.
Because it's in the damn show that the 'necklace' can turn into vines, and its tiny little feet can't turn up enough dirt, and it doesn't like getting its only source of chlorophyll dirty because that would block sunlight. :V
>I don't see how Trading Pokemon in order for them to evolve makes any sense.
Energy shoved into it as a byproduct of the system. :V

If you don't like how a setting works, don't set out to 'fix it'. Make yer own.
>>
No. 10193 ID: fa7b85

>>319986
Um... you can have the TM but the mon WILL NOT be able to learn it.

Fucking do some research on movesets before you post or you make yourself look like a moron.
>>
No. 10194 ID: 2cbe3e

>>319993

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Hyper_Beam_%28move%29

This guy's right. I'd recommend using Bulbapedia if you need any pokemon research. They have an extensive amount of info about pokemon.
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