good art bro

I'm enjoying the hell out of your quest so far. I love that the not even the super scary scythe-bladed antagonist isn't an invincible, untouchable badass.
There's a great sense that plot armor can only do so much in this quest.
Also, I hope for more opportunities to control the "red" faction. It's easy to get caught up in keeping the PC's alive, but I'm interested in learning more about Nero and his crew.

>So what happened to John's chalkboard?
-He stashed it back in the inventory

>The english seems a bit janky in some places, though. Are you a native english speaker?
-Nope im russian

>John's the same person as the one we started out with right? and is john a guy or girl?
-it half right... John is a dead guy who's brain was rewritten by girl = she transfered her memories into blank brain

>good art bro
-thanks

I just wanted to let you know that I'm really enjoying the quest so far.

Also, I quite like your art, do you post your stuff on any sites?

>I just wanted to let you know that I'm really enjoying the quest so far.

Thanks :D

>Also, I quite like your art, do you post your stuff on any sites?

DA - http://alkogolik.deviantart.com
FA - http://www.furaffinity.net/user/volpachiotto/

Keep on questing, I'm interested to see where this thing is headed.

The art is really decent by any measure - action scenes are where it shines, imo, you're good at dynamic poses.

The character desings are cool and stylish (Jonh's mask, Nero's "face plate", etc). I like that the protagonists of the "good" team retain part of their humanity even though on the outside they're hardly different from the monsters they fight.

What sort of rubs me the wrong way is that the quest gives off a "hey I'm gonna do RubyQuest how do you like it?" vibe, but it's been done so many times by now it barely even bothers me.

The dialogues are your weak point, if I had to point one. This is partially discounted by the fact that English is not your first language (I'm Russian too by the way, so hi there!), but at times it really looks you just got lazy:
>Ember
>- Its none of your business
>- (to say shortly keeps asking a lot of questions)

Oh, and letting people vote on a semi-important choice and going with the minority is kind of bad form. It makes the poll look entirely redundant.

All that said, do go on.

>What sort of rubs me the wrong way is that the quest gives off a "hey I'm gonna do RubyQuest how do you like it?" vibe, but it's been done so many times by now it barely even bothers me.
Survive crazy ruined lab is practically a genre by now :V

>Oh, and letting people vote on a semi-important choice and going with the minority is kind of bad form. It makes the poll look entirely redundant.
I kind of disagree with that. Ignoring the majority suggestions isn't something you want to do all the time, but doing it sometimes for an in-character reason can establish that character as having a personality other than that of the suggesters.

>Oh, and letting people vote on a semi-important choice and going with the minority is kind of bad form. It makes the poll look entirely redundant.
It's definitely something that shouldn't be overused, but subverting a vote can be have a real impact. I think Ember's reaction pulled it off perfectly.

>>79442
>Oh, and letting people vote on a semi-important choice and going with the minority is kind of bad form. It makes the poll look entirely redundant.

I like when people take suggestions that are interesting, even if they represent a minority. However, when giving the suggesters a pure binary yes/no decision, it can be hard to justify using the minority vote. Especially if it makes people feel like they're going to get screwed over later because of it.

I thought it was an interesting way of dealing with it though.

>What sort of rubs me the wrong way is that the quest gives off a "hey I'm gonna do RubyQuest how do you like it?"

Yeah i notice that too, its the same way for me...

Original idea was to have 4 main characters that existed in a different timelines affecting each others with their actions... you can see by the style at the beginning that i was shooting for classic room based quest... then it was layers upon layers of opened closed door and other stuff in the room... i just kept getting more and more confused... meh its my first quest, so i thought f**k it im gonna use it as testing grounds...

>The dialogues are your weak point, if I had to point one.

True... thats why i kept characters that can talk to one another as far away as possible. And for some time even thought of resorting to a - "Ember told him what she thought about the situation"

>(to say shortly keeps asking a lot of questions)

For this one didnt want just copy past every single line of dialog written by the readers... there was a lot of it... it wasnt the lazyness... thou i did get lazy on many other occasions...

>Oh, and letting people vote on a semi-important choice and going with the minority is kind of bad form. It makes the poll look entirely redundant.

Well idea was to get as many cons against killing him as possible the show how they wash off against Ember with no effect (she would kill him ether way)... others said it better character building

>Survive crazy ruined lab is practically a genre by now :V

Lab is just another word for dungeon :)

I stand corrected, if the characters are supposed to have a mind of their own (as oppposed to being tgchan's proxy), ignoring certain voices can be a legit way of fleshing them out.
It's just that in the case of Twig's fate it looked that the voices would spell the final word. To me, that is.
If Ember was going to end him anyway, it would've been more appropriate to ask "Is there any good reason Ember shouldn't squish the little bastard?" and not "should Ember kill him or let him be?"

>Nero the Scythehand - instant awesome villian.
>Loses non-scythe arm-decrease in awesomeness?
>Waist bow combo technique with minion.
>Awesomeness restored.

It's facsinating how incredibly high on the scale this guy scores in coolness, while at the same time apparently being so very mortal as well.

>If Ember was going to end him anyway, it would've been more appropriate to ask "Is there any good reason Ember shouldn't squish the little bastard?" and not "should Ember kill him or let him be?"

Yeah... originally i just wanted to list everyone who picks not kill options... but when but when i started reading suggestions, it gave me an idea :)

>It's facsinating how incredibly high on the scale this guy scores in coolness, while at the same time apparently being so very mortal as well.

Its wierd how originally i wanted to make him sorta resident nemesis here, always lurking nearby, unkillable, unstoppable.

NO that's clearly John now
I mean, look at her? powers! Even if her? body dies she? can find another one. But her? current body is all super nemesis like too. With less tentacles.
I don't even know if the body we found her? in that first room was the original, which it probably wasn't considering the lack of memories.

okay wtf is this cord? no one wants to play with the kid that pulls out the "everything proof force-field" and says that all of your ideas don't work.

>okay wtf is this cord? no one wants to play with the kid that pulls out the "everything proof force-field" and says that all of your ideas don't work.

ughhh... its not just a simple cord i thought it was clear... what was the point of having it if it was just that easy to simply cut if...

Its like saying - you are being shot at... suggestion - dodge it... you are dodged it succesfully...
what even the point in this case to even get character shot at...

Bob is actually the character who can produce solution that can counter Johns ability ... it was left unknown because John never attempted to touch him... im not coming up with abilities out of the thin air...

PS
Idea of glue on thorns "cord" and arrow i took straight out of Guyver there was character named Somlum he also possesed ability to produce a molecular bonding agent which would actually merge with any object it touched and could not be removed...

If you think im being unfair, well i cant say anything that would prove other wise... sorry

And yeah i do say that grabbing or biting something that able to merge with your body on molecular level is dumb idea...

CUT
"you can't cut it"
BREAK
"you can't break it"
BITE
"that just makes it worse"

if there WAS a way out of it and it was "obvious" then it wasn't obvious. if there wasn't any way out, then why even let us try?

we have no options left but insane or stupid ideas.

Its cuz i didnt make it obvious... i didnt want it to be easy, i wanted it to be a hard choice... there arent always a way out... shit happens its how you deal with it that matters...

What could Ember do? Kick John in the face and not drag him along with her...
What could Sarah do? Stop John from grabbing Ember and getting dragged along with her...

>abandon someone
good luck selling that to anyone here. will get EVERYONE killed before letting someone be a sacrifice.

i don't think it's unfair
mainly because we almost cut the quest short within 5 or six chapters and have no idea what's really going on

This whole gate encounter is CLEARLY meant to be a huge cocktease.

>good luck selling that to anyone here. will get EVERYONE killed before letting someone be a sacrifice.

Yeah, again my bad... i didnt think much on that part... but i will learn from that :) first quest ever, mistakes like that where bound to happen... :) still thanks for pointing it out

I don't find it particularly unfair that biting didn't work. Out of all the powers lying around there was bound to be something we couldn't just bite our way through, and Nero would have good reason to find that power after the whole arm thing. (Also from a narrative standpoint it is pretty normal for a special attack that completely wins one major fight to be significantly less effective from then on, so the hero doesn't just spam that ability for everything.)

i demand lewd scenes!

>i demand lewd scenes!

maybe next time star XD...

Everybody did a good job at avoiding them :)

moving to correct thread
>no lewd scenes
not true
Ember looked at John's buttocks
Gonna guess the other scenes partakers Nero/ember, sarah/john, sarah/ember/john, nero/his gang/ember/john/sarah, nero/john, ember/john
we avoided the orgy ending by fighting Nero as Sarah when we freaked out at the hoard, and then by not joining him as Ember and John.
john/ember/sarah double blowjob probably would have happened if they were trapped and bored still in the lab somewhere and the escape attempt was decided fruitless. Can still happen if the boat takes forever to get to folkmore and they get bored.
non-orgy nero scenes only available by playing as red team
This is all very clear and has obvious setups in the quest

John can't have sex with anyone, he's made of flesh-eating bacteria!

>John can't have sex with anyone, he's made of flesh-eating bacteria!

That is not entirely true, there are some individuals who's ability can counter John flesh eating skin... won't point finger at them thou...

There's also the fact that John didn't start as John. Wrong-body intimacy might be... unsettling, at the very least.

as for the lewd seance... when and where

I mean the only chance I really saw anything that could have maybe have been lewd is when Ember and John were stuck together and that would have been more awkward trying to get apart then anything.

Maybe when we're in the medical room if we thought striping Sarah would have helped us treat the wound.

I would be interested in the quest continuing, though it would probably take some planning due to the sudden genre/setting shift from lab escape to post-apocalyptic survival (unless Twig was just lying about that part).

>lewd seance
>seance (communing with spirits or ghosts)
Amusingly, that typo actually kind of makes more sense in John's case than a normal lewd scene.

I still don't get why the John's locket is "From E to J" rather than "From R to R" or something like that.

>I still don't get why the John's locket is "From E to J" rather than "From R to R" or something like that.

Its gaping plothole on my part... soo lets say when Rob and Rose bought them it was already engraved on them...

I'm thankful that you allowed for the escape to end the chapter and possibly even the quest itself, rather than jumping through hoops to find an excuse to prevent their escape, thus drawing out the plot for longer.

>I'm thankful that you allowed for the escape to end the chapter and possibly even the quest itself, rather than jumping through hoops to find an excuse to prevent their escape, thus drawing out the plot for longer.

Well if characters managed to escape who am i to say otherwise :)

Sombermann 2014/02/20(Thu)10:45 No. 79800 ID: 13ef94
File 139292190496.png - (204.70KB , 700x1400 , John.png )

John's look in the second part...
He has a backpack with mounted flashlight.

I have a quick question involving John.

Does John know that he was originally a chick and does he know that he's a guy now? If yes to any of those questions does this bother him in any way?

>Does John know that he was originally a chick and does he know that he's a guy now? If yes to any of those questions does this bother him in any way?

-Like a water off the duck's back, it doesnt bother her/him that much.

So I was just like, "hey, I'm gonna do drawing practice, let's see - oh, I'll sketch some of Sombermann's stuff" and it's made me realize: you do really good with perspective. Like, maybe other artists are good at it, too, but you actually USE it. A lot. And pull it off really nicely. And perspective is hard! So...well done!

If you happen to have any tips on how to do that, I'm all ears, but really I just wanted you to know that you have my approval.

>>79812
Well aside of some basic stuff like objects become smaller further away it gets from the "screen" i can give you tips like:
1) Start drawing picture first with space in it and after that "plant" character and object inside.
2) Try to put dot in the background or even outside the frame, where all parallel lines come together. (After some practice you should be able to do it in your head and with multiple points of perspective)
3) Choose angle and "sharpness" of perspective depending on what you want to convey. (low angles and "sharp" perspective for intense action.)
4) Use prespective to focuse on movement in the frame, lines follow direction of movement.
5) Often more important is to choose right point of view, to make it easy to draw prespective.

For better examples... i donno read a comics or manga. I got ahold of the basics through that.

>>79813
Cool, thanks. A few questions:
In 2, by "multiple points of perspective", do you mean like how some art books show, like, a cube where different sets of edges are lined up towards 1, 2, or 3 points, giving a slightly different effect?
In 3, by "sharp perspective", do you mean, like...more opposite from isometric? Like, isometric is not-sharp, and the less isometric you get = the sharper the perspective?
In 4, do you mean, like, choose your point of view such that a lot of the lines in the shot end up parallel to any motion that is occurring?

Thanks!

Cool, thanks. A few questions:
In 2, by "multiple points of perspective", do you mean like how some art books show, like, a cube where different sets of edges are lined up towards 1, 2, or 3 points, giving a slightly different effect?

>something like that, it will help to draw everything that is not just a simple hallway and room.

In 3, by "sharp perspective", do you mean, like...more opposite from isometric? Like, isometric is not-sharp, and the less isometric you get = the sharper the perspective?

>you go for lower angle in frame and bigger perspective foreshortening. (like man that make dramatic swing with his fist and it appears a lot bigger to viewer.)

In 4, do you mean, like, choose your point of view such that a lot of the lines in the shot end up parallel to any motion that is occurring?

>yep but not always :D

>>79822
Thanks!

Sombermann which is your favorite character

>Sombermann which is your favorite character

hmm...it easier to say who is my least favorite character.

but as favorite go i got two...
First one is a dead guy in the sunglasses (he is a private detective named Larry Cross tasked with searching for a missing person)
Second one is yet to appear in the story rookie police officer Edward Yang...

>>79835
well now i'm curious about least favorite
i'm going to pour through the archives to find that corpse with sunglasses and wonder why we didn't pilfer them for John or Ember to wear.

I hope Nero got them
Nero with Sunglasses would be bitchin.
Or Bob. Good old Bob. Good old sticky Bob, John's best male friend and greatest enemy.

oh it looks like we already pilfered them by the start of thread 2
why is no one wearing them?

oh no I found out who the corpse was
we could have had him in the party and be all friendly but we had to go and toss that bomb into the incinerator and get him killed.

Wow Sombermann we kill your favorite character in the first chapter by accident

Well what else were we supposed to do about the bomb? Defuse it with no training?

Well we died anyway and got a new body, we didn't know it at the time but turns out throwing the bomb got us killed too.

I mean, as far as we knew it seemed like the best idea, but with hindsight actually trying to disarm it ourselves would have probably had a better effect. It would have been entirely random chance, but random is better than a sure explosion.