Okay.

LW tells me that I need to give your quest a critique so far so here goes.

After reading through it for the first time, the first major thing that I see is grammar. Capital letters, punctuation, spelling words right, all of that makes your quest more readable.

Second, using second-person narrative like a choose your own adventure book hasn't really worked in the past, and most quests that have used it (including mine) have abandoned it in favor of first or third person. The problem with second person is that it doesn't allow for the main character have any say in anything, and thus have zero personality. Quests kinda rely on us being enveloped in the main character's storyline, so we need to be able to care about them by knowing who they are.

Third, I would say join the OC's whenever they pop up and start looking into some how to draw books, or just get tips from some of the pro's here. Someone here can give you a crash course on anatomy sometime pretty easily. Just grab me or Lucid or Gnoll or Bitequest sometime and we'll do it. Probably.

Fourth, don't just copy and paste your pictures, I know it sounds hard but try to redraw things each time, you'll learn how to draw much faster that way.

That's all I can really say for now.

>>360420
was that, 'spelling is ok' or 'spelling could use work'?

k i will switch most likely to first, i had an idea of being the guy who moves the piece... rather than pretending to be the piece himself. I'll swap that up soon.

"join the OC's" sorry what is/are OC's? drawing and stuff I'm practicing, i did literally copy past the difference between the first two images, I'm going to try and reduce fidelity so that i can draw and redraw characters without too much 'inflatable limb syndrome'. I'm doing so with my ship as of this moment actually, redrawing with different angles as to not use the same thing twice.

>>360421
Spelling could use work.

OC is OpenCanvas. Ask about it in IRC.

Reusing backgrounds is generally not a problem, I would say.

Making your quest readable is pretty important though. Read over your text before you post to reduce mistakes.

I don't know that second person narrative is a dealbreaker, or can't be used effectively, although it is always going to be somewhat awkward.

>>360451
Yeah, reusing backgrounds is not a problem, but characters should generally be redrawn.

Well, my original advice for running the quest, rather than the goal of improving my art (which is kinda my goal with this but not a primary one), was to focus more on the story and storytelling rather than how good my art looks, because really, it isn't anything spectacular. So I had been told that copy paste for the most part was my friend.

Also: my 'spelling'... well I do most of my typing in notepad, simply because I don't have word and starting up OpenOffice ever time I want to do a little note on my story here or there becomes bothersome. It also doesn't help in the way it should. I happen to type mostly in IM chat and as a result spelling and grammar in terms of dictionary accuracy has fallen by the wayside. I do apologize but I will probably miss a capital 'i' a lot.

>>360505

Personally, I have a google docs account that I use to type up all my updates. It has a spell check feature for extra laziness, and you can bring it up anywhere that you have the internet.

>>360505
>>I do apologize but I will probably miss a capital 'i' a lot.

This is super, super annoying. Don't do this.

I type shit in notepad, but when I paste it into the "message" box I read over it and firefox will tell you if something is spelled wrong.

The problem with making excuses like this is that there is no reason to spell things wrong. using googledocs or firefox is insanely easy, so what it really does is make it look like you don't give a shit about your quest. If the author isn't willing to spend five minutes making sure his text is readable, why should a suggester bother reading it?

No one is going to jump down your throat about the occasional mistake, but saying that you aren't going to bother is an entirely different issue.

I apologise.

>>360506
I’m using google docs now, to write this post, and it seems like this will be a large lifesaver, thank you for letting me know.

>>360508
My apology for spelling seems to have flown itself wildly into the great yonder... I don't mean that I didn't care about spelling or the quality of my quest, but that it hadn't been prioritized as it should, your meaning in that regard is clear now so I will be fixing this all for future updates.

EmotivePanda 2012/05/04(Fri)11:24 No. 52210 ID: 3f47eb
File 133615586811.jpg - (1.36MB , 1994x1676 , shiplines.jpg )

So hey, here are some of the sketches I've done for this. (not all but some, the rest aren't really sketches)

EmotivePanda 2012/05/04(Fri)11:26 No. 52211 ID: 3f47eb
File 133615596150.jpg - (1.34MB , 2048x1676 , weapons.jpg )

and the other.

Hey everyone! I'm going to be starting this up again with several changes:
First, art complexity reduction. this means less overall amount of lines, and very little color (some indicative energy colors like what LW uses for consistency reasons and greys for partial shading). Why? Because I should practice on my own with my own time and I'd rather have more updates with more story than “better art” that won't actually be very good anyway (for now).

Second, a lot more planning. I'm going to be filling out the world they are on with a lot of fun stuff. Additionally I’m going to be working with LW to ensure my Astran mechanics and lore is good to go which will have a twofold purpose: Stuff I do will make sense for canon reasons AND to give you all another quest opportunity to help explain certain things about the universe (restricted by LW’s approval so there aren't any spoilers in MY quest for things he’s planning on doing in a later quest… I’ve already done this once so I’m trying not to do it again… I’m also not telling you what it was that I ‘spoiled’ even though it should actually be just fine). Part of this preparation has been filling out backstories for all the main characters present at this time.

So does anyone have any questions or comments regarding anything?

(before anyone asks, yes I'll need my quest pulled from the graveyard, but I don't have an update ready yet so I'll hop on IRC and let one of the mods know when I'm ready)

Ok, so... I found out why my quest currently sucks... so I've cut out a ton of useless crap and now we can get to the meat of exploring the planet. and hopefully this will begin to get awesome like I wanted it to.