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File 128418040470.png - (136.15KB , 928x550 , aaa.png )
22942 No. 22942 ID: 0b2a05

<Theta][Sigma> now I have mental images of a dick chart for all the different quest character species.

Throughout history, man has engaged in the contest of "whose is bigger." The words "I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours" have visited their share of backyards. Today, we bring you that same experience, quest-style: The Definitive /Quest/ Character Penis Chart.

Now, technically, "penis" is a limited definition, so you can use "intromittent organ" if you want to. Claspers, gonopodia, hemipenes, aedeagi, etc. are equally welcome.

With all the variety present here, it seems to me like a fascinating endeavour for science... And of course we can finally figure out whose is biggest.

In this thread you can and should request for authors to contribute characters.
You can also ask for info about why any of the chart entries are thusly shaped, or other relevant things.
Authors don't need to consult with anyone to add on; just draw the thing on the chart with the name and species/race of the character. That's it! Do try to keep to the general style of a black outline with colourless shading. Otherwise, draw it as if it were an image in your quest!

Known entrants: Anciu, Baod*, Eustice, Everett*, Glukmil*, Jehral, Narus, Ram, Ruzke*, Sekani**, Sul, Tiak, Epsilon*
Completed: Anciu, Baod*, Narus, Ram, Ruzke*, Tiak

*Drawn with permission from quest author, by someone else.
**Permission granted but no designated artist. If you want to draw an entry for one of these, please contact the person who owns the character, to make sure you do it right. If you don't mind submitting one of your characters into this category, say so in this thread!
36 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 23030 ID: 97cb33

>>332828
nono, he said plant/fungus because they have properties of both. those trees with the eggs on them are what that part looks like alone. the egg things are ovum which unless they come out that size (ouch) get stuck to the tree and grow over several years. if a scellor dies on soil then the fungal part eats the body and grows into a new tree. unless the scellor that died had an ovem waiting to be laid when this happens then it needs to be found by other scellor before it starts producing anything.

so the female would lay an ovum at like... a fist sized pod. which is then placed on the tree. the tree then acts as the placenta, feeding the child until it is big enough to be born. the female and male obviously combine the animal parts together.

now with that sorted out i think taht the father doesn't contribute fungal part directly but what happens is the fungal parts in the ovum fuses with the tree. fertilizing the fungal section of the child and letting it row properly.
>>
No. 23062 ID: a41aaf

So, they would essentially have 3 sexes (male, female, and fungal)? Sounds a bit like the alien race in The Gods Themselves (Asimov).
>>
No. 23064 ID: 754124

>>332830
>>332862
So basically, there three sexes are Male, Female, and Dead.
>>
No. 23070 ID: 98e08d

Keeping in mind that the setting runs on science fiction of about the same hardness as Star Wars, the kel (that being the name for this plant/fungus lifeform in its distinct form) exists in a scellor's body (its second life stage) in two forms. First, in a large system that is in place of the lymphatic system that humans have, with further outgrowths connecting it through the centers of the nervous system and brain and, in particular, the orel and the tail, with strong connections all the way down the spine. This is part of the powerful scellor immune system, as the animal and kel aspects of their biology each eliminate infections in the other. It also spreads the psychic emanations of the undermind throughout the body and acts as a secondary, psychic nervous system, allowing the scellor greater perception and control of psychic powers; in case of disturbance in the normal nervous system, it can even be used as a backup, though reaction time is slow. This can be thought of as the "roots" of the kel in the scellor body.

The second aspect is the kel "spores", which exist in every animal cell in place of mitochondria, performing the same service (though not with quite the same efficiency, which contributes to the high dietary requirements of the scellor). In addition to this function, these spores can be psychically influenced to manipulate macro- and micro-biology, facilitating the art of psychometabolism.

Kel is dependent on trace amounts of psykonium, and in absence of enough will start to grow in search of more. The animal half of the scellor, aided by their own psychic power, can keep this in check to a degree; at the age of about twenty, this begins to become harder to keep balanced and the scellor must depend on a higher intake of psykonium and a greater application of psychic power to keep the kel in check. Thus, a scellor who has greater psychic power and more regular access to psykonium can live longer. Those who do not have these face slow paralysis and eventual death. Upon death, both the "roots" and "spores" of the kel will grow into each other and mature into the kel's third life-stage, in which it takes root, consumes the flesh and grows into a tree.

I imagine the reproductive aspect of the kel could be considered a third aspect of the whole system. As I'm imagining it now, the fertilized egg implants itself into the lining of the uterus and releases hormones that attract the kel, which - either from the mother's body alone or in the first stage of a new organism that is also a mixture of father and mother - begins to grow around the zygote. As it matures into a fetus, the kel grows and hardens into a shell or seed around it, developing a yolk-like store of nutrients from the mother, from whom it gradually takes over the nutrition of the child. At this stage, after about a month of development, the fetus becomes dormant and the entire package, referred to as an ovum, is laid (usually). The ovum can keep the fetus safe and alive in its state of hibernation for a very long time before eventual implantation into a mother tree - a kel tree developed through use of psychometabolism for the job. With nutrients from the tree, the ovum can begin to grow and the infant to develop, over a matter of more than a year, through which the ovum itself extends the kel systems throughout the developing body. The "umbilical cord" extends through the tail, with the gland at the tail tip being the last development before the ovum hatches.

Now, a scellor female does have the option of "holding in" an ovum, and if she does so for more than about two months the ovum will reattach itself and its hard shell be reabsorbed, and the mother's vestigial placental functions will take over. A child can be brought to term in this way, but severe medical complications are certain.

...

why the fuck am i typing all this in the penis thread
>>
No. 23071 ID: d560d6

>>332870
>why the fuck am i typing all this
That is a good question. :V
>in the penis thread
Well, it's sort-of topical.
>>
No. 23074 ID: 5705c9

too much discussion. where are the dicks at? :(
>>
No. 23133 ID: ad7ce3

Seriously, all this hubbub and no one's posted anything? I really doubt the intention here is to have something crazy-detailed and such, given what's in the OP.
>>
No. 23137 ID: 6547ec

Don't look at me!

....

STOP LOOKING AT ME
>>
No. 23140 ID: dad664
File 128443006589.png - (45.81KB , 300x1000 , ffhffhfhfhf.png )
23140

BECAUSE APPARENTLY -I- HAVE TO POST IT IN HERE.

Bleh.
>>
No. 23141 ID: abb30a

>>332940
I'll add a little "x2" next to it in the final version :v
>>
No. 23142 ID: dad664

>>332941
Pfff, that's only for special occasions.
>>
No. 23143 ID: 8bdb6a
File 128443090752.png - (52.76KB , 268x481 , chart_goshen.png )
23143

>>332816
If someone's going to mention the guy by name, out of the blue, a year since the quest was last updated, who am I to argue?
>>
No. 23145 ID: 8bdb6a
File 12844312761.jpg - (110.36KB , 928x550 , M_chart.jpg )
23145

There's no room on the sides of the chart so he'll just have to stand in front of less important characters.
>>
No. 23147 ID: d560d6

>>332945
>less important characters
>is a NORTHERN SERGAL
Easiest layout decision ever?
>>
No. 23148 ID: ad7ce3

>>332943
>>332945
As wonderful as this is, isn't he supposed to wind up on the chart in >>332940 somehow?
>>
No. 23149 ID: d560d6

>>332948
The lineup is character comedy.
The other one has one, deadpan punchline, and that joke's now been made.
>>
No. 23150 ID: 6547ec
File 128443266917.png - (48.69KB , 426x426 , Sekaniisagiantcockgetit.png )
23150

Okay fine
>>
No. 23151 ID: 649123
File 128443323579.jpg - (170.24KB , 928x550 , M_chart_edit.jpg )
23151

I didn't want to notice this.
But I noticed this.
>>
No. 23187 ID: 8c0848
File 128450644896.png - (305.23KB , 928x550 , Dick chart.png )
23187

inb4 this becomes a contest to see who has the character with the biggest dick.

inb4 Lucid posts Ga'nneda.

But in the meanwhile... I AM THE WINNER!
>>
No. 23188 ID: 8bdb6a

Who didn't see that coming?
>>
No. 23189 ID: 70d9eb

>>332987
But what if Goshen is a grower and Thodren is a shower!
>>
No. 23190 ID: d560d6

>>332988
I don't think anyone's seen it coming yet.

What?
>>
No. 23191 ID: f5e6a3

>>332987

Inconclusive. It actually looks more or less the same size as Goshen, actually.



That's what >>332940 is for.
>>
No. 23192 ID: f4963f

>>332987
I like where this is going.
>>
No. 23196 ID: 8c0848
File 128451555158.png - (45.51KB , 300x1063 , Technical specs.png )
23196

Hurr... Dicks
>>
No. 23197 ID: 70d9eb

>>332996
Oh god how can you fit that 16 inch behemoth into anything.
>>
No. 23198 ID: f4963f

>>332997
A good running start.
>>
No. 23199 ID: abb30a

>>332998
I think that move is called the "Large Hardon Collider."
>>
No. 23209 ID: f1df52

>>332997

Well, by finding/bedding a behemoth?
>>
No. 23210 ID: 754124

>>332997
Presumably, female minotaurs have appropriately proportioned vaginas.
>>
No. 23214 ID: 8c0848

>>333010
That is usually how it works, I think.
>>
No. 23216 ID: 8bdb6a

CANON: The minotaur uterus is between their lungs
>>
No. 23222 ID: 8c0848

>>333016
The average human female is about five and a half feet tall and can take 12 inches maximum? I think a seven and a half foot minotaur female would be able to take even more, which puts it well within the realm of possibility. YOU'RE JUST SILLY.
>>
No. 23223 ID: 969e74

>>333022

The average size of a human females vagina is 5-6 inches deep...

That would never, ever be a comfortable 12 inches.
>>
No. 23225 ID: 8c0848

>>333023
I didn't say comfortable. I said maximum tolerance.
>>
No. 23226 ID: ea2a3c

Hey, hey listen.

Bulls horses deer etc are ungulates. They have evolved big muscles for galloping, which give them big asses. Most of the penis's length is just to reach around 'dat ass, and doesn't actually go in. Also they only last a few seconds before finishing.

Now, you want crazy amounts of penetration, try a mallard duck. That's crazy amounts of penetration.
>>
No. 23228 ID: 754124

>>333016
This is why pregnant minotaurs have so much difficulty breathing. And why they have shattered ribcages.
>>
No. 23242 ID: f1df52

Male tozols do not have a penis. The female just rips off the testicles and eats them.
>>
No. 25408 ID: 10c20a
File 128769249540.png - (197.01KB , 1000x1000 , DemeDong.png )
25408

>>332799
just saging because I'm not really sure if this warrants a bump
>>
No. 41637 ID: 13b599
File 131355585874.png - (107.48KB , 900x1600 , ilIdXw2.png )
41637

>>335208
It was more momentous than this! Demesi is a big name here.
>>
No. 48778 ID: a83682
File 132788266866.png - (129.82KB , 900x1700 , doqr.png )
48778

Some benefactors (anonymous for now) contributed new doodads. Only 4/14 are missing now!
>>
No. 51270 ID: a83682
File 133429685167.png - (159.83KB , 900x2000 , doqr.png )
51270

>>
No. 55488 ID: a83682
File 133835705657.png - (148.70KB , 900x2000 , doqr.png )
55488

oops Bo got miscalculated and Kaizi changed sizes
>>
No. 70309 ID: f2c20c

>>70308
Sir, this is a thread of science.
>>
No. 70310 ID: f7f73a

I can't believe I need to say this, given this thread topic. I really can't believe I need to say this or that this could ever apply to a thread with this kind of topic.

But congratulations, you've somehow sullied the spirit of this thread. Before it could be said to be a purely analytical effort, or at least pretended to be. But no. You've made it into a literal dick measuring contest.

This is a dark day for the penis chart thread. why the fuck do we have a penis chart thread in the first place, what's next, a breast chart? vagina chart?? chart of alternate reproductive systems to the conventional mammalian style? actually no that one sounds like a salvageable idea
>>
No. 70311 ID: ec06d0
File 136726591848.jpg - (1.97MB , 3700x2475 , 130119272759.jpg )
70311

>>70310
>a breast chart?
>>
No. 70312 ID: f7f73a

>>70311
One guy's continuing descent into the inner circles of rule 34/63 hell is not the same as a communal chart project.
>>
No. 70313 ID: b3dd38
File 136727072698.png - (140.92KB , 900x2000 , doqr.png )
70313

This opportunity will be taken to address a miscalculation with regard to the size of Kaizi.
>>
No. 70315 ID: 150fea

>>70309
>>70310
Heh... Sorry about that, didn't mean to offend anyone. I'f anyone really cares I'll make a thread for the contest.
>>
No. 70320 ID: a593b6

>>70310
> chart of alternate reproductive systems to the conventional mammalian style? actually no that one sounds like a salvageable idea
A few people would just make that into a competition of how weird and edgy they could be if they still ran quests. So, look, Jukashi would just be the only interesting entry and he already posted an essay in here.
>>
No. 70322 ID: 5d5ee0

>>70320

Yes, yes. We are all aware of your massive boner for harboring petty grudges for extended periods of time. Kindly keep it off the fucking board, kthx
>>
No. 70347 ID: 9dba7d

>>70322
>massive boner
>penis thread
lol
>>
No. 70793 ID: befc95

I'm adding Lilac to this.

give me like 30 minutes.
>>
No. 70799 ID: befc95

>>70793
Done. I gave it to Toastline to add because I'm REALLY REALLY GOOD at fucking up charts.
>>
No. 70961 ID: befc95
File 136979685537.png - (137.54KB , 918x2000 , dix.png )
70961

Now with added Chameleons
>>
No. 70995 ID: 593f45
File 136987919590.png - (62.35KB , 368x375 , dohoho.png )
70995

"I see a Jehral slot that's blank."

>"So?"

"I dunno~ It should probably be filled in. For science or whatever."

>"Nope."

"I haven't seen it in about ten years, so my information might be inaccurate."

>"Hrf..."
>>
No. 71002 ID: bdb3f8

but.. the Jehral on that list is a halfbold. This is a different universe!
>>
No. 71003 ID: cf49fc

>>71002
But Jehral was ALWAYS a half-bold. He was just half-elf or goblin or human or something smaller than a dragon. Or maybe he was just a quarterling.
>>
No. 71005 ID: bc8d67

>>71003
Not the current, rebooted Jehral seen here >>70995. This one is 100% kobold. It might not look like he's pure kobold 'cause Gnoll changed the look of his kobolds to be fuzzbolds.
>>
No. 71006 ID: cf49fc

>>71005
Awww, I liked Spikybolds.
>>
No. 71008 ID: f2c20c

>>70995
So draw it then.
>>
No. 71023 ID: 593f45
File 136999553434.png - (71.95KB , 434x486 , measure.png )
71023

>"Why the hell do I have to be the one on this stupid chart?"

"Because it's funny and you don't have any naked pictures floating around yet. Also, you have no choice."
>>
No. 71026 ID: cf49fc
File 136999896301.png - (589.47KB , 1024x768 , Shapeshifted Forms in parallel universes count.png )
71026

>>71023
He does too have naked pictures floating around!
>>
No. 71031 ID: 57a559

How do you expect him to get hard Rynh? With his hands? No girl, you gotta do it someway some how. Pure dog kobolds hands are simply inefficient for personal foreplay. It's your responsibility.
>>
No. 71033 ID: 0eef61

THIS THREAD STARTED IN A WEIRD PLACE, AND IT JUST KEEPS GETTING WEIRDER
>>
No. 71034 ID: 57a559

>>71033
it won't be long until we start talking about vaginal depth and then finally will this thread peak.
>>
No. 71035 ID: 593f45

>>71034
Like an orgasm.
>>
No. 71036 ID: 735f4f

Clitoris size?
>>
No. 71039 ID: b3dd38
File 137004871082.png - (154.63KB , 900x2000 , doqr2.png )
71039

Sul finally puts in an appearance.
More entrants confirmed for eventual inclusion.
>>
No. 72570 ID: 593f45
File 137180509102.png - (139.26KB , 906x643 , Just measuring and nothing else.png )
72570

Oh geez... I didn't even do anything, except stripping him down and licking him. That would hardlymakethishappenwoulditImeanitsalotbiggerthanIthoughtitwouldbeIfigureditwouldbesomecutelittlenuborsomethin
gbutthatlookslikeitcoulddosomedamageandunlesshesafreakthisiswhatallkoboldguyshavethosepoorlittlekoboldgirlsorm
aybetheyre luckybecause thatsenough for even me... to... uh...

>"Can you speed this up? Not too fast. Sudden movements might be a problem. You'd better calm down too. If you do this with shaky hands, things will get messy really fast."

"R-right!"

Okay. Just give me a bit to work up the nerve to put the tape to it and we'll have the results.

Oh God, it moved!
>>
No. 72571 ID: 9ddf68

>>72570
not turning out the way you thought it would huh?

So think you're going to start having dirty fantasies about him now?
>>
No. 72572 ID: 735f4f

And you wondered why kobolds had so many kids.
>>
No. 72577 ID: 93ed4d

>>72570
Jehral must have an amazing poker face.

... this is probably going to afffect suggestions in the quest 'slightly'
>>
No. 72578 ID: 57a559

Have his sister and Shera help.

His sister probably doesn't give a fuck he probably walks around newd all the time that entire family cuddles and jesus christ the morning wood must be extreme to the point it's annulled all nerves.

Shera so the sight of his sister doesn't make him go completely flaccid.

With those two professionals you should be able to do this no problem.
>>
No. 72581 ID: 450660

>>72578
You have opened up some amazing potential ...!
for delicious boldcest
>>
No. 72599 ID: 593f45
File 137186464529.png - (66.44KB , 418x308 , Final results.png )
72599

Alright, I measured it. Here's your information for your chart thing.

>>72571
We are both young and healthy, so of course we probably think about that... maybe. Do you?

"My parents really want me to have children with you, remember? So, I guess I have."

See? Normal.

>>72572
That and we can have around three or four at a time and we lay eggs, which frees up the space for another three or four eggs. Kobolds used to take over territory by just overrunning the place.

I think we're done here. Now we will never speak of this again.
>>
No. 72601 ID: 735f4f

Be careful if you tease and lead him around to long he will find someone else. And the only other guy in your life is quite a bit higher on the list there.

Also you should check Thodren to make sure there have not been any changes since we last saw him. There was a universe reboot and all.
>>
No. 72615 ID: cf49fc

>>72599
Seven-point-three? Seven-point-three WHAT? Inches? Centimeters? Parsecs? Scalene's-Tails?
>>
No. 72617 ID: 34cbef
File 137189963795.png - (23.24KB , 646x511 , mineisthisbig.png )
72617

yah
>>
No. 72621 ID: ee8b47

>>72599
>I think we're done here. Now we will never speak of this again.

But Rynh, we still don't know if he's particularly large (or small?) for his species! You'll have to look at some others.
>>
No. 72623 ID: 450660

>>72570
>>72599

Large enough to ..... do what?

Come now, Rynh. Do explain your thoughts and feelings to the class. There's nothing to be embarrassed of; it's just youthful energy, no?
>>
No. 72632 ID: 593f45
File 137192685934.png - (44.04KB , 356x329 , nuh uh.png )
72632

>>72615
Inches. That's what we're using, right?

>>72621
Oh well. The only other male kobolds I know are my dad, Jehral's dad and Jehral's six year old brother. None of those are cool by Rynh's rules.

>>72623
Yeah, well, when you belong to a race where 'youthful energy' can score you a dozen kids in the span of a year, you hold off.
I guess anti-fertility charms have been used for hundreds of years and are really popular with adventurer-types, but I never bothered because I wasn't interested in banging dudes left and right and uh...

>>72601
I am not feeling up some giant bull monster to measure his dick. You do it if you're so interested.
>>
No. 72641 ID: f2c20c

>>72632
So you've never had sex because you don't want to get pregnant, and you don't use protection because you don't want to have a lot of sex?

What is this, sex ed in hillbilly country?
>>
No. 72642 ID: 3a3fd8

>>72632

trust me, if I could, I would.
>>
No. 72643 ID: 7e859d

>>72632

>Inches. That's what we're using, right?

Well how long is the typical foot in your era?
>>
No. 72660 ID: c23ab0

>>72641

I've got one word for you, kobolds.
>>
No. 72676 ID: 593f45
File 137199580147.png - (44.87KB , 356x329 , guh.png )
72676

>>72641
Also because the only things I need to actually worry about are other kobolds, other dragons and maybe a few weird crap like pixie faeries.

Kobolds are super fertile with themselves and not fertile with anything else, unless the anything else gets around it by being ridiculously magical. So it wouldn't be an issue until there was another kobold, like Jehral. WHICH IS NOT TO SAY I'M GONNA START BANGING HIM.

I'm just saying that Jehral is not safe, while I could go at Thodren all day long and never have anything happen.

Like you all aren't pushing that shit all the time anyway.
>>
No. 72677 ID: 2645fa

>>72676

this is some very useful information. thank you.

teehee.
>>
No. 72678 ID: 19b3c3

>>72676
You're assuming the kobold species compatibility rule (only fertile with bolds) takes precedence over the draconic one (fertile with damn near everything). And considering there have been few enough draconic half breeds (let alone half kobolds) that each probably qualifies as their own case study (if they were studied at all) you really don't have enough data to say that with certainty.

Obviously the only safe solution is to bang other ladies.
>>
No. 72732 ID: bc8d67

>>72678
And not only is this a strong possibility, it also doesn't preclude you inheriting the kobold super fertility trait as well. So, Rynh, your theory of banging Thodren all day long being perfectly safe (procreation-wise) would not only backfire, it'd very likely do so in a spectacular manner by getting you pregnant with multiples. Half-minotaur multiples... Yep... As if you didn't already have enough reason to never ever be fucked by Thodren.
>>
No. 72734 ID: f05efa

>>72678

Reread the post.

>unless the anything else gets around it by being ridiculously magical.
>>
No. 72740 ID: 1d5849

Rynh, you do know there are other ways for pleasure than straight-on penetration? Even without getting too creative, there are such simple, pleasurable, and completely safe things to use as hands, mouth, and anal.
>>
No. 72754 ID: 450660

>>72676
Rynh! Weird question, but:

If Jehral is over 7 inches long and he's just a regular little kobold, and you're at least twice his size as a half-dragon-bold... just how big of a penis would you have?

I mean, being both a dragon and a bold, doesn't that mean that if you were a guy, you'd have one MONSTER of a dick?
>>
No. 72755 ID: 34cbef
File 137212083949.jpg - (82.38KB , 250x179 , 598-eabf008b6378cc42db37bea37eb7d73d.jpg )
72755

>>72754
Rynh, "whoops, i dropped my monster condom. The one that fits my monstrous sized dong."
>>
No. 72787 ID: cf49fc

>>72755
Hey, if you're doing an opposite gender Rynh, change the name to Rynn at least, to grant SOME differentiation.
>>
No. 72793 ID: f920f8

>>72755

the vast majority of dwarves actually have normal-sized dicks. so it would make sense for a giant to also have normal-sized dick.
>>
No. 72809 ID: 450660

>>72793

I have to ask: are we talking about "dorf" dwarves, or just really short humans?
>>
No. 72823 ID: f920f8

>>72809

humans with dwarfism.

though I have yet to come across a dorf represented as having a below-average cock.
>>
No. 72855 ID: dad2ee

>>72823
But we're not talking about giant kobolds or miniature kobolds

We're talking about kobolds who are half-dragon. They technically arent even kobolds. They're... dragbolds... kogans... things with big dicks.

Hey, how big of dicks do you think Rynh's brothers have?
>>
No. 80693 ID: ca0da5

>>72855
Krogans.
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