Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/02/05(Sat)21:45 No. 136949 ID: e51896
File 164412632113.png - (367.28KB , 1280x720 , RomanceFestival2022sponsorship.png )

Romance Festival 2022 would like to thank the following for making this year’s festival possible. Without their willingness to profit off of other people’s love life, none of this would have been possible! (Can you recognize which company belongs to which quest?)

credits and mild spoilers for answers:
Thanks to Donut, Bitequest, Tippler, EDMANGO, Himitsu, and Sarcopholacooda for letting me use their quest companies’ logos for this silly gag. You guys rule! Please read their quest!

Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/02/05(Sat)21:46 No. 136950 ID: e51896
File 164412637205.png - (77.17KB , 1280x720 , RF2022_0001.png )

Jerry lets out a yawn which slowly alters into a long sigh. Today, as part of ’s sponsorship his employer uncle Ricardo set up with the Romance festival staff, he was ordered to spend some updates at the event making and cooking heart shaped pizzas decorated in heart shaped pepperonis (which he had to carefully cut each individually). This is all to advertise to the attendees that carries the best pizzas in the multiverse. He thinks making the pizzas heart shaped is stupid as he is not quite sure how he can cut each pizza so that the slices would be about the same size each to distribute to the couples.

Jerry will be handing out free pizzas this year to quest characters with toppings of their choice (with heart shaped pepperonis being todays special). However, he could honestly care less about this, and is secretly looking for ways to sneak out of his responsibilities to have some fun and pass the work schedule.

Perhaps if a cute lady were to ask him out, he’ll be willing to use that as an excuse to take a break off of making pizzas. He figures maybe since he already has a meetup with his Secret Santa Sarah Hanchett planned for BEACH DAY 2022 (which could potentially become a date) coming up, it would be a good idea to get some practice in with a cute lady who might be interested in him in this festival anyway, or maybe even hit it off with someone here, and go to BEACH DAY with Sarah just as friends.

For now, he waits for someone’s order, or for a lady to ask him out as he leans on the table bored out of his mind.

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/06(Sun)05:47 No. 136953 ID: 8b82ee
File 164415527443.jpg - (298.75KB , 1002x700 , BB 799.jpg )

Happy: What a peaceful and quiet location this is. No screaming nor death to be seen, somebody once described being here. They described it as being in a trance, like leaving your reality widout moving a single set. The experience is like being in a pleasant dream, sweet, short and when you wake up you wish to capture it once again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e1zT7miep8&ab_channel=LianaFlores-Topic

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/06(Sun)05:49 No. 136954 ID: 8b82ee
File 164415537050.jpg - (321.58KB , 733x862 , BB 800.jpg )

Happy: So might as well enjoy my stay for hover short it is, observe how others are forming connections widout really interfering with anybody.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlmbMX8C_H4&ab_channel=ImRuscelOfficial-Topic

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/06(Sun)05:52 No. 136955 ID: 8b82ee
File 164415555971.jpg - (362.04KB , 733x1019 , BB 801.jpg )

Happy: After all everyone here is a stranger. Forming a connection with somebody who you know nothing about is not a proper move to make.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdbrYE-H_5E&ab_channel=ImRuscelOfficial-Topic

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/06(Sun)05:54 No. 136956 ID: 8b82ee
File 164415566089.jpg - (100.19KB , 429x486 , BB 802.jpg )

Happy: Oh and there is some guy with sunglasses sucking a cigarette, he seems like somebody who rather be somewhere else and not here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxFtrXwj5jA&ab_channel=ImRuscelOfficial-Topic

tippler 2022/02/06(Sun)07:51 No. 136957 ID: eedbeb
File 164416270763.png - (237.24KB , 500x500 , a1.png )

The amount of pink on the walls and furniture is giving Uzak a headache. When she saw the ad for the event online, she'd focused on the 'free pizza' portion and ignored the babble about romance.

Luckily she's here early and there aren't many other people around. A stringy guy is guarding the pizza, surrounded by a cloud smoke. He looks up with a misplaced sense of hope on his features when Uzak clears her throat.

"I'd like some pizza." she says gruffly.

"Oh, yes of course." The guy hands her a generous slice. Are those pepperoni hearts? Yuck. Uzak stays close to the pizza table while she eats, in case other people try to capitalize on the free food.

The Romantic Storyteller 2022/02/07(Mon)15:23 No. 136961 ID: 629f2e
File 164427621580.png - (265.70KB , 1000x1000 , RF-1.png )

Your name is Enid Anderson, and at the moment you’re in a Dream.

You know it’s a dream, because too many things don’t make sense if it isn’t. Like how it’s Valentine’s Day, but it wasn’t February when you went to bed. Oh yeah, and the last thing you remember is going to bed! If you remembered coming here, that would make things harder to tell.

Well actually, you do remember following the path up the stairs and into this building that didn’t have any walls. That didn’t explain how you got on the path though! Plus, where even is this? You may not have seen all of Cattenom yet, but you’re pretty sure there isn’t an area with a pink sky, pink hills, pink grass… Yeah, there’s no place on Earth that looks like this.

The people here all gave it away too. One man was sitting at a table, looking totally out of place with reality. Their body was Black And White, and they just looked too funny to be real. It was hard to even tell if they were supposed to be a funny looking human, or something completely different. Then there was the big Monster Girl eating pizza. Monsters aren’t real, this has to be a dream!

That’s okay though, because it was a dream with Pizza! That meant it was a good one, nightmares never had such good smelling food.

The Romantic Storyteller 2022/02/07(Mon)15:24 No. 136962 ID: 629f2e
File 164427624513.png - (308.60KB , 1000x1000 , RF-2.png )

Awwwww, it’s cut into the shape of a heart too! That’s really cute, whoever made this did a great job. Even the pepperonis are heart shaped.

There’s a man smoking beside the table, who you notice looks pretty normal. His hat says and has a pizza slice on it, so maybe he’s the chef? He has the reddest hair you’ve ever seen, a cigarette, and sunglasses. Was he trying to look like a bad boy? Some of the girls in your comics like that style, so it probably isn’t a bad way to get a date.

Honestly, you think he’s Cute! It’s a real shame that he’s an adult. You’re only Nine, so you can’t ask him to be your valentine. Even if this is a dream, it’s too lucid! You feel weird just imagining it, definitely not happening.

Nothing wrong with asking for some of that pizza though. You tap him on the leg to get his attention.

Enid: “Excuse me, Mister.”

He turns and looks down at you, starting to question you on your age. Mid-sentence he stops, reconsidering his words. Quietly you hear him mumble to himself, questioning whether she actually was a child or not, and if he’d get into a SITUATION for asking.

Enid: “...Um, sir? It’s pretty obvious I’m a kid, you don’t have to wonder.”

He lets out a sigh of relief. You really didn’t think it was that confusing, but he explains that he deals with weirdos of all shapes and sizes. He can never assume, even when they seem human like him.

He then asks why we’re here, questioning if kids your age are even interested in romance or whatever.

Enid: “I’m not sure. I don’t really know all that many kids… But I think it’s interesting in my Comics at least.”
Enid: “Archie and Betty are the winning couple! Though… Sometimes I think he deserves to be with Veronica more.’

The pizza dude shrugs, showing a lack of interest.

Enid: “...Um, could you cut me off a piece of pizza? I’ve never had it come unsliced, and I’m not supposed to use knives.”

With a sigh, he grabs a pizza cutter and makes a few odd looking cuts. You’re about to question what he was doing, when he hands you a Heart-Shaped Slice.

Enid: “Wow! You’re really good with that.”
Enid: “How did you make it a heart but keep the crust to the butt end?”

He shrugs.

However he did it, it looked great. You thank the man and hug his leg, to which he seems indifferent. Even if you hadn’t ruled it out, that was a pretty clear sign that you’d have to find your own valentine elsewhere. Preferably one closer to your Age.

You pick a table close to the entrance staircase to sit at, nibbling at your pizza to savor it. With your position, you’d be able to see everyone who shows up. That would let you scope out anybody cool to talk to, which seemed like a nice way to enjoy your dream.

Not that you’d complain if you spent it all eating pizza. Seriously, this stuff was really good!

Gnoll 2022/02/08(Tue)17:34 No. 136963 ID: ca2950
File 164437049158.png - (197.36KB , 892x1038 , meatpie.png )

Keimi: "Does this thing still have free booze? Because I am not going to pass up a chance to get wasted for free. Unless they made it bland and unfun when they got all corporate."

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/09(Wed)16:22 No. 136973 ID: 8b82ee
File 164445254524.jpg - (265.63KB , 811x652 , BB 806.jpg )

Happy: I know how to kill almost everyone in this place, all that I would have to do is put a slow-acting poison in the pizza which I would offer for free, and simply watch as they all die one by one puking blood and drowning in it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1x_UKH_bQg&ab_channel=LianaFlores-Topic

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/09(Wed)16:24 No. 136974 ID: 8b82ee
File 164445269874.jpg - (235.95KB , 1160x813 , BB 807.jpg )

Happy: I am truly fascinated with tier reactions, what it is about the free food that makes them so much willing to engage and take pizza from a complete strange? Is it gluttony, or are they poor so that they can't afford food in their own world, or is this just the conditioning by the rituals common in their worlds? If there is one universal rule it is that nothing comes for free, so why should anybody take anything for granted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RErdSr0iAcs&ab_channel=thelastpeanut

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/09(Wed)16:27 No. 136975 ID: 8b82ee
File 164445283769.jpg - (380.50KB , 983x896 , BB 808.jpg )

Happy: Wait one moment, is that pizza guy smoking a cigarette in front of a little girl. Is he aware that cigarettes are dangerous especially to kids?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Lb6iBef3k&ab_channel=Zekson

Radio 2022/02/10(Thu)09:59 No. 136978 ID: a70a13
File 164451599191.jpg - (350.35KB , 900x900 , Vinegar Panel.jpg )

Vinegar has finally finished setting up her mini bar on the other side of the...room? Yeah let's go with that.

Honestly she willingly chose not to let Prima Materia sponsor this event because getting involved in corporate shenanigans is fundamentally against her belief system, but also a bitch has to make money so she's here to peddle her wares!

Letting her eye cross the collection of folks here, it seems there's a whole menagerie of types. From some wannabee cool guy to some big old furry chonguses...chongi?

Also there's a kid and what appears to be a surrealist cosplayer. Nice.

"Come get your booze on!" She calls out. "Alchemized to perfection, locally owned! Screw capitalism, but still give money to small business because we are D R O W N I N G."

tippler 2022/02/10(Thu)10:03 No. 136980 ID: eedbeb
File 164451620071.png - (266.28KB , 500x500 , a7.png )

Uzak is vaguely unsettled when a literal child enters the fray. She didn't see a sex room when she came in, so maybe this romance festival thing is really just about the romance.

She finishes her pizza and crosses her arms to glare at the other newcomer, a short dog. Uzak can't judge her age but from the way she's talking about booze, Uzak assumes she's an adult. Uzak doesn't do well when drunk, but some weed would only enhance the pizza.

"You wanna smoke a joint with me? Since they just set up a bar you can get cross faded." Uzak suggests.

Edmango 2022/02/10(Thu)12:12 No. 136982 ID: afe7de
File 164452395048.png - (10.92KB , 500x500 , Romance2022_001.png )

You flick your lighter once, twice, a third time, and it ignites. You bring it to the end of your spliff, tightly packed and pucker your lips inhaling a few times to get the edge lit just right. This might be THE BEST spliff you’ve ever made. You recently purchased a small supply of a strain called MAGICAL HERB, but most of the stuff is already magical or infused with ENERGY. You take a deep inhale, wait a moment, then another moment, then let out a deep deep exhale. The smoke suffuses around you and you can feel yourself lightheaded. You look around, only to notice that you’re actually no longer in your room.

Kazu: Damn, did I get so high I left the dimension.
Kazu: Niiiiiice.

Your name is Kazu and you have the habit of talking relentlessly at people unless they stop you. Your SISTER calls it a curse, you call it a QUIRK. So you smoke to CALM DOWN a bit. After looking around you see that there’s a ROMANCE FESTIVAL going on, and also see that it’s sponsored by that site that Gena works for. Oh shit is Gena here, maybe you can take her out on a date!

You look across the room and notice a few people scattered about, and some Pizza. You head over but then notice a feline conversing with a small person, she looks… strangely familiar. Extremely strangely familiar. Like, if you were genderbent in a dream familiar.

Kazu: Damn this is some good shit, YO ANYONE WANT SOME WEED?

You request a slice of Pizza while you wait for anyone to approach you.

Edmango 2022/02/10(Thu)12:23 No. 136983 ID: afe7de
File 164452460286.png - (11.84KB , 500x500 , Romance2022_002.png )

Your name is Ka Xu and you’re so tired, and recently ate some WEED, hanging in bed with your friends. You’ve been awake for a few days, panicking and worried about the ABOMINATIONS, but now you can relax. A dream filled slumber consumes you and you wake, but not in the bed with Cob, Zan, and An, but in a weird pink room. You look around and everyone’s strangely made of paper? But more fleshy?

Ka Xu: What was in that WEED?
Ka Xu: Why do those two…. Cats? Look like me?
Ka Xu: Why is everyone so tall
Ka Xu: Oh look someone my height!

You head over to the small girl in a pink shirt and greet her

Ka Xu: Hey there! What a weird dream right!
Ka Xu: Why are you made of paper?

The Romantic Storyteller 2022/02/10(Thu)22:32 No. 136988 ID: 629f2e
File 164456114462.png - (197.87KB , 1000x1000 , RF-3.png )

Enid: “Paper? Are you talking about my dress? I think this is cotton actually?”
Cat Kid: “Not that, I mean your body. That stuff’s paper, isn’t it?”
Enid: “...No, it’s Skin. I’m made of the same stuff as everyone else. Skin, hair, blood, and bones.”
Enid: “Are you not…?”

You reach out a hand and feel his arm. It was cottony and plush. Between the size, the fact he was talking, and the situation, you hadn’t realized what he was until right now.

Enid: “You’re a Plushie!”
Cat Kid: “Do you mean Stuffie-”

You wrap your arms around him in a nice soft hug. His body was so Soft and Cozy. It was like hugging a cute body-sized pillow. Do they make those? You definitely want one if they do, this feels so good.

In your mind, you imagined that he’d wrap his arms around you, returning the hug. Instead, he goes limp in your arms, stuttering up a storm.

Cat Kid: “Y-Y-Y-Y-You can’t just- and in public! I-I-I didn’t agree- could you please let go!?”

Oh! That’s right, even if he’s a plush, you didn’t know this kid. You can’t just hug people you’ve never met, that’s so rude.

Enid: “S-Sorry! I was too excited, I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
Cat Kid: “It’s… Um, just please don’t do that again.”
Cat Kid: “I’m not- I don’t just hug any stuffie I meet.”
Cat Kid: “If my friend Cob was here, she would probably be fine with it. She’s very Open about that stuff.”
Enid: “Okay. I’ll be sure to offer her one if we meet then.”
Cat Kid: “...Your hugs were warm like hers are too.”
Enid: “Huh?”
Cat Kid: “Nevermind, don’t worry about it! I’m Ka Xu.”
Enid: “It’s nice to meet you. My name is Enid. I thought I was the only kid here before you and that other girl showed up.”
Ka Xu: “Kid? Wait, how old are you?”
Enid: “Why is everyone here having trouble telling my age? I’m nine years-old.”
Ka Xu: “Only nine, really?”

He takes a glance around the room again, before his eyes land back on you. He nods slowly.

Ka Xu: “Huh. I guess I’m just short here if I’m barely taller than a kid.”
Enid: “Wait, I thought you were a kid too. How old are you?”
Ka Xu: “Twenty-two.”
Enid: “Huh. I can’t tell at all, though I guess that’s pretty normal, I can’t usually tell how old my toys are just by looking, so I guess that’s normal actually?”
Ka Xu: “I’m not a toy.”
Enid: “Well, it’s just that a lot of my toys at home are… were stuffed animals like you. Smaller though, and they didn’t move around or talk.”
Ka Xu: “That’s a scary thought.”
Enid: “No no, it’s really cute!”
Ka Xu: “Yeah, but imagine if I pulled out a toy that was a small whatever you are?”
Enid: “...Like an action figure?”
Ka Xu: “Covered in skin.”
Enid: “Okay yeah that’s gross.”
Enid: “Oh! I just realized, should I be calling you Mr. Ka Xu, or Sir?”
Ka Xu: “Don’t worry about it, you’re almost an adult anyways, just Ka Xu is fine.”
Enid: “...Still only nine, but I guess I’m halfway there?”

The Romantic Storyteller 2022/02/10(Thu)22:32 No. 136989 ID: 629f2e
File 164456117684.png - (284.70KB , 1000x1000 , RF-4.png )

Enid: “Um, hey, you just got here, right? Can I get you some pizza? The man over there says it’s free, and he’s cutting it up into these cool heart-shaped pieces.”
Ka Xu: “Ooh, I’ve never had it before, but I was hearing rumors about a Cookie Pizza recently that sounded delicious!’

The pizza guy sneezes.

Enid: “Cookie pizza? That sounds delicious! This is just the regular kind though, with cheese and sauce.”
Ka Xu: “I don’t know what cheese is, but if you say it’s good…”
Enid: “It’s like treated milk I think.”
Ka Xu: “Milk?”
Enid: “The stuff you get from cows.”
Ka Xu: “I knew a cow once, but she never told me about milk.”
Enid: “How would a cow- Oh, you mean a stuffed one like you. Yeah, I guess they wouldn’t make milk, since Liquids and Fabric don’t mix well.”
Enid: “Wait, can you eat and drink?”
Ka Xu: “Of course I can.”
Enid: “But… where does it go? Aren’t you filled with stuffing?”
Ka Xu: “Right, so it goes into my stuffing.”
Enid: “...”
Enid: “...Okay.”

You listen to Ka Xu explain stuffie biology for a bit while imagining you hugging him. Your brain was such a tease, putting you next to a big stuffed animal you weren’t allowed to hug. Such a mean dream…

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/13(Sun)14:41 No. 136994 ID: 8b82ee
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Happy: Wow you look like you could easily blend in the background of this world, like a chameleon, and slit someone's throat. Sorry when I enter a new place I just think about how to kill everyone in it or how everyone in it can kill me. And since the only love that is shared here is towards substance and food, might as well indulge in it as well. Give me the strongest drink that you have and I must warn you I've been drinking poison to build up immunity as a hobby so give me your best shot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtuAOT_c2EA&ab_channel=Tanuki.Sensei

tippler 2022/02/14(Mon)09:21 No. 136998 ID: eedbeb
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The small dog snorts with disgust at Uzak's proposal. "I don't go around accepting mystery drugs from strangers. I'm here for some good, trustworthy ethanol."

"Was just asking man." Uzak mutters. She shrugs and finds a corner far from the literal child hugging a large stuffed cat to smoke.

tippler 2022/02/14(Mon)09:26 No. 136999 ID: eedbeb
File 164485961994.png - (185.29KB , 500x500 , a11b.png )

To Uzak's surprise, she's quickly joined by another cat. There's something strangely familiar about him. Aside from the giant eyebrows, he kind of looks like Ahpin.

Heeding the dog's warning of alien weed, Uzak politely refuses the offered spliff and nurses her own blunt. She coughs a couple times but doesn't try to start a conversation.

Gnoll 2022/02/15(Tue)04:10 No. 137002 ID: ca2950
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Keimi turns her attention away from the stoner and back to the injustice occurring at the liquor kiosk.

Keimi: "You know, by engaging in the exploitative practices you claim to despise, you contribute to the corporate gestalt of pragmatic apathy that perpetuates the system of pursuing ever increasing profit margins in lieu of societal advancement.

Therefore, you should let me drink for free."

Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/02/15(Tue)22:05 No. 137003 ID: e51896
File 164499151149.png - (78.93KB , 1280x720 , RF2022_0002.png )

After Jerry received the request for a pizza, he tells the customer to give him a moment. As the customer wanders off to talk to someone in the corner, Jerry takes some time to clean the snot off his nose, and then like clockwork instinctively goes through the motions of cutting the pizza into a heart shape. After he gets that done, he calls the customer back over to hand it off.

However, when he turns to hand over the pizza, he quickly pulls it away out of reach and takes a hard look to analyze the guest. He recognizes this cat. Didn’t he already serve this one as his first customer? Although the clothing is different, Jerry recognizes the pointy fluffy cheeks, the big cat ears, the similar hairstyle, signs of being baked in his eyes… Yeah, no doubt about it, this guy is trying to trick Jerry into giving him another free pizza with his disguise. Jerry tells the customer that is only allowing one pizza per guest during this festival, and if he wants more, he should contact the pizzeria at Crust City in Jerry's world to request expanding their chain to their world or something by giving him the coordinates to their universe.
Kazu is confused by this

Kazu: Eh? What are you talking about, dude? this is like, my first time here? You can’t, like, take that Za away from me maaan, so uncool. You should know that I’ve got a disease known as the munchies. And the only prescription is some ZA! And before you say I shouldn’t self-diagnose myself; I’ll have you know that I’m a doctor… Well okay, technically I’m still in training, but I should have enough experience from my internship to know that the weed I took has made me contract that symptom which can only be sated with some sweet, sweet za. In fact, during my internship, Dr. Trey once told me that the cravings weed causes are blah blah blah blah

Jerry has been trying to get a word in, but there is just no pause in this one-sided conversation to jump in to catch his attention. So, Jerry figures, fuck it, he’ll just interrupt him and say what he wants to say, telling him that he can’t give more than one pizza to the guests as otherwise, he’d have to keep going back and forth to more pizza at the grill to supply to the other guests. Plus, he has been in enough SITUATIONS with Gene the pizza rat, and his stupid costumes to know Kazu is wearing a costume. He’s not even wearing a good disguise even.

Kazu didn’t seem to catch any of what Jerry just said as he's still running his mouth about cravings caused by weed and somehow jumped into a completely different topic about agriculture? but his ears perked up and he stops suddenly when he heard mention of the name “Gene”

Kazu: Wait man, hold up,

Kazu puts his hand on Jerry’s arm, trying to buddy up to him, forgetting his frustration about not getting some free pizza.

Kazu: you know Gena and the adorable outfits that kin wears? I love all those costumes Gena dresses up in for cosplays! Especially the cosplay of Rake from the one Wanomay PLANTIMALS: WEED OUT THE WEAK™ which is currently in their second season by the way… But that Rake cosplay makes Gena look so much like Rake that when I first saw Gena wear it, I had to do a double-take because I thought Rake somehow got isekai’d from Plantimals and into our little town, hahaha! Man, I was so high at that time, and I was so easily fooled by Gena. But that is besides the point, I knew Gena was around here somewhere after I found out OnlyFaunus was a sponsor at this event! Come on, man, spill the deets, where is that mouse? I was hoping to ask Gena out at this festival!

Wait, is this guy is seriously simping over Eugene of all people? Who would fall for an asshole like him? Ah, it makes sense now, this guy must be a friend of Eugene and is one of those FANATICS from the BACON APARTMENTS, and is trying to win Eugene’s heart to get more pizza or something. Jerry says he really really hopes Gene isn’t here, and that those costumes are in fact stupid, always using them to steal his pizza. Kazu just laughs.

Kazu: Maaan, that’s Gena for you. But dude, there's no need to be so harsh on the cosplay, even you have to admit they are creative, ya know? In fact, there’s a saying that goes “clothes make the kin” and studies show that blah blah blah

This guy is more annoying than Gerbera Jerry thinks to himself. He needs to figure out a way to dip out of the conversation before he gets a headache.
JERRY IS NOW IN A SITUATION

Poltergeist Ethanoic Acid 2022/02/15(Tue)22:05 No. 137004 ID: e51896
File 164499152853.png - (73.38KB , 1280x720 , RF2022_0003.png )

Jerry gets an idea, he pulls out his smart phone, and sets an alarm. After one minute has passed, the alarm goes off, and Jerry tells Kazu he has to get to the grill to pull out more pizza. Kazu didn’t seem to catch any of that as he is still talking Jerry’s ear off, so Jerry just shrugs and walks off.

BAM!!

Jerry immediately accidentally walks into the wooden support pole in the middle of the Picnic shelter that has totally been there that whole time.

Message from PEA: There is no need to check if that pole was in the middle of the picnic shelter or not in the previous threads. I checked for you all, it totally was there.

Jerry can hear the laughter from the cat, and a similar yet higher pitched sounding laugh from the distance, and a single “heh” from another similar yet female sounding person, although maybe it was a cough instead of a laugh?.

Jerry then falls to the ground, dizzy from the experience

Kazu: HAHAHA! Maaan, This is the funniest shit I've ever seen! You really gotta look where your going. Uh, hey, you don’t look so good, looks like you got hit pretty hard there. As a doctor in training, I recommend you don't get up and rest there for awhile. I'll keep an eye on you. Aaaaaaaanyway, as I was saying, fabric softener is good against static because blah blah blah blah.

Jerry has failed to get out of the SITUATION and it has turned into a PROBLEM,

Gnoll 2022/02/16(Wed)04:45 No. 137005 ID: ca2950
File 164501555629.png - (235.11KB , 1024x1024 , castingcall.png )

A new stall is set up at some point in the very real and persistent three dimensional space of the festival.

Lizzy: "Come on down and stick your junk in some goo to receive a lifelike reproduction of whatever part you stuck in! Humble brag about the size. Give it as a joke gift. Go fuck yourself! It's none of my business what you do with it, but it is my business to get you to buy it in the first place! Our off-screen team of genital artisans are standing by! Order now!"

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/16(Wed)11:08 No. 137006 ID: 8b82ee
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Happy: What's with this sassy...lost child?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFujPyUFepc&ab_channel=TobiasDray-Topic

Gnoll 2022/02/16(Wed)18:09 No. 137007 ID: ca2950
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Keimi: "You disgust me. Leave."

Lizzy:"You guys did that backwards."

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/17(Thu)00:16 No. 137009 ID: 8b82ee
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Happy: Leave...but I came here for a drink first...

Radio 2022/02/17(Thu)07:27 No. 137010 ID: a70a13
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Vinegar turns her attention to her first customer, who appears to be severely lacking in skin tone, which is mildly concerning. The words that exit his mouth are also somewhat off putting but it's not like she hasn't been serving wannabee anarchists for years now. At least he seems nice?

"Yeah, no worries man we'll get you set up!" She chirps, getting to work on mixing up the strongest brew she can muster at the moment. It's only when some furry comes flouncing up to her and demanding free alcohol that her eye goes from peppy to pissed.

Luckily, Vinegar has the exact thing for this! Reaching under the bar, the cyclops pulls out a spray bottle and proceeds to reinforce this person's bad behavior, while slipping the glass of potent booze to the mask dude who speaks in links.

"NO. BAD PATRON, BAD. No using toxic and misrepresented outlooks on the flaws of capitalism to benefit yourself while small business suffer, punish the bourgeoise not the laborers, NO!" And yes, Vinegar gives her a couple squeezes of water, it works like a charm.

Turning to mask dude, she smiles sweetly again. "Thank you for your patience and kindness, drink is on the house for ya hun!"

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/18(Fri)16:02 No. 137019 ID: 8b82ee
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Happy: I really don't know what to say. This is the only act of kindness kindest that anybody has ever shown to me and I know it sounds disingenuous with this fake smile on my face but I really mean it. I have to apologize for purposely acting so creepy, I just tend to see the worst in other people and those thoughts simply outside my mouth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSjnJXBKpoY&ab_channel=littlenatnatz101

The Romantic Storyteller 2022/02/18(Fri)22:27 No. 137021 ID: 629f2e
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Fittingly, Ka Xu’s biology lecture ended up getting interrupted by biology. A Rabbit Lady with really pretty purple hair catches both of your attention when she announces her stall is open. You both eye the wares on her table curiously.

Ka Xu: “What’s that fur-kin selling? Are those supposed to be, like… Prosthetic Limbs?”
Ka Xu: “They seem kind of small for that, don’t you think?”
Enid: “Don’t be such a silly stuffie. Those are Penises.”

You think that’s what they are at least. A lot of them look nothing like boy parts, but a couple look just like the ones you’ve seen in the Biology books dad keeps in the attic, or those pictures of dad you found while looking through mom’s old stuff and then Burned in the fireplace.

…Neat! Thanks for bringing that to the front of your brain, weird Valentine’s dream. Maybe this is just a nightmare that’s really good at pretending it isn’t one…?

Ka Xu: “...What are you talking about? What’s a penis?”
Enid: “What’s a- Wait, aren’t you a Boy plush?”
Enid: “Well actually… I guess plushies don’t have those. Baby dolls do, but not plush toys.”
Ka Xu: “Yeah, I haven’t met a stuffie with anything like that. Er… Maybe something like that though.”

He points at a green tentacle looking thing on the table. You wonder if it’s supposed to be what some other weird species’ boys have down there, or something else entirely.

Ka Xu: “She wasn’t nice though. Kind of an evil cultist.”
Enid: “...Wait, but stuffies are alive. Doesn’t that mean you should have one anyways?”
Ka Xu: “What would I need it for? They just look like small, weirdly shaped legs.”
Ka Xu: “That grey and pink one would actually be the perfect height for me though... Ugh, nuh-uh, just thinking about attaching one of those to me is bringing up some really bad Recent Memories.”
Enid: “Well how do stuffies make baby dolls? Or Pee?”
Ka Xu: “Stuffies don’t pee. At least, I don’t think we do? What’s peeing?”
Enid: “It’s like… taking a dump, but for liquid. What happens to liquid when you drink it?”
Ka Xu: “Uh, we Absorb it into our bodies. Isn’t that why you drink?”
Enid: “No no, I mean like… Like what happens when you have too much?”
Ka Xu: “...Diarrhea? Or Vomiting if it’s really bad.”
Enid: “Ewwww! That’s gross!”
Ka Xu: “You’re the one who asked.”

-Urp! You need to get off the potty talk, or else that pizza was going to come right back up.

Enid: “Okay okay. Um, what about making baby dolls then?”
Ka Xu: “You Sew up a baby doll, how would a third leg without any fingers help with that?”
Enid: “I… don’t know. I don’t even know how it’s supposed to help make Human babies, but when I asked Saihu about it he started saying something about boy parts and girl parts.”
Enid: “Then he got really embarrassed and stopped talking.”
Enid: “Hmm… Maybe Albert knows? He’s really smart, I have to ask him next time I see him.”
Ka Xu: “I could always consult the Shaman about it. She’s very knowledgeable about things I don’t know anything about.”

[It thankfully occurs to neither of them to ask the rabbit selling the faux genitalia for more information.]

The Romantic Storyteller 2022/02/18(Fri)22:28 No. 137022 ID: 629f2e
File 164525211803.png - (25.05KB , 500x500 , Romance2022_003.png )

Enid: “Oh yeah, I promised you pizza, didn’t I? Let me get you a slice.”

You walk up to the pizza man, who is having a very active conversation with another cat (who looks oddly Familiar for some reason). Well, the cat guy was saying a lot at least. Mr. Pizza Guy was just standing there, seeming bored and uninterested. You tug on his sleeve and request a slice to bring to Ka Xu. He says something about each guest only getting One slice, but cuts another for you anyways. That’s nice, it means he trusts you not to steal your plush friends pizza.

Ka Xu gives the heart-shaped delicacy a weird look when you return with it, examining it closely.

Ka Xu: “What… is this?”
Enid: “It’s Pizza! See, there’s bread, and cheese, and meat, and sauce. It comes from Italy.”
Enid: “Well, the original recipe does. This pie actually came from some place called .”
Ka Xu: “There’s meat on this? But none of it looks like paper.”
Enid: “Uh, it’s these red bits on top. They’re Pepperonis.”
Ka Xu: “Wow, what kind of Paperling did these come from? I’ve never seen any with this color or texture before.”
Enid: “...Uh, they came from a pig… What’s a Paperling?”

His face goes pale, as he turns to you with a look of pure horror.

Ka Xu: “A… A Pig? This meat is from… a pig?”
Enid: “Well, yeah. It’s pork, right? Tasty tasty pork~!”

He lets out a shrill scream, nearly falling over a table as he backs up in terror.

Ka Xu: “I know pigs! You can’t just- you would eat Señor Hams!? That’s terrible! He has a family!”
Enid: “Wh- Oh! It’s not like that! It’s fine to eat them because pigs can’t talk or feel-”
Ka Xu: “Take that back! He wasn’t afraid to show his emotions, he was just Strong enough to hide them for the sake of those he swore to protect.”
Enid: “Listen! The pigs from where I’m from are just delicious bags of meat that people farm and make into tasty meals.”
Enid: “Like a good pot pie, or pork chops, or sausage, and more!”
Enid: “Also, if Senior Hams is a stuffed animal, then we definitely wouldn’t eat him. He’d just have fluff on the inside, and that isn’t food.”

Your more thorough explanation calms him down, at least to the point where he wasn’t shouting. He still seems skeptical about the pizza though.

Ka Xu: “That thing is dripping. Why is it wet?”
Enid: “It’s Grease. That’s how you know it’s good, the greasier the better. Can you not eat that?”
Ka Xu: “I haven’t tried it, but I have a feeling it would make me sick.”
Enid: “Well, I guess we could dab that off if you really can’t…”

Each ingredient goes through questioning, and by the time you both finish, you’re scraping off all but the bread and sauce. Not that you were complaining about getting extra cheese and pepperonis, but he wasn’t going to get the full pizza experience like this! If he just wanted sauce and bread, he should have gotten breadsticks.

Oh well, he seems happy when you finally hand it over, munching down on the dish with a more relaxed expression. As long as he’s eating something he Likes, that’s what really matters, right?

You happily join him, slurping up all the leftover cheese and popping pepperonis in your mouth. He still gives you weird looks for each of those.

Enid: “I promise, I wouldn’t eat this if it came from something that could talk and live a life as cool as Senior Hams’.”
Ka Xu: “I know, I know, but it’s just still weird.”
Enid: “Yeah, a little… But it’s also Delicious, sooooooo.”

Gnoll 2022/02/19(Sat)15:42 No. 137025 ID: ca2950
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Lizzy: "Okay, kids. Move along. People are here for romance, not to have to deal with or be reminded of the squalid, shrieking consequences of romance. Come back when you're ten years older or can produce a passable fake ID, until then, bugger off."

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/19(Sat)16:04 No. 137026 ID: 8b82ee
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Punk Doctor: I have to say there are some impressive specimens but even if they look fun they are a bit lacking when it comes to their utility. Like licking neutral ice cream, to me, they seem flavorless or lacking. I am looking for something truly outstanding.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqFLXayD6e8&ab_channel=ShaniaTwainVEVO

Absurdity DeVoid 2022/02/19(Sat)16:05 No. 137027 ID: 8b82ee
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Punk Doctor: I had more fun experimenting with other things that were never mentioned to be dildos in the first place. Like a plunger, corkscrew, jackhammers, Christmas ornaments, and other office equipment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXRL-Gx6FHU&ab_channel=GovernmentMan123

Gnoll 2022/02/21(Mon)22:59 No. 137062 ID: ca2950
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Alex clasps his hand on top of Keimi's head.

Alex: "Hey, Kei. Fighting with the aliens again?"
Keimi: "One is just insulting me and the other doesn't understand the sociological and economic factors that prevent communistic practices on a large scale without implementing authoritarian measure to enforce said measures which have universally led to dictatorial oligarchy, famine and genocide."
Alex: "Damn, heavy stuff. Anyway, I got you a souvenir. Catch."

Keimi reflexively grabs the wiggly, rubbery object flying toward her.

Keimi: "W-What the heck is this?"
Alex: "The short alien with the big... ears is making castings of people's junk. Pretty funny, right?"
Keimi: "Don't give me stuff like this!"
Alex: "Just throw it away if you don't want it. No big deal."
Keimi: "Haha... Well, if it's just a joke, I guess I can keep it, because it's f-funny, right? Haha... heh..."

Skalda 2022/03/13(Sun)20:31 No. 137242 ID: c92a02
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Forged invitation - check.
Seating arrangements - check.
The cunning instincts of a hunter - Double check.
Oh yeah. It's all coming together. Soon, that honey will bee all mine!

Skalda 2022/03/13(Sun)20:32 No. 137243 ID: c92a02
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"I'm so glad Gerbera invited me to to the festival today! I hope I didn't arrive too late... Did they leave already? Oh, nevermind, there's a seat reserved for me still! How lucky! I'll just wait there..."

Skalda 2022/03/13(Sun)20:32 No. 137244 ID: c92a02
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Suddenly, a mighty dragon jumps Snowpea from behind. "Ha! Fooled you, stupid bug! Now you have to go on a date with me!" She pulls a bouquet of flowers from behind her back and shoves them in Snowpea's face.
"Oh no, not you again..."