First question, what are the thoughts about the quest so far?

Be honest, don't suger coat. I need genuine feedback if I'm to improve.

If you like it, tell me specifically what parts you find enjoyable. If not, please tell me what you dislike so I may rectify.

>>127521
I find the details about firearms quite entertaining as somewhat of a gun geek myself, but all options she has are kinda shit, its either a full on combat pistol (far too big for a 12yo, and too big for to conceal for a 12 yo) or some short barreled rifle (those kinds of rifles are still way too massive for concealed carry, are loud af due to the gasses not being able to expand enough and because of the barrel length the projectiles are much slower than out of a normal barrel, also the vss vintorez has specialized ammo which only the russian police can get, nobody else. If she wants compact, easy to hide weapons, she'd be better off using some small, .32 acp pistol, since those are small, probably easy to suppress and good enough, since you wont be fighting against people with body armour, that is if she wants a small, silent and concealable firearm (btw the m82 rifle is big enough for an adult,let alone a toddler like her)

>>127536
I agree that the options put forward were kinda shit, but that's mostly because she doesn't have great resources at the moment, and the option for the AKS-74U was in part because she had a lot of the parts for it already. Though I must admit I'm a bit disappointed in myself for the gun selection as a whole. In the future, there will be superior selections.

The option for the FN TAC-45 was because that is Borya's favorite handgun. She would jump at any opportunity to get one, and so it is perpetually on her radar for production.

I also like your idea for the small-cal pistol. I'm a high-caliber man myself, so it didn't occur to me. But I'll probably incorporate this soon.

As well I would state, she could totally use an M82. I think I was eight when I first shot one? Maybe nine? The point being, you don't have to be physically impressive to shoot one. The are really heavy, but so long as you fire from prone, actually quite manageable. The recoil is, surprisingly enough, less than, say, a standard 308 hunting rifle. Those recoil mitigating springs are magical.

hows about a short-barrel rifle with a very large silencer? Kinda what the AR-10 idea was: a compact sniper rifle.


If we are going small, then I would suggest an FN five-seven along with an FN P90.

>>127545
Cheers mate. FN makes the best bloody guns I've seen. Except maybe Styer. And okay maybe Beret makes really great rifles. And I mean Kel-Tech has that shotgun that can chamber like 14-

Anyway, point is, a Five-seveN would be great. High penetration, high capacity magazine, great accuracy, low recoil. Only problem is the stopping power, which is somewhat lacking. I mean, we could just use hollowpoints, though.

And does stopping-power really matter when you shoot someone through the head?

>>127545
adding a huge silencer to an sbr platform kinda defeats the purpose of an sbr (that is, being short and compact) and for a silenced sniper rifle I don't see why an ar 15 cant do the job, generally it would be a smart idea to avoid pdw munitions, those were designed for penetrating bodyarmour with speed, not inertia by sheer mass, generally a smaller cartridges are preferred, since they're proboably cheap, easy to carry and good enough, we wont be fighting any SAS or Spetznas units anytime soon (hopefully one day tho)

>>127551
Also there's an alarming lack of ar-15's around, aren't those the best choice for a quick assault rifle, easy to make with modern technology, cheap (at least in US, where the quest is taking place) and millions of parts for almost anything, I'd even bet someone's selling springs for ejection covers in all colors of the rainbow.

And isn't the HK the king of quality when it comes to the ultimate firearms (yea they kinda lack balls when it comes to civilian firearms) and why is this dis-thread turning into a discussion about firearms?

>>127553
Because firearms are the ultimate state any mass can hope to achieve. They are perfection incarnate.

I totally forgot about H&K. I love those guns too, some of my favorite, but I forgot about them while thinking about all the other amazing guns.

New objective: acquire H&K 417 with marksman's barrel.

>>127551
>>127552
New new objective: acquire high-end stoner-type AR platform.

(Honestly, the lack of M-15 style rifles is just because of my forgetfulness. I can't keep all these bloody brilliant firearms straight.)

Gentlemen, it has come to my attention that we have a small issue.

It seems, with all the great firearms that exist, we are having trouble coming to a conclusive decision about which gun Borya should use.

I prepose a solution: we get all the guns.

All of them, just all of them.

This is obviously the only logical course of action.

It worked for America didn't it?

>>127555
Let's agree to disagree, it's about time we start thinking about stealing weapons of mass destruction, or founding a secret organization to produce all them nuclear weapons and biological weapons (maybe something like ebola virus that is more ebola virus-y, or just straight up make some damn T-virus and recreate the Racoon city incident)and acquire ways of blackmailing that stuff to every superpower on the planet

Y'll want to know something interesting? Originally, I never planned for Borya to actually escape the mansion.

After you guys got her out of the chair, I was gonna have her recaptured. Then the quest kinda started going it's own way, and the narrative plan underwent a massive shift.

Strange as it sounds, the decision to escape might be the most important made yet.

Oh yeah, and I'm having a little trouble deciding what happens next. I've got several ideas I like, so I'm implementing the patented Asa-brand Spoiler-free Blind poll! (Blind because you have no idea what you're choosing.)

Please choose one of the following letters.

A
S
F
G

Just pick the one you like best.

You may never know how important this decision is.

>>127780
F

G

A

>>127784
>>127786
>>127814
Oh y'all are just mighty bloody helpful aren't you.

>>127828
S

>>127780
B

Ž

Asa the wizard 2019/02/17(Sun)20:36 No. 127864 ID: ea5a64
File 155046457462.jpg - (13.08KB , 259x194 , image.jpg )

>>127851
>>127839
>>127843

Đ

Fine let me end this misery! A!

>>127877
Comrade, for services rendered to my story's plot, I bestow upon you one (1) solid. To be redeemed whenever you see fit.

It can be exchanged for:
—Proofreading services. (I'm a pretty good editor.)
—Writing services. (I'm an adequate scribe.)
—Firearm advice. (If it can chamber, cock, and spit a metallic projectile. I probably know more about than I should.)
—Any reasonable favor that can be conducted over the Internet.

I'm actually serious about this. This is how I do solids. I had a lot of trouble for a long time with the extremely loose concept of 'favors' that friends supposedly do for each other, so I designed a strict, clear method of keeping track of solids.

This is pertinent for all people I owe a solid to. When I say I owe someone a solid, I treat it like an actual genuine debt.

As in, I've actually got a written record of all the solids I owe.

So you know, anon 8f34ce, you just keep that solid in your back pocket till you need it.

>>127877
Oh yeah, FYI, A stands for Antithesis.

I dare you to try and figure out what that means.

>>127890
thanks a bunch, probably wont need anything but extremely obvious grammar advice, but nice to have it.
>>127891
so in therms of this quest, if applied to the Borya. that would be a not-murderous extremely unstable happy little toddler that wouldn't know an alarmingly large amount of information about items designed to kill in any condition one can found themselves in?

Is the complicated nature of the subject's title a revenge for making a ruckus in the voting stage?

>>127905
Not at all.

It's simply that my brain functions in a way rather different from you mere mortals.

The machinations of my mind are as mysterious and unknowable as the future is uncertain.

But to put it in terms that you don't need a major in psychology to understand, my mind is kind of like a... Ocean. A plethora of ideas swirling in a maelstrom of indecipherable conscience, and only when the odd idea makes it through this storm and onto shore, am I able to actually realize it.

Does that make sense?

Anyway, my point is; some seriously weird shit comes out of my brain. And almost all of the abbreviated names I give to drafts and written ideas fall unequivocally into the realm of weird.

For instance, my masterpiece, my magnum opus. A quest I will one day soon author on this website; it's file is simply labeled C.

And The Path of a Hero? Before I thought up that catchy name I simply had the draft labeled 'psychotic butterfly effect'. See where I'm going with this?

For the record, the choices you guys had were as follows:
A for Antithesis.
S for Superposition.
F for Facsimile.
G for Gemini.

>>127914
So these will either have something to do with the quest or just a topic of discussion in this discussion thread

>>127918
Are you asking or stating? To be on the safe side, I'm going to take that as a question.

The four choices actually have a rather large bearing on the plot. But it's a sort of subtle, long-term impact.

I'm actually rather curious wether readers will be able to see the change or not.

Some may have noticed that I have not updated TPOAH in a couple days (I like to believe that my quest's good enough for people to care), this is due to two factors.

Number one is Metro: exudes, which has taken my time, money, and soul.

Number two (and more salient to you, the reader) is the new project I'm working on. Surprise, it's another quest.

Once the first part of the SSQP (Super Secret Quest Project) is posted, the next installment of TPOAH should follow soon after.

>>127929
Speaking of metro exodus, whats your stance on the (idiotic) exclusivity deal for the epic store?

>>127937
Sorry my friend, but I can't give you a statement this time. As that's off topic.

I don't really mind off-topic discussion in my threads, not really. But some people might, and too much irrelevant discussion will bring down the wrath of the mods.

No harm done, it's just that I don't want to inadvertently start a flame war over marketing tactics.

can Borya die in this series of quests you're planning?

>>127961
Neither Borya or The Path of a Hero are directly relevant to any other quest I'm planning, yet.

But, within TPOAH, all characters are killable. I seriously mean everyone.

All it takes is one big fuck up, and the story will be a character short. It's totally possible to just get Borya killed and then the quest would end right there.

So ah, you know; try not to muck this up. I rather like Borya.

>>127971
Kinda hard to see that happen, anything that will cause a fuck up will be noticed by Borya, she appears very good at noticing those, you mean that just bad luck will be involved or someone will have to be very cunning to fool her

>>127979
So far, I've been maintaining a certain level of plot armor around Borya, but this is only temporary.

Think of it as... Training wheels. Throughout the first chapter, I used my author powers to keep her safe, and this 'plot armor' will continue to an extent into some of chapter two. But beyond that, you have to think of her as a human being that can easily be killed because of bad advice.

She trusts you guys, the voices in her head. She doesn't acknowledge it, but she relies on you.

Throughout the first chapter, I made her independent. She would disregard any advice that had a chance to get her killed. But from now on, she's going to heavily rely upon suggesters for both advice and council.

And it's not just bad suggestions that can get her killed, she can also lose her life because of suggesters inaction.

If you guys fail to make a decisive choice when it matters, she'll suffer for your indecision. And similarly, if you guys argue amongst yourselves, she'll become stressed, angry, and eventually suffer from mental damage.

The voices of the suggesters are manifestations of Borya's subconscious, so when an argument occurres, it's like her mind is fighting itself. Imagine the mental duress that would cause.

Or when no solid decision can be made, she will be plagued by inaction.

Does that clear things up? Tell me if I need to explain anything further.

>>127981
So we can potentially make her open up and negate some of borya's sociopathy by letting her know subconciously that it's ok to have feelings (like in the even when she broke down in the quest going on about how she doesn't understand why people help her)

>>127995
To an extent, yes. But you're going to have think hard about your actions and words. Often, decisions made by the suggesters are shaping Borya more than they ever realize.

And another thing; I don't believe in perfect, happy endings. Where everyone goes off to live in a castle, and the pretty princess gets married to the handsome prince, and even the bad guy learns the error of his ways.

Sometimes, the world is just fucked up. And sometimes people are just fucked up. And it's a hard but necessary lesson to learn that you can't save everyone.

Sometimes the best you can do is give a quick death.

Oh yes, and your point about the breakdown Borya had? It's a good one.

But there are some things you guys are gonna have to figure out yourselves, that's part of the signature Asa Grim-dark style. This entire quest is extremly philosophical, and it is up to the audience to interpret, and pass judgment upon the path Borya walks.

How "good" can the ending get, is the "character survives but almost everyone dies or is left extremely emotionally scarred" the best you'll allow for or are we can hope for a better conclusion

>>128010
There is no hard cap on how good or bad the end is, it seriously depends completely on where the suggesters take this.

I refuse to write a fake-ass Disney-style happily-ever-after kind of end, you know the the kind; where all the characters are so inexplicably blissful that it seems like they're all on drugs. Yes, I won't do that kind of end.

Like I said before, you can't save everyone. Death is the inevitable and necessitated parallel to life, trying to avoid it completely is like running from your shadow.

But, I am in no way opposed to a happy end. A realistically happy end. No magical carriages. Or weddings. So long as we avoid those two, the sky is the limit.

Like I said, it really all depends on where this story goes. I don't have any idea what the ending is going to look like.

>>128043
You mentioned in the beginning of the quest that you, like borya, have a case of psychopathy (or sociopathy, can't really tell the difference), how is it like? Is it like the (what I assume) borya's really exaggerated case where you can only think in a certain way (like ways to kill people in borya's case) or is it just a problematic condition that, while giving you immunity to stress (from what I know) and reduced ability to feel makes basic things like conversations and meaningful relationships between friends and loved ones quite difficult and reducing the quality of one's life?

>>128325
Sorry for asking such personal questions if such things bother you.

>>128325
>>128326
Hah! You definitely don't need to apologize. I love talking about myself. In fact, it may be my favorite subject.

So, psychopathy and sociopathy are rather different from each other. Kind of. See, psychopathy is a blanket term for all forms of mental illness or disorder. But sociopathy is something you're born with, so I don't really consider myself a psychopath. But you could call me one.

More pertinently to you questions, I'll give you a brief explanation of what sociopathy is, medically speaking.

It is a name for a disorder of the mind that prevents standerd human empathy. Resulting in low regard for human life, lack of an intrinsic moral compass, and a general lack of outwards emotion.

Normally, such a disorder is caused by a lack of neurotransmitters, resulting in overall anti-emotionality. A side effect of this anti-emotionality is sociopathy. This is what Borya has.

Another, and far less common form of sociopathy is where the part of the brain in charge of empathy (mirror neurons) is underdeveloped. Resulting in a lack of empathy. This is what I have.

It means that I, well, for the most part, have the same emotions that everyone else has, just not empathy. I feel happiness (okay I actually don't feel this one very often), sadness (Not really this one too much either), and anger (much anger). But like, If I saw someone mortally wounded and close to an agonizing death, I could care less. But if my pizza burns in the oven, then I feel something.

You see what I'm saying? I don't have the ability to empathize. Well, I do, but I can only feel like, 10% of the empathy most have.

So in short, I'm all fucked up because part of my brain didn't form like it should have. I actually have dyslexia too, which is also an under-formation of part of the brain. Funny right? A dyslexic incapable of feeling empathy goes off to write stories on a community-based format.

But don't think that because part of my brain is underdeveloped I'm unintelligent. They call it high-functioning sociopathy for a reason.

As for how it impacts social interaction? Not too much, any more.

When I was younger I had a lot of trouble. I also did some really fucked up things. I was responsible for the hospitalization of several children, and because of me; a kid I used to know walks with a limp to this day.

But nowadays, I have a strict moral code I follow at all times. It keeps me in line.

And as for like conversation and such, I'm actually really good at talking to people. I've been accused before of being a schmoozer. I just don't have much of a capacity to form relationships. I have no friends. I'm not close with my family. That sort of thing.

But I'm getting better, I think. Any day now a bunch of people will start vying for the friendship of that one weird guy that's always talking about how easy it is to break the human neck. Yep, prime friendship materiel.

>>128336
How does a sociopath, with dyslexia none the less, decide it's time to start writing some quests in such a questionable website, is it because you enjoy dark humor about the unfairness and evil of life or is there something about writing about broken characters with problems that you share to an extent in a way to express one self (not trying to be an annoying paparazzi kind, but I'm genuinely intrigued)

>>128352
I enjoy answering questions like these, so I really mean it when I say feel free to ask them.

Firstly, yes. I love dark humor. I also like writing characters like Borya. You were right on both counts. But that's not the main reason I started questing.

So, I found tgchan about six months ago when I clicked on a link in the comments section for a piece of fanart. This link led me to Story Seeker, which was the first quest I ever read.

After that, I went off and read Fen quest, then Asteroid Quest, then Tozol quest. After Tozol quest, I was struck with an epiphany.

An idea, far fetched and honestly ridiculous. I knew it probably wouldn't work, and if it did it would take a lot of effort. That's why I stuck with it.

An idea for an enormous, over-complex, brutally visceral quest about a person caught up in a conspiracy so large; it encompasses more than one genre.

Originally, quests like TPOAH and The Brothers Grim were just supposed to be warmups for this one. That's out the window now, as both quests have outgrown their intended scopes; but the point stands, I had this idea, an idea for the ultimate quest.

My magnum opus.

Some day, when I've finished the other projects, and gotten an artist to illustrate my masterpiece (probably myself) I'll start this quest of quests.

That was a long winded way of saying that I started questing cause I had a good idea.

>>128364
Outgrown their intended scopes? but one just "ended" their first chapter and the other literally just begun? You mean those things by just starting those quests or you don't expect them to go on for long?
and I was honestly suprised at the brutality of the comments on the TPOATH, never knew how nasty and inhuman they can be (I'm totally not taking what is literally a test quest and a bunch of letters into a full blown thread about suggesting best way to torture a person, while streaming that person)

>>128366
Well, what I mean is how much planning I've done for the path of a hero and the brothers grim. I've written out a ton of ideas for plot arcs and characters, and I expect that both will be rather long, assuming the protagonists survive long enough.

And as for the brutal comments and writing? Humans are animals. They always have been, and always will be. Most people have moral codes that prevent the monster from breaking loose, but at heart we are all beasts.

I'm just different because I'm monstrous on the outside too. I've been compared before to a wolf: cold, calculating, no remorse or mercy, but capable of functioning in a pack.

What I've done with The Path of a Hero is created a monster, then given control to the suggesters.

Now only one question remains: will the suggesters reform the monster that is Borya? Or will they become monsters themselves?

>>128369
While I personally disagree with such an outlook, that's just what made TPOAH one of the most interesting quests I've read, minus the overwhelming amount of text you put into them, one of borya's responses often feels like half the text of an average quest. (not asking for a change seeing it would be difficult for this type of quest)

>>128369
And since you mentioned you like talking about yourself, I've heard narcissism is a problem a lot of sociopaths have, is this one of the facts that influence your stance on taking about yourself (not accusing you of being a horrible person, it's just strange seeing how most people on this site avoid talking about themselves in this detail like the plague, and when they do it's often self-deprecating)

>>128387
facts may have been the wrong word choice...

>>128387
I am intrinsically narcissistic beyond what is anywhere near acceptable. I'm fairly certain the other quest authors don't talk about themselves because they have the good grace to stay professional, and focus on quests rather than themselves. I don't have that good grace.

And yes, my outlook is rather grim, and shared by few. But I am a rather grim person, influenced by few.

Speaking of good grace, allow me to direct (as much as it pains) attention away from me and towards the topic this thread is themed upon.

Do you feel that a more minimalistic approach to TPOAH's writing would benefit it? I actually spend quite a bit of time trying to make sure my writing isn't too brief. Trying to describe things in detail, and attempting to convey a visceral sense of immersion, despite the lack of pictures.

So if that's what people want, it would be no trouble at all to start using a more bare-bones style of writing. It would certainly make updates shorter, and more to the point.

Can I get some opinions?

>>128394
Your writing does a darn good job of making the situation seem nasty and depressingly grim, making the text shorter would effect some of that atmosphere, and I'm all for quality over quantity.

Asa the wizard 2019/03/14(Thu)00:14 No. 128453 ID: 6462c0
File 155254767693.jpg - (56.18KB , 450x450 , image.jpg )

>nasty and depressingly grim.
I do my best.

>>128386
>made TPOAH one of the most interesting quests I've read.
Well damn, I just payed attention to your comment, and saw this for the first time.
I take that as an immense complement, considering how many truly interesting quests there are on this website.

>>128454
While most quests have interesting ideas, most don't grapple with such themes like TPOAH.
I found that this quest, unlike lot of others, really keeps me engaged and makes me come back for more, not a lot of times you get to be at the helm of a murderous sociopath child that you're constantly trying to convince that breaking and arm off anyone who gets within 5 meters of her is a really, really bad idea while encouraging or discouraging the belief that she's basically a human human meat grinder.

>>128456
Your wording is well chosen.

Grappling with complex and often socially unacceptable themes is a central cord shared by all my quests, wether they've just begun, or are still in the concept phase.

Don't get me wrong, I love good old fashioned storytelling like the lord of the rings or quests like Story Seeker. Sure, a lot of the material has become cliché by now, but there's a reason those clichéd styles are used so often, because they're good.

However, I find myself most strongly engaged with stories where it's following a very mainstream theme, but something is off. A great example of this is the Witcher series, both the books and the games. The stories in those series take very large cues from classic stories by Grimm, but they always twist it, always throw you off kilter just when you think you know what's gonna happen. It's... Masterful, really, how good the plot is throughout that continuum. Hell, it was so good that after six books there was still plot enough for three games.

But I digress, my point, is that I want to write the Witcher. Not literally of course, but I aspire to that sort of dark fantasy that just immerses you and makes it impossible to put the book down.

Or close the thread, in the case of my Quests. That's what I aspire to, and that's what I strive for.

Because feedback is the best kind of feed, I would ask those with the time and inclination to rate TPOAH overall on a 1 to 10 scale.

Then, if you still feel like my ego isn't big enough (or is too big, as the case may be) go ahead and give me the predominant reasons for your rating. Give it too me straight, I like hearing about what's wrong with my quest because it allows me to objectively make it better.

You seem narcissistic. The way you write most questions looks like you're expecting something more than just an answer. Also, putting your email in every post is an indicator as well.

Other than that, you're pretty cool. You've already accomplished something more than the majority of people: Making a quest. I wish I had the drive you do.

>>128507
>You seem narcissistic.
I am narcissistic. My username is actually a nod at that.

I put my email in every post as a habit, and also because I want anyone who wants to, to be able to contact me in a private fashion. I made that email expressly for the purpose of tgchan.

>Other than that, you're pretty cool.
Thanks. I do try. And you seem to have genuinely spoken your mind, which makes you pretty cool as well.

>>128507
Oh yeah, and:
>The way you write your questions seems like you expect more than an answer.
I struggle with this all the time. It's a sociopath thing (wanna bet on how many times I can pull that card?): my inability to empathize with other people makes it extremely difficult to predict how they are going to interpret something I say.

So please understand that when I sound snarky, or like there was a subtle implication behind my words, it's just my social ignorance flaring up.

I'll try to be clearer, sorry.

Why do you use so many paragraph spaces and line breaks during normal conversational posts, in discussion threads and suggestions and so on? It comes across as like... the forum equivalent of someone sitting so spread out on the bus they take up multiple seats. Sorta visually obtrusive.

Like, especially in quest threads when you're suggesting, because the focus of a quest should be on the author's posts, and a suggester really shouldn't be making big screen-filling posts unless it's necessary to get their ideas across. Whereas with how you format your suggestions is not really necessary. Adding in a paragraph space now and then to break up a giant block of text is fine, that keeps things visually pleasing, but just every one or two sentences? That's really not.

Do you post from a phone, or something?

>>128612
The use of multiple paragraphs is just how I learned to write. It's a style thing. The way I was taught, you use a new paragraph every time the immediate subject changes. I am still getting used to writing on tgchan. It's very brief, impersonal, informal. A far cry from the monotonous, precise, formal style I had drilled into my skull. Your comment is useful, I genuinely wasn't aware that my posts were so arrogantly flamboyant. Perhaps this is a bit better?

>>128628
That is better, yes, thank you. The concept of using paragraphs to break writing into blocks that each cover one "step" or idea isn't a bad one, but I think it's intended more for writing essays and so on, where each of those steps is going to be more substantial and the text as a whole is going to be longer. Then, in creative writing, it would be different again, and paragraphs breaks would be more like how camera cuts are used in movies. Still, it's generally the case that you don't make a bunch of paragraphs that are too small. You can use small ones every now and then, but those would generally be used scarcely, and for, I guess you could call it...

... perceptual impact.

You know? For something that's supposed to stand out. If you use them all the time they won't be able to do that, in addition to making your text feel unnecessarily longer and drier. There are always exceptions, of course. You might use a string of short, paragraph-stretched lines to depict something like someone trudging through an empty desert. Though, doing that sort of thing too often or in too overblown a way could come across as pretentious. It depends.

>>128528
So there is unintentional narcissism and there is intentional narcissism. Which are you? Do you try to be narcissistic?

>>128641
Thanks. That really is helpful advice.

>>128648
I really don't. I really, really don't. In fact, I've spent the majority of my life trying to be less of a narcissistic, cruel, arrogant bastard. Success has been varied. I may have explained this before, so forgive me if I'm repeating myself, but: Sociopathy doesn't just mean that I don't feel sympathy for other people. It's as if everyone around me was merely a complex inanimate object. Sure, they may talk about their feelings, their likes and dislikes, and I am consciously aware that they have minds of their own, but I don't have any real ability to see that as important, or meaningful.

So you can probably imagine how it would be very difficult for me to actually see people around me as important or meaningful in any way. I try, I really do, to value everyone individually, but it is extraordinarily difficult to see anything that doesn't directly impact me as important. Within my mind, though I may consciously know otherwise, it's as if the entire universe revolves around me. Because I don't have the capacity to see anything other than myself as meaningful. Narcissism is an inherent byproduct.

I'm trying to be better. I'm really trying. But there is a reason that sociopaths are never heroes in media, yet are so often cast as villains. It's kinda like being born a witch, or a demon. All the people I've ever met, as soon as they learn what I am, or see the side of me that does truly monstrous things, they shun me as a danger to society. Hell, my kindergarten teacher wanted me removed from the class and sent to a mental institution. Boo hoo, poor me. Sorry for venting.

Somehow, TPOAH's dis-thread has become "Aspiring quester talks about his sad-sack life, and guns, the thread." I feel as though I could merely copy and past the text from this thread and I'd have a solid autobiography. Sorry for waxing on.

Alright, back on topic. I'm workshoping the next chapter before I start writing it, and a little audience input would help.

The story is going to be 'on rails' for a little bit. Where the overall direction the plot heads is going to be more or less set in stone. It's only for a bit, then suggesters are back in the saddle. But for that time, would you rather I just give a sort of overarching narrative? It would keep the 'on rails' segment as short as possible (and be far easier to write). Or would you rather I just bring suggesters in for key moments and then have the rest be explained with narrative exposition?

Up to you guys. (And/or girls, I ain't judging).

Ace of Spades 2019/04/03(Wed)21:15 No. 128945 ID: 54e0aa
File 155435131854.jpg - (48.99KB , 500x628 , image.jpg )

Y'all fucked up. Bad.

I wasn't going to help, but right now we're heading full steam towards the 'bad end'. And it seems everyone wants a 'good end', so I'm going to give a little advice. Take it or leave it.

The suggestions Borya are receiving right now are tearing her apart. You tell her to have emotion, to feel affection, to show trust; then you turn around and tell her to be paranoid of everything around her, to hide her emotions, to man the fuck up and be a cold, emotionless professional.

Think about what that's doing to her psyche, to her self image. I'm going to be completely honest, and say that she would have already committed suicide if you hadn't chosen the stable-psyche trait in the beginning.

You have to choose. You have to decide who you want Borya to become. If you keep asking her to act like a normal little girl, then turn around and demand she preform like a hardened soldier, the dichotomy is going to kill her, one way or another.

I'm not saying it's an all or nothing, she could still be a compassionate worrier of sorts (if you play your cards really well). But if you keep reaching for an impossible ideal, sooner or later reality is going to come crashing in.

Also, you have to remember that you guys are the closest thing she has to friends. Your the only moral support she has. So if immediately after an emotional breakdown you're saying 'can it, get up, and keep moving', with no regard for how she feels, she's going to feel more and more like nobody cares. When a reoccurring the I'm I'm seeing in suggestions is 'people care about you'.

Basically, just show that you care. Or else you just became another one of the people pushing her to be an emotionless monster.

Well, I think I've talked enough. Again, this is just advice, not rules for how to play. Take it or leave it.

>>128945
I'm pretty sure people are aware of that, but they seem to be hell bent on turning her into a monstrosity, a few here and there are telling her that she's gonna be ok that's just the minority. not saying it's a bad thing, this is a fictional character after all, and if that's what the voice of the people wants, then may it be so.

It's quite interesting what you've done with this latest response from Borya. You made everyone question the way they treat her, was this a reaction you planned to happen (to have her break down) or was this some hidden response to tgchanners to reconsider and re-evaluate the way they're treating her because of the abundance of messages encouraging being a soulless monster that were so common that they even made you worry a bit, or was it that you just thought that people were being unoriginal and weren't giving enough thought to suggestions?

>>128948
Yes? Partly all three.

I want people to question what they want. I don't think they know.

By my pen, Borya will follow suggesters to the nth realm of hell and back, if they so will it. I just want people to realize along the way that sometimes there's no such thing as 'the right' answer, sometimes there's no such thing as 'the good guys, and sometimes you have to comment an evil to spare a greater evil.

You have to make your own decisions, be your own person. If you're just doing something because people tell you it's the 'right' thing, you are allowing your soul to be consumed by modern-world sensibilities.

Borya isn't perfect, she never will be. Nor will any human ever to walk this earth be perfect. Sometimes life's a shit show, then sometimes it gets better, but sometimes it never does. Some people live and die a waking nightmare.

I'm not saying that's what Borya is destined for, I'm saying she is never going to have a perfect, normal, happy little life with loving parents and friends. As much as people might want that for her.

Am I making any sense?

The hand Borya was delt is unfair, it is. Basically a super-soldier waiting to happen born right before one of the greatest Cold Wars in history, and raised with a nuclear threat on the doorstep. For her, life just sucks. And her life is never going to be as good as a 'normal' persons. But that is why she has to fight all the harder, why she has to keep hoping.

Why suggesters have to keep hoping. why they have to keep fighting.

In the end, when you peel away layers of blood-soaked depravity, Borya is just a scared little girl who had everything taken away from her, a normal upbringing, friends, a normal life, by a mental disorder she had no control over.

Either she needs a friend, a person she can trust, can heal with. Or she needs to let these wounds scar over and become more hardened to the horrors that everyone must face in this brave new world.

The path must be chosen. And whatever is decided, I'll follow this story, to whatever end its followers deserve.

All I ask from suggesters is that you think, is that you feel. Let your actions be guided by your viscera, by your deepest self. Not just by your logical mind.

I can't tell you what is or is not right or wrong. Just be true that which you feel, not what you know. And I guaranty the path chosen will reflect the suggesters true self.

I sound like a fucking Disney cliché, so I know I've been talking to long. Does that answer your question? Sorry for getting preachy.

>>128953
Yeah, but that's boring and sad.

I say that not as an insult, but more as a reason for why some players might be choosing as they are. At the end of the day, at the very core of all of the reasons people might enjoy this quest.

It's entertainment. Some people are entertained by different things than others. How they go about even getting the SAME entertainment can be very different. But in the end of it all, we want to be entertained by a fictional story.

And saying 'she'll never have a happy ending' outright, I believe, was a mistake. Because now that WE, the PLAYERS, know that that is impossible, then...why bother? Why hope? God himself has said that it's not happening, and that's that. Sooo...

Expect us to find alternate ways to entertain ourselves in this story. If she can't be happy, then the easiest and most entertaining way of getting entertainment is to have her become a monster (be it tragic, or well-meaning, etc etc...). But she'll be an ENTERTAINING monster, and considering this is a fictional story with no real consequence, that's all that matters. What I think is that I want to be entertained by this fictional story somehow. What I feel is disappointed that she can't be happy, so fuck it, if she can't be happy, she can at least be fucking cool to watch wreck shit as I eat popcorn.

>>128955
Ohh, I fucked up my wording again. Da?

I was being a, ah, bit melodramatic. A happy ending is definitely possible, I just wanted to explain that, whatever may come of it in the end, this is not a feel-good story. My greatest fear for this story is that it becomes a living cliché, as the majority of media nowadays is. So to prevent that, I wanted to ask people to really think about their actions. I suppose I wanted to provoke real emotion from participants, rather than the sort of disconnected, glassy-eyed manner most seem to look at media in.

Based on your response it seems I have failed immensely.

If that is truly what people want, a thoughtless, saccharine happily ever after; then I'll doff my hat, swallow my pride, and do what I am obligated to as a writer, and an entertainer: give the readers what they want.

Don't give up so easily; when working together, we are as a child, our tendencies are, well, childish. What I think I was going for there was that you shouldn't say you will not give an easy out, and then do just that; these things are ephemeral, whether or not people are happy about the end they wind up with, they will move on. If it ends poorly, they will remember what happened when they did what they did, they may have regrets about how it ended, but, even then, they would remember. If they manage to scrape themselves together or some form of a majority forms, they may yet persist.

I for one would like for them to be treated not as children, this is interactive, if they want a better end, they can manage that, but they need to be able to engage. The form of the last few updates has been a bit jarring, I think; the gaps in time were larger than before and the natural response to the unknown was the result. Now, of course, this could possibly be remedied by the players themselves- and now I forgot where I was going with all
of this. I should sleep more. This probably reads like the disjointed blathering that it is and I'm sorry for that, I hope this somehow helps someone.

>>128956
It's not an A or B situation, my dude. Largely my rant comes down to 'Don't take the possibility of sincere success away from the players.'

It's called Earning Your Happy Ending. That's all.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EarnYourHappyEnding

Ace of Spades 2019/04/05(Fri)00:29 No. 128960 ID: 38e49f
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>>128957
>>128959
You're both right. And it seems you've found the words and phrasing I struggled with. That is precisely what I mean; a happy end will not simply manifest itself. It will take some doing, and some deep thought, but I'm confident that if everyone puts their minds to it, they'll be able to work an optimistic conclusion out of a pessimistic situation. If that's what you want, and that's what you strive for, you'll earn your happily ever after, and I won't have to sacrifice my artistic integrity. You have made clear to me that I was deluding myself into believing suggesters were at fault, when in reality I have no one to blame but myself for lack of flexibility.

I think what I need to do, as was pointed out, is stop treating suggesters like they are incapable. Perhaps they will play with fire, and perhaps they will get burned. But if that is to be, so be it. They will learn, they will figure it out themselves. They are intelligent people, whatever else they might be. I need to start giving credit where it is due, and stop telling suggesters how to suggest. Whatever they decide, however I feel about it, I will write it well to the utmost of my ability.

And Jimva, please. Your post could hardly be called blather. Perhaps you haven't read some of my previous posts? They will reveal to you the true meaning of blather. And for what it's worth, I found your words helpful. My sincere thanks, really.

Now if you gentlemen will excuse me, I need to man the fuck up, get the arrogance that has blinded me out of my eyes, brew myself a cup of coffee, and start writing this story like it deserves to be written.

Minor confusion here does Asa the wizard=Ace of Spades? Your IP seems rather dynamic.
A tripcode could help. I only recently found out how to do them: use "#" in the name field followed by what amounts to a secret username that gets hashed which is what others see after the "!" (or "!!" if you use more than one "#")

>>128960
not really arrogant, for your (I'm assuming) your first quest it's fantastic, usually people make a super bland story with characters less interesting than a box of sand and end very quickly, these are relatively small flaws and to see an author take criticism so well is what this world doesn't have anymore (i've watched Bioware get exposed for denying crunch time not too long ago so I guess it's a bit of a stretch to say to make such claims)

Speaking of endings, I assume if the Disney type good ending where all's well and good can't happen, then I assume the absolute worst ending possible, one where absolutely everything, and by everything I really mean EVERYTHING, ends in a horrible disaster can't happen. Life isn't exactly fair but the rule of the silver lining has always been a thing from what I can tell.

>>128963
Yeah, it's me, the Wizard. I just decided to use the nickname I received a couple years back. They called me 'the Ace of spades', and that sounds cool. So I went with it. I think I did this tripcode thing right. Am I tripping yet?
>Your IP seems rather dynamic.
I know. It's really weird. I'm not doing that on purpose. I'm just special, I guess.

>>128964
Kind words. Thank you. I like criticism, I really do. It's more helpful than anyone who isn't a writer could know. And besides, if someone cares enough about my story to take the time and point out the things that could be better, or that they don't like, then I can only thank that person for their dedication and contribution to the improvement of my work.

>>128965
Ah, a good point. Now, I'm really not entirely opposed to a true happy ending, it's just that I get so disappointed by endings nowadays that I feel it is my duty to do better. If it seems fitting, and goes with what is appropriate in the story, I will, without hesitation, write a true happy ending. But that does mean, conversely, that if that is where suggesters take us, then end will be unabashedly tragic. It's all up to you guys. You know, no pressure.

>Am I tripping yet?
you trippin! *small nod*

Ace of Spades!gPzojzOMZ6 2019/05/09(Thu)23:14 No. 129378 ID: 9e269f
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Yep, it's me. I know ya'll missed my inane fucking questions, so I'm back with another one. Answer truthfully, and know that your decision has true portent. No pressure.

Which is more important: The wound that precipitates a death, or the death itself?

>>129378
The death itself. The wound is only defined as the cause of death once the death has occured.

>>129378
The wound, the events that led to someone getting that wound could be used as a chance to learn something (occurrence: bullet in head, lesson: don't get shot in head)

>>129380
has nothing to do with the question but how to hell can someone with dyslexia gain such a (frustratingly) large vocabulary? audiobooks? movies?

>>129381
Well, one day when I was nine, I got tired of not being able to read, so I sat my ass down and started trying to read. The object of my attempt at literary comprehension was some novel or another, I forget the name but it was pretty good. Anyways, I must have sat there for around an hour just trying to parse the first page, to little avail. But as I read, it slowly became easier and easier, and by the end (keeping in mind that it took me around a year to finish a 400 page book) I had about the equivalent reading ability of my peers.

As for how my, egh heghm, let's call it unique (though dated and pretentious is probably more apt) vocabulary developed: I started reading classic literature in its classic form; Shakespeare, Po, Lovecraft, etcetera. Not only did they give me a wider vocabulary, but they also got me intrigued in what writing could be; A fresh plot, a tragic ending, a grim hero or an understandable antagonist, the pen is mightier than the sword, and I wanted to be the mightiest of all. Not that I mean to compare myself to those paragons of the craft, in comparison I'm a hopeless novice, but rather; they are the reason I fell in love with writing as well as reading.

And I did notice your parentheses use of 'frustrating'. While I might hope it was simply for emphasis, I realize that my language can be dense. Perhaps I should adopt a more common vocabulary writing my quest, you know, just to keep it easily readable. What do you think? I'd love your opinion.

>>129384
I have had no issue with it and think it likely that writing it using the words you think best fit will result in the highest quality story rather than trying to 'dumb down' the language.
I also think I have quite minor dyslexia, but it seldom makes itself known

>>129387
Duly noted, your opinion has helped shape me towards the perfection I strive for.

Oh, and, if it make you feel any better, dyslexics are always the smartest (Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci), trust me, I'd know. My opinion is entirely free of bias, and based solely on facts.

Ace of Spades!gPzojzOMZ6 2019/05/16(Thu)00:36 No. 129434 ID: 2839e1
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I have been sitting on my ass for two days now debating whether I should be railroading the next update or waiting for suggestions.

I can not decide if I am happy for the break, or anxious to get writing again. Grateful for this time to think, or sad for the time away from my favorite psychotic protagonist.

I think I'm suffering from writing withdrawal. Is that even a thing? Yes, it is. Because I'm feeling it.

The struggle is real.

>>129434
I got-chu. Would have done so earlier but I have been distracted from TGchan of late.

Ace of Spades!gPzojzOMZ6 2019/05/18(Sat)00:19 No. 129453 ID: abb1d8
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>>129451
Ontological crisis averted.

Hey y'all, you might have noticed that updates have been weird lately; kinda sporadic, couple really good ones, lot of pretty bad ones, a big old hodgepodge of inconsistency. I do apologize for this, but more so I'd rather promise to be better. While life may be like a box of chocolates, I'd like to offer a bit more consistency. So in that spirit, I'll be dedicating more time to ensuring certain standards of quality in my work. That'll slow things down just a little bit, but I feel that is a small price to pay for ensuring good quality.

Now on the subject of quality, and the subjectivity of quality, I would like to ask what you as the audience want to see more of in the quest. Do you want dialogue? More deep talk about emotions? More characters? Deeper characterization? More exposition? I'm still new to questing as a whole, and I want to get a feel for what you guys like to see. Similarly, what would you rather see less of? I know I can drone on (see above text) and I'd rather avoid boring you all to death.

>>129581
seeing how you write your quests from the 1st person, it is quite situational, you should give away exposition and delve into deep self reflection based on how the character is feeling/doing, it wouldn't make sense for Borya to start spilling exposition about certain firearms when she's having a mental breakdown.

>>129581
TBH i have not seen a quest like this, reads like a book, but it's a quest. I haven't seen issue with the updates (then again unless it is, like, actively bad I'm not hard to please) so far the balance you have been doing seems fine, some situations call for more of one thing and less of another. Focus on what is important to the story feels more important than focus on any one thing.
TL;DR: I don't see problems, keep doing what you feel is best.

Ace of Spades!gPzojzOMZ6 2019/06/05(Wed)00:34 No. 129594 ID: 86e851
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>>129584
That honestly sounds exactly like something Borya would do. But totally, I get your point, and that's what I'm trying to do: put you in the shoes of the character. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't 'missing the forest for the trees' as it were by spending too long talking about one thing, or being too brief/unclear about another. Thank you for the feedback.

>>129587
A quest that reads like a book is exactly what I'm going for, I'm extremely happy to hear that it delivers on that. I'm also very pleased that you find the balance okay. As per your behest, I'll keep rolling as I've been. Only, I'll keep trying to do it better, of course. Thanks for the feedback.

Ace of Spades!gPzojzOMZ6 2019/06/21(Fri)02:05 No. 129704 ID: a2aa23
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There will be no updates for a little while, this is because I am currently freaking the fuck out, drinking Vodka by the bottle, and constantly battling the desire to commit suicide.

I'll keep the story short: the device I normally write everything on, fucking melted. I mean the CPU literally melted, taking all the data with it. I could spend a long time trying to convey how fucking not cool this is, but I'll give you a number instead.

68,600 words. That's how much shit I had written down. Everything, I mean everything is gone. Concepts, characters, ideas. Everything I had written about TPOAH, is gone. But so, so much fucking worse is what I lost regarding my magnum opus, a quest I have been workshoping for more than a year. All the characters I agonized over, tweaking until they were perfect, the fucking dictionary sized amount of lore I wrote, the plot and flow charts I had carefully, meticulously constructed. All. Fucking. Gone.

I'll buy a new device, eventually, but I'm broke ass poor in the first place, and currently spending the money it would take to buy it keeping my local liquor ship in business and my already questionable sanity from shattering.

I'll scrape some cash together and get a new thing soon. I'll try to be back to updating by the end of the month, but I really can't promise anything right now. Not to myself, or you guys.

I'd say sorry for the inconvenience, but we both know that would just be me fishing for sympathy.

The moral of the story is: don't let your computer fucking melt.

Central Processing Unit does not store data. Storing data is usually the job of the Hard Drive, which is typically located far away from the CPU. So even if the CPU overheats and dies, the data on your device will usually remain safe and recoverable. I can't go into much detail since I don't know the specifics of your situation, but there's plenty of online guides to help you.

>>129706
You don't have to use maximum pedantry to make a suggestion about trying to recover the data.

>>129704
Uh well good luck getting things sorted.

Even if you lose a lot, stories are resilient.

>>129704
There are data recovery services for this kind of thing. Depending on what exactly got damaged, it could be very easy to get your data back.

>>129708
Sorry, I was trying to be precise because I thought it would have a calming effect to someone that was freaking out.

>>129709
Data recovery services are usually overpriced (more than the cost of a new device) so it only makes sense to use them as a last resort. Asa said they're broke, so I doubt they'll be able to afford to pay for such a thing.

Anyway, Asa, if you feel the data might be recovered and you still need help, I can contact you.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the advice and thought. I mean it.

I have actually managed to recover some stuff. I took the device to a computer repair place and they recovered the more recent files. The main problem though, or so I was told, is not actually that a good portion of the thing melted, but rather the age of the device itself.

I lied when I said it was a computer, it's technically an electronic typewriter with a single USB port and the processing power of a calculator. I got it in the early 90's, and have used it ever since. 'Used', past participle, is operative. That thing was so old that it's ability to retain data in the event of system failure (i.e: meltdown) was reminiscent of a bucket with no bottom.

But still, I consulted the experts and managed to get some stuff back. I will rewrite what was lost, and I'll do it even better than the first time. I, and my stories, shall prevail. This was merely a twist in the road, not the end of the line.

I just needed to be reminded of that, and damn if all of you weren't adamant reminding me.

Peace. I've got a quest to write.

So I'm back. Don't worry, I know you missed me terribly, I know all you were thinking this past month and a half was: "hey, what happened to that weird story with no pictures about a girl with anger issues authored by that guy who keeps talking about himself in the dis-thread? I miss him." I understand how much I mean to you all and I'm sorry for depriving you of your very favorite quest.

So sarcasm aside, I really am back. This was my longest hiatus yet, and it's all thanks to the metaphorical hole oft referred to as "writers block", a hole which I fell down.

In my time away, I perfected the grilled cheese sandwich, invented a new type of paper airplane, counted the flowers on the wall, and learned how to tie a friction knot. But most of all, I spent the time feeling guilty.

Every time I look at my phone I'd think 'I should be writing right now', I couldn't visit TG because it reminded me of how weak I was for being unable to write, I swear to god I heard Kome whisper "just do it" every time I opened the writing application. Overall, I wasn't doing so good.

But then I 'just did it', and whoopedy fucken doo it actually wasn't hard.

TL;DR: I'm back, I missed you guys, and if you're not putting bacon on your girilled cheese I really don't know what you're doing with your life.

Kay, so, the Intermission has been the main focus for awhile now, and I’ve been updating, uh, somewhat regularly. But a quick question.

How does everybody feel about the Intermission? Like it, want it to run awhile longer; or would you rather get back to Borya?

I’ll roll with it either way.

i mean i would like to get through this base assault first but after that i would love to go back to Borya.

thanks for making me google translate all that. =P Do you actually know russian (if so, cool) or was this a case of google translate both ways?

>>131340
Aw man, saw your /quest/ post first and replied to that. Never mind, then.

Didn’t intend for you to have to translate it, was hoping context and gestures would convey the meaning so I didn’t have to ruin the Russian vibe by having it all in English, a stylistic choice that I regret only slightly in hindsight. Thanks for translating that so everyone else understands.

And I don’t speak very good Russian, write it fuck-all. I can understand it fine, and speak it enough to be understood, but the finer nuances allude me. If I’m being perfectly honest, the language is even more of a mutant bastard than English. The syntax is brutally confusing, and there are so many one-off synonyms for words that a thesaurus would have to be as thick as War and Peace. Not to mention the size of Russia resulting in ridiculous regional variation.

In short it’s not an easy language to learn, kinda like Japanese; if you didn’t grow up with it and it’s surrounding culture you’ll never speak it fluently. Lucky enough for me, a good friend of mine speaks it natively. So he helped with the dialogue. Originally, it had a lot of “Blyat”s in it. “Blyat” has virtually no equivalency in English, it could mean “Bitch”, “Fuck”, “Ah!”, or “Damn it” depending on how you use it. It’s pretty much the most versatile word I know of. But google translate doesn’t know what the hell to do with it, so I left those out.

The day Google translate can properly understand Russian is the day AI rules the world. But the translation you gave conveys the point. So for intents and purposes it’s good enough.

>>131343
all good, translating it didn't change the choice I made, but did solidify it. Translated it cause I had to know. Speaking of Japanese I took a few classes of it such that, should I really want to, I should be able to construct sentences with enough effort. I know enough to know roughly how to look up what other things I would need as well as the basic grammatical structure. I honestly think Japanese would be easy enough to learn if it didn't have kanji. (Kanji being why I'm not still studying Japanese)