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11907 No. 11907 ID: 34470e

Discussion of Mana Ritual goes here.

Discuss Characters, "plot", and setting here.

You can also make your own self-style for ANY type of magic. Note that magic is weird and doesn't really follow any specific rules.
Expand all images
>>
No. 11910 ID: 34470e

And to start things off, I present this:
TYPES OF MAGIC

First off, in order to use magic, you have to have a mana ritual. Once you have a mana ritual used on you, you can't use any other type of magic.

Black - Mainstream black magic is thinking about negative emotions such as despair, frustration, hunger, etc. Casting requires words such as "freeze", "death", and "confusion". People who use this type of magic are black mages.

White - No set mainstream. People who use this type of magic are white mages(or healers), death mages(or necromancers), and law mages(or paladins).

Green - No set mainstream. People who use this type of magic include fake mages(or illusionists) and time mages(or chronomancers).

Blue - Mainstream blue magic is that any spell can be cast after watching someone cast it with decreasing power. The power of the copied spell depends on how much mana the blue mage has. After a blue mage casts that same spell 5 times, they must watch a person cast the spell again in order to use it again. People who use this type of magic are blue mages(or copycats)

Red - Mainstream red magic is that a red mage can learn a severely limited amount of spells from all types of magic. People who use this type of magic are red mages.
>>
No. 11998 ID: 34470e

Theme for Rojo:Korn - Thoughtless http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfiZAH6nkuA
>>
No. 12170 ID: 34470e

Theme for Mary Shaw:Headbanger - Never Ever Scream http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6U2t6r4WLo
>>
No. 12571 ID: 34470e

I should probably post this, though it may change. It's the spells for Mainstream Black Magic.

Attacking spells(from least to most powerful):
Sting, Pain, Break, Split, Trauma, Shatter, Ravage, Torment, Doom, Death.

And then the debuff spells:
Blind(blinds target)
Drain(exhausts target's mana)
Confusion(confuses target)
Control(control's the target like a puppet)
Freeze(freezes the target in place)
Mind Wipe(empties the target's memory)
Mute(mutes the target)
Paralyze(makes the target unable to move)
Suffocate(disables the target's lungs)
Terror(makes the target extremely scared)
>>
No. 12579 ID: 8ecfd4

Can this be Maguns theme song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK0rvReE-4c ?

And could we get him to make a bet with Xom to gain Malmsteen guitarre skills and then get him an enchanted guitar for maximum potential to fucking rock?
>>
No. 12620 ID: 34470e

>>322379
No and no. Inb4 I'm no fun.
Theme for Magun:Rev Theory - Voices http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZptBFJbaV4
>>
No. 12720 ID: 34470e

You know, I totally had both a personality and theme for Kasparov ready, but you guys killed him before he could even talk. ;_;
>>
No. 12721 ID: c0f3bf

>>322520
But he was EVIL

And NOT the good kind!
>>
No. 12724 ID: 34470e

>>322521
And how exactly do you know that?
>>
No. 12726 ID: 34470e

Shot, I hope you don't mid if I steal this from your /questdis/ thread.

1) Why do you read my quest?
2) What would you like to see more of?
3) What would you like to see less of?
4) What do you hate about my quest?

Plus a few questions of my own

5) Who's your favorite character?
6) Least favorite?
7) What moment do you think was the funniest?
8) Most boring?
>>
No. 12735 ID: a85626
File 12687661463.png - (523.06KB , 1000x619 , cylinders_lucky.png )
12735

>>322524

That's the problem with illusionists. You can never know for sure. Half the time they don't even know who what or where they are. Death is the only option.

If Kasparov were a black mage then Magun could just say "Release. What the fuck, punk?" but since we couldn't trust him to even remain in the visible spectrum, it was pretty clear that "Release. Death." was the only thing to do.

That and Magun is kind of a dick. If I were Magun I'd just have given Kasparov one of my famous unhidable tattoos.

To introduce an illusionist that we don't use the ultimate illusion solution on, you have to start out with him winning. We get stuck in an illusion or something, like how Mary Shaw had us stuck in a dream. Then if he's evil, but we can break out of the illusion, then we won't feel threatened enough by him to feel death is the only solution. People are kind of foolish that way. If we can't break out of his illusion, then you have a Mastermind character, to which I can only say HOLYCRAPKILLITWITHFIRE.

Oh, also inb4 IT WAS A KASPAROV CLONE
>>
No. 12736 ID: 8ecfd4

Damn Magun is pretty badass. Fucking around with him seems like a good way to end up with a bad case of extreme death. Why won't you let him turn into a dread lord of Metal? He could be a dualclassed wizard/bard with an enchanted guitare that shots lightning and actually produces real face melting riffs.
>>
No. 12738 ID: a85626
File 126877266862.jpg - (94.79KB , 529x557 , AWWW___I_think_he_LIKES_it.jpg )
12738

>>322526

1) Why do you read my quest?

I... I don't know. I don't usually like text quests. I'm terribly sorry to burden you with my presence.

2) What would you like to see more of?

I would like to see Nirblim's tribe forced to move to a new location, though after inexplicably defeating powerful enemies left and right. I would also like to learn more of the other members of his tribe in more detail. I want to see what makes Magun snap, but considering he's gone 500 years so far without losing his cool, it's not likely to happen in Nirblim's lifetime. Also I'd like to see the lich be somebody completely unexpected and plot twisty, too much for me to say here so you'll just have to consider the possibilities yourself.

3) What would you like to see less of?

less Magun for one. He is admittedly a game breaker character. Less stereotypes. I like how you're trying to get Rojo between penitent healer and unstoppable asshole, but maybe something like badass healer might be more to her tune. Also Carg is a bit... too egotistical. He'll never become the best thief the world has ever seen, with that attitude!

4) What do you hate about my quest?

Rojo started out as pretty fucked up beyond the point of cool. Her recovery was a bit weird too; I'd have been more excited at getting back my ability to eat meat. I'm not real comfortable with the whole Magun thing. Or Xom for that matter. Xom should not be cursing his own Chosen Mortal Manifestation on Earth.

Plus a few questions of my own

5) Who's your favorite character?

Nirblim... probably. Depending it might be Carg too though.

6) Least favorite?

Oh definitely Kasparov.

7) What moment do you think was the funniest?

When Magun said "Just kidding." Alternatively when Carg was forced to disguise himself in woman's clothing to steal the phylactary from the lich.

8) Most boring?

Definitely Magun's freezing and interrogation of the whole city. Most boring 4 hours ever.
>>
No. 12870 ID: 34470e
File 126895378816.jpg - (132.75KB , 456x601 , Crab Shark 1.jpg )
12870

Theme for Arkan:Frazzbass - Arkanoid http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDgfnEet6WA
>>
No. 12871 ID: 1ac39d

>>322670
man, crab-sharks. i don't think it is possible to get something better at melee.
>>
No. 13135 ID: bf49dc

1) Why do you read my quest?
Because it's there, has magic systems, and cutebolds.
2) What would you like to see more of?
More characters and personalities, maybe some tribebolds? Or something completely different?
3) What would you like to see less of?
Less gods, less forces.
4) What do you hate about my quest?
Restrictive magic systems.
Plus a few questions of my own

5) Who's your favorite character?
Nir.
6) Least favorite?
Mary Shaw.
7) What moment do you think was the funniest?
The limes.
8) Most boring?
The limes.
>>
No. 13166 ID: 1ac39d

okay, resume the argument over 'making Rojo not have dark impulses anymore' here.
>>
No. 13170 ID: 34470e

You know what? In addition to the general questions to my quest, I'm going to see how you classify characters according to this:

Lawful Good:
Neutral Good:
Chaotic Good:
Lawful Neutral:
True Neutral:
Chaotic Neutral:
Lawful Evil:
Neutral Evil:
Chaotic Evil:
>>
No. 13194 ID: 632862

>>322972
...how is it not canon if that's what the author thinks it is?
>>
No. 13196 ID: 632862

>>322966
Basically the quest author encouraged us to keep it because of the 'superpowered evil side' trope.

If we can make it easier to control, that'd be great. Removing it completely is apparently a bad idea, though.
>>
No. 13201 ID: 34470e

>>322994
Because I may be wrong or something.
>>
No. 13614 ID: 34470e

Random info on Fireheart Water

Fireheart water is an illegal drug consumed my mouth in order for the user to get high. The amount of time required for the drug to be used until the user starts experiencing "burnouts" is about 10 years.

Burnouts start with dizziness. hen shortness of breath occurs. Then vision blurs, then a huge feeling of weakness, then the heartrate increases, then the person passes out. The shortness of breath and increased heartrate continues several minutes afterwards.

If a person who is experiencing a burnout ingests fireheart water, they won't experience the high they'd normally experience.
>>
No. 13769 ID: 1ac39d

okay guys. this should be the story of what just happened:

we went from Xan to Rojo and told her to different stories, as is the nature of this it is hard to coordinate our ideas. she became highly suspicious of us and we stated that Xan was 'plotting something' upon which she yelled at him for telling us about the wedding and he yelled at us for telling her. we are then booted to nir, who we are forced to tell so he could talk to them since we were booted from her head.

we need to say that 'we tried to find a clever way to not tell her about the wedding but also not say we are lying. it would have worked perfectly if it wasn't for the fact she already knew about the wedding, our lack of information is what revealed it, not being actively malicious.
>>
No. 14277 ID: 1ac39d

while i will keep playing, i call 'BULLSHIT' on Nir picking up a black magic scroll at the white magic school.
>>
No. 14278 ID: 34470e

>>324077
Actually, Nir was just in storage. The place with the "hill" was the white magic school
:D
:)
:|
:C
Okay, I suck.
>>
No. 14279 ID: 1ac39d

>>324078
UNICODE STARE
>>
No. 14549 ID: 34470e

New theme for Lich Nirblilm:Kors K - Waxing and Wanding http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rb5m4i8EtA
>>
No. 14550 ID: 1ac39d

everyone in this alternate world is really grating on my nerves.
>>
No. 15010 ID: 34470e

TRANSLATION OF WHAT LICH NIRBLILM SEES

The thing I'm in is kind of like a circle. Near a door with the downwards spiral staircase, there are 3 chairs. There are 2 windows. 's a bookcase with books inside. another door.

FFFFFFFFF LICH NIRBLILM YOU'RE STUPID! Not really.
>>
No. 15015 ID: f0ceda
File 127261337891.gif - (27.90KB , 500x365 , Pedo-Ritual.gif )
15015

Everytime I see the logo of this quest I see this.

animooted
>>
No. 15017 ID: 34470e

>>324815
FFFFFFF I CANNOT UNSEE YOU BASTARD
>>
No. 15024 ID: 34470e

Attempt #2 at placing characters in alignments
Lawful Good: Rojo
Neutral Good: Nirblilm
Chaotic Good: Carg
Lawful Neutral: The Order
True Neutral: Dedea, Arris
Chaotic Neutral: Arkan, Xom, Magun
Lawful Evil: Torus
Neutral Evil: Raul
Chaotic Evil: Mary Shaw
>>
No. 15036 ID: 904456

>>324815
Hah, you beat me to it - I kept thinking the exact same thing.

PEDOBEAR IS FINAL BOSS
>>
No. 15195 ID: 34470e
File 12731776336.jpg - (533.28KB , 885x884 , Yatagarasu.jpg )
15195

Theme for Yatagarasu: Yatagarasu ~ The Gentleman Thief Who Dances in the Black Night http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anPsurjE7z8
>>
No. 16390 ID: 34470e
File 127509427873.jpg - (210.34KB , 800x1404 , Sven Steen.jpg )
16390

Themes for Sven Steen:

Cloudcuckoolander mode:Renaldo & The Loaf - A Medical Man http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS5FwhecoLY
Assassin mode:Lights Out God Help Me - Spencer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slgwPVhejU8
>>
No. 16732 ID: 34470e

It's come to my attention that nobody cares about Mana Ritual and Unforgotten anymore. Which sucks, because I was having fun doing both, only to have the fun snatched away from me when I didn't get any more suggestions.

I want to end this, but it's impossible for me to do so. There's just too much to type, and people only like picture quests, so I can't type an epilogue. It'll just be ignored.

I'll wait a while before I start the next quest. It'll have to be a picture quest if I want to get any suggestions.
>>
No. 16733 ID: 1ac39d

i found them rather enjoyable, but then your plot started breaking down. also, i was practically carrying them both alone, so it was more like a single player game then a quest.

adding Sven Steen was just... ugh. i wanted to just beat the shit out of him yet was forced to play nice.

unforgotten was coming down with a severe case of "should i do this obvious thing?" so everything was just going so slow.
>>
No. 16734 ID: 34470e

>>326533
You could have told Sven Steen to get lost thorough another chatacter. And I saw at least 3 different things you could do in Unforgotten: Ask Haru what's up, ask to be sent to him, or ignore him.
>>
No. 16735 ID: 1ac39d

>>326534
really? sven struck as the kind of guy who holds a grudge and would kill them all in their sleep for the smallest slight.

why would i think of switching to haru when i already knew what was up with him? he was mopey about having to see his mom and dad again.
>>
No. 16736 ID: 34470e

>>326535
Are you sure he was mopey about having to see his parents? Did you even sop to think that he felt good when he commanded Odoru, but didn't like it when he felt good?
>>
No. 16737 ID: 1ac39d

>>326536
no, i did not, the information provided did not lead me to that conclusion. at worst i could deduce that he does not like acting royal.
>>
No. 16738 ID: 34470e

>>326537
See, that's the thing. You DIDN'T know, yet you acted like you did. The same goes for me. I thought you wouldn't have Torus want to give up ultimate power, yet you did. You never know until you try.

You must also take into account the people reading these in the archives. They might not make the same conclusion as you.
>>
No. 16739 ID: 1ac39d

... what? no all i know was he got a 'pained expression' obviously from telling him to act like a royal. and a 'worried look on his face.' afterwards. how was i suppose to get that he enjoyed bossing people around but did not like the fact he enjoyed it?
>>
No. 16740 ID: 34470e

>>326539
Like I said: you never know until you try. Did you know Des had the voice before you were sent to him? Did you know Magun had the orb of infinite psyche? Did you know Rojo's past? Did you know Armi liked the taste of wine? You didn't. You act like your supposed to know everything.
>>
No. 16741 ID: 1ac39d

no, i wasn't acting like that at all. we already went to haru to stop him from suiciding and learned he has deep seated control issues. i was making a logical conclusion based on what i already knew.
and everything else you stated we did not learn until you TOLD US. we did not know armi liked wine until she drank some. before that we had no way of coming to that conclusion.

simply put. if we don't understand what is going on then it is your fault for not giving us enough information to go on, not ours.


dude, come on, you are normally a nice guy but this whole 'quest not working out' thing seems to have thrown you for a loop. go calm down then come back and talk to me.
>>
No. 17092 ID: e31d52
File 12759828903.png - (7.70KB , 640x480 , colonvee.png )
17092

ALRIGHT I DON'T READ THIS QUEST OR ANY OF YOUR QUESTS, HOWEVER, I DO SEE YOUR UPDATES AND AS ANOTHER WRITER I FEEL YOU NEED TO BE TOLD A FEW THINGS.

If you want to write a screenplay or a play, write one. But you're writing a Quest. Quests are not that. They aren't scripts. Yes, it's easier to write like that, and yes, it makes things simpler on yourself, but it... look, it hurts to read. Period. It's why I haven't and won't read your quests, it reminds me too much of bad fanfiction.

The format, not the content.

When writing, either use '"____"____ said' or something similar, or preface the dialogue with '___ says'. This isn't infringing on 'your style' this is basic english and literature. You look at Bones, or any of Bob's quests, or any of my text (hell, arted) quests, and then you look at yours. There's a difference, a rather marked one.

Look, you could stand to improve. I'm not saying you're absolute shit, I'm saying you need to work on your lazy style. In all of your quests. Look, just... Look.



Hattori: Hello, my dear wonderful wife, what is for dinner?
Ella: Why, this wonderful boar I killed this afternoon and prepared!
Hattori: Wonderful job, my dear!



Hattori stretched widely and yawned as he entered his home, sniffing the air. Something was cooking, something wonderful. He walked into the kitchen and took a seat.
"Hello, my dear wonderful wife, what is for dinner?" he asked intently, causing Ella to turn around, revealing the carcass she was butchering.
"Why, this wonderful boar I killed this afternoon and prepared!" she replied, smiling, and going back to work on it.
"Wonderful job, my dear!" he replied, rising and kissing the back of her neck. He needed to play with his son, for he had neglected to today. So with that, he headed into the backyard.

Both scenes use the same mental image and the same dialouge. But which one would you prefer to make suggestions to, A or B?

Again. I'm not saying you're shitty or intending this to be flaming. I'm merely pointing out how you could VASTLY improve. Yes, I've seen you use B. But only sometimes. You should be doing that, ALL THE TIME. I want to see you improve, Goldude, so that's why I'm going to the effort of posting this. Please don't take offence.
>>
No. 17096 ID: 34470e

>>326892
My writing style takes great offense to this and wants to murder your face dead.

I, on the other hand, will attempt that style. If it doesn't feel right to me, I'll go back to the shitty style. Wait, I didn't mean it like that. You're not shit! Please but down that knife. Please? No... No, no, NO DON'T- AAAAAAUUUUGH!
>>
No. 17109 ID: 34470e

>>326896
Sorry I'd lose you as a reader, but muscle memory makes it very difficult to change my writing style. If I get more than 3 people(yourself included) who want me to change my writing style to the one that I tried out, I will train myself to do so.
>>
No. 17114 ID: 2eac65

Your dialogue isn't a problem. It's just another, non-traditional way of writing, and I honestly prefer it in some cases. When there's a lot of talking involved, it's nice to be able to tell who's speaking at the start of a sentence; plus, it's more concise.
>>
No. 17920 ID: 732129

>>326909

The trouble is that your style of dialog makes it difficult for the reader to understand everything that's going on. The scene in chapter 6 where Nir was talking to Mary and she was having trouble feeling a connection to him because he was speaking in a stilted manner (essentially parroting everything the spirits told him) was completely unclear until she said as much. There were few indications that the trouble was with how Nir was speaking. A more traditional method of dialog would have avoided that problem altogether because you would have been describing how he was speaking, and the tones to her voice as she reacted.
>>
No. 17921 ID: 8bdb6a

I am a big believer in writing it like it's a novel, in terms of diction and structure. Everyone should write like it's a novel unless they have a good reason not to.
>>
No. 17927 ID: 34470e

>>327720
Okay then, I'll try to be more descriptive. Sorry.
>>
No. 18880 ID: 34470e

>>/quest/201827
So you want less freeform and more railroad? I've tried to give you freedom, and you don't want it.
>>
No. 18886 ID: 527951

>>328680
no, i want the character to have more thought and emotion and goals. they do what we wanted them to do without us telling them to because it's what THEY want to do. if at anytime the suggestion would be 'why are you asking us?' then you need to just keep writing. like recently, even though we never told carg whether or not to answer the question of 'do you like to be a thief?' he could of answered that without confirming with us if he should. you need to fill in the gaps. just keep writing until the character has an actual question that they cannot figure out on their own. torus asking us what we should do about a person is a good question, asking what she should have for dinner is bad, cause everyone we are not in can make up their mind, why the sudden inability to in her?
>>
No. 19530 ID: 8e2486

okay i quit, you just passed a dead baby joke off like it's no big deal.
>>
No. 19546 ID: 34470e

>>329330
Carg doesn't think it's a big deal, but I do. I am not my characters. If you want to yell at him, do so.
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