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43d730.jpg
Royal Noon Dancer
43d730
That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Text Macro" bullshit that's going on in the internet right now. Lolcats deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine lolcat in icanhascheezburger.com for 1,000,000 internets(that's about 20,000 lollars) and have been d'awwwwing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cause heart failure in slabs of solid dog lover with my lolcat.
Creepy fat neckbeards spend years working on a single lolcat and photoshop it up to a million times to produce the finest images known to mankind.
Lolcats are thrice as d'awwesome as rofldogs and thrice as funny for that matter too. Anything head a rofldog can make explode into candy, a lolcat can do so better. I'm pretty sure a lolcat could easily make Lance cry at his wasted life with a simple 'I can haz cookie?'.
Ever wonder why Victor never before bothered conquering Icanhascheezburger.com? That's right, he was too scared to see the disciplined lolcats and their hijinks of d'awww. Even in the early days of the internet, sysadmins blocked the sites with the lolcats first because their d'awwwing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Lolcats are simply the best .jpgs, .gifs, and .pngs that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in this quest. Here is the stat block I propose for Lolcats:
(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork, autostun on hit and 50% chance to cause either a diabetic coma or charm.
(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork, autostun on hit and 100% chance to cause both a diabetic coma or charm.
Now that seems a lot more representative of the d'awwing power of Lolcats in real life, don't you think?
tl;dr = Lolcats need to do more damage in Nicquest, see my new stat block.
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