XenobenerHund 2021/08/09(Mon)12:27 No. 1007518 ID: 164e20
File 162853722320.gif - (3.39MB , 1200x901 , something_something_big_eye.gif )

>>1007512
(Bitluk draws a giant floating lyluk eye in the air above their boat. The eye of google immediately locks eyes with it and sees the party on their boat)
"Illegal content detected. Proceeding with deletion"
"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good! I hope you guys know what you're doing!"
>>1007516
"Uhhhhhhh, Google search lyluk inflation!"
"Illegal search terms. Informing the FBI, CIA, NSA, NRO, DOD, CID, DHS..."
"I think that bought us some time but we really need your help now that it's seen us! What do we do?"

>>1007517
>>1007518
Blind them with the power of a thousand suns!! (maybe not literally a thousand suns, sheeshus poor bitluk's drawing trunk)

no time to think, just go to the nearest portal or portal looking thing you can find and get in, hopefully you will end in a better place

>>1007518
Quickly, look up Luklukgo and head there as fast as you can!

Launch the lyluk eye at him to distract him more. We need you all to rush fast into safety now. If we get caught, your last itch effort is using the lyluk pills.

hmmm what if you draw a big blue and red shield and pretend you're an anti-virus?

XenobenerHund 2021/08/09(Mon)13:38 No. 1007524 ID: 164e20
File 162854152590.gif - (3.71MB , 1200x901 , r34_trip.gif )

>>1007517
>>1007519
>>1007522
(Bitluk quickly adds some god rays to the giant floating eye and draws some action lines to have it zoom towards the evil eye. She doesn't really understand how this realm is able to understand the difference between god rays and actions lines but she is thankful none the less)
>>1007513
>>1007515
>>1007520
>>1007522
"That was a good one bitluk! Now lets wheel on out of here before it regains it's vision! Theres no time to be choosy with where we end up! Also I can't read so I hope we choose one thats better than here!"

*o h n o*
They're heaidng into the...
Pervert realm ono

Oh no. Whatever you do, DO NOT think of anything you hold dear in there. Seek an exit, fast!

I'm sure it's fine. Look for some bakery-related things, that should get you closer to the chef's house.

Hey bitluk, can you draw a blindfold around your eye? Don't ask why, when you grow up you will understand in time.

BITLUK QUICK MAKE BLINDFOLDS FOR YOU AND EGGLUK TERRIBLE THINGS WILL HAPPEN

Wait I've got it! Think hard the following words: "Hello, I am Pedo McHackerman, provisional leader of the anti-lyluk legion, and I would like to see pictures of naked children, pls kthnx."

That should make the police immedeatedly go to the hacker to beat him up and send him to jail.

XenobenerHund 2021/08/12(Thu)08:16 No. 1007748 ID: 164e20
File 162878138675.gif - (5.87MB , 1200x901 , escape_34.gif )

>>1007525
>>1007526
>>1007528
>>1007529
(Bitluk quickly makes blindfolds for her and eggluk, she wonders why you don't want to give one to migeluk but you probably have your reasons)
"Don't worry girls, I'll steer us out of this place! The pervert spirits are probably just trying to scare us, it can't be that bad right?"
(A few minutes later)
(Bitluk heard many squishy sounds in this place, she almost removes her blindfold out of curiosity but she trusts your judgement)
"..."
>>1007545
(Even Eggluk thinks this idea is stupid. If she thinks it then that'll make the cops chase her)
>>1007527
(Once the squishy sounds stop bitluk removes her blindfold and looks around for anything bakery related. She doesn't see anything. Uh oh! Looks like you're lost! How are you going to find your way to the computer now?)

>>1007748
uhh, migeluk, you ok? (or will be, rather?)

>>1007748
Well if you're lost there's only one thing to do...

>Onwards to adventure!!!
Look for a duck that go-go-s, it's very friendly unlike google and will help you find what you need.
also, draw TOR, god of thunder, he will protect you from unwanted eyes with his electric lightning powers and mighty hammer, Mjölnir.

XenobenerHund 2021/08/12(Thu)10:33 No. 1007758 ID: 164e20
File 162878958576.gif - (10.60MB , 1200x901 , darknet_portal.gif )

>>1007749
"...I might be okay once we get out of this place once and for all. Lets hurry up get this over with."
>>1007750
(Bitluk crys out for the friendly helpful duck and sure enough it shows up. Bitluk feels a deep kinship with this creature)
"Finally, someone who can help us, now can this show us the way out?"
(Bitluk doesn't know what TOR is so she asks the friendly duck to show her. The duck opens are portal into deep darkness)
"Is that the way out!? I'm going in!"
(Migeluk drives the rest of the party into the portal before anyone can object.)
(The lyluks go deep into the dark web, what have you done pervert spirits?)

Okay, stay calm, everyone stay calm, there is NO reason to panic.
Look around for something the Chef would like and head that way.

Hmmm what about some cooking recipes?

>>1007758
Don't worry, the name "dark net" is mostly misleading. It's like a non-connected realm where you can only connect to another place if you know where it is/it's address.

Once you're there just focus on the chef's computer, focus your thoughts and energies into a portal to it, and you should get out unseen by google.

You could theoretically do this for anywhere if you know where it is.

XenobenerHund 2021/08/12(Thu)13:31 No. 1007765 ID: 164e20
File 162880029918.gif - (6.41MB , 1200x901 , forbidden_knowledge.gif )

>>1007759
>>1007760
>>1007761
(Bitluk uses all two of her braincells to focus on what she knows about the chef, like his delicious cooking. Suddenly a book manifests before the party)
"Oh great, one of these things, lyluks can't use these. But wait, don't you pervert spirits know how to read? Is there any useful knowledge contained in this book for us?"

I do believe this book is kinda based

It's indeed a cooking book with recipes inside.
I don't think Lyluks are familiar with political concepts, so yeah, go for it.

Ignore what those two are saying, that book wont help us at all!

Maybe looking for him online will help?

Think about the cook that worked with the Romans, or what happened to the other ones!

I think asking a question will make the answer appear

XenobenerHund 2021/08/12(Thu)14:36 No. 1007778 ID: 164e20
File 162880421014.gif - (6.60MB , 1200x901 , another_cook_book.gif )

>>1007766
>>1007769
>>1007772
"You're giving us mixed signals, should we take the book or not?"
>>1007774
(Bitluk thinks really hard about the cook that worked for the romans, another book appears)
"Is this going to be the one that gets us back to reality? Aw geez, I really wish I could read..."
(Do you take the book? What about after you decide?)

Hey lyluks, have you seen a cookie browser anywhere? It's what the cookie computer used, that should be our exit. If we keep staying here in the dark web chances are we get attacked by adware or something like that.

And of course, take the books, the baker can read and we'll be able to use culinary skills for something if we get in trouble with the cookie cabal again.

>>1007778
The new book is written in a weird language, we can't really say what's in it.
The other says cookbook, so take the first one?

>>1007778
The first one is a book filled with instructions for making dangerous an illegal things like bombs and drugs.
The second one is an actual roman cookbook, and might lead us to Lhomar the Chef.

Up to you!

Which you wanna take? The Anarchist Cookbook about making bombs and other country-breaking things?
Or the actual Roman cookbook written by a famous Roman gourmand?

Maybe with the Roman cookbook and Bitluk's cow drawings we can convince the legionaires to turn Pedocles Hackerman!

*turn against

XenobenerHund 2022/03/16(Wed)15:23 No. 1026412 ID: 164e20
File 164746940590.gif - (6.57MB , 1200x901 , cookbook_fusion.gif )

>>1007780
"Nope, I haven't seen any cookies down here whatsoever. What about you bitluk?"
(Bitluk imagines a cookie but the resulting manifestation is too abstract for a lyluk to understand)
>>1007781
>>1007782
>>1007783
>>1007786
"You guys are giving mixed signals here. You know what? Lets do what pilluk would do and take both. 'I got high tolerance' As she'd say. Hyah."
(The books combine and open a path to the real world. But who would be searching something like that on the DARKNET?)

XenobenerHund 2022/03/16(Wed)15:32 No. 1026413 ID: 164e20
File 164746993150.gif - (9.90MB , 1200x901 , tank.gif )

>>1026412
"Heh heh heh, and MD said that modern tanks suck, can't do this in a panzer I'll tell him that."
"Ah yeah, show me that beef girl, you want this don'-"
*WARNING* *SYSTEM INFECTED BY VERMIN*
"What? OH NO!? Aw dammit! I knew I should've only looked for the vanilla stuff!"

>>1026413
Oh no, you girls are inside a roman tank now!!
And they know you're there!!
And There's NAUGHTY COW STUFF there too!!!

Let's go conquer the romans.

Seize control of the means of destruction. Ride against our enemies!

XenobenerHund 2022/04/10(Sun)09:15 No. 1028747 ID: 164e20
File 164960726997.gif - (1.62MB , 1200x901 , digibreak.gif )

>>1026418
>>1026421
>>1026422
(Sound of portal to the digital world opening)
*POP*
"Hey! We're finally out of there! Where are we though? This doesn't look like lhomars house..."
(Bitluk thinks this is just the parking lot of the supermarket!)
"Luckily our entrance into the real world destroyed this tank and whoever was inside. But what now? What can we do with a ruined tank and a digital boat?"
"Bzzzzt"
"Shut up midgeluk! God, we would never do that!"
(Where do the lyluks go from here?)

Boy, cross-dimensional travel sure is... something. You've traversed the internet for only a short while, yet it feels like months have passed! (i hope there aren't any health issues associated with it, such as, say, memory loss or forgetfulness.)

Right! Back onto finding a way to rescue your fellow luks. Last we saw they were (presumably) in danger from the greasy weirdo back in the surveillance room.
shame you can't just shittify the tanks and use them to take him down (or at least driving over to the chef's), but going by how easily he dealt with the glass i'm not sure you'd stand a chance, even in a shittified tank.
Oh well, i'm sure the meanluks have him handled.

wait... oh no! you're still bit-ified!!

You're still bitified... Maybe we can use this to our advantage? What new powers do you all have?

Regardless, our friends are still stuck with that accented tyrant and his guards. They are our top-most priority, we need to find a way back in!

Careful with those tanks back there! Don't make much noise!

XenobenerHund 2022/04/10(Sun)12:27 No. 1028759 ID: 164e20
File 164961883934.gif - (406.02KB , 1200x901 , pixel_honkers.gif )

>>1028750
"Months? I don't know what you're talking about. Does time work differently in the spirit realm or something? Thanks for the recap and shame about the tank, it would've been useful to have it with all these other tanks about. Also thanks for reminding us how screwed we are."

>>1028751
>>1028756
"I thought the plan was to get help from the chef? Oh well, maybe this digitalization will come in handy! Bitluk! Draw us something in the air!"
(Bitluk attempts to draw on the air but the crayon doesn't stick like in the digital realm)
"Damn! That would've been very useful if it had worked. Oh well..."
>>1028758
"Thanks for the tip, lukily I slither silently, getting this boat around might be a challenge tho, any ideas on how we'll do that?"

maybe you can still get some use out of that tank, remove its treads and put them in the boat! surely you can do that

There's no way you'll be able to abscond with the boat in tow, best leave it.

..uhhh, is it alright for all those 2d-bitluks to enter the 'real'-world?

yeah I say we leave the boat

XenobenerHund 2022/04/10(Sun)13:27 No. 1028767 ID: 164e20
File 164962242058.gif - (574.23KB , 1200x901 , pixeluk_trunkshake.gif )

>>1028760
"Okay, what exactly are we going to do with... Oh, looks like someones followed us through... Hiiiii girls."
>>1028763
>>1028764
(Bitluk leaves the safety of the boat in order to give the new lyluks a STRONG and FRIENDLY trunkshake!)
"Well good to know they're friendly, soooooooooooooo, can you help us save our friends?"
"41 73 20 6D 6F 72 65 20 6F 66 20 75 73 20 63 6F 6D 65 2C 20 77 65 20 77 69 6C 6C 20 6F 76 65 72 77 68 65 6C 6D 20 74 68 65 20 6B 69 6C 6C 65 72 73"
"Oh great. Her accent is completely incomprehensible! Well maybe we can use these as a distraction while we sneak away?"

We can use the pixeluks as a swarm to distract the tanks, we can make a move then. Shitty lyluks can't drive anyways, no?

I can translate that.
"As more of us come, we will overwhelm the killers"

They're offering to fight. Take them up on their offer.

>>1028767
Ask them if they know where the Chef live

shame dddluk isn't with you, she was the one who drove here after all. she'd know the way back.
I mean, unless she somehow escaped against all odds and mysteriously reappears.
btw, did anyone of you watch where you were traveling when you drove to the market?

XenobenerHund 2022/04/16(Sat)09:20 No. 1029431 ID: 164e20
File 165012603295.jpg - (314.39KB , 1200x901 , pixeluk_horde.jpg )

>>1029413
"Lyluks from the digital world! Do you know where the chef is?"
"57 68 6f 3f"
"Argh! Waiting for the pervert spirits translation is such a pain!"
>>1029416
(Bitluk saw nothing in the back of the truck but if anyone can escape that situation then it would be dddluk!)
>>1028779
>>1028780
"Finally! Someone to help us against these stinking romans! So uh... what can you pixeluks do exactly?"
(More pixeluks come out of the ruined tank)
"Oh wow, there is a lot of you. Well they say quantity is a quality all it's own! So what exactly is our plan of action here? Just you girls run in and distract while we try to save the others?"
:bitluk: (Bitluk is forming a multi-pronged assault on the mall where she leads the pixeluks into victory)
"Bzzzzzt" (I hunger for more latin blood)
*vibrates*
"Seriously girls, we need a concrete plan, also we still need to defrost nexluk. How are we gonna do this?"

Cover Nexluk in pixeluks and ask them to vibrate. All pixeluks can do that. Probably.

Then once enough pixeluks are here, lead a full frontal assault against the romans!

...Look, we're *pervert* spirits, not tactician spirits. Alright?

Although in my experience when someone suffers frost injuries the best thing is applying body heat through direct skin-contact, so try huddling together with nexluk and see if you can't thaw her that way. If you're lucky your combined body-heat will be enough to melt the ice. Maybe the bitluks can help too.

>>1029434
Sorry, *pixeluks*. Getting terminology messed up.

assemble pixeluks into MEGAPIXELUK and start smashing

XenobenerHund 2022/04/16(Sat)10:52 No. 1029448 ID: 164e20
File 165013156007.jpg - (315.01KB , 1200x901 , pixeluk_heat.jpg )

>>1029433
>>1029434
"Worth a shot! Hey pixeluks! Our friend nexluk is frozen! Is there anything you can do to help us defrost her faster?"
"57 65 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 61 63 74 69 76 61 74 65 20 6f 75 72 20 6c 75 6b 63 6f 69 6e e2 84 a2 20 6d 69 6e 65 72 73 20 74 6f 20 6f 76 65 72 68 65 61 74 2c 20 73 68 65 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 62 65 20 66 72 65 65 20 69 6e 20 73 65 63 6f 6e 64 73 2e"
"Well, hope that was a yes, here she is. Do your thing."
*Begins overheating*
"I can feel the heat from over here. I think it's working! I think..."
"AHHHHHHHHhhh oh, I stopped. Where am I? Weren't we in a closet? Where'd the human go? What are these things holding me so closely?"
"Nexluk! You're alive! You were frozen by the human and we had to stuff you in the inventory dimension."
"Thats okay I guess but where is everyone else?"
(Bitluk says they've been stuck inside the MALL and that they're trying to rescue them, the pixeluks said they would help)
"Oh no! Glad the pixeluks came to help but what exactly..."
"54 72 61 6e 73 66 65 72 72 69 6e 67 20 61 64 6d 69 6e 20 70 72 69 76 69 6c 65 67 65 27 73 20 74 6f 20 6e 65 78 6c 75 6b"

XenobenerHund 2022/04/16(Sat)10:56 No. 1029449 ID: 164e20
File 165013179563.jpg - (319.71KB , 1200x901 , megapixeluk.jpg )

>>1029438
"Woah! I can control it like it's a part of me! This is awesome!"
"Uh, I don't like the fact that that giant lyluk is covered in eyes."
"Bzzzt" (Lyluks should only have 1 eye)
"Thats good! It'll strike fear into the hearts of our enemies! Now, whats the plan? Just barge in and start crushing dudes?"

Wow! Nexluk became the control eye of the pixeluktron! Amazing.

>pixeluktron: continue to accumulate pixeluks and growing in size and power the longer you are on earth

ok guys I just discovered what language pixeluk is saying but im too lazy to explain, she gave you admin privilege

Ok I'll give a summary of the translation.
>>1029431
They don't know who Chef is.
>>1029448
They heated up via... lukcoin mining? I wonder if lukcoin has any value(maybe negative value)... And now Nexluk has admin privileges.

Can you throw a tank?

>>1029452
>>1029486
(P.S. 'Admin Privileges' basically means she's like their boss, for the most part.)

XenobenerHund 2022/04/23(Sat)13:37 No. 1030126 ID: 164e20
File 165074625177.jpg - (486.67KB , 1200x901 , provs_alerted.jpg )

>>1029450
"53 6f 20 6c 6f 6e 67 20 61 73 20 74 68 65 20 70 6f 72 74 61 6c 20 74 6f 20 74 68 65 20 64 69 67 69 74 61 6c 20 77 6f 72 6c 64 20 72 65 6d 61 69 6e 73 20 6f 70 65 6e 2c 20 6d 6f 72 65 20 75 6e 69 74 73 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 63 6f 6e 67 6c 6f 6d 65 72 61 74 65 20"
"Boy, this is getting annoying, hey nexluk! Can you like, take mouth control and talk for them?'
"Uhhh, Maybe? I'm still figuring out how to control this thing. Give me a little bit to try to get used to it."
"41 64 6d 69 6e 20 69 6e 74 65 72 66 61 63 69 6e 67 20 61 74 20 36 25"
>>1029452
>>1029486
>>1029504
"49 6e 73 75 66 66 69 63 69 65 6e 74 20 70 69 78 65 6c 75 6b 73 20 0d 0a 41 63 71 75 69 72 65 20 61 64 64 69 74 69 6f 6e 61 6c 20 70 69 78 65 6c 75 6b 73 20"
"Sorry, not strong or solid enough to lift the tank."
(Bitluk thinks the lukcoins sound like a smart investment, maybe if she could...)
"Oh no, not again, we just got done in by vermin streaming from a hole."
"Don't worry proventus, we've learned our lesson and won't let the infestation fester. Go get proventus, I'll hold them off here."
"Your right proventus, I'll go get proventus to sound the alarm and proventus will come deal with this."
"Thanks proventus. Be quick now! I can't do this without proventus!"
Uh oh, looks like we're gonna have trouble! We need to stop the guards from closing the portal! It's our only hope!"
(You will have to defend the portal to the digital world using a combination of the main lyluks skills, the horde of pixeluks and your own quick wits! Good luck pervert spirits)

>>1030126
Quick, tell them that proventus already came to inspect the hole with proventus and didn't see anything out of the ordinary. No alert should be triggered and business shall be carried as usual, direct orders from proventus.

Tell Proventus that Proventus has already been taken down, and that Proventus and Proventus will not be able to help from here.

Also, can we go over our inventory again? Something may come in handy right now

>>1030126
"So long as the portal to the digital world remains open, more units will conglomerate "
"Admin interfacing at 6%"
"Insufficient pixeluks
Acquire additional pixeluks "

So basically, so long as the portal stays open we'll get more of them, and more is better. Also Bitluk will slowly get better at piloting.

Midgeluk, go suck the soldier attempting to get help.

CHAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!!
BLOOD AND GLORY SISTERS!!!! TRAMPLE THEM UNDER THE STUMPS OF JUSTICE!!!! FOR THE FREEDOM OF INFORMATION(AND LYLUKS)!!!!!

>>1030135
>>1030132
These

XenobenerHund 2022/05/21(Sat)08:13 No. 1033086 ID: 164e20
File 165314599735.gif - (409.64KB , 1200x901 , scared_roman.gif )

>>1030132
"Don't try to fool me! I would never trust a word any of you pests say! Besides, I don't even take orders from proventus! MD is our commander."
>>1030135
"W-what?! No way thats impossible! We already captured the ones who were inside! You're just bluffing!"
"Those ones you captured? Sleeper agents like those giant meanluks. Why by now they've probably already dealt with everyone inside..."
"Oh nonononono not again, I can't lose proventus again! Not after I lost proventus! Proventus is all I have left!"
(He looks like he's about to piss his... skirt)
(While the adults are talking bitluk and eggluk take a look at the inventory)
You have a box of crayons, several tubs of now melted ice cream, an unlabeled bottle of lyluk pills, a lighter which no lyluk can use, red soggy cookies, a pillow, an unhatched egg, unexploded tank shell, cell phone and tablet.
(Sadly with bitluks empty head she is unable to figure out a plan with this junk, maybe you can help her?)

XenobenerHund 2022/05/21(Sat)08:39 No. 1033089 ID: 164e20
File 165314759572.gif - (480.60KB , 1200x901 , midgeluk_chase.gif )

>>1030145
"Bzzzzzzt" (On my way to intercept, he won't know what hit him)
>>1030146
"4f 72 64 65 72 20 72 65 63 65 69 76 65 64 2c 20 63 68 61 72 67 69 6e 67 20 75 6e 64 65 72 77 61 79 2c 20 61 70 70 72 6f 78 69 6d 61 74 65 6c 79 20 35 20 74 75 72 6e 73 20 74 69 6c 6c 20 66 75 6c 6c 20 63 68 61 72 67 65 20 69 73 20 72 65 61 63 68 65 64 2c 20 70 6c 65 61 73 65 20 73 74 61 6e 64 62 79"
"I feel like something big is gonna happen soon!"
(So, heres how this section will work. This will be a top down laneless tower defense style minigame, you have to use anything at your disposal to prevent provs from getting to the portal. If they manage to get there then nexluk will stop them but this will cost pixeluks and slow down the amalgamation. If a prov gets there while you're at 0% you lose. You win once nexluk reaches 100%)
(It'll be a good idea to set up some defenses right now)

oh shit oh shit oh shit uhhhh ok maybe the ice cream can be used to make a slippery road, and uhh, save the tank shell for the boss wave, and uhm, use the crayons to draw ultra-realistic hole(s) that they'll avoid and and and... Feed the guard lyluk pills! he'll become a lyluk that way and can help you, i'm sure of it!!

Give the tablet to pixelluks, maybe they can find some kind of use for it?
Use our single pillow to build a pillow fort (It's still a pillow fort if it's made out of only one pillow, right?)

>>1033089
The pixel-luks said: "Order received, charging underway, approximately 5 turns till full charge is reached, please standby"

XenobenerHund 2022/07/16(Sat)07:45 No. 1038297 ID: 164e20
File 165798274294.gif - (861.53KB , 1200x902 , mall_game_start.gif )

>>1033090
>>1033096
(Ice cream slick and holes will be deployed next round as it has been a while since the last update and people might have different ideas now that you can see the battlefield)
(Bitluk realizes that on closer inspection, the pillow is in fact not a pillow but merely a pillow case stuffed with bricks and thus useless for pillow fort construction. She does however raise her crayon in preparation for proper hole drawing)
"54 68 65 20 62 61 74 74 65 72 79 20 73 65 65 6d 73 20 74 6f 20 62 65 20 64 65 61 64"
"Alright girls, with all of us together dealing with this one guard should be easy! He's right in front of us! Uh... but what exactly do we do?"
(As of right now the only power you have is the pixeluk beam that can destroy one guard but as stated before this drains power and makes the battle take longer. Any other abilities must be discovered through experimentation)

OH NO GIRLS THERE'S A HUGE MONSTER TO YOUR LEFT OH GOD OH FUDGE OH NO OH NO OH NOOO!!!!

The pixelluks said the battery of the tablet is dead ;n;

Ok, Firstly, Have pixl-bot kick the useless pillow at the guard since it's so useless. Maybe some of the uselessness will rub off on the guard and turn him useless too.
Secondly, turn the boat on it's side so it can act as a barricade between the guards and the portal.
Thirdly, Check if any of those tanks over there can be piloted and try to hijack them. Actually on second thought, do that secondly or at the same time as the boat flip.
Fourthly, try to concentrate your shittyness aura on the giant mall-monster statue, maybe you can bring it to life to be on your side.
How's that?

Have eggluk call on the peach meteor.

Quick! Can you use the speedboat while in the real world? If so, you could start it up and let it run into the guard.

>>1038297
Get the nicest Luk to ask that gentle creature on the top right if they want to join the party, or help with those pesky romans in any way.

XenobenerHund 2022/07/16(Sat)12:04 No. 1038314 ID: 164e20
File 165799824031.gif - (2.11MB , 1200x901 , mall_game_turn_1.gif )

>>1038298
"Oh him? He's a statue of the cookie cartels mascot, Cookiezilla, he's been there the entire time. Have you pervert spirits only noticed now?"
>bitluk quickly rushes forward and draws a hole around the guard, learning her lesson from that one time she accidently drew a manhole cover, the guard falls into darkness
>migeluk quickly spreads an ice cream slick before the hole
>>1038299
(Firstly)
"57 68 61 74 20 67 75 61 72 64 3f"
(Secondly)
"Good idea pervert spirit! Pixeluk! Handle that while I'll go do the third thing!"
(Third- Uh fourth? No thirdly)
"Damn! Theres no way a lyluk can pilot one of these in it's current condition! It's way too good! It needs to be shitified!"
(Fourthly now)
(Bitluk tries to gather shitty energy to shitify the statue but the pixeluks provide no power! The shitty aura isn't concentrated enough to shitify anything!)
>>1038306
(Eggluk uses her power of roundness to call down the peachomet! Nothing happens... yet.)
>>1038309
"We're already using it for defenses! Might be a good desperation move tho..."

(2 more guards arrive!)
"By rommel, they really are spilling like maggots out of the digital realm!"
"I told you so! Hurry prov! Time is of the essence! Close that portal!"
"Understood prov!"

(Luktron charge at 60%, 4 turns remaining till full charge)

Quickly, draw a cow on the tank, we know they're distracted by them!

>>1038314
Those guards, pixl-tron! Launch that useless pillow! (maybe the one to your rightmost so hte other one is on a path to the hole)

Shit, could you manage to disable the tanks at least so that the guards can't use em against us? Or at least get the fuel from them so we can light it on fire as a defensive wall- wait... luks can't use the lighter, nvm.

nexluk, wink seductively at the guards so that they're too distracted to notice the slippery trail into the hole

/// EXPERIMENTAL ///
Feed a pixluk some lyluk pills, observe effect.

You lyluks ought to draw a decoy luk on the ice cream, even if it doesn't fully trick the guards into falling into the hole, it'll buy us time.

XenobenerHund 2022/10/23(Sun)12:14 No. 1047317 ID: 164e20
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>>1038315
(Bitluk rushes to recreate her masterpiece on the nearest tank)
"Oh NO, my two favorite things together, I can't... AHHHHHHHHHHHH"
(The guard proceeds to humiliate himself in front of a bunch of innocent lyluks, how sad.)
>>1038316
"Pixeluks, throw the pillow at one of them!"
(Pixeltron chucks the pillow at the nearest guard, braining him against the concrete)
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOooo, Proventus! You monsters!"
*wink*
*vomit*
>>1038317
(Bitluk draws a decoy right in front of the pit hoping it might cause someone to run into it. No one does this turn)

Turn report
1 guard is dead
2 were distracted and do nothing this turn
You used pixeltron so you do not gain any energy this turn
3 more guards arrive
There are 5 guards present
Decoy has a 1 in 9 chance of tricking a guard

"Uh, girls? Are we getting overwhelmed already? This is looking kinda bad!"

Hmm, we'll need something to raise the chance of guards falling into the hole, taunting them could help. Bitluk, can you shitify the decoy further? And someone please shield that eggluk from harm! She seems to be charging up some kind of power!

Bitluk! You must draw a cow with the HYUGEST Bazongas; Udderly ridiculously large boobies; positively HEAVING bahajamas; The grandest of Bazongas; (a cow with very big tits).
This is the most important thing you can do, we already see they can't resist it with the tank, now do your grim duty, my brave luk-warrior, and paint some huge cow-tits to distract the romans.

(also draw a sign ponting down into the hole with the text 'bit tittied cow wifes down here' when you can. Don't worry, we'll help guide your writing with ~psychic-from-beyond-the-grave-ghost-powers OOooOOOoOOoo~ it's like a ouija, board it'll definitively work. Or just draw a big titted cow, and also tanks, with an arrow pointing down into the hole.)


Nexluk, keep propositioning them, it's at least distracting them, if it stops working, try going lewder, or yet (faking) flirting with them. shake your tail at them if you must. (if they cover their eyes it means they can't see and are more easily tricked into traps.)

Coordinate your efforts so you don't affect the same guards


Migeluk, how goes the tank duty? If you can't do anything with it alone then surprise attack the distracted guards and take them out. (but stay safe, don't risk your life.)


Eggluk, stare at the guards *menacingly*. Let your fury BURN in your gaze.


Pixel-luks, form a barricade as you march to the pixltron, let none reach the portal.


Pixltron, keep charging up!

Ok, i think that's everyone.
Boy this fight is so tense it makes the seconds feel like weeks! :sweaty: Don't give up though, luks! You can do this!! *motivational buff added*

What happens if you try to plug/throw that weird thing on the rightmost Luk inventory into the pixelluks? Feels like it's worth a try!

XenobenerHund 2022/11/13(Sun)10:20 No. 1049151 ID: 164e20
File 166836361151.gif - (748.07KB , 1200x901 , mall_game_scene_4.gif )

>>1047319
(Bitluk quickly trys to draw an even shittier lyluk but with all the lyluk drawing she's been doing the lyluk is actually better than the previous!)
(It has no affect on the likelihood of the guards falling into the hole)
>>1047331
(Pixeluk plugs the ipad into herself) "4f 76 65 72 63 68 61 72 67 65 20 64 65 74 65 63 74 65 64 2c 20 45 78 70 6c 6f 73 69 6f 6e 20 69 6d 6d 69 6e 65 6e 74 20 6e 65 78 74 20 74 75 72 6e 20"
>>1047320
(Bitluk does her best to draw a cow with some huge udders, and she succeeds! The guards are sweating and looking in this direction. Chance to fall into the hole is doubled per turn)
"Hey boys! Look over here!" *Twerks*
"Oh god no... Proventus! Avert your eyes! Quic- erp!"
(Two more guards have been disabled this turn, but it's unlikely using this trick will work again.)
"I don't think I can do this on my own over here guys! This tank is just too complicated for one luk to shittify!"

"41 20 6c 61 73 20 62 61 72 72 69 63 61 64 61 73 21" (The pixeluks form a barricade, this turn pixeltron is protected from energy draining)

Turn report
Rolling dice, one or two means a guard falls down the pit
You rolled a seven so no guards take the bait
3 guards are distracted and do nothing this turn
2 guards attack
1 is blocked by the barricade but with get through it by next turn
1 charges and kicks over bitluk
"Bitluk! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You monsters!"
Bitluk is disabled for one turn
4 more guards arrive
There are now 9 guards, 8 active

>>1049151
Quick Pixeluk, throw that tablet at the guards!

Midgeluk start succing those attacking guards dry, when you're done head over and help shittifying the tank,
nexluk head over the help shittyfing the tank, utilizing your eXtreme slipperyness to slam into those guards on the way

Eggluk, those attacking guards are thinking lewd thoughts
SILENCE THEM

then head over to the tank too and help shittify it.


Eggluk, nexluk, midgeluk, assist migeluk with the tank; blow those guards to smithereens (also help bitluk up on the way over)



(also, look, it's a tiny emote-luk: 'jh7 <You can do it!)' Did you hear gals? She is cheering you on! Emote-luk believes in you)

We already tried enough with the distraction route, we can't accept any big casualties so someone should heal bitluk with a bloody cookie. One of the pixeluks could use the vomit left by the guard, try splashing them with it!

Quick! Demand to know why they killed that cookie uy who was asking for help with the tank before! Demand it! Do not go away without an explanation!

Also, tell Proventus that Proventus said Proventus thinks building roads and columns is not poggers.

XenobenerHund 2022/11/19(Sat)09:43 No. 1049620 ID: 7c8622
File 166887982202.gif - (1.87MB , 1200x901 , mall_game_scene_5.gif )

>>1049152
"43 61 6e 6e 6f 74 20 64 69 73 63 6f 6e 6e 65 63 74 20 61 6e 64 20 6d 61 69 6e 74 61 69 6e 20 6f 76 65 72 63 68 61 72 67 65 2e 20 49 20 77 69 6c 6c 20 73 61 63 72 69 66 69 63 65 20 6d 79 73 65 6c 66 20 66 6f 72 20 79 6f 75 2e 20 52 65 6d 65 6d 62 65 72 20 6d 65 2e"
(Pixel charges the guards and explodes *BOOM*)
"Noooooooo! They got proventus, proventus and proventus! We'll get revenge on you!"
"I don't even understand what just happened."
>>1049166
(A cookie is given to bitluk. She is fully healed!)
(However, the vengeful spirit of the cookie guard these cookies where made out of have infected bitluk! She has gone berserk and will no longer follow orders, doing whatever she wants. Luckily she takes greatly reduce damage in this state.)
(Migeluk notices the statue move when you give bitluk the cookie)
"Ebrbrbrbrbrbrbrbr)
(Bitluk charges the nearest guard and hits just hard enough to tumble him into the hole)
"Ahhhhhhhhₕₕₕₕₕₕ..."
>>1049156
(Eggluk requires concentration or else it might miss. Soon.)
"I might be slippery but I can't get out! It's uh... deeply connected to me."
"Dammit! We can't get even a single luk to come over and help? We really need a savior right now, Midgeluk! You're our only hope!"

XenobenerHund 2022/11/19(Sat)09:57 No. 1049621 ID: 7c8622
File 166888067379.jpg - (217.55KB , 1200x947 , Midgeluk_feast.jpg )

>>1049620
*Brrrrrrrrrrrrzt* (I have succeeded in intercepting the guard, although it seems it was in vain)
*bzzzzzzzzzzrt* (However, i have gained their power and am returning much stronger than I was before)
(Midgeluk returns next turn!)

Turn report
Rolling dice, one or two means a guard falls down the pit.
You rolled a one so you succesfully trick a guard into running straight into it!
5 guards are killed this turn.
3 guards attack.
1 tries to wrench the other from the tank and succeeds! +1 guard next turn.
1 charges and kicks over bitluk! Bitluk takes greatly reduced damage and gets back up.
1 charges through the now weakened barrier and reaches pixeltron. Pixeltron is forced to spend it's turn squishing the guard and doesn't charge this turn.
5 more guards arrive.
There are now 9 guards, 9 active.

nooo, pixeluk!!!
>"C a n n o t d i s c o n n e c t a n d m a i n t a i n o v e r c h a r g e . I w i l l s a c r i f i c e m y s e l f f o r y o u . R e m e m b e r m e ."

Midgeluk, head over to migeluk and help her shittify the tank, hopefully with your newfound strength you'll be more than enough. Feel free to knock over some guards on the way if it won't slow you down.

Eggluk, keep concentrating, aim for the highest concentration of guards if you can.

Bitluk, You're doing great! Attagirl!

Extremely-Welldrawn luk, Help us turn the tide of the battle, trip up some soldiers! Defend the motherbot!

And someone throw a cookie at the guards, see what the statue does.


Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, and Proventus, There are cow wives down that hole. with huge titties,, VERY huge, and very much milk-filled. They need a big, strong man, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, and Proventus, to come down there and give them strong and mighty children. Can't you hear them, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, Proventus, and Proventus? Calling out for their Hero?

Give cookies to statue in exchange for its help.

Show the statue an alluring cookie then throwit at the legionaires.

And rain down the blood that midgeluk drank on top of the remaining ones. Proventus was much loved and it will make them sad.

XenobenerHund 2022/12/25(Sun)09:43 No. 1052563 ID: 7c8622
File 167199020320.png - (1.19MB , 2000x1502 , lyluks.png )

"S-stop fighting everyone. It's christmas! Yay."
"It's true! He even freed us! It's a christmas miracle!"
"God dammit MD! Really? We gotta have christmas here with these things? After-"
"Come now prov, thats saturnalia to you. Isn't upending the social part of it?"
"Ehhhhhh whatever, sure as hell beats dying I guess."
And so in the middle of battle between the romans and the lyluks there was a christmas/saturnalia truce called. Lyluk served roman and roman served lyluk. Many a friend came to join the festivities. There was scubluk out of the service, there was fatluk who had a large surface. There was elfluk who was giving out gifts, working for wintersluk who made the lists. There was luktron who was dispensing borgers, on top of turgluk, a proper punishement for turgers. And on the left there was some wonderful art from silly zealot! Depicting some provs (who are secretly helots). Brainluk is there, sipping on her pepsi, as well as ermiluk (who if you couldn't tell is very sexy). True bitluk opens her present while fake bitluk is merely content. Last but not least, far off in the back, there is a sweetie making lyluk grafitti!
To all who bared with with over the years this quest has been running, I wish you all a merry christmas/saturnalia and a happy new year!

XenobenerHund 2023/02/26(Sun)06:28 No. 1056993 ID: 7c8622
File peach_strike.webm - (3.70MB )

>>1052563
"I-it's so great to get together with friends like this..."
:pilluk: "Yeah! On a day like this even enemies like us can still get together and enjoy the holiday cheer!"
"So sad it has to end so soon, it's already getting dark..."
"Wait, it's not supposed to get dark yet, why is OH MY ZEUS OR WHATEVER! WHAT IS THAT?"
(Eggluk remembers she called down the peach to smite her enemies but now they are all right underneath it!)
"WHAT DID YOU THINGS DO!!? I TOLD YOU MD WE SHOULD'VE KILLED THEM WHEN WE HAD THE CHANCE!"
"LYLUKS SCATTER< IT'S OUR ONLY HOPE OF_"
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
Thus ends shittiest lyluk quest.

>>>1057007
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