The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)00:12 No. 839448 ID: eda54c
File 150891554913.png - (14.37KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man Hears Something and is Woken from his .png )

SOMEONE IS IN YOUR HOME

>>839448
Arright, grab your pillow and prepare to do battle!

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)00:16 No. 839451 ID: eda54c
File 150891577760.png - (18.68KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man is Spooked!.png )

YOU are "The Hif Man" and you KNOW YOU JUST FUCKING KNOW that there is an intruder in your home!

It sounds like the intruder is... well he's certainly somewhere.

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)00:24 No. 839453 ID: eda54c
File 150891624661.png - (17.00KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man is FUCKING READY.png )

>>839449
way ahead of you

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)00:37 No. 839457 ID: eda54c
File 150891706424.png - (37.22KB , 686x720 , The Hif Home.png )

Since you are unable to tell exactly where the noise came from, you're gonna have to systematically check EVERY ROOM before you are satisfied.

You think up a mental map of the place (a little fuzzy because you almost never leave your room these days)

Where do you look first?

> Enter BATHROOM

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)01:30 No. 839465 ID: eda54c
File 150892024130.png - (22.28KB , 686x720 , The Hif Bathroom.png )

>>839462
YOU are in your BATHROOM

There is nothing here, as you never use it (due to the plumbing in your toilet being out of whack)

You look at your toilet, noticing the hole on the part of the toilet where water fills up that isn't the bowl (you have NO idea what that is called)

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)01:41 No. 839467 ID: eda54c
File 150892087988.png - (14.65KB , 686x720 , The Hif Toilet Up Close.png )

YOU did this to me...

The Hif Toilet 2017/10/25(Wed)01:44 No. 839469 ID: eda54c
File 150892106498.png - (94.87KB , 686x720 , The Hif Toilet is Mad at You.png )

RATHER THAN HIRE SOMEONE WITH HANDS TO OPEN MY LID, YOUR HAIRY, SHITTY ASSHOLE RUBBED AGAINST MY FACE AND NOW LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)08:10 No. 839504 ID: eda54c
File 150894423686.png - (15.03KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man is Still Asleep.png )

...

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)08:12 No. 839505 ID: eda54c
File 150894433943.png - (14.37KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man Forgot his Toilet is a Demon.png )

YOU FORGOT YOUR TOILET IS A DEMON

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)08:26 No. 839508 ID: eda54c
File 150894516194.png - (19.84KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man is Ready to Rumble.png )

Gripping your pillow with your teeth, you burst into your bathroom with a frantically angry (and groggy!) intensity.

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)08:31 No. 839510 ID: eda54c
File 150894546230.png - (27.61KB , 686x720 , His Dream Gave Him Foresight.png )

HISSSSSSSSSSSS

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)08:41 No. 839511 ID: eda54c
File 150894610810.png - (40.75KB , 686x720 , The Hif Demon Toilet is Dead.png )

YOU helicopter spin as you enter the bathroom, and fling your pillow with enough velocity to not only demolish the toilet demon's porcelain skull, but also go straight through the wall behind it!

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)08:47 No. 839513 ID: eda54c
File 150894645196.png - (20.67KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man's Bloodied Face.png )

You've actually been meaning to do that for a week now, not that the toilet being a demon changed you having to shit and piss in the back yard for the last two months, it's been pretty annoying hearing the fucker in there constantly talking shit at you through the door.

The Hif Man 2017/10/25(Wed)09:09 No. 839514 ID: eda54c
File 150894779565.png - (36.59KB , 686x720 , The Hif Home.png )

YOU remember in your false awakening dream that you heard someone in the house. Might as well still check things out despite now being unarmed (good thing you are a tripple black belt in tae kwon do!).

>>839514
Plant room it is.

The Hif Man 2017/10/26(Thu)08:48 No. 839848 ID: eda54c
File 150903291977.png - (15.22KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man in His Room.png )

YOU are in your room again, and you are happy about that. Recently, your main goal after leaving the safety of your room is to make it back as quickly as possible. It's been like this ever since you lost the ability to shoot lasers from your eyes (that was a real downer!).

There is no furnishings in here, as you own no furniture beyond what came with the house because you are unemployed. You were unemployed when you moved in. You were unemployed before you moved in. You wonder if you'll stay unemployed forever, heck, being unemployed certainly got you this far, I mean shit you got a whole house to yourself! You are your own boss.

The Hif Man 2017/10/26(Thu)08:59 No. 839851 ID: eda54c
File 150903356267.png - (25.53KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man in The Hif Hallway.png )

YOU float into the hallway outside of your room after stalling for a little bit of time.

From here you can check your closet, or exit into the hallway which leads to the rest of your house. Or you can go back into your room, which you really really really want to do but don't necessarily have to because finding whoever is in your home if there even is someone in your home is pretty important despite your want to just go back into your room.

what do YOU do?

start to FURIOUSLY masturbate with the RAGE OF A THOUSAND SUNS

The Hif Man 2017/10/31(Tue)09:52 No. 841311 ID: eda54c
File 150946872613.png - (15.40KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man Gets an Erection.png )

>>840014

The Hif Man 2017/10/31(Tue)09:54 No. 841312 ID: eda54c
File 150946887276.png - (15.35KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man's Penis Isn't Working Right.png )

>>841311

The Hif Man 2017/10/31(Tue)09:59 No. 841313 ID: eda54c
File 150946917661.png - (26.13KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man Doesn't Have Hands To Masturbate .png )

YOU realize that you do not have hands to masturbate with!

no shit! That's why you had that fleshlight installed in the wall.

ow... your dick is literally broken.... ow that hurts just think about it going at a 90 degree angle while stiff (how else is it not just dangling straight down)

The Hif Man 2017/11/02(Thu)09:31 No. 841914 ID: eda54c
File 150964031310.png - (18.17KB , 686x720 , In Front of the Plant Room.png )

>>841349
Oh yeah! That's in the plant room.
>>841364
My penis is NOT broken thank you very much my penile bone just doesn't extend out all the way...

YOU make your way to the PLANT ROOM, not noticing anything strange in the hallway connecting the hallway you were just in. And...

The Hif Man 2017/11/02(Thu)09:38 No. 841919 ID: eda54c
File 150964071048.png - (18.92KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man Sees That His Plant Is Gone.png )

HOLY SHIT YOUR PLANT IS GONE

S... Soylent Green... your best friend. Was STOLEN IN YOUR SLEEP. YOUR PRIVACY AND GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HOUSE PLANT HAS BEEN VIOLATED.

The Hif Man 2017/11/02(Thu)09:41 No. 841921 ID: eda54c
File 150964087363.png - (105.83KB , 686x720 , THE HIF MAN IS ANGRY.png )

AND THIS MAKE YOU ANGRY

>>841921
Kill the thief, then the plant, then yourself. It's the only way to be sure this can never happen again.

QUICK! To the Hif-Cave!!

Realease wild bunnys into the house to sniff out the madman who stole your plant

go into a blood rage and rip and tear through everything until you find and destroy the intruder

The Hif Man 2017/11/06(Mon)11:04 No. 842930 ID: eda54c
File 150999506939.png - (14.37KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man Answers The Door.png )

WHO'S THERE

The Hif Man 2017/11/06(Mon)11:05 No. 842931 ID: eda54c
File 150999515870.png - (14.60KB , 686x720 , The Hif Man Is Alone.png )

Nobody.

The Hif Man 2017/11/06(Mon)11:08 No. 842932 ID: eda54c
File 150999532875.png - (20.24KB , 686x720 , The Hif Cave.png )

YOU instantly recognize the smell of this void you are sitting in and realize that you are in The Hif Cave, which you dug into the earth (and hid the entrance to in the plant room with a fleshlight keyhole to open it).

You feel like you are not alone.

>>842932
EXAMINE first item we see.

"The Hif Man"'s BIG ADVENTURE.... ....PART ONE??!??!? (end) The Hif Man 2017/11/14(Tue)09:21 No. 845040 ID: eda54c
File 151068011330.png - (4.28KB , 686x720 , A Tiny Hif Man In A Big Room.png )

>>842942
haha LOL FOOLED YOU!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME!!!

BOOM

did you enjoy our spoo000o0ooky session with "The Hif Man"?

youguysalreadyknowhatsupman if you didn't get your fill of "The Hif Man", go check out some of the other quests on this website, check out that wiki, if you enjoyed this thread give your monitor a thumbs up, if you really enjoyed it share it to your tumblr so somebody else can see, if you got questions or comments I want you to throw them down, otherthanthat I'm comin' to ya with "The Hif Man", good posting, aaah