Serpens 2017/10/12(Thu)11:42 No. 836208 ID: c88e6d
File 150783377284.png - (102.14KB , 800x600 , Gee-Ma.png )

Without anything else to do, I head down to the local Bus Cru's stop, hoping to barter my way on board for a ticket down town. However, as the Warbus rolls up to the stop, I notice it looks a bit more scorched and bloodstained than usual.

As the door opens, alarmingly, I can see one of the Meta-Lifeforms on my case-list: Gee-Ma, the Hive Bandit, That Scary Thing With Acid For Blood, Space Robber Extraordinaire, and a slew of other titles she makes up on each appearance.

The alien in the drivers' seat grins at me, giving a teasing look as she turns to face me. I add 'indecent exposure' to her list of offenses as she speaks. "Well hi there, Officer Expendable! Can I take you for a ride~?"

I wonder if innuendos are a crime. And this could potentially be good or bad. Gee-Ma has been informed of who I am and what my job is by mail, meaning it's unlikely she'll actively attempt to harm me, but that doesn't mean she'll necessarily do what I want.

I'm also already headed for Atomic Mask, but I could switch to Gee-Ma since she's here.

What should I do? Take Gee-Ma's offer and get a lift to Atomic Mask's turf? Settle in with Gee-Ma instead? I have no idea what to do.

>>836208
well she might even help you on the case tell her she is getting one small freebie and is gonna help you take down atomic mask "NOW DRIVE YOU CRAZY NAKED LADY!"

Shoot one Gee-Ma for every incidence of insubordination.

>>836208
"Officer Expendable"? That's a bit rude, isn't it?

Right now we're just trying to deal with the pink beam thing, right? What do you expect to happen if you settle in, then?

Take Gee-Ma's offer

If Gee-Ma tries anything funny, creep them out with the TRAIL SNACKS

Serpens 2017/10/12(Thu)14:46 No. 836233 ID: c88e6d
File 150784480347.png - (35.43KB , 800x600 , Officer Expendable.png )

If I settle in, I switch from dealing with Atomic Mask to dealing with Gee-Ma[b], and I will likely spend [b]a very long period of time dealing with it. Gee-Ma and Atomic Mask are entirely unlike... that plant back at Headquarters. As fully sapient Meta-Lifeforms capable of true communication, they have significantly more complex daily activities and regimens.

It's all down to you what I do now, voices in my head.

Take up Gee-ma's offer for a ride

Dangling our TRAIL SNACKS of creep factor in front of Gee-Ma will surely work their magic if necessary

Take the skuttle bus.

Serpens 2017/10/12(Thu)16:04 No. 836249 ID: c88e6d
File 150784947625.png - (23.12KB , 800x600 , Achievement!.png )

Accepting Gee-Ma's ride, I decide to take all the suggestions offered before that at the same time.

Calmly, I say, "My name is not expendable." Before lifting my shotgun and firing from the hip, striking one of Gee-Ma's body's in the stomach with a hefty beanbag. The gun goes in the driver's face next. "Now drive you crazy naked lady." I say, perfectly deadpan as I turn away and take a seat next to another Gee-Ma.

It's extremely awkward. I take out my bag of trailmix and offer it to Gee-Ma. "You want some?" I ask, munching on it while staring at her. "Oh god what did I even do." It mumbles, squirming back.

>>836249
Now though.... It's going to take like half an hour to get across the city. Uhm.... Hmmmm. Perhaps I shouldn't have shot the hivemind criminal and then gotten on board a bus it's driving. Especially since one of them is now sitting on my shoulders. I am eternally grateful it's one of the ones wearing pants. "Where am I even driving?" Asks the body on my head, drumming its claws on my scalp as it does so. I realize that as I had to put down my gun to get my trailmix and open the bag, the Gee-Ma next to me is now holding it and has stolen all the shells. There's a faint buzz from the back of the bus, and I realize that one of them has stolen my baton as well. This isn't good. Those come out of my wages.

>>836249
"you stole a bus now you get to help me take down someone throwing lasers around or I can stay with you all~ weeeeeeeeek~ longggggggg~." With a big ol creepy smile

Do a quick spin to roll skuts off your body and brandish TRAIL SNACKS and KNIFE in protection

>>836256
>>836252
"You are taking me to atomic Mask and I am going to need those shells and shotgun back you can keep the baton for now."

>>836256
Maybe something like this.

Corrections Cwest! Now in Krita! Serpens 2017/10/15(Sun)11:58 No. 836867 ID: c88e6d
File 150809391559.png - (249.19KB , 800x600 , Gee-Ma Creeped Out.png )

I grin broadly, giving my creepiest smile to the alien as their nearest body shuffles backward. "You stole this bus, now you get to help me take down whoever was responsible for that laser this morning."

The Hivemind tries to act tough, the one on my head leaning forward to look into my eyes. "That so?" Asks the upside down body. "And why am I gonna do that for one weirdo clone?"

"Because if you don't, I'm going to follow you around. All. Week. Long." Gee-Ma pauses... then sighs. "I swear to Me, you clones get weirder every day. FINE. If you'll stop acting like such a flake, we'll help you."

FOLLOWER ACQUIRED: GEE-MA!
Gee-Ma is a dangerous alien meta-lifeform, possibly from another dimension, possessed of numerous small bodies numbering on the order of a couple hundred. While generally she sticks to salvage, dumpster-diving, petty theft and stealing cable, fairly regularly she groups up her bodies to pull 'heists' to gain capital and improve the quality of life for her bodies.

Gee-Ma's Inventory:
My shotgun and beanbag shells
My stun baton
Me
My trailmix
One Cru War-Bus (Slightly damaged)
Three hundred wallets and assorted petty cash
One tactical thermonuclear warhead Hahaha nothing to see here guys
Several dozen small-caliber fire arms and ammunition
Several hundred makeshift melee weapons
Internet access and numerous smart phones and tablets

Gee-Ma's color when speaking is now GREEN.

>>836867
Alright, now... When we get to Atomic Mask, how do I deal with him?

Do I go in guns blazing with Gee-Ma to back me up? Shall I just walk up and try to negotiate with the guy? Should I phone him in advance?

>>836870
good idea to phone him in advance to check if that was intentional or not and if he just needs help which requires not Gee-ma or if its intentional and requires Gee-ma. talk to him like you are concerned for him.

>>836867
>Hahaha nothing to see here guys
Too late, we already saw it!

What're you gonna do with that tactical thermonuclear warhead?

>>836870
Those three things in reverse order.

Well, okay, that probably precludes "guns blazing" but something similarly aggressive.

Aggressively phone in advance

Aggressive Phoneworks Serpens 2017/10/15(Sun)13:22 No. 836898 ID: c88e6d
File 150809893319.png - (104.08KB , 800x600 , Calling Atomic Mask.png )

>>836890
I pull out my phone and speed-dial 3. Ever since Atomic Mask hopped out of one of the old War Craters and started alternately proclaiming itself the greatest hero and supervillain of our time, the Corrections Department has been keeping tabs on him.

After a couple of drops to the generic voicemail box, someone finally picks up the line. "FOOL! YOU DARE INTERRUPT THE MIGHTY ATOMIC MASK AT THE COMPLETION OF HIS LATEST CAPER?"

I can tell he didn't bother to look at who was calling. Nevertheless, I respond aggressively. "Atomic Mask, I swear to the tank I was decanted from if you had something to do with that beam this morning I am going to shove that mask so far into your ethereal backside you're going to be coughing out cheap plastic and cliches for the next eight months."

There's a pause, and Atomic Mask finally speaks. "W-what did I do?" He asks. I think she might be crying. "I am coming over to help out. Stay in your apartment."

Anything I should say before I hang up?

>>836876
Pffft, it's a secret. Go ask the Dis-Thread if you really wanna know.

>>836898
say nothing. Take 4 Gee-ma in with you to meet them.

The message has more than likely gotten through.

Prepare trail snacks in case anything funny happens.

>>836899
Ok, if you say so.

>>836898
Yeah let's just go in.

>>836898
"And don't do anything stupid. My friends would be sorely disappointed in you." That should keep them still until you get there.

Corrections Cwest: Update Another Day Serpens 2017/10/16(Mon)07:31 No. 837152 ID: c88e6d
File 150816429433.png - (35.06KB , 800x600 , Corrections Cdoor.png )

"Don't do anything stupid. My friends would be very disappointed." "Wait, what fr-" I promptly hang up, further confusing Atomic Mask. Being aggressive feels weird.

Still, with Trailmix armed- Wait, apparently Gee-Ma wants to try some. Dangit, now I'm out. Oh well, at least I have a new customer.

...With my BADGE prepared and four Gee-Ma shanghaied into being my backup, we arrive at Atomic Mask's hideout. It's effectively a hollowed out pile of brick-rubble from an earlier iteration of Naked City, sealed with a heavy steel door with an oldschool viewslot.

Mercifully, there is also a doorbell next to it. I hit the button and the slot opens up about thirty seconds later, revealing Atomic Mask's atomic mask. It doesn't actually have an atom on it. Apparently AM can't draw that well, or it just slides of his ethereal form when he tries. Either way, he looks a little worried.

"Y-yes officer?" He asks, shuddering a little as one of the Gee-Mas behind me does something with its tongue, the one on my shoulders brandishing my baton.

"I've come about your wiki-vandalism, AM." The very words seem to make him freeze up in horror.

Anything else I should say to him? Or should I just try and kick in the door? I could also just yank him through the slot. His corporeal parts are very small.

>>837152
[The update isn't actually another day. I was trying to pun and failed.]

>>837152
come on out AM we can do this the fun way or the extremely violent way.

>>837152
He seems frightened enough that you might be able to get him to come out by just asking, even if that's not as fun.

Threaten to split the Atom. You've got a bunch of Gee-Mas here that can pull him in every direction.

Don't trust any of Atom's excuses for staying inside, they'll make them all up. Stay on the aggro and ask to come out.

>>837152
Try to get Gee-ma to play the good cop to your bad cop

Corrections Cwest: Correct Answer Serpens 2017/10/16(Mon)13:37 No. 837203 ID: c88e6d
File 150818625233.png - (49.20KB , 800x600 , Atomic Mask Unveiled.png )

"We can do this the hard way or the brutally violent way, Atom Mask." I say, glaring coldly at the door-slot. "Get out here right now before you suffer an induced fission event."

"W-what?" asks Atomic Mask.

"I'll break you in half."

The Meta-Lifeform stares blankly at me for a moment, then the door-panel slides shut. There's a pause, and then the door opens, revealing a very frightened looking Atomic Mask, mask currently hovering at around a foot below my head height. "pleasedonthurtme" she whimpers.

Alright, I have completely and utterly broken their ego into submission. Now what?

>>837202
I hop off the big lug's back, meanwhile, and take A-M by the hand, smiling at it before baring my teeth at 9872.01, tail lashing. "What the hell is your problem, .01? You're out of of control!" "What-" He tries to ask, before I cut him off. "Shut it, .01, or I'll have you riding desk duty until the next Ice Age!" He tries again,"But August is eight mo-""Shut the hell up, officer, before I put that badge where the sun don't shine! Come on, A-M. Let's get you inside so you can tell me all about it." Bewildered, the quasi-ethereal being is quietly dragged indoors, completely stunned while four or five of me slip inside to case the join and make myself at home.

Anything in particular I should ask?

>>837203
well I guess this is Gee-ma time now just keep sneering in the back and occasionally spit on the ground.
Gee-ma ask about the giant laser beams earlier today and ask them to spill their thoughts on it.

>>837203
>Now what?
Why are you asking? Isn't it obvious? You're supposed to ask about the laser!

>Anything in particular I should ask?

How to win the heart of Officer Expendable

Let's see Gee-ma's skills for a while, let her handle Atom Mask

Awww Sh*t Serpens 2017/10/17(Tue)12:47 No. 837425 ID: c88e6d
File 150826965490.png - (88.45KB , 800x600 , Officer Sadspendable.png )

Uhm... Guys... I don't think she's coming back... I think I was maybe too 'bad cop'.

Am I a bad person?

I didn't join the force to hurt people, I joined to help people to be better... Well, strictly speaking I didn't 'join', I was born into paid slavery, but still.

Maximum Overupdate Gee-Ma 2017/10/17(Tue)12:52 No. 837427 ID: c88e6d
File 150826995626.png - (204.94KB , 800x600 , Gee-Ma Plots.png )

"There, there... It'll be alright." I say to Atomic Mask while following along behind him. "Let's get you a nice drink and you can forget all about Ole .01." Atomic Mask sighs, looking upset and distracted still, which another of me carefully moves through the perimeter looking for anything valuable. Another still carefully starts working on building an entry tunnel, while another puts some tea on for the depressed Meta-Lifeform. "I just... I just don't understand why he's so mad." Says Atomic Mask "I've just been sitting at home browsing 3VTropes all day..." How interesting... And by the way, >>837218 , I already know that. Ask me for tips later. Alright, I've infiltrated Atomic Mask's house. Should I keep up the "Good Cop" thing while I loot the place, actually interrogate him on what he knows, try to figure out what caused the blast this morning, tell him to stop getting in editing wars, or try and get him to enhance my fusion warhead into a Hellebore Shaped Blast Charge?

All of the above. Hellooo Gee-Ma, you're a skut.

>>837425
It's okay, what actually happened is you unlocked Gee-Ma's potential as a cop. Yeah.

>>837429
This sounds good.

>>837427
Clearly, explore their browser history. See if their story checks out, of course.

Serpens 2017/10/18(Wed)12:28 No. 837681 ID: c88e6d
File 150835493036.png - (187.43KB , 800x600 , Gee-Ma Takes actions.png )

>>837433
Well, to be honest, I don't think Gee-Ma really WANTS to be a cop... She's actually quite notorious as one of the most devious living creatures in the city, only second to an attention-starvedKAU in terms of manipulative and dominant tendencies... But if you guys think she might be, I'm willing to let her give it a shot.

>>837429
Waaaaaaaay ahead of ya. I follow Atomic Mask into his bedroom and sit down with him while I hop onto his computer and check his browser history. A lot of erotica here, most of it involving female ghosts being banged by materials. I think we've found Atomic Mask's preferred kink~ She's also running some kind of interactive fiction on an image board, and he's got a fair number of fun tabs open. Huh, according to his history logs, he has indeed been on here all day. Guess it really was someone else.

Nevertheless, I pat him on the back while I also enter the room, handing him a cup of tea while smiling up at him. He nods, a little disconcerted, seemingly suspicious but still unaware of my digging a secret entrance under her living room. "It's okay to be upset." I say, distracting him while I leave the room to gather with myself and continue organizing her CD collection. ".01 was way out of line... But there WAS a strange energy blast in your color today. Do you know anyone who might be able to copy your powers or amplify them?" Atomic mask looks glad of the chance to speak. I twitch a little, a particularly fine Breeder couple of me having fun a mile or so away. "Um... well..." She says, feeling a little more at home as I give her a friendly smile. I should really try and bang A-M some time. They're cute when they're not in full-on LARP mode. "I've been in-doors all day... but earlier I saw on the news that Ajay and some big lady were going on a date down-town... Maybe that's something to do with it?" Ajay? Figures that oversized heap of iridescence would be involved with that spine-ravaging hussy. I nods, giving my cutest smile before coughing. "Hmmmm... Thank you, Atomic Mask! You really are a great hero-villain to help me so much... But can you provide me one more piece of assistance? It's pretty secret stuff... You see, I need you to enhance this nuclear explosive into a shaped charge while magnifying its blast yield." Atomic Mask looks stunned. "That would.... you know my powers make nuclear reactions unstable, right? And a shaped explosion like that... that would probably generate an even more dangerous beam than this morning." I nod, holding out the charge. "Please, A-M? A lot of people are gonna get hurt if I can't set this charge up right." The ethereal hero nods, looking uncomfortable, before accepting the charge from another of me that enters the room. "Alright..." He says, holding a hand above the warhead. "Firing a MAXIMUM OVERCHARGE BEAM!" She cries, channeling all her energy into... a three inch wide continuous beam. Slowly, cracks form in the warhead's casing while the tip is gradually eroded away, and internally the warhead's components begin to transmute. After fifteen minutes, Atomic Mask ceases her beam and wipes his forehead. "Phew... Uhm... Anything else?"

I smile, one of me taking my property away through the newly built escape tunnel. "Well... Atomic Mask... Tell you what... Why don't we get to know one another more... intimately? You are a helpless ethereal lady surrounded by a gang of raucous material monsters after all~" Atomic mask flushes hard, starting to stutter before I press my closest self's lips to hers. You'll give us some privacy now~

Hmmmmm.... Gee-Ma's been in there an awfully long time... She just sent me a text saying, "Ajay and Khozos are doing it downtown." Not sure what that means.... I guess I should head back to the bus and see about going there. Should I call for backup, or just go with Gee-Ma? I don't really have any equipment, and while Ajay I think I can handle, I've never met Khozos before.

>>837681
To the park! and by that I mean the bus!

Well that certainly is kinda convenient that both of the remaining suspects are in the same place at the same time.

I guess go ahead and go with Gee-Ma? Presumably if it's obvious that you really need backup you'll have a chance to call for it.

Re-confiscate your equipment and do it solo.

Serpens 2017/10/19(Thu)19:56 No. 838164 ID: c88e6d
File 150846816481.png - (87.47KB , 800x600 , Corrections Cwest Thread One End.png )

Alright! It's time to go downtown and-

[b]THREAD ONE END! GREAT JOB![b]

MISSION SCORES LISTED!

NO TOZOL POINTS EARNED!

YOU HURT A LOT OF FEELINGS!

ALL GEAR LOST!

0 DEMONIC INVASIONS HALTED!

1 PLANT BEFRIENDED!

1 PLAN DUPED INTO PERFORMING!

1 ATOMIC MASK NEUTRALIZED!