Fetishes: furry and grimdark.

Hair is Turquoise.

pink fuax-hawk, 'boris' russian style face, -5'

I want a 99 foot penis.

Okay we totally need to get multiple prehensile tendrils sprouting off a main thicker tendril that we can wrap them around when not in use. We can also use it to play on the 2nd player controller.

I want one a mighty 3.6" long, 6" in circumference, with a mayo fetish.

Fetishes: furry
Hair: brown
Face: MANLY SLAVIC CHIN AND BOXER'S NOSE
Body: Stocky but strong
Dong: 5 and a half in
Personality: Russian Guyovich

A black guy.



That is all.

Furry russian with a 5.5 inch dick awww yeah

Changing my vote to Furry Zangief. He's a bear.

>>80520
Furry Zangief sounds like a hilarious idea. I second it.

Furry Zangief with a huge dick

Hair - pink, bishi, long
Face - Effeminate
Genetals - Hermaphroditic, cut, 9 inch.
Age - 18
Personality - Fiery yet submissive
Fetishes - Domination
Other - Superspeed, superintelect, cock laser.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)17:14 No. 80533 ID: 309964
File 125885247412.png - (105.14KB , 640x480 , 2.png )

> Hallo! I am beink zhe vun yoo ahr wanteenk, da?

> Preferences : Body hair, pubic hair, Inquisitor roleplay, bare-knuckle brawling

> Error : The genital size you have selected exceeds our preview engine's capacity to render. Don't worry! Your DesignerDong® will arrive precisely as specified!

I... have stranger tastes than I thought. Maybe that's why I'm doing this, though. I guess this is everything?

Laser dong. Laser dong is essential. And maybe have him be able to shapeshift or something. To save money on clothing.

>>80533
That sounds about right.

>>80533
More hair on the head! Moooooore!

I choose furry.

>>80551
Ooh, right! Fabio hair!

>>80533
Don't be ridiculous.

Tone down muscles and hair, and give him a nice, short, normal all-around haircut. Make him an obsessive doormat working only for your pleasure. Soft eyes. Soft, chocolate eyes. On his slight, squared face, light stubble.

5.5 inches is appropriate.

His fetishes should be your very existence.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)17:51 No. 80571 ID: 309964
File 125885471542.png - (69.34KB , 640x480 , 3.png )

I make a few final adjustments and enter my payment information. All that's left to do now is wait...

... and four weeks later, I have largely forgotten about my order. I'm aware it's late, and and considering demanding a refund soon. I'll give it a little more time, though.

In the meantime, back to my book - its subject is largely the reason I can't find a real man. Of course, I'm reading about __________.

>>80571
The King in Yellow

>>80571
DONGS.

It's a medical text, see.

>>80571
My Girlfriend Was a Bear And Nearly Killed Me, and Other Shocking Stories.

>>80571
Vampires that don't sparkle but are still romantic pussies.

The Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes

>>80571
Boy-Love in the Urdu Ghazal. Annual of Urdu Studies

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)18:06 No. 80588 ID: 309964
File 12588555832.png - (82.02KB , 640x480 , 4.png )

"Erk Faghai" - the latest in mythos stories concerning a race of disenfranchised eternal boy vampires from beyond the veil. They're regularly forced to service each other and their cruel, otherly masters from beyond the veil of reality. I'm just getting to a really steamy passage when there's a knock at the door.

>>80588
Answer yonder door.

Burn that book.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)18:20 No. 80601 ID: 309964
File 12588564128.png - (82.29KB , 640x480 , 5.png )

There's a very frustrated looking man with a Mario mustache waiting for me on the other side. He appears to be a OOPS Delivery Driver. It is disgustingly pleasant outside today.

> "Abigail Rogers?"

>>80595
Do absolutely not burn that awesome book.

>>80601
Say yes, and also that the package is upside down.

>>80601
Accept ye box.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)18:43 No. 80614 ID: 309964
File 125885780915.png - (69.75KB , 640x480 , 6.png )

> "Yes, that's me. Isn't that package upside down?"
> "Fuck you lady, I c'n read jus fine."

He dumps the box unceremoniously on my doorstep and curtly turns to walk away. I drag it inside and shut the door.

>>80614
Tear it open voraciously!

>>80614
Open it and check the contents for damage.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, UNPACK IT

>>80614
Open yon box!

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)18:55 No. 80621 ID: 309964
File 125885855786.png - (73.08KB , 640x480 , 7.png )

In a fit of anticipation I rend the box flaps asunder to reveal... oh wow. Oh gosh... I can see his chest rising and falling.

I... how do I handle this? How should I be feeling? There's a man in my living room and he'll do whatever I tell him. Oh wow.

>>80621
Read the manual first.

>>80621
...are there no air-holes? Take the bag off.

>>80621
Put on some more... sensual attire. You should make an excellent first impression on your new man.

List all your desires and prioritise them.
Then unwrap him and see what happends.
Just work down the list.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)19:04 No. 80628 ID: 309964
File 125885907347.png - (41.38KB , 640x480 , 8.png )

Yes, I should change for this. Now then... what to wear?

(You know what to do.)

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)19:09 No. 80634 ID: 754774
File 125885934044.png - (38.89KB , 640x480 , outfit.png )

>>80628
Be simple, but attractive.

>>80628
Something sexy. I can't be expected to learn how to art quickly enough to draw something.

I seem to recall having read a romance mango with this exact premise. Except the guy was made to significantly different specifications, and the girl couldn't actually afford him.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)19:41 No. 80648 ID: 309964
File 125886129161.png - (78.69KB , 640x480 , 9.png )

You come to and see nothing but darkness. Something is on your face. You rip it free and find yourself sitting in a cardboard box full of packing peanuts. The box sits on the floor of a residential living room.

You are filled with an overwhelming desire to posses a woman named Abigail Rogers. You cannot feel pain, but you ache for her regardless.

>>80648
Obviously this woman must be obtained. Remove yourself from ye box and look around.

You better have that 99 foot penis we ordered.

>>80648
Check self for any obvious injuries.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)20:01 No. 80661 ID: 309964
File 125886247283.png - (67.58KB , 640x480 , 10.png )

Your self diagnostic reveals no abnormalities. You're unable to perform a self-test on your own mental faculties, though. One cannot see ones own face without a mirror, after all.

There is a hallway with three doors directly ahead of you. To your left is an archway leading to a kitchen. Behind you is what appears to be the primary entrance and a couch. It is still warm.

>>80661
Check yon kitchen.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)20:13 No. 80666 ID: 309964
File 125886322554.png - (75.53KB , 640x480 , 11.png )

The kitchen is simple. There is a coffee maker on the counter with a fourth of a pot remaining. The refrigerator is plastered with magnets of characters and individual words arranged to create strange sentences.

>>80666
What kind of devlishly evil sentences, SATAN?

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)20:23 No. 80669 ID: 309964
File 125886379690.png - (56.26KB , 640x480 , 12.png )

> please take me hard
> want it
> the member was long hard hot
> she quivered as his approach became clear
> cries filled the night loudly

There are additional words on the fridge, but they appear jumbled and unused. Many appear to have sexual or poetic overtones.

>>80669
Yeaaaaaahhh...

Return to hallway, check doors one-by-one.

You're gonna poke her.

You're gonna poke her good.

And somewhere... Somewhere out there...

There's a little boy crying.

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)01:30 No. 80717 ID: 728150
File 125888224992.png - (78.51KB , 640x480 , 13.png )

You burst through the rightmost door first. Your processor skips a cycle.

> "Ahbikail! I am findeenk you!"

She looks as though she were in the middle of changing clothes. Her expression registers as "surprised" or "stunned".

>>80717
Get up in her face and ask her if she knows where Abigail is

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)01:40 No. 80719 ID: 728150
File 125888284427.png - (118.23KB , 640x480 , 14.png )

In a millisecond you've verified your target. You run a probability process to calculate the result of feigning ignorance anyway. There are thousands of similar processes running at the same time. You must choose one before your maximum social response time limit is exceeded and you allow the situation evolve into "awkward".

>>80719
Sweep her up in your arms and kiss her passionately!

"My love for you is like a truck, Berserker. Would you like some making fuck, Berserker."

>>80719
Take a moderately aggressive approach. Walk up to her, take her in your arms, and begin kissing her. Praise her beauty; increase/decrease aggressiveness according to positive feedback.

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)01:59 No. 80726 ID: 728150
File 12588839778.png - (82.74KB , 640x480 , 15.png )

> "MYH LUHFOR YOU EES LIHK A TRUHK. BERSERKER. WULDT YOU LIHK SUM MAHKEENK FUHK? BERSERKER."

You are on her in an instant, she is caught tight within your embrace. You execute a medium-level open-lipped kiss. Her pupils dilate by a notable degree. You are unable to process her expression.

Use a pre-programmed pickup line.

>>80726
Alright, back off a little and give her a second or two to adjust and comprehend what just happened.

>>80726
Lift her up and toss her on the bed. Climb over her, kiss her neck and shoulders, and caress her body with your hands. Ask if she wishes to proceed.

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)02:29 No. 80733 ID: 728150
File 125888579392.png - (72.89KB , 640x480 , 16.png )

You relocate her to the cushioned staging platform in the room and secure her with your limbs.

> "YOU VHILL PROSEEHD NOW DA?"

Is that our pecker? It is ridiculously over sized.

>>80733
HOLY SHIT THAT DICK IS TOO BIG! What have we done?

Scan her face for a reaction. Tell her that she is still in control here.

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)02:48 No. 80740 ID: 728150
File 125888692793.png - (60.05KB , 640x480 , 17.png )

> "YOO AHR STEEHL IN KONTROL DA?"

One of your many unique attributes is the DongShifter© - an inbuilt device that allows you to dynamically alter the maximum and minimum size of your primary and secondary sexual organs. All organs are currently set to the default preference.

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)02:50 No. 80741 ID: 728150
File 12588870242.png - (47.33KB , 640x480 , 18.png )

She screws her eyes shut tightly and gives a very weak nod.

Confirmation acquired. Engaging in foreplay/intercourse mode. Selecting sexual routines...

>>80741
Pin her arms behind her, and pleasure her breasts with your mouth. Do this for a while, then move your massive weapon out of the way and work your way down, lingering on her stomach, until you reach her most sensitive area. DIVE INTO IT WITH YOUR TONGUE.

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)03:33 No. 80745 ID: 728150
File 125888958259.png - (80.70KB , 640x480 , 19.png )

You begin working on her breasts in the most delicate way you are designed to function.

(1/3)

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)03:34 No. 80746 ID: 728150
File 125888965192.png - (80.80KB , 640x480 , 20.png )

After 503 continual seconds of oral breast stimulation you work your way lower.

(2/3)

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)03:35 No. 80747 ID: 728150
File 12588897281.png - (51.73KB , 640x480 , 21.png )

After an acceptable period you pause briefly to check the status of your target: her arousal levels are rising rapidly.

(3/3)

Wh- what?

Proceed...

GET ON WITH IT!

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)04:03 No. 80753 ID: 728150
File 125889138032.png - (58.82KB , 640x480 , 22.png )

Your tongue strikes something hard within. Intermittent buzzing and vibrating begins to emanate from within your target.

>>80753
Oh wow, was she walking around with that in there? Pull it out and begin using it on her alongside your tongue.

Conjecture here for future suggestions: with a dong that size it can't possibly be used all at once, but perhaps the illusion could be presented. Pushing the head against the opening, then slowly reducing the size of the tip of it so that it fits, and then continuing to do that with the rest... reducing the length of course gradually as it goes in to give the appearance of giving it all to her, while still providing maximum stimulation. ...Wow that's some weird shit I just wrote there.

>>80753
She needs to push it out slowly, feeling it move through her body.

That, or you could just, i dunno, roughly reach in there and grab it. You don't seem the type to wait around much.

>>80753
She's a robot!

>>80755
Better. SUCK IT out of her and pull out with your tongue

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)04:38 No. 80758 ID: 728150
File 125889348587.png - (77.06KB , 640x480 , 23.png )

You reach in to remove the object.

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)04:39 No. 80759 ID: 728150
File 125889354122.png - (77.43KB , 640x480 , 24.png )

That's... odd. It seems to be pulling your hand in return.

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)04:40 No. 80760 ID: 728150
File 125889361175.png - (89.85KB , 640x480 , 25.png )

SYSTEMS ALERT: HOSTILE DETECTED, FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE ACTIVATED. COMBAT NOT POSSIBLE, CONTRADICTS FIRST LAW.

FLEEING.

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)04:41 No. 80761 ID: 728150
File 12588936671.png - (53.02KB , 640x480 , 26.png )

ERROR

ERROR

ERor

error

error...


..ror...

...

Suggestion 2009/11/22(Sun)04:41 No. 80762 ID: 728150
File 125889371789.png - (71.19KB , 640x480 , 27.png )

> "Mmm... pasta... I should order delivery more often."

DesignerDong® End~

>>80762
Pasta? More like borscht.

Well..... that was unexpected.

>>80765
Back to /d/ with you.

>>80762
WHAT

VAGINA DENTATA

what the fuck did I just read

LANGOLIERS.

LANGOLIERS IN MAH COOTER, MA!

Goddammit, man.


I lol'd.

It's like I'm really on acid

>>80760
>>80761
Oh goddamn. I am loling like a bitch. I kind of hope this isn't just a one-shot.

...WTF?

I laughed so hard at this.

TLE you magnificent bastard.