Oh now, what have we here...

Wake up.

Suggestion 2009/11/11(Wed)16:37 No. 75768 ID: 8ca25c
File 125798622261.jpg - (198.09KB , 1000x600 , desert01.jpg )

Fuck me. I had no idea that juicy caravan was headed back to a fuckin Behemoth! I think my tail is broken.

Damn it's hot.

>>75768
At least you're alive. Where are you, anyway?

>>75768
Inspect your surroundings for supplies. Is your tail really broken, or is it sprained?

>>75768
Hey, Gosh...
I mean, how are things, miss?

>>75768
Quick! Back to Thunderdome!

Look out for killer Talyxians.

Survey the landscape.

>in b4 we're stranded in the desert
in After

Examine self.

Nice hair. Is that a tire on your leg?

>>75768
Nice language, pottymouth!

>>75782
I see what you did there.

Yeah, assess situation.

Suggestion 2009/11/11(Wed)18:37 No. 75837 ID: 8ca25c
File 125799343291.jpg - (180.75KB , 1000x600 , it's broke.jpg )

>>75779
Do what now?

>>75772
I suppose I could scavenge some broken shit, if I'm lucky a gun or two. I already have a gun though.
>>75790
No it's a motorcycle. Well part of one anyway, I'm damn lucky it didn't land on me, it'd have probably broken both my legs in addition to my poor tail. Then I'd be proper fucked.

>>75773
Name's Cheren.

>>75780

I've heard stories from old people about those things, but I've never seen one in my twenty some odd years out here. I should probably worry more about that damned Behemoth. Fucker came right out of the ground!

>>75772
Oh it's fuckin broke. This is gonna hurt, hopefully I won't have to chop it off, I like my tail.

>>75800
Shut your hole, if you were stuck in this Alh Mene forsaken place you'd cuss like a motherfucker too.

>>75837
Is your gun even still in working order? Looks like you got banged up pretty bad.

>>75837
I like her. She's got personality.

Alright, check inventory and surroundings. Splint up tail (is that what one does with a broken tail?) if necessary.

Check your inventory.

Collect spare parts to form a splint for your tail. Use FIRST AID knowledge.

Is your motorcycle broken?

Suggestion 2009/11/11(Wed)19:33 No. 75909 ID: 8ca25c
File 125799678322.jpg - (127.75KB , 1000x600 , there are many like it but this one is mine.jpg )

>>75842
Oh yeah, this beauty could get run over and still work. Those little guys sure do look weird but they make some nice weapons. Unlike those disgusting boldlings that make ugly stamped crap that doesn't shoot straight half the time.

>>75855
Well it's in several pieces, so I'd say yeah. I'm not the driver anyway, I just shoot things.


With a tail you just straighten it out, wrap it, and hope it doesn't get infected or something. Hurts like a bitch.

Check your ammunition reserves

Last thing we want is to run out of bullets on a raid.

>>75909
Alright, which way to the closest oasis or town?

Also, check inventory.

Well, do you have anything to wrap and straighten it out with?

Are there any salvagable long-arms around to supplement your pistol?

So what's a Behemoth, anyway?

Oh please tell me that gun's engraved with a nude relief of your enemy's mother.

>>75918
well OBVIOUSLY

Suggestion 2009/11/11(Wed)21:47 No. 75990 ID: 8ca25c
File 12580048252.jpg - (214.44KB , 1000x600 , buggy wreck.jpg )

>>75910
I've got like two reloads here.

>>75911
Not a damn clue, only thing I can make out landmark-wise is the cloud of smoke that I assume is the remainder of our raiding group. I've got some water and some ammo and some cash.

>>75912
yeah it's wrapped.

>>75917
It's a big ass machine with lots of guns all over it.

I found Dochin's buggy, and what's left of him. Looks like his better half survived, I kept telling that dumbass to put a roll cage on there but he said it "didn't look cool." Looks like my MG is fucked, the bolt and receiver cover are both gone, and the spring is bent all to shit anyway. Shame about my awesome paint job, to leave it out in the desert like this.

>>75990
Might as well go regroup with the rest of the raiders, or see if any survived should they have been blasted.

>>75990
Good to hear you have more sense than he did.

Where's your flask? Do you have a bottle? Alcohol? Water? Something to pee in?

Serious, take stock of all that shit that's lying around and lets have a look at your inventory. Are all the vehicles broken? Real shame not to be a mechanic in that case, maybe you can sneak out of this desert instead.
And give us a overview about this area. Friendly bases, enemy strongholds and such.

>>75909
You know, I'm curious about the design of your gun. That's a quite thick barrel, implying there would be a lot of power going through, but that pretty little spinner couldn't hold barely any powder. And the material below the barrel doesn't seem to be doing anything but making the gun heavier.

So, tell us more about your piece?

Suggestion 2009/11/12(Thu)23:07 No. 76192 ID: 068b0e
File 125809606586.jpg - (277.20KB , 800x858 , inventory-Cheren copy.jpg )

Oh good, I found my pack, it's got a first aid kit, my money, and my knife in it. I have two days of water, and my gun and ammo. I also have my lockpicks. Nothing really around here but broken vehicles and body parts, not much I can use... As far as salvageable stuff, I found some tire and plate armor, it's really fuckin hot to wear that shit, but it's real good protection against being cut or whacked with a club. Umm, there's a good grenade launcher and some ammo but I'm a terrible shot with those things, Everybody else wouldn't let me use 'em after the uhh, incident with the umm, let's say it involved a grain silo and me hitting it by accident instead of the car I was shooting at. There's a rifle with a broken stock, and a belt of ammo that will fit it from my gun. All the heavy weapons were mounted to vehicles, and as such are broken all to shit. I found some grenades too, but I'm really bad with those too, maybe I shouldn't handle explosives. There's a mace made out of some all-thread and a big nut. There's a flask of some nasty-ass rotgut, too.

>>76192
remove the stock from the grenade launcher, attach it to the rifle, take the rifle.
also take the ammo, and a single grenade. don't bother with the mace, you've already got a machete, and the armor would be terrible to wear in the sun.

>>76192
Take the rifle, hold it in one hand. Hold the ammo in the other hand, and put a grenade in your pack.

See if you can wear the ammo as a bandolier though. Can you get the interlocking slots to form a loop? That would free up a hand to put say... the rotgut in.

Suggestion 2009/11/13(Fri)01:19 No. 76195 ID: 547e3f
File 125810395012.jpg - (28.13KB , 336x336 , Raising Arizona.jpg )

>>76192
Can you use some leather and needle&thread from your first aid kit to fashion some kind of makeshift scabbard for your machete and maybe even the rifle? It would free up some inventory room and look also awesome.
<----- something like this
The bandolier idea is also a bitchin' fashion statement.
What is the stuff in your pocket and what to appears to be cheese crackers in your back-pack? If it ain't iron rations you'll probably have to eat Dochin.
Armor or not depends on what you're going to do next. No if it's a long trek through the desert, maybe yes if you want to attack something. We'll have to know what's around to decide this.

Follow the man in black.

>>76196
No don't, no one wants to see what an old Sergal looks like.

Wear the ammo as a bandolier, hold a grenade in your mouth, take the stock off the grenade launcher and put it on the rifle, take the rifle, put grenades in any other excess inventory spaces.

How valuable is rotgut? We might want to store that in our mouth instead of the grenade.

Make sure and keep the candy corn at all costs.

That orange stuff in her pack is the money she mentioned. The pocket contains lockpicks. Rotgut is generally the cheapest alcohol available, similar in quality to bathtub gin.

Wear ammo belt. Take riffle, attempt repairs if possible. At least cover up the jagged bits. Rotgut may prove useful for chemical warfare.

How heavily armored would anyone you meet be?

Do cutebolds even wear armor or just uniforms? What about other races?

If you're going to run into armored foes, mace would be a better melee weapon. If not, keep that knife of yours.

Carrying the armor is probably better than leaving it.

Take the ammo and the rotgut. Try to repair the rifle stock with the grenade launcher stock, using spikes taken from the mace as nails. Take one grenade. Even if you're bad with it, it'll intimidate the fuck out of people.

>>76196
What was said here... I see it...

Suggestion 2009/11/16(Mon)10:09 No. 77501 ID: 068b0e
File 125839495149.jpg - (71.58KB , 803x362 , cut down rifle.jpg )

OK this is as good as I can get, there's not really a way to wear a scabbard over a backpack. The stock from a grenade launcher won't fit on a rifle like that. This is probably going to throw my aim off.

As far as armour goes, most of the little snots don't wear anything but they have machine guns. That makeshift stuff is not gonna stop bullets. They generall ride around in vehicles.

I'm not walking around with something in my mouth.

We only drove for like two hours to get to this caravan, but it was across the desert and not down a road or anything.

>>77501
Well, how would one of those vehicles stand up to a grenade launcher? Think you can fire a grenade in front of one of those buggies and have it explode?

>>77501
You should consider cutting out the barrel. Without the stock you won't be getting much accuracy with that thing anyway, might as well go for concealment.

Get few 'nades as well so you could booby trap. If the buggy is done for, booby trap it. If those tiny bastards come investigating, they will get their little faces blown off.

>>77507

We already have a concealed weapon (Revolver). And we need something that has a bigger range. Losing the range advantage in a desert would be folly

>>77501
D:
What did you do to that mosin.

Suggestion 2009/11/16(Mon)12:49 No. 77570 ID: 068b0e
File 125840457995.jpg - (184.67KB , 1000x600 , bold vehicles.jpg )

You don't just chop the barrel off of a rifle and it magically turns into a pistol. It turns into some kind of crude bullet flinger with less range than my pistol. I can probably shoot this OK from a prone position.
Well, there's a few kinds of vehicles I've seen, those weird "Sandcarp" driller thingies, those are armed with rockets and are pretty decently armored, a grenade would probably just leave a nice big black mark on that. Same with a tank, unless I like, shoved it in the tracks or something, but I have no desire to get my hand that close to a tank tread. Now regular vehicles like a scout car or a truck, yeah, grenades fuck them up pretty solid. I can't hit for shit with a grenade launcher though. I swear I didn't know a half empty grain silo is pretty much a giant bomb!

I don't really have the skills to make booby traps, I'd probably blow myself up trying to pull that kinda shit.

>>77570

Can you try and shoot the drivers? Or do those beady eyed bastards use have reinforced glass?

Suggestion 2009/11/16(Mon)13:28 No. 77581 ID: 068b0e
File 125840690714.jpg - (275.38KB , 800x858 , inventory-Cheren copy.jpg )

>>77577
Yeah but that can get tricky sometimes.

Ok if that is everything I'll get going.. I'm not sure exactly to where though.

>>77581
Head towards the smoke.

>>77581
Fuck the smoke. Go left.

>>77581
Is it possible you can form a mental map of the area?

>>77581

Where there's smoke, there's fire. Ready your weapon and head there

Suggestion 2009/11/16(Mon)13:53 No. 77610 ID: 068b0e
File 125840839435.jpg - (119.49KB , 1000x600 , mental map.jpg )

Here's my umm, mental map of the area. I think I'm somewhere here in relation to the smoke, which is where we came from.

>>77610

fffffffffff... if we're up against their land cruisers we might be fucked. We need to sneak up and scout it.

>>77610
Left.

>>77610
Go to the smoke, then the hole.

Suggestion 2009/11/16(Mon)14:38 No. 77653 ID: 068b0e
File 125841111764.jpg - (143.19KB , 1000x600 , cloud.jpg )

There's a big-ass cloud of dust and smoke, I can hear vehicles driving around. Those fuckin annoying ass little buzzers they like to fly around in are in the sky too, probably looking for survivors.

If I know these miserable little bastards, and I do, they'll be having their slaves clean up whatever loot they want and then hopefully they'll get back in their machine and get the hell outta here.

>>77653

Continue a slow approach towards the site. Make sure to conceal all shiny objects.

Suggestion 2009/11/16(Mon)15:14 No. 77676 ID: 068b0e
File 125841327961.jpg - (101.59KB , 1000x600 , behemoth.jpg )

Alright, I can't see shit in this cloud. No fuckin way they'll see me in here either, though. They are pretty damn stupid, for the most part.

>>77676
>No fuckin way they'll see me in here either, though.
You've just jinxed it. Nice job.

>>77676

We're up against a fucking fortress? Holy damn. We need to sneak aboard and wreck some serious havoc upon these cocky-eyed freaks

>>77676
No way. Get out of here STALKER.

>>77676
Think you could infiltrate the behemoth?

>>77676
Clearly you must infiltrate the METAL G- I mean, Behemoth.

>>77676
Holyshit that's enormous. Sneak aboard and hitch a ride.

Suggestion 2009/11/16(Mon)18:25 No. 77814 ID: 068b0e
File 125842472323.jpg - (113.10KB , 1000x600 , behemoth 2.jpg )

Sweet mother of fuck! This thing is GIANT! I'm not sure that this is the best idea after all... I think I can get in, though.

>>77814
This doesn't seem like a good idea, but then again, you are pretty much in the middle of the desert.

Careful, there's a person/thing on the other side of that leg thingie.

>>77814
There's a guard by the door. Can you sneak up and take him out quietly?

Sneak up on that bold and interrogate him.

>>77814
Cutebold killan gaems

Don't KILL him, just interrogate him to hell. And then punch him unconscious.

Use those sneaking toes.

Rub his nose against his will, they hate that shit.

On second thought it might just be wiser to sneak past him. if kobolds start going missing they're gonna start looking for you, making being a stowaway that much harder.

>>78026
Little hard to sneak past a guy standing IN the doorway.

1. We need to snipe... but make it look like an accident.

2. We need to bait him off...

Suggestion 2009/11/17(Tue)21:39 No. 78489 ID: c4f7d3
File 125852275595.jpg - (214.34KB , 800x800 , pistol whip.jpg )

OK first let's incapacitate the guard... How am I gonna interrogate him now?

>>78489
Slap his nose every time you think he gives you an incorrect answer.

It'll be like a kick in the nads to him.

>>78492
I think we probably knocked him unconscious.

>>78489
Drag him inside. Don't leave the body lying around out in the open.

Examine size of ingress hatch.

Drag kobold around out of sight.

Suggestion 2009/11/17(Tue)22:10 No. 78525 ID: c4f7d3
File 125852459971.jpg - (118.78KB , 1000x600 , shake him and choke him.jpg )

Well he's had the proverbial "fuck" pistol whipped out of him but I can smack his nasty little face awake! What should I ask him?

I'm back out of sight.

>>78496
The hatch is quite small, like for a kid. I could maybe get inside of it but I don't know how tall the hallways are in there. If they're as big as that hatch I'm at a serious fuckin disadvantage.

Ask him what they're doing out here and where they're headed.

Ask it... A/S/L?

But seriously. See if it knows an out-of-the-way place for you to hide until you're out of there. Remind it how close to death it is, and how it answers can change this.

Suggestion 2009/11/17(Tue)22:37 No. 78547 ID: c4f7d3
File 125852623942.jpg - (200.23KB , 1000x600 , slap him like a bitch.jpg )

What're you little fucks doing out here in this thing?

"I.. I don't kn-"
Wrong answer, fucker!

What do you know about the surrounding terrain?

"th-there's an oasis around somewhere, I thin- urrk- the west!"

Oh shit, the big ass hatch door is closing! Should I keep whacking this turd in the face or what? It's pretty fun.

>Should I keep whacking this turd in the face or what?

What kind of question is that? Of course you don't keep smacking him. You haven't broken his fingers yet.

No, if you do that you'll probably kill him. Gag him with his own clothing,sling him over your shoulder and head for that oasis.

>>78525
Lick him on the nose to reward him for a helpful answer then bring him with you so he can't tell the others where you went. Once you reach the oasis you can just leave him there or something.

>>78547
Do it until he gets a nosebleed and then say "Aww, look at that, you're blossoming into a woman. Now start remembering just where the oasis is before I make you suck on my gun, you slut."

Press the revolver into his mouth for emphasis.

>>78551

How about we don't engage in what amounts to sexual assault. Can we do that instead?

Keep him as a hostage. He might be important.

He's little. That means he has huge information! Strip and tie. Strip and tie the bold.

Then head for the oasis.

Hide until the big machine leaves. Then the bold will HAVE to guide you to the oasis.

tie up and take along to oasis...

Otherwise, throw him in the closing door... (make it look like accident)

>>78547
Follow your instincts and rape the little fucker... after you get on the Behemoth of course.

>>78621
Nah a better thing would to later on rip his throat out and then you eat him

Gag him, sling him, get to the oasis. Tell him if he's lying about the oasis he's gonna die of thirst with you.

>>78551
Please you grind that into the metal

"Self-propelled emergency ration"

Suggestion 2009/11/18(Wed)10:24 No. 78653 ID: 91caa1
File 125856864579.jpg - (44.13KB , 480x195 , Untitled-1.jpg )

Slap that cutebold!

Slap that cutebold!

Slap that cutebold!

Sho' is guud!

I say. We should steal him and interrogate him, slapping his face till he'll admit he's our bitch.

>>78655
... and to think I wondered how cutebolds have become mental, mechanized, mass murders out of fear huh?

>>78656
Yeah, what's wrong with you?

Suplex him.

SUPLEX HIM!

Suggestion 2009/11/18(Wed)20:58 No. 78931 ID: 88d217
File 125860669778.jpg - (127.66KB , 1000x600 , beating the shit out of a cutebold.jpg )

>abuse cutebold further
Yeah you little fucker! Smack! not so fuckin tough without your goddamn Thud! fuckin WHAP machines whump are you motherfucker? WHAP!

>>78931
Now turn around to find about a million guns (which are wielded by pissed off kobolds) aimed at your head.

Now let the cutebold speak.

>>78931
Gag him, tie him up, sling him over your shoulder, and get moving away from the behemoth before the others spot you. Once it drives off, you can move towards the oasis.

Suggestion 2009/11/18(Wed)21:29 No. 78940 ID: 88d217
File 125860858065.jpg - (110.84KB , 1000x600 , oh no the behemoth have starting to move.jpg )

Fuck! The ground's shaking!

Should I leave him here to get ground into paste by the screws or take him with me?

>>78940
Take him with you to ensure you get to the oasis.

>>78940
Koboldnap him.

Steal him away~

>>78940
Take him with you, why not.

Suggestion 2009/11/18(Wed)22:04 No. 78956 ID: 88d217
File 125861065737.jpg - (131.23KB , 1000x600 , run.jpg )

Alright I'm getting the fuck out of here.

>>78956
Good. Now we can properly interrogate him... probably knows where we can find some more good loot.

>>78956

Oh boy. We got ourselves our very own cutebold bitch. Don't damage him too much, we still need to teach him where his place is.

Stockholm syndrome would be fun.

Suggestion 2009/11/20(Fri)19:30 No. 79934 ID: 88d217
File 125877422910.jpg - (130.85KB , 1000x600 , gained 1 cutebold.jpg )

Well I can't see it any more, just a big cloud of settling dust. Only problem is, I am not sure which direction is West exactly.

>>79934
Check to see what stuff the little guy is carrying.

Also, where's the sun?

Look at the sun, and remember if it is morning or afternoon.

It rises in the east and sets in the west.

>>79934
Stand at the place where your are
Now face west
Think about direction, wonder why you haven't before

Ahem.
Check with the sun. If it's late in the day, the sun will be in the west, if early then east.

Ask your prisoner.

Suggestion 2009/11/20(Fri)21:20 No. 80116 ID: 88d217
File 125878083873.jpg - (116.45KB , 600x1000 , loot.jpg )

This should wake him up!

Haha, jackpot! He's got some money, I'm taking that, a magazine to his tiny gun that I threw into the screws of that machine; don't need that; a tiny grenade, haha, I'm sure as fuck not letting him keep that; a box of juice, and some canister thing with some Kobold writing on it and a spinny bit in the middle. Too bad I can't read their stupid language, but I think it's all just random scribbles anyway. There's also a loose bullet. I love loot.

>>80116
That thing with the spinny bit in the middle is useful. If you could read Kobold you could use it to figure out which way west is.

In other words, get him to tell you which way west is with the spinny thing.

>>80116
oh! get that "Canister thing" It's a compass. White arrow points north.

>spinny thing.

thats obviously a compass.. shouldnt be too hard to figure out.

>>80116
>a box of juice

Man, even in a grim apocalyptic setting, they can't help but be adorable.

Become disgusted by this.

JUICE BOX

SCORE

Ask him which way to an oasis.

Remind him that finding the oasis is in his best interest, if he doesn't want to die of thirst. Also if he leads you to some of his friends, his death will be slow and painful.

and if you cant figure it out after that, that kobold is your new navigator.

Suggestion 2009/11/20(Fri)22:36 No. 80194 ID: 88d217
File 125878537177.jpg - (162.90KB , 713x600 , diplomacy face.jpg )

Hmm, I can't read the text on here, so I'm pretty sure I'd still get fuckin lost even with a compass. Time to get some use out of this little snotwart.
I'll put on my pretty smile for him. Should scare him into listening.

Now listen here, I'm going to make it very clear that it is in your best interests to get us both to that oasis. You don't have shit, and I have a big fuckin gun and a big fuckin knife. Do you understand?

>You won't get away with this! You bad monsters always get caught in the end!

I don't think I asked you a fuckin question, now did I?

oo! I've got an awesome idea!

Give me your shirt!

Looks like I got a smart one, 'cause he listens.

>>80194
"A monster am I!? You think I'm a monster? Why don't I show you just what a monster I can be!?"

>>80194
Also keep your gun on him at all times, no telling what the little snots hide under their shirts.

Spend the entire trip ranting at him about all the bad stuff kobolds have done.

Also, make out with him.

Suggestion 2009/11/20(Fri)22:50 No. 80205 ID: 88d217
File 125878624392.jpg - (83.45KB , 565x600 , what is she doing.jpg )

Yeah, silk. This will work nicely. Let's get a thread...

>>80205
What are you doing..?

Suggestion 2009/11/20(Fri)23:07 No. 80216 ID: 88d217
File 12587872485.jpg - (54.76KB , 595x506 , cutebold flight deterrant .jpg )

All right, you wanna be condescending you little asshole? I can be an asshole too. Now see, a monster would have ripped off your face by now, or at least not made this nice little cradle here so the grenade I just strapped to your back won't cut into your little neck as you navigate our asses to that oasis before we both die out here. Well, I suppose you've got enough blood in you to keep me going for a day or so, unless you get walking.

He doesn't say anything, maybe next time he'll think twice about opening his smart ass mouth.

John would be proud.

Nice work.

Ask him how far away it is.

>>80216
I hope that leash is long enough so you won't pull the pin by accident. Like if he stumbles and falls.

>>80222
So anyway.

Give him the spinny dial thing and tell him to make sure we keep going West.

Suggestion 2009/11/20(Fri)23:40 No. 80236 ID: 88d217
File 125878925331.jpg - (136.46KB , 1000x600 , oasis.jpg )

>>80204
Now that's just disgusting, who knows what kind of diseases they carry?

>>80196
I don't think that will be necessary

>>80200
Good idea, his people are genocidal maniacs when they get together, I'll make sure to tell him about everyone I know that's been killed, innocent and raider alike. At least the raiders knew what they were getting into, hell, I do it for the sheer thrill of just shootin and lootin! Those kids though... man, sounds like the stories they tell about Rain, but with more 'leaving them to rot' and less eating them.

Oh shit, there's a caravan at the oasis, and me with only six bullets. Guess I'll have to think of some other way to make a profit out of this.

Wait a fuckin second here, am I hallucinating already? I'm really damn thirsty, I dare not drink all my water though. No matter how many times I blink, whatever these things are don't go away. I've got no idea what the fuck to do here.

>>80236
It's not a hallucination, though you might want to take a sip of water. Slosh it around in your mouth a bit to make it count.

Apart from that, ask the cutebold what he sees, and remind him you have that grenade on his back.

>>80236
It's not a hallucination, though you might want to take a sip of water. Slosh it around in your mouth a bit to make it count.

Apart from that, ask the cutebold what he sees, and remind him you have that grenade on his back.

...Pretend you're not a raider?

What should we know about caravans?

>>80236
It's gonna be hard not to look suspicious while you're leading a kobold around on a leash.

>>80236
>Now that's just disgusting, who knows what kind of diseases they carry?

Oh, so your up to drinking his blood, gruesomely pummeling him and threatening him with an ingeniously cruel contraption, plus shooting and looting everybody, yet your not willing to do the whole Rain experience?

Rain would do something a lot more horrible and be unconcerned of the diseases you know.

Hell, I'm sure the kobold equivalent wouldn't care. She'd make tons of little, genetically diverse, powerful monsters.

Just what kind of pansy ass raider are you?

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)00:01 No. 80252 ID: 88d217
File 125879046027.jpg - (75.02KB , 1000x600 , ohgodwat.jpg )

>>80242
This water tastes like fruit.

>>80244
But I kinda am.
Caravans are usually a pretty easy target, but they usually aren't carrying much cash, usually odds and ends or trade goods.

>>80246
it's thin enough that you can't see it unless you are looking for it and I can make him wear his poncho

I'm gonna ask the bold [sniff] what he sees and if it-whoa [sniff] what the fuck?

>I sees a caravan, yellow [sniff]wit err, things I dunno, everything looks meeltyyy [sniff]

why's it cold?

>>80252
Grab him by the neck and ask him what the drink was.

Wipe his nose so it doesnt look like you just beat the shit out of him.

>>80254
It was her water. It's not the water doing this. It's the 'caravan'.

>>80252
...I think you BOTH are tripping, so it's probably not the juice. Stick together, because right now, you are the only allies that EITHER of you have got.
This might be a kind of MENTAL ASSAULT.

>>80252
Stop looking at the caravan for a while, and get the kobold to do the same. It's probably full of ilithid or something.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)00:25 No. 80276 ID: 88d217
File 125879192711.jpg - (138.32KB , 1000x600 , trippin balls.jpg )

lemme get that for y-[sniff] you
Everything's all florpy.

Drink was [sniff]my water, shouldn'ta tasted fruity

'lithids aren't near that big. Nasty fuckin slavers, they are.[sniff] They don't drive around in wagons either.

I'm not lookin at it. I can smell [sniff] flowers, I think. My nose is runnin.

What was that? I think I saw something fly by. I've gotta be trippin my ass off, maybe I've been in the heat too long.

what the fuck am I doing?

>>80276
Grab the kobold and get away from the oasis! It's in the air!

>>80276
Shit, your nose is probably bleeding too! Try to get away to clear your head!

>>80276
You've probably been hit with a tranquilizer. Somehow. Or someone's fucking with your head. Or... I don't know really. Grab the cutebold and ask him what's happening, tell him if you fall unconscious he'll die.

Bluff that one of course. Not the wisest thing to do, pull a pin before losing consciousness.

Grab bold. Run in random direction. BE CAREFUL NOT TO PRIME THE GRENADE.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)00:53 No. 80297 ID: 88d217
File 125879358184.jpg - (169.89KB , 1000x600 , go go go.jpg )

It's getting better as I run the fuck away, I think. I can tell that the sun's setting now but I'm still trippin pretty hard. The farther away I get the more solid things seem. I feel light headed...

oh man that stuffed animal you're holding looks adorable, you should totally hug it.

>>80297
First Squirrel and now you.

I declare this official Trippin' Balls week.

>>80297
Hug your little baby and tell it you're going on an ADVENTURE and that mommy loves him.

>>80297
Don't run too far, now. You want to be able to see where the oasis is. Sit down. Swear profusely.

>>80297
Slaver that uses a caravan of enslaved creatures as a front to get more slaves, perhaps? Could be bad news. Information that people would pay good money to know, maybe?

Be incredibly careful not to prime the grenade.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)08:36 No. 80335 ID: 88d217
File 125882140973.jpg - (59.33KB , 583x296 , waking up.jpg )

Ugh, where the hell am I? Oh right, lost in the fuckin desert. Shit, I sure am thirsty, and my canteen is empty. I can't smell anything but blood, what's going on? Ugh, it's night time.

Eww gross, I touched it while I was sleeping!

>>80335

What exactly happened there?

>>80335
Snuggle closer. You could use the heat.

Well you're up now. Nudge the kobold, check for grenade.

>>80335
Looks like you got busted in the nose somehow.

At least that grenade didn't go off. As cool as that idea was, it seems a touch impractical.

>>80335
Serious, ewww.
Is it still alive, make sure it's not starting to scream and alerts anyone.
And how are you? Slowly get into a crouch and check the surroundings. Also look how much of your stuff was lost while you were tripping balls.

>>80340
Could be psychic backlash... He nose doesn't look damaged.
Any stories other than the usual ones about mirages and cactus juice on the topic of trippy episodes in the desert?

Wake the cutebold and ask him what the hell happened.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)12:35 No. 80384 ID: 88d217
File 125883570985.jpg - (84.54KB , 725x475 , bold kickan gaems.jpg )

I seem to have all my crap, and the kobold's got all of his, with the grenade still secureley attached to his back. Except I have no water now. Never heard of or seen anything like that before. There's some weird shit out in the middle of nowhere sometimes, but I've never heard of something like this.

The kobold doesn't know shit, of course. I'm not too sure where to go.

>>80338
Gross, I've probably already got some kind of fleas from being this close to him.

Ask kobold what the last thing he can remember is.

Ask him if he has any idea where you are, or how to get anywhere.

Man, you two sure bleed from the nose a lot. I wonder what else you have in common.

also he was probably tripping less than you, ask if he remembers the way back.

Don't ask him shit, try to find something cool.

Stop worrying about the damn diseases and fleas, you coward. Your people love close contact with [i]things that don't even move[i/].

The grenade is a fun idea, but if you blow it up you'll lose its precious liquid.
There have to be raider camps or something similar around, right? Any idea how to reach one of those. It's night, can you navigate by the stars?

>>80384
Scan the horizon to find the oasis again. Maybe the trippy things left.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)12:57 No. 80396 ID: 88d217
File 125883703464.jpg - (48.05KB , 441x364 , bold handprint.jpg )

His nosebleed appears to have been smeared across his face.

>>80386
He remembers flying?

>>80387
He says he can get back to the oasis but doesn't know where there are any settlements around.

>>80389
He said he was a "Green Man," I think he got it worse than me. He can get us back there though.

>>80392
Hey you creep, just 'cause you like to fuck dead bodies and get worms or something doesn't mean everybody does.

>>80393
I have no idea how to navigate, somebody else usually did that.

If you must, pick a constellation and travel towards it. It's your only guaranteed marker at night. It might be better to make sort of a tent and sleep during the day until you get out of the desert.

It was less necrophilia and more stereotyping Sergals that made that comment.

Just... just ask if he's straight enough on his feet to get moving. We should get moving soon. Check the sky for smoke, we wanna get as far away from anything with a smoke stack because it could be his cavalry or some shit like that.

Stumbling aimlessly around in the desert is pretty much certain death, the oasis is only possible death.
So unless you know something else, go back there and be extra careful this time. Better gag the vermin, lest he does something stupid like alerting someone.

>>80396

Well tell him to wipe that blood off his face. It's fucking disgusting looking. Our boots need proper licking too...

>>80396
Alright, get moving towards the oasis again.

Looks like it's oasis or wander-in-the-desert-til-you-die.

Approach the oasis from upwind this time. And observe it carefully from far away.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)14:23 No. 80412 ID: 88d217
File 125884220340.jpg - (92.71KB , 1000x600 , oasis.jpg )

Wipe that blood off of your face, you look fucking stupid.
>yes.

OK we went way around this time, and approached from the other side, no weird feelings or signs of that fucked up caravan. At least it's not so damn hot anymore.

>>80412
Looks safe! Get ye some water.

Check out that palm tree. Looks suspicious...

Sneak closer to the oasis and be prepared for an ambush.
Any way to to secure your food while you scout the oasis? Dragging him along while trying to be sneaky might prove difficult.
When was your last meal anyways?

>>80412

If the oasis is safe, tell that disgusting little shit to hop out of his clothes and clean itself. If he dies we don't want to catch anything from eating filthy meat.

>>80417
Just don't let him know your planning to eat him if he does die. If the kobold loses all hope of survival in the desert then he may pull the grenades latch himself and dive after you, taking you out with him.

Get some water.

Test it on the bold first.

Suggestion 2009/11/21(Sat)15:35 No. 80452 ID: 88d217
File 125884650694.jpg - (90.78KB , 1000x600 , well1.jpg )

He pushes the lid aside a bit and says there's no bucket. Fuck. If it's not one damn thing it's another.

>>80452
What's that purple thing on the celing?

>>80456

Yeah. Tell him to inspect that thing.

>>80456

Yeah. Tell him to inspect that thing. Also - make a waterskin to pull the water out of the well.

>>80459
Threaten him if he doesn't inspect the thing.

>>80462
Threaten him either way, just for fun.

Nah, don't go too rough on him. Like I said, even if he does deserve it he'll go psycho suicidal on your ass eventually.

Just tell him without the abuse unless it'd be less work to look to the left of your eye-level. Seriously, that thing is just to your left.

>>80452
We're going to play "Shark Fishing."

You have a rope right? Lower him into the well and tell him to fill the canteens.

>>80477
If they had rope, they could just lower the canteens.

That said, maybe they can use strips of cloth.

>>80452
Let's try something insane, get the wire from his grenade and tie it around the canteens that should work. If it's not long enough use some cloth.
Then refresh yourself and start talking with the little twit.
It would be interesting to know, who he is, what his job is and why he was outsite of the behemoth.

Suggestion 2009/11/25(Wed)10:22 No. 81477 ID: 88d217
File 125917331951.jpg - (13.98KB , 267x240 , thing.jpg )

Ah shit, I don't have a rope. I could use the string to carefully lower a canteen down there, and get some though. The water tastes fine, no trippin' out or anything.



Now let's take a look at this thing. He can't tell what the thing is but I can see it better. I'm not sure what the fuck it is either. Looks like some kind of growth or something.

do we have a stick to poke it with?

>>81477

Try to grab it and give it a closer look.

>>81477
Don't you dare touch it. Find a stone and hit it from a distance.

Or make the Kobold eat it.

>>81477
You have a fucking huge knife, poke it with that if you really have to.
and let go of it in case something unexpected happens.

>>81477
I'll bet it conceals an eye or tentacles, or hallucinogenic spores or some other madness within.

Thrown stone, stick, then knife.
Then ignore it, fill the canteens and figure out how to get out of the desert.

Suggestion 2009/11/25(Wed)11:41 No. 81489 ID: 88d217
File 125917809758.jpg - (72.14KB , 762x509 , thing2.jpg )

Hmm, the nodules on the arm things push in when I poke them with something.

>>81489
It lives! Shoot it!

Yeah lets stop poking that.

Shooting it seems unnecessary, might be even dangerous.
draw your gun, keep your distance and observe it.
The vermin can get water.

Oh, hey. It's biotech from that underground city.

Keep poking it.

>>81489

Try saying hello in a cautious manner.

>>81489
if there's something like spores in it, it would be better to burn it ... or catch it and put it in a bag or clothes and throw it away until you finished your stay ... are you hungry?

Suggestion 2009/11/25(Wed)14:12 No. 81518 ID: 88d217
File 125918712489.jpg - (135.70KB , 1000x600 , pokin at it.jpg )

OK, I took the grenade off his back and used the string and a canteen to get water with. Now I wanna fuck with this thing up here. I can't pry it off, it's rooted or glued or something. It's not responsive to me just prodding at it.

The kobold is asleep now but I can kick him awake if I need to ask him all that shit.

>>81518
Spit on it. If nothing happens, then drizzle a little water on it.

>>81518
Staying away doesn't work like this goddamit.
If you really want to fuck with that thing use the vermin as guinea pig at least, do you want to get hurt or what?
Tell us when you get hungry, I know lots of cutebold recipes.

>>81518
if it can't move from there it can't bite you ... that's good i hope it's not part of something greater ... maybe it's the sprout of an arm of an arm of something really big :/ you can still try to cut of one of the nodules if you're REALLY nosey

>>81518
This may be the thing that triggered the tripping balls moment earlier on. It's likely full of some kind of spores that cause hallucinations.

Use the knife to try and pry the little slit on its face open. If a powder falls out, have the kobold smell it and see if he experiences the same thing as before. If he does, this isn't a good to sleep until that thing's good and gone.

Though, given how powerful the effects were, what do you think a more refined version would sell for?

>>81518
Poke all the nodules at the same time. Two with your fingers/hand-held objects, the third with your nose.

Suggestion 2009/11/25(Wed)16:39 No. 81547 ID: b8f915
File 125919598497.png - (46.59KB , 450x450 , 1190715010343.png )

>>81542
and then that thing will fold out and eat her face ... or worse

>>81518

Pry it off with a knife

>>81518
Leave that shit alone.

Suggestion 2009/11/26(Thu)15:50 No. 81848 ID: 88d217
File 125927945865.jpg - (80.54KB , 762x509 , thing2.jpg )

>>81520
That didn't do anything, really.

>>81521
I'm not sure I want to eat or otherwise damage my only ticket out of here yet

>>81530
I don't think it can conceal anything bigger than my fist stuck to that block of stone like it is.

>>81540
Hmm, that's a good idea, if there's something trippy inside I can probably find a buyer...

There's some kinda fucked up little hard things on stalks inside of there.

>>81542
I'll try this next unless there's something else. I don't want to damage it yet in case it explodes or something.

>>81848
KILL IT FIRE

DO IT

>>81848
Look, if you're gonna keep poking at it anyways, you might as well just stuff it up your ass right now and get the alien rape over with quicker.

>>81848
You stupid suicidal dusty bitch.
Check your first aid kit for something to help you with that useless thing.
Preferable something to cover the madness stalks, rubber gloves and some tape maybe.
Anything except touching it with your over sized nose.

>>81848
looks like spawn ... maybe it's an egg sack
can you pull out one of these things and open it? ...

oh i hope they're not tentacles or stings

Suggestion 2009/11/26(Thu)16:44 No. 81864 ID: 88d217
File 125928264431.jpg - (130.00KB , 733x600 , turn joor head und cough.jpg )

I've got nothin to start a fire with.
>>81851
You're the type of psuedo-faggot that likes to have his shit pushed in while you're fuckin a lady, aren't you?

>>81853
Whoa there needle dick! Didn't your momma ever teach you not to talk to a fuckin lady like that?
It so happens that I do have some duran gloves in my kit, though. Fucker.

>>81864
I sure know how to talk to a Lady, show me one and you'll see.
Be careful not to damage the gloves with your stupid claws. Any scissors or scalpels to work on it in your kit? And you'll need something to store the stuff you'll extract, pillbox maybe.

All for some dope you don't even really need.

Suggestion 2009/11/26(Thu)17:13 No. 81872 ID: 88d217
File 125928439250.jpg - (104.22KB , 762x509 , thing2.jpg )

>>81867
Oh, you're blind as well as an asshole? I guess I shouldn't make fun of the handicapped, then.


OK when all three of the nodules are pressed this long-ass tube thingy shoots out of the top.

try uh..dipping it in water.

>>81864
heh lady or not ... that are beautiful blue eyes

>>81872
Well, if I was blind I couldn't see your nice blue eyes.
Getting really dangerous now, looks like some kind of Ovipositor to me. Grab it and try to redirect whatever comes out of it in some kind of container. You prepared one like I told you, right?

>>81872
wow touching that with your nose would've been fun
i wonder what happens if you fill something in it ... maybe the juice of the cutebold

Suggestion 2009/11/26(Thu)17:53 No. 81889 ID: 88d217
File 125928681727.jpg - (94.31KB , 762x509 , thing2.jpg )

OK let me gra- Aw shit! It went back in when I took my finger off! Dammit why can't things ever be simple?

I'm not too sure what to do here. I'm not putting it in my mouth, before any of you sick fucks get that idea.

well you could cooperate with the kobold..he's going to have to sit on your shoulders though.

>>81889
wake the cutebold and lift him on the wall,
he can fill it with something or push the nodules for you

>>81891
If the kobold is put on top of the wall itself so he's above the purple thing, he can manipulate the tube so it falls into the well.

Suggestion 2009/11/26(Thu)19:00 No. 81904 ID: 88d217
File 125929084957.jpg - (106.00KB , 762x509 , thing2.jpg )

Well the recalcitrant little nosefucker doesn't want to touch it. He's "Scared" of it.

And me without a hand free to point a gun at him, damn.

Tell him you wont beat him savagely, which is a much more frightening thing. if he does it.

>>81904
Is he scared of the tube, or the whole thing? Perhaps he is willing to push the nodule your right hand is pressing?

>>81904

isn't there a tweezer or forceps in that medikit for that little coward?

he can still take his juicebox and put the drinking straw in the tube

>>81904
You just have to be even scarier than the purple thing, I'm sure you can manage that.
Show him your most charming smile.

>>82126
Then say "We can do this the easy way or the fun way."

Suggestion 2009/11/27(Fri)08:26 No. 82149 ID: 88d217
File 12593391603.jpg - (23.14KB , 1000x600 , well1.jpg )

I tell him if he doesn't stick that thing in his canteen I'm gonna come up there and beat the shit out of him. That seemed to work. He says it is sucking the water out.

>>81875
Why thank you! This is how a gentleman behaves.

>>82149

It's probably an Illithd pod with tadpoles. And that 'hose' is for hydrating it.

In other words = UH OH

Suggestion 2009/11/27(Fri)08:30 No. 82151 ID: 88d217
File 12593394518.jpg - (107.55KB , 762x509 , thing2.jpg )

> a secret has been revealed!
A clear red bead grows out of the thing but then it stops.

>>82151

Try grabbing it?

That better not be a dick growing(i'm assuming it's a sack of water or something growing actually.), anyway it seems to need more water to fill it up so chuck the tube down the well.

>>82151
Get another bottle of water in the thing.

Try to control the growth. Water not from the well, only the vermin.
Can you, or your food, pull the bead out? Several small ones might be better than a single big.

>>82151
yeay tiny red balls ... try to make more
if it's possible let the bold eat one.
if it's not eatable ... pack it away for later.

Suggestion 2009/11/27(Fri)13:21 No. 82212 ID: 88d217
File 125935691879.jpg - (118.91KB , 1000x600 , blobthing.jpg )

Using the canteen is a pain in the ass, I just get him to throw the fucker in the well. The bead swells up slowly into some kinda fucked up blob thing or something.

..what were we doing again..

>>82212

I don't like the look of this. Is it solid? Is it some kind of a bladder?

Try dissecting it with a knife

BECOME ONE WITH THE BLOB

>>82212
nice ... a gigantic water sucking Tick ...
how is that supposed to be useful?

Why are you even messing around with that shit?
Don't cut it or anything crazy, get a sample with a syringe and test it on the boldling to see what happens

>>82212
It looks delicious. Take a bite and tell us how it tastes.

Keep an eye on that cutebold

Suggestion 2009/11/27(Fri)13:53 No. 82223 ID: 88d217
File 125935879118.jpg - (137.94KB , 1000x600 , i have a blob.jpg )

Ok I can just pull it off, it's like a big blob of some kinda thick gel like stuff, don't know what the fuck it is exactly. I can cut it and smell it, or make the kobold eat it, and see what happens.

>>82223
Feed it to the Kobold.

Cut it up, poisoning the cutebold wouldn't be very productive.

>>82223
i don't think walking around with it would be intelligent ... try feed it the bold

>>82225

Cut it up. Wasting it on our little bitch would be stupid. Who will help us navigate?

Besides we'll possibly need him later as our war thropy

Cut it up and drink/eat it.

>>82233
don't drink/eat it first ... the cutebold could try to kill you if it's poisonous

Suggestion 2009/11/27(Fri)14:51 No. 82236 ID: 88d217
File 12593622604.jpg - (111.51KB , 1000x600 , eat it faget.jpg )

Ok he's not gonna want to eat this shit.

>>82236
dude it looks yummy. I'd do it.

>>82236
Grab his crotch to make him squeal - that's when you stuff it in his mouth.

Just hope it doesnt give him superpowers or someone else is going to be leading this escapade.

Seriously though. Why are we trying to kill our navigator?

>>82236
Give him a really small dose, it's a very small vermin. This way whatever happens won't be as extreme.
be ready to put him down if he really goes berserk or something.
And not wanting to is no option for him.

>>82236
Take a sniff.

>>82241

Strip him down and tie him then for safety

>>82236
that stuff won't give him super powers ... you're still greater and stronger even if he goes Bad shit crazy

Pinch his nose, force it in his mouth when he gasps for air.

Suggestion 2009/11/27(Fri)17:01 No. 82276 ID: 88d217
File 125937010522.jpg - (119.02KB , 560x579 , they have to do the same thing with vegetables.jpg )

>>82237
>>82238
>>82239
>>82240
>>82241
>>82242
>>82244
>>82245

Oh, I'll tie him up and give him a bit of it and- eh, fuckit.

Eat this shit and let's see what happens!

Totallynotsamefag!!V1AJL5LzHl 2009/11/27(Fri)17:04 No. 82278 ID: 8ec3f9
File 125937026737.jpg - (8.19KB , 199x192 , Science mother fuckers.jpg )

>>82276
this is kinda hot.

>>82276

He will thank us later. Observe what happens.

Also: you forgot the pants.

In most quests, we have too much sympathy for way too many things. In this one, we're essentially torturing a short, cute, nazi. I approve.