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File 125719650890.jpg - (29.99KB , 549x536 , newtitle.jpg )
71660 No. 71660 ID: 7ce0ea

177 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 73597 ID: 15f6d6

See if you can't drag them off behind the rocks or something. We need to get hid before the Germans show up.
>>
No. 73599 ID: f4963f

>>73592
Aw, poor badgertaur. XD

Yeah, let's take this somewhere where the GEHMANS won't detect us.
>>
No. 73601 ID: 7eda8b

Okay, that's enough. Say "Non! Non!" and pull away. We have to find ze Germans.
>>
No. 73603 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762440934.jpg - (28.07KB , 620x600 , flirty.jpg )
73603

"Putain Voltaire, pourquoi pensez-vous de toujours laisser les laides pour moi?"

---

You struggle free of the Frenchman's grasp.
>>
No. 73607 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762480479.jpg - (33.75KB , 620x600 , proposal.jpg )
73607

The Frenchman drops down on one knee and produces a ring.

"Voulez-vous me marier, Marie?"
>>
No. 73617 ID: f00ef0

>>73607
gasp
say i do
in french
>>
No. 73621 ID: f4963f

>>73607
Where can we even get married in Hell?

... WHO CARES. Accept proposal.
>>
No. 73624 ID: ee2dfc
File 125762566563.jpg - (36.32KB , 620x600 , kierkegaardisdanish.jpg )
73624

The ground begins to tremble and a low rumble drowns your words.

The Germans have arrived.
>>
No. 73628 ID: ee2dfc

Oh and also, last update for today.
>>
No. 73635 ID: 476456

THATS NOT A WHEELBARROW! THATS NOT A WHEELBARROW AT ALL, OH GOD!
>>
No. 73636 ID: 7eda8b

Remember that Germans are immune to MERCY, PITY, and COMPASSION, and are highly resistant to ENEMY INNOVATION, but are weak vs MECHANICAL FAILURE and AUTHORITY.

Yell "HALT!" in your loudest and most assertive voice, practiced in the art of attention-getting from countless drama-filled cons. In their distraction, throw a rock into the smokestack.
>>
No. 73657 ID: 7eda8b

We also need to consider whether getting our legs back is good enough to abandon a romance with Voltaire. Is that a price we are willing to pay?
>>
No. 73707 ID: f4963f

>>73657
>Getting legs back vs marrying Voltaire

I now declare you husband and hat? :D
>>
No. 73733 ID: af3e6d

>>73636
HALT! HAMMERZEIT!
>>
No. 76042 ID: fa673e
File 125804149175.jpg - (60.38KB , 620x600 , g1.jpg )
76042

The trembling paw was extended promptly.
A fragmented voice of queer bestial nature uttered a command to halt.
The goliath of iron obliged not until the very last moment, when it abruptly came to a stop, showering the audience with loose gravel and bitter engine fumes.
Two pairs of inquisitive eyes fell upon the quivering canine form caught in the middle of this bizarre play.
>>
No. 76043 ID: f4963f

>>76042
Greet ze Gehrmans!

Tell them that you're interested in their thoughts on empiricism.
>>
No. 76044 ID: 547e3f

>>76042
Forget begging for mercy, Germans don't even know the meaning of that word.
You have to keep a brave but still subservient stance, this way they might accept you as a noble savage.
>>
No. 76045 ID: d8aa80

Insist that it is a categorical imperative that you count as a person because of your ability to reason, and you therefore may not be run down where you stand.
>>
No. 76046 ID: fa673e
File 125804316292.jpg - (47.10KB , 620x600 , g2.jpg )
76046

"And who speaks philosophy under the guise of the wolf and what is the lamb of his desire?"
>>
No. 76050 ID: 5a9e00

um... wheelbarrow inspector?
>>
No. 76051 ID: f4963f

>>76046
Ask them if they've ever dreamt of the blue flower.
>>
No. 76053 ID: d8aa80

Say your name is Oliver, and he should know that the guise is unimportant as long as we are capable of exercising our reason.
>>
No. 76055 ID: fa673e
File 125804525097.jpg - (62.29KB , 620x600 , g3.jpg )
76055

"To don the cloak of a Romantic and sample the profane of the Dionysian? Lo, here comes Oliver speaking with the tongues of Goethe and the evil old Kant! But pray tell, why should we remain, when there is much work to do? Two confused Britons require the attention of our iron-clad thesis materialised!"
>>
No. 76056 ID: 547e3f

>>76055
Look dumbfounded.
>>
No. 76057 ID: fa673e
File 125804644745.jpg - (45.00KB , 620x600 , g4.jpg )
76057

"Will you stop talking to hats, you raving lunatic? And for the last time, we are not gonna run the British team over."

The grinding cacophony of the gears permeated the still air of the Inferno.
As if caught with a fit of palsy, the great machine begun to shake again, coughing and vomiting noxious fumes.
>>
No. 76058 ID: d8aa80

Tell him god obviously isn't too dead if he's where he is now. Ask him how that makes him feel.
>>
No. 76059 ID: 5a9e00

Tell them the british took a shortcut. Point off in the wrong direction.
>>
No. 76060 ID: f4963f

>>76057
Tell him that you are an extremely comfortable hat, as a matter of fact. We are not content merely being any old hat.
>>
No. 76061 ID: 5a9e00

We are the ideal form of the hat, ala plato, and demand to be treated with respect.
>>
No. 76062 ID: f4963f

>>76061
THIS. We are Descartes' deontological hat. INFORM THEM AS SUCH.
>>
No. 76063 ID: fa673e
File 125804788640.jpg - (46.57KB , 620x600 , g5.jpg )
76063

"I am dead and I am here, why should God be an exception? And so have died the tired and outdated ideas of my predecessors, it would seem! Oh, Oliver the Hat of Useless Theories, you fill me with schadenfreude! Schopenhauer, I must have this hat!"
>>
No. 76064 ID: f4963f

>>76063
I see nothing wrong with this.

Say that we'll be glad to be worn as long as Badgertaur can hitch a ride as well. <3
>>
No. 76065 ID: d8aa80

This is perfect! We can cover his eyes an an opportune moment. Plus, we will already be inside!

Tell him you are the overman, by virtue of you being a hat and all.
>>
No. 76067 ID: 5a9e00

Explain that we cannot be on any head inferior to the head of the ubrmencsh we currently adorn, namely badgertaur. And as such we cannot go unless he takes badgertaur with us.
>>
No. 76068 ID: d8aa80

>>76065
I was more implying that by virtue of being a hat, we are always over (ie on top of) man.
>>
No. 76069 ID: 5a9e00

>>76068
Except when the hat is taken off, of course.
>>
No. 76070 ID: fa673e
File 125804916998.jpg - (47.84KB , 620x600 , g6.jpg )
76070

With a triumphant giggle, Oliver the Hat was relocated and his former bearer placed on the Engine.

Only a choking cloud of dust was left to accompany the heartbroken Frenchmen.
>>
No. 76071 ID: fa673e
File 125804924456.jpg - (48.68KB , 620x600 , g7.jpg )
76071

Oliver's Inferno is TBC.
>>
No. 76072 ID: f4963f

>>76070
FUCK YES.

NIETZSCHE IN A WOLF HAT.

FUCK YES.
>>
No. 78739 ID: fa673e
File 125858258561.jpg - (36.25KB , 620x600 , e1.jpg )
78739

[Epilogue]
(This part of the quest is not interactive)

"Yeah, I saw him. The bastard."
>>
No. 78740 ID: fa673e
File 12585826493.jpg - (35.94KB , 620x600 , e2.jpg )
78740

"Dog Man destroy Mishka's bar!"
>>
No. 78741 ID: fa673e
File 125858269632.jpg - (40.56KB , 620x600 , e3.jpg )
78741

"BLBLBLB"
>>
No. 78743 ID: fa673e
File 125858274542.jpg - (25.66KB , 620x600 , e4.jpg )
78743

"Squeek."
>>
No. 78745 ID: fa673e
File 125858293762.jpg - (38.48KB , 620x600 , e5.jpg )
78745

"Yes! I can smell you! I can smell you Oliver Green!

You have caused more mayham in Hell than anyone before! For this, I will make your suffering trifold!

None will escape me! None!"
>>
No. 78757 ID: fa673e

[End of Part 2]
>>
No. 78779 ID: dcc3f3

>>78745
Wait a sec... He made people in hell sad... Shouldn't you be pleased with him?
>>
No. 78783 ID: cf407a

>>78779
I heard Hell is really big on irony.

Track him down Anubis! Force him to watch live action Disney movies for eternity.
>>
No. 78794 ID: 632862

>>78783
You're forgetting the protagonist is a huge furry. I don't think he'd mind that much.
>>
No. 78841 ID: cf407a

>>78794
Fine fine, straight porn videos featuring human males and females going at it in the missionary positions using condoms.
>>
No. 78844 ID: 5d5878

>>78841
You sick fuck. Why do they let you people on the internet?
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