Apollo 2015/10/04(Sun)20:02 No. 674871 ID: defceb
File 144401416574.png - (57.89KB , 551x530 , c002.png )

“Hey, slow down. Newbloods up.” The person (?) sitting in front of me bursts into a frenzied pace as they shuffle out of their seat belt and spin around. “Hey. You! Yeah, I’m talking to you. Did you take your pills yet?”

I nod. “hahHHAHahhHA- ahem, good. They should be kicking in soon. The mixture is a little lighter so you shouldn’t get any of the side-effects the others got. That said, if you start to see weird shit, don't worry. And by don't worry I mean freak the fuck out.”

“Get your ass outta’ my face.”

“Kiss it.”

“If you move any closer I’ll bite it first.”

“RIght here? While the newblood watches? Kinky~”

“Maybe I’m into that.”

“Aww, come on, you’re scaring the newbie! See, they’re all nervous! Look, kid, relax. Remember, nobody there is going to be judging you tonight. They’re all going to be too busy wrapped up in their own business. Just wear something comfy, relax a little, and remember to have fun.”

Just go in and order enough water to fill your stomach, get this over with.

Apollo 2015/10/04(Sun)20:03 No. 674873 ID: defceb
File 144401422736.png - (77.39KB , 796x475 , c003.png )

“Speaking of wearing something comfy, I left you a bunch of clothes and two kits in back. Go ahead and put on something you like! But nothing red! Never ever pick the red kit! That’s my color!”

“Green’s mine. Don’t pick those either.”

Pick one!

Police Brutality:
A handgun, a nightclub, and a polaroid camera. The lens has been fucked around with so you can take selfies on the fly!

Homeland Defense:
Comes with a shotgun, five rounds, and a security camera! The security camera has a little strap so you can wave it around like a handicam. Perfect for home movies!

Newblood? What kind of organization did we recently join?

Tell red his forehead-eyes look delicious, like little jelly beans.

HOMELAAAND!

Homeland defense, let's make some home movies. Out of curiosity what was included in the kits we aren't allowed to choose?

Blue, blue...

>>674873
Blue

Obviously police, come on.

Homeland defense, baby!

Thread music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2yQJGQYLCM

Homeland defense, orange is your colour.

nothing beats orange

Homeland Defense, that security camera can be used to look around corners!

got to love the shotgun

HOMELAND!

Apollo 2015/10/05(Mon)01:07 No. 674948 ID: defceb
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“I’ll take the Homeland Defense. Orange is more my color.”

“Ohhh, fierce, FIERCE! You look like a tiger!”

“And those jelly beans on your head look tasty”

“hahahhAHHAHAHAHHAhAHwhuAuhwhaHAHHAAHHAhahaahaHAH”

Apollo 2015/10/05(Mon)01:07 No. 674949 ID: defceb
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“Calm down, Bucky”

“They said I look tasty! Don’t I look delicious?” Drool pours out of their open maw. Wasn’t that a mask…?

“We’re here.”

“Leave it to Becky to ruin all my fun. This is your first run kid, and it’s a solo show! It’s a 3-story building and the game isn’t over until you’ve cleared it from TOP to BOTTOM. Even the basement floors! We’ll be on your radio the whole time if you need help.”

“The talking kind, not the shooting kind.”

“So what’s your big plan?”

>>674949
Gonna need info on the layout of the building to get a plan going. How many targets? Where are the exits? Stairwells?

Burn it all down!

>>674949
Who says we need to FIGHT? cant we offer MERCY and just take all their money the ned kelly way?

Tell them your heads a bit fuzzy right now, so could they do you a solid and remind you what it is you're supposed to be doing here. Also look at the claws digging into the chair unless that's also part of the mask this is probably one of the hallucinations, and as you've already been told if you see any hallucinations just go ahead and freak the fuck out.

>>674949
I think I'll just pull the fire alarm. That'll clear the building quick, right?

Is there a fire escape? Go up that an do the building from the top down. What happens if the police show up?

Plan? Come on.
Hallucinations? Get a grip.

Nonlethal takedowns until you're spotted. You'll tie them up and lead them outside to be dealt with.

We hook the camera to our collar. Give the viewers at home an eye's eye view.
Kick the door in, use our shootgun as a beatstick when we can, a gunstick when we can't.
Bet you we're in and out in five.

>>675003
>>674981
>>674958
What the [color=#orange]fuck[/color] are you guys thinking? Don't you understand? We need to teach these idiots the true meaning of [color=#orange]violence![/color] Non-lethal is the [color=#orange]pussy[/color] way! We need to prove ourselves to our new peers here as the [color=#orange]crazy motherfucker[/color] we are! Not a single person should be left as anything more than a [color=#orange]mutilated corpse![/color] But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself, we do this systematically, kill them one at a time, ya'know, all stealthy like. No one will know we were there until we've already left every room [color=#orange]covered in blood.[/color]

>>674949

Welcome to fucked up.

Population: You.

Anyway, plan's to go in through a basement floor window, then go up from there, clearing rooms as I go. Want to be thorough, so nothing can get by or come up from behind me.

Also, I hope those claw marks in the car seat are coming out of your hide, not mine.

starting from the vary bottom and working our way up starting in the basement if we can find a way into that level first. choke holds and knockouts until we get caught, then boom-stick and boom-bat. going to start slow and speed it up as soon as i get seen.

go in loud, don't be a pansy. make some noise.

Apollo 2015/10/06(Tue)23:38 No. 675228 ID: defceb
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"I think my heads a little fuzzy from the pills..."

"Get a grip!"

"Won't the police come in as soon as there's shooting...?"

"Let us worry about it!"

"I'll uh... I'll start from the top then. Work my way down. Maybe I can hook my camera up to my collar, too. First-person video and all that."

"Ha! Clever! Have fun!"

---

Who the hell builds a fire escape out of a bunch of rusty old ladders these days. This is dumb. And probably unsafe. Noisy as hell, too. What were those pills even supposed to do?

Top floor. Finally. Sounds like there's a person on the other side of this window already.

Apollo 2015/10/06(Tue)23:38 No. 675229 ID: defceb
File 144419990691.png - (147.35KB , 626x804 , c007.png )

Tap tap

Apollo 2015/10/06(Tue)23:38 No. 675230 ID: defceb
File 144419991603.png - (172.35KB , 626x804 , c008.png )

"Hello?"

Smash his face in with the butt of the shotgun, lean through the window and blast anyone else in sight. Then execute the face-butted guy and start moving.

pointblank headshot is the only option

Bash his head is.

Use the window and SMASH HIS SPINE. This will trap him so that you can perform a nonlethal takedown with multiple places to stash the body.

Apollo 2015/10/07(Wed)00:06 No. 675238 ID: defceb
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>Smash his head in

Bam! I land a clean blow to his head!

"Hey Bill what was that noise- WHAT THE FUCK?"

Whoops, must've been another in the room.

>>675238
Shoot 'em!

Quickly shoot the other guy. Then jump through the window and get moving before anyone else con determine your exact location

200 points SUCKS, you should go for takedowns on solo targets to earn the full 1000!

Also, I don't think that you should go loud just yet. Hold the other enemy hostage and perform a melee takedown while his hands are up.

Remember, you can throw weapons to stun enemies.

Apollo 2015/10/07(Wed)01:11 No. 675250 ID: defceb
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I leap in and pop them. Four shots left, I think. Did people always bleed those bright colors?

My radio pops to life.

"Hey! Hey! I heard that gunshot! Did you die? Are you dead?"

"They couldn't answer if they were dead."

"The last guy said something!"

"I don't count 'uuuhhghghghhhhhhhhhhhhhgh' as something."

>>675250
"Two down."

Listen for incoming hostiles. If nobody's immediately nearby, pop your head into the next room/hallway to see what's what.

We have to continue ambushing people. Ambushing people as they're coming in/out of rooms works fine. Don't be afraid to slam doors into people if you can.

I have a very scary suspicion. Ya know in Watchdogs there's that augmented reality shooting game. Imagine that mixed with Manhunt.
What if the pills make us think we're killing what ever the fuck we think we're killing but we're actually killing other dudes like us or just random civies in their own homes?



Naaaa that's probably just the pills talking. Tea bag that guy.

"Hey! Hey! I heard that gunshot! Did you die? Are you dead?"

so some other people in this building might also have guns, lets keep some rounds for those guys. that way we wont get......outgunned. keep moving and make sure to pick up any other guns we come across.

>>675252

so, hotline miami?

also "where fine, but two other dudes aren't"

Keep moving, quick but cautious. Don't lose that combo window.

"im BIITCHIIIIIIIIIIIIN', guys!"

>"You okay?"
Yeah, boyee! Just some stiff resistance out the gate is all.

We keep going! Quickly identify if they have any neon-soaked guns to steal, if no, keep going. Can't lose that combo!

>Hey! Hey! I heard that gunshot! Did you die? Are you dead?"
just painting the walls a little. Hell I never knew there were so many colors of blood. One minute there's a guy and the next, BAM, the wall is now a rainbow. It's like a just exploded a leprechaun.

head down and make sure to check your corners. You might not be the only guy with a gun.

>>675250
I think the drugs they gave you are absolutely batshit insane, kill as much as you can before you start to feel emotions which would hinder this activity and black out from the stress.

"I feel more alive than ever, just need to get a grip."

>Did people always bleed those bright colors?
They must be aliens. Tell Mr. Talky-noises there's two aliens down. Also, ask them if they can't do any shooting to draw fire or something.

Set up an ambush for anyone who enters the room to investigate, quick. Also, loot bodies.

>Hey! Hey! I heard that gunshot! Did you die? Are you dead?
Yes.

Remember to steal a fortune from their apartments after you're done neutralizing everyone in the building.

Once again, please try to perform nonlethal takedowns, or at least executions, on solo targets. They should be worth 1000 points and look badass.

still here, room's clear. I'm okay dear.

Pretty colors... If this room is clear, peek out the door.

In the most sarcastic tone you can manage say "No mom, I didn't die yet."

Apollo 2015/10/08(Thu)16:04 No. 675477 ID: defceb
File 144434544233.png - (142.83KB , 688x443 , c011.png )

"No Mom, I'm not dead yet." I reply, earning some sweet sassy points. "Just painting the walls."

Bucky laughs into the radio, though it comes across as static mess. Weirdo.

>Can't lose that combo!
Yeah!

>I have a very scary suspicion. Ya know in Watchdogs there's that augmented reality shooting game. Imagine that mixed with Manhunt.
>What if the pills make us think we're killing what ever the fuck we think we're killing but we're actually killing other dudes like us or just random civies in their own homes?
Uh...

>Naaaa that's probably just the pills talking
Y-yeah?

>Don't be afraid to slam doors into people if you can.
YEAH!

I rush over and slam the door open, knocking someone on the other side to the floor. Got them!

...but not their friends.

>>675477
See if you can take out both with one shotgun shot. Then be sure to videotape you beating the shit out of the guy you knocked down.

Club the right one into the left, slam them both against the wall, then get them with one shotgun blast. Bonk the doorman.

Shoot one guy, don't even chamber another round before bashing the other guy's head. Then kick in the head of the guy who got door'd.

>>675477
"Help guys there's this crazy guy shooting people!"

Then shoot them.

Tell them you're here to check the ventilation. Then ventilate them.

"Yo! Didn't anyone tell you guys this was a range fight not melee!?"
One and two and don't forget the doored guy.

there standing next to each-other, you are holding a scatter weapon, hit both of them with one shot! then kick the other guys head into the wall.

>>675477
CRAP. Man, it sucks when that happens.

Luckily we got the pause function in this quest, so here's what you need to do:

IF your gun is unloaded, calculate the risk of throwing your gun at one of the twins, proceeding to punch the other one in the face. If you can do all of that with relatively small risk, then you can save on ammo and perform three takedowns in a row!

OTHERWISE, you have a SHOTGUN. Perform a double kill using the bullet spread and then perform a lethal/nonlethal takedown on the stunned guy.

Apply SHOOTGUN to somewhere between the batter boys. Hopefully that should get their arms, leaving you ample time to put your boot through the face of the man on the floor!
Afterwards, take one of their bats, finish them off. Easy peasy.

This is such a fun team-building exercise. I'm glad we found these guys.

Apollo 2015/10/08(Thu)19:20 No. 675517 ID: defceb
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"I'm here to check the ventilat-" Whoops I'm dead. My corpse seizes up and blasts one of the two, though.

Pick one!

For God, Queen, and Country
You get a greatsword and knight's tabard!

Once Upon a Time in the West
A pair of revolvers! Comes with six shots in each. Shoot twice as many people! Shoot one person twice as much!

>>675517
For God, Queen, and Country!

Apollo 2015/10/08(Thu)19:35 No. 675519 ID: defceb
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>Don't be afraid to slam doors into people if you can.
YEAH!

I rush over and slam the door open, knocking someone on the other side to the floor. Got them!

...but not their friends.

>>675517
Obviously you need to pick the one who killed you. They're the one that deserves to be your successor! (I think that's purple?)

Pick up headset.

"Now I'm dead, Bucky. Also decorating the walls."

>>675519
Do a zelda sword spin and kill em all at once!

>>675519
Do the most anime sideslice possible

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Slash two, stab the one.

Apollo 2015/10/08(Thu)20:29 No. 675528 ID: defceb
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>Do the most anime sideslice possible

Got 'em!

>>675528
Okay now do the thing where you tell them you died.

>>675528
Keep moving! Don't think about where the greatsword came from.

Run to the nearest hallway and slice the ensuing horde as they stupidly run to your position one by one!

scream "THERE CAN BE ONLY WAAAAAAAAN!" at the top of your lungs

Oh, you knocked the guy on the floors head clean off. Take it with you. Next guy you see; you throw it at him and shout 'catch.' Then while he's fumbling with it you take him out.

Apollo 2015/10/10(Sat)23:40 No. 675939 ID: defceb
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>Keep moving! Don't think about where the greatsword came from.
OKAY! Not thinking about it!

>Oh, you knocked the guy on the floors head clean off. Take it with you.
Gross. I take it.

>Run to the nearest hallway and slice the ensuing horde as they stupidly run to your position one by one!
>scream "THERE CAN BE ONLY WAAAAAAAAN!" at the top of your lungs
I charge down the hallway shouting “THERE CAN BE ONLY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!”

….nobody else shows up. Lame. Looks like there’s a fire escape plan to show me a map of the floor, though. The room next to me is blasting loud techno music. Loud enough to cover the sound of the shotgun blast? Ha, that’d be unrealistic. I add a few notes to it anyway.

>Okay now do the thing where you tell them you died.

I go back onto the radio. “Hey I think I died.”

“You don’t sound dead. I think that means it’s wo-”

Becky cuts in. “You’re probably just tripping out. Don’t think about it too much.”

“Yeah what she said.”

>>675939
Go sneak up on whoever's in that room with the loud music. Try for a stylish kill.

Apollo 2015/10/10(Sat)23:52 No. 675941 ID: defceb
File 144454635209.png - (43.69KB , 403x509 , c016.png )

I try to sneak up on whoever is in the music room.

Oh.

That is a house party full of people.

sneak back out and start a fire near all the exits. That should get them all without putting to much risk on yourself.

Jam the door shut somehow, we'll come back to this when we find a can of gasoline or something.

>>675939
Also, what shotgun?

You've got a radio, don't you? Call mom.

>>675941
fucking shoot everyone

Screw your combo for now.

Go into stealth mode and find a way to place and detonate explosives on the dance floor.

Dammit we need grenades! If DH has taught me anything it's that grenades can solve any problem

Hrm. Tempting as it is to go ham we're gonna need to play this smart.
Good news is music obscures your noise, so maybe you can sneak around to turn off the lights, and then your righteous purge can begin!

I think it's time for a SPIN TO WIN!

:(
maybe come back to it later
or join the party? take a short break to dance.

Bar the door with the sword. We'll bring the house down on our way out.

>>675967
Don't use the sword, we need that to murder people.

Do you recognize the song? Anyways, look around the room for anything. Fire escapes, weapons, any advantages or weaknesses.

Swap masks with the disembodied head you're currently carrying around and infiltrate the party.

>>675941
Walk in, pretend you're part of the party.

Then when you reach the middle of the room flip the fuck out with the sword.

Clear the rest of the hallways with your sword. There's nothing in the rules that says you can't take the fallen's masks, right?

Apollo 2015/10/13(Tue)22:30 No. 676354 ID: defceb
File 144480060417.png - (91.18KB , 562x626 , c017.png )

>What shotgun?
The shotgun I used to-

...hm.

Apollo 2015/10/13(Tue)22:30 No. 676355 ID: defceb
File 144480062074.png - (88.03KB , 765x538 , c018.png )

You know what, I won’t even bother thinking about it. I push a couch in the way of this door, trapping all the partying people inside.

So! How about that other room?

>>676355
Yep. It's not loud so listen at that door instead. Get an indication of where people are there.

Actually nevermind just charge in there. If you die then we get to redo the situation with a more appropriate weapon.

Check it, and maybe radio in there's a room that you blocked off. Depends on if you guys are doing this for fun or something like getting paid to clear it out.

>>676355
Now that everyone is trapped, we need to start a fire or something in there.

Use the fire escape to get in.

Tell the radio you lost your shotgun, is that okay?

Attack through the fire escape entrance.

Apollo 2015/10/14(Wed)13:35 No. 676466 ID: defceb
File 144485494841.png - (145.62KB , 924x578 , c019.png )

"uhhhggg, this is boring. Why are we even stuck in here, again?"

Apollo 2015/10/14(Wed)13:36 No. 676467 ID: defceb
File 144485497766.png - (158.42KB , 924x578 , c020.png )

"Boss said one of those masked psychos is gonna pass through this building and we gotta pop 'em when they do. Simple as that."

Apollo 2015/10/14(Wed)13:36 No. 676468 ID: defceb
File 144485499747.png - (180.73KB , 924x578 , c021.png )

"This is silly. They're probably not even going to go into this room. We're wasting our time."

Slice through two with your first swing then hilt-slam the last one.

Don't hit the mounted machine gun. Use that to kill everyone in the party.

The mounted machine gun isn't much of an immediate threat since it would take them time to turn it around. Does the one on your left have a shotgun? I think that may be the first priority.

Swing from the guy with the shotgun, through the middle guy, to the assistant machine gunner. Use the machine gun and shoot through the wall with the party on the other side.

>>676468
Try to take out all 3 in one slash.

>>676474
Yeah, this. If you miss any of them you can perform a takedown, but right now all three are unaware, not stunned.

Stab the shotgun guy first, and the guy next to the machine gunner second or third depending on if he's armed.

Shishkebab 'em!

swing at neck level, take there heads off.

T-t-t-tripple kill.

Taunt kill x3 Killstreak

Apollo 2015/10/15(Thu)23:29 No. 676750 ID: defceb
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"Hey nerds." I taunt. The three whip around into my blow, knocking their heads off in a neat row- fuck I missed one. They're screaming their head off now.

>>676750
tackle him, extract info

Perform non-lethal takedown, tie him up, and THEN interrogate.

Get the machine gun.

Apollo 2015/10/15(Thu)23:56 No. 676757 ID: defceb
File 144497857317.png - (108.85KB , 517x471 , c023.png )

I tackle the survivor to the ground and he’s got

a fucking

knife

fuck that hurts


Select one!

The Candy Man
You get a bag full of assorted grenades and candy bars!

Mmph! Mmph mmph mmph!
A flamethrower and a gas mask!

OH BOY, FLAMETHROWER

Apollo 2015/10/16(Fri)00:06 No. 676759 ID: defceb
File 144497921557.png - (170.09KB , 924x578 , c024.png )

"Hey nerds- wait, where'd they go?" I taunt?

"Hey! Hey I'm not dead yet! You uh... wouldn't happen to know how to treat a stab wound, by the way?"

>>676759
Radio in that you appear to be meeting your own clone because you didn't quite die before respawning?

How did this happen.

"Staunch the bleeding? Shit, are we 2p now? sick."

Cauterize it.

Wait where's the guy you tackled? Grab shotgun, make sure he's dead.

The knife is still stuck in there right? Don't remove it, it'll make it bleed more. Bandage the surrounding area and then get immediate help.

Or keep cutting people with the knife in you.

>>676762
that will cause a right risk of infection.

keep applying pressure and make some bandages. try not to run around tell the bleeding stops

Apollo 2015/10/16(Fri)00:35 No. 676766 ID: defceb
File 144498093233.png - (131.21KB , 827x461 , c025.png )

>Wait where's the guy you tackled?
Looks like other me has got them in a choke-hold.

I bandage the wound and tell them to keep some pressure on it while I radio this in.

“Hey so I kind of died but didn’t and now I’m hanging out with myself.”

“Oh snap that means you unlocked…”

Apollo 2015/10/16(Fri)00:35 No. 676767 ID: defceb
File 144498094873.png - (160.69KB , 950x638 , c026.png )

“CO-OP MODE.”

“Hey I’m in the lead!”

“No fair, I just got here.”

“Git gud, scrub.”

>>676767
Well that score is going to seem pretty small after Orange barbecues the party room.

>>676771
Let's go in the other rooms first.
What rings you got bitch?

>git gud
Don't tempt me into teamkilling.

Remove mask, kiss your sexy self (mmmm, grape) and then let's go kill everyone.

touch fluffy tail

LAST ONE TO THE PARTY'S A ROTTEN EGG! p1 grab machine gun! p2 keep Flammenwerfer!

>>676774
Yeah, don't worry about backstabbing, you still win if one of you wins.

Go to the next few rooms, look for something to combine with the flamethrower for an explosion. Look for a leader to assassinate.

>>676774

>>676767
quest: devolve into copius furry butt-touching

Then you need to get burninating, player 2! Time to turn that RAVE into a GRAVE!
Player 1, try readjusting your mask. It's still a mask, right?

Player one, take the machine gun back out to the hallway and aim it at the barricaded door. Player two, circle around and werf some flammen at the house party's other entrance, driving panicked crowd into killzone.

>>676767
That pyro is a woman, calling it.

>>676919
This
>>676791

>>676816
Then make love to your own clone
>>676974

Apollo 2015/10/18(Sun)14:22 No. 677556 ID: defceb
File 144520335025.png - (68.66KB , 559x376 , c027.png )

>quest: devolve into copius furry butt-touching

Apollo 2015/10/18(Sun)14:23 No. 677559 ID: defceb
File 144520340477.png - (76.37KB , 731x493 , c028.png )

"Last one to the party is a rotten egg!" I shout and blitz out the room before other-me can respond.

Once down the hall I shove the couch out of the way and prep myself to barge in.

Here we go. Three, two-

Apollo 2015/10/18(Sun)14:23 No. 677560 ID: defceb
File 144520342798.png - (62.54KB , 621x350 , c029.png )

Other-me cuts in with the machine gun, shooting through the wall.

Those should be my points!

Fuck it. Just flame anyone who tries to come through that door.

>>677560
Shout "killstealer!" and then kick the door down and hose the room down with fire. Other-you probably didn't kill everyone, since he's firing blind.

Kick in the door and start throwing flame.

Flank to the back and get ready to burn the survivors.

New idea: skip the rest of the floors and burn the place down!

>>677914
But how will that entertain whomever it is we're recording the video for?

Apollo 2015/10/19(Mon)22:46 No. 678130 ID: defceb
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Yeah, fuck it. I kick open the door. One of those weirdos with a mask is chilling on the other side. "Hey, dude, what are you doing-"

I interrupt with a polite scorch.

Apollo 2015/10/19(Mon)22:49 No. 678131 ID: defceb
File 144532014976.png - (195.52KB , 922x616 , c031.png )

Then I let loose with the flamethrower! Not to be outdone by my other half, I paint over the surviving party guests with a curtain of flames. Somewhere between the music, the flames, the gunfire, and the screams I think... I think I'm actually enjoying this! HA! BURN! BURN BURN BUR- I don't think I have any means to stop the fire.

Uh.

The fire spreads rapidly throughout the room. Anybody who isn't already shot or burned to a crisp quickly catches fire as well.

If I don't get a move on, it'll probably catch me, too.

>>678131
It's ok fire likes to travel upwards, not downwards.

Time to go down a floor! let your partner know.

Yeah, use the fire escape and get to ground floor. Burn anyone who tries to leave while your partner takes the LMG and opens fire on the remainder at the basement.

What, you didn't pack fireproof clothing?
Oh well, move on and spread the joy to other rooms!

>>678134
This but instead just seat entire building on fire and get all the points
M-M-M-M-M-MONSTER KILL

We can't burn the place down yet, we have a basement to clear.

Time to get out!
Warn Purple if it's convienent, otherwise, head on down to floor two and continue the purge.

skip to floor one, burn the place down

you will get a multi-kill out of this world

Apollo 2015/10/20(Tue)15:46 No. 678363 ID: defceb
File 144538121371.png - (157.01KB , 714x1000 , c032.png )

I grab purple and shimmy down the fire escape.

“Who even builds ladders for fire escapes these days?”

“People who don’t want anyone to escape a fire?”

“Well it’s working. I’m still in the lead, by the way.”

“Screw you, how’d you even get 50 points?”

“Kill assist, nerd.”

Damn, other me is an asshole.

Apollo 2015/10/20(Tue)15:47 No. 678364 ID: defceb
File 144538122832.png - (134.86KB , 783x519 , c033.png )

Once we hit the ground we spot Bucky smoking on the curb. “Hey wonder twins!” He shouts between smoky giggles. “If it isn’t the crusader and- shit, you got a flamethrower? I never get that!”

“The proper term is flammenwerfer. I’m gonna werf some flammen all over this building and let it collapse on everyone.”

“I think that’s cheating. There might be plot or something on those floors.”

“Think of the kill combo, though.”

Bucky takes a long drag of whatever he’s smoking. “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, you’re right.”

Purple-you gets to guard the exits while you're burning the place down. Cut down anyone trying to escape.

Hug each other for a job well done!

Check the gamefaqs to see if there's any people of interest in this building. Of not, yeah, just bring it on down.
Wait how are we going to light a brick building on fire
Uh
Dont think about that thought

Orange is about to get all of the kills, there's no way you will be able to catch up to his score if he succeeds. Purple, once the fire is set engage PVP mode, eliminate the competition.

>>678364
Dude cmon let's find the plot or something.

Plot? Ah, you guys can just shoehorn that into the next building we clear, can't ya?

>>678369
The interior is full of flammable materials. Ignite it from the bottom up, and there'll be no escape. Except for the one we just used, I guess.
We need to get to the basement or find the fuel supply for the heating system from the outside.

The plot is that I'm plotting to burn down this building.

Alright fine, we'll go in the first floor and try and keep ahead of the flames. Purple needs to be patched up, though.

>step 1: complete mission

>step 2: contemplate selfcest

>step 3: profit

>>678546
You misspelled commit.

>>678570
Didn't say commit.

>>678615
Yes you did, you spelled it "contemplate".

I'm sorry if you aren't a native English speaker, that was a joke.

>>678630

I am a native English speaker. I did mean contemplate, not commit. I seriously thought you just wrong that read. : /

>>678684
The joke my friend, you're not quite getting it.

Plot? You think we are running around killing these masky guys we don't know anything about for plot?

>>678615
"You misspelled (other word entirely)" is a joke/meme meaning that the responder disagrees with your statement and would have instead said it with the other word.

>>678684
>>678732
Joke killed
+200 points!

>>678732
It's like if Someone says "Dudes check out my giant penis!" you can say "You misspelled tiny" or "you misspelled vagina"
also see FTFY

I now have 200 points after killing the joke.
Today was a productive day.

Apollo 2015/10/26(Mon)12:24 No. 679475 ID: defceb
File 144588749901.png - (157.82KB , 903x685 , c034.png )

“The plot is that I’m plotting to burn down this building.” I proceed to march around the building shooting fire into every window I can find. Once I’m satisfied the first floor is done, I bust open one of the basement windows and burn that, too. Now I just need to relax and let the tidal wave of points wash over me.

Apollo 2015/10/26(Mon)12:25 No. 679476 ID: defceb
File 144588752983.png - (49.07KB , 652x395 , c035.png )

“He’s going to get all the points.”

“I know.”

“Probably make leaderboard.”

“I know.”

“You could PVP to even the odds.”

>PvP
It's tempting, but but burning everyone to death is just too cool to mess up.

Also, orange you saved you when he could have let you knife die. That earns him one free not being stabbed in the back.

...maybe you can cut passing cars out of the road with your sword to compete. Or you can intercept and murder the fire department en route. You always wanted to drive one of those trucks.

Let him win this one, besides an friend like that could become useful.
Also are not curious how high the kill combo goes?

Nah man. Bros before KOs.

Also did you see him dancing around that building? He's like fifteen feet tall now bro I ain't fightin' that.

naw, if he's technically you then that means he's cool. Plus he did help you out earlier. Either way you can just kick beat his score next time and with a clone generally just fuck with people when you're not killing them.

Nah, man, I really couldn't. Rules of the cosmos: Paper beats rock, scissors beat paper, flamethrower beats sword.

How could you ever murder your self/best friend/lover?

Personally, I'm curious as to what happens when he overloads the score meter...

Let him live, see what happens.

is that really the attitude you want to instill in new recruits

Nah I wanna see how the system screws him over for trying to take advantage of it. He can't be the first person to try this kind of thing, and if the whole point is to entertain people this kinda thing probably has a harsh penalty.

Apollo 2015/10/28(Wed)15:51 No. 679932 ID: defceb
File 144607266396.png - (47.32KB , 650x441 , c036.png )

"Naw, I think this time I'll just let the little pyro have it.

Apollo 2015/10/28(Wed)15:51 No. 679934 ID: defceb
File 144607269010.png - (114.76KB , 1000x471 , c038.png )

New high scores! Input names: _________

>>679933
Told ya.

>>679934
P1: Squireblade (SqBld)
P2: Fu---

>>679934
1: Dong
2: 9999

Highlando and Pyroland.

1)GrapeSoda
2)Burninator9999999999999999999.... (put in as many nines as you can until you max the sting out)

>>679934
1. "[insert profanity of choice here]"
2. "Pyro'); DROP TABLE Scores;--"

1. and all I got was this knife wound
2. but a bitch ain't 1

1. dongs
2. jubblywubblies

>>679948

Anyone else really impressed with Bartleby for somehow getting 8,888,888,888?

P1=Church (because Templar)
P2=Diablo (because fire and being next to a holy man [of sorts])

I'm not an original man.

Dicer and Brimstone!

P1)ShitStain the eternal
P2)Hitler did nothing wrong

Timmy AppleCat and Fatty PeachDog

Apollo 2015/10/30(Fri)00:07 No. 680141 ID: defceb
File 144618882811.png - (38.15KB , 742x289 , c039.png )

>1. "[insert profanity of choice here]"
>2. "Pyro'); DROP TABLE Scores;--"
“Haha, really funny. Drop the score board. Now I have to get a new one, nerd.”

“Do I get bonus points for killing it?”

“Just get in the car.”

Apollo 2015/10/30(Fri)00:07 No. 680142 ID: defceb
File 144618884504.png - (138.72KB , 816x707 , c040.png )

YOU WIN

Clones killed - All of them
Cthulians burned - All of them in the building
Portals to Eldritch Realms Closed - Close enough/3
Necronomicons read - 0 / 1
Buckies killed - 0/1000
Tables Dropped - 1/1
Illuminati Plots Exposed - 0 / 3
Multiplayer - Yes
PVP - Naw
Quarters spent - 75c

RANK: Burning Hyena

>>680142
Where's the MY OWN CLONE achievement?

Driving off into the sunrise. Nice quest as always Apollo

>>679934
P1: Moonman
P2: Ben Garrison

>>680142
Make out in the backseat