>>
|
3bc92d.jpg
Mint Wind
3bc92d
“I am Pins and Needles, the Stupendous Onion Girl. I am completely invincible. I can shapeshift, but when I do, all of the parasites in my body cover my skin, and then my skin falls off. I fart a highly lethal and contagious form of tear gas. I can and will raise and control the cuils. I am a living voodoo doll. I make trees suplex people. Also, my hypnotic gaze and voice erases all memory of whatever happened since I began speaking, so I guess explaining the rest of my powers would be pointless.”
“Huh?” The reporter blinks. “Are you going to tell us about your powers or not?”
“It’s time for me to show you my powers in action.” Pins and Needles, the Stupendous Onion Girl opens her mouth and starts vomiting, her skin starts shifting around as parasites cover her mask, her flesh inverts and distorts.
“What - my liver! My liver is gone!” One of the people in the audience screams.
“I’m afraid your liver is now orbiting Betelgeuse.” Returgical man shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”
Suddenly, the reporter and everyone in the audience turns into copies of Returgical Man.
“Stop! Please, I beg you, stop this!” The Returgical Man who was once the reporter howls in horror.
“I’m afraid there’s no way to stop her now.” The original Returgical Man sheds a single tear. “In a minute or two, we’ll all be dead. After that, she shall reanimate our corpses and make love to them in a horrible orgy. When she’s done with that, she’ll have our corpses eat each other to see how they taste, then condemn us all to the nothing. This… this is the end. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
BUT THE SHOW HAD ITS BEST RATINGS EVER THAT DAY END, MOM’S SPAGHETTI/10
|