Install Bonzi Buddy.

Pinball 3d the only true answer!

Internet Explorer of course.

Pinball, of course.

Pinball for the win.

pinball

Johnny 2015/07/10(Fri)20:44 No. 654861 ID: 9fe7e1
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Was it even a debate? I hadn't played that classic pinball game in ages!! It was tubular, booting up that golden oldie and hearing those sick clicks and whirs like old times!!!1

But something weird happened when I pressed start. The game brought up a window I was pretty sure wasn't in the game last time I played it....

>DIFFICULTY SETTINGS
>>EASY
>>MEDIUM
>>HARD
>>REALISTIC
>>HR

Bottom of the list- right for the hardest difficulty. Anything less makes you a pussy.

>>654864
this

Johnny 2015/07/10(Fri)21:01 No. 654867 ID: 9fe7e1
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The retro classical gamer in me saw this as a challenge! I'd be a pussy if I didn't go for the hardest one, right? So I checked the HR box and clicked Continue.

>The screen faded to black before lighting to show some primo retro 3D grafix!!1 It looked like a bunch of astronauts or something sitting around in an office, all in that classic grainy 2000s 3D style (all you true gamers out there know the one1!! ;) ). There didn't seem to be anything happening or anything to control.... I focused, trying to think what radical gamer me would do in such a sticky spot....

Click all the things.

Johnny 2015/07/10(Fri)21:16 No. 654869 ID: 9fe7e1
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I'd played enough point and click games in my day to try and click on everything. I clicked the walls, the ceiling, the desks, the astronauts--

>"Hey!"

The camera turned and a little input line showed up on the bottom. I was staring at a spaceman that was crazily well rendered for the time, you might even call it hyper-realistic.

>"What're you nudging me for, cadet?" A text box read beside the man's head. The input line flashed. What was this, a chatbot or something? It didn't have much to do with pinball but my gamer curiosity was piqued!!! I reckoned I had to reply with something....

Greet him, and ask him what his favorite flavor of ice cream is.

Proceed to close the program. If the computer does not respond just unplug the whole thing.

Click it again.

Johnny 2015/07/10(Fri)22:04 No. 654874 ID: 9fe7e1
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Now this was interesting but a little weird. I thought about closing the program, but this was obviously some type of hacked game or something. My gamer curiosity and nostalgia radically combined!! I'd always wanted to be one of those gaming pioneers, exploring all the wild and zany corners of a hacked game and writing about it on my blog or something. I clicked at the astronaut again, right on his helmeted head.

>The guy's face scrunched up and he swatted at the mouse in that sorta laggy 2000s 3D style that we all grew to love (s/o to all my gamer pals out there1!!). "Cut it out! You need something?" the text box read.

>I didn't expect much from a word recognition thing like this, especially one from the 2000s. Jokingly I typed out, "Hi, what's your favorite ice cream?" and waited for the inevitable error message.

>"Strawberry. Why?"

>Radicocious!! It answered? It had to be just a little easter egg or something the creator added in, though. I thought about what sort of keywords I could ask to advance the...whatever all this was.

Ask about their purpose and name.

a very original creepypasta in the form of a quest!? BEAUTIFUL!

Close out of the program and go to IE and go to tgchan then install chrome, FireFox, or a sketchy browser that can't be problematic at all.

1/2 Johnny 2015/07/10(Fri)23:22 No. 654884 ID: ccfb4b
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>I started with the easy stuff. "What's your name?"

>"I'm Sergeant Dukane," the box read.

>"What's your purpose?"

>Now I swear it happened like this, I wasn't just seeing things. The character model's face seemed to...shift. It got more sad, and it was maybe a little spooky sort of but mostly just sad. "To die, I think," Dukane said after a second.

Well damn. That was sort of grim. Was this one of those feelsy hacks, like those Pokemon hacks where your Pokemon die permanently and you mourn them or something? I've always been pretty bad with feels when I don't have time to prepare.... I moved for the exit button--I'd play more of this later, with my ice cream and blanket and all that handy.

When my mouse was over the button that clunking sound came out the speakers. You hardcore retro gamers know the one, that satisfying clunk when you let the pinball go? It wasn't even loud but it made me jump, and I realized it was the first sound I'd heard from the game since this hack started.

>Dukane had jumped to his feet, his chair falling over. The other astronauts turned to stare. The message box turned a really creepy shade of red, and all it said was....

>"Not again...."

Nope nope nope, I exited out without waiting another second!

2/2 Johnny 2015/07/10(Fri)23:34 No. 654887 ID: ccfb4b
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That was sort of spooky but you know it *was* a hack, so I tried to let it slide. I'd come back to the game later, after I downloaded some essentials.

A wave of nostalgia crashed on my heart's shores at the sight of the good ol' IE7 window! I'd been through a lot with this old browser. I'd never been much of a TV fan, growing up. My childhood shows had been watched on here, Stupid Mario Brothers, Pure Pwnage, metric tons of anime and porn....

>And it had all started here, at the Google search bar!! I was torn over what my first search with this computer should be. I knew I hadn't been on tgchan for a bit, but I always liked using that quest plugin thing while browsing that page. I guessed downloading a different browser with plugin capabilities was my first priority, but which one?
>>Mozilla Firefox
>>Google Chrome
>>Google Ultron
>>Opera

choos teh dankiest 1 m080

>>654891
mor importentlee 1 thet [FaZe]xXxSwegbomber6669xXx wood yose

Johnny 2015/07/11(Sat)00:16 No. 654900 ID: 1f207c
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Of course I went for "teh dankest one" (haha, only you 2000s kids will get that one!11!). Ultron was installed with my usual setup, Adblock, Greasemonkey, an internet radio plugin, that tgchan browsing plugin. I felt almost a little guilty, not taking IE7 on a longer spin before dropping kt again, but you know, times change, you know.

>My guilt left as the radical vibe came back with this sense of freedom. The internet was at my fingertips, now! Where to go first was my only concern!

Your favorite (terrible) webcomic.

>>654993
Yes! sweet bro and hella Jeff!!

Johnny 2015/07/11(Sat)11:14 No. 655002 ID: 1f207c
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I might as well keep riding this nostalgia wave with a timeless classic, I thought!! I decided I'd read some classic, retro Housetrapped. It was a sick gem from my childhood and one of my guilty pleasures, even to this day1!!

I knew the website by heart, like any hardcore Housetrapped fan would. I loaded it up and braced for that radically timeless retro classic art to grace my eyes!!

But something was...off. I know I hadn't read up on the comic in years, but last time I read there hadn't been so much blood. There was pixellated blood on the title, on the search bar, on the corners of the panels. It was pretty scary.

>Before I could look at the latest comic update itself, the picture blacked out and was replaced by a disclaimer.

>"WARNING: Not suited for people under 18. Warned ya, dude."

>Well I was no kid anymore! I didn't even pay attention to that shit when I was little, and now? As an adult? I didn't need to worry about it at all. But still.... Something inside me was kind of spooked. That spook where you know you're going somewhere you shouldn't. Did I really need to read this now...?

Don't be a wuss, you wuss.

Johnny 2015/07/11(Sat)15:08 No. 655070 ID: 9fe7e1
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I shook the feeling fast. I wasn't a wuss or something, was I? I clicked the confirmation button.

I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

The first image looked like one of the comic's earlier panels, but...*off*, somehow. The comic's main character, John--heh, I remembered that I'd started to read the comic because I had the same name--was standing in his room. But he seemed so...sad. I swear this isn't creepypasta bullshit dude, this was real, and somehow that crudely drawn pixellated face really looked *sad*.

>The text below the image read "Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY.
>"Nobody remembered."

That's what else was off about the scene, there were no cakes! There were these really spooky cobwebs around John's room they should've been.... I was a little scared at the time but I kept reading.

>"You have no INTERESTS. You have no passions. You could leave today and nobody would notice, would they?
>"What will you do, John?"

>Now I know it's a little dumb since we had the same name but I couldn't shake this really creepy feeling that that question was addressed to me.... Pretty spooked now, I looked at the two advancing links at the bottom.
>>John: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer.
>>John: Kill yourself.

>>John: Quickly retrieve arms from drawer.
I like John ;-;

Might as well go for suicide, then, and see what changes from the standard story. Not like Homestuck can get any worse.

>>655099
>>655093
You know what? Click both links, but on different tabs.

Johnny 2015/07/11(Sat)17:05 No. 655137 ID: 9fe7e1
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My mind was still working on overdrive from my radical retro problem solving in that Pinball hack, it seemed! I got the idea to open *both* options, in different tabs. I clicked the suicide option first, then the normal one.

It was such a big mistake.

I clicked on the regular tab first and what I saw spooked me to the bone. The page was all black save for a little line of glowing white text.

>"NO DO-OVERS."

My stomach turned at the scary sight!! Something was off here, and prank or hack or whatever it was this comic was starting to get spooky. With a shaking hand I clicked the suicide tab.

It was a zoomed in version of the last panel, centered on John's face. Only now, his eyes looked even more sad, more worried, and little animated teardrops were falling down his cheeks.

>"You can't even do it. John is a COWARD. Such sad."

>There were two more options.
>>John: Do it, you fuck.
>>John: Check Presario.

>>655137
Check Presario. And check the Presario in real life, too... whatever that might entail.

>>655145
Yes. This pasta becomimg creepier..

>>655137
Save image to desktop, use MS paint to edit John happy. Screw the narrative.

Johnny 2015/07/11(Sat)19:35 No. 655189 ID: 9fe7e1
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My stomach turned as I clicked to check the computer. The next page was what seemed to be a flash animation. John was clicking his mouse as his eyes scanned the monitor. As he read, little email windows would fade in and out around his head.

>"Hey faggot I know where you live"
>"You're fucked at school tomorrow bitch"
>"PS not literally youd like that"

Lots of threats like those appeared, each one more violent than the last. The animation ended with John burying his head in his hands as a little pixellated pool of blue spread on his keyboard.

>The bottom text faded in as John continued crying over his computer. "You read through your mail. Same old, same old.
>"Reminder, your KNIFE is under the pillow."

I was spooked and upset to the max, now. I copied the image and put it in MS Paint to try and make the poor kid look happier. I nearly started bawling when I saw how my poor attempts were only making John look more depressed....

While I was still away from the spooky comic, an impulse told me to take a second to look over the PC. Nothing seemed wrong with it at all, only weird thing about it beimg maybe the serial number.

>Fighting spooked tears of fear and pity, I finally opened the browser window again. Once again, two options. Could I choose either, though? I was becoming a mess, all I really wanted was to close this all down and cool off....
>>John: FUCKING DO IT FAGGOT
>>John: Message Tulip.

Go watch some happy cute youtube vids, something like baby ducks or little kittens.

Do it.

Suggestion 2015/07/11(Sat)20:44 No. 655207 ID: a1ea4a

Well, if we don't do it, it will only get more depressing, and if we do it... Who knows what kind of horros we'll witness?

Johnny 2015/07/12(Sun)05:46 No. 655342 ID: 1f207c
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I wanted to leave, watch some Youtube videos or something, but I was spooked stiff. I don't know what made me do it, curiosity or pity or something. I told him to do it.

A new animation was on the next page. John walked got up and walked to his bed, looking at the ground. As he stood there this steady pulse started up, distorting and reforming the image, like a heartbeat.

>"You still won't do it.
>"You never did before.
>"John's still a COWARD."

>My heart was pounding and my stomach was doing fucking windmills.There were two more options. Was this for real?!
>>John: DON'T BE A PUSSY
>>John: Snap out of it, message Tulip

ctrl alt delete this bullshit. We out.

>hurr I dislike the premise of the quest
>instead of not reading I will try to invalidate it
>hurrrrrrrr

Fucking do it already and find out what happens.

Johnny 2015/07/13(Mon)04:11 No. 655631 ID: bc7df6
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I clicked the suicide option again. I was spooked stupid but I had to know what would happen.

The next panel still haunts me to this day.

It was another animation. Still crying, John reached under his pillow and pulled out a knife. He stared at it with this depressing look on his face for a long moment.

And then he started to stab himself!!

Red was pouring from him everywhere, out his eyes, his stomach, anywhere the knife went in! My stomach turned like a wheel going down a hill after some dick took it off a car and pushed it down a hill. It was so *real.* It was all shitty pixels, why'd it feel so real?! I almost threw up right then and there.

The view zoomed out a little bit as John finally started to slow down his stabbing. He sank to the floor of his room, the knife in his hand. Then his eyes closed.

I was crying by now from the horrorful sight, so I almost didn't notice when a new tab opened by itself. The little title on the tab read "END." I clicked it nervously, still spooked as hell.

It was a grainy photo of a bloody knife sitting on a carpeted floor. There was some text beneath it.

>"JOHN IS STILL A COWARD.
>"REMINDER: THE KNIFE IS UNDER YOUR PILLOW!!1"

>My spooked heart skipped a beat!! Acting on instinct I ctrl-alt-deleted the fuck out of there! I sat back in my chair, gasping for air. What did I do? What *could* I do?! That was so fucking spooky.
>While I struggled to digest the shit I just went through, I couldn't stop glancing toward my bedroom....

If there is a knife underneath your pillow, jam it into the monitor, throw your computer outside and dismantle it into its components, to be placed in various safes and containers. Do not forget to do the same to the remaining computer components.

Get an expert on this subject. Cybernatural is NOT a well-studied subject.

Johnny 2015/07/13(Mon)10:31 No. 655681 ID: bc7df6
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I shot up and bolted for my room. I burst in, ran to the bed, threw off the pillow--

THERE WAS A KNIFE UNDER THE PILLOW11!

I couldn't take this. I snatched it up and charged back into my computer room. I stabbed at the screen, screaming my spooked rage!

The knife shattered in my hand!!

>I staggered back with a yell! My right hand was ruined, metal bits were sticking out and it was running blood!!1 The monitor was perfectly intact, too. What the fuck was this?! What could I do?!

>>655681
Masturbate.

Gnaw through the computer cables. Obviously you'll be fine because you're narrating all this from the future.

>>655682

Open up TGchan to the quest about the haunted computer.

Stomp on the screen until it breaks.

Johnny 2015/07/13(Mon)15:09 No. 655731 ID: bc7df6
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I ran screaming back to my bedroom!! I didn't have any first aid around, and the blood was getting everywhere! The pain was unbearable11

I had to get rid of the pain somehow. I pulled down my pants with my good hand and tried to get it up; maybe jerking off would take my mind off it?! But I was too spooked, all I was doing was dripping blood on my dick!

I pulled my pants back up and ran back at that damned PC. I had to distract myself, the blood pain was going to kill me! I opened Ultron again and went on tgchan, trying to get to my favorite quest, one about this guy who had a haunted computer whose favorite quest was about this guy whose favorite quest was about this one guy whiokogffdhjkugfegjjfrgdshkojtggbktdgjkntsx

I pulled my pants up and ran back to that damned PC. I was spooked, I was bleeding, and I was fucking *pissed.* I kicked at the screen until I felt my toes cracking. The screen wouldn't give!!

Wait. The wires!! I went down and grabbed a handful. I was going to kill this thing, now!!1 I bit down hard!!

And then I became the ghosts.

THE END!!!

Uh, no.

Wake up and pour water into the room. Now.