Start a quest

Destroy the Kremlin.

go to #questdis and pour out your emotions

>>579512
Don't puke over everything!

Gather tiny animals and make them fight in a cage match.

Confuse people and falsely get their hopes up by mashing together characters from your finished / discarded quests.

And porn.

FRACTAL 2014/06/19(Thu)23:04 No. 579520 ID: c3ad33
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i already started a quest, i don't wanna fight the kremlin, and the only tiny animals in this house afre fleas (u think i'm joking. i'm not joking. tere are actyual fleas. help me)

i go on qyestdis and bitch about how gay all my characters are. somrone wants loretta porn! GROOSS

Make your quest character respond negatively to suggestions that they (you) find icky

Get lemons, cedar chips, and/or lavender buds. They repel fleas. Put them in small bags and leave them around.

>>579520

Fly on a spaceship of mashed potatoes to the city of gravy.

FRACTAL 2014/06/19(Thu)23:09 No. 579524 ID: c3ad33
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"im 17 u sickos"
also i make an anti-flea bag. it's like magic. no more fleas

(tyheere are fleas in real life)

>>579520
For the fleas you just have to vacuum more, spray pesticide at entrances or where you know they congregate, and maybe leave traps for them. If you have pets make sure they have flea medicine.

Okay so, what you should do is put some fruit in a pile then draw the fruit.

Drink some water.

Train testpattern in the ways of fast updates, through the use of an 80s style montage

makeout w/em

Make yourself something to eat, with aspirations of making a real fancy dish that inevitably just turns into an overly salted pile of cheesy noodles as you forget what step you're on repeatedly.

>>579526
yr a nerd

smoke more weed, fool

Add cameos by other quest artists you like, especially if you dont know how they look

FRACTAL 2014/06/19(Thu)23:18 No. 579534 ID: c3ad33
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>>579525
the trick of fast updates is. don't care. for example, a montage? TOO MUCH WORK. instead look at this one picture of me crossing my armns and thinking about shots

>>579530
i have already ordered a sandwich called "the fat bitcgh"

FRACTAL 2014/06/19(Thu)23:21 No. 579535 ID: c3ad33
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>>579533
I'M FRIENDS WITH CHIRPS AND CHIGUI AND CUOQET! idk so much about cuoqet, maybe she does not think i'm cool

>>579535
It's okay not to be cool enough for Cuoqet. Perfectly normal. She is just too cool.

>>579535
are you friends with me HUHHHH

Acquire super powers and save the city in a drunken manner.

>>579535
Now make them kiss.

And bring your friends along so you can be a super hero team.

FRACTAL 2014/06/19(Thu)23:35 No. 579545 ID: c3ad33
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>>579541
THERE U ARE

>>579545
Show off your most prized possession!

FRACTAL 2014/06/19(Thu)23:43 No. 579547 ID: c3ad33
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my prized posesssions are my best frineds QUINN, CHARLES, anf EVERETT
tohgether we are the SUPER DURNKS

>>579547
Slavery is not cool

Become drunk enough that you think you know how to dance

>>579535
it's possible

drink the vine and play the piano in the evenink

swap drawing hands

FRACTAL 2014/06/19(Thu)23:53 No. 579552 ID: c3ad33
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i start dancing except w my left hand

>>579552
Oh god swap again SWAP AGAIN

Make a silly face.

Fall through a magical portal into a fantasy realm and go on a motherfucking adventure.

draw more gg porn

the dream is collapsing !

Fractal fighting Fractal fighting Fractal in an all Fractal Battle Fractal.

FRACTAL 2014/06/20(Fri)00:03 No. 579560 ID: c3ad33
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the dream collapses into a magical portal which leads 2 me fighting alternate timeline versions of myself. this suckks . u uyss dont know how to party

It's okay we've done this once before in the Fractal Prime timeline. We just need to find some good shit and we might be able to save the dream.

hang a right hook to the one behind you! You'd never see that one coming

well maybe a LITTLE bit of clothes will make it better. postage stamps and floss are hip

Get a fish with a butt for a pet. Fishbutt.

FRACTAL 2014/06/20(Fri)00:24 No. 579565 ID: c3ad33
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i put on my postage stamp power bikini and kill ebveryone. looks like the crisis is averted. WHAT NOW

>>579565
Go out with your friends to the water park!

>>579566

Go with your friends AND Loretta to the extreme shark punching waterpark in space. Defy the fuck out of reality and physics and make scientists cry like small science manbabies.

mail yourself to the water park ? itll be fine

FRACTAL 2014/06/20(Fri)00:36 No. 579570 ID: c3ad33
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me and charles and quinn are at the water park. we are so hot

>>579570
Pretend to be a shark! Or actually be a shark maybe.

Make a rope from their chesthairs and swing into the pool

buy one of those unlabeled potions that say shark transformation thats how these things start right

FRACTAL 2014/06/20(Fri)00:51 No. 579574 ID: c3ad33
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FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are sharks. how did that happen. what do sharks do

They swim and eat fish and have tea parties while wearing dapper hats and monocles.

FRACTAL 2014/06/20(Fri)00:55 No. 579576 ID: c3ad33
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>>579575
this is stupid

They also play the xylophone! They aren't very good at it, but it is essential for their proper development as ferocious sea-beasts.

im pretty sure sharks are supposed to pose for saucy pinups. just look around you !

Conduct generic fantasy adventure at the bottom of the sea.

>>579576
You should swim around and spook other swimmers!

FRACTAL 2014/06/20(Fri)01:39 No. 579582 ID: c3ad33
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JESUS CHRIIST! i'm a shark. i'm swimming really fast. nothging useful is getting done. this quest was a stupid ifea

youre breathing though ! if you stop you die. you cant go below 50 or the bomb goes off

>>579582
Well gosh stop being a shark then. Get some ice cream instead. Float on tubes down a stream or something.

FRACTAL 2014/06/20(Fri)01:45 No. 579585 ID: c3ad33
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>>579583
[B]50 WHAT[/U]

50 FEET. youre fine everythings fine itll be fine i think sharks get their powers from ice cream too

>>579585
50 feet per minute.

50 feet per meter.

FRACTAL 2014/06/20(Fri)03:55 No. 579589 ID: c3ad33
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I AM A VERY FAST SHARK. i leave my friends behind because they are jackasses.

it's like 7 am. this lasted way longer than i intended it to. i want to abandon all of u

What! I missed drunk Fractal quest! Noooooo! That's what I get for working the midnight shift.

FRACTAL 2014/06/20(Fri)09:49 No. 579625 ID: c3ad33
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i'm awake. i am no longer drunk. i am drawing with a trackpad because i don't feel like expending the effort required to plug my tablet pen in and the drawing is somehow STILL better than the shit i was churning out last night.

this quest wasn't even funny. sharks are not funny, you hosers. i hate all of you

THE END

rood

this was silly, sorry i missed it