THEN KILL HIM BACK!

HOW CAN YOU TELL?

ps: run away

Tactical retreat! Go find the barracks or weapon stockpile, get a crossbow and take him out at range.

He must be a dorfen berserker! Run away until he stops 'roiding out, then kill him once he's exhausted.

Atu 2009/10/04(Sun)21:21 No. 57793 ID: b1e366
File 125471647641.png - (12.29KB , 800x600 , 2.png )

>Run, retreat, flee

Fine, fine... Geez, what did I ever do to him anyway?

>>57793
You did kill all of his people... and tried to shank him... but worst of all... you blew up all his booze.

Also don't try just to gang up on him or he might trance. You don't want him to trance.

>>57793

Everything.

Atu 2009/10/05(Mon)04:25 No. 57941 ID: b1e366
File 125474195164.png - (18.73KB , 1024x768 , 3.png )

We have a problem! He's bigger than us and completely insane and we were going to attack a fort full of them? I hate you crazy head voices. I don't know why I listen to you so much.

>>57941
What are you talking about? You listen to us very little. We're constantly telling you to do useful things or trying to impart valuable wisdom and all we've been getting from you gobbos is 'I'm too tired, I'll do it later' or some various other form of excuse or denial. And when you do listen you immediately run off at the slightest whim without concern for preparation or heed of our strategizing. You have to be the worst listeners out of all the quest subjects we oversee.

>>57941

Well, we DID manage to get rid of all but one of them.

jesus christ. Ok, lure him into a room, then slip out and lock the door behind him. Problem solved.

>>57941

Challenge him to a drinking contest. Dwarves love that shit.

>>57957
Yes, recruit that fucker! Promise Booze!

Ask him why he's attacking you when you could lead him to the left over booze hidden in the fort you took over. Or run.

If you take the first option, you'll have a much better numerical advantage, and since he won't be able to fit into the fort, you give him an incentive not to kill you.

>>57963
no now he is delirious from lack of booze tell him he is really a goblin who infiltrated the dwarf fortress for you.

>>58069

This is a great idea. If he asks any questions, just give him another drink.

>>58077
hell no! dorfs thinks more clearly after drinking booze

Atu 2009/10/05(Mon)16:36 No. 58228 ID: b1e366
File 12547857738.png - (10.12KB , 800x600 , 4.png )

>run off at the slightest whim without concern for preparation or heed of our strategizing.

That almost sounds like... P-plu... Plen... Planning?

>recruit that fucker! Promise Booze!
>hell no! dorfs thinks more clearly after drinking booze.

So if he gets the only thing he wants, he'll stop trying to kill us, then realize we're goblins and kobolds and try to kill us?

This is not a good plan, even I know that.
How about resorting to violence? That solves everything!

We could put down some beer somewhere, when he lets his guard down to drink it, you could try ambushing him with your kobold army.

If there was any booze left in the fort I think he would've gone and drank it by now. It's all blown up!

I still suggest getting a crossbow and taking him out at range, or at least injuring him so you can take him out with the sword. If you don't feel like doing that, ambush him at a corner while he's chasing a kobold. Take him out in one blow!

Point him in the direction of a river and tell him it is made of booze. Chances are he will run screaming toward it and drown himself, because everyone knows dwarves can't swim.

>>58228

Well, it's all you're good at, so why not?

Get behind him and latch onto his back, then threaten to cut off his beard if he does not stop. A dorf, mad or otherwise, will always put his beard at high priority. Then after he's subdued, cut off his beard anyway and make him watch. Then force him to wander the world a beardless dorf... and give him a bomb or something... just so he doesn't warn any other dorfs.

Atu 2009/10/05(Mon)18:30 No. 58314 ID: b1e366
File 125479262012.png - (10.36KB , 800x600 , 5.png )

>Get behind him and latch onto his back, then threaten to cut off his beard if he does not stop. A dorf, mad or otherwise, will always put his beard at high priority. Then after he's subdued, cut off his beard anyway.

This might work to dis- Ow... He... He nicked my ear... I love my ears... I WANT VENGEANCE!

>>58314

You killed his friends. I think he wants vengeance too.

>>58315
>You killed his booze makers. I think he wants vengeance too.

Fix'd

The fool just wants Beer, lure him with beer to get him in your trap. He hungers no revenge yet, just beer.

Look around for lever.

Pull lever.

Run like fuck.

>>58314
Your man-slave Ozud can lick it and make it all better. Maybe you should tear your shirt a bit and make a makeshift bandage until then, though.

Violence against this particular dorf may not solve everything - you saw how big his axe is!
...But if you can find some booze and distract him with it, maybe a big enough container that he has to use two hands for... he'll drop the axe and then you can cut him to shreds.

Intricate planning may not be your strong point, but very simple plans might work.

>>58324
Wait, don't! We have to loot the fort before we destroy it!

Atu 2009/10/05(Mon)19:14 No. 58360 ID: b1e366
File 125479527418.png - (10.79KB , 800x600 , 6.png )

>You killed his friends.

You think dorfs are as valuable as my ears? I hate you, get out.

>>58360

Stop being so whiny and finish the job!

>>58360
use your high speed to your advantage.

He's not armored. Stab him through the back while he's distracted with your kobold, then withdraw while he bleeds out.

Atu 2009/10/07(Wed)17:29 No. 59908 ID: b1e366
File 125496174672.png - (146.98KB , 1024x768 , 7.png )

GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!~

Whoa geez... I think I hit something vital.

>>59908

Well, there's no kill like overkill!

Come on, he's a dorf. you have to do better than that.

>>59908
Hit him again just in case. Avoid axe in death throes.

>>59908
oh shit you hit the spleen by the looks of it

that is not vital AT ALL, stab him again.


well, it IS vital, but not vital vital. you can live a minute or two without it, you'll just bleed out- but you're still deadly during that time.

>>59908
Avoid the inevitable counterattack. He might not die fast enough.

Back off and wait for him to bleed out.

Atu 2009/10/08(Thu)15:59 No. 60802 ID: b1e366
File 125504274265.png - (12.66KB , 800x600 , 8.png )

Hey, you can see inside his ribcage. Kind of gross.

>Back off and wait for him to bleed out.

That's a lot of blood, but it's fun to watch anyway.

You're covered in blood anyway, might as well have a blood dance!

Get some of those bolds in here and have another blood orgy.

>>60826
That would be unfaithful! Atu's not some slut who'll lay down with the likes of Kobolds, anyway!

Instead, LOOT EVERYTHING.

>>60836

>That would be unfaithful! Atu's not some slut who'll lay down with the likes of Kobolds, anyway!

>Instead, LAY DOWN WITH THE DEAD DORF.

>>60836
Which is why she should order them into the room, splash blood on them, then force them to have sex.


Repeatedly.

>>60841
>fix'd

Alright, what's useful in this fortress? It'll take a while to cart it all back to base. Maybe we can find some sort of caravan and head out using that?

Atu 2009/10/09(Fri)17:12 No. 61820 ID: b1e366
File 125513352378.png - (14.02KB , 800x600 , 9.png )

OZZY! HELP THE KOBOLDS UNLOAD MY LOOT, THEN GIVE ME A FOOT MASSAGE, THEN GET ME SOME FOOD THAT IS OUT OF SEASON, FROM ANOTHER REGION AND IS EXTREMELY RARE, SO I CAN TAKE ONE BITE THEN NOT WANT IT ANYMORE!

Amxu: You're back... right as the baby was going to sleep for the first time... in thirty hours.

>>61820
ATU receive IMPRESSIONABLE YOUTH.
AXMU receive SLEEP.

>>61820
Axmu: Just walk away, you'll thank yourself for it.

Atu: Fix your ear and possibly get someone to lick off that blood.

You guise should kiss. With tongue.

Get the baby some toys out of the loot pile.

>>61820
Attempt to aid in baby-calming activities.
Make a mess of it because you're covered in blood and are hyperactive.
Get sent away.
Sleep.
???
PROFIT

goddamnit you woke up the babby, you have to help calm it down now.

Atu 2009/10/09(Fri)22:49 No. 61973 ID: b1e366
File 125515376393.png - (23.24KB , 1024x768 , 10.png )

>Attempt to aid in baby-calming activities.
Check.
>Make a mess of it because you're covered in blood and are hyperactive.
Double check.
>Get sent away.
I should probably go now...
>Sleep
Roger, roger.
>???
HOW DO I KNOW IF YOU DON'T?
>Profit
I'm sure it will all work out.

>>61973

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA GET

BABBY PUNCH ATU

Atu 2009/10/10(Sat)06:52 No. 62073 ID: b1e366
File 125518274267.png - (17.87KB , 1024x768 , 11.png )

Eh... She'll figure it out on her own. I have more important things to do. <3

do your things, and either show us details or switch control over to someone else~

Atu 2009/10/10(Sat)14:50 No. 62287 ID: b1e366
File 125521145868.png - (14.71KB , 1024x768 , 12.png )

We should be good for now, it's just a matter of time for us to get established. Maybe you can check back in a few years... A decade or two.

I'm pretty happy with the way things turned out...
Thank you.

Wait for it

.

.

.

D'AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

We shall be looking forward to the next time we see you, fine 'blins. Perhaps when you next call upon us, there will be desperate need. Some manner of great threat or peril.

I wonder if goblins are unageing as well as immortal?

Heh, by the time we see them next, that bandanna-bold is going to be like Old Snake or Rambo instead of Young Snake.