...I'm not sure I can endorse your meathods, but if he committed the crimes you have accused him of in your jurisdiction, you were within your rights. Come on Anna, we're going.

Archivemod 2014/04/11(Fri)13:56 No. 570145 ID: e1609c
File 139724977267.png - (38.30KB , 81x222 , meathod.png )

>>570142
>meat hod
this joke is bad

I'm not exactly thrilled to be taking an option of blackmail after cutting down someone blinded and on his knee's, no matter how horrible he was.

Brad, Anna, while I don't particularly like the Archbishop's methods, if he hadn't done Alexi in we would have had to do it. Think about it. If Alexi had lived he and his goons would be hounding both of you day and night, along with anybody that associated with you. Anna wouldn't be able to go anywhere without a armed escort, lest she get jumped by his goons. And Alexi also knew Alexander is in or near this city and his cover as Alexandra. One message back to his father with that and this place would be flooded with Von Zolner thugs. Alexandra would have had to flee or die for sure.

When it comes down to it, we ought to be thanking the Archbishop for what he did more than chiding him. He saved us from doing the dirty work ourselves, and he did it faster, cleaner and with less potential for fallout with the Von Zolner family then we could have. And if what he said about the actions of Alexi and his goons is true, which I don't have any reason to doubt, then they deserved what they got. It's not the justice we'd like, but in this situation it's as much justice as we're going to get without causing bigger problems for everyone.

I still don't like that the Archbishop just made a threat against us, but starting shit over it now will just end badly. We'll be nice, for now

Brad, tell the Archbishop that there's no need to make threats. Even though you don't like the methods, you figure this way has about the best outcome we're gonna get from this mess. You'll both get out of the way and keep your mouths shut about this. Isn't that right, Anna?

Brad, stop on the way out to ask the Archbishop if he knows who told Alexi that Alexandra was Alexander and that you knew where she is. We'd like to know who told so we can avoid them from now on.

Now, Brad, I believe you were on the way to see Dr. Vadoma about a life essence check. Anna, you gonna tag along?

Kaktus 2014/04/12(Sat)07:14 No. 570213 ID: 65a774
File 139731204381.png - (17.63KB , 900x450 , 91.png )

>We'd better inform Alexandra of recent developments. Try to put it gently this time, Anna.
Hey, Alex, we just cut your brothers throat and watched him bleed to death for fun?
Anna, please don’t joke about death like that…
>...Brad, Anna, I don't particularly like the Archbishop's methods, but they're effective.
(He who fight monsters and all that…)

>If he hadn't done Alexi in we would have had to do it. Think about it. If Alexi had lived he and his goons would be hounding both of you day and night, along with anybody that associated with you.
I guess we should be thankful?
…don’t be.
>Brad, tell the Archbishop that there's no need to make threats.
A threat? When did I… oh, right… that did sound like threat, didn’t it? No, it wasn’t meant as a threat, just an observation that you needed him just as dead and hidden as we do. Sorry if it came out a bit hostile. We’re all on the same side here, after all.
>Ask the Archbishop if he knows how Alexi found out Alexander is Alexandra and that you have a connection to her.
He… snuck in and stole a few records from us. Well, snuck is the wrong word. Beating up two of our clerks is more like it. Anyhow, don’t worry about it. We’ll secure that information a bit better in the future.
>Ask the archbishop what they're planning to do about an obviously corrupt ally after the war is over.
I’ll do nothing. They are still living in the old world and refuse to change with the times, which is having predictable results. If anything, losing the two oldest heirs and having to spend money getting revenge on our mutual enemy will probably hasten their house collapse even more.

…

>Now, Brad, I believe you were on the way to see Dr. Vadoma about a life essence check. Anna, you gonna tag along?
Why, aren’t you a true gentlemen. Why, I would just-
Dr? You have a patient.
Oh, you’ll have to excuse me, I have work to do. Ah, Brad… I’ve looking forward for your return. I knew you shouldn’t keep your thoughts away from me, cutie~

Insert No one likes going to the doctor_

Sorry to spoil it for you Doc, but we're here for the essence check and nothing else.

>will probably hasten their house collapse even more
Man, politics is a nasty game, and this guy plays for keeps.

>Hey, Alex, we just cut your brothers throat and watched him bleed to death for fun?
...how about something more like "The archbishop had your brother put to death for several rather serious crimes."

Snark it up. "Yeah, could you give me something to stop that? Like a lobotomy?"

That done, tell her you're really here for a life essence check. You thought something might have changed with it since the last test 'cause food and drink stopped tasting like ash and piss. Then tell her what else has changed with you compared to the month before you arrived, like your mood being better. Leave out what happened at the fort and your regeneration for now.

We better check that our corruption level is zero before she does the test: [Check corruption level]

Now, before you tell her what happened at the fort, if the masked lizard is still here ask if he could leave. You'd like to keep this private. Then tell her what happened, starting after you broke free. If she wants corroboration she can ask anyone from the rest of the squad; They all saw it. If she wants to test it, she can give you a wound she knows she can fix, then see if it regenerates.

Oh, and Anna should get her life essence checked as well. She picked up windwalking so easy, so maybe there'll be something different about it.

That's a very odd mask that lizard is wearing; It has no eye holes. You two ever seen or heard of a mask like that? On his way out one of you ask him what kind of mask that is and how he can see with it on.

Also, from the dark horns I'd guess he's undead, so he's probably a member of the Serathian delegation. Though, I wonder why he's visiting Dr. Vadoma, since he's undead... Hm... [Scan masked lizard]

And for that matter: [Scan Doctor Vadoma] Probably another of Gray's, but you never know.

Kaktus 2014/04/12(Sat)10:32 No. 570237 ID: 65a774
File 139732394562.png - (18.27KB , 900x450 , 92.png )

>[Check corruption level]
[Corruption at 0%!]
>[Scan Doctor Vadoma]
[“The Mender of Souls” is unclaimed! You do not have any pawn slots left to claim this piece!]
>[Scan masked lizard]
[“The Avenger” belongs to Player Pink!]

>That's a very odd mask that lizard is wearing; It has no eye holes. You two ever seen or heard of a mask like that?
(Can’t say I have… but I think it got eye holes. It got two of these… grayer areas just where the eyes are supposed to be.)
(He looks like one of the villains in one of my adventure books!)

>Snark it up.
I’ve had you running through my mind all day, doctor. Do you have anything to fix that? Like… a lobotomy or a sword to the face?
Oh, while I do love when the boys drools after me… or bleed, I rather they also have some… moment down under. I’m sure I can make you forget all about removing me from my mind if you let me tie you up and whip you a few times~
Wow, you’re just as feisty as they say, doc! I like that…
Okay… I didn’t think this would spiral out of control and end up in that kind of… talk so… err… please stop?
Mmm… maybe if you get on your knees and beg for me, brad~
Rawr!
Now, enough flirting, my masked friend. What brings you here, Hairball?
>If the masked lizard is still here ask if he could leave.
Oh, don’t worry, I was leaving anyway. Now, I’ll see you and your sexy abdomen later, bitch.
Why, such talk! Someone here really need to get punished~
Oh, you haven’t even heard the half of it. I’ve been such a bad boy, whore, and I need a good whipping~
By the Thane, please stop!
>On his way out one of you ask him what kind of mask that is and how he can see with it on.
It’s called eye holes, hairball. They are made to be hard to spot on a distance. Now, I need to get going. Duty calls.

>We're here for the essence check and nothing else.
Right, let me just take a blood sample… there. It will be a few minutes but I’m sure we can entertain ourselves, can’t we?
>Anna should get her life essence checked as well.
Err… I think I’m getting a bit… skeptical about this.
What? Why?
Well, you’re crazy for one thing.
Flirt all you like, but I don’t swing that way, honey. Besides, you’re like a four, not a nine like the hunk here!
Hey! You don’t need to- Ow! What was that for!?
Here, do the usual tests on these two.
At once, doctor.
That was just mean, you meanie.
>Tell her about the regeneration.
Really? Regeneration? Ha! That’s just an excuse so I’ll hurt you a bit, isn’t it? Why, you dirty little thing, I might just have to punish you for lying to me~
Stop referring to… that or I’ll cut off your head or something!
Why, aren’t you the kinky one? I’m pretty sure I’m the one who’s supposed to eat your head, not the other way around. But flirting aside, I’m just teasing you Brad. It’s fun to see you so uncomfortable~ besides, that regeneration thing has to be a lie. See, the wound you got when I took your blood sample haven’t healed yet and that thing is like… super tiny.
…but then why do I still have both eyes?
I don’t know, maybe you’re just so badass that the knife got scared or one of your ancestors ghost came and saved you? Maybe you’re an alien? Or undead? Or maybe, just maybe, you’re remembering it wrong. Did the knife really hit your eye?
I’m pretty sure I’m remembering it correctly, doc.
Either way, I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense, now does it? But, enough of that, do you want a cup of tea while we wait for the samples to be done?

Insert Whip it good!_

Ask if a lizard called Theen came by to hit on her too.

Yep, I'm near certain of it now: That lizard is Theen. We knew him in the Serath as the brains of a three mercenary band. He's a total masochist and his personality is exactly like you heard. Him and Vadoma will be a perfect match.

Do either of you like tea? Brad, you don't strike me as someone who drinks tea, do you? Anna? Well, either way it'd be impolite not to accept. You can just hold onto the cup if you don't care for it.

Point out to Vadoma that there's four members of the Order who saw that you had a knife buried to the hilt in your eye socket and that not long after it was removed your eye came back; One of which is the medic who removed it. So you're not misremembering things.

Kill the time with chit-chat. Say that that lizard seems like just the kind of person for her. Ask her if she knows who he is and how he found out about her. Maybe ask a bit about life essence, like if in theory it could be transplanted from one body to another, swapped, or if extra could be added to someone.

Don't let the doc get on your nerves, Anna. You're a nine in our book. And you can windwalk, so that, like, squares it. You're an eighty-one, so "feh" to Vadoma.

>“The Avenger” belongs to Player Pink!
...well. We may have to go talk to him later. See if we can reestablish contact with Pink. Seems easier to get to than the prince, at least.

>Well, you’re crazy for one thing.
Crazy doctors tend to get the most results, unfortunately. Also, eccentricities aside, she does appear to be good at what she does. ...and you don't really have an alternative. Towns under siege fall victim to monopolies pretty quickly.

Maybe you only regenerate when you're angry, or in combat? I mean, maybe it's not a passive ability but an active one that you just don't think about when you use it.

Anna, how far back can you trace your ancestry? It's possible Brad is your cousin.

>"The Avenger” belongs to Player Pink!

... It's Theen, isn't it. He's avenging Thaark and/or Thuul.

Did she suggest you could be undead? How the hell would that work?

>>570270
Or its threshold for activation is a wound above "small cut" level. Perhaps closer to what normally could not be recovered from.

>>570273
We never did get his codename when we were back in the Serath. It could have been "The Avenger" all along.

Kaktus 2014/04/12(Sat)14:47 No. 570277 ID: 65a774
File 139733922703.png - (18.37KB , 900x450 , 93.png )

>Do either of you like tea?
It’s the real stuff, yes? Not some of that bag stuff?
Of course it’s the real stuff.
Oh, I haven’t had tea in ages! I love this stuff!
Err… thank you, I guess?
>Don't let the doc get on your nerves, Anna. You're a nine in our book. And you can windwalk, so that, like, squares it. You're an eighty-one, so "feh" to Vadoma.
Thanks guys!
Bah, you’re being too generous. She’s a six, maybe a seven at most.
Hey!

>Point out to Vadoma that there's four members of the Order who saw that you had a knife buried to the hilt in your eye socket and that not long after it was removed your eye came back; One of which is the medic who removed it.
Hey, all I’m saying is there’s probably a reasonable explanation behind this and not just some ghost story.
>Did she suggest you could be undead? How the hell would that work?
I was just throwing around some farfetched theories that came to mind. Don’t read into it too much.
>Ask if a lizard called Theen came by to hit on her too.
Theen? Sorry, I can’t place that name…
>Say that that lizard seems like just the kind of person for her.
Did you know, he personally asked for me. My reputation must precede me.
>Ask her if she knows who he is and how he found out about her.
His the Sultans personal body guard. As for how he knows about me… um… I don’t know, actually.
>Ask a bit about life essence, like if in theory it could be transplanted from one body to another, swapped, or if extra could be added to someone.
Why would you like to swap it? The corruption would just spread to the new essence and if you tried to remove any the target would die pretty quickly. It’s like… life energy, after all. Without it your just a sack of organs to be harvested.

>Anna, how far back can you trace your ancestry? It's possible Brad is your cousin.
Um… to my grandfather, I guess? I’m not really… versed in my family history.
Doc? Here are some of the results you requested. The deeper analyses will take a few more hours though.
I know, I designed those tests after all. Now, let’s see… hmmm… Good news, the corruption of your essence is weakening. My theory about the blessed weapon seems to bear fruit! Just continue using that hammer of yours. Now, for the lady… you’re as fit as a fiddle… at least, your essence is.
Um… here something else that might interest you, doc…
The file on Ann-Sofie Tempest? Why would I need this?
Tempest? I… recognize that name…
Well… compare her blood sample with Brads.
Huh… they are… you’re related?
Wait, so he’s my cousin?
No it’s… hard to say for sure but… there is a possibility that you two are related several generations ago. You might share grand grand grand grand grandfather or something.
Anna is family!?
I’m pretty sure you’re far enough away from each other to not be considered family but… sure, maybe… possibly… perhaps? Now, was there something else?

Insert It’s in the blood_

Sooo that's why the wind-walking was something she could do. Okay then, we'll have to keep that in mind as far as her training goes.
Oh, yeah, Anna, IDK what that wind-walking is like/feels like but judging from earlier it burns through your stamina like crazy, so use it carefully.

>Distant family!
Well, a lot of people are family if you go back far enough...

Still, fistbumps or high fives or hugs or something are in order.

>>570277
Yep, just as I thought. Brad, give your distant distant relative a hug but try to avoid breaking her bones or whatever. You'll want to fill her in on the details of Windwalking and the side effects of using the technique. ...jeez, we have two Windwalkers. Our team is so overpowered.

...I'm guessing the Avenger is Theen. He must not have given his name yet, or is using an alias for some reason. His horns are black now, which means he's likely undead too, just like the Prince, except perhaps a mummy rather than a ghoul. This implies that we had to send him on a suicide mission at some point, along with the Prince. Or they otherwise died unavoidably.

Anyway it seems like our errands are done for the day. We could nose around in the business of the visiting royalty but I'm not sure we should get any more knowledge about the future-past. Wouldn't want the waveform to collapse so that we have less influence on what happened/will happen.

Kaktus 2014/04/12(Sat)16:31 No. 570293 ID: 65a774
File 139734548350.png - (22.72KB , 900x450 , 94.png )

>Fistbumps or high fives or hugs or something are in order.
I’m not really the hugging ty-
Hugs!!
Argh!
>You'll want to fill her in on the details of Windwalking and the side effects of using the technique.
I’m going to be a windwalker! So cool!
After years of training, yes.
Stop being a party pooper.
>Anyway it seems like our errands are done for the day.
Thank you for your time, doc.
Just doing my job. Oh, and I’ll send a message if any of the deeper analyses find anything interesting. But… are you sure you don’t want to be whipped?
…don’t even try to get under my skin again, doc.
Haven’t you been a bad boy? Maybe you need to be spanked a bit?
I’m just going to ignore you and leave.
Well, I do have a strapon lying ar-
RUN AWAY!!!

…

Calm down, Darling~, there’s nothing to be nervous about. Just be yourself and I’m sure this will go smashing!
B-but… um… w-what am I supposed t-to say? And who s-should I talk t-to?
Why, dear, just go up to someone you think looks nice and say hello, give them a compliment and then maybe buy them a drink. It’s not that hard, right dear?
…nope…
See? It’s not hard.
B-but-
No but’s, dear. You look smashing and everyone will love you. Right, dear?
…yes…
See, even Yulian agree!

Insert Nigel says: Smashing_

You clean up quite well, you look absolutely divine in that dress.

For now though, take a sip of liquid courage, find someone you think might be cute, and just introduce yourself.

>Stop being a party pooper.
Well, at least in the short term, even untrained, it lessons your chances of getting killed horribly in battle. So there's that.

>what do I do?
Just relax, enjoy yourself, and act natural. Don't force yourself to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you meet someone, great, if not, at least you still had a good night.

>>570293
Hey Drina! Huh, I wonder why Alexandra's here. Unless people here are particularly perceptive, she won't get any takers of the right gender. Maybe she's just here to drink. Don't get distracted though. You're here to flirt!

You never said what kind of girl you like so I can't really suggest anyone here. Andreas's advice is good though, I support that. No need to do anything special, and you have nothing to lose by just saying hello, so relax.

Kaktus 2014/04/12(Sat)18:12 No. 570305 ID: 65a774
File 139735154217.png - (22.46KB , 900x450 , 95.png )

>You clean up quite well, you look absolutely divine in that dress.
You’re just saying that to make me feel good!

>Take a sip of liquid courage.
Take it a bit easy on the courage, darling~. You’ll need some brain and heart too, you know.
>Just relax, enjoy yourself, and act natural. Don't force yourself to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Right… act natural… don’t do anything uncomfortable… like being here… in this pub… I… I… By Siegfried, my natural is a nervous wreck right now!!
>You never said what kind of girl you like so I can't really suggest anyone here. Andreas's advice is good though, I support that. No need to do anything special, and you have nothing to lose by just saying hello, so relax.
They can reject me! Laugh at me! Think I’m some kind of… idiot! I… I don’t think… how am I supposed to do this!? You don’t get laid just by saying hallo! What do I say after that!? I… I don’t… I can’t do this! Get me out of h-

>Huh, I wonder why Alexandra's here. Unless people here are particularly perceptive, she won't get any takers of the right gender.
Alex!?
Alexandra… wait, Drina? I’m… um… surprised to see you here.
Likewise… um… aren’t you supposed to… you know, look like… err…
…? Oh, right, the dress thing… I was supposed to show of this thing on my horn. The guard out front gave it to me, said it was to identify people who aren’t dressing like… well, usual.
So… you’re here to find a good looking guy, then?
Well, if one fall into my lap, sure… I’m mostly here just to relax.
And… excuse me for asking but… err… Vlad?
First off, I’m not even sure he like guys. Second, he’s just a kid. I’m what, six years older than him? He’s still way too immature to really create a working relationship with. Err… and please don’t tell him I said that.
Why, who is your cute friend, darling? You just have to introduce us!
Oh, she has the most beautiful eyes, doesn’t she?
Err… wai-
It would be a crime to let such a beautiful “lady” sit here alone in the night. That has to be remedied, stat!
If the lady wishes, then we can be her knights for the evening…

Insert Go dating sim, go!

>>570305
Well Alex, two guys just fell into your lap. Are they good looking though? We can't tell, and your standards are surely different from ours anyway. Normally I'd be concerned about Vlad finding out about you taking home anyone but he did just reject you, so he has no say in the matter. Besides, he needs time to contemplate his sexuality properly. His dad was homophobic.

Drina, on further inspection there's only one unattended female in the room- the scarred mantis over there in full armor. I have a feeling she's the bodyguard or wingman of the human in blue, because she wouldn't be wearing armor and just standing around if she was here to socialize. However, you should at least go say hello and ask if that's the case. Do you like scars?

@Drina- see those guys that just spotted and drew themselves to Alexandra? It can be that simple sometimes.
Besides...If you bend yourself too far out of shape, if you wear a mask to please the other person, they're not really liking you but the mask, yanno? Be yourself, because if you're not yourself you're gonna need to find that someone else everytime you're near the other person, and you can imagine the shenanigans that happens then! Or just ask Alexandra about that, she probably had to get used to the 'dra' instead of 'der'.
...[scan mantis in armor] Who's that girl?

Well, Alexandra, looks like not one but two good looking guys just fell into your lap, you lucky lizard. With all the shit you've been through it's 'bout time you got lucky, one way or another. Drina, you gonna introduce them?

Drina, I'd suggest you stop, clear your head, and breathe, just like we suggested when you were angry. Anxiety messes with your head like anger does. Calm yourself and you'll do much better here.

It'll do you good to remember that every one of these people has been in your situation. When you mess up say something like this is your first time in this kind of situation and you're horribly nervous. They remember what it was like. They'll be sympathetic and patient with you. They might even share their own story from when they were in your situation. It'll be the one topic you'll have in common with every one of them.

Now, you just need to choose who you're going to approach. Step up to the bar, order a low alcohol drink (so you don't get drunk too soon,) and sip it while listening in to the conversation the human and lizard gal are having. Figure out if they're here as a couple or just two strangers.

The mantis gal looks like a nice candidate for you, but she's also wearing armor when nobody else is which might mean she's a bodyguard or a bouncer. Andreas and Yulian have been here before, so ask them who the bouncers are so you don't try to pick one up.

...Wait a sec. Drina, when did you find out Alexandra is actually a guy? I remember when Anna, Brad and Vlad found out, but I don't remember when you did. Was I just not paying attention or did it happen when we weren't around?

Those two are quite smooth indeed, but you are beautiful in that dress, specially the way your thorax and abdomen are trussed.

Kaktus 2014/04/13(Sun)06:53 No. 570401 ID: 65a774
File 139739720217.png - (22.71KB , 900x450 , 96.png )

>[scan mantis in armor]
[Neutral creature (Friendly): Veteran.]

>Andreas and Yulian have been here before, so ask them who the bouncers are so you don't try to pick one up.
See the ones in full order uniforms, including helmets?
Oh, how did I miss that?
>Well, Alexandra, looks like not one but two good looking guys just fell into your lap, you lucky lizard.
(Good looking? I don’t know… they look pretty average but… it’s good enough for me, I guess.)
>Normally I'd be concerned about Vlad finding out about you taking home anyone but he did just reject you, so he has no say in the matter.
(Vlad will never have any say in the matter. I’m my own lady and I do what I want.)
>Besides, he needs time to contemplate his sexuality properly. His dad was homophobic.
(Oh, that’s… that actually explain some things…)
>Drina, you gonna introduce them?
Um… Alexandra, this is Andreas and Yulian. Andreas, Yulian, this is Alexandra.
Nice to meet you.
A pleasure making your acquaintance, darling~! Now, you don’t happen to be able to grace us with your presence on the dance floor?
I just have to say, Alexandra is a lovely name.
Err… I don’t… um… you know what, what the heck. If you two gentlemen would guide me to the dance floor I would be honored to gift the both of you a dance.
Right this way, my lady…
Um… just one thing. Sorry for asking but… I’m guessing you prefer she instead of he, right?
Yes.
Ah, just making sure that we didn’t accidently insult you, my beautiful maiden.

>...Wait a sec. Drina, when did you find out Alexandra is actually a guy?
Um… it’s in her file? I mean, I’m her superior officer. I have to know stuff like that.
>see those guys that just spotted and drew themselves to Alexandra? It can be that simple sometimes.
But… they are… they are so confident and know what to say… I don’t…
>Drina, I'd suggest you stop, clear your head, and breathe, just like we suggested when you were angry.
…*Heavy breath*…
>Drina, on further inspection there's only one unattended female in the room- the scarred mantis over there in full armor.
What are you talking about? There are at least fifty people in here! I’m sure there is more than one that’s unattended. Besides, I’m pretty sure she’s talking to that human and lizard next to her.
>Now, you just need to choose who you're going to approach. Step up to the bar, order a low alcohol drink (so you don't get drunk too soon,) and sip it while listening in to the conversation the human and lizard gal are having.
-you’re right, you only live once… I’ll go talk to her right away.
Go get her, tiger.
>I have a feeling she's the bodyguard or wingman of the human in blue, because she wouldn't be wearing armor and just standing around if she was here to socialize.
I don’t know… the armor looks like it was made for a parade and not combat… um… and it seems rather old, too.
>The mantis gal looks like a nice candidate for you…
Well… she is rather… handsome, yes, but… um… she is a bit older than me and…
>Do you like scars?
I do like scars… well, nice scars. Her missing eye is a bit… much, but-

Why, hello there. I haven’t seen you around here before. First time here?
Wha- err… y-yes?
And going by your nervousness I’m guessing it’s your first time ever that you’ve been to a place like this?
Um… y-y-yes?
You don’t have to be nervous. Relax, grab a drink and- …is something wrong?
Y-your eyes, they are so… they are like p-perfectly cut emeralds, completely gorgeous!
…I have to admit, that wasn’t a bad flirt for a first timer. But, I’m sorry; I’m currently not on the market. I’m just here to help a friend… and as she’s right now dancing with a cute lizard I’m guessing I succeeded, eh?
Err… seems like it was a success was beyond expectations?
You know what, I don’t have a lot to do the rest of the evening so, maybe I can help you too? If there is something I need then it’s more friends.
Oh, that would be… I would be in your debt, really!
Oh, don’t mention it. This kind of stuff is fun! Now, anyone who catches your eyes?
Maybe the old soldier behind me? I know she’s rather desperately looking for a “sparring” partner. She’s a bit stoic and hard at first but she got a soft center… oh, and look, here comes another mantis lady… or two, even! That one is a real party animal, all happy go lucky, and if you ask me, a real slut who’ll sleep with anyone. The one behind her on the other hand is a real intellectual. Rather restrained until you release her inner geek.
Err… can’t I get some names?
And ruin the fun? No, that’s something you have to get yourself. Now, who do you fancy? Hmm, maybe you’re looking for a human… or lizard instead? I can introduce you to some of them too if you wanted too…
I… I don’t know… I think I rather find a mantis but… I… um…

Insert The only solution is to make it a square in bed! (Or alternative, a big orgy right here)_

Hrrm...
Personally? I reccomend the old soldier. I think you'd go for someone who knew the trials and rigors of the battlefield the most.
If the old soldier doesn't work out, maybe that happy mantis? A good bit of cheer that should brighten your night, even if things don't work out.
The Geek is a last resort. You're awkward and she's shy, I can only imagine the crazy things we'll start saying to get you to make meaningful conversation and I doubt she will make the first move so...

>There are at least fifty people in here!
Sorry, a lot of them must be off panel for us.

...why do I feel like we should know who this is.
[Scan lizard with eyes like perfectly cut emeralds]

...Is all of the above an option? Nah, just kidding. Oh, I didn't know that mantis could dye their antennas. That's pretty neat.

Okay, I'd say approach the veteran first. I think you and her would likely have the most you could talk about without us helping you along. Party girl would be my second pick. You two wouldn't have much to talk about, but you don't need to talk about much to party. The intellectual is my last pick. You two don't have much in common, so we'd have to carry you along by feeding you stuff to say. When we take off you'd be left high and dry.

>"There are at least fifty people in here!"
Er... Sorry, we sometimes forget our view is rather constrained. For us most often it's oriented like a scene on a stage, where we're looking towards the wall and can't see anything closer than about where you're standing.

>Eyes like perfectly cut emeralds
That has to be a really rare trait, 'cause I can't remember the last time we saw a lizard with green eyes... Green... No, it's too obvious... She couldn't be one of his pieces, could she...? [Scan emerald eyed lizard]

>>570401
But what? If you're looking for sex, go for the party animal. If you're looking for a relationship with someone with similar interests, go for the veteran. If you're looking for someone with differing interests, go for the geek.

Kaktus 2014/04/13(Sun)12:52 No. 570485 ID: 65a774
File 139741876924.png - (22.22KB , 900x450 , 97.png )

>[Scan lizard with eyes like perfectly cut emeralds]
[“The Druid” belongs to player Green!]

>...Is all of the above an option?
Only in my dreams…
>Okay, I'd say approach the veteran first. I think you and her would likely have the most you could talk about without us helping you along.
So you’re into cougars, eh?
Err… she’s not that old, is she?
She’s got at least fifteen years on you.
Wow, she… she has really aged gracefully, hasn’t she? I mean, with a body like that she looks barely over 25!
Excuse me, Captain? This lady here is dying to make your acquaintance.
Really?
Indeed. In fact, she just said that you can’t be over 25 and you have a gorgeous body!
Wha- I did n-
Now, now… don’t be shy. I’ll leave you two to get and know each other in private.
Wait, don’t… leave… err…
Don’t mind her, she’s always been like this. She’s a bit of a cupid, that one. But I digress, let me introduce myself, I’m Tsure… and as she said, former captain of the Järgian army. Judging by your way of standing and your body type, I’m guessing you’re a soldier too?
Err… yes. I’m Sergeant Drina of the Order. Of course, we’re not really an army but-
Don’t be humble, you guys fight far worse threats then most armies ever do.
…I guess… but we never fought any wars like you’ve done.
Personally, I’ve never fought any wars either. The only real combat I’ve experience were skirmishes against the Vildmäns about ten years ago.
Really? That’s interesting. My mother was in command of some of those battles.
What was her name and rank?
Um… I’m not sure about back then but she’s currently a Major. Her name is-

…

-then I threw the torch right in his face! He might have taken my eye but he would never take my freedo-

…

-but if you liked that book series, you should read “Confessions of a paladin”! It’s a love story between a paladin and a lich!
Really? That sounds interesting. But is it-
There exist a version where they are both ladies, yes, and they are adorable!
*Squeee*

…

-Ha! I’m guessing she didn’t forgive you for that in ages!
Well, she did fill my armor with itching powder the same day I would have to stand guard at the front entrance.
*Snort* Oh, sisterly love… hmm, it’s getting rather late, doesn’t?
It does? I… she’s already almost eleven!?
The time flies when you’re having fun… I need to get going soon, I have to get to work tomorrow.

Insert Time keeps on running away from me… maybe I should take a bath?_

See, there you go. You hit it off, and had a good time with someone.

Of course, it's still up to you how you want end the evening... (might want to settle for a mantis kiss equivalent rather than getting in her bed, but your call).

>[“The Druid” belongs to player Green!]
Ah, hello again, there. Well, since they're not kidnapping anyone this time, I don't suppose we have any complaints.

>>570485
Aw man, the lady with green eyes was one of Green's pawns. We missed an opportunity to establish contact with them.

Well, what do you think? Set up another date later?

Oh, this reminds me. A long time ago, it used to be the norm for well-off Mantis females to have harems. Is that still the case?

Arrange a date to meet again, and wish her goodnight.

Kaktus 2014/04/13(Sun)14:37 No. 570519 ID: 65a774
File 139742504027.png - (13.78KB , 900x450 , 98.png )

>See, there you go. You hit it off, and had a good time with someone.
…holy crap, you’re right. I didn’t even notice!
>A long time ago, it used to be the norm for well-off Mantis females to have harems. Is that still the case?
That’s still the case; I got three fathers after all. Of course, that just about males as females generally doesn’t want to share, so to speak.

>Well, what do you think? Set up another date later?
So… um…
If you’re asking if you can come back to my place for coffee then forget it. I’m serious when I say I need to work tomorrow.
Wha- no, that wasn’t at all wha- I was just going to ask you when we should meet again?
Oh… OH! Err… sorry for jumping to conclusions like that but… I’m free tomorrow evening?
So… dinner?
Dinner at my place would be great. Can you meet me at work at five?
I thinks so… except, I don’t actually know…
Oh, right… I’m a baker. Well, not really… I actually own the bakery but… anyhow; just follow the street from the cathedral to the market place and you’ll walk past it. The house number is 403.
403… right.
>Wish her goodnight.
Then, goodnight and see you tomorrow?
You know, a kiss is the best way to wish someone goodnight~
Of course~

…

You know, darling… Yulian here is an excellent tailor… he’s specialty is women’s clothing.
Really? That sounds interesting…
I just happen to have a lot of sexy lingerie your size that needs to be tried out…
Why, aren’t you a pervert… heh… I don’t know if I should slap you or kiss you?
So, what do you say, dear… want to put up a bit of a fashion show for us two?
I don’t know… it’s getting late…
Plenty of time, my sweet…
…all right… but just for a little while…
Smashing…

…

Sir! I got more news about the massacre on the road to the city, sir.
Yes, private?
The caravan that was attacked consisted mostly of thugs from the Von Zolner family, sir. In fact, it seemed the attack was aimed at them, sir, as everyone else was spared, sir.
So, we have witnesses?
We’ve already made a representation of the perpetrator, sir.
Show me.
You’re not going to like this but…

Kaktus 2014/04/13(Sun)14:37 No. 570520 ID: 65a774
File 139742505469.png - (13.91KB , 900x450 , 99.png )

…he looked like this… and several witnesses said they heard him refer to himself as a wind walker…
Hmm…

Insert Dun dun dun!_

>>570520
Whoa, it's like Brad had a brother. This is a serious problem. I'd like to get him on our side but we obviously can't do that since he's a known murderer. Unless we got him to change his appearance enough so that nobody would recognize him? Regardless we'll want to track him down to find out what's going on with him.

Wait who are we using as a pawn right now? Nobody in this room is one of our pawns as far as I know. Andrzej, are we in your head now? That seems most likely... or maybe it's like when we were trying to get Thuul to remember to get to his job on time, and we can watch but only indirectly influence our host.
[scan Andrzej]

Okay, except for the hairstyle the guy in the picture looks a hell of a lot like Brad. He's probably a close relation; A brother, cousin, or possibly a son. I seriously doubt it was Brad himself, but I can't say that for sure without knowing when the massacre happened.

...Wait. None of our people are here, so who are we observing through? Is this like what we did with Thuul? I'm not so sure of that 'cause Andrzej is Gray's pawn and we're not allied with Gray as far as the game is concerned. [Display current viewpoint target]

I wonder if Jal stayed sober and made it to his hook up with Mikhail. [Check pawn status] If he's drunk right now that'll tell us for sure he didn't.

Huh. So either Brad's gone secretly nuts, he has a sibling, or someone's found a way to impersonate him and is trying to make him look bad.

Either way, we should investigate.

[Scan everyone in the room]

Kaktus 2014/04/14(Mon)06:19 No. 570616 ID: 65a774
File 139748154728.png - (12.55KB , 900x450 , 100.png )

>[Scan everyone in the room]
[“The Knight of Spades” belongs to player gray.]
[Neutral Creature (Friendly): Paladin.]
>[Check pawn status]
[“The Savage” Status: Sleeping. “The hunter” Status: Depressed, polishing spear. “The priest” Status: Split roast. “The Alchemist” Status: Spelunking. “Sister of Wisdom” Status: Sleeping, Blessed Dreams, Fever. “Sister of Power” Status: Tired, Almost asleep. “The Valkyrie” Status: Depressed, Sleeping.]
>[Display current viewpoint target]
[You are currently receiving a recorded message from player Gray!]

…

Dammit! Another failure! …why, yes, they regenerate but… look at them! They are as stupid as a box of door nails! …huh? Yes, sure, one of those ghost things can control them, but they are hopelessly inept in controlling so many limbs at once! I don’t care if you say this Plague of yours is the solution, it’s badly made and that’s finale! Bah! I’m probably going to have to start over from scratch…
…Varius? Who are you talking too?
Oh, Daniel! I didn’t see you there… oh, I’m just musing for myself. Easier to get your thought sorted that way, eh? Now, what have you found?
I found a magically locked door. Whatever it’s behind it has to be valuable, as I’ve never seen such an advance lock.
Hmm… interesting… and the locking mechanism?
There where these… slots for eight spheres of some kind and a square.
Really? I’ll have a look later. Now, leave me, I have much to accomplish.
…excuse me for asking but… where did you get all these undead from?
Hmm? Oh, some friends of mine sent them here. They can walk through the storm outside without trouble, after all.
No, I mean… the bodies?
They were donated to the academy to be used in necromantic experiments.
But we don’t… never mind. Either way, we should try to find a way past that storm. I’m starting to miss talking to other living beings.
Living? Who needs the living when you have the dead? The living only… wait… living… you know, I just realized something… hmm… yes…
Varius?
I’m going to be very busy the next few hours and can’t be disturbed under any circumstances stances, do you understand?
…of course.
If you want something to do then grab the stone on the table over there, the cyan one, and try inserting it in the door. Now, leave me.

Insert Hello, my name is [Varius] and I’m evil! EVIL! With capital E!!! Muhahaha!_

Looks like I'm having that dream with the Mantis wearing a false beard, oh wait it's not a dream.

Hello Daniel, still alive it seems, though considering the eccentric wizard you are working for seems to be up to something I'm expecting your chances of survival are dropping.

>>570616
Ask what the plague would be a solution for.

Better do this right off: [Scan Varius] Just to check if he's been taken by a player who's with the Blood God and not directly by the Blood God.

Hello again, Daniel. It is us, the voices from when you arrived here. We have much to ask and tell you and not much time. You are in danger here. Stay quiet, take the stone, go to the locked door but do not slot the stone in. We will speak on the way.

Tell us what has been happening here since we last spoke to you. What has Varius been up to? What has he found in this place? And what have you found here? What have you seen?

Do you know today's date? How long has it been since we last spoke to you? We know we've shifted back in time when we jumped to you, but we don't know by how much. We know that because we saw that fair haired undead in the white cape get his head smashed in by a warhammer about half a day before we jumped to you.

Also, do you know how long it's been since that particular fair haired undead guy arrived here? We know he must have died more than three months after we left you because the Order of Light wasn't in this area before then. We say that because he was a paladin in their order.

Now, we have very important news about Varius. After we left you we shifted back in time, to the Serath capitol on the 12th of the 1st month of Siegfried, 3995. There we found out Varius is being manipulated by one of those powerful beings he spoke of; One by the name of "Blood God." From that name he sounds like Bad News, and you'd be right. Varius summoned him for a chat back at the Academy and he's been whispering in Varius' ear ever since.

All these undead come from a substance created by the Blood God and Varius and spread by the Blood God's cultists. It raises fresh corpses as undead immediately, and in the living it rapidly spreads from the point of infection and turns them undead.

That locked door you found is to a vault containing a Greater Elemental Rune; A relic from before the Dark Age with the power to reshape the world. The cyan stone is one of eight keystones used in conjunction with a lesser elemental rune to unlock it. Needless to say, the Blood God getting his hands on what's beyond that door would be catastrophic.

Normally I'd keep you here as our man on the inside, but with Varius' new interest in the living for his studies very soon he's going to want a living person to experiment on, and you just happen to be the only one here besides himself. Unless you want to end up tied to a slab you'll have to either kill Varius or flee from here.

Kaktus 2014/04/14(Mon)13:00 No. 570680 ID: 65a774
File 139750563172.png - (7.92KB , 900x450 , 101.png )

>[Scan Varius]
[Why do you persist? Haven’t they told you what will happen if you win? …maybe you’re doing this out of spite? Out of hatred? …or is it ignorance? Enlighten yourself and read that book he so foolishly gave you… read how all of this will end.]

>Ask what the plague would be a solution for.
To make better undead of course! Geez! Now go away, daddy is busy!

>Hello Daniel, still alive it seems, though considering the eccentric wizard you are working for seems to be up to something I'm expecting your chances of survival are dropping.
That’s why I’m trying to find a way out of here!
>Stay quiet, take the stone, go to the locked door but do not slot the stone in.
Right… let’s see… this place is like a labyrinth… blue blue red white… or was it green?
>Tell us what has been happening here since we last spoke to you.
Varius found some old artifacts, including some kind of big… hollow disk thingy… it almost looks like a doorframe without a door that someone painted a bunch of runes on. Then these undead just started to show up… carrying food and supplies and stuff… and I swear, some of those things looks exactly the same!
>Do you know today's date? How long has it been since we last spoke to you?
Err… actually; I’ve kind of lost track of the time in here… about three, four days? Maybe five? I don’t know, but sometimes it feels like several days just pass in an instant while other times it feels like time doesn’t even move. I mean, I’m pretty sure I saw daylight outside before it suddenly just went dark and just an hour later it was daylight again!
>Also, do you know how long it's been since that particular fair haired undead guy arrived here?
Err… a day or two?
>We know he must have died more than three months after we left you because the Order of Light wasn't in this area before then.
There’s no way there’s been three months since we last talked!
>Varius is being manipulated by one of those powerful beings he spoke of; One by the name of "Blood God." From that name he sounds like Bad News, and you'd be right. Varius summoned him for a chat back at the Academy and he's been whispering in Varius' ear ever since.
…that sounds very bad, yes.
>the Blood God getting his hands on what's beyond that locked door you found would be catastrophic.
Then… then we have to make sure he can’t get in. He can’t get in without the key, right? The key stone? …the one I’m holding? Hmm…

>Unless you want to end up tied to a slab you'll have to either kill Varius or flee from here.
I can’t flee! Trust me, I’ve tried! There’s one of Hel’s frozen storms going on outside and it doesn’t seem to be going away anytime soon. If I try to flee then I’ll freeze to death for sure. As for killing him… he’s surrounded by those undead at all times… if I harm him they’ll probably tear me to pieces. Wait… where am I? I’m pretty sure I was supposed to take a… a… by Hel?

Insert Backgrounds clones strikes again!_

>>570680
That looks like an illusion to me. Sorry bro, but we're a bit corrupted in this time apparently, so you'll be seeing things. Also this building you're in is a prison for demons, so... that would explain the fucked up time issues.

You could go over to the entrance and just throw the keystone as far as you can into the storm... Varius won't be able to find it. Unfortunately he would be quite displeased with you, and that could result in a fate worse than death.

On the other hand, since time is so fucked up here, it's possible we may arrive in time to rescue you. So maybe you shouldn't cause any trouble.

...What the fuck? [Scan all targets in area] [Check corruption level] Daniel, keep calm. We'll figure this out together if you just don't lose it, okay.

It's obvious by now that time is warped within this place. From what you saw outside I'm guessing that, on average, time in here is moving much slower than outside. That might explain why the storm out there is so hellish: It's days of storms compressed together.

The time warping may also explain what you're seeing here and why you've been seeing undead that look exactly the same: They're temporal duplicates. That can happen if their future or past selves shifted into the same time. Perhaps Varius is intentionally creating time-clones of the undead to make an army. It would explain why we and others have often seen undead outside that look the same.

If these undead will allow you to approach them I'd like you to test this. You've been using colored chalk to mark the way around here, right? I'd like you to use it to make a mark in the dried blood on the armor of the closest one. If I'm right that mark will appear on the future versions of him. Oh, and you may as well make a mark on the wall too.

And since this place warps time, it's not a stretch to think it'd warp space as well. Have you tried drawing a map of it on paper? If you did, was there stuff like halls that impossibly overlapped and intersected each other? Rooms that took up the same space as other rooms?

Now head back the way you came and try to pick up your trail. Look for your footprints in the dust and the marks on the walls. If there aren't marks then make ones unique from the ones you used before to show where you've been.

I have a suspicion that "hollow disk thingie" you mentioned earlier is a teleportation gate of some sort. Can you tell us anything more about it? How excited was Varius to find it? If it is a tele-gate, and if we can figure out how to operate it, and if there's another working gate out there to connect to, and if... Well, there's a hell of a lot of "ifs," but it could be your ticket out of here. And even if we can't getting it working right we could use it to get rid of the keystone. Create a unstable portal and chuck the keystone in to destroy it.

Otherwise the only other option I can think of is to wait near the exit and leave when the rate of time passing in here is roughly the same as outside. That'll be when the storm is weakest. It'd probably be when the undead are bringing supplies in from out there.

Kaktus 2014/04/15(Tue)07:36 No. 570822 ID: 65a774
File 139757257021.png - (8.56KB , 900x450 , 102.png )

>[Scan all targets in area]
[Hostile Unique Elite Creature: Undead Captain Erik the fair haired.]
[Hostile Unique Elite Creature: Undead Captain Erik the fair haired.]
[Hostile Unique Elite Creature: Undead Captain Erik the fair haired.]
[Hostile Unique Elite Creature: Undead Captain Erik the fair haired.]
[Hostile Unique Elite Creature: Undead Captain Erik the fair haired.]
…
[…+31]
>[Check corruption level]
[2% and rising slowly!]

>You could go over to the entrance and just throw the keystone as far as you can into the storm... Varius won't be able to find it.
I’m pretty sure his undead minions can find it out there… after all, I can’t really throw it that far…
>It's obvious by now that time is warped within this place.
I… are you sure? That does sound a bit… but maybe you’re right. Weird stuff has been happening in here.
>Since this place warps time, it's not a stretch to think it'd warp space as well. Have you tried drawing a map of it on paper?
I tried but… the rooms and corridors didn’t really… fit. I’m guessing that’s what you meant with it warping space, huh?
>The time warping may also explain what you're seeing here and why you've been seeing undead that look exactly the same: They're temporal duplicates.
They are what? You mean… like they are the same guy from different times or something?

>You've been using colored chalk to mark the way around here, right? I'd like you to use it to make a mark in the dried blood on the armor of the closest one. If I'm right that mark will appear on the future versions of him.
…doesn’t seem to have any effect.
>I have a suspicion that "hollow disk thingy" you mentioned earlier is a teleportation gate of some sort. Can you tell us anything more about it? How excited was Varius to find it?
Varius was… well, excited is putting it mildly. I’ve no idea what that thing actually is or do, sadly.
>The only other option I can think of is to wait near the exit and leave when the rate of time passing in here is roughly the same as outside. That'll be when the storm is weakest.
I’ve already tried that. The storm just keep going at the same rate at all times. There’s no way I can survive out there without some kind of… magical barrier or something!

Wait, someone is still alive? Wait… Daniel?
Huh? Who are… me?
…that’s odd, I can’t remember meeting myself like… actually, I can now… what is going on?
Don’t ask me?

Insert Talking to yourself_

Ok so you appear to have a duplicate with red eyes instead of blue so I'm guessing he might be undead. BUT, if he is identical to you mentally then maybe you two could team up.

[scan both Daniels]

Huh, Daniel, meet dead-Daniel.

See if your alternate also carries a keystone. Maybe that's what Varius is after- why collect all the other keys when you can just warp time and space until you have a bunch of duplicates of the one you have?

>[Why do you persist?]
Hope.

[Scan both Daniels]

Well, looks like this is a future Daniel, and judging by the red eyes I think he's undead. Looks like he didn't make it out before Varius caught up to him. Don't take it that this is your future, though. He's a possible future you, or a future you from a parallel timeline.

Ask him what his story is, starting from when Varius hired him to check if it differs from what yours is so far. Also ask how long it's been since he arrived and if he still has the cyan keystone.

Ask him everything that he remembers happening after the point the cyan keystone entered this place. What didn't work to escape from here? What did Varius do? Does he know what the doorway with the runes on it does? Was the door to the Greater Elemental Rune vault opened? And why did he sound surprised that someone was still alive?

Gesture at all the undead Eriks and ask Future Daniel if he has any idea what or how this is.

Okay, so these undead are most likely not temporal duplicates. I really don't have a decent idea what they are. Maybe they're from parallel universes or from multiple parallel past or future timelines. Perhaps this place brings together multiple timelines, including possible futures, and moves back and forth along them. I don't know. It's all very confusing and timey-wimey.

You should know our corruption level is 2% and rising slowly. We might have a wraith messing with us. I'd suggest finding a mirror or other reflective surface soon; Preferably one you can take with you. Reflections can see through illusions like the ones wraiths make.

Kaktus 2014/04/15(Tue)10:39 No. 570864 ID: 65a774
File 139758357044.png - (8.57KB , 900x450 , 103.png )

>[scan both Daniels]
[“The Sacrifice” Status: Confused]
[“The Sacrifice” belongs to future player Teal (Defeated)!]

>Huh, Daniel, meet dead-Daniel.
Err… hello me?
Hello.
>Ask him what his story is, starting from when Varius hired him to check if it differs from what yours is so far.
-and then he asked me to make sure the stone fit the door.
That’s pretty much what happened to me too… wait, just to make sure I’ll-
A pickle with a top hat high on cheese dancing on a sexy naked mantis lady.
…well, I be damned, you are me!
>See if your alternate also carries a keystone.
No, I tried to throw it out the front entrance into the snow… it didn’t work out.
>Gesture at all the undead Eriks and ask Future Daniel if he has any idea what or how this is.
Don’t ask me. This whole place is messed up.
>Ask him everything that he remembers happening after the point the cyan keystone entered this place.
Well, as I said, I tried to hide the stone, failed and was caught by Varius. He wasn’t happy so he… um… I’m pretty sure he sacrificed me so his master should have the power to start some kind of cult on this side or something… I can’t really remember anything else until Varius was eaten alive by that thing he worship.
It ate him?
Apparently they’d won or something… the vault here had been open and they got whatever was in there which ensured that they won. Now the world is ending as the daemons are harvesting the few humans that are still free from… whatever they are doing to them. I thought this would be a perfect place to hide, what with all the weird time and space thingies that’s are happening here.
…so, if they get this stone… the world will end?
Apparently.
…shit.
…no pressure, I guess?

Insert Greet a scaly beast with several heads that regrows when you cut them off!_

Sooo what you're saying is, if you win you'll basically slaughter all humans?
Isn't that kind of short-sighted and all that? I mean, the slavery thing isn't much better but you're kind of justifying the opposing you thing we're doing.

>>570864
Okay, so, don't piss off Varius.

Maybe you could... swallow it and say that it disappeared when you put it into the gate?

Ok so this might be a stupid plan, but what if you die before you can be sacrificed? He doesn't have any other living people around and can't summon his master. But as I said, stupid plan, let's make that Plan Z or something.

Daniel, in the time period we came from before jumping to you we had run-ins with the Blood God's cult, so when we are now is before they're established. But in that same time period the cyan keystone also crossed our path. It was smuggled into Ängladal by a gang who were going to sell it to the cultists. Unfortunately we were just slightly too late and the cultists made off with it.

I don't know whether this bodes well for you escaping here. With all the time shenanigans the cultists could have delivered the keystone here before the cult exists. Or you escaped into the far past and the keystone made its way Ängladal as it did before... Though, that way it could be a way to make a time loop where the keystone never makes its way into the vault door. We'll have to find a way to get the keystone out of here first, though.

I assume when he says the daemons are harvesting the few remaining free humans he means mortals and not just humans. Ask what the daemons do when they harvested the mortals. They wouldn't be killing them, because that'd make no sense because daemons eat mortal emotions. Killing all mortals would just lead to the daemons rapidly starving to powerless insanity. So were the mortals kept alive? Changed somehow?

I'm a little confused about the part where future Daniel says he was sacrificed, then couldn't remember anything until Varius was eaten. Is he saying he was killed as the sacrifice, then Varius raised him as a bound intelligent undead and he only got control of himself again when Varius was killed? That last bit is odd 'cause I thought undead aren't unbound on their master's death unless their master set it as such beforehand.

Ask Undead Daniel what directions in this place he can remember. Which way to turn and color marks and all that. He might know routes that you haven't found yet.

Lets try this [Seize pawn "The Sacrifice" belonging to future player Teal (Defeated)] There ought to be no opposition to that since his player is defeated.

Okay, lets throw out some ideas to deal with the keystone. What about giving it to Undead Daniel and then he just keeps walking far into the depths of the labyrinth? With no need for food, water or sleep he could keep going indefinitely. Unfortunately I don't know if Undead Daniel will go "poof" once this timeline diverges too much from his, or if the Blood God could direct Varius to where the keystone is. Also, Living Daniel would still have to find a way to escape or face Varius' wrath.

Variant of that idea is Undead Daniel takes the keystone and tries to retrace his steps back to his future and hides it there, removing it from this timeline. It'd be effective if he could do it.

Another idea is to find our way to what we think is a tele-gate and see if we can somehow get it working. It's a long shot, though, and I'm not even sure if it is the kind of gate we want to activate. The way Varius was super excited, I worry it's some kind of portal to the daemon realm.

Even with no plan what we can do right now is get away from all these Eriks. They're creepy and I think they might be giving off the low-level corruption we're slowly soaking up.

>>570871
The keystone gives off a distinct magic signature that Varius could detect. Swallowing it would just end up with Daniel being disemboweled after being sacrificed to the Blood God.

>>570876
That'd only delay Varius and the Blood God until another living person could be captured. So that plan is worse than Plan Z.

Will Undead Daniel be affected by the storm, and if not, can he take out the stone?

>>570890
...Dammit, why didn't I see it earlier? This could totally work. With Varius busy and out of the way for several hours Undead Daniel could walk right out of here with the keystone. We just need to find the way back to the entrance before Varius finishes what he's doing.

Unfortunately the downside to this plan is Living Daniel is still stuck here unless we find another way out for him.

Kaktus 2014/04/15(Tue)13:20 No. 570894 ID: 65a774
File 139759320756.png - (8.19KB , 900x450 , 666.png )

>[Seize pawn "The Sacrifice" belonging to future player Teal (Defeated)]
[Error! You already own “The Sacrifice” in the future!]

>Sooo what you're saying is, if you win you'll basically slaughter all humans?
They aren’t killing them, they are… capturing them alive for… something.
>Maybe you could... swallow it and say that it disappeared when you put it into the gate?
They’ll gut you when they sacrifice you. There’s nowhere on your body you can hide that thing without them finding it.
It’s way too big to eat anyway…
>Ok so this might be a stupid plan, but what if you die before you can be sacrificed?
You’re not the only one they’ll sacrifice. Do you really think something as powerful as… that thing can gain a foothold in our world just because of one sacrifice?
>Is he saying he was killed as the sacrifice, then Varius raised him as a bound intelligent undead and he only got control of himself again when Varius was killed? That last bit is odd 'cause I thought undead aren't unbound on their master's death unless their master set it as such beforehand.
Hey, don’t ask me. I’m no master necromancer!

>Ask Undead Daniel what directions in this place he can remember.
Hmm… there’s isn’t a lot of interesting down here that you haven’t found already…
>Okay, let’s throw out some ideas to deal with the keystone. What about giving it to Undead Daniel and then he just keeps walking far into the depths of the labyrinth?
That… actually, that might work! If they never get a hold of this stone they’ll never be able to open the vault to the Rune!
It’s a good a plan as any, I guess.
>Variant of that idea is Undead Daniel takes the keystone and tries to retrace his steps back to his future and hides it there, removing it from this timeline. It'd be effective if he could do it.
I rather venture in further. If I go back to the entrance one of those Daemons are bound to find me.
>Will Undead Daniel be affected by the storm, and if not, can he take out the stone?
As I said, in the time I’m from the surface is crawling with Daemons… and I’m pretty sure I can’t exit through your time.
>Another idea is to find our way to what we think is a tele-gate and see if we can somehow get it working.
…err… do you know anything about ancient relics from the past?
…not really?
Case of point.

>What we can do right now is get away from all these Eriks. They're creepy and I think they might be giving off the low-level corruption we're slowly soaking up.
Right, take the stone and head further into the ruins. Hopefully they’ll never find you in there.
Don’t worry, I’ll make sure this stone never gets into their hands. Goodbye, Daniel.
Goodbye, Me… now, let’s head back before-
Ah, there you are, Daniel. How did it go with the stone?
Err… it’s stuck in the door. I can’t remove it from there.
Really? Hmm… so it’s supposed to be like that? Alright, good job, Daniel. Now come, I have a proposition for you.
…crap.

Kaktus 2014/04/15(Tue)13:35 No. 570896 ID: 65a774
File 139759410858.png - (157.45KB , 300x249 , Silly1.png )

Was it good for you too?
What are you talking about? We didn’t do-
Fastest man in the world, baby.
I’m still wearing all my clothes…
You weren’t a second ago… just long enough for me to finish.
…What in Tartarus!? You got to be kidding!
I just did it again… twice.
…why does my butt feel sore?
Oh, one of them was a backdoor kind of deal.
I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU FILTHY MAN!!
Whoop whoop whoop whoop!

[You are now the Flash, being pursued by and furious wonder woman (and probably the rest of the justice league after they hear about this…)! What do you do?]

Insert Faster than a speeding bullet… on crack!_

run back in time and join your past self for some fun.

No, run to the future where they have either already caught you or you've already escaped, to the future's future, and hide when they'll no longer be looking for you.

What's stopping you from killing them all? From how often it shows up in the comics kryptonite is as common as dirt.

Oh just change your costume a little bit and claim to be a new Flash.

>>570896
Go find that little piece of shit hedgehog and show him who's boss.

What, did you seriously think they had a chance in hell of catching you?

Has it occurred to you to you that the faster you go the more your mass increases, due to relativity? As the fastest man in the world, you're also the fattest, fatty. Which I suppose is appropriate, for a pervert you has to resort to rape to get any.

>What do you do?
Accidentally accelerate to c, achieve infinite mass, and explode. The coroner won't be sure to rule the cause of death as velocity obesity. Or he or she wouldn't, if the universe hadn't exploded.

Find Batman, he probably already knows and your best hope is to convince him not to join the angry mob before it's to late.

Do the worlds fastest suicide.

Just because you can.

give in to your murder lust. Kill all of the Justice League.

Kaktus 2014/04/16(Wed)08:18 No. 571016 ID: 65a774
File 139766148367.png - (422.42KB , 749x350 , Running at the speed of diagonal.png )

>Go find that little piece of shit hedgehog and show him who's boss.
Wrong universe, dude.
>Has it occurred to you to you that the faster you go the more your mass increases, due to relativity? As the fastest man in the world, you're also the fattest, fatty.
Err… I’m pretty sure that’s not how fatness works. I mean… Batman got more mass then the penguin and batman isn’t fat while the penguin is… like a ball. Note to self, use the penguin as a football next time you see him…
>Accidentally accelerate to c, achieve infinite mass, and explode.
The only thing that happens if I reach the c is that I go all timey wimey on you all.
>Do the world’s fastest suicide.
Meh, I’ve already come back from the dead twice this week… my insurance premium is high enough as it is!
>Find Batman, he probably already knows and your best hope is to convince him not to join the angry mob before it's to late.
How? You don’t find the Batman, that sexy beast of a man finds you.

>What's stopping you from killing them all? From how often it shows up in the comics kryptonite is as common as dirt.
>Give in to your murder lust. Kill all of the Justice League.
Hmm… superman is easy… I’ll just have to go down to the corner store and buy some kryptonite; they usually go for about 75 cent a Kilo… Green lantern and the Martian man hunter is easy too… I just need some yellow paint for the flashlight and a lighter / gas can combo for the alien. But… Wonder woman is going to be harder. Sure, I can probably hit her a few times at super speed before she reacts but after that… I rather not get my head cut off by her sword or strangled in that lasso she has. Of course, this is all a moot point because of batman. The author will bend over backwards to make sure he wins no matter what. Lucky bastard, gets both the looks, charm and the authors favor? I need a better plan for him… maybe some wine?
>Run back in time and join your past self for some fun.
…that’s it! I run back in time and murder them before they become heroes! A flawless plan! Let’s go, speed force! Wrooo-

Kaktus 2014/04/16(Wed)08:18 No. 571017 ID: 65a774
File 139766149511.png - (851.16KB , 959x517 , Marvel at the utopia!.png )

>No, run to the future!
-oooom! …wait, this isn’t the past... is it the future? Dammit, I shouldn’t have stopped and preventing myself from saving Hitler from myself by killing myself… and why is it an utopia!? I mean, shouldn’t Darkseid or Brainiac have conquered the world by now? Oh, hey, look! It’s a plane! It’s a bird! It’s a flying super dick!

Kaktus 2014/04/16(Wed)08:18 No. 571018 ID: 65a774
File 139766150627.png - (90.90KB , 355x200 , Dammit, superman! Can\'t you go one day witho.png )

What’s up, supes?
You are not a registered citizen. The Justice Lords demands that you identify yourself and die!
…don’t you mean “or”?
I know what I said!

Insert At least this is a future where no 8 year old boy needs to lose his parent’s because some punk with a gun_

I'm pretty sure Flash is Justice Lord Superman's conscience. Also just rip the front of the suit and run off, you're still faster than him. On your way go find Batman and leave him a note reminding him his parents wouldn't be proud of him.

>Wonder woman is going to be harder
Her weakness is bondage. She loses her powers when tied up. And you're way faster than her, and she carries her own rope / whip with her. It's a no brainer, dude.

>The Justice Lords demands that you identify yourself and die!
...so if I don't identify myself, I don't die?

How on earth is Supes ruling the world like a tyrant? Where's the Bat we know he always has some Kryptonite on hand to stop Supes from doing this kind of thing. Vibrate your atoms at the correct frequency to phase through the wall and run to Gotham.

Kaktus 2014/04/16(Wed)10:03 No. 571036 ID: 65a774
File 139766778818.png - (131.37KB , 400x188 , Superman_ wut r u doin_ Superman_ Stahp!.png )

>Her weakness is bondage. She loses her powers when tied up. And you're way faster than her, and she carries her own rope / whip with her. It's a no brainer, dude.
The problem is that bondage is my weakness too, if you know what I mean. Bow chicka bow wow!

>...so if I don't identify myself, I don't die?
Err… I… um… that’s…
No one has ever asked that before?
No but… breaking all the bones in your body doesn’t count as killing you, right?
…right, I’m the Flash.
>I'm pretty sure Flash is Justice Lord Superman's conscience.
How dare you imitate the Flash!? Prepare to die!
Err… I am the Flash! Really! I came from the past!
…How dare you be the Flash! Prepare to die!
Wait… shouldn’t I be your conscience or something?
Yes, that’s why I have to kill you. You see, without my conscience I finally made a world free of crime, war, fear and poverty!
…how the hell did you do that?
We murdered everyone.
…you murdered everyone?
Yes. There are no crimes if no one can commit them!
…and you rebuild most of the world into a futuristic city?
Yes.
…how many years in the future is this!?
Years? You disappeared four days ago.
…you went nuts, killed everyone and then rebuilt everything in four days!?
Yes.
…
>Vibrate your atoms at the correct frequency to phase through the wall and run to Gotham.
Well, that’s fun and all but… err… need to go and find batman, see ya later, di-

Kaktus 2014/04/16(Wed)10:03 No. 571037 ID: 65a774
File 139766780073.png - (197.23KB , 635x473 , This is my Bat Scowl!.png )

>How on earth is Supes ruling the world like a tyrant? Where's the Bat we know he always has some Kryptonite on hand to stop Supes from doing this kind of thing?
-Off… and he’s standing right behind me… let me guess, you’re with Supes on the whole kill everyone thingy?
Grr!! I’m… Bat… man!
So you are, you sexy thing you. So… um… I guess I’ll just go back four days?
No, you need to die so we can save the world! …because I’m Batman!
…why can’t I vibrate out of your grip?
Because I got this batman thingy in my bat belt… because I’m Ba-
You’re Batman, yes I got it.
>leave him a note reminding him his parents wouldn't be proud of him.
Your parents wo-
Mention my parents again and I’ll fry your brain with my eye beams!!
…you have eye beams? Since when?
Since I’m the freaking Batman!
Right… Is there anyone who isn’t a deranged lunatic in this world?
Of course not, they are all DEAD!!! LIKE MY PARENTS!!! Because my parents are dead! …I’m Batman!

Insert No, I’m Batman!_

Wait, Batman doesn't have any super strength, just start running and watch out for whatever trick he'll try to trip you and you should be able to get away.

>>571041
Neither does Flash.

> …why can’t I vibrate out of your grip?
> Because I got this batman thingy in my bat belt… because I’m Ba-

Okay, thought of an actual plan.

Flash has no parents. Flash has physical training. Flash has a belt. Flash is clearly the Batman deep undercover and everyone else is a doombot or batbot or whatever. Be the Batman and Batman everything else to death.

He has eye beams, eh? Hey, you might actually have a use here for those stupid looking pointy lightning bolt thingies on your ears. Super speed slip 'em under his cowl and jab his eyes out with them.

At the same time knee all the gadgets on his belt within reach. Maybe the anti-vibration thingie will be one of them. And knee him in the groin while you're at it.

kick him in the funk 1000 times in an eye blink

Kaktus 2014/04/16(Wed)14:55 No. 571081 ID: 65a774
File 139768533928.png - (92.06KB , 683x384 , Now kiss.png )

>He has eye beams, eh? Hey, you might actually have a use here for those stupid looking pointy lightning bolt thingies on your ears. Super speed slip 'em under his cowl and jab his eyes out with them.
No way! Do you know how much this costume costs!? It’s almost a dollar for ten of them! A DOLLAR!!

>Wait, Batman doesn't have any super strength, just start running and watch out for whatever trick he'll try to trip you and you should be able to get away.
…So, why can’t I run super-fast?
Because I got a [Science!] in my pocket that [Science! Real Science! It’s not just some mumbo jumbo that sound sciencey, it’s actual sc-]
In English?
I got thingy that makes you slow… because I’m Batman!
>Kick him in the funk 1000 times in an eye blink.
Ow!
Did you really think my batman crotch would be unprotected against bat attacks!?
Dammit, stop with the whole bat thing already!
>At the same time knee all the gadgets on his belt within reach.
Ow! …again!
Enough fun, let’s finish this…

>Flash has no parents. Flash has physical training. Flash has a belt. Flash is clearly the Batman deep undercover and everyone else is a doombot or batbot or whatever. Be the Batman and Batman everything else to death.
Wait, no! You’re a clone!
…I’m a what?
Don’t you see? I’m the real batman! My parents were murdered at a young age!
…my parents was shot in front of me when I left a theater that I was too afraid to watch.
My mother was murdered on my birthday… while she was preparing my birthday party… which is the reason she got home early… which is why she met the murderer!
…my backstory is angstier! Stop trying to out angst me! I’m the king of angst! I am BATMAN!
MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!!
NO, MY PARENTS ARE DEAD!!!
You guys are so gay!
Shut up, Bruce!
I mean, my whole species was exterminated but you don’t see me complain.
SHUT UP, BRUCE!
…wait, where did Flash go!?
…son of a-

Kaktus 2014/04/16(Wed)14:55 No. 571082 ID: 65a774
File 139768535612.png - (249.38KB , 640x480 , PINGAS of doomy death!.png )

Meanwhile, four days ago in the death star of Justice (and the American way…)!
That doesn’t look like a star at all! It looks more like a giant peni-
Max!
I was going to say pen… I promise!

…

-and while they were arguing I escaped back here. Neat, huh?
…that part about the dinosaur was so made up.
…wait, I’m the only one that notice he made out with all the girls and batman!?
Of course he did, I’m batman after all.
I still can’t forgive you for what you did earlier.
Hey, I’ve already told you it was a joke. There’s no way I’m that fast!
Still, it was a pretty tasteless joke.
Clearly, Flash need to be punished with all due haste!
…you’re bringing this up just because you want to do something dickish again, am I right?
Why else would I do it?
Err… justice? Freedom? All that stuff?
Bah, just lies parents tell their children when they are young… like Santa!
Santa isn’t real!?
Now, for that punishment…

Insert Coal in his stocking!_

>>571082
Beg them not to tie you up and spank you, that would be awful.

He has to team up with Aquaman.

Summon biggest fish.

They are making you Aquaman's room-mate. Don't worry, it's not as bad as it's sounds, it's Batman: The Brave and the Bold Aquaman.

Aquaman roommate.

Also, remind Superman that his adoptive parents, his pet dog, his pet horse, his cousin Supergirl, and the bottle city of Kandor are all still alive.

>Now, for that punishment
They already informed you Santa isn't real! This is clearly the worst punishment of all! They've ruined Christmas for you forever! You can't even go back in time and enjoy the old ones anymore!

Kaktus 2014/04/17(Thu)09:35 No. 571226 ID: 65a774
File 139775250475.png - (157.76KB , 300x300 , A sitcom in the making.png )

>Remind Superman that his adoptive parents, his pet dog, his pet horse, his cousin Supergirl, and the bottle city of Kandor are all still alive.
You do realize my adoptive dad is dead, right? And my mother is dying a slow death? My dog shits everywhere and that stuff is so corrosive that it eats right through my floor and my horse is even worse in that regard! Then there’s my sister… she’s so stupid that she thought Lex Luthor was the moon and therefore needed her protection against all the other superheroes and I haven’t seen the bottled city of Kandor in months!
That was a city? I tough it was some kind of alcohol… hmm… that does explain the screaming.
Wha- It’s not even shaped like a bottle! And you could clearly see the houses and people in there! The hell, Batman!?
*Burp*

>They already informed you Santa isn't real! This is clearly the worst punishment of all!
Something that’s common knowledge isn’t really a punishment…
…the Easter bunny isn’t real either…
Oh god, make it stop!!
>Beg them not to tie you up and spank you, that would be awful.
…well, you heard the man, Supes.
Time to try out my FIST OF FURY!
Oh gods, no! I meant that either Wonder woman or batman would spank me!
Dream on…

>Aquaman roommate.
Guys! Whales! Let’s use the whales, guys! WHALES!!
Hmm… wrong Aquaman. Let me just…
>Don't worry, it's not as bad as it's sounds, it's Batman: The Brave and the Bold Aquaman.
Outrageous!
…did you just change his personality?
Of course I did.
Awesome! Now turn him into a chicken!
But… that’s wrong!
Poppycock! It’s not the personality, but the heart that count. Whatever superpower you might have it’s only your heart that might win us the fight!
>Summon biggest fish.
…and summon the biggest fish, of course!
No don’t! It’s too dangerous!
Ha! I laugh at the face of danger!!
You’ll doom us all! DOOM US!!! DOOMED!!
Let there be… FISH!!

Kaktus 2014/04/17(Thu)09:35 No. 571227 ID: 65a774
File 139775251861.png - (171.81KB , 480x360 , Its not stealing_ Its referencing.png )

>Summon biggest fish.
*Splat!*
See!? No need to be afraid as long as your heart is in the right place! …um… guys?

Kaktus 2014/04/17(Thu)09:35 No. 571228 ID: 65a774
File 139775253171.png - (395.19KB , 800x600 , Game of the year, every year.png )

[The Flash has been killed by the biggest fish!]
[Game Over!]

Continue <--
Password
Options
Porn
Prune
Porridge
Activate Heart mode
Play Doom instead
Quit

Outrageous!

play doom

Password: LizardWizardBlizzard69

>>571228
>Play Doom instead

Dopefish porn.