Kaktus 2012/08/05(Sun)02:26 No. 439432 ID: b3ca75
File 134415881159.png - (20.79KB , 800x600 , 1.png )

-ctional now... thought nothing seems to be happening down there...
That sounds just like your girlfriend describing your sex life! Sing!
Gentlemen… can we please focus on the objective at hand? If it is working, we’ll hear them at any moment now.

Insert command_

Building the oracle I see?

Hello again Jacob. And Davross, Freyas. I just wanna tell you all what dicks you turn out to be in the future.

Jacob, you become a lying, revenge obsessed pedophile with absurd magic powers, who tries to manipulate and hurt his robot daughter to take revenge on the world.

Davross, you murder pretty much you entire family. Every single one of your wives and children, and children, and you had a lot of each.

Freya, well, we don't know much about you yet. But you're working with these dickbags, so that's a black mark against you.

Oh, also, you're almost all certainly complicit in making the surface of this world uninhabitable too.

>>439433
Im pretty sure Jacob simply creates the one who gives Liz her sentience. He's promptly murdered afterwords from what we've gathered.

Yep. Be careful about that Jacob. You're going to have another creation after your lizard maid that's going to replace you and turn all evil and junk. It will be your murderer.

It's not very nice. You should make a fail safe switch or something to deactivate it easily, just so that it can be safely brought down after it goes feral.

>>439433
No, that's Virtue who does that not Jacob. Jacob seems to die fairly early on. Possible he could end up an asshole beforehand, but we have no evidence of that.

THOU SHALT NOT EAT THE LAST DONUT!

>>439433
Can't we be a little more cryptic? We can't change the past, anyway. If we can, it's your enormous mouth that is condemning all to damnation.

>>439433
Uh, no, Jacob doesn't become that. That is Virtue. Jacob is quite dead in the future. Virtue claimed to be Liz's father because he is responsible for Liz becoming sentient. He discovered a way to trigger it, I suppose.

>>439436
No, Jacob isn't killed by Virtue. He's killed by Pride.

Get your facts straight, guys. Also keep in mind that us telling them these things might in fact be CAUSING these events to happen in the future. Time moves in strange ways. Not to say that we can actually do anything that will change the future in our timeline... that is quite impossible. It will happen regardless. We can only influence if we are responsible for that future or not.

>>439432
Okay hello, we're here again at this point in time. This Oracle machine you're making... is it capable of lying? Liz got quite a bit of information out of it and I would like to ensure that none of it is false.

I'm not convinced that Jacob's murder doesn't rule out Jacob becoming Virtue, Virtue assimilating Jacob, Jacob being uploaded into Virtue, Virtue being an offshoot Jacob consciousness, or Virtue being somehow crafted from Jacob's dead remains.

I mean, come one, Wrath's conversation sprite is a Jacob recolor. And Wrath acted as if we were somehow wrong when we said he was Virtue, but not Jacob.

>We don't know if being jerks to these guys causes this whole mess
And we don't know trying to help them doesn't, too.

We might as well do whatever we want, because while we're ignorant, any and all paths could lead to the bad future.

Mostly I just wanna get a rise out of them. Maybe make them question mucking with forces they obviously don't understand.

By the way, am I right in my suspicious that your safeguards built into Virtue prevent him from directly harming people?

Say 'Hi' to Oracle for us when you activate him.

Kaktus 2012/08/05(Sun)03:51 No. 439463 ID: b3ca75
File 134416390670.png - (20.88KB , 800x600 , 2.png )

>THOU SHALT NOT EAT THE LAST DONUT!
It-it was Davros! I swear! Please don’t hurt me…
Er…
>Lots of blabber on cross purpose.
It seems… very divided. Was it like this the first time to, professor?
kind off, yes.
>dicks!
Well, Davros would certainly need one! Sing!
oh, har har.

Kaktus 2012/08/05(Sun)03:51 No. 439464 ID: b3ca75
File 134416391888.png - (21.12KB , 800x600 , 3.png )

>mucking with forces they obviously don't understand.
>making the surface of this world uninhabitable too.
Wait, we weren’t able to change that? But we… no… I guess that means I have to end it completely.
Wait what? The world will end? Are you sure? I… I guess this kind of power isn’t meant for mortals after all…
>Jacob is killed by Pride.
…
>Oracle machine.
Oracle? What is Oracle? This is Virtue! Or at least the prototype, I might need to scale it down in the near future thought…
>capable of lying?
It’s a machine. It wouldn’t be able to work against it programming at all.
>your safeguards built into Virtue prevent him from directly harming people?
In theory, yes.

Gravens health is critical!

Can you tell us the password to Lizbeth? Kinda important. Also try and tell Virtue that revenge is best focused on actual responsible individuals and not everyone in the vincinity.

>>439432
We're unhappy to report that you've still completely failed to stop the end of the world.
Lets fix that, shall we?

Jacob, you're going to be murdered by Pride at the age of 37. That directly results in things getting many times worse, so for the sake of science we want people to go kill the hell out of Pride first.
If they succeed then it will prove the future can be changed and vindicate your work.

As for the rest of you, we'll tell you how to avoid your own horrible fates once it is no longer possible for Pride to murder Jacob."

>>439464
Wait, what? Something's happening, we have to go!

WAKE UP, LIZ!

Seeyah Jacob, good luck stopping the end of the world. I'll try to yell at you less about what a dick your future self and/or son is in the future, next time.

>Graven's health is critical!

Emergency systems restart! Friend's life is in danger, activate overdrive rescue parameters!

>>439464
There is going to be some reorganization going on after Pride murders you. The machine you are building is going to be referred to as "Oracle"; it will have near-omniscience, but little ability to affect anything.
The entity named "Virtue" is a lunatic machine with very strong powers of an unknown nature that believes itself to be Jacob. It is dedicated to revenge via the end of all life.

This is one of the reasons why it is absolutely critical that Jacob survive.

Also: Jacob, we don't yet know enough about time manipulation to affect things before our first meeting. The machine you are working on now - the one which we will come to know as Oracle - must be instructed to prioritize researching how this can be accomplished and to provide this information to Lizbeth once she has her password.

Now tell us, and only us, her password.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Look!

> Gravens health is critical!

Damn you all! What the fuck are you guys even doing? Don't act like you know anything! You don't!

Well we aren't sure exactly what ruins the surface, just that it leaves some sort of toxic gas or perhaps radiation.
And be careful about the 'unable to alter its own programming' bit. Our time's Oracle is at minimum a competent golemancer, so he likely has at least some ability to modify himself.

We need to go now because of things happening in our time. See you later, or perhaps earlier.

>>439485
>oracle is a golemancer
What? Do you mean Virtue? They aren't the same thing.

Kaktus 2012/08/05(Sun)05:30 No. 439508 ID: b3ca75
File 134416980552.png - (21.20KB , 800x600 , 4.png )

>tell Virtue that revenge is best focused on actual responsible individuals and not everyone in the vincinity.
uh… I’ll remember to program that into him.
>Can you tell us the password to Lizbeth?
Password? I haven’t created her yet!
>we want people to go kill the hell out of Pride first.
Well, that can be arranged…
What? Are you really going to believe everything this thing says that blindly? What if it’s lying?
Well, If the world is on the line, can we really take the risk that it isn’t?
>prioritize researching how this can be accomplished and to provide this information to Lizbeth.
If that can help us prevent this, then it shall be done.
>just that it leaves some sort of toxic gas or perhaps radiation.
That sound more like one of them biological nukes people are building. Does that mean the war will end with everyone nuking each other?
>ability to modify himself.
How can a non-sentient machine do anything so advance as self-improvement? That sound impossible!

Kaktus 2012/08/05(Sun)05:30 No. 439509 ID: b3ca75
File 134416981566.png - (22.52KB , 800x600 , 5.png )

Lizbeth health is critical!

Warning! Critical damage received! Security measures online! All systems emergency protocol activated!

What’s hap- -ng!?
It’s o- -Ing t- -evre- -ca- -off!
this isn’t su- -appen!

>WAKE UP, LIZ!
Unable to connect to mainframe. Try again later.
>Emergency systems restart! Friend's life is in danger, activate overdrive rescue parameters!
Error – Authorization Denied.
Insert Password_

Kaktus 2012/08/05(Sun)05:30 No. 439510 ID: b3ca75
File 134416983051.png - (22.13KB , 800x600 , 6.png )

Lizbeth health is no longer critical!
Kevros health is critical!

All system are at normal values again…
What happened? I’ve ne- ne- ne- ne-

Kaktus 2012/08/05(Sun)05:30 No. 439511 ID: b3ca75
File 134416983745.png - (21.29KB , 800x600 , 7.png )

Memory sequence cancelled…
Warning! Alien software detected!

I- -’m sorry to interrupt, but this was the only way I should be s- -ure she wouldn’t be listening. Please, what- -ever you do, don’t tru- -st her! Don’t trust –Data expunged-! She is us- -ing you to her own end! Ple- -ase…

Insert get back to liz already_

Don't trust who?

Insert Liz.

Another wasted opportunity. Thank you very much, guys.

> Don't trust who?
Lizabeth.

I already suspected we were being used, but this confirms my fears. Someone is using our unique nature to shape reality according to its will.

>>439511
The only 'her' we know of that isn't Lizabeth or Maggie is Oracle. So let's discount ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING that Oracle told us. Like say, Jacob being killed by Pride. Or Jacob being dead, and not the Iracundus in the future that we've been talking to thinking it was Virtue.

Oracle = Sloth, count on it.

>>439535
Also I find myself amused by the fact that Wrath was putting Liz through those trials to teach her several important lessons, and we completely failed to latch onto the first one- GET PROOF.

We don't know if Jacob got killed by Pride. We don't know who destroyed the surface. We don't know what really happened to Maggie, or what Ridcully will actually do with the gem we gave him.

We need to confirm our facts, not trust in the "Spoiler Machine" we found in a facility full of CRAZY ROBOTS.

>>439511
You can't give us a name, so give us a description! You've only narrowed it down to HALF THE POPULATION!

Ok, back to the scientists.

---
>>439508
Non-sentient machine? I contend the requirements for the control of what you are attempting to accomplish are, in fact, essentially that for a sentient mind. The issue of agency comes to mind, but that's more tangential.

Regardless, all the information we have which is relevant to your present comes directly from the machine you are currently working on. I suppose your trust in its veracity should match your faith in your work.

As far as the password? You can set her password to whatever you tell us, since it only matters that the password is set before Lizbeth uses it.

>>439521
I don't see the point in not trusting Lizbeth. I mean, worst case, so what? So we've got an unreliable narrator / player character, but that's an annoyance at best. I mean, we're here for her, and her trying to trick us into working for her interests instead of just using us is silly.

And besides, as it's been pointed out, everyone's been telling us absolutely everything and we don't know who to trust. Glowy dream robot is no more credible than the rest.

Eh, the clown is supposedly female as well. Though it is entirely untrustworthy due to massive creepiness, so I doubt we'd get a warning for that.

>>439549
I trust in the personality that we know as Liz. Anything beyond that is unknown to us.

> Glowy dream robot is no more credible than the rest.
I've been saying this since the beginning! You lot are far too gullible!

Why do you guys need to give "spoilers", newly acquired information without any validation, whenever we meet with Jacob? You've been doing this even before we meet the Oracle, which is female only in my sis/bro bad and stupid jokes! This isn't a flashback! We're effectively interacting with the past! You guys never stop to think about this!

Kaktus 2012/08/05(Sun)11:48 No. 439674 ID: b3ca75
File 134419251466.png - (21.36KB , 800x600 , 8.png )

>Don't trust who?
-Data Expunged-!
>Lizabeth.
>Oracle.
Affirm- -ative!
>give us a description!
A female machine. You just met her a few - - ago.
>Glowy dream robot is no more credible than the rest.
Trust me or no- -t, just please keep my warning in mind. It might change the fate of th- wait… some- -one coming!?

Kaktus 2012/08/05(Sun)11:48 No. 439675 ID: b3ca75
File 134419252967.png - (21.61KB , 800x600 , 9.png )

Error – Sloth.exe has been terminated!
WARNING! Unauthorized user detected!

Lizbeth? Are you in here? It’s time to wake up… wait, what is this? Whoa…

Insert sudden graven_

Quick! Grab that popcorn!

Good to see you are okay, if that is really you. Welcome to the malfunctioning time machine commonly known as 'Lizbeth's head'.

Ah, so the dream robot is Sloth. Interesting. We should ask Ridcully later if he can tell us who Sloth is.

>>439675
So hi. Turns out Liz has some implanted memories, except they're sortof interactive since they're memories of us talking to her creators in the past. Which we do while viewing the "memories". It's more like a window into the past to be honest. We're not utilizing it very well so far. I suggest you be very careful here.

Hmm. Considering your unique method of sensing things, what does this look like to you? Oh! Also what happened while Lizbeth was asleep? We got some worrying status reports!

Hey, Gravs. Sup. We're the voices of magic, or something. We've been offering Liz our dubious guidance.

I assume you can see here? If your blindness is self inflicted, I'd expect your inner dream eyes and your visual cortex or whatever to still work.

Anyways, summary: Liz got dream-hacked by Wrath, who's a dick, by the way. He wanted Liz to play along with things we figured were very bad for the health of the other Lizards in the party, so we told him to gtfo. He dream-killed Liz in retaliation. Now she's stuck, and can't seem to reboot.

We'd very much appreciate your help in getting her online.

Curiously enough, the weirdo interactive memories of the past are the normal part of the night. We've been getting them every time she goes to sleep.

Yeah, let's not trust the Oracle any more than we have to from this point on.

I have a sudden suspicion that we just caused the end of the world, because we convinced them that everything they were doing was useless.

Great going guys.

>>439708
Be fair. We ALSO almost certainly triggered infighting that would logically lead to the more ambitious members trying to consolidate as much power as possible. Also murder eachother. In my opinion, that is much more likely to be the cause of the apocalypse.

Graven! Help! Lizbeth is dead but not dead and something happened to Kevros while they were cuddling and it's all Virtue's fault and Lizbeth is evil so don't trust her!

Graven, Lizbeth got knocked out of her body by some jerkass named Wrath. She can't reenter when her body rebooted 'cause there's a password. We need you to find a way to break the password... Wait, wait, wait, wait a second! Maybe Jacob didn't set the current password!

Graven, when you enabled the basic security measures on Lizbeth, did you reset her password as well? If you did, we promise not to yell at you (too much) for not telling her what it is, if you input it right now and restart her body.

There were also some critical health status alarms for the party. First Graven, then Lizbeth, then Lizbeth's cleared, but Kevros' went off. What's going on out there?

Kaktus 2012/08/06(Mon)07:08 No. 439730 ID: b3ca75
File 134426213393.png - (21.48KB , 800x600 , 10.png )

>Quick! Grab that popcorn!
oooo, popcorn!
>I assume you can see here?
Well, Kind of “nom”, yes. As we are “nom” inside a really advance “nom” construct, we aren’t actually seeing, all the “nom” information is transferred directly into our brains instead “nom”.
>We're the voices of magic, or something.
Wait, you are “nom” the one of many? I-I-I don’t what to say… um… It’s an honor to finally meet one of the most powerful things that exist in the universe? Um… yea, let’s go with that… “nom”.
>window into the past.
Really!? No wonder the technology they are using is so advanced! These guys must be precursors, right? Oh gods, think of what we can learn!? Think of the possibilities! Think of the oh gods I’m hyperventilating… need to calm down, graven, calm down…
>Lizbeth is evil so don't trust her!
Why, yes, I’ll listen to the strange voices I just met that is telling me one of my friends are pure evil, that really the most logical thing to do…

Kaktus 2012/08/06(Mon)07:09 No. 439731 ID: b3ca75
File 134426214498.png - (21.46KB , 800x600 , 11.png )

>Lizbeth got knocked out of her body.
Wait, what? How does that even work? I-I’m clearly o-out of my league here…
>did you reset her password as well?
Um… Not so much reset as create one from scratch. And to be fair, I didn’t really believe she would need to know it as the only thing you need it to is either when you are trying to take control of the construct in question, which she already have… had control over, and when you reconfigure any of the subsystems, which I would help her with later today, remember? I would of course let her change it to whatever she wanted to when we had more time to set up a decent security system.

And the password… um… it’s… It’s Maggy43, okay?

Password accepted…
Initiating startup protocols!

Kaktus 2012/08/06(Mon)07:09 No. 439732 ID: b3ca75
File 134426215973.png - (16.61KB , 800x600 , 12.png )

uhgn…?
Liz!
Urg… heavy armor, crushing spleen, can’t breathe…
Oh s-sorry…

Kaktus 2012/08/06(Mon)07:09 No. 439733 ID: b3ca75
File 134426217397.png - (16.89KB , 800x600 , 13.png )

>What's going on out there?
Well, something went wrong down there and the whole place started to collapse.
Then we got attack by this giant robot! I mean dragon! Giant dragon robot! And Kevros fought it off while carrying you on his back!
I-I did?
Actually, you guys manage to make the floor collapse. I’m blaming your chubbiness, so lose some weight, chubby!
Wait, so no giant robot unicorn thingy?
no robot. And that was rather mean, graven!
oh…
Well, I’m only telling the truth. Anyway, I going to rent a hot spring to clean off all this blood and grime so I’ll just leave you ladies gossiping for now…
I… um… nevermind...

Insert command_

We're out of the ruins? So we missed the chance to nab one of the macguffins for ourself. Dang. Oh well, at least if the place collapsed, we kept it out of anyone else's hands, for the moment.

>you only need the password when you are trying to take control of the construct in question
Well, considering Liz had a forced out of body experience, that's why we needed it, I guess. So Ira was only half lying then- we would have had to posses someone else, if we didn't have the password, or access to help.

>Maggie43
Aha! It's not unrequited then. We have a chance to set them up. Maaaags, he liiiiikes you.~

I guess we should ask what happened. How bad did the ruins collapse? We're not getting paid, are we?

I recommend we do no questing today. We should prioritizing getting together with Gravs and trying to prevent future brain hacks, because that sucked, fo serious.

>>439733
Beckon Maggie over
"Go with him, Maggie. Hug him, confess your love, and ask him to teach you non-sexual intimacy."

Then wait until she's gone.
"Ok, Kev. Out of that armor and into bed; I need intimacy myself."

Ah, too bad Graven's out of our head. Oh well at least I managed to warn him you are evil. When that turns out to be completely not the case at all I will be there to say "I told you so, oh wait never mind."

>>439735
Uhhhhhh.

>>439733
Once he leaves, tell Maggy that he likes her, so she has a chance. Suggest that she spend some time with him that isn't just about sex.

Also I'm thinking today we go find out exactly what is wrong with the surface that makes it uninhabitable. Get our facts straight.

>>439747

Yes this. One sentence of narrative is not enough! We crave adventure! To the surface!

Everyone is fully healed right? That's a thing that happens when you sleep, right?

Shut up, guys. We have more pressing matters.

> hot spring
It's here. It's here and we don't have enough females. I fear I am alone in this, though. Everything is about matchmaking, no one cares about harems and sex changes anymore. It's not only disappointing, it's disgusting.

However, before that we should cross reference some things, confirm what was said by the Oracle. Alley Magic’r’us is our next destination.

First off, check if the party completed the contract, and get paid if so.

Tell Maggy that Graven really likes her, in more than a base sexual way, he just didn't know how to express it. Push her to go after him and talk, before anything happens to get in the way.

After all that mucking about in the ruins, a long soak in the hot springs sounds nice. How about renting a spring for each party member so they can all soak the dust and grime out. Get their clothes laundered, and armor cleaned and shined as well. You'll all feel better afterwards.

Confirming that what has been told to you should be a high priority. Checking that the surface is still uninhabitable is a task that sounds straightforward. You're going to need protective clothing in case it is, plus equipment to take and analyze samples to determine what is making it uninhabitable.

>>439779

I'm afraid you are the disgusting one sir, both womanizing and misandrist. Anyway, don't forget that sex change can go both ways~

>>439878
In more ways than one your judgment is hasty and prejudiced, sir and/or madam. Not only oblivious to the fierce opposition we face, you're also ignorant to the fact that the male beauty is best appreciated in a sauna.

Kaktus 2012/08/07(Tue)07:47 No. 440153 ID: b3ca75
File 134435086573.png - (16.43KB , 800x600 , 14.png )

>what happened?
I think the computer thingy said someone deactivated the pizza elemental shielding or something. Most of the place is now devoured by the pure element of pizza and is and probably can’t sustain any kind of normal life.
>you are evil.
I am? I mean… um… Shh, don’t tell anyone or I’ll… I’ll eat a kitten! …that’s evil, right?
>Everyone is fully healed right? That's a thing that happens when you sleep, right?
Actually, it was probably less than an hour ago that they escaped the ruins, so I don’t think they have had time to heal yet.
>the male beauty is best appreciated in a sauna.
…w-why are you s-staring like that? D-do I have s-something on my face?
Dirty thoughts…
>We're not getting paid, are we?
w-well, um… we did give them the laser you picked up and told them it was the relic. Here’s your share of the payment.

You gain 2000gold!

NOT THE LASER! …well, at least I can go shopping!
Err… It’s Sunday, most shops are closed today…
…no...shopping? ...no...

Kaktus 2012/08/07(Tue)07:47 No. 440154 ID: b3ca75
File 134435087841.png - (16.49KB , 800x600 , 15.png )

>find out exactly what is wrong with the surface that makes it uninhabitable.
The only way I know of to the surface is the surface elevator in the wizard academy. They would also be the one with any kind of safety gear suited for the surface and any kind of information about it. Of course, they won’t let you in unless you are a member.
Actually, Graven is a member, he can probably get you inside if you need to!
>Tell Maggy that Graven really likes her, in more than a base sexual way, he just didn't know how to express it.
WHAT!? How do you know… is it really that obvio- I mean, I have no idea what you are talking about, ha ha… ha… um… ha?
>Alley Magic’r’us is our next destination.
Well, it would probably be one of the few shop open on a Sunday…

So, should I try to catch up with Graven, visit that kinky shop in the alley or something else entirely?

Insert PURE EVIL!_

>Laser relic
Dang, that's a good bluff. And at least a pizza elemental means no one is getting to the relic anytime soon.

We were successful? So... did we... level up?

>I'm evil?
Well maybe. Like lots of things, our sources aren't terribly clear, or trustworthy. Don't worry your pretty little metal lizard head about it, Liz.

>plans
I'd chill, relax with your buds. Get breakfast, enjoy normal life a little bit. Given Graven his space, and time for Maggie to go after him, if she wants. Then later, we can meet up with him for security bolstering. Then maybe if there's a library open on Sundays, we can see if we can fact check any of the things we've been told.

Everyone should catch up with Graven. At the hot spring. Where they shall bathe.

Oh and when Graven was in your crazy time-traveling dream-realm thingy we go to when you're asleep(we told you about that right?) he called you a friend! I think he's just a big old softy, really.

Yes! Evil people eat kittens to gain more essence of evil, because kittens are pure evil! Have you ever watched one playing? SADISTIC MONSTERS

Er, visit the shop in the alley. Then catch up with Graven. That should ensure you find him at the worst most awkward moment possible. But who cares, shopping!

> WHAT!? How do you know…
UNRELIABLE SPOILER MACHINE evolved into GOSSIP BITCH!
NOSEY BITCH evolved into SHIPPER ON DECK!

>>440188
Mind flayer sir, you took the thoughts out of my mind. Let's do this.

No, you're not evil, Liz. I suspect your moral guidance is mostly originating from us, and we certainly aren't evil. One of us is being a complete doofus because some mysterious robot showed up right at the end of your dream and told us not to trust 'her', and when we asked for more information he described her as a 'female machine'. You're not a machine, obviously.

Drag Kevros with you to the kinky shop.

HOT SPRING PARTY YAY.

Catch up with Graven and bring him with you to the kinky shop! That way he can pick up a present for Maggie while you pick up one for Kevros.

>>440198
> we certainly aren't evil
> you're not a machine
We're also extremely bad liars and delusional fools.

> drag Kevros
Excellent idea.

>>440460
Are you saying we are evil, or that Liz is a machine? Actions speak most loudly of one's moral compass and our actions have not been evil. Remember that we're a collective. If you think you're evil, well it doesn't make much of a difference. Secondly, she's an organic construct, not a machine. It's an important distinction.

>>440461
> It's an important distinction.
Whatever works for you.

> Are you saying we are evil, or that Liz is a machine?
It's almost funny how you don't realize what you're doing.

>>440465
Okay, I don't know if you're trying to roleplay or trolling but you're pissing me off. Stop it.

go to the shop. alone.

>>440154
Everybody catch up with Graven. Hot springs fun is go!

Kaktus 2012/08/08(Wed)10:20 No. 440551 ID: b3ca75
File 134444645412.png - (15.62KB , 800x600 , 16.png )

>we certainly aren't evil.
You guys are a lot more chaotic then evil. Or incredibly insane, it’s kind of hard to tell the difference, really.
>library.
The only library in town is the one in the wizard academy. At least, the only one not filled with crappy vampire love novels.
>he called you a friend! I think he's just a big old softy!
Just like a big cute teddy bear! Remind me to hug him next time we see him <3
>Kittens = SADISTIC MONSTERS
I KNEW IT! PURE EVIL! …wait, wouldn’t eating one be an act of good then? I mean, you are after all destroying one of the foul evils of the world, right?
>Drag Kevros with you to the kinky shop.
err… what are you doing?
Dragging him was a complete failure…

Kaktus 2012/08/08(Wed)10:21 No. 440553 ID: b3ca75
File 134444651557.png - (13.28KB , 550x400 , 17.png )

…Just asking him to come with you was a huge success!

What'reya buyin? Stranger… I mean, Welcome to Ultros Kinky shop! We have everything you’ll ever need for some bedroom fun and relaxing! If we don’t have it then it’s either illegal or just plain physically impossible! Please, take our catalog!

Whoa… they got a lot of stuff here… wait, how do this one ev- That can fit i- really bend that wa- how is that physic- …wow… I’m saving this catalog…

!!!!!
“Clonk!”

Insert boner wish list_

Umm... can we just use this as an excuse to tease Kevros? I mean, there's nothing here you really need to buy, and I'd rather not waste precious monies on toys. We're going to need to fund serious adventuring supplies.

Besides, you can craft a solid illusion of any sex toy or bondage accessory you could ever want (and no need to clean 'em when you're done, just dispel them to nothingness!). If you window shop now, you'll have a mental catalog of things to conjure later for free.

Wow, look at all that neat stuff! They've got nine different colors of maracas, a clock, a microscope, and what appears to be a gelatinous snow globe.

See anything you like? Ask your friend if he sees anything he likes.

>>440562
Solid Illusion sex toys? I like how you think. I'm not sure Liz is good enough to make stuff that vibrates though. Or, for that matter, liquids.

>>440553
We should probably start out slow. Can you make rope that doesn't chafe? If not, buying bondage rope is a solid investment. Same with lube. Fuzzy handcuffs are iconic and the mechanism might be complex enough to be hard to summon, but on the other hand bondage rope works well enough for that sort of thing. A dildo is nice but we can summon that. Same with a dildo harness. We could splurge on something really weird just for a joke item...

Ask Kevros to pick out something.

You want to talk with Mr Typhon.

nobody wants a dragon dildo? weird. anyway, say the secret password, FUNGAHH.

See if they have a book on lizard-folk use of their tails in erotic and sexual acts, as well as a book on how to safely use magic to spice up your sexual encounters. Buy them both; They'll come in handy later.

Show Kevros the catalog to tease him. Specifically the more lewd parts, and those you're interested in. Whisper what you'd like to do with those things, and slowly tickle around his ear hole with the tip of your tongue. See if you can make his codpiece break from the strain of holding his boner back. Bonus points if it flies off. Extra bonus points if it bounces off the wall.

>>440733
Yes

In fact, we're looking for the book EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT BONDAGE BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK!

I can trust that none of us forgot our encounter with the Oracle?

Kaktus 2012/08/10(Fri)10:52 No. 441405 ID: b3ca75
File 134462112538.png - (13.07KB , 550x400 , 18.png )

>maracas
Everyone love maracas, right?
>Mr Typhon
Sorry, Stranger, but the manager is not in right now.
>Can you make rope that doesn't chafe?
Well, I think so, yes.
>Ask Kevros to pick out something.
hgn- I… I… I don- err… um.. I…!
He keeps staring at a box containing a sexy nun outfit…

>Show Kevros the catalog to tease him. Specifically the more lewd parts, and those you're interested in. Whisper what you'd like to do with those things, and slowly tickle around his ear hole with the tip of your tongue. See if you can make his codpiece break from the strain of holding his boner back. Bonus points if it flies off. Extra bonus points if it bounces off the wall.
Hey, Kevros… look at this one…do you know what I would what to do with it? I’ll whisper whisper whisper…
!!!!!

Kaktus 2012/08/10(Fri)10:52 No. 441406 ID: b3ca75
File 134462113726.png - (3.06KB , 550x400 , nya!.png )

Phweeeooo!

Kevros launches Codpiece!
Wooden wall has been destroyed!
Stone wall has been destroyed!
Cave wall has been destroyed!
Goblin has been slain!
Skeleton has been slain!
Grand Dragon has been slain!
Zz’kunze, Prince of BEES! has been slain!
Codpiece has achieved orbit!

Nya nya nya nya…

Kaktus 2012/08/10(Fri)10:52 No. 441407 ID: b3ca75
File 134462114679.png - (13.35KB , 550x400 , 19.png )

HOLY BATMAN!
Oh g-god, I’m s-so sorry!
Don’t sweat it, stranger, just buy this reinforced codpiece and we’ll call it even.

>Fuzzy handcuffs, book on lizard-folk use of their tails in erotic and sexual acts, book on how to safely use magic to spice up your sexual encounters, EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT BONDAGE BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK!

You buy:
Fuzzy handcuffs – 10g
reinforced codpiece -15g
Skill book (erotic tails positions) – 25g
Skill book (magical sex encounters) – 25g
Skill book (Bondage) – 25g
New skill learned: erotic tails positions (novice)
New skill learned: erotic Magic (novice)
New skill learned: Bondage (novice)


Insert Nya_

Wait, it achieved orbit at waist level, underground.

You should get out of the way. If it doesn't lose momentum from all the stuff and rock it keeps plowing through (and it doesn't look like has so far), it's going to crash back through the opposite wall, eventually.

Let's go get breakfast, see what there's to do in town with the other shops closed. We can hunt for Graven in the afternoon.

>>441410
I think his boner launched it upwards, but you can't be too careful. Also, we really need to avoid BEES! now just in case. Looking for stuff to do sounds good.

>>441411
No, it was launched THROUGH THE CURVATURE OF THE PLANET. And it still had enough delta to achieve orbit. Holy shit, Kevros, what god are you a Paladin of?

>>441407
Get that nun outfit.

>>441414

I agree. but do it without Kevros noticing it and surprise him with it.

...in bed.

>>441407
Grind your Erotic Magic skill as much as possible.

Run back to your room with Kevros.
"That much power in one object is a threat to everybody! We need to contain it immediately!"
Throw him on the bed
"Fortunately, I was designed to contain objects of great power. Remember my sacrifice~"

>>441420
Not until the second date!

Kaktus 2012/08/10(Fri)14:07 No. 441433 ID: b3ca75
File 134463283824.png - (8.94KB , 576x288 , 20.png )

>Get that nun outfit, but do it without Kevros noticing it.
Good idea! You buy it while he’s distracted trying to get the new codpiece to fit. It’s only 20g!
>Let's go get breakfast.
It is a little late for breakfast, but we do enjoy a really nice brunch at mercenaries’ guild.
>avoid BEES!
OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH!
>Kevros, what god are you a Paladin of?
I think he is praying to Batman, The God of Justice and Mercy!
>Not until the second date!
At least wait to the evening.

>see what there's to do in town with the other shops closed.
That’s odd… Everything seems almost deserted and they have plastered posters about some kind of arena opening tonight everywhere. It almost feels like a ghost to-

Miss Lizbeth Ssus?
AH! WHERE DID YO- I mean… um… yes?
I got an urgent message for you… ahem…

You buy:
Nun outfit – 20g

Kaktus 2012/08/10(Fri)14:07 No. 441434 ID: b3ca75
File 134463285444.png - (10.62KB , 576x288 , 21.png )

Whoa! Where was that orchestra hiding?
(Awe inspiring music that cannot be described with simple world, just pretend it so beautiful that a single tear escapes you manly/feminine eyes… or that it sound like this: TOOT!)
Miss Lizabeth Ssus, You are hereby officially invited to the grand opening of the CITY City Arena at 8’o’clock this evening. Please feel free to bring a date.
Love and kisses /// His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Crux Ansata, Lord Davros Hoarder.
err…

You Gain:
Ticket x 2

Kaktus 2012/08/10(Fri)14:07 No. 441435 ID: b3ca75
File 134463286385.png - (8.63KB , 576x288 , 22.png )

…wait, where did they go? I didn’t take my eyes of them!

Insert Weee_

>Paladin of Batman
Kevros, not that there was any doubt before, but you are now officially the greatest paladin ever. Period.

>Invitation, Davros
Oh gods, Maggie's murderous Dad is in town and he wants to kill you. Or wants you for some evil plot shit. Or wants to use you to get to maggie and kill her. Either way we need to warn Maggie he's in town, and find Graven for our security upgrades before the arena turns out to be another kidnapping or hacking attempt. Because it's going to be some kind of trap, for sure. We just don't know for who or how.

>>441436
I gotta agree.

Let's get that Enchanted Tiara of Power to prepare in case there's a fight. Then we visit the hot springs to tell our friends what's up.

>>441435
>perfectlysafe.jpg
Naaaaaah. I'm sure this will go well. On the other hand, you may want to go somewhere else, instead, like the famous Teleporting Opera.

Oh, and leave Graven and Maggy alone. They need some time together, to avert all those suicides and murders.

>>441439

sounds good, as long as we don't intrude on them doing stuff.

An Arena! Fortunately this isn't based in a TRPG with PERMANENT DEATH! We don't get delicious incest, however.

Anyway, I know the right guys for this event! Helga, Sonya and Olof! What are you waiting for? Let's go!

Kaktus 2012/08/10(Fri)16:49 No. 441497 ID: b3ca75
File 134464255315.png - (11.47KB , 550x400 , 23.png )

>the famous Teleporting Opera.
Not only do you not have the money for the ticket (The prices are way to high), they are also playing in the city of Schlogenwürstguard, which his hundreds of miles from here!
>What are you waiting for? Let's go!
Well… it’s not opening for another 10 hours so…
>PERMANENT DEATH!
Actually, I’ve only been able to rewind time when I am the one that dies. I don’t think I will be able to do it if someone else croaks, so they would kind of be permanent dead.
>They need some time together.
Except Graven is oblivious to Maggys feelings and Maggy is too scared to approach Graven, locking them in a standstill.
>visit the hot springs to tell our friends what's up.
HOT SPRING PARTY! Aw yeah!

Kaktus 2012/08/10(Fri)16:49 No. 441498 ID: b3ca75
File 134464256206.png - (11.73KB , 550x400 , 24.png )

…Sight… Welcome to the spa. All our masseurs and professionals are currently unavailable. We still got both private and public hot spring running thought. If you are looking for someone, please state that person’s name and leave a message or whatever.

Insert Heat_

Leave a message for Gravs, arranging a meeting for this afternoon.

Then go over to see Mags, who ninja-vanished into the corner there. Maybe try to act subtle about it, so the desk girl doesn't see you talking to yourself.

Or even better? Use your audio-illusion ability to put the two of you in a cone of silence. You just need appropriately phase shifted cancellation waves.

Say you're sorry to bother her, but you really have to tell her something. Davros is in town, he's up to something, invited you to yada-yada, and you really thought she should know. You've heard... things about the two of them.

Hey, there's a secret passage in the men's sauna! Trust me on this! You just need a sex change potion!

> PERMANENT DEATH!
Voodoo? Save scumming? Miracle? Schrödinger? Life2? Zombies? Heaven or Hell? Magic Hot Springs? Going to the Hospital? Gamma or Omega rays? GET OUT OF JAIL card?

Maggy was right in full view so the receptionist knows she's there. So we can talk to her without seeming crazy. Go say hello and tell her about what just happened, then get a pivate hot spring for the three of you, but have Kevros wait outside until you're done talking to Maggy about Graven. That way the receptionist won't overhear the private stuff.

if Kev dies, make sure you commit suicide.

ask for Maggy Mags and Gravy Gravs.

>>441498
Say you're here to join Graven.

Then grab Maggie and everybody join him in the spring.

Kaktus 2012/08/11(Sat)07:19 No. 441753 ID: b3ca75
File 134469476066.png - (11.43KB , 550x400 , 25.png )

>You just need appropriately phase shifted cancellation waves.ss
…what?
>Hey, there's a secret passage in the men's sauna!
I don’t think the spa even has a men’s sauna, they are all unisex. Besides, if you wanted me to ogle naked people you could have just say so!
>if Kev dies, make sure you commit suicide.
I don’t think that will work. I’ll probably just rewind to between his and my own death.
>Voodoo? Save scumming? Miracle? Schrödinger? Life2? Zombies? Heaven or Hell? Magic Hot Springs? Going to the Hospital? Gamma or Omega rays? GET OUT OF JAIL card?
As far as I know, there is no known means to cheat death… except the whole time rewind thingy…

>grab Maggie and everybody join him in the spring.
I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t barge into a private hot spring without the occupiers permission.
>Say you're here to join Graven.
yea, sure, I’ll ask Mr.Voiddrake if you can join him or whatever. Meanwhile, please stay here or something.
>act subtle about it, so the desk girl doesn't see you talking to yourself.
She clearly doesn’t have any fucks to give about us, besides, she just left to talk to Graven.

Kaktus 2012/08/11(Sat)07:19 No. 441754 ID: b3ca75
File 134469477241.png - (11.64KB , 550x400 , 26.png )

>go over to see Mags.
hey, maggy!
err… there is no maggy, only us… us mice. Yea, just mice, no maggy here… um…
Y-you’re not completely invisible, you know. We can still see you…
fine, I’m here, what do you want?

>Davros is in town, he's up to something, invited you to yada-yada. You’ve heard... things about the two of them.
wha… um… wait… HOW DO YOU KNOW THERE ARE THINGS BETWEEN US!?

Maggwen -3 loyalty!

Insert loyal with cheese_

the all-knowing AI told us. we was just trying to help. and nobody will ever know... from us.

not that it's unnoticable, mind you.

...I'm sorry! >_<

You remember the machine I met in the ruins? That told me all the boring, confusing secrets about magic and the past? It also told me who has all the magic foci. ...and some personal info on them. ...and it turns out he has one. ...and that machines really don't have as good a grasp on personal privacy as they should.

I, I didn't bring it up before because I wasn't sure I was supposed to know those things, and didn't think you'd want your secrets aired out in front of everyone. I'm sorry if I've betrayed your trust, but I had to warn you he's here and up to something in case he's out to kill you. ...I just don't want anything bad to happen to you. *Hugs*

(-3 cancels out all the progress we made in the ruins, but at least it doesn't put us in the negatives, yet).

>>441754
"The oracle. I'm sorry; I've been waiting for a chance to get you alone some place private to tell you everything it told me, but with this it can't wait any longer.
This room is too public; are you ok with talking about it in front of Graven? Or Kevros?"

Way to slap her across the face with trauma, Liz. You need to work on your subtlety and tact.

The AI computer thingy we talked to when we got teleported away from that room had files on people. We looked up a bunch of people and noticed Davros and Maggy had the same last name. Simple as that. Well, a bit more complicated, but probably be better to discuss it more privately.

>>441754
Tell her the Oracle gave you more information than you really would've liked, and some jerk in your dream last night was going to show you even more you think but you managed to avoid that.

Kaktus 2012/08/11(Sat)09:23 No. 441781 ID: b3ca75
File 134470223798.png - (11.96KB , 550x400 , 27.png )

>Way to slap her across the face with trauma, Liz. You need to work on your subtlety and tact.
I really need to work on most of my social abilities. I only got about four days of social interaction as far as I can remember, remember?

>>441760
I… I don’t know how I should react to this… it’s so… weird. I-I’m sorry I… I kind of jumped to the wrong conclusions there for a second…
>Hugs.
…
>talking about it in front of Graven?
H-he already knows most of my secrets, I think I can trust him with a few more…
>Or Kevros?
If you trust him, I’ll trust him…

Excuse me, but Mr.Voiddrake accepts you request and yadda yadda or something. The changing room is the first one on the left, have a nice day.
Wait, aren’t we going to pay for the e-entry?
Whatever, don’t care, go away…
w-where going i-i-in… I-I’m… um… I g-got to… err…

Maggwen +2 loyalty!

Insert command_

I'm so confused right now.

>>441781
Tell her you can help her get changed if there's something special she wants to put on.

Don't forget about her face. I wonder if she keeps her cowl on even in the bedroom? We could put an illusion on her to hide the scarring...

>>441781
"Kev, we need to use the changing room first, ok?"

Take Maggy into the changing room, and pull off her cowl and whatever mask she has. Pokerface the entire time; responding to her scarring would upset her. Cast an illusion on her face so it looks like it's completely normal.

"You can't take those into a bath, but I think I can help. Take a look."
If there's no mirror in the changing room then make a solid illusion of a hand mirror so she can see for herself.

"Just an illusion. Baby steps."

Ladies changing room seems reasonable if she needs calming down. We've just dumped all her issues (physical damage, murderous dad, Graven, secrets violated) on her at once.

Not sure if we really need to offer an illusion, Gravs is blind after all, and using earth senses to see. I mean, if he's sensing minerals, everybody probably looks like skeletons to him anyways.

>>441830
It's not for Grav, or us, or even Kev for the most part. It's for her.
She feels like an ugly deformed freak, and this takes away her excuse for hiding behind her cowl.
She'll feel naked without it, but it's a safe environment and with the illusion nobody can see it anyway. It's confidence building and trust-building.
We want her to feel what it's like to be normal for once, and have that be around friends. From there we can work on improving her self-image while we work on a way to reconstruct her face.

(A flesh golem prosthetic? Flesh-shaping? We won't know how we can help until we know what we can do.)

> flesh golem prosthetic

Rip off your face and give it to Maggie.

A solid illusion made permanent or continuous would probably be easier to pull off.

Kaktus 2012/08/11(Sat)14:23 No. 441870 ID: b3ca75
File 134472022620.png - (9.32KB , 550x400 , 28.png )

>Rip off your face and give it to Maggie.
Insert hilarious yet pathetic death sequence here. You are dead and all that.
>Ladies changing room.
Actually, we only get one private changing room as graven rented a private hot spring.
>We won't know how we can help until we know what we can do.
Well, I’ve hear of Biomorphic magic capable to heal scars, but never something of this magnitude.
>A solid illusion made permanent or continuous would probably be easier to pull off.
This would be possible… At the moment thought I’ll need to be close by to keep maintaining it.
>Kev, we need to use the changing room first, ok?
o-of course! I’ll wait outside, call me when you done, okay?

One quick change later…

>I wonder if she keeps her cowl on even in the bedroom?
w-well…um… I’m done, shall we head to the pool?
I guess that answers that…

Kaktus 2012/08/11(Sat)14:23 No. 441872 ID: b3ca75
File 134472023514.png - (9.12KB , 550x400 , 29.png )

>pull off her cowl and whatever mask she has. Cast an illusion on her face so it looks like it's completely normal.
You can't take those into a bath, but I think I can help. Take a look.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING! DON’T TOUCH THE MASK!

Maggwen -1 loyalty!

Kaktus 2012/08/11(Sat)14:24 No. 441874 ID: b3ca75
File 134472024530.png - (9.22KB , 550x400 , 30.png )

DON’T LOOK AT ME! OH GODS! DON’T LO-

Maggwen -2 loyalty!
Maggwen -3 happiness!

Kaktus 2012/08/11(Sat)14:24 No. 441875 ID: b3ca75
File 134472025341.png - (9.06KB , 550x400 , 31.png )

…don’t…
Just an illusion. Baby steps.
…
…

Maggwen +6 loyalty!
Maggwen +15 happiness!
Maggwen is no longer Depressed!
Maggwen is now Unhappy!
Maggwen is now loyal!

Insert co-
Are you okay in there? I heard screaming!

>>441875
"I was just showing Maggwen my nun outfit."

>>441875
Tell him we're fine. Just fine.

Warn her that you have to be nearby to maintain it. She'll need the mask when you're not there, but tonight at least, she can leave it off.

Man. I really do not regret picking Illusionist. Wait, Graven's unique method of sensing will be fooled by this, right?

>>441875
Call out: "It's alright, Kev! Don't worry about it!"

Then to Maggy, quietly: "Some day soon I hope to really fix it...
But tonight at least I can do this much for you."

Can we get an Unmasked Maggy icon?

>>441877
Of course he won't be fooled, but the cowl wouldn't hide it from him either.

>>441877

no. no, it won't. in fact, I'm pretty sure Maggie's happiness level is about to drop straight to suicidal.

Well Maggie you look positively gorgeous. TOO BAD GRAVEN IS BLIND HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Maggie. Master of the erratic meters. ...although really, it's more our fault than hers.

You should be fine as long as I don't get knocked unconscious again, and no one stronger than me tries to dispel it.

Let's head out, and have our bathhouse scene powwow. We've got planning to do.

Kaktus 2012/08/11(Sat)17:29 No. 441925 ID: b3ca75
File 134473139364.png - (9.02KB , 550x400 , 32.png )

It's alright, Kev! Don't worry about it!
…I-if you say so…
>TOO BAD GRAVEN IS BLIND!
He should still be able to feel the difference, but then again, this was more for Maggys sake then Gravens.
>Warn her that you have to be nearby to maintain it. She'll need the mask when you're not there, but tonight at least, she can leave it off.
Someday soon I hope to really fix it, but tonight at least I can do this much for you.
…I… thank you…

Kaktus 2012/08/11(Sat)17:30 No. 441926 ID: b3ca75
File 134473140580.png - (8.37KB , 550x400 , 33.png )

> Let's head out, and have our bathhouse scene powwow.
…right. Just give me a second. I will be right behind you!
To “adventure”!

…hmm, seems like Graven has fallen asleep…
…zZzZz… mmm, Lizbeth… that’s the spot… yes… zZzZz…
…

Insert “adventure”_

Progress on the harem is a go! Still that sorta thing will hurt Maggie before shes ready to accept the wonders of polyamory. Wake that man up! By dumping ice cubes over his head.

Just say hello loudly. We don't want to risk more illusions disrupting the one we already have in place.

>>441927
Genius. Solid illusion ice cubes go.

>>441926
Ice cube dumping sounds like a fine plan.
Tell him you brought Maggy.

tell him to fantasize about Maggy instead.

>>441926
Well, you are apparently the epitome of lizard beauty. Can't blame a man for having sexy dreams about a sexy lady. I mean, you can't control what you dream about. With that in mind I don't agree with dumping ice cubes on his head. That's a very unpleasant way to wake up. I'd rather we nudged him awake or something. With telekinesis or in person.

>>441948 Or both telekinesis and nudging at the same time.

Considering the apparent content of his dream, waking him up in this scenario may not be... wise. I think we should wait for Maggy and let her do it, unless he keeps mumbling about Lizbeth, in which case we nudge him awake with telekinesis or something.

Kaktus 2012/08/12(Sun)06:35 No. 442195 ID: b3ca75
File 134477853322.png - (8.27KB , 550x400 , 34.png )

>Can't blame a man for having sexy dreams about a sexy lady.
Well, then you can’t blame we for fantasizing about all the guys, hubba hubba!
>I think we should wait for Maggy and let her do it, unless he keeps mumbling about Lizbeth.
oh? You brought toys… how nice…
Yea… I don’t think his stopping…
>telekinesis.
mmm… zZzZz… using magic? Naughty girl…
>nudge.
…take it easy… we have time… zZzZz…

Kaktus 2012/08/12(Sun)06:35 No. 442196 ID: b3ca75
File 134477854208.png - (9.02KB , 550x400 , 35.png )

>Ice cube dumping sounds like a fine plan.
AAH! COLD! Wha? Where I- What did you do that for!?
you talk in your sleep!
…oh… sorry.
>tell him to fantasize about Maggy instead.
What? Ew… she’s like a sister to me! Fantasizing about her would just be weird… and wait, why do what me to fantasies about her?

Insert unnecessary drama_

>>442196
...
Slap him silly? Slap him silly.

some form of physical punishment does seem appropriate here. hey, you're a girl, so it'ss okay for you to physically abuse guys!

>like a sister
Well, that's going to interfere with our matchmaking. Here's to hoping he's wrong, or in denial.

(Maggie: but you said he liked me! You lied about that!? minus a million happy and loyal).

>>442203
Yep! Hooray for double standards!

Well, I suppose it's not a double standard in-universe until someone complains about Graven hitting a girl or something, but whatever.

>>442196
tell him that he has fantasizing about you and you are already taken

>>442196
"You know, lying about that actually hurts her more than you could possibly understand. Be honest with her, and yourself."

Make an illusion of a card in front of Maggy that says "He knows you're here, stealth or no.

>>442209
This

Kaktus 2012/08/12(Sun)10:10 No. 442211 ID: b3ca75
File 134479141525.png - (8.83KB , 550x400 , 36.png )

>tell him that he has fantasizing about you and you are already taken.
I-I can’t control my dreams! And please accept my apologies, I d-didn’t mean to offend you…
>Make an illusion of a card in front of Maggy that says "He knows you're here, stealth or no.”
Done in the nick of time! She was just about to run away when I got it up. At least it will stop her in her tracks for a short while.
>Hooray for double standards!
Gender is irrelevant. Physically abuse is never okay! Gods, I sound like Kevros…

You know, lying about that actually hurts her more than you could possibly understand. Be honest with her, and yourself.
Honest? What do you mean, honest? …wait, hurt her? S-she’s… oh gods, I’ve been so stupid, haven’t I? OH GODS, what am I supposed to do!? I-I don’t know t-this kind of stuff!

Insert wasn’t this an action RPG thingy once?_

…wait, where did I put my rubber ducky?

>>442211
"...You really don't, do you? I suppose that explains why I thought you meant you liked her THAT way. Go talk to her. Apologize for accidentally leading her on. Provide moral support. I should probably do the same, since, y'know, it's my fault too."

>I don't know about this kind of stuff!
Okay, that's fine. Look it's obvious neither of you really knows how to handle this, and you're both letting your personal problems get in the way. But maybe you can work something out if you both stop hiding and lying about it.

>wasn’t this an action RPG thingy once?
It's still an RPG. We're just working on our relationship meters. That's important if we want to play the power of friendship bullshit later, and if we want to unlock the best ending.

>Where's my rubber ducky
Silly Kevros, you gotta put down the rubber ducky if you want to play the saxophone.

>>442211
Wait, I thought they already had sex. She mentioned something about a thing he did with his tongue... Well, whatever, we can ask Maggy about that later.

Tell him that he can fix things easy. Go out on a date with her. Give it a shot.

>> Physically abuse is never okay!

Keep going on like that young lady and we might have to revoke your Evil status.

Maggy doesn't know this stuff either. Just talk to her, give her a chance.

Poor Kevros, make him a rubber ducky.

Maggie and Graven sitting in a tree, K.I.S.- wait... did we ever determine if lizards even kiss, or what?

MATCHMAKER MATCHMAKER MAKE ME A MATCH.

hahaha.

Hey, weren't there characters besides lizards once? Not that I care. I like lizards.

>Poor Kevros, make him a rubber ducky.

You should go rubber his ducky.

Wait, that sounds kinda... wrong... oh well.

>>442423

it sounds so very right to me.

yo G-dawg. keep your robes on. if it's meant to be, you'll somehow do it. I know you want to, you faux-incestous comrade, you.

Kaktus 2012/08/13(Mon)16:29 No. 442545 ID: b3ca75
File 134490057523.png - (4.94KB , 550x400 , 37.png )

> Hey, weren't there characters besides lizards once? Not that I care. I like lizards.
Meanwhile in the Hall of Justice!

…So I stole his pants while he where wearing them!
Ha, Darling! That was just marvelous, ja?
…have we really been drinking for three day straight?
And we’re not even drunk, ja?
well, I’m a dwarf. We got like four livers, what is your excuse?
I’m magnificently Insane, darling!
oh, right…

Kaktus 2012/08/13(Mon)16:29 No. 442546 ID: b3ca75
File 134490058573.png - (9.15KB , 550x400 , 38.png )

>Silly Kevros, you gotta put down the rubber ducky if you want to play the saxophone.
Rubber ducky, you’re the one… You make bath lots of fun~♪
> You should go rubber his ducky.
Well, If things go the way you guys want it to, I’ll probably put rubber on his ducky soon...
> Keep going on like that young lady and we might have to revoke your Evil status.
Exactly as planned… I mean, oh noes, let’s eat some kittens and flip of some puppies to gains some of them evil points!

> yo G-dawg. Keep your robes on.
But… but I’m already naked! And so are you! And… wait, you didn’t mean it literally…
> Maggy doesn't know this stuff either. Just talk to her, give her a chance.
Your right, I have to talk to her, set things right…
> Tell him that he can fix things easy. Go out on a date with her. Give it a shot.
I-I don’t know… Isn’t t-that a little sudden. I mean, we’ve been friends since I was fifteen, I can’t ju- wait, who was that who just went into the pool. That’s… Oh gods, she’s here!? Why did you let me blabber on if she was standing right in the room! O-oh gods! What do I do, what do I say?

You know have control over Graven…

Insert Tree_

Take it easy there, Captain Cant-see. Just talk to her, be yourself. (except "yourself" doesn't talk much) Hmm...

>>442546
Ask how much she heard. Apologize for putting your foot in your mouth. Or tail in your mouth if that's more appropriate slang for lizard awkwardness.

Oh Kev, you're beautiful.

>3 days of drinking
I'm more impressed that their money hasn't run out yet. Maybe the bartender is smart enough not to call an assassin and psychopath out on the rising tab.

>What do I do?!
Hey Gravs! It's us again, the voices of magic. We hopped over from Liz just to give you dating advice. Be honored and all that.

And don't worry. We got loads of experience talking people through these kinds of situations. I mean, usually these people aren't lizards, already naked, and painfully friend zoning themselves, but we can make it work. Trust us. We fixed up Kev and Liz already, so we do have some lizard experience on our resume, actually.

>Oh gods, she’s here!?
I though you used earth magic mineral senses to sense things in lieu of vision? Her ninja vanish trick shouldn't mess with that. If you need more help, she's that big lizard shaped empty depression in the water over there. You can sense water, right?

>>442546
Hey, Gav.
My advice? Give Maggy a hug. You'll have time to think about how you feel, since you don't have to say anything until the hug is over.

>>442639
A hug while they're both naked would lead to even more awkwardness, and a possible mental lock-up by Graven. It'd be better if he just gently held Maggy's hand with his while saying his bit.

Calm down, Gravin. Take a deep breath, and focus on your breathing. Look to where you guess Maggy's eyes are, and begin.

Tell her you're deeply sorry, and rather ashamed, you never noticed that she had such feelings towards you before, and had to have a third-party lay it out for you. To tell the truth, it's not something you've had much experience in spotting... Or any experience, for that matter. You're rather socially awkward, as she already knows... Uh...

Oh, to hell with it! Just blurt out you want to take her on a date. Her choice of venue, since you don't know what to do. You'd like to know what to do, but, again, you have no experience in this field.

>A hug while they're both naked would lead to even more awkwardness, and a possible mental lock-up by Graven.

That sounds amazing. Do it.

Huh. Shouldn't the bottom of the tub be stone or something similar? I'm not seeing why the magical sight didn't spot her.

In any case, give Maggy a chance. You've known her for ten years now and you obviously enjoy her company. More importantly, you seem to genuinely trust her and care for her well being.

Plus, there was that thing with the password.

> you now have control over Graven

AWKWARD BONER MOMENT

Kaktus 2012/08/14(Tue)02:59 No. 442856 ID: b3ca75
File 134493836992.png - (9.05KB , 550x400 , 39.png )

>Hey Gravs! It's us again, the voices of magic. We hopped over from Liz just to give you dating advice. Be honored and all that.
…Is this really the most important thing a god like entity has to do right now…
>the bartender is smart.
The bartender is probably out of the equation…
>Give Maggy a hug.
B-but I’m naked! And she’s naked! And I can feel every curve of her body in the wat- oh gods…
>AWKWARD BONER MOMENT.
Huge success!
>I'm not seeing why the magical sight didn't spot her.
Well gee, sorry I can’t focus after getting forcefully woken up by getting an ice tray shoved up my bum!

Kaktus 2012/08/14(Tue)02:59 No. 442857 ID: b3ca75
File 134493838402.png - (9.48KB , 550x400 , 40.png )

>Ask how much she heard. Apologize for putting your tail in your mouth.
…Everything…
Um… she doesn’t sound happy at all…
>It'd be better if he just gently held Maggy's hand with his while saying his bit. Look to where you guess Maggy's eyes are, and begin.
Maggwen… I-I’m sorry, and ashamed, that I’ve never noticed your feelings for me. I’m a real fo-
psst, you are staring at her chest, her eyes are higher up!
err… um… I… you want to go on a d-date? Er.. Your choice, my treat?
…

Insert co-

Blast! I forgot to ogle Kevros bare bum before he got in!
um.. You know I can hear you, right?
:lizbeht: …crap

Well, her curves gave you an awkward boner, so that pretty much clears up the "like a sister" hesitation. Eh, enough for us anyway.

Seriously though, you were blushing when you admitted you set Lizbeth's password as "Maggy43". Are you sure you've never thought about Maggy as more than a friend?

I know you aren't good at interacting with other people. You're scared. But this is Maggy we're talking about. You've known her since you were fifteen. You can trust her, she knows you pretty well, you don't have to worry about messing up a little. She's got your back.

Okay. This is probably the point where you become paralyzed by stuttering fear and embarrassment. Hopefully this triggers Maggie to say something, because we're dying out here.

>Is this really the most important thing a god like entity has to do right now
Don't worry, we can multitask. And it's not like Liz needs us at the moment.

>Is this really the most important thing a god like entity has to do right now

Are you saying Maggwen is unimportant to you?

Since time eternal gods have done fuck all but meddle in the lives of mortals.

>um.. You know I can hear you, right?

"Well, in that case, twirl around and show me your bum?"

Our methods may seem unconventional, but an unconventional solution is what the Oracle has foretold. The fate of the world may well depend on the wooing of the lady Magwen!

consider committing suicide to rewind time so you can gander gander gander at K-Diddy's tight hard steely bulletproof buns.

Kaktus 2012/08/14(Tue)16:25 No. 443168 ID: b3ca75
File 134498671516.png - (9.12KB , 550x400 , 41.png )

>Are you sure you've never thought about Maggy as more than a friend?
Well… um… yes. But that was a long time ago and it ended vary badly…
>You can trust her, she knows you pretty well, you don't have to worry about messing up a little.
What about messing up completely? I can trust her, yes, but I still have trouble trusting myself from screwing everything up.
>Are you saying Maggwen is unimportant to you?
No, what I’m saying is that you are quite clearly missing a fe- oh gods, I almost insulted a god to his face…
>Since time eternal gods have done fuck all but meddle in the lives of mortals.
True, but usually not like this. They are keener on giving out inspiration and bravery and stuff… or they make you into some mad prophet… wait, I’m not some insane prophet, am I?

Kaktus 2012/08/14(Tue)16:25 No. 443169 ID: b3ca75
File 134498673659.png - (9.18KB , 550x400 , 42.png )

>The fate of the world may well depend on the wooing of the lady Magwen!
Why thank you for not dropping a ton of pressure on me. I mean, the whole world ending because I’m inept with the ladies? Yea, no pressure dude…
>consider committing suicide to rewind time so you can gander gander gander at K-Diddy's tight hard steely bulletproof buns.
I’m going to pretend that only Lizbeth heard that…
>um.. You know I can hear you, right?
Well, in that case, twirl around and show me your bum?
W-W-W-WHAT!?
Thank you, Liz, for completely killing the moment and desecrate it’s corpse…
sorry…
…er… Maggy? Are you alright? Your heart rate is dropping quite rapidly…

Insert a little dance_

...I'm starting to think trying to work out your issues in front of those two clowns was a mistake.

Better get Magwen out of that hot bath and into your warm dry bedroom before she passes out!

>>443169
Dropping is not good. Wait, her eye just rolled back into her head. Something's wrong! Medical attention is necessary!

...she's about to faint. Or die laughing at this mess, I suppose.

do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight (hey! hey!) get down tonight!

Damn Kevros, you're sheer MANLINESS done made her faint.

Or, more likely, the heat of the tub made her faint and your date proposal tipped her over the edge.

In any case, carry her out of the tub in your strong, manly arms and make sure she's okay.

>>443209
I think you mean Graven, right?

...

Right?

>>443168
>What about messing up completely? I can trust her, yes, but I still have trouble trusting myself from screwing everything up.
Lets be honest here - you're both already so screwed up that it's basically impossible to make things any worse.
Maggie isn't a delicate flower that would shatter at your touch; she's been through a lot, and I've little doubt that disabused her of any illusions she had about how a real relationship works.
She fell in love with you as you are. Just treat her right and communicate with each other and things should be just fine.

Also? Lizbeth, Kevros, and we are going to be here to help as needed.

>True, but usually not like this. They are keener on giving out inspiration and bravery and stuff… or they make you into some mad prophet… wait, I’m not some insane prophet, am I?
Naw, sex makes up like 90% of deity/mortal interactions. We kinda threw them all together, so now we're inspiring romantic bravery.

>Why thank you for not dropping a ton of pressure on me. I mean, the whole world ending because I’m inept with the ladies? Yea, no pressure dude…
Pfft, don't worry about that. The fate of the world depends on tons of things. We're not entirely sure what since if we knew what the problem was we'd be fixing it already, but we're pretty sure you couldn't accidentally ruin anything.

Kaktus 2012/08/15(Wed)01:47 No. 443396 ID: b3ca75
File 134502042538.png - (8.98KB , 550x400 , 43.png )

>trying to work out your issues in front of those two clowns was a mistake.
Well, I would call Kevros a clown, Lizbeth on the other hand…
>you couldn't accidentally ruin anything.
Oh, that kind and relief…
>Something's wrong! Medical attention is necessary!
AAAAH!
>she's about to faint.
AAA- wait, that’s actually not too bad…
>carry her out of the tub in your strong, manly arms and make sure she's okay.
Gravens Nonexistent strength is not enough to lift Maggwen!
L-l-let me help you with that…
And you can take my towel to, if you want…

Kaktus 2012/08/15(Wed)01:47 No. 443397 ID: b3ca75
File 134502044187.png - (8.60KB , 550x400 , 44.png )

>it's basically impossible to make things any worse.
Well, I should always tell her it’s my fault that her mother is dead and her life is completely in ruin or that I slept with her mother behind her father’s back… And why am I telling you this?

..ghn…
Are you alright?
Graven? I... I... accept
...
...

Insert oh gods what do I say_

Splendid! You say splendid. Everything worked great! All is well in the world! You didn't fuck it up and now you're set!

Uh, that whole "ruining her life and killing her mother while cheating on her father" was just a hypothetical, right?

>>443397
Wait what. What the hell happened between you and Davros?! I figured your trauma and hers were unrelated. Regardless, it was Davros that went berserk. You can't blame yourself for him killing his entire family. Or at least, that's what Oracle said happened. We actually have no information about what happened in your past specifically except that your blindness was self-inflicted. Would you mind telling us more?

Oh right, and... ask Maggy where she wants to go, and when.

yeeeeeaaaaaawwaitwhat

explain

now

>Well, I should always tell her it’s my fault that her mother is dead and her life is completely in ruin or that I slept with her mother behind her father’s back… And why am I telling you this?
...Graven, we are most displeased to discover this moving from two friends who don't know how to talk to each other to some kind of fucked up Lizard version of Lolita.

But yeah. We're gonna need more information.

>What say
Oh. Thank gods. That means I can stop going insane trying to figure out what to say. Smart move there, passing out. Spared you the trouble.

>>443397
Don't say anything, just hug her.

On a somewhat related note, she currently has an illusion masking her facial scarring. You should help Lizbeth find a way to actually heal her scars.

Also? You're going to tell us what happened between you and her mother later.

Hold her hand and tell her to have a rest; You'll be right here for her. She can figure where the both of you will go when she's feeling better. Earth magic up the floor to make a stool to sit on, if the floor is stone.

In case you didn't know before, Maggy's face is deformed on the right side from an acid attack years ago. Can't see how you didn't know, since you could sense the shape of her form with magic. Anyway, Lizbeth made an illusion cover for it earlier, but it'll have worn off by now, and Maggy might freak a little when she realizes that. Don't be shocked if she does.

Now that that's out of the way, you have some time to tell us what the flying fuck you did! Do you not get that we can not give good advice if you withhold vital information?! We do not know everything! Now sit your tail down, mister, and start recalling the whole sordid tale, from the beginning.

The most helpful informtation would be your age at the time, and whether you initiated it.

Kaktus 2012/08/17(Fri)09:17 No. 444224 ID: b3ca75
File 134522022028.png - (8.60KB , 550x400 , 45.png )

>Regardless, it was Davros that went berserk. You can't blame yourself for him killing his entire family.
Davros? Berserk? …no, I don’t think that would happen. He pretty much worshiped the ground his wife walked on. He did on the other hand go into a deep depression after her death thought.
>Hold her hand and tell her to have a rest; You'll be right here for her. She can figure where the both of you will go when she's feeling better.
…y-yeah, that p-probably for the best…
>In case you didn't know before, Maggy's face is deformed.
Of course I knew that, I was there when it happen!

>she currently has an illusion masking her facial scarring.
Ah, that’s explains the magic on her face. Hmm, that actually a pretty good solution… why haven’t I thought about that? Creating a permanent illusion is a lot simpler then actually healing the scaring itself and would have nearly the same effect.
>You should help Lizbeth find a way to actually heal her scars.
What do you think I’ve been trying to do the last seven years?
>The most helpful information would be your age at the time, and whether you initiated it.
Eighteen and no.

Kaktus 2012/08/17(Fri)09:17 No. 444226 ID: b3ca75
File 134522023453.png - (8.61KB , 550x400 , 46.png )

>tell us what the flying fuck you did!
I-I rather not… but… fine. I was Davros apprentice for a few years when I was younger, he is the world leading scientist of precursor technology after all, and I made a few mistakes that spiraled out of control. I… I was kind of seduced by his wife and slept with her once… a few times… a lot. Of course, the biggest mistake was when I was supposed to keep an experiment stable and… Maggys mother decided to distract me. Then Maggy herself came, I think she suspected that her mother was cheating, and… well… I hid, Maggy and her mother had an argument, the experiment went critical, Maggy was scarred for life and lost a parent, Davros became depressed and pushed Maggy away, she ran away, I ran away, I sacrifice my own eyes in my search for a way to heal her scars, I failed, the end. The worst part is that Maggy still don’t know I was involved at all…

…Graven? A-are you okay? You’ll looking like you’re in pain…
…

Insert all work, no update, makes Kaktus go crazy_

Simplest answer is honesty.

Sorry, Liz's magic voices are harassing me. I think I'm starting to see why her behavior is so... erratic at times, if she has to put up with this constantly.

>Horrible sad things.
I'm sorry, Gravs. All the same, we strongly suspect Davros was still involved- that or the Oracle was bullshitting us.

Is this our first contradiction of the oracle's info? An accidental lab explosion isn't murder, unless we're getting Graven on manslaughter charges. Or it was murder- Davros rigged it to explode? Note that this neither adultery nor murder was mentioned in Graven's criminal record- he didn't have one.

We should tread carefully though- he supposedly has a 50% chance of being murdered. The wrong reveal could get him killed by Maggie, I think.

I think you're underestimating Maggy there. If she suspected her mother was cheating, and followed her to where you were supposed to be working well... the pieces aren't exactly hard to put together. I can't fathom that she would know nothing of the accident that scarred her face and killed her mother, and that you were the one in charge of the experiment is the most basic of facts.

If you had a manly breakdown with the whole "It's my fault your face is scarred, etc. boo hoo I feel guilty" thing, I bet she'd forgive you for it.

The mother issue is more difficult though. Without knowing her perspective on the whole thing, I can't give decent advice.

Kaktus 2012/08/17(Fri)13:10 No. 444254 ID: b3ca75
File 134523421822.png - (8.61KB , 550x400 , 47.png )

>I can't fathom that she would know nothing of the accident that scarred her face and killed her mother, and that you were the one in charge of the experiment is the most basic of facts.
I wasn’t the one in charge, Davros was. And I wasn’t the only apprentice on the project either, I was just the one unlucky too be assigned for the night shift that day. I don’t know if she knows it was me who was there that day or if she believes it was one of the other apprentices.
>less likely to murder him
…s-she would do t-that!?
>assuming this relationship is actually a good idea.
W-weren’t you the one who say I would start it!?
>Simplest answer is honesty.
M-my apologies, but Liz's magic voices are harassing me. I think I'm starting to see why her behavior is so... erratic at times, if she has to put up with this constantly.
w-wait… Are they the ones who are telling you to go out with me!?
err… O-of course not…

Kaktus 2012/08/17(Fri)13:10 No. 444255 ID: b3ca75
File 134523422847.png - (8.71KB , 550x400 , 48.png )

You have lost contact with Graven.

I’m telling you, that duck is pure evil!
how can a rubber ducky be evil?
just look at it! It got red eyes for god’s sake!

Kaktus 2012/08/17(Fri)13:10 No. 444256 ID: b3ca75
File 134523423536.png - (3.67KB , 550x400 , 49.png )

dun…

Kaktus 2012/08/17(Fri)13:10 No. 444257 ID: b3ca75
File 134523424250.png - (3.00KB , 550x400 , 50.png )

…dun…

Kaktus 2012/08/17(Fri)13:10 No. 444258 ID: b3ca75
File 134523425284.png - (2.20KB , 550x400 , 51.png )

DUN!

EVIL!
It’s not even alive…

You are now controlling Kevros.

Insert evil ducks!_

KEEEEEVS! We're back! Love yah, dude.

By the way, gotta tell you, being a Paladin of Batman is like the best idea I ever heard. Go you.

Just cast detect evil on the duck to reassure her. You are a paladin after all. Liz is a little confused on what is and what is not evil anyways. Like kittens.

That is the most evil rubber ducky I have ever seen. How did you even manage to capture such a monster?!

>>444258
the ducky is plainly a spy golem sent from whatever evil it is you are fighting

>Insert evil ducks!_
You heard the... us?

Anyway, insert the duck. I don't care who you chose.

Kev, rubber your ducky. Prove to her that it's not evil.

Kaktus 2012/08/17(Fri)16:34 No. 444305 ID: b3ca75
File 134524649230.png - (8.72KB , 550x400 , 52.png )

>KEEEEEVS! We're back! Love yah, dude.
HGNT- oh, it’s you guys… You scared the crap out of me…
>being a Paladin of Batman is like the best idea I ever heard.
Why thank you, I’m glad to meet another fan of the one of the night.
>Go you.
Go me! :3

>How did you even manage to capture such a monster?!
I bought him down at the general store for 2 gold…
>Kev, rubber your ducky. Prove to her that it's not evil.
…That just sounds wrong…
>the ducky is plainly a spy golem sent from whatever evil it is you are fighting.
>seal that duck into a hard iron box and ship it to the nearest church for an emergency exorcism session.
…okay, that just silly. I mean, look at it! It’s a rubber duck!
I WILL CONSUME YOUR SOUL, MORTAL!
See! It’s not some evil being, it just hungry!

Kaktus 2012/08/17(Fri)16:35 No. 444306 ID: b3ca75
File 134524650765.png - (8.78KB , 550x400 , 53.png )

>Liz is a little confused on what is and what is not evil anyways. Like kittens.
She believes kittens are good? They are clearly evil incarnated! Even a toddler can see that!
>Detect evil
How would that even work? I mean, who defines what evil I would detect? Evil is after all an undefined aspect that change from both time and location. Besides, can someone truly be evil? Except kittens, of course.

>Anyway, insert the duck. I don't care who you chose.
UNHAND ME, MORTAL!
You heard the voices, bend over!
HGNT- WHAT!? NO! Please! Have mercy!
...hngt...

>Paladin who understands moral relativism.
Kev. Seriously. Love you.

>HGNT- WHAT!? NO! Please! Have mercy!
It's begging and desperate. Obviously this is now a prime chance to interrogate it for information. You'll spare it if it tells you everything.

Well, kittens do have a tendency to attack everything that moves funny without mercy...

Anyway Liz don't actually do that. It's not the right shape. This isn't really the time anyway. Stuff it in his face if you really must insert it somewhere.

Kevros WHY IS THE DUCK TALKING, is it an imaginary friend? Speaking of you, we've been getting really nosy about Gavros's past. How comfortable would you be about discussing yours? We've been told some things by Oracle but it's probably best that we confirmed the facts. We already know by now that she lied about Davros.

Stop threatening to insert the duck. (Never thought I'd say that... again.) It'll do more harm to either of you than anything else.

Hey, Kev, did you learn anything in you paladin order about detecting and expelling spirits that have possessed things? 'Cause this would be the time to at least do the detecting part.

>bought him down at the general store for 2 gold
That wouldn't happen to be a general store that wasn't there the day before, and not there the day after, but when it was there, it was always there? 'Cause if it's one of those, then this rubber duck could be anything from a shapeshifter to a malevolent construct to a pervert spirit that possessed it to watch naked bathers.

Duck? What duck? There obviously never has been or will be a duck. Just two lizards in a tub.

Kaktus 2012/08/18(Sat)11:02 No. 444601 ID: b3ca75
File 134531297809.png - (8.78KB , 550x400 , 54.png )

>How comfortable would you be about discussing yours?
…I did kind of promise to tell Liz about my past, didn’t I? I guess I’ll have to honor that promise, no?
>We've been told some things by Oracle but it's probably best that we confirmed the facts.
Wait, what? …er… W-what did it t-tell you, e-exactly?
>a general store that wasn't there the day before, and not there the day after, but when it was there, it was always there?
Don’t be silly, the general store has never been there…wait… oh…

>Obviously this is now a prime chance to interrogate it for information.
Tell us everything, or I’ll start shoving!
T-tell you what? I d-don’t know anything!
well, for starters, what are you!?
I-I’m just a familiar your friend bought! I w-was just ironically programmed t-to sound evil! I’m sorry! Please don’t shove me!
>Liz, don't actually do that. It's not the right shape.
fine…
FREEDOOOOME!
phew… close call.
Amen to that, Mortal!

Kaktus 2012/08/18(Sat)11:03 No. 444602 ID: b3ca75
File 134531300195.png - (8.72KB , 550x400 , 55.png )

dude: Warning! Your bath time is over! Please evacuate the bath in less than five minutes or become lizard soup! Have a nice day!

er... ladies first?
You know… I’ve still haven’t seen your tight hard steely bulletproof buns.
HIS BUM IS RADIATING PURE EVIL, MORTAL!
…um…

Insert Outsmarting bollet_

Try... leading Kevros away from the exit with your own sexy bum, then turning around abruptly and announcing "Oh, the exit's over there."

Surprise him.

>>444602
How about an equal exchange of bum-viewing?

Kevros, um... well... Our source has lied to us about part of Gavros's past. I don't want to upset you by claiming something happened that you believe did not. So... did you really kill your brother? And what happened to your parents?

>Our source has lied to us about part of Gavros's past
This is unconfirmed. It could go either way, really. The oracle left out a lot of details, and Graven's perception of the events may be flawed. We need more details to be sure.

In any event, let's not confuse the non-Liz characters with speculation.

>>444630
Wives (total x74) - Decease (Murder)
Oracle told us that he murdered ALL his wives. That is obviously a lie. The experiment caused the last one's death, at the very least. I suppose it's possible that Davros activated something from a distance to sabotage it in an attempt to kill both his wife and daughter like the rest, but it's more likely that Gavros knows what happened. He was there. Besides, if Davros wanted Maggy dead it wouldn't have been difficult to kill her right after the accident.

Kaktus 2012/08/18(Sat)12:52 No. 444651 ID: b3ca75
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>Spoilered text
The discussion thread needs more love, please post there instead.
>Surprise him.
> Try... leading Kevros away from the exit with your own sexy bum.
A perfect plan!
…I can still hear the voices, you know…
How about an equal exchange of bum-viewing?
…You know what, I don’t care anymore. Feel free to take a peek while I’m heading to the dressing room…
Yay!

Kaktus 2012/08/18(Sat)12:52 No. 444652 ID: b3ca75
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Geez, sometimes I think there is only one thing on her brain…

> So... did you really kill your brother?
......yes.
>And what happened to your parents?
They… didn’t agree with one of my life choices and… left me…

Insert some-
Wait, how much can you guys see anyway. I’m not going to get dressed with a dozen… things watching me!

We can't see with a great deal of resolution. It's like there's a pixel blur over everything, so no worries.

We get static images, I'm fairly certain the next time we see you, we will see you dresed. And if not... well I'm certain we can go watch Liz instead and she won't mind.

We can tell you've got really nice pectoral muscles, but we can't see anything any smaller than those.

Standing behind the table would probably work.

Could we get the whole story? I undertsand if its too painful however.

We've basically been matchmaking all this time with absolutely no idea what any of you look like.

That just about matches with what we've been told. The circumstances don't matter too much now, but eh... someone else attempted to show us your past directly in order to demonstrate that you shouldn't believe in things without proof.

But enough of that topic. READ NOTE.

Our viewpoint is angled so that if you would turn right your back would be to us. Also we don't always see details, and often our sense of time will be interrupted so that we miss seeing certain events, like people taking off their towels and getting into the spa. We never got to see anyone's bum! I predict if you were to get dressed we'd get a visual of just before you took off the towel and then just after you put on your underwear. Or pants.

As far as Liz is concerned, I predict that she will calm down a LOT once she gets some experience. Her body may be over 4000 years old but her time being sentient is much shorter.

> Geez, sometimes I think there is only one thing on her brain…
Oh, please! You totally want something something with your bum!

> I’m not going to get dressed with a dozen… things watching me!
FOOL! YOU MAY TRY TO BLOCK OUR SOON TO BE 2.5D VIEW OR EVEN TRY TO DIVERT OUR ATTENTION, BUT YOU CAN NOT RUN OR HIDE FROM OUR IMAGINATION!

Kaktus 2012/08/18(Sat)13:59 No. 444710 ID: b3ca75
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>We get static images, I'm fairly certain the next time we see you, we will see you dressed.
>We can't see with a great deal of resolution. It's like there's a pixel blur over everything, so no worries.
Oh, that’s kind good news, then.
>Our viewpoint is angled so that if you would turn right your back would be to us.
Turning right it is!

>READ NOTE.
Hmm, it’s from Graven. It says that if Lizbeth wants her system upgraded she should meet him in his room in 15 minutes.
>Oh, please! You totally want something something with your bum!
…um.. mab- I mean, that’s kind of private…
>YOU CAN NOT RUN OR HIDE FROM OUR IMAGINATION!
I can live with that…

Kaktus 2012/08/18(Sat)14:00 No. 444711 ID: b3ca75
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>Could we get the whole story? I understand if it’s too painful however.
Well…err… M-my mother committed s-suicide when I was ten for something I did and my father shouldn’t live without my m-mother. My brother blamed me for their deaths and made my life a living hell u-until… an accident happen when I was thirteen. And then It’s mostly living a monastery
for the rest of my life...

>She will calm down a LOT once she gets some experience. Her body may be over 4000 years old but her time being sentient is much shorter.
Wait, she doesn’t have any experience!? But the goblins didn’t make her into a sacrifice, remember!? On the other hand, that is good news, in a way.

Women’s underwear equipped!
Steel Plate Mail Equipped!
you are wearing a what?
huh?

Insert it makes me feel like a delicate flower_

...Kev, did you put on Liz's clothes without paying attention?

>Experience
Maybe she has it but just doesn't remember. Crazy magic past, precursor robot stuff, amnesia, remember?

Who needs experience, when she has us! Also oh god did she see

>>444711
Kev, we get messages when people equip things in our presence. We know what you're wearing. Not like there's anything wrong with that. Snrk.

Also yes technically she isn't a virgin. She was an anatomically-correct nonsentient construct for a very very very long time, so one would expect something like that to happen. Doesn't matter really, she has no memories from back then. It's a little gross to think about actually!

> You are wearing a what?
Panties, they're comfy. In fact, we never receive such message from you. Are you freeballing, Lizabeth?

> And then It’s mostly living a monastery for the rest of my life...
So, how was life with a bunch of monks with repressed sexuality?

Kaktus 2012/08/18(Sat)15:36 No. 444801 ID: b3ca75
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>oh god did she see.
I-I don’t think so. She came in after I was fully dressed… unless she was peeping, but I trust her not to do that.
>Maybe she has it but just doesn't remember. It's a little gross to think about actually!
That… that’s kinda gross, yeah, but that would mean she technically still a… err… that is surprisingly reassuring thought for some reason…
>Are you freeballing, Lizabeth?
Of course not, I’ve never put them on in your presence, that’s all.

>So, how was life with a bunch of monks with repressed sexuality?
…I have to go with scaring. It even got so bad that Lizbeth pretty much was the first Lizard folk lady I’ve seen since I was thirteen…
What? Really? That’s kind of sad, isn’t it?
Oh, gods, she can hear everything I said to you…

>...Kev, did you put on Liz's clothes without paying attention?
What? No? Her stuff is still hanging on the wall. I mean, why would you even ask th-
>Kev, we get messages when people equip things in our presence. We know what you're wearing. Not like there's anything wrong with that. Snrk.
...
…
...please don’t hate me...
err... Why would I?

Insert meh_

Why would anyone hate you for wearing ladies undergarments. Plenty of people do it. Some of them other men.

>please don’t hate me
Eh, don't sweat it Kev. We're cool. We just like teasing. Ahem. And on that note...

[singing]
He's a paladin, and he's okay!
He sleeps all night and he works all day!

He cuts down bees. He skips and jumps.
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing,
And hang around in spas!
[/singing]

Also, I'm pretty sure Liz wouldn't be fazed at all. She'd probably be into it.

Admittedly I think Liz is into LOTS of things... have we ever mentioned her desire for a harem? If your not into that sorta thing I think she loves you enough for that to be a fantasy rather then a goal though.

> It even got so bad that Lizbeth pretty much was the first Lizard folk lady I’ve seen since I was thirteen…
Didn't knew Batman was a misogynist.

> That’s kind of sad, isn’t it?
Nope. I mean, what's the diference between man and woman if not a single sex change potion?

> ...please don’t hate me...
I'm falling even more for you, actually.

> virginity shenanigans
Who cares? Or are you a virgin insecure about everything related to sex and sexuality, Kevros?

Anyway, Lizabeth should go see Graven.

>>444801
Hugs are necessary here.

Kev, no running away. It's cute and maybe a little funny (okay it's hilarious) but there's nothing to hate you for. I don't think it's possible for Liz to hate you at this point, regardless.

Besides, she(and we) like, threatened to turn you into a girl several times now. Then you'd be wearing appropriate underwear!

You know what, I'm going to stick my neck out and say that you are awesome. A paladin who isn't Lawful Stupid, is actually good at his job, and is a big softie at heart? You're awesome and I respect you greatly. Even if you wear panties.

Come on, you guys already slept together. Neither of you are virgins now. No need to get all worried over nothing.

Hate you for a minor oddity? We like weird stuff.

>>444823
> Even if you wear panties.
What's the problem with panties? More than half of the wonderful people I know use panties. Besides, they really are more comfy than most male underwear.

Lizbeth also wears panties. Hating someone for wearing panties would be hypocritical. Logic.

Kaktus 2012/08/18(Sat)16:26 No. 444854 ID: b3ca75
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>Why would anyone hate you for wearing ladies undergarments.
She told me I was disgusting… she told me I was a disease, corrupted, a sin she must be punished for bringing forth…
um…
Brave’n’Bold 2:8... And thus the dark knight spoke, ”The Knight does not eat Nachos!”
I-I think we are losing him, guys…
Rubberduckyyourtheonemakingbathtimelotsoffun

Kevros -4 happiness
Kevros -2 sanity