Story Teller 2012/07/30(Mon)23:27 No. 437696 ID: f09b71
File 134371606317.png - (136.30KB , 700x700 , 2-2.png )

But it appears as though she has come to me this morning, in what was once a lonesome bed. They say this Lich rarely leaves her halls, but I am steadily beginning to see this rumor as far from the truth!

>"Rise and shine."

Rise and shine.

"Good morning, m'lady!"

Oh, hey, morning. Just thinking of you, actually.

Sup girl. How you doing?

>>437699
This.

Story Teller 2012/07/30(Mon)23:53 No. 437706 ID: f09b71
File 134371758641.png - (97.97KB , 700x700 , 2-3.png )

"Good morning m'lady. I was just thinking of you! How do you fare, this morning?"
>"Morning. I was thinking of you, too. You see, the recently arrived drow have asked me for one of my mortal slaves, preferably the most hideous, ill mannered lesser race that I had. They want a challenge to turn a gruesome beast into a well mannered, hygienic, cultured individual. Normally I do not care for the drow. Normally I would not care to hand you over. But these drow are odd. Not very drow-like. They are different in many ways, and you will investigate them for me, and tell me of them. You will be a slave, but if you manage to escape and come back to me with sufficient details, you will get much of the gold they are giving me, for you. They have no reason to lie to me about their intentions, and so the only poor treatment you will receive is from doing things like yawning without covering your mouth. Are you following me so far?"

Ask what sort of details she's interested in. Information on what normal Drow are like would also help us spot the differences.

>Are you following me so far?
You're selling me into slavery, so I can spy for you, got it.

An indication of how long she'd like us to remain undercover would be useful.

Clap your hand over your mouth to cover the yawn. "Yes, clearly, mistress."

>>437707
Yeah, definitely get the rundown on how normal drow behave, and how these newcomers have been observed to deviate from the norm so far. Ask if they've solicited any other groups for slaves along similar terms.

Also ask how they mark their slaves. You'll want to know if you'll have to get a branding mark or tattoo removed afterwards.

I suppose she already has ways to check if they simply use a mind control spell or replace you with a doppleganger?

>>437711
> Clap your hand over your mouth to cover the yawn. "Yes, clearly, mistress."

None of that! Confidence in the face of power is part of our shtick.

Story Teller 2012/07/31(Tue)00:21 No. 437717 ID: f09b71
File 134371929437.png - (111.68KB , 700x700 , 2-4.png )

"Consider my mouth covered! From what I gather, you're selling me into slavery so I can spy for you! But how long would you expect me to be gone?"
>"No more than a week. I expect you simply to be able to tell me what makes them tick, I am not asking for each of their life stories, but their origins and own stories they pass down may be of interest."
"And how do normal drow tick, so I may compare?"
>"Normal drow are usually patriarchal, but occasionally matriarchal. These are matriarchal, but that is only because they are all female drow. Not a male in sight. I have only seen that once, in an ancient high elf civilization. Secondly, the drow may not roll in the mud as a pig would, but these ones appear absolutely obsessive over cleanliness and the like."
"And, do they mark their slaves with... something?"
>"I do not know. If it bothers you, then I will be able to remove any imperfections, tattoos on your return."
"That may be an offer I will take! And I suppose you will be able to tell if they send a doppelganger or something of the like in my place?"
>"Please tone your imagination back. I do not believe them to be particularly legendary in that regard."
"Alright! Sooooo.... there was something you said, about, uh, 'all female'?"
>"That is a problem, is it not? From my previous test, it would show itself to be your main weakness. Put your hand back down, that is for a yawn! And put your pants on, boy!"


I admit, I have focused my knowledge on learning common, but what manners are proper and not have always eluded me! Parts of me she has become familiar with suddenly appear to offend, and I can only be confused!

>Put your pants on!
What, you plan on selling clothed slaves?

>>437719

This is the best joke.

Say it while slipping some pants on.

"Well yeah, that's fine and dandy, but make sure you have a written contract with them. To establish that you are not responsible for my escape in any way and they will not be refunded. I would also appreciate it if you added in anti-abuse clauses, I mean, I can handle a little whipping if you know what I'm saying, but a little humanitarianism is respected amongst many cultures, especially the culture of the Bard-without-stories clan, and in some business circles."
aaaaand for good measure
"I also promise to keep my flirting as well as the contents of my pants to myself or an unrelated party unless one of my new masters demand me to perform for their own pleasure or simply desire to teach me 'civilized' flirting and lovemaking. I suspect if they want to teach me that though, it will be with another experiment."

>>437717
Chalk it up to her being on a business visit and not in the mood for that kind of thing right now.

>>437719
Well, the drow did ask for the most ill mannered member of a lesser race as a challenge, so one that wears nary a scrap of clothes would fit the bill. Still, put on some pants while saying your piece.

Story Seeker 2012/07/31(Tue)01:21 No. 437734 ID: f09b71
File 134372288926.png - (142.47KB , 700x700 , 2-5.png )

"You plan on selling clothed slaves?"
>"I do hope the drow appreciates your sense of humor as much as me."
"Well, in all seriousness, I do hope that there is some written contract! Perhaps to say that you are not responsible for my escape, and perhaps for my sake, some anti abuse clause! I might be able to handle a little whipping, but I should hope not to be put under great physical turmoil!"
>"Did I not say that they would treat you fine, except if you miss your manners? This is why I am telling you to put on your pants and cover your mouth, so you might get a shred of practice and save yourself a slap or two. I should hope you are not under the impression that I, a lich who regularly handles cadavers and meddles in the dark arts, would care if you ran around bare-assed any more than any of the other ill tempered kobolds around here. You wish to be able to be a bard, telling tales in royal courts and nobility? You will have to learn more than just proper enunciation. I have seen your habits. Excellent for a kobold. Offensive for a peasant. You are getting more out of this than gold."
"Ah... I believe I see your point! Well, I do promise to keep the flirting and the contents of my pants to myself!"
>"Yes, you will, because this is also an ideal opportunity to work on your weakness. I am going to cast a disease on your loins."
"E...erh? I hope that this is... what does it do?"
>"Nothing. Absolutely nothing, it is harmless."
"Oh. And... how, or what, should I do to go about removing it?"
>"It is cured by having a romp in bed. You will simply have to lay with another woman. Or man. If you return to me, and it is cured, you will not receive any gold."

Whaaaaaaaaaaat! This is outrageous! What if the etiquette classes include bedroom manners!

>>437734
So, animals are okay then.

>>437734
Filthy lucre or hot drow pussy.

FUCK, these decisions.

>>437734
Well that's gonna suck if their training purposefully includes sex. Aside from that this sounds like a good job.

Accept this turn of events. Go ahead with the plan, with the intent of making money, and learning manners.

>>437734
"Well, what if I'm raped between now and then? And what about cunnilingus if I may be so vulgar?"

>Being sold to all female slavemasters slave-mistresses
>No funtimes conduct
Aw! That's pretty unbardlike. And unslavelike.

Well, you'll try, but you know, as a slave, there's a good chance you won't have a say in the matter. Makes it more a challenge of cleverness than libido, really.

>>437734

Generally sex and intimacy is a great way to extract information....

...if you're taking that weapon out of our hands it would cripple our spying purpose.

>>437739
Also, here is my reasoning. If Yapper has a romp with some drow, then he'll be back where he was. Maybe a little more polite. More so, he will have proven to the lich that he can't be trusted to handle himself around women. That even with the promise of being paid, he can't help himself.

But if he come back with the disease and makes money, he will be further on the road to becoming a proper bard, who travels around and can sleep with women everywhere. A true bard should be able to handle the ladies, and this includes knowing when it's best not to just blindly sleep with them.

>>437744
Good point. Even if we have to resort to hijinks to avoid orders from the mistresses.

Alright, you're ready for your mistress to cast her sexy-fun-times detector spell on your nether regions. It'll be a challenge, like learning to swim by being thrown in the deep end, but you've never shied from such actions before, so bring it on.

>>437744
These are drow we're talking about
they have sex all the goddamn time
it's hard to turn them down too (you do it in Balders Gate, an entire town will go apeshit on you if you do it badly. Granted, we've never met any Lagodrows yet, just his version of Light Elves, but previous entities from other worlds is all we got for a basis right now)

remember my question about getting raped while we were gone? That was a real concern and not a joke. Drow are like gnolls if they fought little less, have less fur and had standard 5 toed feet with pointy ears and dark skin, and are generally more polite in their evil. Gnolls rape a lot man! So drow must too!

Further motivation: When you come back and still have the disease, Zirkala will probably cure it herself. If you know what I mean.

>>437694
It's Your gold and if you want to give it up for some sexing that's your business and you should say so. Also a disease that goes away when you have sex? I find that hard to believe.

Eh, if he gets raped by one of them, the lich can just review the memory of the event and determine it to have not been his fault. Get her to agree to that as an exception though.

Oh wait! We nearly forgot the most important question.

How much does it turn out I'm worth to you, then?

>>437734
Jeez Yapper maybe you can keep em on this one time? They're trying to <i>My Fair Kobold</i> you, not turn you into a loveslave. You're best off not giving them ideas there!

>>437759
Sounds unlikely, but probably a good idea just in case. No point taunting Murphy.
>>437764
This.

>>437771
He can always explain to the Drow that he suffers a horrific Venereal Disease. That should put em off, and score bonus points in the "Horrible, Unhygienic Slave" department.

>>437775
yes do this it is a good idea

Well it sounds interesting. It might be better to stay flexible as you have no way of telling what will actually happen. One interesting question would be if you should intentionally have bad manners to start off or if you should be on your very best behaviour from day one. It may be that these Drow enjoy the challenge more than the outcome and would be more pleased at making seemingly rapid progress.

Will you get any hidden tricks or proverbial aces to keep up your sleeves? Perhaps Miss Lich could send some skeletal rat or tiny minion able to bring back a short message.

>>437734
"My dear, you are assuming that the Drow will not try to have sex with *me*. As a slave, refusing to do their bidding would not do well for me!

I mean, you'll probably just read my memory to figure out what the Drow are doing anyways - it certainly seems like a better may to figure things out than having me attempt to report them. If I happen to have improper sexual conduct, you could easily find out when you review my memories.

Of course, if your goal is for me to have ABSOLUTELY NO SEX AT ALL under any circumstance while on this visit, even under the threat of violence, and even when commanded to do so by my new masters, I will do my best to do so. But I caution you that the information you seek on the Drow may come most easily when plied from a willing lady."

Mind reading? Pff. That really defeats the purpose of being a bard. We're here to tell stories, not offer up downloads.

Story Seeker 2012/07/31(Tue)10:45 No. 437804 ID: f09b71
File 134375670224.png - (66.28KB , 700x700 , 2-6.png )

"Wait one moment, if you please! What if they want to have sex with me? They might even force me! They might want to teach my bedside manners! Can't you review my memory in case I wake up with handcuffs to the bed or something?"
>"You'd wish for that, wouldn't you. Listen up. Drow are not right. Laying with one is entering a world you don't want to go in. If you must, consider it a lesson in defending yourself with tact."
"Ah, but you are aware that retreiving valuable information may be best attained from certain bed manners?"
>"I am asking for public information, not blackmail material. I have seen legions of men fall because of the political ramifications of sticking dick where it does not belong, when nothing but "harmless fun" was intended."
"Well... how much was I worth, anyway?"
>"Five thousand gold pieces."
"Oh. I must say I am flattered, despite the position!"
>"They do like their status symbols, and slaves are good ones. "
"Then shall I start with intentionally bad manners, or be on my best behavior from day one?"
>"I do not expect them to be able to tell the difference. Now, are you ready? I expect they are already waiting with hankerchiefs in hand. I do not even know if you know what a hankerchief is."

Of course mistress, one sullen, uncultered kobold slave is ready to be sold. I wonder if feigning ignorance to common would be too much?

Extend wrists as if awaiting shackles.

Take me away!

It would be nice, perhaps, if the kobold village saw you being led away and sold into slavery. It might make them more inclined to believe you when you return. It's not so early your departure will go unnoticed, is it?

>>437804
posit that a hankerchief is clearly a chief of hankering. Marvel that drow have so much desires that they need someone to manage them.

>>437804
All right, just showing concern.
Does she have any extra information on general drow in comparison to their Light Elf counterparts before we go? Like their opinion on trees and the forest? Do they get along on anything particularly?

>>437815
I think the less we know about their culture the better we'll fit in as a slave.

>>437804
If we know the word for handkerchief in common then we know what it is.

Well all in all it's quite flattering that she's trying to restrict you from amorous bedtime shenanigans. Perhaps you exude an aura of powerful animalistic magnetism. So much that she fears you may be able to turn the tables and seduce your Drow masters?

The fact remains that you are willingly being sold into slavery. Say that it is an exciting proposal, but do ask (with a smirk) what she would have done if you said 'no' to this idea... There is also the chance that the Drow may be mightly upset at your escape, but if any ownership marks can be erased then they might not be good at telling kobolds apart.

>what she would have done if you said 'no' to you are willingly being sold into slavery
I'm pretty sure then she would have just unwillingly sold you into slavery. Funny how slavery works like that.

>>437717

Might I suggest we either disguise him or polymorph our dear bold as a female?

It seems... unsettling to think this all female band of drow would specifically call upon a male slave.

>>437829
If we went there as a girl, we'd learn the wrong etiquette lessons.

>>437804
Don't forget the Queen Drake. It would probably be best if she knew.

You're fully ready to be hexed, clapped in irons, and sold into slavery... Man, your life has gotten weird.

If it comes to deflecting getting laid, perhaps spin a tale of how you've been cursed in that department; That all your partners suffer horrible itching in their groins for days afterwards. If the drow have those of magical inclination, they might be able to see the aura from the illness the lich put on your junk to confirm it.

>>437806
Do confirm whether the lich told the drow that you know the common language as a selling point for you. That could be very useful for eavesdropping if they think you don't know it.

1/2 Story Seeker 2012/07/31(Tue)17:51 No. 437916 ID: f09b71
File 134378229880.png - (187.72KB , 700x700 , 2-7.png )

"I don't suppose the other kobolds could know that I will be sold off into slavery?"
>"Are you joking? Your home will be put into a ruckus if they see me wandering through taking kobolds like some goblins."
"And lastly, do they know I know common?"
>"Yes, as they did not want to have such a language barrier in their way."
"And lastly! It seems odd to me that this all female band would call upon a male slave!"
>"They didn't call on any gender. Male was simply acceptable."
"In that case, I am ready!"

I am hardly ready, as I no longer can say that I have avoided slavery! It is merely the prospect that this is hardly slavery that comforts me.

>"Then we will teleport. Also, here is your loin hex."

>"And here we are." the Lich says, with no warning. I did not feel much for the spell, but it makes itself known! It is like a constrictive feeling. Not even uncomfortable, but enough to make itself known! Regardless, I see the drow right in front of me.

>"Ah, this must be your slave, yes?" the dark elf, the kind I have never seen before, answers.
>"Yeah. You have the gold?"
>"Of course, it is all yours! And this... thing you have brought us, he is well tamed, yes? He does not bite?"
>"Not if he wants to live."
>"Haha, I will take that to be a comforting answer!"

I must say, I have a sudden newfound pity for the shame legitimate slaves must go through. Nevertheless, I was hoping they would be..... uglier.

2/2 Story Seeker 2012/07/31(Tue)17:52 No. 437917 ID: f09b71
File 134378232504.png - (82.95KB , 700x700 , 2-8.png )

And without any indication of the existence of my personal space, one of them simply starts feeling me! And not in the sensual manner, unfor.. well, perhaps fortunately!

>"Ah! How rough!"

How... I have taken pride in my skin, but even I admit that my scales are flaked boulders if I must compare it to this girl! I did not think that hands ever had any business being this smooth! I could likely write a novel on the matter!"

>"What is your name, kobold? Tell us a little about yourself. You have permission to speak, and do speak your best in common, as we do not enjoy your native language."

Hmmm, your new name, or your kobold name.... I think you should go with Yapper for these ones. The more they think you lesser then them the less chance they will try to sex you. Which is apparently needed if you are enamored by the feel of their skin already.

>>437917
Elves are generally considered to be an attractive race among humanoids.

Tell them you would like to be known as Story Seeker, even though all the other kobolds call you Yapper. You have aspirations of becoming a bard, but right now you're stuck under the Lich's thumb.

>>437917
A wandering minstrel I, a thing of-

No no, just say that before you were enslaved, you spent your time going on adventures and finding stories. This statement is 100% factual.

Well... let's play the slave. We don't want to come off as overly brash and headstrong and needing to be broken in.

I have no name, I am simply Slave, unless you wish to call me something else, mistresses. I have no special education or training, and have largely served my mistress running errands.

"I was a fisherbold when I was young, but I yearned for greater things. I left my camp in search of great stories and legends, and promptly fell into the service of my master. Or my former master rather. Enslaved though I be, I hope to find stories wherever I might be sold."

>>437917
"I speak common better than I speak our native language... I think. There's quite a bit of languages floating around down here, so there's no real native language. Everything's very multicultural, if a bit brutal. May I have permission for a little personal space, if it's no disrespect ma'am?"

>>437930
Slaves don't get personal space.
>>437924
That's laying it on a bit thick.
>>437923
Sounds good.

>>437931
Probably because they never ask nicely for it.

>>437917

Yeah, I'm with >>437923 on this. You got bored of fishing in your village, wandered out for an adventure , and ended up in the service of a lich.

100% truth may be our best approach.

Say that among your kin you were called Yapper, simply because you talk too much by their low standards. You learned to speak Common out of the same sentiment as your new mistress; The mangled draconic your kin use is both harsh to the ear, and lacking in depth and subtlety.

Continue on using >>437923.

Story Seeker 2012/08/01(Wed)11:48 No. 438095 ID: f09b71
File 134384689801.png - (78.33KB , 700x622 , 2-9.png )

My name is Yapper, called that by the other kobolds that say I speak far too much! I wander the world seeking adventure, and have recently ended up in the service of the lich, leading to my stance before you!

>Mistress
I may have found myself as somewhat of a plaything of Zirkala, but with the nuances of our relationship, I cannot bring myself to ever call her as such!

>"Oh! Rather lively, for a slave." one dark elf says.
>"Yes." The Lich begins to reply. "You all did ask for one of my live ones, after all."
>"Well, we shall have to keep a close eye on this one! Now, young kobold. Would you like a coin purse of gold, so that you may buy yourself material goods while inside of our town walls, and perhaps get out of those... rags?"

>>438095
"If that is your will."

"New clothes? Awesome! We have jack down there. I don't have an eye for fashion though, so I won't exactly know what would go good with my figure or color. Honestly, from my perspective, anything would be better.

Any kobold with strong skills in weaving and fashion usually ends up having to work for one of the other races near my home. So it's not that we're all dumb at stuff, it's just all the really good kobolds are taken away. So, we don't really get to practice stuff like that, we're forced into only doing what's practical, not fun or nice looking like fashionable clothes."

>>438095
"I would certainly like a purse."

Right now I think they are just feeling us out so it would be best to act normally and start being submissive when they ask it.

They think they have to ask their slave what he wants, how cute. This is gonna be an easier stint than I expected.

"If you wish to be so kind, certainly!"

>>438096

"Sure. Anything in particular you want me to get? How many pairs of clothes do I need?"

Also ask if you can know their names or how they'd like you to address them. You don't know that yet!

This feels like it might be some sort of trap or test. Just flow with it and stay prepared.

>>438096
This, but with the addendum that you would need help choosing an outfit, as you obviously don't know what is appropriate wear for one in your position. Actually, you don't know anything of the duties and demands your new station will call for. Perhaps the lady would enlighten this humble kobold in that regard?

Story Seeker 2012/08/01(Wed)14:11 No. 438140 ID: f09b71
File 134385547916.png - (124.17KB , 700x700 , 2-10.png )

"If that is your will, then sure! Is there any kin --"

SLAP

>"No! If you are to be in our presence, you must act the gentlemen. And gentlemen are well off in their lives, and do not need additional gold and such luxuries, even should they be down on their luck!"

That was not fair at all, they tricked me right into that! To be fair, however, it was no vicious slap, merely a superficial sting.

>"Now, try your answer once more!"

>>438140
"No, ma'am I'm fine thank you... may I still get fashion tips though? I'm really curious what looks good."

bitch lvl 3000%

How are we supposed to be a gentleman and a slave at the same time? That's sort of a contradiction. Odd drow indeed.

"Uh, no ma'am, I could not bring myself to accept your charity, even in my current state."

>>438148
they just want to see how long it takes before we crack under the pressure.

>>438140
Hmm... look her in the eyes, smile and make a gesture of respect to her.

"My lady, I have no need of any charity. If you wish for me to replace these rags with finery, then I will find a way to do so. Of course, if you decide on a more expeditious means or arrangement then I will abide by that."

>>438140

You know... we COULD very well work against this. It might not end well, but it could make for a fun ride.

Well this is confusing, but it does make sense. You'd only find more of these "rags" in a kobold village... and a gobbo village. And a lizardman village.

... Man, Yap. You don't really have the best resources to work with, do you.

Just treat it as a game you're playing and try to anticipate their requirements. There might be another slap coming up so get ready to take it gracefully like a gentleman.

"No I'm fine, thanks. However I don't know either of your names or titles..."

>>438148
If these are at all like D&D drow, "gentleman" and "slave" are the same thing.

Politely ask her where you are meant to find better clothing, since your native clothing is about as pleasing as your native tongue.

"No, I don't need any gold. I shall steal some new clothes in the town." OBVIOUSLY THIS IS THE CORRECT ANSWER.

"Prithee, madam, I thank you for the kind and generous offer, but I have no need for any such fiscal assistance in this matter, thanks to my massives stacks of dosh. However, I would be eternally greatful were thee to assist mine self within the area of proper fashion, as mine sorry home region is far from sufficiently stocked in the way of boutiques from whence the pinnacle of fashion may be acquired."

1/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/01(Wed)17:04 No. 438206 ID: f09b71
File 134386587035.png - (66.59KB , 700x700 , 2-11.png )

>Give a smile and continue
After all, frowning and getting uppity will not help, even if I am greatly confused by these drow! Although the aftersting may be making my fine smile a tad lopsided.

"No ma'am, thank you, but I do not need acts of charity to assist in my already formidable stacks of dosh! However, I would be most gracious if you would share some tips on replacing rags with --"

2/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/01(Wed)17:04 No. 438207 ID: f09b71
File 134386588099.png - (114.05KB , 700x700 , 2-12.png )

SLAP

>"Better, but you lost it. Gentlemen do not need assistance with such things. They are able to acquire clothes, excellent ones, by their own ability."

I am at a loss to whether or not I am supposed to be a slave or gentlemen, perhaps they are the same thing to these ones!

"Then I will find a way to do so! Also, I do not know your names or titles."

I am tempted to think that stealing new clothes IS the answer!

>"That will do. I am Lady Alia, and she is Lady Rika. Now, you must be hungry. Shall we go to our city, and have a feast?"

Another trick question I take it. Answer you'd love to treat them both to dinner. Though how you will do that with no money, no fine clothes and as a kobold slave I have no idea.

>>438210
This sounds good.

You're gonna get slapped again... Say that surely a gentleman can provide his own meals.

>>438207
>slave or gentleman
I think you're supposed to fit both criteria at the same time. In other words, a perfectly polite and completely submissive subject. An absolutely one sided relationship.

This is another trap, and test. Again, same thing. Victory at contests between deceit and skill is what amounts to virtue and worth for these folk.

I think the best response here is "I shall feast as well as I can provide for myself, of course."

Hmmm, she'll probably slap you if you accept this offer. INSTEAD: "Nay, I shall stay here and fish for my supper."

Resign yourself to getting slapped in the face a lot. Seems to be their principle training method. Oh well, beats whipping or caning, I suppose. Additional bonus: so long as you're not a masochist, you're getting lots of discouragement to ever make a move on them.

...wait, scales bruise? How does that even work?

"As gentleman, I have no place at a feast I did not provide, and as a slave I would not think to impose upon your table."

>>438232
Oh that's better wording, lets go with that.

>>438207
"Whatever you prefer, m'lady. I don't think it's my place to make that choice."

A gentleman would not refuse a lady's invitation. Tell Lady Alia it would be a pleasure to join them for dinner, and brace yourself for the inevitable correction. She has to teach you table manners some time, and you need the chance to observe them. As to how they expect you to obtain proper clothes, a gentleman would never stoop to outright thievery. You can obtain what you can't pay for through guile.

I am so badly tempted to say that no, we shan't.

You shall be the gentleman and PREPARE FOR THEM ONE.

(Of fish. You will catch with your toes. In the local pond-thing.)

Stacks of dosh? Really? Oh man you are so doomed.

>>438207
"My ladies, so long as I am your humble guest, I would be honored to join you for whatever meals you wish to serve."

Also, ask if you're always supposed to play the role of the servant, or the gentleman, or both (depending on whatever the situation calls for).

But you need to be self assured, as a gentleman.

I say we offer to provide them with a delicious meal. Remember, you are a gentleman.

It dawns on me that we will need to obtain wealth to fulfill their idea of proper gentlemanly conduct. Hmm.

Or this could really just be an excuse for some Drow to slap us around. I'm betting there are no right answers and these women are sadists, as Drow are rumored to be.

>Probably no right answers
>Get slapped around for every little failing.

This is probably the best incentive yet to take the lich's advice and never try to bed these ladies. If you suffer this much abuse for minor mistakes in dialog? Just imagine what could happen if (when) you make minor missteps in bed.

I guess a gentleman would never admit hunger and would definitely not want to impose. Turn them down, but if they actually invite you then say yes.

Maybe these drow ladies don't have any men around because none will ever meet their perfect standards?

Offer to escort the ladies back to their city in any case.

Story Seeker 2012/08/02(Thu)15:38 No. 438432 ID: f09b71
File 134394708223.png - (92.69KB , 700x700 , 2-13.png )

>Stacks of dosh
I panicked!

"Thank you, but I have no place at a feast I did not provide! And as a slave, I would not think to impose upon your table. In fact, I would say that I should be the one treating you both to a meal!"

I expect a slap, but they look pleased instead! At the least, this means there are correct answers. And at the worst, this means I will not know when to expect a slap or not!

>"Ah, you can learn! Perhaps this will be easier than previously thought. Normally, we would decline, but for this, we will accept your invitation! Where would you bring us to dine?"

>Expect to get slapped a lot
An expectation that will most likely not be let down!

Oh you poor fool. You just offered them an invitation you can't back up. Except with raw fish. You should have declined without a counteroffer- you just delayed the slap a turn instead of dodging it.

Well... let's try for flowery excuses and open ended promises. Maybe you'll be able to fulfill them. Or you'll push the slap off till later, if/when you fail.

"Where. Hmm. The fare available in the local caves is not fit to present to you. And I have not the means or supplies on my person to prepare or purchase such a meal. I must ask you to trust in my ingenuity to find and and secure appropriate feast elsewhere, though I regretfully cannot predict now where that will be."

RAW FISH AT THE KOBOLD VILLAGE.

Do we have access to rice, and vineger? We could make sushi.

>>438432
Tell them you'll have to look around to see if there's actually a place worthy of them nearby. You'd love to treat them, but you'll have to gain knowledge of a good place to stay and eat first, and ask if they'd like fish? If we find a good tavern anywhere, you'll also have to gather your own funds doing oddjobs around town if they'd prefer something more exotic. Or just sneak back home and get some of your gold and get a small sack for it.

If they want you to gather your own means to get better clothes to please them with your appearance, then your earlier note of having to steal good shit makes sense. Drow probably view thieves as gentlemen if they don't get caught nor speak of their ill-gained products, as that's just polite. It's impolite to get caught, it's a public display of amateur hour thievery and embarrassment, thus anti-gentlemanly. Hell, they probably wouldn't actually mind you stealing from them as long as you don't get caught, as hypocrisy might be the drow way. You're definitely going to have to read some of their own books on drow philosophy of things to get a better understanding, or one from a professional, unbiased sociologist. Also, don't get caught reading their books, saying you should know all of the book already, despite knowing it's impossible. -SLAP

>>438432
At some culturally-relevant place of eating. Somewhere classy. You're not familiar with Drow so you don't know where, but if you were actually a gentleman worthy of their attention, you would.

>>438477
This is a bit metagaming, but it's better than nothing: http://www.eilistraee.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1773

Fish seems good, especially if you can think of some way to make it sound/seem fancy.

Hmm, so we need to figure out some way to turn fish into a pleasant meal with no other food, and no spices.

Venue is an issue. We should be serving this to them in their home (you can come with a line suggesting you are their slave, and thus you should serve them in their home), but there's the issue of... well, getting and cooking food. We can probably help with the preparation, IF you can get ingredients, which... well, you can't. Fish isn't enough.

>>438561
No spices? I'm sure we can find some herbs. Serve tiny portions, scatter small bits of plant on it, and speak French and they'll be totally convinced.

Story Seeker 2012/08/03(Fri)14:27 No. 438931 ID: f09b71
File 134402925263.png - (134.51KB , 800x800 , 2-14.png )

"As your slave, it shall be my honor to serve you in your own homes."
>"Very good! But first, we shall initiate you. Your home is just around the bend."

The lead me less than a minute, to show me... a mud brick shack built into a rockside. I suppose that I could not have expected much more.

>"You have made an excellent start, but before you are allowed into the secret entrance to our town, you will have to earn it. For now, this humble abode will be your new home. What do you think?"

I can practically see them getting their slap gloves ready!

"...does this constitute accepting charity?"

Thank them for their hospitality. Do not say it is a good or bad place to stay, merely be grateful for a place to stay.

"It would be rude of me to decline your generous hospitality. I will endeavor to return it in better condition than I find it, and to earn your trust as well."

>>438936
>>438937
sounds good.

>>438933
hmm, it might. Need to be careful here.
Maybe try something like >>438937 with the stipulation that you don't need accommodations, but that you'll stay there if it's what they wish of you.

say it is obvious the previous tenant did not take care of it.

Story Seeker 2012/08/03(Fri)16:13 No. 438972 ID: f09b71
File 134403559836.png - (167.30KB , 700x700 , 2-15.png )

"It would be rude of me to decline your generous hospitality, even if I am not in dire housing circumstances! I will endeavor to return it in better condition than i find it, as the previous tenant does not appear to have taken care of it! ...does this count as accepting charity?"
>"For this, we will insist you accept."

We share the words as they lead me inside, to which there is already what appears to be a paint bucket.

"I admit, I am surprised at how easy you are catching on. For now, we will have to mark you with a slave's paint ring along your neck, as well as a ring to always tell us where your location is. You are only an hour's travel from your old home, and we will allow you a trip to gather the meal you have offered us. We will hold off on breakfast for four hours. Since our homes are in our city, you will not be allowed, so we will simply dine in here with our thanks to your genuine offer."

A chance! Not a very fine was, as my kobold village has little for food that is not scraps and meager gruel. I may have to steal from the goblins or the common grounds of various trading species after all.

Avoid the goblins. I see awkward meetings in your future if you do that.


They'll probably happen anyway but this way at least you tried.

Okay... so the round trip will take 2 hours, leaving only 2 hours for ingredient gathering and food preparation. Maybe you can swing someone into teleporting you for the trip back, that buys you a travel hour back.

You're going to have to be fast in gathering materials and cooking, especially as you'll likely be making new dishes for the first time.

Get going! We can plan what you're going to buy/steal on the way.

>>438977
Stealin' from the trading races will probably work better

Go acquire fish from yonder fish-pond.

It also might be possible to get the drak- dragon to place a strong illusion on what food you could get, to make it appear, and taste much, much better. Though, considering these drow have hidden their city from the lich, they're likely skilled in the arts of magical illusions, and could see right through it. Still, it's a risk that's worth taking if you run out of time.

use a spell to drain the lake and gather a ton of fish.

>>438984
If you come back with a five star meal they're going to think something is up. And that's if they fall for the illusion, if they don't then they'll wonder who you had cast it.

Give the both of them a deep bow, and bid the fair ladies goodbye. Walk away at a purposeful stride, until you're out of sight, then run, nay sprint, away.

Quickly make a mental list of the settlements down here by the likelihood of them having substantially better fare than your home village. Any of them deal in foods, spices, and herbs imported from the surface, or from far off down here? Something relatively exotic would improve the value of the meal a fair bit.

>>439002
Not suspiciously better, just somewhat better. Possibly not at all better, depending on how well things go. It's just an option in case nothing better then "edible" level can be pulled together in time.

>>438937

>>438984

If they call you on it, just explain it as being part of the presentation and compliment them on the fact that they noticed.

>>438931
Tis a charmingly rustic dwelling, a good, hardy structure perfect for an outdoorsman such as yourself to rest in after a long day of falconry and hounds, and then wake up in before dawn to go out and do it all again after a freezing cold bucket of water to the face.

That's right, you're a game hunter, as ALL true gentlemen are.

>>438972
Um, you should probably warn them ahead of time that you are gonna have to steal stuff to make anything decent. Better to let them down now and get a slap than get in worse trouble.

Also maybe you should ask them if they have any requests!

>>439145
Don't tell them! A gentleman hunter is NOT a gentleman thief. They're completely different.

>>439187
I believe they're exactly the same
it's just very unpolite to mention it
drow culture is obviously full of nuances

>>439187
And even if we do take the path of a more roguish gentleman, a sophisticate host would never reveal his methods, or trouble the minds of his guests with such mundane unpleasantness.

1/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/04(Sat)08:00 No. 439200 ID: f09b71
File 134409242197.png - (70.03KB , 700x700 , 2-16.png )

A flourish and a bow is given to them.

"Farewell Ladies, until we meet at the designated time!"
>"We will have to work on your bows, slave. Consider yourself lucky that my slapping hand is spent. Goodbye."

2/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/04(Sat)08:00 No. 439201 ID: f09b71
File 134409245151.png - (96.80KB , 700x700 , 2-17.png )

Gotta run gotta run! The fish is no problem! There are always fish in the pond, and they will bite! But for better food and spices, I may lean on avoiding the goblins and go for the trading route! The only qualm I have on such a task is that I am far from the first kobold to have the idea of stealing. In fact, it is so bad that kobolds are reflexively thought of as thieves, and often jostled and harassed for being kobolds!

Having the Lady Dragon spice up the meal with illusions may be a good last resort, but I am not on my last legs at the beginning of this!

>slapping hand is spent
After only two slaps? That bodes well, I think. Although if you continue to make more mistakes than they have the capacity to punish, they may up the ante. Probably best not to push it.

>Kobolds regarded as thieves
...I don't suppose your new slave collar could work to your advantage here? If the caves are only an hour away from the drow city, then surely their slaves are sometimes sent to the trading area on errands. It could serve as a badge of trustworthiness (until you abuse that trust, of course).

Sounds like sneaking around the trade route is not going to work; The traders will be vigilant, and while you're fast, you're not sneaky. Attempting theft would end with a quiver of crossbow bolts sticking out of your back. You're going to have to approach this from the front, in plain sight, with no funny business.

>>439204
Yes, using your new status as a drow slave to say you're on an errand for your owners would fit the bill. Unfortunately, you're lacking in funds, and telling the shopkeep to put it on the drow's tab will cause trouble for you later.

Do you think you could convince the drake to give you a loan for this? If you pull it off, you'll pay back double within two weeks (just in case it takes longer than a week.) Now it's a question of whether you have time to go to the traders first to get prices, then the drake, or guess at the cost and go to the drake first.

You can put it on the Lich's bill as a business expense :3c

>>439201

Whats happening to our lady dragon/drake friend?

Screw loans, we aren't spending money on our owners. I'd prefer a bunch more slaps in the face then spending money on them.

Failure isn't the end of the world here, but that doesn't mean the drake can't help us out. Maybe we should get an illusion To look a little more human, or possible goblin since that would be easier to pull of should it come to physical contact.

Also, if the drake can manage an illusion that would make a large sack look like a small bag (like say, a coin purse), and possible hide the contents to make them look like coins (instead of say, a quantity of stolen foods), that would be damned helpful.

Story Seeker 2012/08/06(Mon)13:54 No. 439786 ID: f09b71
File 134428647895.png - (127.61KB , 700x700 , 2-18.png )

>The Drake
She is back to business as normal, as far as I know! I admit, however, that I have not visited her as much as I should. Therefore, I will go greet and perhaps ask something of her!

>"Oh. It's you. Hello. What's the emergency?"

>>439786
"Oh, there's no emergency, I just wanted the pleasure of your company. How are you, by the way? Your leg seems swollen. By the way, what do you know about drow cuisine?"

That's all quite true, since you don't seem to regard this as an emergency, and her leg does seem thicker than usual. Perhaps it turned into a dragon's leg and she is becoming a dragon piecemeal?

We're back in the caves. 3hrs remaining.

Well... let's try for refuge in audacity then.

"I finally found a way to get some gold for you! All I had to do was let the Lich sell me into slavery! Well, and spy for her, put up with the drow's abuse, maintain my cover, escape, and... don't worry, it'll be fine.

Can I have a loan?"

Also, might want to ask for her name, unless I missed us already getting that.

Story Seeker 2012/08/06(Mon)14:24 No. 439796 ID: f09b71
File 134428828977.png - (99.86KB , 700x700 , 2-19.png )

I have made excellent time, and though out of breath, made it within half an hour!

"No emergency, I simply wanted the pleasure of your company. And how are you, by the way?"
>"Oh, getting by. My gold pile is tiny but at least it is real."
"Funny you should mention that! I do have just the idea! It merely requires a small loan on your part, 500 gold tops!"
>"I'm listening."
"All I had to do was let the lich sell me into slavery! And spy for her, put up with drow abuse, so forth.. it'll be fine!"
>"I can tell, that is the slave mark of those drow that came around recently. Funny people. This sounds like a terrible idea."
"Have I failed you before?"
>"You haven't asked for loans before."
"I will pay at least double! Maybe even more! Consider it an investment."
>"Oh, very well."
"And, may I ask if your leg is alright? It appears swolle-"
>"I'VE EATEN A LOT OKAY"

>>439796
It was another prank, wasn't it?
All right, all right, we'll have to even the sides a little later then. You're an evener, you even things.

500g. That should easily be enough to cover breakfast. Though you probably want to save some for later, when they make further demands of you. Buy fresh, quality ingredients, but not super expensive luxuries.

Thank her for the monies. You'll have her money in about a week, once you've finished your task.

>Leg
Not to worry, it's quite flattering, really!

>Any advice?
Yeah, ask this. Couldn't hurt.

>>439801
This. And ask if it was another prank, perhaps you can help while you're out from under the lich's eye?

Story Seeker 2012/08/06(Mon)15:01 No. 439816 ID: f09b71
File 134429048767.png - (92.26KB , 700x700 , 2-20.png )

"It looks quite flattering! I hope it was not another prank!"
>"NO, but people keep throwing food as offerings! And look around! All I do all day is sit on my gold, there's nothing to do BUT eat!"
"Ah, well, perhaps someday I will provide entertainment, being a bard! But for now I must be off and thank you for the money. I will return with double the amount in a week! Say, do you have any advice on drow meals?"
>"OH, just because I've got a little pudge, means I'm an expert on food, huh?!"

>>439816
"No, but I could have used the advice, and I was hoping you would be wiser than I. Even if you don't, you still look fantastic, and I don't think you could look anything but."

Try and hug her as you say this if you think it's safe to risk it.

>>439816
oh no your tattoo disappeared I wonder if that means anything! Is someone interfering with tracking magics? I hope this didn't void your contract.

Tell her no, but you imagine that she's more world weary than you are and tasted a few cultures, probably blended in as one a few times for shits and giggles. Tell her that she could go out and fly around for exercise, maybe go prank lesser beings under disguise of their own race.

No, you thought she would have more worldly knowledge than you, since she's actually been out in the world. You're sorry if you offended by insinuating anything with your question.

Since the problem is too many dragon-sized food offerings, and you need food, offer to take the excess off her hands from now on, to remove the temptation to eat. Then offer to help her with finding something to do with her day, once you're done with your current predicament. Perhaps a hobby that doesn't take her away from her hoard, such as reading and collecting books. Amassing a library does sound like something certain dragons do, doesn't it?

Scoop up a small amount of coins on the way out; Say, 200, since you don't know how much this is going to cost. You can come back later if it turns out to be more than you have.

1/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/06(Mon)15:56 No. 439848 ID: f09b71
File 134429378505.png - (106.52KB , 700x700 , 2-21.png )

Oh no my tattoo disappeared?! - Oh wait it is back and I wonder what happened there.

"No, it is because you are wiser than I, and far more experienced! Regardless, I would say you look fantastic, and I don't believe you could look like anything but! If you are so concerned, you can always fly around and perhaps prank lesser beings under disguise of their own race."
>"I am not in the mood for childish pranks. Go and take your gold and make me more.
"By the way, I don't believe I ever did know your name?
>"I like 'Miss Drake'."
"Well then, Miss Drake, I am available to take any excess you would like gone, if that is your wish!"
>"I ATE IT ALL."
"A-ah. Well then, I will take the gold and go! 500 sounds.. like a lavish meal, yes?"
>"500 better be! I'm trusting you on this one!"
"And I shall prove trustworthy again, and will find you more substantial things to do with your days! Farewell, miss drake!"
>"Bye."

2/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/06(Mon)15:56 No. 439849 ID: f09b71
File 134429380822.png - (103.58KB , 700x700 , 2-22.png )

I will catch fish after purchasing what I will to ensure freshness, and head to the commons as of next! I admit I am nervous, and I hear all sorts of voices of all sorts of species. I must tread carefully, and make sure my slave mark is visible! Another quick 15 minutes pass to get close.

>"'ey! 'ey kid! Oy! 'ey boy! 'ey bold! Bold!"

And that would be the voice of a gnoll behind me.

>>439849
"What's up Gnoll guy? Gotta make a dinner for my masters so I gotta be quick."

>>439853
This, and hope he isn't going to carry out some gnollings.

Okay, this sounds like a distraction for a mugging, or something worse, more than anything else. Note places you could bolt to, and glance around for hiding spots where this gnoll's buddies could be. Keep your distance while turning to say "Yeah, what's up?"

>>439853
This is not a good idea. You don't want to give him any indication that you're on an errand, and therefore have money.

You know what, actually, yeah let's just run.
You don't wanna get horrifically gnolled do you?

I think a generic "what?" or "yes?" is appropriate. If you're just getting close to the trading area, he may be a guard. In that case it behooves you to act like you belong here, not run like a thief.

Of course, he could also be a bandit. Or just somegnoll who doesn't like 'bolds and is out to make trouble for you.

But we don't know yet. Let's see what he wants, and then respond appropriately.

Story Seeker 2012/08/06(Mon)16:59 No. 439870 ID: f09b71
File 134429754630.png - (106.87KB , 700x700 , 2-23.png )

There are plenty of corners to dart around, but also plenty of corners that gnoll buddies could be hiding around as well! I will most certainly keep my distance away from potential gnollings!

"Yeah? What is up?"
>"'Yer up, bold! Ya came here cause ya got lucky! Found an 'ol treasure or a rich little rye, now ya wanna blow it all on.. what do ya 'bolds fling cash for anyway? I tell ya! Protection! Ya need protection, kid! An' don't tell me ya don't got any coin kid, ain't a damn kobold comes swaggerin' in like you without a pretty shine in his purse!"

>>439870
"This gold ain't mine to spend. Got ladies at my house I have to entertain with a good meal, so hey, if you gots spices, yeah I'll buy... or is this just the standard 'pay a small toll and my boys won't rough you up later, I'm just being a little polite here for you because that generally helps business' kind of thing?

Ah. He's not quite a bandit, he's more an extortionist. Although he could resort to outright banditry if we don't handle this right.

"I am not here as the result of luck, at least not good. I am enslaved, and on an errand for my masters. I would not think you would enjoy it if I hired you, as you would find yourself subject to the tender mercies of the drow as well."

This hinges on the drow having a bad reputation, and the gnoll wanting nothing to do with 'em.

>>439870
Point to the neckband
"Unless you think you can protect me from angry drow, necromancers, and dragons, I'm going to use my mistress's money as I am told."
Then walk away.

Point to the top ring marking on your neck. "See this? This is a drow slave marking. I'm on an errand for my mistresses, and their coin is not mine to spend." Point to the other marking, and embellish what it does, a lot. "Now this is an enchanted mark they use to track me, see and hear through my eyes and ears, and speak to me from far away. Oh, and lets me alert them if I'm waylaid." Look the gnoll right in the eyes. "Now, I'm sure we can come to some form of agreement without involving my mistresses, yes?"

Story Seeker 2012/08/06(Mon)18:23 No. 439889 ID: f09b71
File 134430259004.png - (84.35KB , 700x700 , 2-24.png )

"See this? This is a slave mark from the drow, and it is not my coin to spend! You may be a gnoll, but I don't think you can protect me from angry drow, necromancers and dragons! It also tracks me, alerting them if I'm waylaid! Unless this is protection from you?"
>"Ey ya well spoken dumbass, ya think that's gonna stop anyone from knockin' yer gut out?! I haven't had a meal in 2 days! Scrawny as hell, all I got to my size is fur n' bone! Ain't a damn dragon 'er lich that'll scare me when I need some damn food! And nice try, but drow? Ain't a damn drow for dozens of miles, bold! Ain't a damn drow that'd ever give a bold 2 coins to rub together! I could just wrench it from yer dead hands ya know, but I'm tryin' to earn a gold fer once in my life, ya know?"

"give? no it's a loan with my life as collateral."

You know... we could just hire this guy to steal lots more food for us than we could buy.

Give him some of our current coinage and a little of the spoils, give the leftover coinage to Miss Drake, and then the food to our lovely captors.

Would a gentleman give a starving man a chance at redemption? We may be able to use him for our purposes.

If he helps us make this meal he can also eat some of it.

>>439889
"Ok, now that is something I can help with. I can get you a meal, and maybe a job. Sound good?"

This gnoll is all right I suppose.
Will 50 gold do? We do need a guide to find the spices around the marketplace. IF he has a personal review, well that would also be nice. Anything that goes great on fish, you know?

If just 50 gold is unacceptable, we could just grab him an extra fish with our other foot, since food seems to be his main goal. Is your fishing spot secret or something? Fish bite your foot all the goddamn time how is this fool having a hard time getting food?

Well, I don't know your running or walking speeds, but I'd have to guess they are within dozens of miles.

>but I'm tryin' to earn a gold fer once in my life, ya know?

You know, if he's honestly looking to do some work for you, and not just shake you down for 'protection', I say we may as well take him up on it. I'm kind of inclined to believe him- successful extortionists aren't as lean and worn as he is. And he's desperate. You could always use another friend.

*Nod* "I can understand that sentiment. Truth to be told, I'm not sure how well a humble bold will be received here, especially if my markings failed to impress even one mangy gnoll. *Grin* Perhaps, I could use some protection after all."

The offer your hand, trade names. You've got some muscle for a few hours. Maybe a friend for later, or when you need to escape.

If the traders don't respect your drow-marks (which they may not- from the gnoll's reaction, it seems they don't have much influence out here), maybe having a little muscle behind you will help. If nothing else, thieves don't tend to show up with bodyguards.

Tell him you can't promise any gold. You weren't lying about the drow. However you can at least feed him. Its not too tough to make enough for four instead of three.

Okay, let's make a deal. Say you'll hire him as a guide and guard, to keep other ruffians from getting on your case, for two or three hours. Since you're going to buy food anyway, offer him three days worth of food and drink for a gnoll, with a good meal up front, and the rest at the end.

>>439895
We don't know how much 50 gold is worth. Could be a fortnight worth of good meals to a gnoll. Best not to put any numbers out right away.

Story Seeker 2012/08/06(Mon)19:07 No. 439912 ID: f09b71
File 134430526162.png - (128.61KB , 700x700 , 2-25.png )

>Fishing pond secrets
It is a secret amongst the kobolds! And it is not hard to motivate keeping it a secret, considering that it would be overfished if it ever got out!

"If you help me get a fine meal, I'll give you enough to eat as well."
>"Don't get me wrong kid, a meal is well and good fer today, but tomorrow and the next? If I don't get a job to get a coin, I'll just be in the same spot I'm in yesterday!
"Alright, uh, I'm not lying about the drow, I can't give gold! But how about three days worth of food! Is that a deal?"

I extend my hand, and he just yanks me up!

>"Now you're talking, drow talk or not! Now what're ya willin' to pay? I know who's comin' in n' out, we got some chefs makin' rounds fer the classy ones, and even have some wizards that'll summon up a real nice meal fer some kinda exhorban.. exerbin... some kinda ripoff price, but ya might be able to afford it! Hundred's o' gold, hah! By the way, m'names Clunker!"
"A pleasure - my name is Story Seeker."
>"Real fancy name ya got. Who're ya tryin' to impress? Some cute lil' bold girl, goin' around with fancy names an' tossin' all kinds o' wealth around for a single meal?"

Oh my. What if you "persuade" him to not take your money?

What the fuck are we doing throwing around so much money for?!

ASK the gnoll how much a decent meal should cost.

>>439914
We never actually mentioned how much we're spending on a single meal... though we should try and get a decent suit ordered or something since the drow expect us to dress up eventually. The 500 gold should lsat us the week that we're spying on them.

Since we still have three hours we can buy supplies, and cook it ourselves. Or we can hire a chef to do so. The chef will probably be the best choice but we're kind of lacking a properly stocked kitchen to put him in.

"the ladies I'm trying to impress are the drow.
they got this weird experiment trying to make a kobold really fancy and gentlemanly. I get slapped every time I don't do something fancy or polite. They trick me sometimes too, so I have to be clever to avoid it, which is precisely why I overstepped myself. Apparently, fashion tips are unacceptable to Drow, so heads up if you ever end up in my shoes. I kinda overstepped what I was easily capable of doing, so that's why I'm getting spices and food."

>>439912
Also to answer his question, the drow are having us give them a meal, and we don't want to disappoint them. Since he insists drow don't exist anywhere nearby, say that maybe they aren't drow; maybe it's an illusion or a shapeshift, or just elves in makeup. Whatever, you're their slave and they want you to feed them. It doesn't matter what they really are at this point. Ask if he knows what food drow like.

Ask Clunker if he knows of a chef that does good work with fresh fish, since you know where to get real fresh fish; Add that it doesn't have to be super fancy, just above-average. We go to that chef, and ask if they can make up a to-go order to be ready just before Yapper has to run back, and how long it would take. Pay for a meal for Clunker, have him escort Yapper to the edge of the trade area. He goes back to eat while Yapper gets the fish.

I agree the gold should have to last us for a week of potential expenses. That means ~70 a day. Possibly going over the average today, as we may have startup costs (cookware, lessons?) We should also cache the remaining gold close it our shack glorious guesthouse on our return, so the drow can't confiscate it or anything.

I think going to a chef is our best bet, especially if we can pay a little extra so we can watch or get a lesson in the process. Then we can keep cooking ourself all week, only having to buy/obtain ingredients.

We also can't have all the food prepared here- it'll be cold by the time we run back. We will need to return with ingredients and prepare on site.

...there is a place to cook in at said site, right? At the very least you need fire, water, and the basic culinary tools (pot, pan, knife, etc). You may have to invest in those.

>>439933
Also cups, plates, and eating utensils of appropriate quality to the meal. You're also going to have to get something to go in those cups as well. A bottle of wine, or fresh fruit to juice would do.

The meal could be brought in if there's enough time to start a fire and heat it back up. It may not be the best that way, though, so ask the chef. Otherwise the meal may have to be all items that are served room temperature.

Oh, when was the last time you ate, Yapper? Before going to sleep yesterday, I gather, so while you're running around here, make sure to stop for a minute and buy something to eat to keep you going.

Polo 2012/08/07(Tue)03:55 No. 440123 ID: f09b71
File 134433692890.png - (111.49KB , 700x700 , 2-26.png )

"I am attempting to impress the drow! They seem interested in making a gentleman of me!"
>"Haha, ya wanna keep up that drow story, yer gonna have to know a thing about 'im! Ain't a drow like that."
"Would you believe they're elves in makeup? Some kind of shapeshift?"
>"Hahaha, no."
"Anyways, tell me, Clunker! How much would an excellent meal go for! Also, you are free to put me back down!"
>"If yer wantin' the best food th'world has to give, there's a mage that's offerin' 'im fer the highest prices th' world's got to take! Hundred's of gold coinage for a single meal that's said to keep a belly full fer days, never had it myself. If ya just want a damn good cook an' have a meal to remember, ya can get one for 50 gold. Or so, damn merchants like to waste time hagglin'. Me, I just want a few damn slabs a' meat, an that'll run a few gold apiece. So where'll I take ya?"

>Last time I ate
Just last night! While hunger may be setting it, it is by no means a peril to wait until the Drow's late breakfast time.

>Place to cook at the site
If I cannot purchase such things at these commons for a fair price, I have crude tools for cooking back at the kobold village.

The 50 gold mark sounds like a good bet for a first try... but I wonder if the drow will expect you to cook it yourself?

But don't spend that kind of money on the gnoll of course. May as well get his food first, actually, just so he's happy enough to protect you fully.

Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that he, or someone we have not noticed, has already relieved us of our gold?

I hope you've been keeping a close eye on your wealth.

Well, maybe they're odd drow. Or something pretending to be drow. I'm currently just trapped into working for them, it's hardly as if I know their life story (yet).

>kobold cooking implements
Oh yeah, that's a better idea than buying 'em. Probably not the highest quality in the world, but I think they're going to be impressed if you manage to pull off a quality meal at all, and not beat you for your choice in tools.

The 50g mark seems reasonable. Unless that's per portion, in which case feeding both drow, yourself, and Clunker's 3day fee will cost 300g.

>>440125
>>440127
Yes, discreetly make sure you aren't being robbed. We've decided to trust Clunker for the moment, but it shouldn't be blind trust.

>>440124
Probably not. Gentlemen don't need to do things themselves!

Story Seeker 2012/08/07(Tue)11:38 No. 440186 ID: f09b71
File 134436468548.png - (205.28KB , 700x700 , 2-27.png )

My eye is kept on my wealth, but I have it well hidden, and the gnoll doesn't seem to be trying to change that! I tell him that the chef will do. He leads me on through, and a short walk is made to a stall with what I presume is the cook.

>"Clunker you bum, get out of here. I don't have table scraps, and even if I did, the worms would make better use of it." he says before I can get a word in.
>"I'm not begging! Th' little guys got it made, I know he's got the metals."
>"This looks like a joke that lost its punchline. Fine, amuse me. Tell me what you want, I'll tell you how much I want. Gold up front. No funny business."

>>440186
Hmm, either some of your primo spices for making fish taste better or food that's good to eat after more than an hour of travel. Maybe something you can warm up a little by a small fire. You got anything particular that drow might like?

Poo. Our escort brings us no addition respect. At least he's decent muscle and intel.

Man, they're not giving us anything to go with here. There's no menu on the wall? Or anything on display?

Failing that, I guess we want cooking staples. Butter/oil, flour, basic spices / seasonings, probably some kind of rice or grain. (This is totally turning into Masterchef:Kobold edition, isn't it). I kind of don't think this guys look like they'll provide a lesson, though flashing a little gold might help.

We should also secure Clunker's three meals.

We should have the meal made. While we SHOULD practice cooking for the upcoming week the very first breakfast has to at least be adequate.

Don't spend more than 50 gold on the meals for the two drows so as to not raise their expectation of your own cooking, and get Clunker and yourself a bite as well. Then on the walk back talk to Clunker about the drows. Even if he doesnt believe you, tell him you're gonna try to pass him as a second gentleman-in-training so he might have a fighting chance when he meets them. Be sure to let him know they like slapping, and try to be patient because we don't really know how powerful drows are. Also I think we should keep him in the dark about the Lich for now.

>>440205
I would think we leave him behind when we return. He's certainly not going to like their company, and neither a gentleman nor a slave should bring home riffraff to annoy his mistresses.

Besides, if they never meet him, we might better be able to use him in our eventual escape plan (a diversion? Bringing supplies out to us? Something.)

First you are going to have to show him you have some money, though probably not how much money you actually posses. (This is likely a bit too respectable of an establishment to rob you, but he might charge more for wealthy customers.)

And hope your tattoo re-appears by the time you start talking :V

Show them you have at least some money by ordering up their cheapest gnoll-sized meal for Clunker; He can nosh on that while you talk to the chef. Try not to show off your sack-o-gold, otherwise they might try to gouge you on the price of the next order.

Tell the chef you need a carry-out man-sized meal for three that can be reheated easily with a very basic kitchen. The main part of the meal based on a seasoned grilled fish fillet, and you defer to the chef to choose the best sides to go with it. You'll provide the live fish yourself, once the chef tells you how many and how big will be needed.

Story Seeker 2012/08/07(Tue)23:13 No. 440405 ID: f09b71
File 134440641612.png - (60.82KB , 700x700 , 2-28.png )

"First of all, a quick meal for the gnoll! It has no need for fanciness, correct?"
>"Right, kiddo. Just hand me some food, and my stomach'll do all the cooking I need!"
>"... I know how much he eats. 8 gold."

Sounds fair so I discreetly hand the gold over without rustling the rest too much.

>"Color me surprised, not yellow painted rocks or anything. So what'll you be having?"
"Perhaps things to make a meal out of fish, and it should be good after an hour of travel! I am making something for the drow, if that helps."
>"Drow, eh? Heard about 'em. Never met 'im, but I know some drow dishes. Nasty stuff. Bugs n' leaves and things you'd never think to eat, they consider real fancy delicacies. Lucky for you, I keep some around. They don't go bad too fast, an' they're cold dishes. Good for keeping around to travel at least an hour. That sound good?"
"It does, and I would be quite gracious to have it cooked! Specifically for three people."
>"45 gold."
"Done! I don't suppose you would be willing to show me how it is cooked as well?"
>"What? You askin' me to take you on as an apprentice or somethin'?"

no no just roasted, baked, fried?

Say that you hadn't considered that possibility. Ask what it would involve. We would have to ask our owners for permission in any case.

Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)00:36 No. 440434 ID: f09b71
File 134441137126.png - (92.85KB , 700x700 , 2-29.png )

"Perhaps not that far! Well, actually, I am curious what that would entail?"
>"You peel potatoes, and get to learn what it is to be a cook. The fact that you can speak half understandable common puts you a damn sight higher up than most others around here. The fact you're doing well for yourself helps too. I don't do sideshows, so it's an apprentice or nothing."

It is true, however, that I would need permission from the drow to take on an apprenticeship even if I did want to do this.

>"Think on it. Anything else you want other than the meal cooked, or can I get on with it?"

Is our common really only half understandable? That's another thing we'll want to work on I think.

That's all we need from him for now, though.

>>440434
Politely inform him that you're not sure you'll be able to do a long-term apprenticeship. However, you're willing to help for at least this one meal in return for some teaching. And you'll pay for anything you mess up, and you'll toss in some extra gold as a teaching fee.

At some point, we need to talk to the lich about memory transfers. If she can take memories, maybe she can implant them? It might be a handy way to learn some skills, like cooking.

We'll be back with the fish shortly!

>>440435
>Is our common really only half understandable?
It's a matter of speech.

"Thank you for the offer. I'll keep it in mind for when I have fewer bosses than I do now."

Ask how long it will take to prepare, and, just to make sure, ask if it is poisonous for non-drow, or kobolds, to eat; You don't want to find that one out first-hand.

While you're waiting, ask Clunker if there's a slave market in the Commons; You'd like to confirm that these markings are actual drow slave markings. They might also have records of the kind of marks certain drow groups use to compare it against, which could tell you which one you were sold to. After he's finished eating, of course.

1/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)03:53 No. 440482 ID: f09b71
File 134442322416.png - (77.32KB , 700x700 , 2-30.png )

I like to think of my basic as being quite adequate at the very least! I do hope that this chef is just rough around the edges.

"Then I will get fresh fish soon! I will keep an apprenticeship in mind, but when I am under fewer bosses. By the way, the dish isn't poisonous for non-drow, correct?"
>"What? No."
"I am willing to help with this meal, by the way, I am willing to part with more gold to learn how this dish is made!"
>"It's a complex dish. If you expect to see anything from running right into an advanced meal, save yourself some time and just dump your gold into my coffers."
"In that case, I will be off!"
>"Yeah yeah."

2/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)03:53 No. 440483 ID: f09b71
File 134442323445.png - (94.15KB , 700x700 , 2-31.png )

>Ask Clunker about a slave market to confirm the slave mark

"Hey Clunker!"
>"What is up, bud'bold?"
"Is there any slave market around here?"
>"That's fawkin' HALF the market 'round here, kid. And half the reason ya need me to keep the slave traders past arms reach! Why? You wanna go there?"
"Possibly to confirm that these marks are, in fact, drow markings! Then again, perhaps I should simply hurry to gather the fish."
>"'ey, it's your choice. I'm jus' followin' no matter where you go."

>>440483
Can't we get the fish for cooking then go visit the slavers while it's being cooked?

I think our order should be something like this:

-acquire fish
-deliver fish to chief
-investigate slave market while chef cleans the fish and cooks
-pick up meal
-get back

If we want to investigate the slave market while marked as a slave, Clunker seems valuable to have around. You need to appear to be traveling with someone, or you run the risk of being picked up and resold.

You might have to have Clunker poses as your owner, as it would seem odd for a slave to be asking questions ("I bought this idiot bold, and he claims he was drow trained! Is he a filthy liar, or is that what this stupid markings mean?"). Of course, then you have to trust him not to resell you either.

Possibly, you could have him investigate while you fish, although that might not work without your neck to show off.

Gnolls gain regenerative powers when they eat, it would seem. His torn ear's grown back.

>Gnolls gain regenerative powers when they eat, it would seem. His torn ear's grown back.
Everyone knows eating heals you, just like sleeping for a while does.

>>440483
Hey, if he's following you, that makes him your scruffy, ill-mannered, yet brave and loyal cohort. The Drow can hardly fault how proper it is for a Gentleman to have a Man's Man to deal with the riffraff.

Also, I do not recommend the slave market. Those are filthy places, no place for a man of your stature.

Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)10:48 No. 440556 ID: f09b71
File 134444812197.png - (82.26KB , 800x800 , 2-32.png )

>Why not get the fish first?
... no reason!

"I will be heading off to get a fish, then, Clunker! I will be fine, so just wait here, please!"
>"Ey! I said I'm comin' with."
"No, really, I insist you not come with me!"
>"Sick o' me already, huh?! I told ya I had a job!"

>>440556
Eh, it's a secret fishing hole. If I told everyone where it was, it'd get overfished, and all the other 'bolds would start starving. Then they would eat me. They might kill me first if I was really lucky.

Hmm. We should either have him guard the path to the fishing hole, or send him to gather info from the slave market, and meet us back at the restaurant.

Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)11:22 No. 440563 ID: f09b71
File 134445014355.png - (86.99KB , 700x700 , 2-33.png )

"No, I can't say! It's a koboldy secret, and if I gave it away, we'd all starve! Then they'd eat me! Maybe even kill me first if I was lucky!"
>"Well that's why ya got a bodyguard, dumbass! Exactly so that doesn't happen!"
"I tell you what! I may need someone to guard the path, or maybe to gather information from the slave market!"
>"A bodyguard! Ya want a regular guard or a.. information.. gather informationalist... person, ya gotta hire me fer that! Each a' those things are probably another meal!"

>>440563
So wait, are you saying you'd guard the kobolds against starvation? By letting them eat you? You are one hell of a dedicated bodyguard.

Tell him to ask around about these new drow and if anyone else has heard about them. For payment he can join us for dinner with the drow :D hilarity ensued.

Say that you're just temporarily reassigning him to bodyguard the chef until your return. It's totally cool. He's protecting your investment. You're the boss here so you're the one evaluating the risks and utilizing Clunkers ability in key areas according to the situation.

Oh, haha. This guy is smarter than I first gave him credit for. Sticking to the letter of the agreement in such a away that it works to his employer's disadvantage, finagling a higher payment in return for actually being useful. That's the kind of dick move we'd pull.

I like it. I say he deserves to be paid for coming up with it.

Offer his another meal to upgrade from bodyguard to bodyguard and errand runner. Insist that we get more than just the one errand out of it, so we can get him to do something later (then we have an excuse to call on him during our escape plan). Then we send him off to run our question asking errand, while we fish.

>>440563
Alternate solution: BUY fish.

1/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)13:01 No. 440599 ID: f09b71
File 134445611113.png - (55.45KB , 700x700 , 2-34.png )

"Okay, okay! If you ask about the drow, I'll let you join us for dinner! In fact, if you're willing to do more errands like this, I would be willing to pay you with meals now and again!"
>"If that means I get to eat with ya an' these drow, then yeah, cause I was gonna join ya anyway!"

2/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)13:02 No. 440600 ID: f09b71
File 134445617566.png - (140.53KB , 700x700 , 2-35.png )

Some time later...

In the venerable wisdom of hindsight, that may have been a bad idea. Oh well, it is too late for second guesses!

>Be a big game hunter
Beginnings are modest.

>"You fish much. What is ring around neck? Dumb Yapper get enslaved?"

Ah, it's Sili. Normally she hunts for less, uh, suicidal game than the fish.

Tell her it's just for one week, and you might get a story out of it.

>>440600
"Yeah, I'm a drow experiment in turning a kobold into a drow gentlemen. You said go to the dragon to get an adventure, which led to the lich giving me an adventure, and then I was going and a forth between the two and now I got this one. I have to cook for some ladies and I'm bringing my gnoll bodyguard as a dinner guest. It's crazy. I'll get free soon enough, I learn fast and I've gotten out of worse scrapes if graduating doesn't grant me freedom. It ain't dumb, I made some good gold last week and I'm gonna get some good gold this week too."

>>440602
This. Let's not give away too much detail, this might be Zirkala in disguise again seeing if you can keep your mouth shut.

>>440609
If it is someone disguised as her its probably best to simply say yes we did get enslaved and not elaborate.

>>440612
Go with this

>>440612
True.

If we admit we're enslaved, when we come home, we may find the village has looted our shack and possessions. I mean, it's not like we'd be coming back and need them, right? (The litch warned us about that).

Hard to bluff, if we're limited to pidgin draconic, here.

"No, only useful 'bolds get enslaved. Yapper seem useful to you? *Grin* Is part of a cunning plan."

She'll gladly think you a fool, and will be disgusted with your stupidity rather than display any interest in your "plan".

>>440617
Wait, we have stuff? I thought we just had some gold, and we can carry that around.

>>440620
We at the very least have a set of walls with enough privacy that the lich feels she won't be spotted is she teleports in, a straw bed, rudimentary cooking materials, and his fishing rod (oh wait no, we broke that). Probably other odds and ends as well.

All free for the taking if we're enslaved. I mean, at the very least you'd expect space to be a premium.

Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)13:42 No. 440623 ID: f09b71
File 134445854005.png - (106.12KB , 700x700 , 2-36.png )

"For mere week, and Story Seeker may get story. Only useful kobold get enslaved! You admit Story Seeker is useful? Is cunning plan."
>"That it? For find story, you no share details. Yapper enslaved because stupid slave willing to die makes good slave. What slave wanders around kobold village?"
"Incomplete story no story worth sharing! Not in draconic. Should learn common! And, current owners let time off. Only week anyway! No steal my stuff."
>"Better things to do than learn common, like not be in danger all time."
"To each have own! Story Seeker not afraid, is doing well."
"Not Story Seeker. Yapper. You Yapper."

>>440620
Yes, we have a hut. It contains at least a straw mat and blanket, as visible in the opening picture of this thread.

>>440617
Sure, something like that. Maybe something about learning to cook too.

She can call you whatever she likes.

>>440623
I note she didn't say anything about not looting your stuff. What do you have that would be difficult to replace?

...not bad, but you kind of tried to make intelligent excuses and play off her disgust of you at the same time. Not surprising she just ended up annoyed with you.

If she hangs around:
"Yapper will be Storyteller, just will see.
What Sili doing at fishing, anyways?"

Continue fishing. You need more than just 1, I think.

>>440623
Man should make own name.
Tired of insults.
A smart life in your terms is a boring life.
Sili what do you do for fun and fulfillment?

Wait, if danger is bad, why is having broken horns a good thing? Fairly sure Story Seeker mentioned in Thread 1 that he was held in low regard because all his horns are intact.

Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)14:08 No. 440635 ID: f09b71
File 134446013206.png - (123.95KB , 700x700 , 2-37.png )

>What would be difficult to replace?
With a little bit of gold, nothing! My material wealth is, shall we say, not a tall pedestal to fall from should it all be stolen!

"Why danger bad? Thought Sili said broken horn is good."
>"Should find middle ground between coward safety and stupid danger. Need smart danger."
I have no idea.
"Yapper will be Story Seeker. Will see! Man should make own name."
>"And Grunk would name self Legendary Great Warrior, but all Grunk get is gravemarker that say Grunk on it."
"Sili would be Sili, but now is Downer Kobold! Tired of insults. What doing at fishing pond anyway?"
>"Not see Yapper all morning. Thought dead finally, but just off being enslaved. Fish always easy meal to get, and Sili not find any rats. Will fish too."
"What Sili do for fun and fulfillment?"
>"Live."

Wait, is she worried about you?

God I hope we don't have to avoid having sex with HER too.

>>440635
What do you live for? What's the point?

>>440637
I think she meant she was hoping we were dead. Might as well add "Sweet of you to worry" to annoy/fluster her, depending.

>>440639
Yus.

Just remember to keep an eye on the clock, well, inner clock at least. You can't spend all your time living up to your unfortunate name, yapping away when we have fish to catch and things to do on a deadline.

1/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)15:18 No. 440657 ID: f09b71
File 134446433739.png - (50.56KB , 700x700 , 2-38.png )

"Is sweet of Sili to worry."
>"Fah. Graveyard is full."
"Downer Kobold no need worry."

And so the conversation dies down, and I eventually get another fish to make sure there is enough. As I shouldn't spend too much time, I bid Sili goodbye and head off.

2/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)15:21 No. 440660 ID: f09b71
File 134446450678.png - (130.61KB , 700x700 , 2-39.png )

Clunker is waiting for me at the chef's area, as I give the fish up to said Chef.

>"Lookin' like everyone's in on this whole drow bit. Feels like a some kinda joke I wasn't invited to. Yeah they say drow often mark slaves usin' the whole neck rings an' the like, supposedly. Th' new drow barely been here for long, so they haven't been dealin' with 'em too much yet. They expect the drow's business to start pickin' up real fast though, say the drow love havin' slaves." Clunker says.

Say that it's not too late for him to back out of the dinner, if he doesn't want to risk getting enslaved himself now that he believes us. We can just switch the deal to extra meals... and on hindsight maybe they wouldn't like it if we invited an extra person without asking?

>>440663
This.

Thank him for the info. They're acting like normal drow in one respect, at least.

It'll be a joke you get to experience if you tag along. Are you really sure you want to? I'm not sure I'd want to put up with them for just food.

...we should also make it clear he absolutely cannot try to bodyguard you if they decide to smack you. That would be disastrous. If he complains, tell him a bodygaurd's role should be to protect from real threats, not annoyed women.

Dissuade Clunker from coming to dinner by pointing out that you'll get in big trouble for bringing a dinner guest without permission. He wouldn't like it anyway. These drow are real uptight about proper posh manners. Considering you only got slapped for your minor bad manners, Clunker would have them responding in a way that'd leave the smell of burt gnoll fur in the air for days.

Since you have some downtime while the food is prepared, see if you can find a bookseller and buy a book on basic drow manners and etiquette. It'll be an investment in keeping your cheeks from developing callouses from glove impacts.

Alison 2012/08/08(Wed)17:40 No. 440719 ID: f09b71
File 134447281463.png - (68.34KB , 700x700 , 2-40.png )

"Hey, Clunker. It's appreciated, believe me, for you to take your job so seriously! You can back out, though! You don't want to come with me. You'd risk getting enslaved yourself, and you absolutely cannot bodyguard me if they decide to smack me! I also don't have permission, and they smacked me for minor transgressions! They'd expect far too much from you!"
>"Kid I didn't take this job to back back down! 'sides, I'm sure they'd love me! I can be real gentlemanly if I put my mind to it! A real charmer. Don't just kick me out like that! I'm insistin', here!"

Very well!

Well, he was cleverer than we initially gave him credit for. Maybe he can pull off a polite act. Heck, a gentleman bringing home another gentleman caller could work.

But really, he can't interfere with them trying anything short of killing us. And if they're horrible to him, he should leave instead of fighting back. After all, getting us in more trouble is the opposite of what a bodyguard does.

We also want to stash the gold on our way back, which may be a little tricky with him in tow, but whatever. He hasn't backstabbed us yet, and he could have easily beaten you up and kept the gold earlier.

>>440720
I don't really see what we can do other than this.


Oh, and ask him to open his eyes, it's starting to make me suspicious. It could quite plausibly just be his face due to his personality, but I want to make damn sure he isn't some kind of weird Corinthian-demon type thing.

>>440726
Let's wait and see if he opens them on his own. Or we can ask him later.

>>440729
Fair enough, I suppose. Although I'm getting a bit paranoid after the illusionary dragon, illusionary herb seller, and uh... that's it, but let's not have it happen a third time.

Maybe ask him to show us his charming act and ask if it involves opening his eyes while not implying my paranoid fears?

Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)18:13 No. 440735 ID: f09b71
File 134447481378.png - (93.36KB , 700x700 , 2-41.png )

"Perhaps you could show me your gentlemanly act now? Perhaps it involves opening ones eyes?"
>"You makin' fun o' my face?"
"Er, no, nevermind! Very well, you can come!"
>"Nice nice. Ya wantin' to do anythin' else, or jus' wait for the chef to do his thing and get on our way?"

The drow said something about our clothes... maybe we can get some from here. We should be able to afford a decent outfit.

Price check! Out of curiosity, how much gold have we blown so far on all this? (I assume you've already paid or agreed upon a price with the chef).

We might need to swing by your shack and grab some plates and utensils if there weren't any at your mud hut guesthouse. Unless you were savvy enough to make fancy food you're supposed to eat with your hands, the ladies aren't going to want to.

>>440735
"You might want to know howt o get along with the drow."

Let's see. He cannot accept charity, so he'll have to be out gentlemanly bodyguard and earn his stay. Shouldn't be a problem.

Also, they don't like it when you ask about things they expect gentlemen to already know. Is there anything you'd like to know about, just in case?

>>440742
Well, tell him what you seem to have picked up about their idea of a "gentleman" so far, yeah.

1/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)19:28 No. 440768 ID: f09b71
File 134447929731.png - (89.07KB , 700x700 , 2-42.png )

>Gold check!
I have spent 45 on the meal and 8 on clunker's food! I have 447 remaining!

"Clunker! I may need better clothes! I have snazzy armor, but that is for fighting, not for gentlemanning! Do you know of any tailors?"
>"Yer in luck, kid, barely anyone around here cares about clothes enough to make a business at 'em, but there is one that came around recently! Follow me."

While he leads on, I share with him what I know about the Drow's idea of a gentleman. Half the time I do not even think he is listening, but when I ask, he recites the lesson in, well, his interpretation of such accurately enough.

>"Here we are, kid. Don't know much about tailorship, but it don't smell like a butcher's shop to me."

2/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/08(Wed)19:29 No. 440769 ID: f09b71
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Some species I have never seen before comes to me, next to a tent I presume she sets up shop in.

>"Hello."
"Greetings! Are you the tailor? I have come for clothes."
>"You want clothes? Okay. I can make some for you right now, I'm really fast. What kind?"

Got something with SWAG?
Does he/she know any drow designs? Something minimalistic, but with some nice fabric. Maybe a black tunic with some gold-colored lacings?

Whatever you wind up getting, don't wear it around this area. It'll make you look more like a target, and risk ruining your fancy clothes

>>440772
Clunker will also need one for his gentleman act.

That's a dog variant kobold, doofus. But since you have no way of knowing that, ask what he is.

As for what kind of clothes... something fancier, but not just for parties or whatever.

Lizardbold, meet dogbold.

You want fancy, but workable. You have to be able to move and work in these clothes without getting the clothes ruined (so not a dress suit). Maybe a vest and pants, kinda Gatsby-ish? (style at least, his color pallet wouldn't suit you. I'd think you'd want blacks and greys rather than whites).

How about a bond style tuxedo?

1/3 Story Seeker 2012/08/09(Thu)00:37 No. 440901 ID: f09b71
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"May I ask what you are?"
>"A kobold, duh!"
"But, I'm a kobold."
>"Nuh uh."
"... anyways, I need something that appeals to drow sensibilities! Do you know any designs like that?"
>"Uhhhhhh...."
"No matter! Something simple, but with nice fabric. Preferably dark! Possibly gold colored lacings. A bit of swag, but still able to work and move while in it!"
>"Okay, I think I have an idea! Hold still."

She, I think, takes my measurements and begins to work. And she does work quickly, and it doesn't take long before, well...

>"Okay, and..."

2/3 Story Seeker 2012/08/09(Thu)00:38 No. 440902 ID: f09b71
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She is nice, but....

>"I know it doesn't quite fit as well as I wanted to, I'm sorry, I'm a bit new to this! What do you think? "
"I think, uh...."

The left side [your left] is very well done!

Not bad for a first try.

Goddamn mammalian kobolds and their puppy eyes.

"Just needs some tweaking. The left side is excellent. Perhaps you should not rush quite so much? Haste makes waste, as they say."

as much as I can see, the right side just has some parts too long. shouldn't be unable to fix^^
maybe some nice words and asking about fixing a little bit...

...Dangit, she's making that adorable face that makes you feel like any criticism will break her little heart. Here's hoping she doesn't go to pieces.

"Uh... It's real good for a first try!" Raise your left hand. "I like this half the best. Mirror it over to the other side, add the same cuff trim to the collar and hem, and it'll be perfect." Did she do a pair of pants as well? Have her add the same trim to the leg cuffs too. Get a belt to match as well.

When she's done, tell her that you'll let your drow mistresses about her; They'd be real interested in doing business with a tailor that can work this fast and good. That is, if she doesn't think they'd abduct her into slavery. That happens a lot to your kind of kobolds around here when they show skill.

>>440901
"Kobold" might be the name stuck on any species that is short and gets pushed around by everyone else a lot. Wouldn't be the first time the same name was put on two separate species.

1/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/09(Thu)04:12 No. 440949 ID: f09b71
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"It is an excellent left side, my left that is, perhaps if you could mirror it! And remember, I am not in a particular hurry, so do take your time!"
>"Well... okay. I'm sorry!"

>Tell her about the Drow
I, uh, do not know if the drow, in their demand for perfection, would go easy on this one's sensibilities!

2/2 Story Seeker 2012/08/09(Thu)04:13 No. 440950 ID: f09b71
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Some time later, she gets it.. well, better! There are some stitches and seams that are rather apparent should one look close, and the fit certainly doesn't quite feel right, but aside from the armor, this is still the best fabric I have been in.

"Thank you, miss! It is much better. How much will that be, then?"
>"Um, um. 5 gold. I- I hope the trim is okay. I sort of, um, copied it from your neck decoration."

Now, I do not know prices and appraisal well, but I am certain that this sort of labor goes over that much!

ask him how much the material cost.

Cover at least enough to pay for the material and one or two meals.