Possess our piggy bank familiar.

fifty bucks say possessing Wrath won't work. so possess a golem. or if you're stuck in the room, try possessing that sword.

Kevros and pray that he is lying about the death thing

>>437428
Wrath.

Wait, no.

Possess Lizbeth's corpse.

Wrath, brring that one of the ninja-golems, barring that our familiar.

>>437439
What and fulfill the gruesome prophecy of us merging permanently with Kev? I thought we wanted to avoid that.

>>437437
The sword is actually an interesting idea, if w can't force our consciousness into the native constructs, or our pig. It's a spiritual focus, and we're emotionally close to Kev. Logically, that means we might be able to hide ourselves in an extension of his spirit without overwriting him.

Obviously, our long term plan should be to get Han / Graven to resurrect / reboot our body and get us back. Then we never sleep again.

Possess dogmeat.

>>437428
>>Well, bravo, you manage to beat two of my tests at once! The first was to teach you not to believe anything until you have proof.
>Now then, you’re are quite dead.

We have no proof of this beyond his word, and he just proved that his word has no value.

>>The other taught you never give up.
>You can simply possess one of your friends and take over their body instead. Of course, this will kill them in the process, but that is what we are here to learn, right?

We are not going to sacrifice allies, and we are not going to give up on our plans for Lizbeth's future.

There is only one reasonable answer. Lizbeth possesses Lizbeth so we can proceed as normal. Anything else would be giving up something.

Wait wait, I got it.

Create an illusion of yourself. Posses it. Going from android to sentient hologram is sort of a demotion, but only being corporal when you want to be has it's advantages. And you can still talk with your voice spell.

If Ira tries to trap you in this time freeze until you pick a friend to kill? Counter with the illusion of gigantic garden of plants. Growing in real time. I don't think he can stand to watch his own personal hell in time stopped infinity forever.

I can't believe it took so long for me to realize this.

>>437448
Yes, she should possess her own body.

We'll win by doing nothing. Moreover, Lizabeth is a lunarian. Therefore, we'll turn into a Golemancer.

I still want dogmeat's gruesome death, though.

yes try to poesses yourself.

>>437457

>> Moreover, Lizabeth is a lunarian. Therefore, we'll turn into a Golemancer.

Sorry... what?

>>437463
Get with the program!

As long as you're a spirit, take advantage of it by peeking through the door to see if there are any surprises waiting for the group.

Attempt possession of your own body, after checking if it was actually sliced in half. Failing that, try to possess Kevros' sword, and if that doesn't work, try possessing Wrath. ...And if that doesn't work, wait here forever. Even Wrath doesn't have the power to keep time frozen forever.

>>437465
>> keep time frozen forever

I don't think you understand how time works.

Possess the Pizza Elemental!

Don't kill any of our friends just yet. Find an alternative. Even if it means going outside this room.

Also tell Virtue that if he can't self-terminate then Oracle told us something impossible. She said his fate was "sacrifice".

I'm tempted to pick Hans if we can wander around. He's pretty evil, so he's an appropriate sacrifice. Pity he's not a lizard, but perhaps we can get some polymorph action going on.

>>437493

How about we stop telling Virtue what the Oracle managed to tell us, on the faint hope that it might be relevant?

>>437503
If he's done this over and over in multiple timelines, shouldn't he know everything already?

Kaktus 2012/07/30(Mon)09:47 No. 437529 ID: b3ca75
File 134366686550.png - (5.37KB , 550x400 , 90.png )

>peek through the door.
That’s odd, there seems to be only darkness anywhere outside the room.
>Possess Wrath.
You are unable to find him anywhere on your router. The closest you get is someone named Sloth, thought that body is heavily protected by all kinds of security measures so it is a no go.
>Possess dogmeat.
Dogmeat is way too powerful! Clearly, his mind must be as sharp as a spoon drawer!
>Possess the Pizza Elemental!
You’re too late! Dogmeat already finished eating the last one! Oh the pizzanity!

Kaktus 2012/07/30(Mon)09:47 No. 437530 ID: b3ca75
File 134366687512.png - (8.11KB , 550x400 , 91.png )

>check if it was actually sliced in half.
Actually, your body seems completely fine. And it is still breathing! That lying bastard!
>Moreover, Lizabeth is a lunarian. Therefore, we'll turn into a Golemancer.
You are quite clearly an eartharian (is that even a word?), not a lunarian! Do you really think someone rode down on a giant whale just to drop you off? Oh, please…
>Possess Lizbeth.
You possess yourself! Succ- no wait…

Kaktus 2012/07/30(Mon)09:48 No. 437531 ID: b3ca75
File 134366688531.png - (8.73KB , 550x400 , 92.png )

Insert password_

...crap.
WARNING! Major corruption detected! Running diagnostic! MALFUNCTION!
…what?
ERROR! Initiating dream sequence!

Kaktus 2012/07/30(Mon)09:48 No. 437532 ID: b3ca75
File 134366689515.png - (223.16KB , 415x600 , There can only be hans.png )

>Hans, Hans, Hans and Hans.
You are now playing Legend of Hans, Four Hans Adventures: The Hanslander.

Oh noes, our hero Hans has fallen through a dimension thingy-ma-bob and has arrived at a different world! Landing on an almost empty grass field, he soon finds himself in the center of a group of three other Hanses!

>Pose as a team as shit just got real!
You cleverly steal a joke from a much better author!

You are now Red Hans!
Current equipment: Everything!

Insert Hans_

Oh gods, Kev is glowing purple. Did you trip and posses him to death? If you killed him by accident I am never going to forgive myself. Q_Q

>Insert Hans
Okay, obviously the thing to do now is have sex with yourself. Or fight yourself to the death. Or the best of both; have a 4-way orgy / murder.

>>437531
First line: "sloth.exe has stopped working"
Second line: "Running wrath.exe"
Large text: "loadig"

Alright, lets get this dream sequence over with.
Then we'll find a way to punch Wrath in the dick for jerking us around like this.

Go into town and break all the pots. Shank anyone who says otherwise.

Huh, hang on. We don't know who Sloth is. We only know who the other six are.

Wrath: Jacob, now Virtue?
Envy: Alyssa Clown
Gluttony: Freya
Pride: Shadack
Lust: Mustrum
Greed: Davros

Maybe the Oracle is Sloth? It is very close by right now...

>>437533
No, Kev is the one who's glowing red. Kev and Liz are both green lizards so I can see why you'd be confused. We possessed ourselves properly.

>>437532
We're red Hans so the proper thing to do is grab the fire rod and randomly light the other Hanses on fire then run away in a random direction.

Green Hans kill Red Hans before he flips out and roasts you all!

Blue Hans kill Green Hans

> You are now playing Legend of Hans, Four Hans Adventures: The Hanslander.
I LOVE YOU!!

> Current equipment: Everything!
Beat a cucco with the Rope Snake, use Magic Cape, see Green, Blue and Purple Hans dying fabulously, use Great Fairy's Mask and seduce Old Man, mount Sonya and trample all cuccos and Old Man to death, use Shovel to beat Sonya's dead body, play the Song of Time. Repeat ad nauseam / ad infinitum, get Triforce and use its power to become the main character.

Kaktus 2012/07/30(Mon)13:45 No. 437561 ID: b3ca75
File 134368115169.png - (102.93KB , 347x460 , Pimping hans.png )

>have a 4-way orgy.
What a fabulous idea, darling! The only problem is that purple Hans pimp hand is far stronger than mine, ja?

Kaktus 2012/07/30(Mon)13:46 No. 437562 ID: b3ca75
File 134368116201.png - (175.69KB , 564x538 , Smoke, not break!.png )

>Go into town and break all the pots.
Magnificent, ja?

Kaktus 2012/07/30(Mon)13:46 No. 437563 ID: b3ca75
File 134368117462.png - (154.18KB , 340x354 , GanonBanned!.png )

>Shank anyone who says otherwise.
Oh, those kids can run really fast, ja? Especially when you light their fabulous friends on fire.

Kaktus 2012/07/30(Mon)13:46 No. 437564 ID: b3ca75
File 134368119276.png - (198.39KB , 571x321 , PEW PEW!.png )

>Green Hans kill Red Hans before he flips out and roasts you all!
You are unable to control any of the other Hanses, darling.
>proper thing to do is grab the fire rod and randomly light the other Hanses on fire.
>Beat a cucco with the Rope Snake, use Magic Cape, see Green, Blue and Purple Hans dying fabulously.
Why not both, ja?

Hans uses fire rod on cucco for 0 damage!
Cucco goes berserk!

Kaktus 2012/07/30(Mon)13:46 No. 437565 ID: b3ca75
File 134368120517.png - (176.59KB , 570x413 , No chance to survive take your time.png )

Blue hans is dead!
Green Hans is dead!
Purple Hans Uses Pimp slap on Cocco for 69 damage!
Purple Hans is dead!, ja?

Kaktus 2012/07/30(Mon)13:47 No. 437566 ID: b3ca75
File 134368122237.png - (555.60KB , 674x415 , HANS!.png )

Oh noes! There is a whole army of Hans coming and the cuccos has already satisfied their thirst for blood and left!

Insert Hans, ja?_

>>437566
Summon the Han Dynasty to take on the Army of Hans.

Lure them to Gannon's Castle, beat Gannon, break the rainbow bridge, watch the army of Hans being magnificently crushed or beautifully falling into the pit of lava, be sent to the past and create two parallel timelines where everything ends in misery, make out with the moon, use the Fierce Bitches Goddesses's mask, get Triforce and use its power to become the main character pimpiest The Hans. There can be only one.

>>437565
>Insert Hans, ja?_
I can't seem to find any ja?_

summon the Hanzer.

>>437568
Alternatively, see if you can ambush a lone Hans and steal their uniform to disguise yourself as part of the army.

Kaktus 2012/08/04(Sat)23:26 No. 439397 ID: b3ca75
File 134414798844.png - (394.82KB , 512x399 , Dynasty.png )

> Summon the Han Dynasty to take on the Army of Hans.
For Emperor HANS! JA!

Kaktus 2012/08/04(Sat)23:26 No. 439398 ID: b3ca75
File 134414801413.png - (244.83KB , 620x338 , The HANS!.png )

> Become The Hans. There can be only one.
JA! For every Hans that is killed in glorious combat you can feel you power grow! Soon you far exceed the power of the gods themselves! YOU ARE THE ONE! THE WORLD IS YOURS FOR THE TAKING!!!!!

Kaktus 2012/08/04(Sat)23:27 No. 439399 ID: b3ca75
File 134414803036.png - (510.07KB , 500x477 , Hans on his throne.png )

And thus our “hero” HANS! Took over the MARVELOUS world! But even with everyone under his tyrannical thumb, he felt like something was missing…

>Summon the biggest fish!
ja…

Kaktus 2012/08/04(Sat)23:27 No. 439400 ID: b3ca75
File 134414804673.jpg - (35.69KB , 547x522 , Cherry.jpg )

Warning, fish mass exceeds that of normal values! ERROR! The Universe has committed an illegal action and will shut down! All your unsaved date will be lost! Have a nice day.

What in the Schlogenwürst-

Kaktus 2012/08/04(Sat)23:27 No. 439401 ID: b3ca75
File 134414805473.jpg - (31.67KB , 500x346 , Das.jpg )

Game over.

Kaktus 2012/08/04(Sat)23:27 No. 439402 ID: b3ca75
File 134414807027.png - (71.59KB , 289x241 , Kissu Kissu.png )

>make out with the moon
Bonus unlocked!

Yay, this is back.

Reboot. Let's see if you've got a body, Liz.

>>439401
C:
dir/w

>>439402
Perfect.