hi my name is Hooch my favorite things are my big ass tits and kicking ass of my enemies i need to get my dad Lum a present for vilous christmas what can I get him!
A GUN. A HUGE GUN.
booze. really rare booze.
A new wife!
Nudity!
Fondle your breasts then kick the shit out of your enemies. Loot them, maybe they'll have something for your dad.
>>402887
Seconding a new wife
>>402887 it's too late, I already did this one Oh no! I acceidentally kicked my good friend Aracho because all sergals look the same I'm sorry Aracho, i say >It's ok hooch, you have tits bigger than my wife. have you thought about what to get Lum for vilous christmas??
Aracho kiss Hooch
All fathers want grandchildren. Race is immaterial. Have sex with him.
what about a gift that keeps on giving? a blowjob-machine!
no I am not going to have sex with Aracho, i already have a boyfriend
>>402899 and who is that?
>a blowjob machine, of course! that's a Great idea Hooch! >there must be hundreds of those in the ancient technology of vilous. we must go to the ruins, i bet there are some blowjob machines down there!
get a WEPON to fight off any mutants that may be down there.
I don't need a weapon, I kick my enemies! let's ditch these turkeys, i say >yeah, the ruins are in the woods, lets go
oh god who is this bitch >I heard that, you should have used quotation marks you dumb bimbo! god damn it! >i'm Dee Eff See and this is my friend Mr. Dangles What do you want, I say >You can't pass through this forest! I will apprehend you
kick her in the notits while avoiding vinerape
Molest her
Dont get caught by the tentacles. You definitely dont want your big ol titties getting groped by tentacles. Or do you~
yeah, get some that's what you get for not having excellent tits like these I kick her really hard on her titless chest >ow, holy shit I can't breathe you kicked me right in the ribs! won't be hearing from her again for a while!
Ah! this is exactly what I should have watched out for! i am glad I am not wearing an apron!
>>402922 bite the vines
>>402923 Kick it in the eye(s)
Don't struggle as your breasts get groped. They're so great they should be shared with the world. Starting with this guy.
Wait for the right moment to strike, who knows what this creature is capable of!
I bite the tentacle aauugh lakl lakl lakl this tastes like celery it has no effect!
eye kick! i kick right in the eye
Mr. Dangles catches on fire and then explodes won't be hearing from him again for a while wait I already said that, Mr. Dangles is dead
sweet. loot them.
I loot them and gain NIPPLE POLISH >here we are at the ruins, there must be a ton of machines and stuff down there, probably no henchmen
oh sweet there is a blowjob machine there are like five of them down here because of ancient vilous technology "NOT SO FAST HOOCH"
>>402946 apply POLISH to NIPPLES
Polish your nipples
who said that?
Your tits are getting smaller.Must be the tentacles.
>>402947 Purposefully go in slow motion.
It's crazy guy dakaster from the village he has a meth lab or something "Mutha fucka" says Dakaster and takes out a shotgun Help Aracho! I say, but Aracho will not help >Sorry Hooch, but I'm with Dakaster now. you never let me kiss you or rub you big ass tits that are bigger than my wife's sergal tits and it is not fair that traitor!
Flash your big ass tits to stun them, then KICK THEY ASS
put nipple polish on your finger ad move it towards your chest so they think youa re goging to polish them, then when they drop their guard use KICKS
>>402965 This Then actually do polish them, they're probably dirty after plant guy exploded You don't want plant guy's goo on your nipples do you? Do you??? No you don't So polish them
ride blow machine use as battery ram
I am not wasting my polish at a time like this! but that does give me an idea how do you like these tats gentlemen, I say
then I kick him in the face! ow, he bit me!
KICK HIM IN THE OTHER FACE BY WHICH I MEAN HIS PENIS
Use your other foot! Spin if you have to!
you have a second foot!
>>402973 crush him! crush him with your tits!!
i try to kick him with my other foot by I fall down because of Gravity! "Say ya prayers motha fucka" says Dakaster
SHHHNK!
it's my boyfriend Icker! she came to save me!
aww ye! get the blowjob machine up and gift-wrapped and have tons of sex to thank her.
Haha! Vengeance. Time for celebratory kisses.
Polish her nipples in thanks!
>>402993 >>402991 These
I can't do that right now! Icker is left to face her father alone! my good kicking foot is injured, how can i help her!
Distract him!
roll one of the blowjob machines at him!
>>402997 Do so by shoving your tits into his back so he gets pushed into her sword Then do what we suggested before
>distract him that is what I am best at, aside from kicking of course I won third place at kicking I mash my big ass tits together to distract him so that icker can make it to safety!
>"Step aside, Hooch"
Icker kills Aracho and he flies back into a pile of wooden crates Dude you just killed you dad, I say >"Yeah, but whatcha gonna do" Yeah, you're right, i say Now it's time to get the machine back to Lum!
Sloppy makeout session first, then dress up the blowjob machine like a dragon and wheel it to Lum.
>>403009 Oh hell yes
I don't know what a dragon is so i just wrapped it up with a bow and shit and so the long awaited vilous christmas day is here, and the snowy sky overlooks the quiet city and I give dad his gift
>"Hooch is this a blowjob machine, mother of god, this is the stupidest fuckin gift I've ever seen. don't you know i have eight wives, your a disgrace!"
KICK HIM IN THE PENIS
>>403018 give dad your nipple polish instead, sale blowjob machine for bookoo bucks.
Yeah say you got him some nipple polish too.
Kick him in the dick, find a way to use the blowjob machine yourself!
Just kidding, I say, The blowjob machine was just a GAG gift! What I really got you was this swell nipple polish!
>"Thanks, i guess. I didn't get you anything because i don't really like you. your always kicking me and you are a huge disappointment" >"You ruined vilous Christmas Hooch"
finish him "well good thing you aren't my real dad"
KICK CHRISTMAS IN THE PENIS
All of my wat
Develop daddy issues.
Shrug and just use the nipple polish on yourself. In front of your dad.
Have some incest sex with your dad. that will fix everything.
Realize that you are a beautiful girl and you don't need your family also that's not your real dad. Kill your family and go off with your boyfriend to become whores together~
>>403041 >"HNNNNNNGG"
i took that bottle for myself that night after kicking my own father viciously in the groin and you know what? I found more than just nipple polish in that little bottle that night
I found the true meaning of vilous christmas good night everybody!
Huzzah!
What the fuck did I just read.
That was no blowjob machine. It was a motorboat.
good end?
>>403064 Best end.
>>403061 The most canon-accurate Vilous quest ever. Ever.
>>403087 >The most canon-accurate Vilous quest ever. A truly canon quest would have buttfeathers on the Sergals.
>>403277 look again >>402946