Why hello there orb voices! I am Dumy, a bard of some renown among my people. I have come to spread my art to all lesser creatures of the land! One of your kind threw you to me to aid me in my quest. I stored you in my belly for safekeeping. Will you help me?
>>40646 >>40652 Run awaaaaaaay!
Hey, what is this lesser being? >"Ey derphead, git. Yer scarin em customers." Ooh is it a trader? I hear they change things into other things like magic. What should I do, orb voices?
Ask him to change your government into a bigger government!
>>41916 check if its a girl
>>41931 I can't tell. How do you check? >>41927 "I want a bigger government!" >"Tha's crazy talk lad. Bigger governments are inefficient 'cept when it comes to keepin the man down." "A BIGGER GOVERNMENT!" >"Whatever rocks yer boat, pal. But I ain't a politico, go talk to someone in charge. Now if you ain't buin anythin, piss off. Yer scaring me customers an business be bad enuff already."
>>42123 Ask the inferior creature where to locate the correct people to talk to about getting a bigger government.
tell it to come with you to make goverment bigger.
>>42123 >How do you check? You have to check if their insides are gooey.
>>42146 In before... Screw it. WITH YOUR PENIS
If they are hiding water balloons under their shirt, they are female.
This poor creatures ears are broken, they're all sticking straight out. It must be so painful. You should correct it for him.
Best quest or bestest quest? There is a wrong answer.
>>42145 "NO! BIGGER GOVERNMENT!" >"But I-" >>42144 "NO! YOU SHOW ME HOW TO MAKE GOVERNMENT BIGGER!" >>42146 >>42170 >>42173 >>42210 "NOW! OR I MUSHY YOUR INSIDES WITH EARS AND POP YOUR BALLOONS WITH PENIS!" >"All righ' all righ', chaysos croist. It's not like I've sold any o this crap recently." "YEAH! You're now my bestest friend!" >"Nonono, don't start with that." "YAY! COME ON NEW FRIEND!" Where to, orb friends!
>>46673 You must find GOVERNMENT to make it BIGGER. Ask friend where you could make your own BIGGER GOVERNMENT and sally forth.
>>46676 "We must find a government and make it BIG! AT LEAST THIS BIG!" >"I... see. Well to find government you can try the cas'le methinks. Oh and me name is Murderhaunt Spidermaim, what's yours?" "Dumy!" [Murderhaunt joined party! You can now give him suggestions.]
>>46684 Murder rape Dumy
>>46684 MurderHaunt: Run for your fucking life as soon as Dumy's back is turned. Never look back.
>>46684 Go outside the city to look for CASTLE GOVERNMENT.
Murder hug Dumy ... actually... I'll bet you can use this poor misguided creature. manipulate him and use him to get your way. Best stay close to him... yes... he seems manipulatable enough...
>>46698 >>46699 >murderhauntisanindirectpc.png
>Murder rape Dumy >Murder hug Dumy MH: I would but I'm allergic to stupid. >>46704 MH: That's... Actually not a bad idea. Methinks we could pay a little visit to the city trade commission and maybe the tax collectors.
>>46716 Onward, good sir. Pay them a very violent visit with your villainous volunteer's vindictive assistance.
>>46720 MH: Verily. >"Hey Dumy, you wanted to find a small gov'ment to make bigger, righ'? Cuz I know just the place, see. It's not far." "Yaaay! You're the best best friend I ever had!"
Please tell us it isn't in your pants. Dumy: hug new friend.
>>46781 >Dumy: hug new friend. WITH YOUR PENIS
>>46788 NO! No. Just... just use your arms.
>"Ok, see that house there? There's a bad man in there who's mean to people. He'll be dressed in a glittery outfit. He has taken your government. Go and get it back." What should I do orb peoples?
>>52428 CHARGE! TAKE DOWN THE DOOR, IT IS IN YOUR WAY
>>52428 Lick the guard's face to show friendship, then take his weapon.
>>52434 Yes! We must show our affection to the guard. If he knows we are FRIENDS, he will not harm us. But take his weapon too. Because Doobies are better, and deserve more WEPONS.
>>52434 >>52435 OKAY! I'LL GIVE HIM THE SUPER SECRET DOOBIE GREETING! [ACQUIRED FUNNY STICK]
>>52495 Ask the man if he has your government.
>>52534 "Hey do you have my govern-" [animated]
Hmm... poor lesser races... can't even stay awake long enough to answer a simple question. OK, let's head inside. Maybe someone in there knows.
>>52583 Barge in, demanding your GOVERNMENT back!
"I WANT MY GOVERNMENT BACK!!" >"Excuse me?" "YOU HAVE MY GOVERNMENT BECAUSE MURDER SAID SO!" >"... GuardS?"
LOOK AT AT THAT HEAVILY ARMORED DOOR I BET THEY'RE HIDING YOUR GOVERNMENT IN THERE!
>>53191 No, Murder! I know you are mentally inferior but pay attention please. My government, where is it? I like it big.
>>53191 You have taken my GOVERNMENT. I want you to give my GOVERNMENT back to me, you silly inferior creature!
"YOU HAVE MY GOVERNMENT BEHIND DAT DOOR! OPEN IT!" >"GUARDS! GET IN HERE DAMN YOU!" "NO! MURDER STUPID!"
Augh! Stupid yells too loud. Hurts ears. Too stupid to understand words, take it's tongue. It can grow back a new one in a day anyway.
>>53210 Oh look at him, he's all agitated. Give him a BIG DOOBIE HUG. Hopefully it will get through his thick non-doobian skull that you're not here for hostilities.
Wait is this another mating call? A boy human in heat perhaps. Mayby q-tip trick will work on it also. Take it's pants down and insert quill to subdue it's urges.
>"Yer guard's takin a little nap, boyo. So ya best be openin that door, eh?" >"Y-yes. I'll open it for you. ... why are you looking at me like that? Stop looking at me like that." "I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT!"
There! I even put the cloth on just like you said!
Where is government?!
>>53238 Go through the door. For a government.
>"Ok, help me carry this stuff. This'll... get us the government." "OKAY!" [animated] >"GIVE US BACK THE GOVERNMENT!" >"POWER FOR THE PEOPLE!" ~~ CHAPTER ONE END ~~
/r/ a bonus chart with the main characters' IQ levels
>>56917 As you wish.