Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)22:08 No. 37958 ID: c01408
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But to more pressing concerns, I should bring up my own inexperience as to matters of cartographical lexicons.

You see, I thought the lack of a river-spanning bridge on my map was an oversight by the map-maker.
Evidently it was not.

>>37958
No fords visible in either direction?
Anything like a village?
I assume you'd rather not paddle a log across.

FUCK I HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THIS AND GETTING UP EARLY TO SEE MY GIRLFRIEND

Muscio, my good man, certainly mere water cannot stop you? You aren't a vampire or undead, after all...
How good are you at swimming? your body is actually rather hydrodynamic.

How far is the river across? How fast is it flowing?

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)22:14 No. 37965 ID: c01408
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The river is not particularly wide, and yes, in my training as a child of the court I had learned to swim, but these rapids seem potentially dangerous. The current of the river is strong.
And still this is the safest place to cross I have seen within the area I have traveled.

>>37965
any tree long enough behind you?

Could you remind us what exactly you are carrying with you, my good man?

>>37962
Bah! you know you love Finesse more than that other girl anyway.

How fast is this river flowing? Is it too fast for a makeshift boat to struggle across without ending up way downstream?

>>37965
Crap, we should have brought the carpenterbold.

>>37965
It's been awhile since we helped you...er, not that YOU'D notice. Crazy time/space hijinks. Anyway, is there anything in your inventory (besides your sword) that could be used to fell that tree behind you? We shouldn't dull/break our primary weapon.

Search the area for things that can float.

Are these full-on rapids, with rocks and whirlpools and such, or just a fast, choppy current?

>>37965
Maybe we can make a raft? It doesn't matter if we get pushed downstream a bit, as long as we can make it to the other side.

>>37965
Muschio, could you perhaps toss the orb into the air and position yourself so that it falls on your crotch? You see, I have to wake up early tomorrow, and it's the only conceivable way that I can hit you in the nuts.

Anyway, do as the others say; you must find and fell a nearby tree. With what, I'm not sure; show us your inventory.

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)22:30 No. 37976 ID: c01408
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>>37970
>is there anything in your inventory (besides your sword) that could be used to fell that tree behind you?
WHAT tree behind me? What are you talking about?

>>37971
The current is strong but there don't appear to be many outcropping rocks or water-vortexing eddies.

>>37976
Could you show us/describe to us what the area around you looks like? We may be able to find something useful nearby.

And, I repeat, please show us what you are carrying.

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)22:39 No. 37980 ID: c01408
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I'm carrying:
Sword and Shield
Depleted rod of Healing
Jug of Oil
Bite of Rope
Torch
Bread, Cheese, Minotaur's Milk
Potion of Blindness
Potion of Sleep

The surrounding area is...
well, I mean, look at it.
Empty hills.
No trees for a good distance. It may even be a seasonal flood plain. But beyond the river itself, it's mostly dry.

I don't know, I'm no geographer.

If there's nothing around that can float, and seeing how there's no better point to cross visible, and there's (hopefully) nothing in the water that we'll bash our head against or be sucked under by, I vote we just swim across. It doesn't look that broad from here.

>>37980
And this is the safest place...

Hey I wonder if we can like ping our shard.

Well, unless you're going to spontaneously learn how to fly, looks like you're going to have to swim it. No rocks or swirls means you'll be fine. You'll probably come out a good bit downstream of where you get in, but no harm done.

>>37980
It's... well, it's just you're not giving us a whole lot to work with, Muschie.
I bet Finesse would know what to do. Man. We should bring her back a souvenir.

How long is the rope?

>>37980
I say you just swim for it, then. I'm sick of being cautious when advising orb-bearers, anyway.

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)22:46 No. 37990 ID: c01408
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You're right. The waters seem navigable.
It may be a difficult task, but what sort of a man would I be were I not up to adversity?

Time to swim!
Here goes nothing!

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)22:48 No. 37994 ID: c01408
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OH GOODNESS

>>37994
Shit!

Uh, go for the eyes! Punch its snout! Scream like a schoolgirl!

>>37994
JAM YOUR SHIELD IN ITS MOUTH

>>37994
Quick-draw and stab up into the brain!

>>37994
OPEN ARMS WIDE, GRAB TOP AND BOTTOM JAW. NOW NOW NOW.

>>37994
GRAB THAT FUCKER'S TONGUE AND YANK IT OUT, TAKE NO SHIT FROM A RIVER MONSTER.

>>37998
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>37998

D:

>>37998
Well son of a bitch.

Reload to Chapter Seven start checkpoint?

>>37998
Well that was exciting.

House of Romme?

Suggestion 2009/09/03(Thu)22:55 No. 38006 ID: 728150
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>>37998

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)22:56 No. 38007 ID: c01408
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HEY
I'M NOT DEAD

I'M JUST IN A WHOLE LOT OF TROUBLE

>>38007
Back to shore Muschio!

>>38007
Fuck! Swim, kick, anything!

Just get to the closest shore!

>>38007
Grab the lure sprouting from its head and tug. The nerves in it are pretty sensitive.

Use the moment of distraction to draw your sword and stick it in an eye.

Go ahead and pick which eye to stab it in, I defer to your judgment there.

It's designed for swimming, so trying to outrun him won't work. And it's enormous, so trying to kill it probably won't work...

I don't suppose you could hurl the orb to shore before you expire?

Uh ...I guess try stabbing it in the mouth with your sword.

>>38011
RIDE CRAZYFISH LIKE A MECHANICAL BULL

USE LURE THINGY TO STEER.

THIS CANNOT GO WRONG!

I suggest uh finding the neareast piece of land getting on it

>>38007
JAM YOUR SHIELD IN ITS MOUTH

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)23:03 No. 38017 ID: c01408
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>>38010
>Grab the lure sprouting from its head and tug
CRAP CRAP CRAP

>>38017
Hold on to that lure, damn it!

Try to kick its eyes!

>>38017
Lift your legs! If you can avoid the bite, drop down and wrap your arms around its jaw. If you can keep it from opening its mouth it can't hurt you!

...Good luck with that first dodge though.

>>38017
USE SHEILD TO HOLD ITS MOUTH IN PLACE AND THEN JUMP ON ITS BACK

I think those lures are meant to attract prey.

So jumping on it probably wasn't the best plan.

Get that sword out and start sticking it into whatever fish parts you can manage amidst all the splashing and thrashing.

>>38017
From this position, you can either try and drop the potion of sleep down into its mouth or - if you're feeling daring - flip onto its back and ride it to the other side of the river.

You don't really look like you're feeling very daring, Muschio.

Try kicking it in the teeth. If possible, try swinging around onto its head; it can't bite its own mouth. Well, not unless it has a second head somewhere anyway.

THROW THE POTION OF SLEEP DOWN ITS THROAT!

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)23:11 No. 38027 ID: c01408
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CRAP

>>38027
POTION OF SLEEEEEP

RIDE IT!

JUMP ON THE HYRDRA'S BACK

>>38027
If you can manage it, toss the potion of sleep down its throat!

If not, just try to get away and onto dry land! (A hit to the eyes/gills would help in this case)

>>38027
>CRAP
No, it's carp. CARP.

Get that sword out and stab it in the eye. Expect it to turn that shield into splinters any moment.

>>38036
MUUUUUUUUSCHIIIIOOOOOOOOOOO!

HE'S TRYING TO EAT YOU QUICK EAT HIM BACK!

It is now a matter of perseverance.

Can you push past the panic and focus, using the one breath in your lungs to keep you going as you kill the beast?

I believe you can. Your willpower is outstanding. Remember your mantras, and know that no amount of pain can best you.

Now you just need to hold your breath longer than it. And fish don't have lungs, which means they can't actually hold their breaths.

THE DAY IS YOURS!

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)23:23 No. 38045 ID: c01408
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PPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

>>38045
IF YOU WEREN'T SCREAMING IN ABSOLUTE TERROR, YOU'D BE TOTALLY BADASS!

FUCK YEAH MUSCHIO!
I knew the fish would have to come up for air first!

>>38045
Jesus Christ, he's riding it like a mechanical bull!

Keep going, Muschio, to land!

Crash it into the opposite bank.

Yell "MUSCHIOOOOO!"

>>38045
Good job boss! I knew we could count on you! Turn that fish towards the tower, boss!

>>38045
STEER FOR THE SHORE

>>38046
Screaming? He's gasping for breath you moron. The boss don't scream.

DO NOT LET GO
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO EITHER STAB THE BEAST IN ITS SOFT VULNERABLE EYES OR BREAK THE SLEEPING POTION DIRECTLY INTO IT'S MOUTH
THIS IS OF COURSE ONLY IF YOU CAN'T JUST CRASH THE THING INTO THE OPPOSITE BANK

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)23:31 No. 38057 ID: c01408
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>WHUMP

>>38058
... hey. You alive?
Boss?

>>38059
Let him gather his thoughts.

Er.


Let him remember he's still alive.

>>38058
*ahem*

Well, we handled that remarkably well. Compose yourself and keep moving, then.

>>38058
GodDAMN. You are awesome.

You uh... might wanna back away from the water now, though.
We don't know how for out of the water that thing can lunge.

Thank your fishy friend for getting you across the river.

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)23:35 No. 38064 ID: c01408
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>>38059

That was GREAT, boss!

So... how you gonna get back?

I'm sure you're looking forward to the return trip

>>38066
Note: Remember to gather sufficient river-crossing materials in the tower for the return trip.

And, Muschio, would you please get up and compose yourself? What if someone saw you like this?

Now that the easy parts over, lets sneak inside that tower.

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)23:40 No. 38069 ID: c01408
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After a brief hike and a moment spent re-dressing myself, I arrive at the base of Olber's Tower, though the master for whom it was named is long-since gone.
I wonder who occupies it now.

I should note I lost my shield and rope in my confrontation with the aquatic beast.

>>38069
Ringading ding! Let's see who is home.

>>38069
See if those vines are climbable. We'd like to get in undetected, if at all possible.

>>38069
I would advise taking a moment to try and dry yourself and your garments as best you can. Being wet is not particularly conducive to stealth, what with wet footprints and dripping everywhere.

>>38069
You're cute with your hair down~

>I should note I lost my shield and rope in my confrontation with the aquatic beast.
>lost ... rope
FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
DOOMED! WE ARE DOOMED!
Rope is the TOWEL of adventuring supplies! We could have done anything with that rope!
I suppose we'll just have to make do but... make a note of obtaining more later.

>>38069
> lost my shield and rope
> lost my shield
Well we'll just have to start DUAL WIELDING.
... we left the dagger back at home, didn't we.

Muschio 2009/09/03(Thu)23:56 No. 38080 ID: c01408
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This is a conundrum indeed.

Should I ring the bell, expecting a warm reception?
Or risk the crawling ivies and try climbing into a window atop a higher level of the tower?

>>38069
Try to cut a piece of vine, if it is sufficiently rope-like.

However, it looks like we'll have to procure another shield with a large M on it later.

Climb the ropes.

>>38080
You're unlikely to receive anything resembling a warm reception here. Use the vines.

>>38080
Climb. Disregard my earlier vine-cutting comment, at least until we no longer need the vines.

who puts a doorbell if they're not expecting guests or deliveries.

>>38080
Hmm, well... we're not here to visit.
Alerting the denizens of the tower to our presence would just make claiming our prize harder.
It's time for some tactical stealth action!
Up the vines!

Muschio 2009/09/04(Fri)00:10 No. 38092 ID: c01408
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Very well, I shall make the element of surprise my ally.

I see a window a few levels up. I shall attempt to ascend the clinging vines until I have reached it, for they do not rise much higher.

>>38080

No, first go around the tower and see if there's a backdoor.

>>38094
...that's probably a good idea. Slowly climb back down and check. You know you will want to kick yourself if you find out such a door existed after the fact.

>>38096
>>38094
A back door would be no less defended than the front door. A window, on the other hand, should be entirely undefended.

Muschio 2009/09/04(Fri)00:20 No. 38099 ID: c01408
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I reach the window without much incident, though this ivy does not appear to be built for this climbing. It's already peeling away from the tower. I don't think I should use it much more.
Regardless, this is as high as it goes. The only open window I can find.

It appears this is my stop.

>>38099
I... just... What!?

...okay, it doesn't look like you're getting through this window quietly, so you may want to consider climbing back down and ringing the doorbell.

Alternatively, wait for the... erm, creature to leave the room.

>>38099
The window is too small to quickly go through... The spears are to far away to reach... And there's a Nedynvor there. Hmm, seems like a tough spot. See if you can't figure out what the nedynvor is doing.

>>38099
>Those hands
>those feet
>that crest
!!!!

>>38099
1) Do you recognize the species of that thing sitting in the room?
2) That window looks kind of small, you think you could squeeze through it?
3) I don't see a way down in that room, so however that thing moves in and out must be above. If the window is too small, climb to the roof.

Muschio 2009/09/04(Fri)00:28 No. 38104 ID: c01408
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I can't go back down. The ivies won't hold my descent without dropping me.

The Nedynvor appears to be playing a solitary card game.

>>38104
Well, there's nothing for it. Enter through the window. Try to look REALLY DASHING as you do it, with a warm greeting, like you totally planned this and there's nothing wrong with you coming in through the window.
Attempt to discern Nedynvor's gender. It may effect how we play through this encounter.

>>38104
Try to slip in and get past him silently.

>>38106
This. Offer to play a card game while you're at it.

In any case, try not to act threatening. I believe this Nedynvor and his sword feet could come in handy.

>>38106
This, except that don't care about it's gender.

You're fucking awesome at cards, and the gaurd looks bored as fuck. One plus one, Muscio.

>>38104

Throw a sword through his face.

Muschio 2009/09/04(Fri)00:53 No. 38114 ID: c01408
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I've never seen a crest QUITE like that one, but it's enough to tell the guard is female.
I act on a hunch from its bored posture.
Please let this work.

"Solitaire's only fun for so long. Need a second?"

>>38114
THERE IS NO WAY THIS CAN GO WRONG

>>38114
1) Acquire Nedynvor lover
2) Threeway with Finesse
3) ???
4) Profit

Muschio 2009/09/09(Wed)22:21 No. 40896 ID: c01408
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Hm?
Oh, there you are. You sort of tuned out on me for a moment.

>>40896

I take it the game's going well?

>>40896
oh man you wont believe the weird dreams we had, seemed like we were in a dozen places at once...

Are you playing strip poker or is it just really hot?

>>40896
...Boss... Why are you losing.

Muschio 2009/09/09(Wed)22:29 No. 40905 ID: c01408
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>>40897
The game's going as well as could be hoped.
I was considering cheating, but you weren't available. It's not important anyway, since I'm not playing to win. Just a friendly game.

Have you learned anything from banter so far? Gotten a name? Is this person a simple guard here, or in fact she who commands this tower?

So who's your new friend here?

>>40905
Well good job. You made a friend! What's her name anyhow?

>>40905
Hmm. What is that thing behind you, Boss?

Muschio 2009/09/09(Wed)22:44 No. 40921 ID: c01408
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She isn't a very talkative one, but that's fine by me. Still, she said enough to tell me her name.

Now what was it again...?

>>40921
Emed

>>40921
Ashedel

>>40921
I believe it was Eltsina.

Dema!

Ketamari

>>40929
Seconding Willow.

Gypsy

Muschio 2009/09/09(Wed)22:52 No. 40936 ID: c01408
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That's right. Her name is ASH!

...well technically it's Ashedel, but she prefers Ash for short.

Strike up some conversation.

Be as wordy as possible, and do so in a deadpan monotone. Then abruptly smile and laugh.

If my bet is right, Ash will find it amusing, and you will make her more likely to be positively inclined towards any requests you make in the future.

Well that's nice... Did you find anything out about why you came here in the first place?

>>40940
Shh, don't ruin this!

>>40936
Go ahead and find out more about our new friend. What's Ash doing here?

Muschio 2009/09/09(Wed)23:09 No. 40945 ID: c01408
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I have learned a few things from Ash. She's a hired hand in this tower, mostly labor and resource management but she has had to step in for security once in a while. Normally her job is boring, which is why I was able to trade a game of cards for passage through without her assaulting me.

Evidently she feels no real loyalty to the current master of this tower -- or mistress, I should say.
A woman who Ash only refers to ass "Miss Syrup".

>>40945
>Miss Syrup
Fuck we just walked right into Candy Land. Go for Double Orange, Muschie, there are no bad Orange squares.

"Syrup? That's an odd name. I must know more."

>>40945
Miss Syrup?
...She's not a captain or anything, is she?

Muschio 2009/09/09(Wed)23:22 No. 40954 ID: c01408
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Over the cards, Ash disinterestedly tells me that Miss Syrup doesn't often meet with her hirelings, instead communicating to them by proxy of her Commander.
Exactly what Miss Syrup is planning, why she's commandeered this strategic tower, and what she's capable of Ash doesn't know or care to guess. But she does mention that her boss is a very intelligent woman.

>>40954
Well good to know. Who else lives in this tower anyway?

Also good job on that last round boss.

Speaking of intelligent, you should probably start winning more to draw this out.

Muschio 2009/09/09(Wed)23:41 No. 40968 ID: c01408
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Perhaps I did lose the last round -- but like I said, I'm not here to win. I'm just here to get past the guard and learn what I can about the person I'm about to nab a Mannikin from.

Apparently the tower is largely unmanned right now, other than Ash, Miss Syrup, and the Commander, who recently returned from some mission.
The tower is staffed by Odds, mostly for maintenance and construction however. Odds do not make good fighters.

>>40968
Are... you playing strip poker?

...

I highly encourage this.

Also, find out what she's in the job for. A stable paycheck? Obviously she's not very loyal to her current master. Perhaps she could be persuaded~

>>40968
Odds?

Ask her where in the world they'd get Odds. A monster portal or somesuch?

Well, let's see.. We should play through. Afterward, we should whip out our sword at Ash's neck before she has time to respond, and say something along the lines of "That was a good game. It would be a shame to have to kill you. Perhaps you would be interested in a change of employment?"

And then your GAR increases.

>>40974
No, that just increases your dickery.
Minions who've joined willingly are more loyal. We should persuade her to join with chivalry and offers of non-boredom. She can be our Guard Captain. As soon as we get some damn guards.
And if that doesn't work, flex your pecs!

>>40972
This comes before my suggestion, naturally. I'm simply planning ahead.

>>40977
While I agree that your ideal situation would be ideal, I'm loath to attempt to convert an enemy without having a sever advantage over her. Generally speaking, if combat is potentially possible, being ready to win easily is a good thing.

"If you're so bored with your job, why don't you just quit? I know a guy with a fresh startup dungeon."

>>40972
We already know odds come from a monster portal. That's the whole reason why we're here. To get the mannikin.

>>40968
Y'know... I think she's looking at you kinda funny, Boss.

>>40983
Playing dumb can be a good way to dig for info, brah.

>>40983
I know that we know about the monster portal, but getting her to confirm its here, and maybe let slip where it is, is also a priority.

>>40987
You do realize that the mannikin isn't necessarily near the gate, right?

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)00:02 No. 40991 ID: c01408
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Ash says she's mostly here because it provides a stable paycheck and an easy way of life. It gets her by without much trouble.

I have to consider if I WANT to hire someone like Ash. Should I really be hiring people who will let intruders by for a game of cards?
Surely it's a quality I can appreciate when I'm the one trying to get past them, but were she under my employ I don't believe I'd look on this shirking of duty in a favorable light.

True. Plus you just met and she's already got her tits out.

Still, it would make a good way to let us properly enter the area unmolested, wouldn't it?

We got to pick her name, so clearly she's supposed to join us.

A less meta point: We know this flaw. And we currently lack anyone to play cards with. Besides, it's not like we can't backstab her after we get the mannikin and get out safely.

>>40991
It's kinda like the girl who tries to pull men away from other girls: Would she really want a guy that unfaithful?

Ahem.
At any rate, finish up this last set and move on. You're right: You want diligent minions, not silly girls who let you by with a game of cards.

Despite how cute they may be.

>>40991
Did... Did you just win her top? Well played, Boss.

And that is a good point. While she may be... impressive... in her figure, she seems a lax guard. We can do better with a nice ogre or something.

Anyway, lets change the betting. If she doesn't want to completely strip, she can tell you where the Odds mannikin is.

well clearly we wouldnt hire her as a guard.

>>40993
But what if Muschio doesn't want to go unmolested~

>>41000
If not as a guard, then as what? What other skills does Ash possess that could be useful, boss?

You've only gotten TO her to be fair, not past her

>>40991
Well then. What does she do aside from guard duty?

Is there anything she'd rather be doing? We have a lot of open positions to be filled in our up-and-coming empire of evil.

>>40997
If it's just for a quick fuck, then sure.

>>40999
I think she's probably cool with stripping completely.

Anyways: RECRUIT HER. We can always kill her later, goddamn. If she doesn't want to be recruited, and doesn't seem likely to stay out of our way and avoid sounding the alarm, then we can kill her after the failed recruit attempt.

>>40991

Do note that shes doing this because SHE IS BORED. If she comes with us we can find something to occupy her time. Plus she can fly, a very useful skill.

How good of card players are bolds?

>>40991
I'm sure there's SOMETHING we could have her do. We don't have a lot of minions right now. We could do with all the help we can get.
Even if we're evil, there's no reason we can't make friends.
So if she can't be a guard, she could... direct the Odds? Tally inventory? Cook? Clean?
... boost morale?

She is not primarily a guard, she is labor and resource management. And she is doing a lousy job guarding because she has a mind numbingly boring job for an employer who she doesn't care about and never sees. Sounds like a McJob to me. It wouldn't be that hard to inspire more loyalty than this.

>>41006
Flying! That's a great ability!
She can be, like... our sidekick. She'll accompany us on adventures. We may never have to SWIM A RAGING RIVER RAPIDS again, depending on how much she can carry. Or if that's too much, at the very least she can be a scout. You know, keeping an eye on the area around the base.

>>41008
Of course, labor and resource management are also good. We'll want someone to look after the Odds. Finesse should have her hands full inventing, anyway.

Strip Poker?

Time to cheat.

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)00:25 No. 41013 ID: c01408
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The game is over. There is no more time for further questions.

I quietly contemplate hiring Ash.
She proceeds to tell me this has all just been a ploy to get me to lower my defenses, and that she simply didn't expect me to be so good at cards.

>>41013

Well we have her at a disadvantage now don't we?

>>41013
She is no match for our mighty BOXERS.

Ask her to explain herself.

>>41013
Hand on shoulder.
Reassuring smile in place.
Ask her if she'd be willing to take a job at our new place. We have a bunch of minions with no manager. Interested?

>>41013
Well, FUCK.

Well played, Ash, well played.

Offer her employment.

"In that case, perhaps I have a job for you after all. As an alternative to killing you, that is."

Also, make a dive for the weapons rack to get a spear.

Assume the captain morgan stance and proudly proclaim yourself as lord cardsmaster muschio.

>>41017
>>41018
>>41019
Should probably make sure she wasn't lying about being bored as hell at this job, about Syrup, and the like.
If she wasn't lying, the boss won't have to change recruitment tactics very much. Assuming he's decided she's worth recruiting, that is.

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)00:37 No. 41025 ID: c01408
File 125256822144.gif - (15.03KB , 800x600 , 384.gif )

I tell Ash that while I am impressed by her hidden intentions, her lack of forethought is less remarkable.
The game has stripped us BOTH of weapons, and turned her as defenseless as me -- perhaps moreso.

[animated]

get ready to upend the table if she says no.

>>41025
FUCK SWORDLEGS
FUCKFUCKFUCK GET YOUR FUCKING SWORD

AAAAAAAH

>>41025
AHAHAHA. Yes.

Okay, right. Bit of distance from those swordfeet, Boss. Now would be a good time to tell her that we're impressed with her skills and have a possible employment offer.

She'll be unable to advance rapidly with her leg raised like that, and in this enclosed space she'll be unable to use her flight to any real effect. Spring back and go for a weapon.

>>41025
Retort with your own all-natural sword. You know what I mean.

>>41025
Time for reflexes, Muschio. Quickly bat the sword foot aside. Since she is either sitting or on one foot right now, this should throw off her balance. Take this moment to tackle her. She can't stab you if you are on top of her!

GRAB IT! Shes only standing on one leg right now. We will have her right where we want her.

>>41031
NO.

>>41029
Indeed, attempt to employ me- I mean, her. Do try to get your hand firmly on a weapon though, just in case.

Laugh. Say that's really quite impressive. Continue making small talk as if nothing had happened. That'll put her offguard a bit and give you time to react properly.

>>41025
...Now would be a good time to catch her off guard with a job offer.
Grab for your sword while she's distracted, but make sure she knows you're sincere about offering her a job.

>>41033
>GRAB IT
>Grab *sword*leg with bare hands
Nothing can go wrong, right?

"I see the curtains match the drapes."

Kick the table at her so she tips over. She's balanced on the tip of a sword now.

Suggestion 2009/09/10(Thu)00:46 No. 41044 ID: b94893
File 125256876872.jpg - (16.43KB , 320x240 , facepalm wayne.jpg )

>>41042
WHAT drapes?

>>41042
Nedynvor have Pubic Crests, apparently. She may be sensitive about her unusual crests, you know.

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)00:53 No. 41048 ID: c01408
File 125256921457.gif - (9.52KB , 800x600 , 385.gif )

Ha-HA!
A true gentleman knows the first rule of any strip card game: Never throw your sword farther from the table than you can reach!

>>41046
Have you had a lot of card games where that was necessary? How often, exactly, have you played stripping games with your enemies?

Also, tell her you're impressed, make job offer.

Now that her, uh, sword... legs are on your regular sword, push upwards with both hands so she tips completely over. Her lack of breast support will make this even more disorienting for her.

>>41048
Um... is she on her back now, or...?

Anyway, I'm still up for the job offering thing, Boss. Especially since she's proven to be less inept than you originally thought.

Good foresight on the sword thing, though.

Look how slender those legs are! And they neither curve nor taper! Try snapping them. Should be easier than bone by a long shot.

Flip her over the chair by using your sword to push her legs up.

Be prepared to inform Ash that you are not actually left handed.

Suggestion 2009/09/10(Thu)01:02 No. 41058 ID: 8e18cd
File 125256974452.jpg - (21.73KB , 600x600 , DemesiDespleasure.jpg )

This is coming dangerously close to a rape scenario. Given she's on her back with her legs raised high.

>>41048
We're going to have to defeat her before she'll seriously consider a job offer. After all, no self respecting goon would defect right as they think they're going to win!
Try flipping the table at her! Failing that, we'll need to drive her back. Something to knock her off balance!

Suggestion 2009/09/10(Thu)01:03 No. 41060 ID: 7eda8b
File 125256983327.jpg - (65.03KB , 328x250 , fireworks_factory.jpg )

>>41058

>>41057
He's ambidextrous. Somebody said approximately the same thing when we fought Red Fang.

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)01:10 No. 41063 ID: c01408
File 12525702199.gif - (10.03KB , 800x600 , 386.gif )

You're right! Time to deflect and send my foe off-balance. Put some shoulder into it!

>>41063
You can probably put your hand against the flat of your blade to provide additional leverage.

If you succeed in making her tumble end over end, take advantage of it immediately to subdue her in a vulnerable position.

Step forward, around the area she can easily reach with her footblades. Put your blade to her throat. Grin. Offer her a job.

Now rape her to assert dominance.

>>41066
That's completely uncalled for! We're trying to be a classy villain, here, not some two-bit thug.

>>41066
There will be no end to your torment.

Ignore the stupid voice, boss. You're doing fine. Establish our classy abilities, offer her a job. We could use skill like hers, and hey, she even has her own weapons.

Cruxador 2009/09/10(Thu)01:21 No. 41069 ID: efa41b
File 125257086546.jpg - (109.77KB , 750x600 , BORED.jpg )

>>41067
>classy
You know...
A throne surrounded by naked women is pretty classy.

"...do you really want to die for someone you said you didn't care for? Or was that just part of your ruse?"

>>41070
She's made no attempts to die thus far. She had no idea of our rather considerable combat abilities. She was just doing what's she's paid for.

>>41067
>That's completely uncalled for! We're trying to be a classy villain, here, not some two-bit thug.

...rape her while wearing a top hat?

Boss, You've got one hell of an opportunity here.

Take it.

Take her.

kick the table over then pin her under it.

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)01:35 No. 41076 ID: 44ece7
File 125257171413.gif - (7.66KB , 800x600 , 387.gif )

And now, the COUP DE GRÂCE!

CUT OFF HER VAGINA

and then retrieve your pupils. You might need those some time.

>>41067

Classy villians rape women, and then get them to fall in love with them regardless.

DO IT BOSS. TEACH HER TO FEAR THE NAME MUSCHIO MALTO!

Blood for the blood god!

...she's not on her period, so this will have to do. Also, skulls for the skull throne!

RIGHT DOWN THE CENTER!

>>41076
... stop just inches from her throat. Then offer her the job.
If she refuses, well~

>>41076
... offer her a job?

Normally, I'd be all for a spot of rape in the morning, but this time I've got to say I disagree.

I say prove superiority through combat prowess (or get lucky, whichever works) and offer a somewhat more exciting job working for Muschio.

Besides, she's got to be somewhat uncomfortable, that room must be rather drafty.

I'm shocked at all the rape suggestions. What would Finesse think if at some point Muschio's tale of what happened included 'And then I raped the Nedynvoir lass at swordpoint, barely keeping her swordlegs at bay' in it?

>>41081
What he said.

>>41084
It should be fine. Clearly she's attracted to a bad boy~

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)01:55 No. 41089 ID: 44ece7
File 125257292952.gif - (3.55KB , 800x600 , 388.gif )

I suppose, in retrospect, Ash had been a much more formidable foe than I had originally considered.

...but no longer.

Bummer.

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)01:59 No. 41091 ID: 44ece7
File 125257314725.gif - (10.00KB , 800x600 , 389.gif )

After all, I believe she'll make a much more formidable ally.

We share a smoke. In a minute I'll need to gather my things and head up to face the tower's boss.

Oh you.

>>41091
way to go Boss!

>>41091
...*golf clap.*

>>41091
Tsk. Oh Muschie. :)

<3

Diplomacy at its finest.

>>41091
Aw yeah muschie's still got it.

Finesse isn't going to like this.

>>41102
Think she's going to find out?

>>41104
She has a shard of us, albeit small.
And we have a hard time with not blurting out things.

>>41102
She may be sad, yeah. Especially if she mistakes our spontaneous sex with some random slut for actual affection. To make it up to her, we'll have to show her some actual affection.

>>41191
>genuine affection
Like... hot dickins?

>>41191
>spontaneous sex with some random slut

Well *I* like her at least.

>>41216
Sure, so do I. But she just fucked the first random stranger to come through her window and play cards with her. She's definitely a bit more promiscuous than the average person. And the sex was definitely spontaneous. One moment we're besting her in combat, the next, we fucked her.

... Come to think of it, that sex was pretty quick, too.

>>41228
>quick

It might just be the reception on this thing. We have been going in and out quite a bit lately. Might want to call the orb repair man.

Besides, who WOULDN'T want to have a go at Master Muschio. He is a dashing rogue after all, and if your options are only a matter of which sword you get stabbed with, it seems like an easy choice.

>>41102

"...so then we played strip poker and then after I won she attacked me with her sword legs and then I attacked her my sword and then we both smoked some pot."

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)21:04 No. 41524 ID: 12bd87
File 125264186183.gif - (9.65KB , 800x600 , 390.gif )

I gather my belongings, get dressed, and with Ash's key, proceed up the tower. It's not far to the top and I'll have no locked doors in the way.

On opening the trapdoor to the next floor, I observe a thick, low-hanging smoke, evidently produced by some manner of censer hanging from the ceiling far above. The smell is sweet and thick, and though an acrid taste lingers, it does not seem poisonous.

Examine area for danger via reflection of your sword.

>>41524
Well, Boss, if it's safe, I'd head up.

>>41524
...That can be misleading. It could be a slow acting narcotic, or a variety of other things. Try your best to not breathe in too much of it, just to be safe.

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)21:20 No. 41551 ID: 12bd87
File 125264285284.gif - (12.54KB , 800x600 , 391.gif )

This sword is filthy, scratched, and unpolished! I can't make out anything!

Wrap a cloth around your mouth and nose to avoid any chance of poison.

Take better care of your weapons muschio, damn.

>>41551
You have cloth, otherwise you would be naked.

Try to buff it enough you can at least see something.

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)21:40 No. 41591 ID: 12bd87
File 125264402133.gif - (17.59KB , 800x600 , 392.gif )

All right, after a quick shine I think I can see a LITTLE of the room above.
There's something that looks like a chest or a dresser in the middle of the room, but otherwise it seems to be clear. I can't be sure though. There's a lot of smoke and it's not helping the problem.

>>41591
Go up. Go for eet.

>>41591
Go up. Go for eet.

Well, I don't see any baddies. So might as well head on up.

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)22:05 No. 41645 ID: 12bd87
File 125264550577.gif - (11.81KB , 800x600 , 393.gif )

I ascend to the next level.

...it appears this room is occupied after all.

The guard takes a moment, but finally notices my presence.

>>41649
>>41649
Kill it brutally and effieciently, as is your style. It's unarmed and, appaerently, drugged.

>>41649
Man, what is this? The tower of naked times?

Muschio, how do you feel about laying this dude like you stuck it to the birdchick in the other room?

Anyway, just try to convince him to let you through. He seems a bit off his game anyway.

Eh. Just kill him.

>>41649
Oh my god, it's adorable.

Don't kill it, Muschie. Um. Pat it on the head and move on. :<

>>41667
oh god if Muschio gets up the whole damn tower and gets the mannikin via sex I will laugh my ass off.

>>41669
Then Finesse will wonder why all we got was love mana

>>41649

Put your sword to its throat.

Watch out. It's probably got a third eye. Ask him if he's smoking up AGAIN. Act like you know him and that you belong there.

>>41671
>put your 'sword' in its 'throat'

Fixed that for you~

"Jesus christ where did your clothes go?"

She's like some sort of bastardized version of Ruby. Hell, she's even flat as a board.

Anyway, Muschio, I recommend you simply ask her who she is; she's unarmed, and, apparently, drugged in some way. She shouldn't pose much of a threat, as long as you make sure she doesn't go for a weapon.

Keep your sword out but kind of relaxed in posture, like you've forgotten you're holding it, even though it's still actually in your hand.

"So who are you?"

Why is this place so full of heavy naked women, anyway?

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)22:27 No. 41699 ID: 12bd87
File 125264679275.gif - (82.87KB , 800x600 , 394.gif )

[I swear it's fixed this time]

"Panty inspector. What, you don't have any? Wow are you in trouble."

HOORAY DRUGS

That aside, don't attack him, and don't say anything. He should start babbling on his own, and he should say something you can use against him in his panicked state.

He or she.
(I can't tell if those are shirt ruffles or itty bitty rabbit titties.)

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)22:34 No. 41710 ID: 12bd87
File 125264729099.gif - (11.84KB , 800x600 , 395.gif )

...the guard is obviously female. Perhaps the smoke is confusing me.

I draw my sword in case hostilities commence.
The guard and I stare tensely at each other. She doesn't babble. In fact, she doesn't say anything.
Why she had her shirt off is beyond me.

Muschio 2009/09/10(Thu)22:36 No. 41712 ID: 12bd87
File 125264738658.gif - (11.83KB , 800x600 , 396.gif )

Finally, she speaks up.

>"I didn't see nothin' if you didn't see nothin'."

She doesn't seem to have any weapons. Just raise your empty hand and say "Yo" casually.

"Word"

>>41712
"Righto." and walk around her, making your way up.

Jesus, this is easy.

>>41712
....Fine

"As you wish. Good day, fair lady."

>>41712
NICE TITS BABY

I am kidding. Just nod and head on up, Muschio.

>>41710
Glance down at sword.
"I'm not here to kill you. Not unless you attack me, first, anyway.
If you want to put your shirt back on before we continue, be my guest."

How's that sound, boss?