Trout 2011/12/30(Fri)18:38 No. 376338 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132529910573.png - (65.37KB , 500x500 , sh109.png )

>"Well, without a means of transportation, there is no chance in Heaven that we can complete this mission."
>"Roight, we might as well be crawlin' th' whole way to th' fuel depot."
>"Perhaps we COULD walk to that proceeding village down the road?"
>"It'd probably take'uh few hours, but it's either that or wait here 'till some more Krauts walk by lookin fer their mates."
>"Holy CRAP, guys, look at all this! There's gotta be a few hundred bottles of this stuff in here!"
>"Yeah, yeah, this is a bar, yeh yank. It shouldn't be much of a surprise."
>"Fuck you too, koala. I am totally taking a few of these with me."
>"...either way, we're going to have to obtain a vehicle from somewhere, THANKS TO THE DAMNED RUSKIE."
>"Fuckin' Russian."
>"Goddamn commie."

Trout 2011/12/30(Fri)18:39 No. 376339 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132529914081.png - (39.79KB , 500x500 , sh110.png )

Здравствуйте еще раз, comrades! We are still in bar! After Nazi bunkhouse was burned down, bartender let me have all of bar in exchange for jeep! According to allies, we needed jeep, so maybe was not good idea! Now we are being stuck in small village!
...I am also needing to find a way to take more vodka!

Craft bar into alcohol-powered mech.

And by alcohol powered I'm sure you mean hoviet on a treadmill chasing a bottle hanging on a rope, right?

>>376339
From the map, it looks like you're within easy walking distance of a German base. A German base with a wide variety of vehicles, including armored personnel carriers. The solution should be obvious.

>Kill bartender
>Acquire bar and jeep

>>376378
He already left.

Sero: loot burnt down bunkhouse and use their helmets as baskets to carry vodka.

>>376349
Excellent proposition comrade!

Wait in ambush for the next German patrol and make with the redistribution of the wealth.

>>376339
Head to nearest german base to redistribute their wealth of trucks to the needy masses. But before we do that we need to get roaring drunk and pass out.

>>376474
Better idea: Head to German base and redistribute their organs to the needy masses.

>>376349
Yeah, we should totally sneak into the base, steal the vehicles, and then surprise-attack that same base with those vehicles!

IF YOU DO NOT LOOT A STUG YOU ARE FASCIST.

I'M AN EXPERT AT LOOTING STUGS, SO YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.

Trout 2011/12/31(Sat)23:03 No. 376710 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132540141491.png - (39.16KB , 500x500 , sh111.png )

>Craft bar into alcohol-powered mech.
What is "mech"?

>From the map, it looks like you're within easy walking distance of a German base.
Нет, base on map is final objective! And is over hundred miles away! Cannot walk there!

>loot burnt down bunkhouse and use their helmets as baskets to carry vodka.
Bunkhouse is ash! Nothing is being left!

>Head to nearest german base to redistribute their wealth of trucks to the needy masses.
Nearest Nazi base is objective! I am guessing no Nazi is wanting to stay long in Russia!

>IF YOU DO NOT LOOT A STUG YOU ARE FASCIST.
I will keep eye out!

>Wait in ambush for the next German patrol and make with the redistribution of the wealth.
This is maybe best plan, but next patrol may not be for many hours or even days! Maybe is just more time for preparing! I could be finding something to do in meantime, but man with large hat says that "time is critical"!

>>376710

Your entire combat strategy should consist of molotovs. Thousands of molotovs.

>>376710
Make firing positions by the road entrances and bunker down.

Buy some horses with your vodka.

>>376710
Go and look for some horses, possibly with a cart that you can put a HMG on. It will probably be more stealthy to approach on horseback.

Wilson: Get lost and arrive in Australia.

ONE HUNDRED MILLION MOLOTOVS

>>376765
Better yet, get lost while searching for water, and end up in South East Asia.

Trout 2012/01/04(Wed)20:59 No. 377627 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132573954811.png - (33.05KB , 500x500 , sh112.png )

>molotovs.
>Thousands of molotovs.
>ONE HUNDRED MILLION MOLOTOVS

American!
>"Yeah, what?"
I am needing you to do something!
>"Oh christ, this isn't going to be something weird, is it?"
No! Please to be making molotovs!
>"With what, this booze? And haven't you burnt down enough buildings today?"
Trust me, I am having plan!
>"But-- Okay, okay, fine. Seems like a waste of good stuff."

...We are having plan with molotovs, не так ли?

>"Where th' hell are you goin' ruskie?"
Outside!
>"Yer not goin' to burn down more buildins', right?"
Нет! Will be back in bit
>"Just be quick with it."

Trout 2012/01/04(Wed)20:59 No. 377628 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132573956547.png - (34.22KB , 500x500 , sh113.png )

>Go and look for some horses
>Buy some horses with your vodka.
Am not seeing any horses! In fact, entire village is seeming very abandoned! Is hard to tell difference between lived shack and abandoned shack! Maybe can be finding cart, though! Where should I be looking?

Is also almost nighttime! Will be dark in half of hour! I am not needing sleep, though! I often had to stay awake for days to keep dirty thieves away from farm!

Investigate houses for the components to a molotov-throwing machine.

>>377628
Search the houses for stuff you can use, starting with a large barn or something. Farmers usually have some sort of explosives around to deal with stubborn trees in their fields and stuff like that.

Loot the bunkhouse. If all else fails, use English and American as mounts.

Commandeer everything left behind.

if the village doesn't belong to anyone else, it might as well belong to you.

Trout 2012/01/05(Thu)21:37 No. 377820 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132582825916.png - (43.69KB , 500x500 , sh114.png )

>Loot the bunkhouse.

Bunkhouse is being ash and dead Germans! I am not thinking there is anything left!

>Commandeer everything left behind.
>Search the houses for stuff you can use
все в порядке, I will be doing that! Am going to search shacks now!

>if the village doesn't belong to anyone else, it might as well belong to you.
Нет! Village is belong to all people of Motherland! To take village is to be imperialist fascist pig!

Trout 2012/01/05(Thu)21:41 No. 377822 ID: 9c7c3b
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>MEANWHILE IN THE SAHARA DESERT
So, um, I made a thing. Accidentally.

>>377822
Wait, is that a helicopter? You accidentaly built a helicopter out in the desert? That's freaking awesome, let's start it up and see if it works.

>>377822
>Make a helicopter out of nothing.

Holy shit Wilson, you're a super soldier

>>377822
Mother of Motherland...

>>377820
Make a vodka-powered rocket/car/sled. Or wait for Canada to save your asses.

Start that shit up.

Hop in it and try to switch it on. Yes, I know, you've invented it years early and have no idea what it does or how it works.

Just give it a try.


And try and figure out how to distill fuel from your own urine.

>>377822
>Wilson: Ascend

Trout 2012/01/07(Sat)23:46 No. 378433 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132600879786.png - (4.01MB , 2560x1600 , sh116.png )

>let's start it up and see if it works.
>Start that shit up.
>Hop in it and try to switch it on.
I have no idea how this thing works. What's it do, anyway?

>Holy shit Wilson, you're a super soldier
Thank you, eh? I don't get the significance of this, but...

Trout 2012/01/07(Sat)23:47 No. 378434 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132600883335.png - (83.16KB , 500x500 , sh117.png )

...but really, I have no clue what I've created here or how I use it.

man, just press on some random buttons and shit.

alternatively, just create an instruction manual.

Activate thing with screen. Onboard AI is go.

>>378434
Try pressing the two red things. If that doesn't work then just press a few random buttons.

Flip switches. Switches are usually a good bet for making things go.

>>378438
>Instruction Manual
Wait is Wilson a Newtype? this could work.

>>378463

except if it's the lever for retracting landing gears.

>>378515
Good thing it's a helicopter then, no need to worry about such things.

>>378517

or is it?

when it comes to aircraft, there are usually switches involved.

Look for anything labeled throttle. Once you got that, flip the switches and push a bit on the throttle to get'r warmed up. Once the blades are spinning nice and fast you can get goin' by pulling on the joystick provided probably to your right

>>378599
Man, that's not how helicopters work at all. You've got a lever on the left which controls how much up/down you go, and a stick in front which controls which way you tilt. Neither of these are the throttle; engine throttle is automatically adjusted to keep the rotor RPM constant when changes in the controls place or remove load on it.

Get the blades spinning, wait till they've gotten going as fast as they seem inclined to, then lift the lever on the left. Probably best to do give it a solid (but steady) pull; it'll be rough, but you really don't want to learn how to hold a helicopter steady without getting some safety margin altitude ASAP.

Trout 2012/01/09(Mon)20:24 No. 378837 ID: 9c7c3b
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>man, just press on some random buttons and shit.
>Flip switches.
whirrrr

Trout 2012/01/09(Mon)20:25 No. 378838 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132616950204.png - (85.67KB , 500x500 , sh119.png )

clickclick

Trout 2012/01/09(Mon)20:25 No. 378839 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132616951977.png - (84.90KB , 500x500 , sh120.png )

click

Trout 2012/01/09(Mon)20:25 No. 378840 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132616953846.png - (83.18KB , 500x500 , sh121.png )

>WILSONAI 1.0 ENABLED

Trout 2012/01/09(Mon)20:26 No. 378842 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132616956473.png - (36.70KB , 500x500 , sh122.png )

W-what?

ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

TIME FOR... LIFDOOF

SET ROTOR BLADES TO OVERCLOCK

This can only end awesomely.

TO GERMANY!

>>378842
Just take it chill, let the AI handle it. Anyway, off to a remote village somewhere in the probably Polish countryside!

Kill all humans.
I mean prepare for takeoff.

My God, Wilson truly is everything the legends foretold.
Secrets he knows are so secret that he's even made himself forget them.

>>378950
Holy SHIT. Die Glocke is FUCKED.

Trout 2012/01/10(Tue)21:49 No. 379104 ID: 9c7c3b
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>WE HAVE. LIFDOFF
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Trout 2012/01/10(Tue)21:49 No. 379105 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132626096704.png - (46.00KB , 500x500 , sh124.png )

Здравствуйте еще раз, товарищи! I have found few useful things through village!

-Strong, sturdy cart with no horse!
-Oil lantern!
-Oil for oil lantern!
-Obrez! Is Mosin-Nagant cut down to size of pistol!
-Food and vodka!
-Large supply of empty bottle!

>"ЭЙ!"

Trout 2012/01/10(Tue)21:49 No. 379106 ID: 9c7c3b
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>"TO BE GIVING BACK GUN AND FOOD NOW! IS MINE!

Is that a villager? We'll be friendly and try to recruit him. Tell him you where gonna use the stuff to fight Nazis. He's probably resistance or something. You also got tons of Vodka so be generous with that too.

the People's Glorious Socialist Motherland Union of Russian Soviet Republics needs that.

it also needs you to come help kill Evil Fascist Pigs.

>>379106
WHoever that is should be aiding you in the fight for Glorious Mother Russia!

Trout 2012/01/11(Wed)21:31 No. 379356 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132634626226.png - (42.95KB , 500x500 , sh126.png )

>We'll be friendly and try to recruit him. Tell him you where gonna use the stuff to fight Nazis.
I am soldier from glorious Red Army and I am needing things to be fighting Nazi fascist dogs! I am also needing YOU to join me in freeing Mother Russia from grip of Na--

Trout 2012/01/11(Wed)21:31 No. 379357 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132634627392.png - (39.21KB , 500x500 , sh127.png )

>"Нет! Заткнись! GIVING BACK THINGS NOW!"

>>379357
don't you see? he is also russian, you must convince him that this is the right way. use force.

Pout and give him his stuff back.

>>379364
I second this notion except replace the words "convince him that this is the right way" with "use him as bait for the next Nazi Patrol". Don't forget to put your hat on him so that they think hes you.

Ask him why he's got an Obrez. Suspect that it he doesnt have the proper german license for such a weapon.

TRAITOR

YOU MUST PUNISH HIM

Offer some of your Vodka stores as trade.
If that doesn't work, tell him his shoelaces are untied and punch him out.

Time for shaky-cam with some loud-ass trumpets, and a possible violent cut to black!
That degree in necromancy really paid off, let me tell you.

>>379357
Oh it's on! Drink vodka until you both think you're bears and then it's a bear fight for the ages!

Hey, Wilson. Get your ass over to Bloodquest, pronto!

Things are not yours are belong to greater Soviet Collective.

Trout 2012/01/14(Sat)23:14 No. 379851 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132661167315.png - (28.57KB , 500x500 , sh128.png )

>you must convince him that this is the right way. use force.
>YOU MUST PUNISH HIM

show him the victory dance of the People.

Trout 2012/01/17(Tue)21:38 No. 380515 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132686512094.png - (87.28KB , 1000x1000 , sh131.png )

>show him the victory dance of the People.
Конечно! But I am not being very good at dancing at all!

Youth is out cold! Should I be leaving here or using as bait?

>>380515
Hey, there's a means of transportation behind you! But you'll need propulsion for it to become useful. Who do you think is the most ass-like in your team?

>>380515
Strap youth in front of the wagon and make him pull it. Then load it with the important stuff and start moving out, you can probably find some nazi scum out on patrol that you can ambush on the way there.

>>380638

in fact, find another youth who is too rebellious for his own good and beat him into submission so he can pull the cart together with this guy.

Trout 2012/01/20(Fri)18:49 No. 381272 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132711417786.png - (106.20KB , 1000x1000 , sh132.png )

>Who do you think is the most ass-like in your team?

Trout 2012/01/20(Fri)18:50 No. 381273 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132711420411.png - (146.88KB , 1000x1000 , sh133.png )

>Strap youth in front of the wagon and make him pull it.
Is seeming very cruel, but okay.

>in fact, find another youth who is too rebellious for his own good and beat him into submission so he can pull the cart together with this guy.
I am attracted small crowd, but is not looking like are any youths!

Don't be cruel. Hand the guy over to them.

Pull the cart over and stand on it like a podium, and give an inspiring speech to rally them to your aid.
"Being attention! I am Hoviet Sero! I am meaning Soviet Hero. No, am in fact meaning Hoviet Sero. Is confusing. What was being said? Oh! Free vodka for all who are helping find automobile!"

Not sure what OP is looking for, but...
You should apologize. Or at least steal their shit then turn tail and run.
Make sure to start the next update with the protagonists on the run through a tropical forest from an unknown enemy. You can loan my undead Michael Giacchino. You see, I don't need him anymore... with this power, no one can stop me. I have control over death itself! KNEEL BEFORE ME, WITLESS PEASANTS! KNEE-
*slap*
Ok, guess I got carried away there.

hey, ask if any of them want to be helping Glorious Motherland!

Ask the village people where the home of youth resides to return him home.

Action is least likely to result in angry mob

Trout 2012/01/21(Sat)21:44 No. 381521 ID: 9c7c3b
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>Don't be cruel. Hand the guy over to them.
>Ask the village people where the home of youth resides to return him home.
Ah... Здравствуйте! I am Hoviet Soviet Hero Sero! Is anyone knowing where home of youth is being?

>"да, is son. Take him. Is not help on farm, is just being sitting and not doing anything. Am sick of it."

Um...

>>381521
tell him that if you have his blessing you will take his son up as an apprentice hero, and show him the ropes of hero doing for a few months or years.

>>381522
Yes. What is being name of rebellious youth?

>>381521
Thank him for son's contribution to glorious Soviet Union.

>>381521
Sounds like the boy should join up with the glorious peoples army and fight in the great patriotic war. Lets get him working!

Trout 2012/01/22(Sun)20:48 No. 381665 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132729408395.png - (136.09KB , 1000x1000 , sh135.png )

>Thank him for son's contribution to glorious Soviet Union.
Um... Thank you!
>"да."

>tell him that if you have his blessing you will take his son up as an apprentice hero, and show him the ropes of hero doing for a few months or years.
Do not worry, son will be doing--
>"Am not caring."

>What is being name of rebellious youth?
Подождите! What is name of youth?
>"Igor."

...в порядке, to bar now.

Trout 2012/01/22(Sun)20:48 No. 381666 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132729409984.png - (145.45KB , 1000x1000 , sh136.png )

>"Oh hey, man-- what the FUCK, Sero? Why are you dragging someone through the street?"
Is newest member of team! Will be carrying things and pulling cart!
>"Did he agree to it? I mean, that's not how people normally agree to things! They don't agree to be dragged to wherever they need to go!"
>"да, in a way!"
>"...Does this mean I don't have to lug this pack around anymore?"

>>381666
He will no longer have to lug around the pack. He will lug around Igor and the cart while Igor lugs around the pack. Is delicious irony, да?

Still need to ask what they were doing with an obrez. Also we should start to try and build loyalty from Igor. Have the American and Igor compete over who's the new pack mule, first one land a clean blow wins.

Where's that "ow ow ow" coming from?

>>381666
What? Of course he still has to lug around his fucking pack. He's a soldier, not some weakass farmboy.

>>381703
Is joke. He is having to lug around cart containing Igor. Igor is having to lug around pack while pacing around inside of cart. He will then have to lug around cart, Igor AND pack. See joke yet?

Trout 2012/01/23(Mon)21:04 No. 381801 ID: 9c7c3b
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>Where's that "ow ow ow" coming from?
Youth Igor is coming awake!

>Of course he still has to lug around his fucking pack.
нет, will still carry!
>"Aw, fine."

>lug around Igor and the cart
>He is having to lug around cart containing Igor.
And also will be towing cart!
>"WHAT? I'm not doing that, ya palooka!"

Is joke, is joke.

Tie youth to cart, preferably to front. Acquire lash. Put food and stuff on cart, crack lash, get going! Oh, and watch the skies.

>>381845

also? put entire team on cart.

"Is being helping youth to pull cart. Would be for using bloated classist scum, but would be tiring out fast, да?"

>>381850
Indeed! Is to be proving superiority over "Lord" Pigfat-Arse. Use of quotation marks and British swear is to denoting irony!

>>381815

Trout 2012/01/27(Fri)22:17 No. 382797 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132773143331.png - (61.25KB , 1000x1000 , sh138.png )

>"Is being helping youth to pull cart. Would be for using bloated classist scum, but would be tiring out fast, да?"
>Indeed! Is to be proving superiority over "Lord" Pigfat-Arse. Use of quotation marks and British swear is to denoting irony!

Do not be worrying, is helping youth to pull cart!
>"I'm still not being your slave!"

>Is joke, is joke.
Хорошо, haha, was just joke.
>"Crazy fuckin' ruskies.

Trout 2012/01/27(Fri)22:17 No. 382798 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132773147665.png - (252.08KB , 1000x1000 , sh139.png )

>Tie youth to cart, preferably to front. Acquire lash. Put food and stuff on cart, crack lash, get going! Oh, and watch the skies.
>"what in the blazes--"
>"What th' fuck is this? What'd you do, Sero?"
>"helping me please"

I do not think Lord Bourgeoisie and Australian are very happy with plan!

"Dad is be giving permissions!"

do not worry! this boy is hard working youth from glorious Motherland! the blood in his body alone be letting him pull cart for days without tiring! clearly, nothing can be going wrong about this plan.

>>382798
Tell them it's cool, you got parental permission and he is doing his part in aiding the glorious Motherland!

>>382798
Where is all that smoke and fire coming from? Is the entire town burning down?

Trout 2012/02/01(Wed)10:51 No. 383787 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132812226937.png - (95.29KB , 1000x1000 , sh140.png )

>"Dad is be giving permissions!"
Father of youth is making for working of us!
>"...Well, we don't have a better way, roight?"
>"You jest."
>"Can you find a better way, brit?"
>"No..."
>"Then 'elp me load up the cart."

Trout 2012/02/01(Wed)10:51 No. 383788 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132812230636.png - (79.16KB , 1000x1000 , sh141.png )

Is after sunset now! Is very dark, due to no moonlight! Have been traveling for half of hour, and youth seems tired but is not stopping. Has not spoken single word entire time!
...I have to say, riding on cart is very boring compared to being on plane or back in Stalingrad. I am needing to find something to do!

Flick stuff at the youth and when he turns around act like nothing has happened

Help push leetle cart.

Help pull cart to increase speed. Glorious Communism is about all working and make utopia where all man is equal, not to be slavery. Does the Champion of the Proletariat support classism such to step on head of working man?

>>383788
Prod youth with pointy stick.

>>383832
>>383924
Help pull cart, encourage youth to new levels of GLORY.

Trout 2012/02/04(Sat)15:43 No. 384313 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132839898237.png - (129.65KB , 1000x1000 , sh142.png )

>Help push leetle cart.
Да! I should be helping with labor as should all members of team! I do not think capitalist team members have ever had to be doing hard labor, especially Lord Bourgeois!

Pushing cart is hard and boring work, though! Maybe is time for change of perspective, Да?

Be Hitler.

Fuck that.

Be WILSONAI.

HitlerQuest Trout 2012/02/05(Sun)17:29 No. 384618 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132849179123.png - (43.94KB , 750x750 , sh143.png )

>Be Hitler.
You are now Hitler. You are currently sitting in the back of your Führermobile, en route to some backwater part of western Russia to visit some godforsaken military base where the Reich's newest weapon is being readied for deployment. You have not had a very good time so far.

It has been a long trip. You could go for a meal. Your assistant sits across from you, leering at you like he always does. That weirdo.

Tell assistant to get you pretzels to snack on, and look over some reports.

>>384618
Tell your assistant to call up Himmler and make him get you some eggs and some chicken. Since he used to be a chicken farmer and all that.

>>384618
Read http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2509#comic

Get about your duties and save us in the future from the aliens, you lazy arschloch.

think about how much you hate Jews.

>>384618
Ask the assistant to get you some juice.

>>384778
Yes. We must eliminate all the juice.

Juice is now banned. All will drink water.

WE MUST DRAIN ALL THE JUIIIIIIIIIIICE

>>384812
Even the beetle juice?

Trout 2012/02/09(Thu)14:49 No. 385451 ID: 9c7c3b
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>think about how much you hate Jews.
JUDEN.

Trout 2012/02/09(Thu)14:49 No. 385452 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132882777209.png - (69.31KB , 750x750 , sh145.png )

>Tell your assistant to call up Himmler and make him get you some eggs and some chicken. Since he used to be a chicken farmer and all that.
You are pretty sure that Herr Himmler is busy torturing jews at this hour. And is in a completely different country.

>Ask the assistant to get you some juice.
You command your assistant to retreive some juice
>"Did you just ask for some--"
Juice.
>"Jawohl, mein Führer!"

Trout 2012/02/09(Thu)14:49 No. 385453 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132882778829.png - (134.80KB , 750x750 , sh146.png )

>look over some reports.
It appears that there is some panic going through the Reich about some Allied war machines dubbed "Serogorgs". Which are apparently soldiers grafted into immense battle suits. You make a mental note to tell your scientists to copy the technology and tell everyone that you personally invented it.

There are also a few notes here about an almost mythical Canadian commando that goes by the unassuming codename "Wilson". This "Wilson" has apparently been singlehandedly decimating entire platoons of your men with his bare hands. The greatest evidence of his presence is a burned down guardhouse with all soldiers inside dead. Only a single set of unidentified footprints were found.

Just a normal day in the Reich, it seems.

The Führermobile has almost reached it's destination and you have not had a satisfatory meal. This will not stand.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler%27s_vegetarianism

I'll just leave this here...

Hitler feeds on HATE. He must eat some of his paintings every two hours.

>>385453
Well you clearly need to go in there, shout a lot and demand actions and ask them why you're paying them and not just shooting them. Oh, and demand pictures of this Wilson fellow. Need to slam your hand into a desk while doing it as well. And I know you're not really a smoker, but it would be wicked cool if you could smoke a big cigarr while doing it.

>>385501
A candy cigar of course. We can't pollute our Glorious Aryan Genes with carcinogens.

I'm loving that graph. Compliment your scientists for coming up with time-traveling serogorg scouts.

Trout 2012/02/12(Sun)21:11 No. 386157 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132910987178.png - (21.00KB , 750x750 , sh147.png )

>Well you clearly need to go in there, shout a lot and demand actions and ask them why you're paying them and not just shooting them.

Trout 2012/02/12(Sun)21:11 No. 386158 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132910988756.png - (65.41KB , 750x750 , sh148.png )

You ask them in no uncertain terms why you bother paying them when the only thing they deserve is a single bullet to the brain.

Trout 2012/02/12(Sun)21:11 No. 386160 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132910991335.png - (69.54KB , 750x750 , sh149.png )

>"But you don't really pay us, me--"
Shut up.

Trout 2012/02/12(Sun)21:12 No. 386161 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132910993077.png - (74.99KB , 750x750 , sh150.png )

You need pictures.

Pictures of this Wilson.

Trout 2012/02/12(Sun)21:12 No. 386162 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132910994948.png - (68.70KB , 750x750 , sh151.png )

They're not quite sure what to make of this.

>>386162
make slack jawedness illegal so they stop making that face at you.

Put your cigar out in the closest one's eye(not your assistant), while lighting up a new one, tell them you want pictures of what he looks like WITH his cloths on while yelling at them for thinking like that and being stupid.

>>386162
Point out to them that you need pictures of this Wilson in action if you are to formulate a defensive plan against him.

>>386237
ALL of his clothes.

And you know FOR A FACT that he owns AT LEAST four scarves.

Trout 2012/02/15(Wed)15:07 No. 386945 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132934727691.png - (77.68KB , 750x750 , sh152.png )

>Put your cigar out in the closest one's eye(not your assistant)
>tell them you want pictures of what he looks like WITH his cloths on
>ALL of his clothes.
>you need pictures of this Wilson in action if you are to formulate a defensive plan

You use your harshest words and voice to inform them that you want pictures of Wilson AND his clothes. All of his clothes. So that you can discover his weakness and prevent him from destroying the Reich, damn it.

Trout 2012/02/15(Wed)15:08 No. 386946 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132934729694.png - (72.94KB , 750x750 , sh153.png )

>"B-but mein Fuhrer, we're scientists, not photographers!"

Light another cigar and put it out in his other eye. Did you stutter?!

THEN DEVELOP A WAY TO TAKE PICTURES FROM SPACE OR SOME SHIT.

MAKE SOME GODDAMN SPY SHIT THEN

>>386961
>>386961
>>386961
>>386961
>>386961
>>386961
>>386961
>>386961
>>386961
Wilson probably has all kinds of ways to stop normal photography! You must obviously expend a large amount of your resources building a satellite that will be able to take photos from SPACE!

invent a machine that can find and take a photo of Wilson, then.

>>386946
Tell them to start sciencing on a way to get some photos of him then. And you want them yesterday!

>>377822
This is a photograph of Wilson after he created a helicopter merely by thinking about baseball and Mom's apple pie. Canadians have the same stereotypical patriotic thoughts that you've heard Americans do, right? Get your scientists working on the arcana of Canadian patriotism that you may understand how Wilson creates matter from nothing. This will be a powerful weapon if you can harness it.

>>386952

Do this and yell at them for making you waste cigars, also get him some medical treatment or something.

>>386952
also demand them to create bionic eyes for their now-damaged comrade so he can be useful once again to the Reich.
And train him to enhance his other senses too, in case they fail. The Fuhrer will not tolerate incompetence, no matter it's form or reason.

Suggestion 2012/02/18(Sat)23:17 No. 387653 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132963582617.png - (65.72KB , 750x750 , sh154.png )

>Light another cigar and put it out in his other eye.
>Tell them to start sciencing on a way to get some photos of him
You give them a very official order to get working on some science of photo-taking that will find and photograph Wilson. From space.

Suggestion 2012/02/18(Sat)23:17 No. 387654 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132963584987.png - (71.78KB , 750x750 , sh155.png )

>"Yes mein Fuhrer, b=but... we need to finish the Hochgeher first! Those are our orders! The machine you came here to see!"
>"Yah, I am to show it to you!"

Bah testing is for the meek who cannot seize fate themselves. Just pocket what ever it is or jump into it's cockpit if it has one and you'll figure it out easily enough.

>>387654
Alright, LET'S SEE IT. And tell that guy on the second floor to stop bleeding on the walls and get back to work.

Well it better be good then, because we can't waste time while Wilson is still on the loose

oh! umm... ja, sehr gut.

>>386946
>>387654
Oh shit, someone's on the balcony! Investigate!

>>387787
[nope]

>Hitler: Be Wilson.

Who are they to tell you what is important? All work must be stopped for this URGENT PHOTOGRAPHY.

Then make out with your assistant.

>>387654
Retrieve both cigars. Light the both and smoke them at the same time. If the need strikes, you're welcome to put both of them out at once in another set of eyes.

Regardless, go see the thing they did or whatever.

Trout 2012/02/19(Sun)21:42 No. 387835 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132971652063.png - (51.76KB , 750x750 , sh156.png )

>Alright, LET'S SEE IT
You begrudgingly agree.

Trout 2012/02/19(Sun)21:42 No. 387836 ID: 9c7c3b
File 132971653827.png - (54.60KB , 750x750 , sh157.png )

>"Zis must be ze Reich's most fearsome veapon yet, mein Fuhrer. I am very proud to haff worked on it. Und zis may just be the edge we need to crush the Allies. Do you have any questions, mein Fuhrer?"

Has it killed any Allies yet?
If the answer is 'no', save your celebration.

How big is it?

>>387836
Demand that he remove the swastika from his belt and tie it around his arm or else you'll have it sewn to his face.

naw dude.

>>387836
Ask what the fuck it does.

>>387836
tell him that it better do something other than hold your trousers up otherwise hes not going to even have legs to put trousers on.

Accuse him of sexual deviancy.

HitlerQuest End Trout 2012/02/24(Fri)21:26 No. 388721 ID: 9c7c3b
File 133014758406.png - (128.15KB , 750x750 , sh158.png )

>Has it killed any Allies yet?
You ask him if it's killed any Allied scum.
>"Vell no, it iz only in a prototype stage, yah?"

>Ask what the fuck it does.
You inquire about, in scientific terms, what the fuck it does.
>"ANYTHING, mein Fuhrer! It iz ze most maneuverable und deadly veapons platform ever built! It can simply step over rubble und other obstructions, making it ze perfect tool for, say, crushing Stalingrad! Simply put, ze Hochgeher iz exactly vhat ve need to dominate Europe!

>How big is it?
>"See vor yourself, mein Fuhrer."

Mein Gott.

Trout 2012/02/24(Fri)21:26 No. 388722 ID: 9c7c3b
File 133014760471.png - (112.72KB , 750x750 , sh159.png )

...Да, да, and then after shooting one Nazi fascist, I am run to other and bayonet him!
>"Haha, is good story, Sero!"
Many of thanksh, talking bottle of vodka!

Oh, Здравствуйте again, friendsh! I am drinking of many more vodkash. ahahaha! Youth of pulling cart ish getting tired even with many help from pushingsh! Ish not usedsh to hard labor! Sho what are we to be doing thish fine night of Russia?

Examine forest fire.

Be partying! If you are having Vodka, it should be drinking time!

>>388722
draw stuff on your sleeping team members faces with your trusty pen.

OH DEAR GOD GET THE VODKA AWAY FROM THOSE FLAMES

>>388722
Party with the vodka bottle some more.

>>388722
Party like it's 1918 and the party just got into power!

Trout 2012/02/25(Sat)14:30 No. 388851 ID: 9c7c3b
File 133020901240.png - (68.87KB , 750x750 , sh160.png )

>Be partying!
Am partying already! Have drank... один, два, три, четыре... many bottle of vodka!

>draw stuff on your sleeping team members faces with your trusty pen.
Да! Ish besht idea. What am I to be drawing on facesh of capitalisht?

A piggy bank, of course! An English piggy bank! Also draw "England is being far superior to capitalist pigs of America" to make it be seeming that Lord Lardass did it and not you!

uh. a pee-pee-place? I'm really not good with this sort of thing.

>>388851
Hitler stache.

>>388851
Turn him into that what he hates the most. Give him a monocle and curly mustache

>>388851
WAIT BETTER IDEA
Draw a penis on the lens of the British guy's scope

DRAW EVERYTHING
EEEEEEVEEEEEERYTHING

IF YOU CANNOT FIND A PEN USE SHARDS OF GLASS FROM THE VODKA BOTTLES

>>388960
Don't do this. Gun did not hurt anybody but nazi facist pigs.

Trout 2012/02/25(Sat)20:51 No. 388970 ID: 9c7c3b
File 133023188666.png - (81.09KB , 750x750 , sh161.png )

>EVERYTHING

Trout 2012/02/25(Sat)20:51 No. 388971 ID: 9c7c3b
File 133023190298.png - (111.83KB , 750x750 , sh162.png )

да, ish good!

Inspect approaching forest fire.

Inspect approaching light! If is fire, vodka and friends are in danger! Especially vodka!

Trout 2012/02/26(Sun)10:26 No. 389079 ID: 9c7c3b
File 133028081940.png - (101.61KB , 750x750 , sh163.png )

>Inspect approaching light!
Haha, what?
О человеке, I musht be being very drunk! Haha!

Draw more penises on it. With burning vodka bottles. By that I mean hurl fire at it until it dies. You're drunk, this is no time to question what we say. Just follow our advice.

>>389079
Use the American's gun to draw penises on the flying thing.

throw a stone at it.

What if is Soviet Aliens from glorious Mars colony?
Waking up youth for beholding finest Soviet engineering.

>>389090
THEN KILL THEM FOR NOT WORKING ON MARS! FOR MOTHER RUSSIA!

If you don't want to do that, try loudly singing the Soviet National Anthem at it until it dies or becomes a patriot.

Shimmey up the tree and ride it!

ride die glöcke like a mechanical bull

Trout 2012/03/02(Fri)22:40 No. 389959 ID: 9c7c3b
File 133075681760.png - (106.53KB , 750x750 , sh164.png )

>throw a
>vodka bottles
>You're drunk, this is no time to question what we say. Just follow our advice.

Haha, да, shure!

Trout 2012/03/02(Fri)22:40 No. 389960 ID: 9c7c3b
File 133075683268.png - (83.08KB , 750x750 , sh165.png )

Да дерьмо, I am forgetting to light on fire firsht! Man with rifle is not of looking very happy!

Accuse him of sexual deviancy.

Threaten to tell Hitler.

Quickly, be waking comrades! Seeing symbol on UFO?
Is not Soviet Martians.

Is Nazi Martians!

wake up everything.

>>389960
ask if delinquent child is seeing this.

Trout 2012/03/11(Sun)15:36 No. 391925 ID: 9c7c3b
File 133150536464.png - (99.99KB , 750x750 , sh167.png )

>wake up everything.
>"AH! What the hell, Ruskie--"

Trout 2012/03/11(Sun)15:36 No. 391926 ID: 9c7c3b
File 133150538297.png - (109.31KB , 750x750 , sh168.png )

Да дерьмо!
>"AAAAAAH!"

drunkenly attempt to throw a molotov coctail through the window of the fascist vessel.

>>391931
succeed*

Trout 2012/04/06(Fri)18:43 No. 399111 ID: a43a6c
File 133376303951.png - (109.89KB , 750x750 , sh169.png )

>drunkenly attempt to throw a molotov coctail through the window of the fascist vessel.
Hup!

Is connect!

>"SCHEIßE!"
>"GUSTAF VHAT IN ZE FUHRER'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?"
>"ZHEY SCRATCHED ZE FUCKING PAINT!"
>"DAMN IT GUSTAF VE VERE SUPPOSED TO CAPTURE ZEM!"
>"FINE!"

Trout 2012/04/06(Fri)18:44 No. 399112 ID: a43a6c
File 133376305127.png - (87.00KB , 750x750 , sh170.png )

thunkthunk

Trout 2012/04/06(Fri)18:44 No. 399113 ID: a43a6c
File 133376306651.png - (89.44KB , 750x750 , sh171.png )

>"aaaaaa..."
Хм.

>"Oy, Sero! What the 'ell is goin' on?"

Nazis! They are shooting darts! I think we should start shooting back now.

>>399113
We are too drunk to be put under. Fire back with proud vodka.

Is Soviet Hero Hoviet Sero let sedative suppress The Peoples' fury? Shout slurredly to your comrades about the space nazis, then hurl another molotov.

answer while firing another molotov.

This

Pah. Silly fascists with their sedatives. Do they not know you have the PEOPLE'S LIVER?!

Trout 2012/04/28(Sat)16:35 No. 405542 ID: a43a6c
File 133565611041.png - (101.36KB , 750x750 , sh172.png )

Нет! Will not waste good vodka on Nazis!


Is space nazis from space!
>"WHAT THE 'ELL IS THAT?"
>"Good lord!"

Comrades are starting to be firing!

>"SCHEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIßE!"

Loud German is -Ой!- still firing many darts! Is starting to sting, but Nazi sedative is not having effect on me!

Only one option: throw the dart back.

Return to sender.

Also who is unaccounted for?

That's Lord Monocle and he's probably just out of frame.

>>408045
I believe he was the "Good Lord!" in the background.

Trout 2012/05/16(Wed)17:19 No. 412767 ID: a43a6c
File 133721394186.png - (110.78KB , 750x750 , sh173.png )

Хорошая идея! I am throw dart back at Nazi with gun!
"Scheeeiiiiiißeeeeeeee.."
Wow, haha! Am good throw!

Trout 2012/05/16(Wed)17:19 No. 412768 ID: a43a6c
File 133721395528.png - (137.82KB , 750x750 , sh174.png )

Ой ой! Nazi spaceship is landing now. There are being many Nazis coming out! Are looking much more dangerous now than man with little dart gun!

Are also having bullseyes conveniently placed on head! Inform the others and be taking cover.

>>412767
Don't die. Sero! You must survive and defend Motherland in the Olympics!

Let them spread, then hijack Die Glocke. Remember, we needed transportation.

That WOULD be pretty awesome transportation.

forsake guns in favor of superior throwing weapons, such as two molotov coctails tied together, allowing you to throw four at once.

Trout 2012/06/22(Fri)00:14 No. 424926 ID: d1e9bf
File 134034927510.png - (13.74KB , 750x750 , sh175.png )

Comrades! Be looking for bullseyes--

CRKKK

Trout 2012/06/22(Fri)00:14 No. 424927 ID: d1e9bf
File 134034928966.png - (12.50KB , 750x750 , sh176.png )

...I think is time to be moving!

Trout 2012/06/22(Fri)00:15 No. 424928 ID: d1e9bf
File 134034930884.png - (85.96KB , 750x750 , sh177.png )

I am grabbing American and jumping behind cart! British oppressor and Australian are being there too!
"Our cover's bein' torn th' 'ell apart!"
"Bloody 'ell, that one nicked my hat!"
"We need 'ta get out'a 'ere!"

WilsonAI: Create a distraction.
Alexander: Be awoken by Monocle's oddly cheeseburger-like scent.
Sero: Making these facist pigs some Lemonade. Make sure it is tasting good and explosive.
Monocle: hold hat up with hand to help draw fire. The bullet holes will simply be proof of your dashing venture.
Kangaroo: You got any grenades? If so join Sero in exploding the badguys.

It's a cart, can't you just roll it with you as moving cover while you escape?

>>425091
Only direction they could do that in without breaking cover to push is towards the nazis, which could then flank them.

They could pull the cart?

Why didn't I think of this before!? Draw a toothbrush mustache on everyone, mimic the voice of their fuhrer and confuse the enemy!

>>425106
You could also just hold the side and pull it along with you and go in about any direction.

Trout 2012/08/17(Fri)13:49 No. 444263 ID: 99090a
File 134523654138.png - (27.40KB , 600x600 , sh178.png )

I am having plan!
"...Ruskie, no."
But--
"NO."

Trout 2012/08/17(Fri)13:49 No. 444264 ID: 99090a
File 134523655321.png - (14.57KB , 900x600 , sh179.png )

Cart cannot turn very fast without one of team going in front of Nazis! We pull cart away back into thicker woods! Nazis keep shooting and coming toward cart! Is tie for now, we need to be doing something else!

Can you flip the cart over, then get inside it and have everyone carry it as cover.

>>444505
Recall the days of your youth in the motherland, where cart rides you.
Oh, and watch out for that stick grenade.

molotovs are more potent against enemies in the open than flying things and also don't require you to aim very well. heave more fire at 'em!

Look out, potato masher coming overhead. Bat it out of the air like a pro basketball player.

Trout 2012/10/20(Sat)16:56 No. 464811 ID: 6a42fc
File 135077739340.png - (9.51KB , 650x600 , sh180.png )

Молотова! Да! Here goes!

Trout 2012/10/20(Sat)16:56 No. 464812 ID: 6a42fc
File 135077740604.png - (7.82KB , 650x600 , sh181.png )

Hup!

Trout 2012/10/20(Sat)16:57 No. 464814 ID: 6a42fc
File 135077743943.png - (11.70KB , 650x600 , sh183.png )

THOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Trout 2012/10/20(Sat)16:57 No. 464816 ID: 6a42fc
File 135077745332.png - (9.31KB , 650x600 , sh184.png )

Oof.

Ничего себе... What has happened? I saw molotov hit grenade, maybe two combined to make big explosion.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Trout 2012/10/20(Sat)16:57 No. 464817 ID: 6a42fc
File 135077746824.gif - (12.41KB , 650x600 , sh195.gif )

Huh. Is Nazi. Where is team...?

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>464817
Get an eyeful of the combat area. Kill closest nazi with closest effective weapon, then head towards closest ally.

>>464818
Closest effective weapon is fist.
Cast fist on Nazi.

follow screechings. I bet it's the Brit.

>>464853
That would be the ringing in his ears, from the explosion.

Trout 2012/11/08(Thu)17:02 No. 469792 ID: 6a42fc
File 135242295851.png - (126.46KB , 800x600 , sh186.png )

>That would be the ringing in his ears, from the explosion.

Huh? Нет, is not ears.

>Get an eyeful of the combat area.
...Is a lot of fire! Is only me and Nazi.

Trout 2012/11/08(Thu)17:02 No. 469793 ID: 6a42fc
File 135242297285.png - (18.33KB , 800x600 , sh187.png )

>Kill closest nazi with closest effective weapon, then head towards closest ally.
>Closest effective weapon is fist.

*Wham!*
"Aaugh!"
*Wham!*
"AAUGH!"
*Wham!*
"AAAAUGH!"

Is not as effective as gun I think.

>>469793
We have two more efficient options:
1. Break his neck: Tricky, but fast and reliable.
2. Drag him into the blaze: Cruel, slow, and he might escape (with horrifying wounds), but really easy to do.

>>469801
Into flames, like Jews he put in oven! Maybe he will return as cyborg nazi supervillain later.

Bludgeon him over the head with his stupid little helmet.

Trout 2012/11/12(Mon)12:43 No. 471155 ID: 6a42fc
File 135275298911.png - (12.79KB , 800x600 , sh188.png )

>Bludgeon him over the head with his stupid little helmet.

*WHAM!*
"Warum Gott!!"
*WHAM!*
"WAAARRRUUMMM!"

Trout 2012/11/12(Mon)12:43 No. 471156 ID: 6a42fc
File 135275300573.png - (47.76KB , 800x600 , sh189.png )

>Drag him into the blaze
>Into flames, like Jews he put in oven!
Да! Is good idea! Helmet is also not effective--

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Ah, Что это за шум?

Trout 2012/11/12(Mon)12:43 No. 471157 ID: 6a42fc
File 135275302673.png - (79.47KB , 800x600 , sh190.png )

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Oh, is American making noise.

...NAZIS HAVE AMERICAN!

Hey, that one has a gun. Find a gun to shoot him with.

Is there enough time and unburt nazi clothes around for us to wear as disguise and infiltrate the flying saucer?

Put on the nazi helmet to confuse them and rush the one with the gun once you're close enough. Use the might of the Soviets to pry the weapon from him and slay them both.

>>471160

clearly the only option that might result in acceptable levels of awesome.

>>471174
DO IT.

Trout 2012/11/13(Tue)15:18 No. 471466 ID: 6a42fc
File 135284869993.png - (25.73KB , 800x600 , sh191.png )

>Is there enough time and unburt nazi clothes around for us to wear as disguise and infiltrate the flying saucer?

...

Uniform is in backpack. American is next to me.