2/2 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)06:43 No. 361631 ID: c811c4
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Not standing where their green, cowardly feet should be, Chop can say!

sounds like you need to start lower, find them and beat them up. then say that if they do not appear tomorrow, they will get a REAL punishment.

Seems like you need to go out and find them. Ask random people if they're your new recruits, if they say no then smack them for lying, if they say yes then tell them to get in here and do 20 push ups over the bed of hot coals as punishment for being late.

>>361632
Second.

Also, reading all Chop's posts in The Boulder's voice.

1/2 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)07:17 No. 361639 ID: c811c4
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Chop shall locate these kobold excuses. One lives nearby, so Chop has been told.

2/2 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)07:18 No. 361640 ID: c811c4
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This one sleeps like a baby kitten, looking as though this world was baked with flowers and love!

>>361640
Wake him up by lifting him by his ears and shout at him that he's late!

lift his bed into the air and dump him off of it.

>>361640
Take him, and his bed, to the Dojo. Breath on his face until he wakes up, then quietly inform him that if he doesn't avoid this attack he's dead. Then break his bed, and him if he's still on it, in half.

1/3 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)08:26 No. 361652 ID: c811c4
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>Bring bed to Dojo

SLAM!

>"Ack! What- where am I?!"

2/3 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)08:26 No. 361653 ID: c811c4
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"THIS ONE IS LAAAAAATE"

>"AHHH---OWWWW what the hell?! Put me down, you insane oaf! Why is my bed in here?! I can't move the whole thing back, so you'd better help, whoever you are! Let me go!"

3/3 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)08:28 No. 361655 ID: c811c4
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"The whining furball cannot even lift his own bed?! Then Chop shall help the weakling, and you may move it back piece by piece!"
>"Wait, you're Chop?!"

CRACK

"yes, and if you are done being a baby you will wait at your post until i return with the other recruits."

>>361655
Confirm that you are indeed Chop and that he's not allowed to move from the bed of hot coals until you get the others here. Indicate that maybe you will stop for snacks sometime during the search.

1/2 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)09:25 No. 361669 ID: c811c4
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"The flimsy looking twig is correct, Chop is Chop!"
>"I'm sorry, I didn't know! I overslept, I'm not u-"
"EXCUSES DO NOT WIN FIGHTS. This one will stand upon coals if it is done being the oversized baby, and Chop shall spend his time as leisurely fetching the other bread crumbs as this one has displayed! If this one leaves the coal, and Chop will know, then it will beg to take its next bath in this pit of coals!"
>"... yes, sir!"

Chop dares to think this one has a tiny inkling of promise after all.

2/2 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)09:25 No. 361671 ID: c811c4
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Chop seeks the others, and sees a tiny crumb, shaking like a pebble in the earthquake as she approaches me.

>"E-excuse me! I'm new here! I'm looking for, uh, a Chop's D-dojo.. why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my nose? I don't mean to disturb you, but I'm really late and I've got to know!"

>>361671
Well it's not entirely that one's fault to be so late. Just give it a solid flick on the nose, then some directions and tell it to get there and stand on the hot coal until you get back there.

"being lost is not an excuse, you should of asked someone earlier, but your enthusiasm is noted."

she also stands on the coals but be less angry about it. she was trying to get to class but was unable to.

>>361671
Hmm, well technically a TRUE WARRIOR always plans out the route beforehand, but seeing as you have yet to mold this pile of SOFT WOBBLY FLESH into STEEL-HARD MUSCLE she can be forgiven. Once.

HE'S LAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEE.

1/3 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)10:10 No. 361692 ID: c811c4
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"A true warrior will plan the route beforehand, as is possible! You will be forgiven once! Now, what is it that this wobbly flesh is doing upon my leg?"
>"Oh, I'm sorry! In my old village, we would hug each other when introducing ourselves and in greeting! And I didn't realize you were...!"

2/3 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)10:11 No. 361694 ID: c811c4
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"Chop's Dojo is beyond this hallway, followed by two immediate lefts! Stand upon the heated coals, and Chop shall look past your ill prepared, LATE arrival."
>"C-coals?! I've trained in my previous village, and we never...!"

....

>"Never..."

... "Perhaps the pup of a pup is better suited to being a seamstress with stubbed, safety-needles with a little princess' apron all while sitting atop a velvet cushion?!"

>"No no no! I'll go!"

3/3 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)10:11 No. 361695 ID: c811c4
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Chop has located another house of a missing coward. Chop is realizing that this door is locked!

doors are puny, break it in half, he will be punished extra if he was trying to hide from you. the first was just lazy, but trying to avoid your training on purpose?! that will NOT stand!

Be polite, knock on the door. Knock on it in a manner in which it will no longer be closed. Or even there.

>>361695
Ehhhhh, maybe we shouldn't break the door in half.

Simply remove it from its hinges.

1/2 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)10:54 No. 361709 ID: c811c4
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"Chop can only think the owner of this door is one of our chickens, or perhaps a trapped bunny! CHOP WILL BE POLITE ABOUT THIS LOCK!"

KNOCK! KNOCK!

2/2 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)10:57 No. 361712 ID: c811c4
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>"HOLY GODS what- what are you?! Stay back, please don't kill me, I'll do anything!"
"What is this, that presents itself to my eyes, yet asks what Chop is? Chop was correct, this is no kobold! Ha! As though any kobolds have entered my gaze today!"
>"I'm a kobold! Half draconic, but all kobold in some way or another! What do you want from me?!"

"you were due to come in to combat training today, but instead you locked yourself away in your room. for that you shall be punished." grab him by the ears and carry him back to the dojo.

"You have signed up for my class and tardiness is UNACCEPTABLE! Know that Chop is eccentric, brutal teacher and that he demands at least 300% from all his students! And that's the lowest acceptable, CHOP HAS ALWAYS GIVEN 10,000%!"

This one's female.

Tell her she's late for training and to come with you to the dojo now!

>>361712
Drag to training and throw on the hot coals, then tell it to stand there until you get back.

1/4 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)12:13 No. 361733 ID: c811c4
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"LAAAAATE.Did the measly amassment of scales forget about the class that it has signed up for?! Tardiness is unacceptable! Anything less than hundreds of percents in effort will be met with death in inevitable combat! Know that Chop gives millions of percentages! Chop does not know or care for exact amounts, Chop does not do battle WITH MATH."

>"I'm really sorry, I got so scared! I knew a little magic, so I tried to go to the magic academy, but they tried to kill me, so I thought you would do the same!"
"CHOP DID NOT ASK THIS ONE FOR ITS LIFE STORY. Its training will be brutal, so that it will be able to become brutal back! Not to hide behind puny locks, asking for punishment!"

2/4 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)12:13 No. 361734 ID: c811c4
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>"Okay, let go of my eeears! I'll stand and come on my own!!"
"Chop did not hear you! The ears upon this head are unable to hear endless whining!"

3/4 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)12:14 No. 361735 ID: c811c4
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Chop believes half of the cave's new weaklings are here.

No, Chop is wrong. Another has shown up.

4/4 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)12:15 No. 361737 ID: c811c4
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>"Hey, sorry I'm late. It's hard to tell when the sun comes up around... here... I'm going on the coals, aren't I. You can't be serious."

Serious as a punch to the face! Which is what he'll be getting if he doesn't go on those coals.

How long are they gonna stand on those coals anyway? The first one to arrive is going to wind up standing on there the longest, if you let them all off at once. Better time it or something!

Chop is ALWAYS serious.

>>361737
Inform it that you're incredibly serious and that it is to remain standing on the coals until you fetch the last two.

"Chop is always serious. Get on the coals."

"MORE WHINING? The only one allowed to whine today is CHOP and that is because Chop has late students! WHINING IS A PRIVILEGE EARNED IN MY CLASS! TO THE COALS, PUNY BOLD! Do you not like coals? For bolds like me, coals are wonderful ways to relax and be energized! Why Chop could rest his testicles on them! In fact, CHOP DOES. Chop has personal bucket in quarters where just just sits his bum on. WAKES CHOP UP IN MORNING AND GIVES GREAT SURGE!"

This is so much fun. And yes, I agree with >>361739 , you need to time how long people are on the coals so it is all equal. WITH MATH. YES. I FEEL SUCCESSFUL. I AM ABLE TO TALK IN CAPS.

>>361739
>>361745
Existance is unfair, as is combat. They had better learn to deal with it right away. No need to time how long they stand on the coals. Although the last ones should have to do pushups on top of them while the others can do them off the coals. They don't get to move out of the spot until they have done 100.

1/3 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)14:24 No. 361768 ID: c811c4
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"Chop is always serious. As serious as a punch in the face, which is exactly what this flat cardboard cutout will receive, if he does not get on the coals immediately!"

>"Sighhhh..."

2/3 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)14:26 No. 361772 ID: c811c4
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"WHAT DOES THIS WEAKLING SAY!? THESE WALLS ARE THE DOJO, NOT THE WHINERY."
"It's our first day!!"
>"By the time Chop is through with this one, it will find coals to be a comfortable spot to sit a bum on! The only WHINING allowed is from Chop, from having not one, but all of these whelps arrive LAAAATE!!"
"I'm going, I'm going!"

Chop will most likely be punching him the most. Chop will decide later whether the difference in time spent on coals is worth a glance!

3/3 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)14:27 No. 361778 ID: c811c4
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Chop has to play hide and seek with the remaining two. Neither could be found inside of their homes, yet here, aside the cave's exit, two newcomers sit together as though having a picnic in a world of green grass and lollipops, playing laze-about with great focus.

Sneak up to them and yell as loud as possible. THE SMALL AREA OF THE CAVE WILL AMPLIFY THE YELL TO EXTREME PROPORTIONS, LETTING THEM KNOW WHAT WILL BE IN STORE FOR THEM IF THEY DO NOT MOVE.

"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEE!"

>>361778
Grab them by the ears and carry them to the dojo, then throw them onto the coals. Just tell them that you're very disappointed in them.

Inform them that it is not time for romance. It is time to train. They can play kissy-face when they're not LATE!

Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)15:08 No. 361797 ID: c811c4
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"THE CAVE'S SMALL AREA WILL AMPLIFY THE YELL TO PROPORTIONS OF THE MOST EXTREME NATURE, LETTING THESE TEACUPS KNOW WHAT WILL BE IN STORE IF THEY DO NOT MOVE."

>"Auuuugh I thought- I got the impression we could go when we were ready?!" The one who is most feminine dares speak. "I thought today was the earliest we cou --"

"LAAAAAAAAAAATE! IT IS TIME TO TRAIN AS OF THIRTY MINUTES AGO. THESE MAY PLAY KISSY-FACE AGAIN NEVER."

Now, finally, the training may begin! Chop feels conflicted at having the first recruit stand on coals longest, while these two, the latest of all, not get more than a glimpse! How shall this injustice be avoided?

Initial training will also be a test of mettle, to find these weakling's weak points.. these weaklings weakest points, and hammering them out!

>>361797
First on the coals, first off the coals. Give each one in turn a personal evaluation. So the others will have to wait while you beat the stuffing out of the first kobold, then the next, and the next etc.

The last two can get off at the same time since they stepped on at the same time.

>>361802
This is good idea,fair but still letting them slowly cook to MANLY PERFECTION!

>>361797
They get to do push ups on the coals while you evaluate the others. First one to arrive is first one off the coals, everyone else does push up on top of coals. Once someone has been evaluated they get to rest some until you're done evaluating everyone.

>>361802
This

>>361797
Yes. First on, first off. Any and all 'break time' will be spent on the coals.

By the way.. what are the chances that the draconic one is fireproof, and not being toughened up at all?

1/2 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)17:20 No. 361863 ID: c811c4
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"Ha! What a miniscule batch this month has brought in! It is time for the runts to listen! Chop shall call each runt one by one to test your current abilities, as pitiful as they might be!"

>>361851
Chop was concerned, but the draconic one appears to have no resistance! In fact, both it as well as the tiniest runt to its left appear to soon be reaching their wits end, after but moments!

>"Why are we stilll on the coals?!" The flat one asks. "It literally smells like we're cooking! Because we are!"
"Aha! Chop has almost forgotten, while I test your weak levels, you will be doing pushups while the earlier runts test! Did Chop not tell you about whining, puny one?!"
>"And that is another thing, we all have names! My name is Sodar-"
"PUNCHING BAG."
>"Wh- what?!"
"Your name is PUNCHING BAG. Chop shall call it this, because this is what it has shown itself to be, and Chop shall demonstrate this soon! No puny runts in this room will have Kobold names until they prove themselves to be Kobolds! Runt, whom slept for so long and came, rather, dragged, first! It's new name is "BEDHUGGER." The one who hugs upon greeting! It's name is "PRINCESS." The draconic kobold's name is "PUNYLOCKS", Punchingbag is PUNCHINGBAG, and from my right to left, there is "KISSY FACE ONE" AND "KISSY FACE TWO."
>"N-no! We weren't even doing anything, we were just talk --"
"KISSY FACE ONE WILL BE SILENT WHILE ON THESE COALS. All shall do pushups beginning right now, aside from BEDHUGGER. Bedhugger, come and face me!

2/2 Chop 2011/10/28(Fri)17:21 No. 361864 ID: c811c4
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>"Okay, sir. But I can barely stand up, and I can't feel my feet, and my eyes are still watering up! What am I supposed to do?"

>>361864
This is a "Come at me, bro!" moment if ever there was one.

"the first test is strength, hit me as hard as you can, and if it feels like anything more then a small insect landing upon me you will pass"

>>361864
Bedhugger's current strength must be assessed so there is a frame of reference to be known for any possible improvement from your training.

Bedhugger must give you his best shot, and punch you as hard as he can.

YOU WILL USE THAT PAIN AND HIT ME WITH ALL YOU HAVE!

"I want you to hit me as hard as you can."

Put your arms to your sides and leave yourself open without making a word. Stand like this and only stare. If this one is to become more than a puddle of baby tears, it must learn to act on its own. If he attacks, catch his arm and grab his throat in a choking gesture so that he knows he has died because of his weakness. Then toss him away from the coals and move down the line.

>>361864
You are going to hit Chop with your LITTLE BEDHUGGING PAWS and if Chop does not feel you have given HUNDREDS OF PERSENTS he will break your bed every day until you are no longer a PUNY WASTE OF MEAT.

"Take that pain, convert to anger, convert to rage, convert to adrenaline, convert to strength, and PUNCH ME IN THE FACE."

>>361864
Make him fight back. Put a hand on his head and start pushing him back towards the coals slowly. Tell him if he manages to get to the door he can go back to hugging his damned half- bed for a few more puny minutes. This should inspire him to force his way past the weakness in his legs. If somehow he does manage to make it past, drag him back when he picks the 'wrong half of his bed'

>>361864
The greatest test of the warrior is tenacity! Chop does not give millions of percents of effort by paying mind to injuries and cannots!

>>361864
He is to attack you with any means that he can as well as he can. The test ends when he's unconcious or you are.

1/3 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)04:04 No. 361981 ID: c811c4
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"Chop shall first test your strength! The LITTLE BEDHUGGING PAWS shall punch Chop as hard as it can! If there is anything less than HUNDREDS OF PERCENTAGES of effort, Chop shall punch back with THOUSANDS OF PERCENTS."
>"Yes, sir!"

fump

"Chop is unimpressed, but feels surprising strength from these little paws! Chop gives this punch three out of five stars.!"
>"O-ow! Th-that's pretty good, right...?"

"THREE OUT OF FIVE STARS ON THE RUNT SCALE. Next test is speed! Race to the door! If it escapes Chop's grasp, then the healers in the side rooms shall be allowed to heal bedhuggers feet, and it may hug its half bed!"

2/3 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)04:05 No. 361982 ID: c811c4
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"Ha! So the bedhugger can ignore pain at the thought of cowering in a blanket of magic!"

3/3 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)04:05 No. 361983 ID: c811c4
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"But it appears to be a sloth in and out of bed! Chop gives one star on the RUNT scale."

Chop shall test all recruits in this manner, but must test toughness as well! Shall Chop keep them on coals till their girly feets force them off, or beat them up until they're unconcious, or by other means?

Well, the coal treatment sounds about right.
But eventually their feet will get used to the pain of the hot coals, so why not use this to toughen up the rest of their skin when they don't feel it anymore?

>>361983
A test of toughness? The solution is simple: FIVE WAY BRAWL. The last KOBOLD WASTE OF MEAT standing gets their Their LITTLE SINGED FEET healed.

>>361983
Their feet are already charred. That would be an uneven contest. Go with beatings.

beating, but start with your weakest punch and get stronger. their score will be based on what punched knocked them out.

>>361983
Make them battle each other until only one remains standing, no rules for what they can do or can't do. Last one gets to have a go with you. Don't tell them that part until there is only one left standing though.

Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)08:47 No. 362026 ID: c811c4
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Some moments later.

"Chop now has a gauge on each waste of meat's strength and speed! It is now time to RECEIVE BEATINGS for ALL. The LAST KOBOLD standing shall be granted HEALING!"

>"You want us to.. fight each other?" Punylocks remarks.

"With bare fists, not these words that chew down my ears like termites upon wood."

>"Wait a moment! I can't... I can't just punch my friends!" Princess dares to dribble forth from so far down, like the puniest ant.

Chop feels confused, yet mostly irritated by this display of compassion, even amongst those who call themselves friends!

I still think we should administer beatings ourselves.

Having them stand on the coals for longer will take too much time, and making them beat eachother to unconsciousness seems like it would not foster team spirit. I mean, these kobolds will need to fight alongside eachother. Camaraderie is important.

Also one or two of these runts might decide that they would rather give the healing to someone else, and not fight to their fullest!

>>362026
"If Princess is too WEAK to beat, she can still be beaten by those with WILL and DETERMINATION."

Do you expect to survive in the world with HUGS and KISSY FACES?
How will you delay your friends' deaths if you cannot even PUNCH?

>>362026
Tell her that she's free to team up with her friend until only they are standing, of course by then one of them has to go down. Accept no excuses or ways out. The fight starts as soon as you finish speaking. Remind them that there are no rules on a battlefield.

"If Princess wishes to DEFEND its friends from COUNTLESS PREDATORS, Princess must LEARN TO FIGHT! DO YOU WANT DO DEFEND YOUR FRIENDS?!"

>>362026
"What, can't punch friends? Chop knows one of the funnest friendly activities is ragging on friends, emotionally or physically! The adrenaline rush and testosterone expended feels very great and increases friendship. So says Chop, expert of both fighting and relationship counseling! DO YOU DOUBT MASTER CHOP'S EXPERTISE?"

1/2 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)09:52 No. 362046 ID: c811c4
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"TRUE FRIENDS can PUNCH one another in the face, and come out with even STRONGER BONDS. So says Chop, expert of fighting AND relationships!"
>"What?! That's insane! You're insane! Friends don't punch one another!"
"Does PRINCESS expect to protect all it loves with HUGS and KISSY FACES? NO. PUNCH YOUR FRIENDS. LEARN TO FIGHT. FLATNOSE and KISSY FACE ONE aren't complete FOOLS, for once in their meager existence!"

smack
>"Ow, damnit, that hurts. Knock it off."
>"O-oh. Sorry."

"CHOP RETRACTS HIS STATEMENT."

2/2 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)09:53 No. 362047 ID: c811c4
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As much pain as it administers to Chop, Chop must admit that these sentimental mush piles must be hardened before they can BEAT ONE ANOTHER and still come out with GREAT FRIENDSHIP! Chop shall have them beat one another at a later date, when the time is right. As for now? Chop shall perform the original idea!

"THIS DISPLAY EMBARRASSES CHOP. LINE UP FOR BEATINGS BEFORE CHOP BLUSHES LIKE A SWOONING PRINCESS, IF THE COOKIE CRUMBS WISH TO PASS RECRUITMENT."

...

>"I-I'll go first. Please don't make me punch any of them."

Chop's eyes behold the DOCILE PUNYLOCKS showing a tiny drop of nerves, yet it makes Chop rain with satisfaction at seeing this morsel of improvement!

>>362047
Cast sleep.

show him your mighty magics.

Start soft and gradually ramp it up. If you go full strength on the first punch you're gonna knock out everyone in one hit and get no indication of how tough they are!

>>362050
This.

>>362050
Quite

1/4 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)10:58 No. 362059 ID: c811c4
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>"Why are you doing this? It's not right! Look at her! This isn't training at all!"
"Why?! The PRINCESS must clean out her rounded ears from all the ANGELS playing HARPS she must hear all day! Its toughness will be tested in one way or another, for those who wish to pass! And so Chop asks a question of PUNYLOCKS. Does PUNYLOCKS wish to pass?!"
>"Yes!"

2/4 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)11:03 No. 362065 ID: c811c4
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"SO BE IT. CHOP CASTS 'SCAN'."

THOCK

"...CHOP'S MAGIC HAS DEDUCED THAT PUNYLOCKS HAS ONE RUNT STAR, AFTER FALLING TO THE PUNCH MOST WEAK."

It is Chop's wish to tell Punylocks that Chop is proud of this display, and that Chop feels no enjoyment at punching SMALL CRYING CHILDREN! But Chop is no LOVE TRAINER! Chop shall be their enemy, so that these runts must look to one another for support against Chop's mannerisms, and see each other as irreplaceable allies!

3/4 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)11:03 No. 362066 ID: c811c4
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After all are knocked out, Chop summons the healers. He will await for them to wake up, and begin individual training!

>"Nngg.."
>"Sir! This one is waking up. He's fine, now."

It would appear KISSY FACE ONE is ready to begin individual training!

4/4 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)11:03 No. 362067 ID: c811c4
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KISSY FACE ONE has proven itself to be the toughest one to chew in a platter of SOGGY PUDDING. How shall Chop have this one spend its training time?

Strength training! Kissy Face One will punch a bag of dry beans with its PUNY LOVE FISTS until its STRING BEAN ARMS wiggle like a PRETTY BELLY DANCER'S MIDRIFF.

>>362073
Then it will CONTINUE PUNCHING.

It may also KICK, at its option.

>>362073
I cannot help but support this.

if it stops punching, it shall be placed inside a bag for Chop to punch.

>>362066
Aww looks it's Chee, favorite of the healers! Give her a friendly punch to show the class how REAL friendship is because she can take one like a champ and save face! Still insignificant to Chop, but all are insignificant to Chop!
>>362067
Strength Training so that we may feel more when testing him for it. The strength of these puny bolds are all pathetic.

>>362101
That might not be Chee.

Chee was lost and never found, remember Work of Chaos 1?

>>362073
>>362076
THIS

>>362073
>>362076
This is good, however it's MINUSCULE TOUGHNESS must be improved! While it throws it's BABY PUNCHES its USELESS FISTS will wear leather bags filled with the NICE WARM COALS it has come to know so well!

>>362151
Have you ever punched a bag of dried beans? It hurts. A lot. That's what they train child shaolin monks on before they move them up to punching brick walls with a little bit of newspaper in front of them.

>>362067
It must punch a bag of heated gravel while you shout encouraging slogans at it. As it passes out or throws up from that you will call the healers and then punch it until it passes out. Then it is next one's turn.

>>362073
no man he has to improve his tou-
>wiggle like a PRETTY BELLY DANCER'S MIDRIFF
ok. this is hilarious.
punching it is

1/2 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)22:46 No. 362210 ID: c811c4
File 131995356061.png - (69.39KB , 600x600 , 35.png )

>Punch Chee

Chop has enough BABY RUNTS to punch, let alone the RUNTIEST crumb Chop's eyes have beheld!

"Kissy Face One shall begin punching a BAG. Chop has no BAGS OF DRIED BEANS, so will settle for BAGS OF HOT COAL. Kissy face one shall punch it with its PUNY LOVE FISTS until its STRING BEAN ARMS wiggle like a PRETTY BELLY DANCER'S MIDRIFF. Should it decide to STOP punching, it may kick! Chop shall return to see its progress shortly, and expects to see the BAG OF COALS BEATEN INTO SUBMISSION."

2/2 Chop 2011/10/29(Sat)22:46 No. 362212 ID: c811c4
File 131995357791.png - (44.91KB , 600x600 , 36.png )

Chop sees that the other PUNCHINGBAG has risen from its WEAK-INDUCED SLUMBER.

>"..."

>>362212
SLOOOOOOOOOW

Get that string bean doing laps around the gym. The route also involves running over the coals. Running over hot coals is actually not so painful but it should be good training anyway.

>>362214
Not good enough! He will not go fast enough, no incentive! Instead he shall first carry a very large rock, and then run over the coals! But first the rock shall be made hot in the coals! This will make him FASTER and TOUGHER.

>>362219
FURTHER ENCOURAGEMENT: The there shall be a two rocks one he carries and the other sits upon the coals. He must switch his rock the rock he carries for the other. The longer he takes, the hotter the rock becomes!

And these cannot not be coals as hot as what they stood upon! MAKE THEM HOTTER!

So, PUNCHINGBAG has finished sniffing LAZY DREAM DANDELIONS? Since it has proven itself to be a punching bag, Chop will train it like one! Chop will throw you all the way across a field, and PUNCHINGBAG will rush at Chop with all the speed its LITTLE BIRDIE LEGS can give! At the end of its charge, it will make a PATHETIC, PIXIE-GIGGLING ATTEMPT to push Chop back. Chop will then throw it again and this will continue until it have managed to push Chop back THREE WHOLE FEET! If Chop does not see PUNCHINGBAG give HUNDREDS OF PERCENTS OF EFFORT in running, then Chop will make sure that only TENS OF PERCENTS OF ITS FACE ARE LEFT after Chop's fists have given it a PRETTY PRETTY BOO HOO MASSAGE.

Give him a hug.

>>362212
Punching bag needs to build up some endurance and agility. He gets to try to avoid your attacks for the rest of the day, your most puny and babylike attacks so he doesn't just pass out all of the time.

>>362243

this. and do go easy on him.

>>362220
FURTHER ENCOURAGEMENT. Make the insides of the rock be filled with water, so that PUNCHINGBAG can get STEAM in her PUNY FACE AND HANDS while he is running, Increasing the incentive to RUN FASTER or you will get your RUNT ARMS AND HEAD burned. The rock shall be refilled while it is on the hot coals.

>>362263
need the mages for that, if they are still around. if they do it then while they may be puny themselves they at least understand training.

>>362220
this

1/2 Chop 2011/10/30(Sun)06:41 No. 362274 ID: c811c4
File 131998210162.png - (134.65KB , 600x600 , 37.png )

Chop must polymorph ALL BABIES into MEN, and cannot personally train PUNCHINGBAG for long periods!

"So the PUNCHINGBAG has finished sniffing LAZY DREAM DANDELIONS? Chop shall reward this one with LAPS around the room! While carrying a LARGE ROCK. Another LARGE ROCK shall be placed on the hot coals, and PUNCHINGBAG must switch rocks each lap! The longer its TINY BIRDIE LEGS take, the hotter the ROCK shall become! If Chop does not see HUNDREDS OF PERCENTAGES OF EFFORT, Chop shall leave TENS OF PERCENT OF FACE left after Chop's Fists give it a PITY MASSAGE."

2/2 Chop 2011/10/30(Sun)06:42 No. 362276 ID: c811c4
File 131998217437.png - (57.44KB , 600x600 , 38.png )

Chop finds this PUNYLOCKS to be of AMAZINGLY LOW toughness, both of brain and body! Chop feels the need to put it to work before it assumes the POSITION OF BABIES.

"PUNYLOCKS will stand on the hot coals, and move around to block PUNCHINGBAG's path. The FASTER YOU MOVE and the LIGHTER YOUR STEPS the LESS PAINFUL THE COALS WILL BE. This will train AGILITY AND TOUGHNESS."

pushups/situps in the coals. if she is not doing one or the other at all times she will suffer the penalty.

>>362277
I think that would be as objectionable as punching her friends. We shouldn't have them directly interfering with eachother until they are willing to.
>>362287
I think that would set her clothes on fire. Let's endeavor not to do that.
>>362276
Hmm. Need to focus on toughness... Let's just have her punching coals too. Wait, no. Punching a bag of ice. Then have the two switch places every now and then.

>>362289
Yeah, the punchingbag idea is good if she won't block PUNCHINGBAG.

>>362289
Yeah. Setting her clothes on fire would either cause me to die or not cause me to die. I'm not going to risk it!

1/2 Chop 2011/10/30(Sun)09:10 No. 362304 ID: c811c4
File 131999104787.png - (41.27KB , 600x600 , 39.png )

Chop feels that PUNYLOCKS will perform poorly on purpose, if she is to fight PUNCHINGBAG.

"What magic does PUNYLOCKS know?"
>"Water magic, Sir?"

Chop finds this convenient.

2/2 Chop 2011/10/30(Sun)09:11 No. 362305 ID: c811c4
File 131999108264.png - (85.53KB , 600x600 , 40.png )

"PUNYLOCKS will perform PUSHUPS and SITUPS upon the coals! It may use water magic ONLY to douse the fires upon your clothes, should it occur!"

>"...okay!"

....

"Is this FEAR I sense from PUNYLOCKS?! Does it not know what a PUSHUP is?"
>"I'm sorry, I'll do it, I just, um..."
"CHOP DOES NOT UNDERSTAND STUTTER-ESE."
>"I'm pyrophobic!"

If you FACE your fear of fire like a MAN you shall come out STRONGER AND TOUGHER then ever!

>>362305
If PUNYLOCKS does not continue doing pushups and situps, it will become CHOPOPHOBIC from the resulting punishment. Now commence becoming less puny, PUNYLOCKS. Not being on fire is for quitters!

A pyrophobic dragon, now I've seen everything.

>>362305
Tell Punylocks that the best way to combat such a phobia is to stare it into the face and spit at it, every time she's at the lowest point she is to spit at the fire and scream out her defiance for its neverending hunger.

It looks like someone needs a hug.

1/2 Chop 2011/10/30(Sun)10:38 No. 362314 ID: c811c4
File 131999632527.png - (45.95KB , 600x600 , 41.png )

"PUNYLOCKS will face her fears! If baby dragon needs a HUG, it may HUG THE COALS. PUNYLOCKS shall become CHOPOPHOBIC if it does not perform pushups! Commence becoming LESS PUNY, scream at the HARMLESS FIRE each pushup!"
>"I'll tr-"
"CHOP DOES NOT ALLOW 'TRIES', CHOP ALLOWS SUCCESS."
>"OkayI'lldoit!"

2/2 Chop 2011/10/30(Sun)10:40 No. 362315 ID: c811c4
File 131999640056.png - (66.89KB , 600x600 , 42.png )

From Chop's left to right, BEDHUGGER, PRINCESS and KISSY FACE TWO have all awoken!

>"Sir, if I may, technically you have to 'try' at something to su--"
"If BEDHUGGER wishes to talk to CHOP in such a manner, than CHOP shall indulge in his own wish of snapping BEDHUGGER in twain like its BELOVED BED."

Princess: Join PUNYLOCKS.
Kissy Face 2: Join Kissy Face 1 on the opposite side, the two must try and knock each other over using the punching bag.
Bedhugger: BREAKDANCING. We call it BREAKDANCING because while you DANCE, CHOP will FLING STONES AT YOU. You must either DODGE OR ENDURE.

bedhugger joins in stone carrying, mark his two stones with the coals. if you see him carrying a stone without the mark he will suffer HORRIBLE PUNISHMENT.

>>362315
BEDHUGGER does the things with the rocks
PRINCESS, because PUNYLOCKS, BEDHUGGER, and PUNCHINGBAG are already using the coals, gets the pleasure of ADVANCED TRAINING of getting punched and thrown by CHOP to increase TOUGHNESS and AGILITY for dodging, because we can't have everybody doing the same stuff. We will hold back slightly because we are in HONOR combat, not PUNISHING PUNY KOBOLDS combat, WHICH SHALL BE TOTALLY DIFFERENT AND VERY VERY BRUTAL

KISSY FACE 2 will use SAME DEVICE AS KISSY FACE 1, BE PROUD YOUNG LOVERS I'M LETTING YOU SPEND PRECIOUS AMOUNTS OF PAIN TOGETHER!

>>362316
Okay no nevermind, BEDHUGGER does the breakdance thing and PRINCESS joins PUNYLOCKS because it freed up a space

>>362315
This sounds good.

They are UNCOORDINATED FLIMSY AND WEAK, in that order! They shall work together to be slightly less pathetic! The princess shall carry kissy face on it's tiny shoulders, and kissy face will carry bedhugger. It shall be a TINY TOWER of PATHETIC WEAKNESS! They shall stand and KEEP BALANCE as we throw coals at them! When they fall over the coals will increase HUNDREDS OF PERCENTS until they correct it! Strength from the bottom, balance from the top!

>>362325
Genius!

>>362315
Bedhugger does laps. Kissyface 2 gets another coal bag to punch. Princess joins Punylocks.

The tower of kobold seems like it would be really really silly. Also I think if Chop throws coal at them then they would not be able to endure for long. I mean, it's CHOP.

Chop 2011/10/30(Sun)12:32 No. 362350 ID: c811c4
File 132000314207.png - (130.57KB , 600x600 , 43.png )

>>362325
Hmm... Chop shall remember this TINY TOWER OF PATHETIC WEAKNESS for later, as ALL of these runts are UNCOORDINATED.

"PRINCESS shall join PUNYLOCKS. KISSY FACE TWO will be allowed to join KISSY FACE ONE to spend PRECIOUS PUNCHING TIME together! BEDHUGGER shall DANCE while Chop FLINGS ROCKS at him!"

Shall Chop personally oversee these runts who put on such STRAINED EXPRESSIONS over TRIFLING TASKS, or shall Chop leave the room, only to spy on these ones and see whom turns its tasks into a game of IDLE PLAY the most?

>>362350
Stay for a while, then tell them that their pathethic displays have made you a bit hungry and say that you're off to get something to eat for yourself. Then exit the room and spy on them a bit.

>>362351
yes, sounds good.

wait, any of the mages still around? could have one of them make the rocks magic so they fling themselves at bedhugger.

I say to stay and drive them until EVERY LAST MEAGER DROP OF EFFORT is drained from them. We will teach them HOW TO KEEP DOING THINGS on their own after they learn TO DO ANYTHING.

Oversee things personally.

They aren't ready to train themselves, your voice has not yet become their internal discipline. Don't bother spying, it won't be worth it. Stay and teach.

Also, have Bedhugger do what Punchingbag is doing, so you can pace around and correct form. I would also spend time demonstrating how easy these tasks really are for a real kobold.

>>361630
The first day needs to be the most GRUELING as possible. I say stay.

>>362350
Chop must stay for a while. There is no greater motivator then a delicious mixture of FEAR AND HATE. They no doubt hate you, and there is likely a measure of fear, but they need to be made to FEAR AS A RABBIT SURROUNDED BY FOXES. Right now they are tired, but their initial stamina is still there. You need to push them, hard, until they feel the TRUE DESPAIR that only being forced to your physical limit and knowing that there's hours to go can give. Then Chop should leave, because it is then that the ONES WHO ARE NOT PUNY AT HEART will continue, whereas those who stop will reveal themselves to be IN POSSESSION OF WILLPOWER EQUAL TO A QUIVERING BABY MOUSE.

Chop 2011/10/30(Sun)15:15 No. 362429 ID: c811c4
File 132001293692.png - (63.01KB , 600x600 , 44.png )

Chop looms over these runts, and their fear drives them onward for time! Yet as Chop walks, they indulge in WHISPERS as though Chop had no ears!

>"Do you think he'd notice if I just held this position for a moment?" Punylocks asks.
>Yes! Yes, he probably will, just keep going, switch between situps and pushups frequently, whenever the other two run on the coals, so he can't hear you move around too much! He can't expect us to do this literally forever, these trainers are mostly talk!" says Princess.

Chop continues throwing stones at BEDHUGGER, not pausing as PUNCHINGBAG limps by! Yet all give ACCEPTABLE PERCENTAGES until KISSY FACE ONE merely begins slapping at his task like a KITTEN BATTING AT THE AIR.

>"Keep going, keep going! He's looking this way, I told you to conserve your energy, you idiot!" says Kissy Face Two.

>>362429
Loom over him a bit extra and ask him if he's starting to feel tired.

>>362429
>Should it decide to STOP punching, it may kick!

Those arms aren't wiggling like a bellydancer's midrift quite yet! Start kicking, whelp!

>>362429
Remind KISSY FACE ONE of your issued directions, which involve punching and kicking the bag until the arms and legs CANNOT BE LIFTED, then CONTINUING TO STRIKE. Inform him that if he is deficient in his STRIKING, then Chop will generously make up his STRIKE QUOTA with a redirection of the occasional ROCK to his TORSO.

>>362436
>>362437
These

>>362429
If a horde of ANGRY SACKS OF COALS attack Kissy Face One's village, does it expect to defend its family with GLITTER SLAPS and LAUGHABLE FLAILINGS? KISSY FACE ONE WILL PUNCH UNTIL ITS ARMS WIGGLE LIKE A BELLY DANCER. Then it will kick.

As for the rest of the SWEAT-DOUSED RUNTS, do they think CHOP HAS NO EARS? There are no PRISSY TEA SOCIALS during training. Training is for making TRUE KOBOLD WARRIORS, not FLIGHTY PRINCESS BALLERINAS. A runt will speak when Chop tells it to speak! Otherwise, it is WASTING too many percents of effort on SPEAKING ITS WEAKNESS and not enough on KILLING ITS WEAKNESS.

>>362429
Show pride in Kissy face two. He is beating even himself with his many PERCENTAGES OF EFFORT. Then demand ADDITIONAL PERCENTAGES EFFORT.

>>362429
Negative on letting them know you can hear them, yet. So far their whisperings have been constructive, convincing punylocks not to slack off, and kissy face two suggested to kissy face one to conserve energy, which while counterproductive to training, is at least not terrible advice. No Kobold can face a threat alone, and in addition to their normal training, these puny would-be kobolds must also become a team able to work together to defeat any threat. As long as their talking is working towards that goal, it can be overlooked... to some degree.

But yes, judge if kissy face one can't punch any harder, or whether he has lost the will to. If the latter, yell at him to punch harder. If the former, yell at him to punch harder while also reminding him that when he can no longer punch he may begin kicking.

>>362530
Yet Princess is undermining our authority. Besides, you can't work as hard when you're speaking, because both your breath and your focus are divided. This is physical training, not combat drilling, so team-building and communication are not yet concerns. Right now, we need to establish that Chop's Dojo is sacred ground, and for them to respect what we respect, they must first respect us. Besides, they're all suffering though this together. That's team-buildy enough.

1/2 Chop 2011/10/30(Sun)23:29 No. 362597 ID: c811c4
File 132004254524.png - (92.21KB , 600x600 , 45.png )

"Chop is left to wonder what KISSY FACE ONE would do if a horde of ANGRY SACKS OF COAL were to attack this cave? Does it expect to defend it's family with GLITTERY SLAPS and LAUGHABLE FLAILINGS? Chop does not see BELLY DANCER WIGGLINGS from KISSYFACEONE's arms!"
>"My, family, sir, is..."
"Then it shall KICK for its new family, until it can stand no more! Then after that, PUNCH MORE! Chop shall commend it for using its MAXIMUM PUNY STRENGTH, yet expects ADDITIONAL PERCENTAGES EFFORT."
>"Yes, sir."

"Chop feels that all others have gotten the belief that CHOP HAS NO EARS. These walls do not harbor PRISSY TEA PARTY SOCIALS for FLIGHTY PRINCESS BALLERINAS, only for FORGING TRUE KOBOLD WARRIORS. If it has strength for ONE WORD, it has strength better spent for another LAP, PUNCH AND PUSHUP."

good, that means he has given all he has. once he passes output him off to the side and let the mages heal him again so he gets back up and continues. once he is awake commend him for working that hard, but also say it is bad he passed out and expect more out of him.

2/2 Chop 2011/10/30(Sun)23:30 No. 362599 ID: c811c4
File 132004260102.png - (54.11KB , 600x600 , 46.png )

Chop's senses inform that PUNCHINGBAG is on the verge of PASSING OUT from WEAK MINDEDNESS.

Push him on verbally. Give him something to focus on. Make him angry enough to push through the pain his PUNY body is experiencing.

>>362599
"Even your PUNY BODY has more to give than your BARELY THERE MIND, CONTINUE WALKING, FOCUS! If you PASS OUT before passing the coals, they shall be your BED, and the rock your PILLOW!"

>>362599
Is PUNCHINGBAG going to HUG THE GROUND like it was SOFT PILLOWY BED? Chop not think that good idea. Then BEDHUGGER get jealous and BOO HOO HOO in PUNCHINGBAG'S EARS! Maybe PUNCHINGBAG wishes to FROLICK IN FIELD OF WEAKNESS AND LAZYFLOWERS! But maybe Chop too hard. Chop let you sit. Sit UP! HA! PUNCHINGBAG can take place of PRINCESS and PRINCESS take PUNCHINGBAG job! Those rocks not move themselves!

Chop: Reveal secret to THOUSANDS OF PERCENTS OF MUSCLE MASS

>>362611

I wanna know this too, actually. how the hell does a guy get that big?

Suggestion 2011/10/31(Mon)02:41 No. 362641 ID: 5eea01
File 132005411147.gif - (10.82KB , 600x450 , story762.gif )

>>362629
Drugs.

While yelling at them in PROGRESSIVELY SILLY phrases is fun, these lot will actually be on the front when the goblinelvish hordes hit. Let's go for mental training to work their mental weakness. Announce that what they feel right now is nothing like crawling in the dirt with your torso ripped open while everything you care for is being butchered. Surviving a war in their current fraility is more impossible than completing your training. You can push further towards survival, PUNCHINGBAG, or you can drop dead.

>>362599
Let him pass out, then wake him up and inform him that you need at least one more lap out of him before he's allowed the luxury of passing out.

Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)07:07 No. 362651 ID: c811c4
File 132007005996.png - (31.45KB , 600x600 , 47.png )

"Is PUNCHINGBAG going to HUG the GROUND like a SOFT PILLOWY BED, as though it were BEDHUGGER? Chop knows if it is STANDING, it is capable of RUNNING, if it FOCUSED on anything other than FROLICKING IN FIELDS OF PETUNIAS AND PANSIES. It expects to survive a fight like it is? This is NOTHING to CRAWLING IN THE DIRT with its TORSO RIPPED OPEN while ALL IT LOVES IS DYING. It will push further to SURVIVAL, or drop dead!"
>"Gahhhh, shut up shut up! It's easy for you to say, all you do is yell at people, hiding away where its safe, just because you're freakishly big! You wouldn't know a damned thing about what you're talking about! You're just damn lucky you're so huge!"

do something badass that looks impressive even given your relative size.

IE: lift a much much bigger boulder

and some bolds.

"If the PUNCHINGBAG thinks to PROVE ITSELF SUPERIOR, it may request a SPARRING MATCH with Chop, in which CHOP WILL MAKE IT TRUE TO ITS NAME."

SO. The puny ones finally DARE to challenge Chop's authority! Chop will now demonstrate what MILLIONS OF PERCENTAGES OF EFFORT look like!

Then punch a suitably huge rock in half.

If Chop were not FOCUSED, DETERMINED, and TRAINED, he could never break the rock, no matter how HUGE AND BULGING his muscles were.

PUNCHINGBAG. For its DISRESPECT, it will hang from the ceiling like a FRIGHTENED BAT BABY while Chop uses it to EXERCISE HIS KNUCKLE MUSCLES. That way, PUNCHINGBAG can finally FULFILL ITS DESTINY AS A PUNCHING BAG and fill its overly-affectionate mother with pride. OVERLY-AFFECTIONATE BECAUSE IT IS SO WEAK.

Find the puniest soldier in the base and have him beat punching bag up, show him that size matters not.
also
>>362662
delete your extra posts dude.

Chop needs only to describe his role in THE ACTIVE DEFENSE of the home you share with ALL THESE PUNY RECRUITS.

And don't forget to tell them COMBAT STORIES FIT FOR A PROPER SOLDIER.

You are not here for being HUGE AND MUSCLED, but because you are a HARD WORKING, DEDICATED WARRIOR

What is this? Is PUNCHINGBAG trying to ANGER THE CHOP? Does he not know Chop is immune to such BUTTERY LITTLE BABY INSULTS? Perhaps it is time Chop showed the SLOW-BOLDS how WARRIORS DO IT.

Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)10:34 No. 362686 ID: c811c4
File 132008244910.png - (101.36KB , 600x600 , 48.png )

WHAM

"If Chop were NOT focused, Chop would not have been able to resist landing this punch upon PUNCHINGBAG's FRAGILE SKULLBONES. Chop shall allow it a DUEL IN COMBAT if it thinks it is better than Chop! It will even allow the PUNIEST SOLDIER to battle PUNCHINGBAG to show how weak PUNCHINGBAG is. Punchingbag shall make up its mind or begin RUNNING FULL CHARGE, before Chop's FOCUS BEGINS TO FALTER."
>"Yeah, you'd let me fight one of your lackeys after you wore me out! Let me rest a day, and I'll kick the ass of your 'puniest!'"

Chop is ready to turn PUNCHINGBAG into LIVING EXAMPLE.

>>362686
He wants to rest? Put him to bed. Via punch.

>>362686
Call in your puniest soldier, then tell Punchingbag that he might hug the ground somewhere in the dojo, your puniest soldier gets to do what Punchingbag did previously for as long as he did, then it's time to fight.

>>362689
Oh, that's a better idea. Match the exertion, then the fight can commence.

Exhaust yourself to his point, LIFT EVERYTHING!

Hmm
this PUNCHINGBAG is standing up for himself at least
It isn't fit for Chop to be mad and crush PUNCHINGBAG or make into LIVING EXAMPLE, Chop is no brute or petty! Chop better than that! Chop make all students GRAND or DIE TRYING, offer fair chances, CHOP WORK WITH STUDENTS STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES AND INSULT THEM FOR MOTIVATION, but Chop still must make PUNCHINGBAG know his place as STUDENT. Chop not really feel that you all are actually less than himself, BUT CHOP STRIVES FOR BETTERMENT! THAT IS THE POINT OF CHOP'S DOJO! CHOP NOT HERE TO ESTABLISH SUPERIORITY, CHOP ALREADY KNOWS IS SUPERIOR! CHOP HERE TO SHAPE UP KOBOLDS INTO KOBOLDS WITH GRIT!

>>362689
yes, the puniest soldier will easily do exactly what punchingbag has done and STILL beat him.

Sorry 'bout the extra posts.

This one needs to respect chain of command. Announce that you will do ten times as much work ten times more quickly and then beat Punchingbag. Then tell him to begin acting like a warrior, not a crybaby. Every one of the warriors went through this and came out the other side a true kobold, ready for battle. He will get no special treatment.

>>362707
The lecture comes after you beat him, by the way.

1/2 Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)12:50 No. 362716 ID: c811c4
File 132009063950.png - (53.11KB , 600x600 , 49.png )

"STASRUBIS."
>"Sir."
"This PUNY TWIG in our midst feels that COAL-SWITCH LAPS is too EXTREME an EXERCISE. You shall do laps in its stead while it rests, until you have gone on for as long! Then both shall fight each other! Does Stasrubis understand?!"
>"Sir."

2/2 Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)12:52 No. 362717 ID: c811c4
File 132009073847.png - (81.42KB , 600x600 , 50.png )

As Stasrubis performs his duty and PUNCHINGBAG rests, it appears to Chop that PRINCESS is unable to perform its latest pushup.

"STASRUBIS. Why are you missing an EYE and an ARM?"
>"Neglected training, sir."

PRINCESS remains INCAPABLE, despite its GREATER EFFORT.

Maybe after Stasrubis finishes kicking ass, we can let him mingle with the breadcrumbs, so that they might know what a real soldier is like?

>>362717
Ask Princess what the problem is.

>>362732
..while pointing out how much better Punylocks is doing, considering she is actually afraid of fire.

Princess is still holding herself up. Don't say anything until she collapses; the girl is still making an effort to destroy her own weakness.

1/2 Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)14:16 No. 362740 ID: c811c4
File 132009578448.png - (61.73KB , 600x600 , 51.png )

"It appears PRINCESS has a PRETTY LITTLE PROBLEM, right alongside PUNYLOCKS, who is doing better in the face of SELF PROCLAIMED FEARS."

FUMP

"S-sorry, sir! I can't move my arms anymore! ow ow owwwww"

2/2 Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)14:17 No. 362742 ID: c811c4
File 132009582817.png - (54.90KB , 600x600 , 52.png )

>"Come on, come on..." says Punylocks.

Punylocks' COMPASSION is showing through as it drags PRINCESS off the coals.

dragging the wounded out of battle is fine as long as they get back into it as soon as they are done. if punylocks doesn't go right back to working out as soon as princess is off the coals then prompt her.

"Good, you've done it to the point that you've almost passed out. Excellent work, TINY PRINCESS! You get a name upgrade to QUEENIE! Good teamwork and caring there as well, PUNYLOCKS! Though after your done carrying her to safety, BACK TO THE COALS! Or shall I offer you the reward of choosing your next exercise? IT must still be CHOP's type of brutal training but SELF-DISCIPLINE is the best DISCIPLINE! QUEENIE when you get your energy back we'll begin on bettering your STRENGTHS!"

>>362742
Princess now gets to rest with her knees at a 90 degree angle. It will be very restful. Punylocks goes back to pushups.

There's nothing wrong with giving up as long as you understand that it means that your friends will have to make up and possibly die for your weakness. Have Punylocks do her pushups while carring Princess on her back.

>>362751
Until Princess is rested enough to go again, of course.

>>362746
Way too early to be heaping on that kind of praise. They're just now starting to earn a little bit.

Since Princess cannot use its arms anymore, it will use its core. Sit ups!

Hopefully, Punylocks won't have to be told to return to doing pushups.

Did PRINCESS forget that it could do sit-ups?

1/2 Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)15:01 No. 362768 ID: c811c4
File 132009851430.png - (30.87KB , 600x600 , 53.png )

"Did PRINCESS forget SITUPS were allowed?"
>"Um, she couldn't do anymore, Sir. And I'll go back on the coals!"
"Did PUNYLOCKS hope to be called PRINCESS? If this is the case, PRINCESS may have 10 MINUTES as a reward for pushing itself to its limit!"

2/2 Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)15:02 No. 362769 ID: c811c4
File 132009857348.png - (91.93KB , 600x600 , 54.png )

MINUTES later, all have pushed themselves to LEGITIMATE FAILURE. Shall Stasrubis fight Punchingbag in front of this audience, or shall that crush its ego too far?

>>362769
Ask him if his MIND IS MUSHY LIKE PORRIDGE FOR HIM TO FIGHT YOUR SUPERIOR STUDENT. who IS STRONG LIKE NOT BOWL OF HOT OATS.

Punchingbag shall fight in front of his friends.

In front. All must be taught that your training is effective. Also, they might learn something from the demonstration.

Hey, are there no healers in the fort that are good enough to cure missing body parts? Maybe you could get help from someone outside the fort for that sort of thing, every now and then.

>>362769
He needs some public humiliation to drive home the lesson.

>>362769
A WARRIOR has no need for EGO LIKE OBESE CAT because he knows that no matter how NON-PUNY and NOT-PATHETIC he is, any battle could be his last. He must always treat every opponent DEADLY SERIOUS. For Chop to make these LITTLE SISSY GIRLS understand this he must first BREAK THEM. Only when they are soft like TENDERIZED MEAT will Chop be able to MOULD KOBOLDS LESS PATHETIC THAN LEGLESS PUPPIES. The first to be SMASHED INTO PUTTY should be Punchingbag, since he is clearly the most rebellious, like a SCREAMING BABY. Once he is QUASHED beneath your heel the others will follow. Stasrubis will show him how low he truly is.

Have them watch, yeah.
If he wins, he just beat up a cripple.
If he loses, he just lost to a cripple.

It's really lose-lose for him here.

>>362786
So evil but so awesome, it's a cheeseburger submarine sandwich!

1/3 Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)16:25 No. 362804 ID: c811c4
File 132010352062.png - (42.09KB , 600x600 , 55.png )

"PUNCHINGBAG. STASRUBIS. Choose your weapons! Each shall fight in front of the RESTING RUNTS, to show HOW PUNCHINGBAG STANDS AS IT IS. Shall PUNCHINGBAG stand down and concede, or test its might?"
>"You can't be serious. Is this a test to see if I'm going to beat a crippled kid? He's not even choosing a weapon."
"Does CHOP have a JOKING CLOWN VOICE?"
>"Yeah yeah, I may have come here as a refuge, old man, but I was still the best in my old camp! I'll fight him!"

Hm. PUNCHINGBAG is steady of hand, and, despite its EGO LIKE AN OBESE CAT and WEAK OF BODY AND MIND, it is wary of Stasrubis. Chop can see that it is plain skill that is this one's strong point. It has the slightest CRUMB of skill to back up its GREAT WALL OF WORDS.

2/3 Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)16:26 No. 362806 ID: c811c4
File 132010359956.png - (49.91KB , 600x600 , 56.png )

PUNCHINGBAG prepares his second fist, letting his first swing slide as a feint! Using what its opponent does not, fighting for victory. It is the correct idea, however 'honorless'.

3/3 Chop 2011/10/31(Mon)16:27 No. 362807 ID: c811c4
File 132010362076.png - (88.64KB , 600x600 , 57.png )

SNAPOP

Nevertheless, it has much to learn.

>>362807
Continue to observe! Punchingbag's reaction to injury will speak to the worth of his tenacity. He still possesses an equal number of arms and one more eye than his opponent, after all! Is the advantage not still his?

if punchingbag doesn't pass out from the pain then inform him that he was the best in his village because everyone else was simply bigger baby then him.

>>362807
We'll need a healer after this, I see.

>>362807
such as humility. which apears to be stasrubis' doctorate.

>>362807
Continue to observe, he's named Punchingbag after all, now he can be one for a while until he has properly learnt his lesson.

I think Stasrubis has this match in the pocket.

Isn't it time for the hearty post-exercise breakfast anyhow? The recruits have been pushed to their puny initial limits and will need proper nourishment to recover and grow stronger.

Should the next lesson be to teach the recruits the noble art of falling? There will be much falling over ahead and it's best if they can do it without breaking their necks.

>>362809

I like this.

1/4 Chop 2011/11/01(Tue)08:37 No. 362962 ID: c811c4
File 132016185439.png - (33.74KB , 600x600 , 58.png )

PUNCHINGBAG has not finished yet! It grabs the sword with its remaining grip.

3/4 Chop 2011/11/01(Tue)08:38 No. 362964 ID: c811c4
File 132016188234.png - (18.11KB , 600x600 , 60.png )

snap

4/4 Chop 2011/11/01(Tue)08:38 No. 362965 ID: c811c4
File 132016189508.png - (54.85KB , 600x600 , 61.png )

>"GOD-G-DDAMN-FUCK-GI-FUCKING WRISST GOD DA-INGGAHHHDAMNIIIIIT"

"STASRUBIS has won this fight, and shall bring PUNCHINGBAG to the medics, where they will slowly mend his bones for the day! To all the other RUNTS, Chop shall expect this to be remembered! It is time for BREAKFAST to be DEVOURED. BREAK shall be EXTENDED for one hour, at which Chop expects all to be at FULL POWER."

Select:
-BEDHUGGER
-PRINCESS
-PUNYLOCKS
-KISSY FACE ONE
-KISSY FACE TWO

PUNYLOCKS! I gotta see how this timid and adorable half-dragobold reacts. :3

>>362965
Lets have a closer look at Kissyface One.

Oh, and that fight was hardly over. Punchingbag still had both of his legs left, if you can't punch then kick, if you can't kick then bite and if you can't even bite then roll into their path and try to cling to them with your dying breath.

Punyglocks

>>362965
Punylocks. Always.

I'd have to go with the adorable Princess or Punylocks.

>>362965
PUNYLOCKS

Got to support punylocks <3

PUNYLOCKS

The human-head training dummy.

Punylocks!

Punylocks. We shall transform this pathetic excuse for a Kobold into a highly skilled dragon/kobold combination.

Voting for BEDHUGGER, here.

PUNCHINGBAG will need his arms for more rock laps later. You may allow him to feel shame.

Stasrubis is to be commended - for though he is still most puny in relation to Chop, Chop is reminded after teaching these weak baby-children that Stasrubis has since graduated to baby-manhood.

Chop is pleased.

Princess.

Punylocks.

Punylocks

>>363002
Stasrubis isn't a baby-anything.

Lumei 2011/11/03(Thu)21:19 No. 363497 ID: c811c4
File 132038037615.png - (162.71KB , 1000x571 , 62.png )

>"Hello. You look a little shaken, are you doing alright?" Bedhugger asks.
"I'm... I'll be fine. Is everyone else still getting food?"
>"Yes, if they're not still trying to wash the coal out of their fur, or running for their lives. May I sit next to you, Puny.. ah, that's not your name, is it? Of course, I'm not "Bedhugger" either."
"My name is Lumei, and sure."
>"I'm Klabis. Just remember, there is no shame if you cannot stand Chop or his training, and quit. I'm sure they told you about the turnover rates."
"... mhm."

>>363497
Hey, there's a soldier over there. You could ask him for advice. It's still possible to go back to the mages, if you think you can stand the thought of facing those fireballs again... it depends on if you want to focus on the physical or the magical.

>>363497
That is no way to think! Chop's training may be unorthodox and extreme, but just look at Stasrubis! Even missing an arm and an eye, he fights with deceptive strength.

And consider the your fears - Chop may be the only kobold here who will ever help you truly break free from them. If you studied under both Chop and the mages, you could become a truly courageous and fearsome BATTLEMAGE, with the strength of mind and body to protect all who need protecting!

Consider it, Lumei.

>>363497
A good point is made. Plus, you're like half-dragon, right? You've probably got a ton of physical potential. Eventually, the village is probably going to be attacked, and you know that you'll want to be able to help protect your friends when it is. That's why you signed up for this, right?

Also, yeah, ask the soldier for advice, he's been through this.

Like hell there isn't shame. All you have to do is persevere and drag yourself to Chop every day. He'll do the rest of the motivation fine and well. Anyone can become a warrior because anyone can endure and keep trying. But few do. Remember that your training is the act of being a warrior itself. Never ask yourself if you want to continue, only ask if you want to be a warrior.

True... you could quit... but A) think of all the ridicule you'd get from Chop if he ever saw you. Heck... that 'Punylocks' nickname might stick and B) You DID just spend who knows how long atop BURNING COALS. For someone that's afraid of fire, that's impressive. Cruel, maybe, but impressive. Who knows how far you'd go if you spend longer with his training?

>>363508

You have the potential to become the strongest, become the Drakobold you are meant to be.

>>363497
Well you're better than all of those lousy quitters, you're going to see this through to the end and become even stronger than Chop! Then you're going to kick his ass.

>>363508
>half-dragon
Half draconic kobold. Bit of a difference there. Nothing to be ashamed of or anything, but it isn't as if she has a breath weapon and all that.

1/2 Lumei 2011/11/04(Fri)10:42 No. 363586 ID: c811c4
File 132042852162.png - (172.57KB , 1000x563 , 63.png )

I'm half draconic-kobold, so there's no real dragon in me. Iiiif I had to guess, I would be a bit more physically able than an average dog-bold here. I'm not sure what the average is for those who pass are, though.

He says there's no shame, but I'm sure I'd feel that way. I already feel incompetent from running away from the mage guild. Maybe this way, I can get over that fear, too.

"I'm not going to quit, not this far!"
>"Oh, certainly! I'm sorry, I did not mean to sound as though I wereadvising you otherwise... may I ask how long you've been here?"
"Only two days, how about you?"
>"One week. I do not believe any of us have been here for longer than a couple, in fact, we're all refugees as far as I can tell. As are most people in these caves. There are shockingly few who have been here for longer than a couple years."
"Why is that? Is it so tough?"
>"I have no idea."
"I did hear that the first day is the toughest in these training plans. I hope that's true, I'll admit! Hm... Hey, mister, soldier!"

>"Hm?"
"Is the first day here the toughest?"
>"... it doesn't matter. Just go for as long as you can, miss." the soldier looking one says.

I don't like the sound of that. It didn't help that he sounded like he was reading from a script, as though he's answered this question an awful lot already.

Ah, someone else is coming in.

2/2 Lumei 2011/11/04(Fri)10:42 No. 363587 ID: c811c4
File 132042857488.png - (308.81KB , 2433x973 , 64.png )

....

It's Stasrubis.
He's sitting next to me, and he's not saying anything at all.

....
....


>"Do I scare you?"

Errr

>>363587
Give an honest answer.

Which appears to be "yeah kinda."

"Nope. Just that the awkward silence as you sat down was kind of awkward and unsettling. Unless you want me to be scared, then yes I will be very much scared of you, just let me know if you want me to be scared because it's easy when the guy wanting to be scary is a total badass."

>>363587
Confirm that he is a little bit scary. After all he did break a guys wrist and dislocate his shoulder as easily as snapping a twig, and it didn't even look like he was really trying. I mena if he's the weakest of Chop's disciples then the strongest must be some sort of asskicking kobold machine or something. It's all rather overwhelming.

>>363587
He's certainly intimidating, since we know how strong he is... and he seems a little distant... Ask him if he has any plans to get his body parts re-healed.

naw.

1/3 Lumei 2011/11/04(Fri)12:34 No. 363612 ID: c811c4
File 132043527180.png - (118.24KB , 800x800 , 65.png )

"Nooo, not.. not really. A little maybe. A little."

He's terrifying.

>"....oh."

.....

"It's... you snapped punchingbag like he was a twig, and it didn't even look like you were trying."
>"I wasn't."

.....

"... should I be scared?"
>"... sorry."

2/3 Lumei 2011/11/04(Fri)12:35 No. 363613 ID: c811c4
File 132043532231.png - (39.14KB , 600x600 , 66.png )

"Ummm, do you have any plans to get your body parts back?"
>"No."

.....

>"An ogre magi did this."

.....

>"With necrotic magic. Cursed magic. Healing might backfire."

.....

>"Enemies don't know that, so they don't try to heal me."

.....

>"I'm alright."

3/3 Lumei 2011/11/04(Fri)12:35 No. 363614 ID: c811c4
File 132043535293.png - (86.18KB , 800x600 , 67.png )

Oh, princess!

>"Hello again. We didn't get properly introduced! I'm Sheemus."
>"Klabin."
"I'm Lumei, it's nice to meet you!"

Stas seems like he needs a friend, or... something... jeez.

Um, anyway, why don't you ask the others what they think of how this is going so far? :v

>>363613
Look at this poor guy! He's given so much to help others, and he's an outcast for it!

You need to make this right! Seduce him with your awkward flirtations!

>>363614
All of them need to be friends, and Stasrubis should be one too. Besides everyone being happier for it, the training group being friends will help them all get through it, and Stasrubis can also help with advice perhaps.

>>363616
I think being a friend is good enough, and there no need to force that either.

>>363614
Stasrubis might be terrifying, but remember; he's on your side. You should try to make friends with him! You faced your fear of fire today, why not keep the ball rolling and make friends with him? He's got experience with Chop's unique form of training, he might be happy to help you if you asked.

Hey, look at the bright side! Chop didn't do that to Stasrubis!

You guys are goin to be juuuust fine.

As long as you aren't late. Ever. Again.

I bet he's a hoot at parties.

Lumei 2011/11/04(Fri)14:53 No. 363635 ID: c811c4
File 132044359684.png - (95.72KB , 800x600 , 68.png )

>Make friends with Stasrubis

"Hey, uh, Stasrubis?"
>"...yes?"
"I uh... um..."

I have no idea what to say!

>>363635
Well you could ask about how he got here and stuff, see if he was a refugee like you and then try to get some information about what it's like here and what people do for fun.

>>363635
Ask him how long it took him to get as strong as he is.

How long he's been here, does he do or enjoy anything outside of training, his opinion of Chop, advice for training, what are the duties usually given to us refugees, etc. Just pick one and roll with it.

>>363635
Tell him he's so manly and awesome.

>>363635
Maybe you could ask him for some private training. Chop's training's brutal and simplistic. It provides an increase of your basic fitness, so it would be good to have someone show you some more refined techniques, or if that's too much then maybe just some tips.

>>363635
He isn't trying to scare anyone. He's a member of the community, a protector of it, in fact. And he continues to do so after the loss of an arm, ear, and eye. Some people, after something like that happens, would look for something different to do with their lives.. or be required to.

That little man is a hero. And he very likely understands the situation you're in now, since Chop was his teacher, and Chop is Chop.

Ask him how long it took before he realized he had become so strong.

ask him if he has any pecs

1/4 Lumei 2011/11/04(Fri)23:34 No. 363725 ID: c811c4
File 132047485816.png - (47.32KB , 800x414 , 69.png )

"You're really strong."
>"Thank you."
"How long did it take you to get so strong?"
>"I've been training under Chop for four months."
"Wow, you're.. a little scary, but that's amazing! Um, it might be a little much to ask, but, maybe you could help me practice? I mean, Chop seems to focus on fitness, rather than weaponry and grappling."
>"..."
"I mean if you want to! You don't have to!"
>"... yes."
"Huh?"
>"I'll help you."
"Oh, thank you!"

2/4 Lumei 2011/11/04(Fri)23:34 No. 363726 ID: c811c4
File 132047487493.png - (71.73KB , 800x800 , 70.png )

....

"So... how did you come to live here?"
>"My previous village managed to steal a couple too many steel weapons from the dwarves."
...
>"So they attacked a bit more often than usual."
...
>"We didn't know if it was about the theft, or if they were just getting more offensive in general. So we stole more weapons to protect ourselves better."
...
>"It turns out it was all about the theft, after all."
...
>"We fought pretty well. Well, others did, I didn't know how to fight back then. We kept stealing and using their weapons against them."
...
>"Then we stole an artifact."
...
>"They didn't like that."

"I'm sorry!"
>"Why?"
"I didn't know you lost a home."
>"But you're the same, right?"
"Huh?"

3/4 Lumei 2011/11/04(Fri)23:36 No. 363727 ID: c811c4
File 132047496812.png - (112.09KB , 900x900 , 71.png )

"Er, well.. why do you say that?"

>"I saw you arrive, with no family or friends. You're not a natural fighter either, I can tell. But you've come anyways. We get people like that. Everyone here at this table, in fact. None of us are natural fighters, none of us came here knowing anyone who lived here already. Despite that, we all have some reason that made us go into a profession that we don't belong in. I could be wrong. There are other possibilities. But I'm right, aren't I? We're all here to help make sure we don't have to lose another home."

4/4 Lumei 2011/11/04(Fri)23:36 No. 363729 ID: c811c4
File 132047501432.png - (104.92KB , 1000x666 , 72.png )

....

>".... I'm."
"What?"
>"....... I should go."