Esasmus 2011/01/12(Wed)10:42 No. 270906 ID: f604d6
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Gentlemen.

>>270906
You fucked the demon didn't you? No wait, if you had then you would probably be dead by now. Fucking succubi and their soul sucking powers.

Anyway, got everything you need? Oh, do you have any contacts in the vatican? Or that monastry that your file said you were trained in? Some holy mojo could be useful in the future.

Esasmus 2011/01/12(Wed)11:27 No. 270916 ID: f604d6
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First of all, the monastery was more of a dojo. It had nothing to do with any invisible sky wizards.

Secondly, I do not have everything I need. What I need is an effective long range weapon, high-power optics and camouflage tailored for the target environment. Out of these three, high-power optics is the only thing we can acquire without knowing far more about the enemy.

Lastly, I did not fuck the demon. I have a strict females-only policy.

>I'm sure you have all kinds of great ideas and theories you want to share with them.

Theory: What we expected was an invasion by creatures with a mindset similar to our own. Our first contact shows this assumption is false. The mindset of demons is in no way related to or understandable by a human being.
The "demon leaders", if they even have a hierarchy, might send children to fight just to amuse themselves. They might send in demons which have angered their overlords (similar to how in the past criminals were press-ganged into human armies).
They might be just batshit crazy, but that's the last thing I'll assume.

Or the brat is a demon spy and has shape-shifted to a rather harmless form in order to peirce on our defences (which is unlickely, since this was our first contact, and the demons should not know anything yet about our force (Right, Smeth? You didn't just put the Masterplan_to_repel_demon_invasion.doc on your desktop?))

Anyway, since demons might have some kid of precognition, the spy-theory, although unlikely, isn't off the table, yet.

>>270916
High-power optics sound reasonable. We should put it on our list.
How about a .50cal Barret for a rifle?

So, you had contact with the demon? What kind of impression did you have? Where does the team keep it? What's the rest of the team doing? What is the progress on demon science?

>>270916
Good for you. Sticking your dick into the supernatural tends to end poorly. While the monastary was more of a Dojo they might still have connections that would be useful. So if you could ask them that would be super.

As for long range weapons, a Accuracy International AW should be able to take down most things. They're a bit expensive though, so you might have to wait a bit for it, atleast until we can figure out if it will work or not. But hey, we got a demon to try things out on now. Should probably gather up what weapons you guys have and get the good doctor in there and then test fire the things on the demon to see how it works. You know stuff like how they react to being shot, how fast they heal and stuff like that. Should be great fun.

Oh by the way, do you know any other spy fellows?

>>270919
They're demons. I wouldn't put it past them to already have possesed quite a few mortals and gathere knowledge about our world. Can probably infest dreams as well. Can't put anything past them. Best assumption is probably that they know quite a bit about how society works and shit. Why they sent a little girl through is probably a bit different though, could be that they're simply wondering how we would react. That and she could be a sleeper agent infiltrator.

We will need to learn more about them to say for certain. But I do think that our demonic foes have the advantage intelligence wise and that they do have some diabolical plan here. Or the gate just sucks through random demons who are close. We will see.

>>270916
What, they sent a crossdresser over? Also, we need to know where Agent Smeth got the intel that there was a demon invasion in the first place.

Also, we seem to be operating on the assumption of some sort of competence on the part of our enemies. We may need to revise that.

>>270916

So are you saying the Demon is a trap, or not counting it as a female because its a demon?

Not that sleeping with demons is a smart move. I'd avoid it if possible. Even if they have nice tits.

Don't worry about a gun, we'll find you a Barret and some a decent scope. We can load it with a variety of effective rounds, including Armor Piercing Explosive. Or throw some DU at it. And it has an effective range over a mile. Ghillie suit will wait until we know where we're deploying. Anything else you need? Bullets rinsed in the pope's mouthwash? Nunchucks made from mother teresa's bones?

Esasmus 2011/01/12(Wed)12:38 No. 270942 ID: f604d6
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I'm saying HE has COCK AND BALLS.

When we - and by we I mean Skalfak and Ka kicked me out without good reason after I managed to get untied - interrogated HIM, HE promised with extreme vigour that HE'd return the pencil HE stole if we did not rape and eat HIM. We also discovered that "they" told HIM that the tableknife was a legendary enchanted superweapon and that he had been "chosen" to be the "harbinger of Satan's wrath". HE was also surprised to learn that males do not usually wear skirts.
Other than that, the good doktor only managed to get a blood sample before HE was fully convinced we intend to rape, torture, eat and kill HIM and Ka suddenly started arguing about methods of interrogation with an obvious and poorly hidden agenda - which I know because the good doktor needed some fresh air and told me. What we do know now is that at least demon brats are as vulnerable as any human brat and are no lesser bullies.

As for the monastery and fellow spies, I know nothing.

>>270942
Ok, so demons are jerks and like to play around with magic. Good to know.

Guess he's pretty much worthless as a prisoner. We should probably kill him and then let the good doctor dissect him, or possibly do a vivisection, might be able to learn more that way. In either case, once we're done we sell the bodyparts. Should be a market for it out there.

>>270942

It's sounding like the demon's superiors sent him through as a sick joke.

What did you glean about Ka's agenda? She seemed a competent mechanic, why is she involved in the interrogation anyway? If anyone, I'd want Doctor Vergewaltiger to be working with just Skalfak and you, and... wait, the women kicked you out?

What the hell are they doing to that demon?

>>270949
Hmm, yes that is quite worrying. Better make sure they're not tasting any forbidden fruit. That rarely ends well.

>>270942
>>270942
What the heck is going on? Go check on the prisoner, accept no shit. Sergeant Major Skalfak is the leader, but she must not allow this mission to be compromised.

Demon boy might have been trolled by his overlords.
He might also act innocent while secretly sucking all your souls out.

the doctor should brief us about the demon blood and any other observations he made.

Lick should NOT be preparing to blow up the HQ.

Esasmus should go and check on the prisoner. Get Skalfak to test some firarms on the prisoner (start with legs and arms at first).

But beware! Could be, that the demon gets superstrong if he gets in contact with lead or heat or some shit like that.

Esasmus 2011/01/12(Wed)13:33 No. 270961 ID: f604d6
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I was kicked out because apparently I was getting "too familiar" with the ladies. I do not know what they mean.

As for Ka's agenda, I can only quote the good doktor:
"Ze voman is a as a child on khristmas. Ze prisoner may not feel like sitting for a very long time."

He did tell me he has the blood sample under investigation but it does not look like demons have any inherent biological capacity for corruption. As far as we can tell, the prisoner is no more dangerous than any human brat. And as far as that goes, it is a good sign.

>>270961

Oh, now I get it. Yeah, you enjoy your cigarette.

Didn't realize Ka was into spanking.

>>270961
Well you're a sneaky bastard. Sneak over there and peek to make sure nobody is getting too familiar with the demon.

>>270961
I don't think she's spanking him.

>>270961
I... I don't know if it's even possible to be "familiar" with Skalfak...

Anyway, let's order your equipment and look at how the interrogation is coming along.

How do you feel about the mission, Esasmus? What do you think about the other team members?

>>270961

Lesse, what were Dakka's interests again? Oh yeah, I believe the quote is "Interests include and are limited to machines, booze, machines, sex, machines and machines. "

Whatever, I think we should have, like, a debriefing. Or run some more tests. Can we go down to the local hospital and requisition some tests, like an MRI or whatever? Probably check with herr docktor about that.

Maybe we should hire a demonologist to get more information on this stuff.

Also test out the butter knife. See if it really IS enchanted somehow.

>>270988
in b4 the knive goes through ferroconcrete.

Esasmus 2011/01/12(Wed)14:43 No. 270998 ID: f604d6
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Yes, I suppose I could snea...

Oh balls.

...oh god

>>270998
Oh she is fucking good. We made a good choice when picking her. Anway, time for a way to explain your presence and stop Ka from anally violating the demon with her pink strapon (you might want to remember that she seems fond of dudes dressed like girls, dominating them and using strap ons if you ever feel horny in the future. Or not, depends on your taste). Tell Skalfak that there are new orders from above. No sexual relations or actions with demons until further notice. People who disobey that command gets thrown into the brig.

Then we can get on with the testing of stuff on that little fucker. Starting with religious icons, see how well those works. Then we move on to firearms. After which it might be vivisection time.

>>270998

Indeed. You're down here on orders, to make sure we're continuing to operate above board. And snuggling demonic traps in busoms is not in the handbook. If ol' ironsides wants to challenge, she pass it up the chain of command.

Okay, we might want to invest in a spiritual specialist at this time. Following our previous trends, the obvious choice is an irish priest.

Until then, I vote the docktor begin poking it with various substances until something makes its skin boil.

Skalfak 2011/01/12(Wed)15:59 No. 271019 ID: f604d6
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Well, the knife and religious icons worked pretty much as I assumed.

I'm pretty sure of the effectiveness of bullets - and acid, if you're interested in boiling skin - but there's no harm in being certain, right?

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow..."

>>271000

We have a brig?

>>271019
If you just shot him then bullets doesn't seem to have the effect we're after. But piercing damage and knives seemed to work. Going to have to get out the crossbow then. Also try blessed bullets that have some holy symbols carved into them. Oh and silver, also possibly salt, those might work.

>>271029
Well we have the place where we're holding the demon. But other than that, no. We could build one though. Or just let Sergant Skalfak beat the living shit out of anyone breaking the order.

>>271019

As in the religious items had an effect? Good. Everyone is required to wear an appropriate religious item.

Do something non-lethal, for now. Like the the foot. Though... maybe an autopsy from ze good docktor might be in order. Nah, we could just run some medical scans, like X-rays to find out most of that stuff.

>>271030
Oh wait, that pain is probably the acid. Ok fire away, don't kill him yet though. There is still the vivisectioning to do.

>>271030

Add cold iron to that list. Make sure the rocksalt is the salt.

We might consider engaging in intensive interrogation regarding the leadership structure and society of the demons, in between our physical tests. We could really use some more information, even if all this one has is basic civilian-level knowledge.

Also, what languages does the demon speak? I'm curious.

>>271032

The demon is in pain because Ka used a dildo to peg the little sucker.

Ahhh, that gleam in her eye... I love you, Sir Double-Faggot... That is who you are, right?

>>271019
Sergent, don't play too hard. Try not to cause permanent damage.

>>271040
Actually, I think she just threatened to do that while kneeing him in the balls.

Esasmus 2011/01/12(Wed)16:52 No. 271043 ID: f604d6
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What the good sergeant major meant was that utensils and religious symbols are only good for spicing up a boring old punch to the groin. Bullets and acid have not been tested yet. Holy water likely has no effect other than superficial moistening. Unless the good doktor's research shows otherwise, we'll be assuming that demons are merely people and have no magical properties. The portals are still a mystery, but there is an entire mountain of potential explanations.

But right now I am happily observing a pleasant development: Ka and Skalfak are having a slight difference of opinion regarding the use of the prisoner in live experiments.

Ah, if only I could have an opinion in the middle...

>>271043
Please point the camera towards this argument. We need to gather more information on it.

>>271043
So demons are actually just red human beings with no special powers, but who live through giant hellgates and like to be total dicks to one another?

Well, hell. This should be easy. I mean damn, with that kind of society I don't know if they need our help with dying. They'll probably just all kill one another.

Unless of course there's some sort of power structure we're unaware of here.

>>271043
Go see the doctor. You appear to have picked up a case of weaboo, symptoms include byt are not limited to bleeding from the nose as a sign of arousal, acting like a dumb fuck around women and various other bad things. Lets hope he can cure it.

Put in your own opinion in the matter by shooting the demon in the foot and beckoning to Ka to come with you. That should take care of a few problems.

>>271047
He's bleeding from the nose from punch-to-the-face syndrome. Same as the black eye. Stop hatin.

>>271048
His nose doesn't look like it has been punched. The black eye is rather evident. But his nose looks perfectly fine.

>>271043

I hear you, brofist. Tell us if it comes to blows, we want to watch.

But hey, Dakka, we'll get you another to play with. We need this one for SCIENCE!

DOCKTOR, BEGIN WITH ZE EXPERIMENTS.

Esasmus 2011/01/12(Wed)18:05 No. 271059 ID: f604d6
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The best slight difference of opinion or the best slight difference of opinion?

May they never agree!

>>271059
I'm authorizing the use of a modest portion of our funds for wiring our base with security cameras. In case of infiltration, escape, or other nefarious activity, of course. Esasmus, you're assigned to ensure that all relevant footage is carefully analyzed and securely stored.

>>271059
... that is quite hot. Hmm, you should probably break that up before they do something that both will really regret. And hey, you might get a chance to "accidentally" fondle some tits while breaking them up, you should probaby not do that to Skalfrak though, she might not appreciate it and break your balls. Ka might be happy with it though, play your cards right and you could get lucky. Otherwise just ask the doctor for sedatives, bring them both down and then get on with the experiments.

Can't help to think that this is somehow part of the demons plan. Insidious little fuckers that they are.

Live experiments should be humane. Best not to become the demons we plan to fight.

Although something concerns me. Could this be a strong demon pretending to be weak? I guess it's unlikely at this point.

POWSE Esasmus 2011/01/12(Wed)18:30 No. 271068 ID: f604d6
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Let's just observe the situation for now. Haste makes waste, you know.

>>271059
...Holy shit what the fuck did we just miss.

>>271066
Why would we want to be humane? Our team are violent psychos and our foe is not included in any sort of treaty. Time to bring on the atrocities in the name of efficiency.

>>271059

Well, clearly we need to leave them to settle their differences on their own. But we must also remain and observe, in case this goes to far.

>>271076
Our prisoner appears to be some kid that was trolled into going off to die in a humiliating way.

Our prisoner is ALSO an expert on demons, and apparently very easy to manipulate.

Boss! Recruit a cute female xenophile demonologist! Somebody that has an entirely inappropriate attraction to demons and would defend our prisoner against the other violent psychopaths on the team would do a great job of swaying him to our side, and with that kind of intel at our back there would be no way they could beat us.

>>271068
Well, normally I would say we should try to enforce discipline, but we got our ragtag band of misfits..., no wait, a band of psychatry escapists.

I think Skalfak is the more rational/military minded one, so I would lend my support to her. But judging by her frame she won't need any help win this argument.

Wait until they are done, but when in doubt, help the sarge.

>>271162
Still not seeing any reason not to use him for live weapons testing and then carve up the body to sell on the black market.

Hang on a tick.

Are you saying HE is speaking the same language as everyone else here? Isn't it slightly... odd, that a 'demon' youth would be speaking the -exact- same language as us?Doesn't anyone else think that? I mean, we've certainly got enough languages on our own here.

So, consider me still suspicious, if not of the nature of the kid, then of his purpose. I think the good doctor should conduct a medical interview of the subject while the ladies busy themselves. Ask him a few questions, try to trip him up in the case he's some kind of infiltrator/stooge meant to lull us into a false sense of security.

Esasmus 2011/01/13(Thu)08:19 No. 271191 ID: f604d6
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They came to an agreement.

>>271191
Jesus. Titty. Fucking. Christ.

Tell her not to swallow. STDs are bad. STDs from hell are worse.

Anyway, round up the team, let's try to do something constructive.

>>271191
Ok, now that a... er... FRIENDLY RAPPORT has been established with the demon, we need to do this: >>271162

>>271172
Because you can't un-target practice or un-carve somebody up if you decide you want information out of them.
Don't worry; we'll shoot plenty of demons and sell their parts for cash, but lack of information has been a major stumbling block and getting this guy and a demonologist on our side will correct that with that.

Esasmus 2011/01/13(Thu)08:26 No. 271196 ID: f604d6
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Now if you'll excuse me I will go lie unconscious on the ground for a moment. You'll have to play with someone else.

>>271196
SERGEANT MAJOR. SITREP NOW.

>>271196
AGENT SMETH! We need to hire a cute straight/bisexual xenophiliac demonologist!

>>271196
Oh right, let's check on the prisoner... WAHT IS GOING ON?!

Dr. Vergewaltiger is the only team member without -3 Int, let's jump to him after Esasmus sissied out. Maybe we can put the brakes on this failtrain...

>>271191

... Well, it could be worse. The Docktor would probably advise against ingestion as well. It could cause an allergic reaction.

Poor kid. Shoved through a portal with a butter knife and a skirt, now being bandied back and forth between being dominated sexually by an older (looking) woman or being repeatedly gun shot, burned or exposed to acid.

Ah well, it's just a demon. Speaking of demons, I'm in on that demonologist plan. We need to A( do away with the need for experimentation, and B( get a better look into the minds of our enemies.

>>271191
God damn it, what's so hard about the no demon fucking rule? Esasmus, you're going to have to take care of her libido. No rules against fucking team mates.

>>271195
Still don't see why we need the chump.

>>271196
Lets go to the good doctor. Time to get someone brainy on the job.

Vergewaltiger 2011/01/13(Thu)09:27 No. 271208 ID: f604d6
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My tests are finished and as far as I kan tell, ze demons are little more than kolored people with horns. An ekspert kould tell more, but I do not believe ve need to prepare for magikal. Bullets should vork just as zey do on Earth - zat is to say, if ze demons are vont to grov very large or there be a spezies of large demons, ve vill need large kaliber veapons. Othervise regular infantry veapons should suffize.
Zis is also somevhat of a relief in regards to medikal kare, as demons are likely to use veapons similar to those of ours - kontemporary or historikal.

And I dare say taking ze offenzive is nov a possibility as ze environment behind ze portal must be klose enough to Earth konditions.

As for zis "failtrain" as you kall it, I vash my hands entirely of it. Ze ladies are skary enough as it is and differ too much from my tastes to validate ze risks.

>>271208

Right, so, exit the room, and while doing so, make some remark about "safe sex" as you go, and go take Esasmus to the infirmary and apply first aid. At least get him some tissues for his nose and a steak on that eye.

>>271208
Offensive? Maybe in the future.

If we go through a portal, which will probably close behind us, we will be in unknown, hostile environment. Without a clear goal. What should we do, kill every demon in sight? We can't even tranport enough ammo for that. I mean, it's where they live. Besides we'd need food and rations and whatnot....

We need to know how to create and control portals. Do small, quick raid attacks on their infrastructure.

I hereby propse to purchase one of those small, remote controlled helicopter drones with cameras. They are not too expensive. We could send it thorugh the next portal and take a look at the other side.

Goals:
Repel any further attacks.
Get more intel.
Acquire portal technology.
Find a valuable demon targets.
Change from defensive to offensive behaviour.

Right now, try to get Esasmus combat ready. Hell, try to get the team back into a respectable state. Portals might pop up in the city's powerplant, for all we know. And this time, the demons might send more than just a kid.

>>271208
Put a anti-tank rifle on the list. Should be fairly cheap and enough to take out the biggest motherfucker they can throw at us.

Seconding the helicopter-spy. Also advising RC-cars strapped with C4.

Finally, HOW THE FUCK DID AGENT SMETH KNOW ABOUT THE INVASION? He may be a redskin in disguise.

Agent Smeth 2011/01/13(Thu)10:48 No. 271226 ID: f604d6
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I knew of the invasion because it's the agency's business to know and the agency has many sources. Reliable sources.

By the way, portal opening at the Nova Pori go-kart track.

>>271226
Right. We haven't even had time to go shopping... Handcuff the demons arms behind his back and his legs together, then tie the two handcuff chains together so he's hog-tied or whatever. Then throw him in the back of the jeep. Other than that, TEAM GO!

>>271226
Boss! Recruit a cute female xenophile demonologist! Somebody that has an entirely inappropriate attraction to demons and would defend our prisoner against the other violent psychopaths on the team! Obviously, she must be straight or bisexual.
Our intel problems would be solved!

Have her meet us at the go-kart track!

Skalfak 2011/01/13(Thu)12:21 No. 271242 ID: f604d6
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The jeep was even faster than the taxi - and less vulnerable to minor obstacles like mailboxes and pedestrians.

What now? We have nothing to dig holes with this time and no explosives. Will it be another joke or are they going to make a proper attack? Do we want another prisoner?

>>271242
Prisoners are always useful, if it's possible to capture them. Get the redneck on siphoning gas from any cars in the area, have Esasmus look for whatever fuels the go-carts, and have Ka set up a go-cart so that you can make it zoom forward on command. Might just need a stick jammed in so it presses down on the gas, I dunno, I'm not the mechanic. Use the fuel to turn the cart into a improvised explosive burny thing. Hopefully Lick still has some remote detonators, otherwise you'll have to shoot it.

Then hotwire a bunch of civvie cars that are mostly gas-drained and park them in a line as a barricade. If the lot of you are strong enough, flip them on their sides so that there are no gaps.

>>271242
explosives may be excessive in this case. hang a moderately large rock over the portal.

>>271242
Take no chances. Kill rather than capture, if the life of a team member or the security of the city is threatened.

HEY LICK. THANKS FOR WASTING OUR SPLOSIVES. ITS YOUR MISERABLE LIFE.

>>271246
This. Although this could take more time than we have.

Trying to produce some kind of cover is most important, the rest is bonus.
If necessary, sacrifice our jeep.

Spread the team a bit. Cover the portal from multiple angels. But stay within hearing range / in eye contact.
Geez, did we forget a comset? Radios? Even walky-talkys would have been great.

Sergeant Major, instruct your team. You have combat experience, I leave the details to you.

Take cover and watch to portal.

Could the go-karts be used as a form of cover, or could the go carts be used as a flanking charge measure for those who don't have a weapon they are comfortable with?

>>271250

Well, you take point, Sergeant. You're the most hardcore badass here. The Docktor is also a competent combatant fighter, as a former member of the German mechanized infantry.

Other team members need to fall back, since we have no explosives and no battlefield to engineer. Did we at least get Esasmus his Barret? So y'know, he can do overwatch?

Skalfak 2011/01/13(Thu)13:38 No. 271267 ID: f604d6
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No, we only have the SCAR-Hs Smeth dropped at the first portal and do you really think letting these bastards anywhere near a go-kart would be a good plan?

"...oooooooo don't pull thE LEVVVEEEERRRRRRRR!"

Speaking of portals, this one is closed now. But there always has to be a catch.

Can we start shooting now?

>>271247
...Wait to see if he can move first. He seems to have concrete shoes.

>>271267
Feel free to open up. I would suggest aiming for the face.

...It looks like he can't even move.

...Are they using earth as a bloody dumping ground? Like the mob dumps people in the ocean?

>>271277

hmm... that actually sounds likely.

>>271277
My first thought

No, what I think is happening is there's a team similar to ours on the other side of that portal.

Think about it; what do you think we'd do if we were in their position? You KNOW DAMN WELL we'd just throw a bunch of random douchebags through to see what happened.

On that note, we may just want to start returning these guys. Kind of like Christmas presents people get you that you never asked for and never wanted.

Of course if you wanted to have some fun we could play this like the Bay of Pigs; keep collecting these guys and then send them back through armed and ready to take back their homeland. It could be fun.

>>271267
"Who are you and why are you here?"

Agent Smeth! Hire that cute hetero/bi female xenophile demonologist and send her here! We could use the help!

>>271282
A great plan! We need a mook. Find some one-star disposable jackass, dress him up like a princess or something, and next time a portal opens shove him through. Give him a nerf machinegun.

>>271282

Holy shit, do this.

See if cement shoe knight won't explain what the hell is going on, then see if another demon can't get girlboy to talk a bit more about why they're being sent through.

If these guys are disposables or exiles, time to start arming them and then send 'em back to hell with superior firepower

>>271284
...No. We're not sending somebody through with no support for no reason ('We want to know what would happen' does not work as we have no way of viewing what happens on the other side of the portals). We need at least vague justification.

Skalfak 2011/01/13(Thu)14:30 No. 271287 ID: f604d6
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"UUUUAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH AUUUUUUUUGHH HHIIIIEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAUUUUUUGHhuff... huff...AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH HUUAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEIIIIIIIGHH*gasp* huffEEEEEIIIIIUUUUUUAAAAAAAAOOOOOOUUUUUEEEEEEAAAAAGH*hnnnggh*AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEE
EEEEUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Well, I think he's probably voided his bowels by now.

Stop wasting ammo and go crack him out of that thing and see what this one's deal is.

>>271287
Cease fire. He's just a turtle. I doubt he can even stand up.

>>271289
...This. Bloody crazies.

This isin't working. Run it over with the jeep.

>>271287
Looks like you're going to have to turn him around to shoot through the faceguard.

And this is a bit worrying. Means they can make armour that is very bullet resistant. Might have to change tactics a bit. Might have to get your guys some MGLs to give future demons a proper warm welcome.

Holy shit, what IS that metal he's wearing, to have bullets bounce off it? Or maybe it's just really really thick...?

At any rate, approach with caution. He's still got a grip on his sword and could lash out. I won't bother telling you how to disarm him, I'm sure you're trained for that.

>>271294
NOOOOO, don't word it like that! They'll literally disarm him!

Guys, just approach, take his sword away, and then drag his sorry ass back to home base or something.

>>271297
Can't see why it would be bad to take his arm off.

I'm not sure why it's surprising that bullets are deflecting off that thing. You know the general anatomy of these things based off the first one; that guy's wearing at least inch-thick metal if not even thicker.

Call the Fire Department and have them jaws-of-life the guy out, or better yet buy your own and do it yourself.

Skalfak 2011/01/13(Thu)15:58 No. 271311 ID: f604d6
File 12949631257.png - (32.58KB , 870x540 , npdt0217.png )

"A-any change you're just u-unconventional j-judges...?"

Oh lord.

We really need to set ground rules for prisoners. Something like Ka and Erasmus are never allowed to go near them. Ever. For any reason.

Better yet, No. These are just random-ass teenagers being flung through a portal.

New rule: Next portal you see, fling any demons you have back through the portal. Interrogation is a waste of resources and a waste of time; you might as well go to the nearest highschool and start beating on people for all the use it's going to do.

Your agency information is fucked, Smeth.

>>271311
Well, our course of action is obvious. First, tie her up and gag her. Then, transport her back to base. Keep her well separated from the other prisoner- don't even let them know that we have more than one of their kind. Give her a full medical examination, just like the first one- we need to know if there's any significant physiological variation beyond that which one might expect in humans.

Aside from that... eh, whatever. Make sure that all interactions with the prisoners are properly recorded and logged.

Strap it to the hood of the jeep, the trunk is already taken. Burn rubber.

...What the fuck. Seriously. What the fuck is going on. Are they just throwing people through as bloody PRANKS?

>>271320

Yes. Demons are apparently juvenile pricks, much like human college frat-dwellers.

Hence why our current operation (AKA treating this like a military invasion) is completely unnecessary at this time.

Take her back to 'base', have Doc give her a once-over and a long talk about not trusting random assholes who want to fling you through a portal to another dimension, ask if she knows the other kid we picked up, and go from there.

Until then, for all intents and purposes, treat this like a civilian operation. You're dealing with ordinary plain-clothes fuckwits, not PoWs.

>>271311
Is she wearing a swimsuit...?

>>271311
Judges? Ask her what that's about.

Skalfak 2011/01/13(Thu)17:01 No. 271326 ID: f604d6
File 12949668728.gif - (18.25KB , 870x540 , npdt0218.gif )

The new prisoner has been tested and no significant physiological variation was found and the prisoners have not met before.

Now for the records and logs on interactions with the prisoners:
1420: The prisoners were separated to stop Ka from trying to conduct "important scientific experiments".
1421: Ka was separated from Prisoner 1 to stop Ka from trying to "interrogate" the prisoner.
1422: Ka was separated from Prisoner 1 to stop Ka from trying to "interrogate" the prisoner.
1422: Esasmus was separated from Prisoner 2 by means of 15 meters of duct tape.
1423: Ka was separated from Prisoner 1 to stop Ka from trying to "interrogate" the prisoner.
1424: Ka was separated from Prisoner 1 to stop Ka from trying to "interrogate" the prisoner.
1424: Esasmus was separated from Prisoner 2 by means of 50 meters of duct tape.
1425: Ka was separated from Prisoner 1 to stop Ka from trying to "interrogate" the prisoner.
1426: Permanently ceased all attempts to separate Ka from Prisoner 1.
1429: Increased the separation of Esasmus and Prisoner 2 by means of 160 meters of duct tape.
1445: Confined Esasmus outdoors until proper facilities can be built to protect the prisoner.
1450: As an afterthought moved Prisoner 1 from the list of prisoners to list of Ka's personal items.
1500: Convinced Lick that Prisoner 2's breasts do not contain explosives.
1530: Vergewaltiger removed palm from face.
1531: Prisoner 2 cautiously inquired about her score. Vergewaltiger placed palm on face.

>>271326
Mrrrrrrrgh. Fucking. Crazies.

>>271326

This is some sort of reality TV show equivalent for the demons isn't it?

>>271326
They're using psychological warfare to undermine our defenses! We need to counter with the same. Acquire a great deal of pornography. Say, $1000 dollars worth. Bundle it up and toss it through the portal.

If they're going to distract our team with sex, we can do the same.

Inform prisoner two that she scored full points for presentation, but her technical score barely cleared a two.

Why the double standard with Ka and Esasmus though? repetitive separation vs physical restraint.

>>271331
Also, a thank-you note.

>>271330
I have a feeling you are right on the money. We should check the base for any extradimensional cameras.

>>271326
>1450: As an afterthought moved Prisoner 1 from the list of prisoners to list of Ka's personal items.
oh god, the poor thing

Yep, kick them through the first portal you find.

Consider replacing Ka. She has yet to be useful in any capacity but has been quite a large nuisance her entire stay on this team. Better yet replace Esasmus as well; do you really want to be on the same team as people who will willingly screw extra-terrestrial creatures on a whim? Ask yourself; are these the kinds of people you wish to work with?

You're team leader, Skalfak. You're responsible for the actions of your team members. If they won't bend to your will, you need to force them to see things your way or cut them loose.

PAUSE Skalfak 2011/01/13(Thu)17:28 No. 271339 ID: f604d6
File 129496849892.png - (14.35KB , 870x540 , npdt218p.png )

1535: Scored Prisoner 2 10 presentation, 2 techical.
1605: Stopped Lick from trying to instert detonators into Prisoner 2's breasts.
1610: Attached Ka's face to Ka's Personal Toy's groin by means of 10 meters of duct tape for lack of better entertainment.
1630: Ka has still made no attempt to remove duct tape.
1800: Ka's Personal Toy begged for mercy. Ignored him and went to a bar. Really starting to regret this job.

>>271338
ThisthisthisthisthisSOMUCHTHIS

>>271338
What? No! Replace Lick! Stupid fucker hasn't done anything useful AND wasted an assload of c4. Ka is at least highly decorative.

Ok, you know what? The hell with it (No pun intended). Replace or simply fire EVERYONE but Skalfak and Vergewaltiger, who are actually SANE.

>>271339
Everybody: Quit abusing the prisoners.

...Failing that, at least let Erasmus loose for the sake of equality.

>>271346
Actually, yeah, this is for the best.

Come on now, we can't go firing half our team just yet. We might need these guys when actual dangerous demons start showing up

>>271326

Sarge, I understand that you are, in fact, a woman, but we cannot tolerate such sexism in the work place. Seriously, you're just giving Ka 1 but you've locked Esasmus out?

We need to either forbid fraternization between prisoners period or just let them both have at it. Of course, I'm assuming, since its a demoness with tits bigger than her head, consent isn't an issue.

>>271334
>>271331
>>271330

Actually, I suspect the demons must prefer anime to reality TV. I mean, seriously, crossdresser in a schoolgirl outfit, and a busty chick in a school swimsuit thats a little small for her? We should "thank" them by lobbing back something mind-altering. Like Evangelion. Or we could give them anime porn.

Oh, and Smeth, we seriously need to consider that demonologist thing. Our interrogation has yielded no information on the demonic leadership. We need an expert to better understand our enemy. And a demon-expert is the best way to do that. That, or some kind of strategist. WE MUST KNOW THE ENEMY, TO DEFEAT THE ENEMY.

>>271338

Esasmus would do his part if we could get him his rifle, and put him far, far away from the target zone. Or we could lob him through the next portal to infiltrate enemy territory, but that sounds like a bad idea.

Ooh, ooh. I know, next time take some kind of camera device, and lob it through the next portal that shows up. Ka can actually be useful for once, in rigging up the system.

>>271346
Are you sure this is the right Quest for you?

Well in all honesty, Vergewaltiger and Skalfak are the only two competent members of the team who are sane and capable in any capacity. I've ignored Lick due the fact that his wasted C4 was our fault.

For reference, Lick has bad hearing. If you want him to do what you want, all you need to do is YELL AT HIM LIKE THIS SO HE CAN CLEARLY INTERPRET THE INSTRUCTIONS YOU'RE GIVING HIM. It was an error in judgment on our part that, knowing this, will hopefully not be repeated.

As for the prisoners, there should be an easy solution to this: Vergewaltiger and Skalfak are the only two people allowed to interact with the 'prisoners'. Should anyone other than Vergewaltiger and Skalfak be found with the prisoners, Skalfak is authorized to pummel the offender's face in, until such a time that said offender does not feel like going anywhere near the prisoners anymore.

Treat this like a military base. You don't have your grunts messing around with the prisoners. The ones that do receive a court martial. Since we don't have a military judge, Skalfak is going to have to be Judge, Jury, AND Executioner; your one-stop-shop for justice.

Besides, after the massive headache she's most likely feeling after the events of today, I'm sure she'd be happy to take it out on the people who gave it to her.

>>271352
This is not SERIOUS MILITARY QUEST. This is SEXY COMEDY QUEST.

H'arright.

Vergewaltiger. Interview whichever demon isn't being furiously boinked. Just, y'know, ask them where they come from, and what they were doing, and what they ARE on their home world (students?). I get the nagging feeling we're either being the butt of someone else's idea of a joke, or being deliberately mislead to think the demons are largely harmless.

And may I make a suggestion? Next time a portal opens up, bring the two 'prisoners' with you, and throw them back through before it closes.

>>271356

If we do do this, make sure to hurl them back at the next demon that appears, with appropriate one-liner.

alright, we have 750,000 standing on supplies. And the varying competencies and issues have been proven. As such, allocation of funds is as follows:

150,000: Holding Bay/Prison/Brig: Use of an electronic key allows access to prisoners, standard conditions will include bathroom, cot, and a way to give prisonrs food and water without opening the door (ie: basic prison setup, with electronic key instead of physical). Skalfak will be only person with responsibility of master key that gives access privilages to other keys, as she is the only member I doubt can be intimidated or stolen from, this will keep the trouble members out.

250,000: Upgrade living accommodations to include basic gym equipment (treadmill, punching bag, weights, etc), kitchen, refrigerator, each person a choice of bed under 10k in cost, Includes 20k to each member for allowance of personal affects.

50,000: Given to Ka to get parts and construct robot that will allow engagment and observation of demon portals from a distance. This way we do not have to choose to attack or not without ahead of time knowledge. Hopefully having a task will keep her occupied also.

20k: Esasmus fund for 'procurement of sexual distraction that involve less personal grievous harm'. Given in 1k allowances, cut off if he fails to stay on time for missions.

30k: C4 requisition, once again done on allowence.

50k: Immediate weapon upgrade and modernization fund. Actual things acquired as deemed by Skalfak has most weapon experiance.

1-10k: Basic Demonology textbook acquisition.

100k: Fund given to Vergewaltiger's control. Used as a stand alone fund for purchase of emergency supplies on his discretion.

>>271353

The best part about comedy is seeing how long you can keep a straight face.

It's been clear from the start this is a wacky weird sex quest, not some serious military endeavor. The incident Skalfak survived had the name Rape Island in it.

Regardless, We're supposed to be playing the part of Logistics for this band of hopeless misfits. You can be the drunk frat boy at the party, and there's no problem with that. I prefer to be the straight man.

>>271385

This sounds like an excellent idea.

>>271339
Ok, so the demonologist needs to be a cute bisexual xenophile.

>>271339
Get the Doctor to sedate prisoner 2. Run full physical. Consider the option that this is all part of the demon plot and these two fuckheads are sleeper agents and they're going to keep sending through apparently useless fucks until we have taken so many prisoners we're outnumbered 3 to 1 and then they're going to attack properly and we're going to get completly fucked over because we're keeping demons around instead of killing them.

>>271352
Good plan, has my full support.

>>271399
Bad plan, we don't need more of that shit.

>>271385

50K for weapon upgrades seems insufficient, especially considering Esasmus needs high-powered optics and a long-range gun, which alone might come to that much or more. Allocate another 50K from the living quarters budget to a full 100K.

Demonologist books should be pretty pointless, since it's becoming pretty clear these are not quite what we've been expecting of 'demons'. Maybe trans-dimensional theory books instead, so we can get a bead on what these portals are?

Other than that, this looks like a sound investment. Keeping a 100K in reserve by someone we can probably count on not to impulse-spend them is a very good idea.

>>271426

There is actually 100k (ok, 99-90k, depending on books) unspent in my budget, more can be allocated to weapons in that case. As Esasmus should at least get a good rifle intended for armored infantry.

More revenue resources though should be looked into. I have a concept to deal with the lack of stealth, but we are going to need money first to do R&D or get advanced tech. Maybe get Doc on making some papers/petitions for money that overstate our accomplishments and the threat of the demons (ah, the wonders of positive spin, its like med school all over).

>>271426

You know nothing. A good rifle is like 500 bucks. The optics are 3000. Infantry-weapons cost nearly nothing.

>>271428
>good rifle
Assault rifle != rifle. Confusing, yex, but a decent rifle will go for upwards of $1000. If you want to spring for something fancy like a WA2000, then you're looking at upwards of $75,000 if you can actually find someone willing to sell one.

>>271427
For profit I'd like to look into the pornography angle. They're both quite attractive and I very much doubt Ka or Esasmus would say no.

>>271430

Okay, yeah. We are never going to engage them over the length of a mile, though. So more than an assault-rifle with good scope is overkill.

>>271435

Esasmus -is- a sniper. If we wanted to put him a mile away from the action, we could.

And if we can equip him with high-grade gear worth his skills, we most certainly should.

>>271430

A WA2000 was a great police sniper rifle... three decades ago. Now it's a collector's item, and its high price tag is due to its rarity instead of its utility.

We should pick something in .338 Lapua Mag, and something designed and built this decade. How about a Desert Tactical Arms Stealth Recon Scout? The SRS has a long name, but it's a really nice, accurate, .338 Lapua magnum rifle. It's slightly longer than the WA2000, but four pounds lighter. Modern construction, modern features, and it'll only set the budget back about $7,000.

.338 Lapua magnum is an accurate round, and great for anti-personnel work (and thus perfect for fighting demons).

>>271438
Or a Accuracy International AWM, used for the longest confirmed sniper kill. And it's fairly new. There is some problems with using .338 Lapua Magnum rounds in it though, but if we can pry away Ka from the demon's crotch then she should be able to modify it a bit to get the problem out of the way.

>>271439

I mentioned the SRS because it's a bullpup design comparable to the WA2000. The SRS avoids most of the problems other bullpup designs have, and makes for a very compact, very accurate weapon.

I've got nothing against the AWM, per se, but it is about a foot and a half longer and a little heavier.

>>271440
That compactness is quite a nice thing. And Esamus looks like he might have trouble lugging around a heavy rifle for a long time. But on the other hand there is something special about the ability to majorly fuck shit up from 1.600 metres away. Guess we could ask him which one he would prefer.

>>271441

The AWM's barrel length is only an inch longer than the SRS, and they use the same round. They should have similar ranges and accuracy.

>>271443
Didn't find anything on the SRS effective range. Guess I could have searched harder but I was feeling lazy. Either one will probably do. But I'm somewhat of a fan of large guns.

Getting a WA2000 would be ridiculous anyway. They only made like, 2,000 of them, and almost all are owned by collectors, which would make purchasing one difficult.

I'd originally voted for a Barret, since their semi-auto, have an effective range of over a mile and the .50 BMG is a good anti-materiel round, with a variety of actual ammunition types. But, I can see the appeal in a lighter gun.

The difference in the ballistics between the weapons can't be that different for it to matter, as we're unlikely to push the limits of range with either weapon. We just need Esasmus to stand WAY back. (Okay, not literally, but its the same principle). We should ask him if he prefers rifle or pistol grip. Both the AWM and SRS are bolt-action, although the SRS has 7-round magazines available, so if he's more comfortable with one, we'll pick that one.

For infantry weapons, we can stick with SCARs, they don't often. Maybe throw in a LMG or SAW in case of SHTF. We should also recall Esasmus has asked a camouflage allowance. We should budget him a little money for some Ghillie suits and whatnot.

>>271457

If Esasmus is half the sniper I think he is, he'll want to make his ghillie suits himself. We should allot him a budget for some jute, a sewing kit, BDUs he can build the suit on, that kind of thing.

I don't see him needing more than $2,000

>gun discussion
If you want anti-infantry, go buy a Dragunov or M21. If you're worried about armor, go buy an AS50 or M82 (which is what he originally asked for). Don't bother with overpriced rifles shooting nonstandard ammo, we are on a budget.

>>271485
.338 Lapua magnum is hardly a non-standard round. Many NATO armies use it as their standard sniper round. It's ballistics are very similar to the .50 round and its recoil is between a .50 and a .300 win-mag round. It's basically the perfect balance for an accurate long range bullet.

>>271485

Look, if funding rifles becomes an issue, we can buy a crate full of WWI Mosin Nagants, which fire 7.62mmR. They're also cheap enough that if one becomes too damaged to use, we can replace it easy. For now, lets get something decent in .338 and deal with it. We don't even know how much ammo we're going to expend, honestly.

Esasmus 2011/01/15(Sat)08:41 No. 271649 ID: f604d6
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Gentlemen, the primary factor is utility. You may have your favourite weapons, but until I know what is demanded of me, I could try anything from a spit-wad to a 120mm tank gun, achieving nothing but complete lack of effect or wasteful overkill.

Now, the M40A1 is probably the best bolt-action .308, good for taking out individual, human-equivalent targets from a reasonable distance. The military version(s) of the SR-25 would serve well in supporting the team against massed enemy by picking off their leaders, heavy weapons and individual combatants in bothersome positions. For slightly harder or larger targets you could definitely use a .338 rifle, even a semi-automatic, but the increase in range would be an advantage lost by using a weapon without the necessary accuracy for that distance. For even harder and larger targets there are many .50-caliber rifles but here, as with the previous categories, their usefulness is limited again by the nature of the enemy. Individual targets pose no problem, but against a massed assault I would again be limited to critical targets, as against the general mass the rate of fire would be ineffectually slow, at best effecting a distraction, and against skilled troops merely a marginal one. Additionally, snipers and marksmen do not generally carry an abundant quantity of ammunition.
And for the truly hard and large targets, we are forced to move into the territory of anti-tank rifles, which then would only be effective against veritable monsters, being wasteful overkill against human-equivalent targets and ineffective against even obsolete armour. In fact, the monster-killer role is better filled by AFV, where an APC with a 20-and-up-millimeter cannon and machineguns would also be effective against massed hostiles and a proper tank would be hell for infantry and the most effective thing against enemy armour this side of aircraft and AT missiles.

Esasmus 2011/01/15(Sat)08:44 No. 271651 ID: f604d6
File 129510986312.png - (31.57KB , 870x540 , npdt0220.png )

But that's irrelevant, since depending on the nature of the enemy, the best choice might be a devilishly expensive, entirely custom-built specialized anti-demon rifle. And if the enemy has such high-value targets that need actual assassination, you'd want something that's cheap enough to be ditched after one shot while the assassin - that would be me - evades and escapes without said weapon as unnecessary weight.

Thus, aside from the joy of having a huge armory, there's no merit in preparing for every even remotely possible scenario in a most uneducated manner.

>>271651
Buy a M2 Browning. Fit it with a scope. Heavy weapon, suppressing fire, and long-range sniper roles roles filled.

If you're a halfway decent sniper then you've had enough experience to have developed your own preferences. Pick whatever lightweight rifle is the most comfortable for you. After all, the most important factor for your personal weaponry is familiarity.

If we encounter any megabeasts then we'll bribe a naval officer and spot for a railgun salvos; it's cheaper to buy those kind of strikes a-la-carte.

>>271649
Judging by what we've seen, they shouldn't be much tougher than humans. Go buy your preferred 7.62x51 rifle, we can get bigger and nastier later.

New plan, we keep a "rifle budget" open, in case we need something better on the fly, and for now, just settle with something basic in .308/7.62mm. An SR-25 or M14 EBR is a good choice. I mean, if its that bad, we can have anti-tank rifle air dropped for him to use if something 10-feet tall and covered in armored scales comes through.

>>Thus, aside from the joy of having a huge armory, there's no merit in preparing for every even remotely possible scenario in a most uneducated manner.

This is why we need research support. Both the remote camera intrusion for the next portal, and possibly someone with knowledge of demons, or just a profiler. We'll see if Smeth can scrounge up someone for the team... eventually, I guess. Y'know, when he talks to us again.

Oh, and Esasmus, are you comfortable with current budgeting for your Camouflage desires?

Esasmus 2011/01/15(Sat)11:17 No. 271671 ID: f604d6
File 129511902115.png - (30.01KB , 870x540 , npdt0221.png )

Effective camouflage must always be configured for the target environment. As such it's even more difficult to make premature purchases than with weapons. The immediate surroundings of Nova Pori vary quite a bit as well and it is not certain that I would even need any camouflage.
I can't watch the entire municipality at once either, so "camping" for portals is not a possibility. This eliminates the need for camouflage as I would hardly have time to find a good position and prepare properly before something comes out - especially if it's a real enemy.

Allow me to enlighten you: I'm used to conducting missions with mission-specific equipment. Everything is planned beforehand. Tastes have nothing to do with it, although that affects very little as my preference is utility, always utility. My employer usually provides all of the equipment and I only argue if something is grossly ineffective for the given mission.
With that in mind, the best solution is a very flexible open budget.

But for now I think the SR-25 will suffice. That and a Leupold 3,5-10X scope, Harris bipod and a suppressor. I'll have a contact arrange the delivery.

>>271671
So, what's the current status of the demon brats?

Agent Smeth 2011/01/15(Sat)12:20 No. 271703 ID: f604d6
File 129512284663.png - (15.18KB , 870x540 , npdt0222.png )

I've got news and news.

One is that I am no longer searching the database for reinforcements. Instead I'm having Ms Belkresh filter résumés sent by people who have heard of your operation and wish to participate. This also has the effect of removing the need to observe the heronet.org team size limit, because it circumvents the sillier technicalities of the union rules. Most of these are utter crap from complete lunatics and incomprehensible retards, but I've taken the liberty to hire two persons of general utility, to reinforce your numbers. The other has a degree in demonology and I'm certain you'd find use for both regardless.

Another is that the agency and our sources are puzzled over the results of these portal attacks. The info on the invasion comes from reliable sources. I have every reason to trust these sources. The only specifics I can give you at this time is that at least one demonic commander has been confirmed to have committed resources for a considerable attack and the target is my favorite city. Until we learn more, I can only stress the reliability of our sources and advise you to excercise caution.

>>271703
The ones that have been sent through are probably infiltrators and quite expendable. Pushed through to gauge possible resistance and see what our response is to apparently harmless demons. Due to unwillingness to get down and dirty properly, things are likely going just as they have planned. Soon our base will contain more demons than our own people, then they will launch the proper invasion minutes after the demons in our base rampages. So we will be fucked.

>>271709
Maybe they're decoys?

>>271709
>>271712

I suspect they are probing attacks. They've sent their weakest out first, to see what happens. Also, it has us let our guard down, given that we keep suspecting they are trying to troll us or their own people.

The point about having more demons than humans in the base is why I agree with the "throw them back through the next portal" idea. Also it removes distractions they present.

>>271703

... Well, lets meet them. Can we see their resumes? Once we know their abilities, we can decide best how they might help. As you said, I'm sure we'll find something for them to do regardless.

>>271728
Throwing them back gives their leaders a chance to interogate them about our defenses and the people we have on this side. We should just shoot them, dissect the bodies and then sell whatever remains to occultists.

But now, since we have more people, we can have a strike team to go on a mission and guards for the prisoners.

I also agree with this >>271731 , although I would not go as far as killing them (yet).

Any update on improvements to the base? Or do we need to allocate a new budget?

Any other sources of funding right now? or any we can expect soon?

Team meeting needs to be called for a briefing on the basics of Demonology by the person with the degree as soon as the situation is stable.

Also, impressive recovery speed you have there Esasmus.

Skalfak 2011/01/15(Sat)15:19 No. 271769 ID: f604d6
File 129513357282.png - (34.58KB , 870x540 , npdt0223.png )

They've arrived, identifying themselves as Sister Maxine Van Misbruik and Artur Ulf Thor, Esquire. She has a degree in demonology and working experience at "a private club", and he has a machinegun.

With them arrived Esasmus' new toy, explosives, all sorts of cameras and remote control stuff - Ka can sort it out - and construction workers with materials for an extension of the base - namely, simple barracks, bathroom and storage. If you grant an additional 100,000, we can build a basement with a gym, further storage and holding cells.

>>271769
Cool, satanic battle nun and a midget with a machinegun. This will be nice.

And yeah lets forward those grants. Will be useful to further upgrade the base.

Permission for 100,000 extra granted.

I also suggest that in actual questioning, as the prisoners seem willing to talk, ask exactly how #2 got here, as it seems hers may have been accidental. Ask #1, as he seems to be a school student, what his best subjects were, if its something like History that could prove useful.

>>271769

Bitchin'. Someone show the Sister the demons and explain what happened with their arriving, ask for her opinion. Preferably not Esasmus, because he can't shoot very well if she breaks his arm. She looks like the arm breaking type.

Consider adding a small firing range to possible expansions. So we can test operate our weapons.

>>271771
Oh, and see if binding rituals work on them. Or any supernatural magic crap.

>>271769
Esquire? Is he a lawyer or training for knighthood or something?

>>271671
>I can't watch the entire municipality at once either, so "camping" for portals is not a possibility.
Let me ask you something, Esasmus: have you
ever sniped...


...from a helicopter?

Grant the 100K. Utilities for keeping prisoners would be essential.

Given Agent Smeth's insistence that a real attack is forthcoming, I think we're either a) being the target of some kind of misinformation campaign, or b) some demon(s?) out there have gotten their hand on the demon lord's trans-dimensional tool and is using it for simple pranks. Proper interviewing of our prisoners might verify the latter.

Also, let's have a chat with our latest recruits, shall we?

Sister Maxine, what can you tell us about demons, in a nutshell?

Artur, what is your particular skillset, how did you come about it and why did you volunteer?

Skalfak 2011/01/15(Sat)16:55 No. 271804 ID: f604d6
File 129513933087.png - (39.02KB , 870x540 , npdt0224.png )

Show the sister the demons, you said.

Ask for her opinion, you said.

"I need to interrogate him. Don't worry, I'll make him tolk. The little focka will squeal like a piggy."

What have I done to deserve this?

>>271804
Persons of general utility, he said.

Certain we'd find a use for them, he said.

We don't NEED another person who delights in raping the demons. Dammit.

>>271804
Film and sell as porn. When they're done take him outside and shoot him.

BAUTTSEX Van Misbruik 2011/01/15(Sat)17:00 No. 271810 ID: f604d6
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>>We don't NEED another person who delights in raping the demons.

YES YOU DO.

>>271804

...figures.

Well, Skalfak I'm not sure if you're the good cop or the bad cop, but sadly you should hang around in case the poor guy actually says something useful. Be prepared to administer a mercy kill.

Or, y'know, if you have to leave, you can go talk to that new guy about guns.

next allocation of funds:

50k: Skalfak fund for subsidized psychological counseling, and as much vacation/bar time as she needs. We support you soldier.

>>271804
You know what, just take a gun and shoot him. Best thing to do.

>>271816
And possibly hookers for Ka and the sister.

>>271816

That's a bit excessive. Let's just get her all the alcohol she needs. In fact, everyone will need some alcohol. Need a fully stocked liquor cabinet, STAT.

>>271810
Skalfak: You now have permission to beat the shit out of the next person to have sex with a demon.

Did you guys bring home the armor that demon chick was wearing? It did protect her from all those bullets. She'd have been very dangerous if she were, uh, dangerous at all. And since they gave it to a meatshield, it must be pretty commonplace.

Find the smallest bullet that'll put a hole through that suit at range.

Speaking of, it seems like Prisoner 2 would be more likely to know things, so she should be interrogated first, or something.

First, stop raping prisoners, you reprehensible, if hilarious, pedophiles. I don't expect you to listen but I thought I should mention. Second, interrogate prisoner two.

Thumbs up. Do continue.

For those wanting to keep score:

Miss Belkresh 2
Advice Team 0

>>271807
Nonsense, she's a highly trained demonologist. Her methods of interrogation are certain to be correct for this situation. If you insist on second-guessing her like this, there's no point having a demonologist on staff at all.

>>271810
I think I figured out why the demons are invading, and it's becoming increasingly difficult to blame them...

Thor 2011/01/16(Sun)08:32 No. 271977 ID: f604d6
File 129519557529.png - (36.30KB , 870x540 , npdt0225.png )

What's up?

>>271977

You tell us, big-man. What's happening in Thor town?

Err, would it be rude to ask how old you are? You're a little baby-faced.

Thor 2011/01/16(Sun)09:26 No. 271992 ID: f604d6
File 12951987698.png - (37.90KB , 870x540 , npdt0226.png )

I... I... I am nineteen...

>>271992

...Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

>>271992
Ok, sure whatever. Say, can you hit the demon boy from where you're standing?

>>271992
What's the esquire stand for? You training to be a knight?

Thor 2011/01/16(Sun)12:02 No. 272033 ID: f604d6
File 129520812736.png - (28.21KB , 870x540 , npdt0227.png )

Of course I can hit him.

Esquire
–noun
1.
( initial capital letter ) an unofficial title of respect, having no precise significance, sometimes placed, esp. in its abbreviated form, after a man's surname in formal written address: in the U.S., usually applied to lawyers, women as well as men; in Britain, applied to a commoner considered to have gained the social position of a gentleman. Abbreviation: Esq.

>>272033
Good, then do so. Try atleast a little bit not to hit any of the others though.

>>272034

I think it's time for someone to shut his derp piehole.

Alright, Artur, ignore the command to shoot for now. What's your skillset and background? Why did you apply to join this team? Have you any special equipment needs, and WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT YOUR AGE YOUNG MAN?

>>272042
Atleast I told him not to hit the others.

Thor 2011/01/16(Sun)12:38 No. 272049 ID: f604d6
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L-lying about my a-age? W-what ever do y-you speak of?

A-as you can clearly s-see, I'm just an e-eighteen-year-old m-machinegunner...

You just said you were nineteen, dude: >>271992

>>272049

Well, as long as you're a good seventeen year old machine-gunner, I suppose that will have to do. You have your own machine gun and ammo, at least, so that's a bonus.

Having us get you a tripod or bipod might be a good idea, though, if you don't have one already.

>>272049
Thor, just general advice: Stay away from Ka and the Sister you arrived with.
Don't ask why, it's good for you.

Anyway, I see you brought your own equipment. You got plenty of experience with that thing? Anything you might want to order? We got a tight budget, but we keep an ear out for unusual ideas, you know, with the whole demon invasion thing going...

Stay very far away from Ka, dude. Do you have combat experience to go with that fancy machinegun? Right now it doesn't look like it's going to turn out to be necessary, but you might need to fight off Ka if nothing else.

I mean, I dunno, maybe Ka is your type and the thought of being molested senseless is right up your alley, just thought you should be warned, Artur.

Are you here for the giant breasts or the demon fighting? Because I'm not sure if you want any of that.

On the other hand, if we fire you, you'll just be replaced by another smug jerk who doesn't do what we tell them, so WELCOME ABOARD.

Do we have a firing range? If not, go shoot some cans in the woods or something so we can see if you can aim.

Agent Smeth 2011/01/16(Sun)14:27 No. 272074 ID: f604d6
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Hate to interrupt you, truly, but you-know-what at RMT Inc. warehouses.

>>272074
I knew something was wrong with this team! You haven't been acting like heroes at all, but smoking? That clinches it! You're the villains!

You shoulda told us outright; now we can properly allocate funds between inhumane experiments, invasion forces, and oppression tactics.

TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT

Agent Smeth 2011/01/16(Sun)14:35 No. 272078 ID: f604d6
File 129521731642.png - (15.42KB , 870x540 , npdt0230.png )

Actually this is just a chocolate cigarette and I got no fuel in my lighter anyway. As for inhumane experiments and oppression tactics, your job is simply to 1) defend my favorite city and 2) stop said demonic invasion. How you go about doing it is your business, not mine.

>>272078
Oh.
Then control your agents, since we seem to lack any tools to discipline them.

Esasmus! I'll cut you a deal. You can take care of the demon girl if you can keep her happy and stop the other agents from abusing the demon boy.
No more rape; enforced with bullets.

>>272079
>Says, "No more rape."
>offers the demon girl as a reward

There is something wrong with your logic.

Eh, he looks happy.

See? Totally happy: >>271804

Anyway, get everyone together and head down there right away. Standard loadout because we still don't know what the fuck.

Well, get on out there! Bring Skalfak, Thor, Van Misbruik, maybe Esasmus, and lots of zipties. Probably just going to be another hapless victim for Ka and Van Misbruik's flirtations, but no reason not to bring your heavies and your experts.

Skalfak 2011/01/16(Sun)14:54 No. 272083 ID: f604d6
File 129521844991.png - (21.39KB , 870x540 , npdt0231.png )

So do you mean going with or without Dok, Lick and Ka? With the full team there's no room for the prisoners in the jeep, but we've applied enough duct tape to keep them immobile so there's hardly a reason to give a fuck about them.

Leave Ka behind. She'll keep herself occupied with her toy.

Leave Doc behind. He doesn't need to be a frontline combatant yet.

Leave Lick behind. We need some room in the car.

>>272083
We should really buy a second vehicle if we're that low on space. Going into combat without a doctor nearby seems like a bad plan in general.

That said, we don't have one right now and we probably won't need them, so sure, leave them for now.

>>272083
We need the Doctor. Remember, we spent all that money on FIELD MEDICAL EQUIPMENT. So he should be in the FIELD.

Skalfak 2011/01/16(Sun)15:37 No. 272098 ID: f604d6
File 129522107331.png - (25.82KB , 870x540 , npdt0232.png )

So what's the ingenious plan that doesn't involve Ka and Lick?

>>272098
...Block off the other side of that alley and... Shoot anything that looks threatening?

>>272098

When it crosses the portal, tell it to surrender or eat lead. You've got a pretty good set up, here. Thor's MG would be brilliant. How fast before the portals close? Can you order it back across before it shuts? Base is getting crowded.

>>272098
It's called "kill fucking everything" because that's what you're going to do, atleast everything that comes through the portal.

>>272080
If he keeps her happy. Rape would make her unhappy, ergo it is not something he is permitted to do.

>>272098
The plan is threat assessment, followed by an appropriate tactical response.
If past results are any indicator this will mean capturing another hapless idiot then making sure they ARE a hapless idiot. If they show signs of being an actual threat, then give them their weight in lead at 1000m/s.

Skalfak 2011/01/16(Sun)16:21 No. 272128 ID: f604d6
File 129522370629.png - (36.16KB , 870x540 , npdt0233.png )

FUCK

>>272128
Aim for their feet. Or lob grenades over their shields if you got them. Good news is that they should be quite inaccurate firing at you in that way.

Open fire. Aim for the feet. Throw grenades.

If anyone has a high powered weapon (not really 100% on the loadout here) aim for the shield windows.

Also, next time bring Lick. I'm voting for that right now.

>>272128
How the hell are they shooting? That's a stupid way to shoot, its full auto, its one handed, you're not looking down the sights, and you're not even holding it in a sane way, they arn't gonna hit the broadside of a barn. Starting putting bullets down under the riot shields, hit their feet.

>>272128
Get someone to flank them and shoot through the warehouse walls into their backs. Someone like Thor.

Huh, I didn't really expect that to happen at all. Shoot them with bullets and/or grenades as necessary!

Skalfak 2011/01/16(Sun)16:57 No. 272139 ID: f604d6
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WE CAN'T FUCKING FLANK THEM, IT'S TOO OPEN! WE BARELY HAVE ANY COVER AS IT IS AND IT'S NOT GETTING ANY FUCKING EASIER! THE JEEP'S ONLY HOLDING BECAUSE THEY'RE FIRING PISTOL CALIBER AMMO!
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE SMOKE!

>>272139
If your current arms aren't making it through their shields, then you need to either change arms or get around the shields.

For the first, grenades might work.

For the second, as long as you're using the jeep anyway you might consider swinging around with it and attempting to run them over. They'll get squished or be forced to dive out of the way, giving you a chance for some decent shots at them. If nothing else, it'll disrupt their assault.

Start throwing grenades. We'll tell you when to stop. Make some fly through the portal.

>>272140
>>272141
They have no grenades.
>>272139
Call Ka on the cellphone and have her bring Lick and a ton of explosives, then, uh, hang on.

...Fuck, they're bringing heavier weapons through. You may need to retreat.

>>272139

THOR! LAY DOWN A FIELD OF FIRE! SCREAM LIKE RAMBO WHILE DOING IT.

Other people, concentrate fire in bursts at exposed areas where possible. If someone can get in to the jeep and drive it around and run bitches down. If you have grenades, employ them.

Skalfak, be prepared to rush the enemy position while the others escape in jeep. Did you bring a bayonet.

>>272144
Yes, a retreat is necessary. You're outnumbered and outgunned. Get in the jeep and gun it. Have Thor suppress the guy with the rocket launcher / grenade launcher while you're at it.

Skalfak 2011/01/16(Sun)17:42 No. 272148 ID: f604d6
File 129522855058.png - (41.76KB , 870x540 , npdt0235.png )

THE JEEP! I'LL JUST GE

OH GOD NO

>>272148
God dammit, Skalfak, get through this! You're the only sane trooper we've got!

oh you _tease_

>>272148

GET UP SOLDIER! THIS IS NO TIME TO BY LYING ON YER BELLY LIKE A PUSSY! THERE ARE THINGS IN NEED OF KILLIN', AND YER THE ONLY ONE HERE TO DO IT!

TACTICAL RETREAT! TACTICAL RETREAT!

Anyone alive, get the wounded aboard the jeep back to base. Thor, provide some cover fire, but no longer than necessary.

We have NOTHING to hit them with, we have NO cover, while they can hit us plenty. #

I know it's stupid, because the demons can set up positions in the city and commit all kinds of horrors, but a prepared assault on a prepared defensive positions is better than a utterly unprepared defense against a moderately prepared attack.

Live now, engange later.

>>272152
Tactical retreat.
Wish you had gotten that M2 Browning.
Call in the Navy to shell that portal.

>>272253
I think we don't have those resources or that clearance. One option is to ram the fuckers and the portal. Going to be fucking dangerous to do though.

Skalfak 2011/01/18(Tue)09:22 No. 272618 ID: f604d6
File 129537135837.png - (13.22KB , 870x540 , npdt0236.png )

Fuck.

I have a headache and feel weird elsewhere too.

Fist + groin.

>>272621
HIS groin.

(I know, I know, but with this current crew you just can't be too careful)

Skalfak 2011/01/18(Tue)10:44 No. 272625 ID: f604d6
File 129537624180.png - (17.72KB , 870x540 , npdt0238.png )

Satisfying, but largely useless.

I still have a headache.

>>272625

Obtain painkillers from Doc. Request situation report. Don't have doc help the short perverted one.

>>272625
Beat his ass some more. Little fucker has to learn what is acceptable behaviour against superiors and what isn't. His falls very clearly under what isn't and he has to learn some discipline and the fact that actions have consequences.

Then you can go obtain some pain killers from doc and tell him to take care of the whimpering pile that was your machine gunner.

Once you're done with that you can fill us in on what happened. Or possibly go find one of the others and get them to fill you in.

>>272625
Get status report. Insist on DETAILS.

Organise resistance. Spend the rest of the budget on as much as possible of the following:
5x Kevlar vests + helmets, since we know demons use rather ordinary projectile weapons.
20x fragmentation grenades
1x sniper rifle for Esasmus with enough punch to penetrate body armour
Ammo mags for your assault rifles. Boxes of those.

Get to know which team member has experience with a heavy weapon beside a strapon dildo.

>>272628
Eh, Doc meant she's not his type.

Skalfak 2011/01/18(Tue)12:42 No. 272643 ID: f604d6
File 12953833785.png - (30.12KB , 870x540 , npdt0239.png )

Well, the story is that we bravely ran away. Esasmus stayed back to hunt and the Dok says I'm going to live.

As for anti-armor weapons, is .50 enough or do we go for a 20mm rifle? It also makes sense to me to acquire some grenadelaunchers and RPGs or other AT-launchers.

>>272643
Get all of that. Need to be prepared to take down the fuckers if they bring through an APC or three.

>>272643
Also, get some shields of your own. We clearly underestimated these bastards and mobile cover seems like a great idea.

.50 cal should be good, plus some LAWs or RPGs (or fancy X-COM rocket launchers with different payloads) in case things get hairy.

Also, we can afford body armor, right? Maybe some helmets? I think we avoided that until now because our opposition has been laughably incompetent and it would get in the way of the titties, but now they have guns.

What's the jeep equipped with? Can we see it? Can it mount a weapon like a .50 cal or a mark 19?

Also, next time bring Lick. A bunch of C4 around the portal would have turned that fight right around.

Also, we should probably do all of this in a hurry.

>>272652
We didn't have enough time. I think part of the point of the first two was to gauge our response time. This time, they marched through as soon as we arrived.

Skalfak 2011/01/18(Tue)13:34 No. 272661 ID: f604d6
File 129538648119.png - (30.09KB , 870x540 , npdt0240.png )

More items on the shopping list.

So what do we do now? I'm assuming Esasmus can handle himself. We don't have much to do except wait a lot for this and that - the base expansion and the stuff on the shopping list. Especially me, since I have Dok's orders to take it easy.

>>272643
Definatly body armour and helmets.

Also, we need eyes.

I don't think our budget allows for a satellite uplink? Keyhole-grade?

Can we hire, not buy, a helicopter + pilot? No an armoured attack gunship or anything fancy like that, just a small civilian helicoptre with a pilot.

With a normal and a IR camera, he could give live-battle info and observe demons from afar even if we have to retreat.

That will be probably very expensive, but at least search the internet for any helicopter services in Nova Pori and tell us the price range so we can decide later.

While we are talking about eyes... Waht about IR and Nightvision goggles in case a portal pops up at night?

Demons are like humans, just red, right? They should radiate in the IR spectrum.

Hereby suggesting to buy nightvision or IR goggles.

>>272652
>mark 19
Oh god yes. If it doesn't fit on the jeep, hire some muscle and bring a tripod version.

Also, seconding any kind of high-calibre recoilless rifle.

>>272661
All we really need are a few RPG-7's, some riot shields, and maybe a Mk 19 if the others insist. Oh, and it might be worth it to up-armor the jeep if we have the money. How's our budget, by the way?

Skalfak 2011/01/18(Tue)14:35 No. 272682 ID: f604d6
File 129539010783.png - (32.95KB , 870x540 , npdt0241.png )

Our budget is what it is. I haven't been counting lately.

>>272682
@Smeth: How much money do we have left?

Fucking spy satellites are obviously outside our budget. So are helicopters, probably.

Upgrading from a jeep to an uparmored hummvee or surplus BMP or something would be awesome, however.

NVGs or thermals might be a good idea, but right now what we need is firepower. Just finding the portals has not been a problem so far.

>>272666
Well, our rifles haven't really been that useful. They weren't even able to penetrate prisoner 2's loser game show armor. I vote we replace them with anti-materiel rifles, rockets and/or exotic gun-bunny porn I've never heard of.

Once we get our guns, we gotta think about how to round these guys up. What weaknesses does Van Misbruik say they have? Other than giant strap-ons?

>>272691
She's probably to busy abusing various narcotics to tell us.

Good to see you're still alive, Skalfak. I'd have missed you.

We can't really afford to dilly-dally. Get .50 BMGs, portable cover, an adequate supply of hand grenades, a hearing aid for Lick, and some AT weapons.

Rig the jeep up in to an armored technical. Get Ka on that. Right now she is by far the highest paid of any of you, given her 'perks'.

Get information out of Van Misbruik asap. She is also being 'highly paid' and better cough up some ReturnOnInvestment.

Get a mortar and a couple people who know how to operate it well, plus a separate jeep for them. Mortars are very tough to beat for fire support on a budget, would be able to avoid direct return fire, and could blast through the kind of shields and armor that we saw on those guys easy.

Get some kind of heavy armor. Armored humvee, strap sheet metal to the jeep, get combat shields, body armor, helmets, anything, just stop going out there in nothing but clothing.

On grenades: Frags against that kind of armor would probably not be as effective as we'd like. Go with concussion grenades and incendiaries if you can get them.

Invest in some sort of anti-armor weapon. If the demons stage up any further, we want to be ready. Although the mortar could very well suffice in that regard.

>>272661
Get that Browning M2, fit a T&E on its mount, put a scope on it, and send somebody out hand it and some ammo off to Esasmus.

Also, if they're sending in heavy infantry like that then we're going to want to make friends with officers in the various military branches and invest in some anti-tank weaponry due to the logical progression of events.

After you get that in motion, go check on the prisoners. Get Prisoner 2 some actual clothes, and check on the well-being of Prisoner 1.

> check on the well-being of Prisoner 1.
You might not want to do this. We all know what we're going to find. Do we really want to see it?

>>272751

I know i do.

Might aswell get up to date if he shared any more info, check on him. Then see about what it would take to get a minigun with AP rounds, possibly mounted.

Agent Smeth 2011/01/19(Wed)10:38 No. 272872 ID: f604d6
File 129546231761.png - (14.95KB , 870x540 , npdt0242.png )

I gave you the money. It's not my job to keep track of it.

Anyway, I've got more recruits for you, should you choose to accept them.

One is a veteran member of BOPE looking for a vacation, one is a self-appointed "blademaster" and one is a robot or android or somesuch one of the agency's, er, acquaintances wants field-tested.

Lets see the Robo and Blademaster

>>272872
Swords are a no. These are competent demons now. What's BOPE? Sounds promising. If the robot breaks do we have to pay for it?

>>272872
Blademaster can fuck off. Also what kind of Robot? And we will take the BOPE dude, will be a welcome addition to the team.

>>272875
They are Brazilian special police. A mix between police and special forces, they're very good at urban combat as they train to operate in Favellas and take down cartells there. They have some very strict training and standards for recruits. They people they bring in tend to end up coming with them in a bodybag in quite a few cases as well, so he should be a useful guy to have around.

>>272875
>>272875

And what do we do when someone competent clad in Demon II's armor trundles through a portal and shouts "COME AT ME BRO"? In fact, depending on how good they are with a sword, they might be useful in Close-Quarters. So long as the blademaster is comfortable watching the base most of the time, its probably alright. Besides, they're probably lower budget than some prototype combat android (inb4 its a gynoid).

We also need to see about Esasmus, and how the hunt has gone. It's kinda on us if the demons cause much property damage.

>>272881
Naw, we're TESTING the robot. That means they pay us.

The BOPE fellow sounds good.

>>272881
>armor that defeats continous fire from medium calibre rifles
Yeah, a sword isn't going to help you there. A guy with a pneumatic hammer, maybe.

Agent Smeth 2011/01/19(Wed)12:51 No. 272901 ID: f604d6
File 129547026629.png - (14.87KB , 870x540 , npdt0243.png )

Well, you have to vote. I'm not going to start guessing and I don't do telepathy, and it takes some work to arrange transportation so I'd prefer to be sure so I don't have to do return mail.

>>272901
Definitely the BOPE guy, we really need another competent soldier right now. The robot is too risky to be worth it, and this "blademaster" guy is only good as a meatshield.

Is Esasmus back yet?

>>272881
Then we're going to introduce the demon to a stridsfordon 90 with its 40 calibre bofors cannon, armed with depleted uranium shells.

>>272901
BOPE dude and the robot. If we're lucky it might have sexual functions in built so we can somehow pry away our mechanic from the demon.

Order antimateriel rifles and ammunition, a .50 cal BMG for the jeep, grenades, body armor, and maybe some NVGs if you can find a good deal.

I vote Robutt.

Robot. Unless the sword the dude's using is magical or monofilament he'll be useless. And with prior experience I'm guessing neither of those things exist here.

Also we don't really need another soldier do we? ALSO I kinda want to hire someone we know won't join in on raping the prisoners.