NO! YOU NEED US! YOU NEEEEEEEEEEED UUUUUUUUUSSSSSS!

>>26990
Wat?

What.

You see, this is what happens when you use the Orb too much.

Moonleaf 2009/08/10(Mon)15:12 No. 27001 ID: f2de2f
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I don't know what's worse... The crab claw foot, the eye in his back staring at me or the pink kitty underwear.

And what's this thing? I'm just going to sneak out now...

>>27001
THIS IS GREAT QUEST EVAR!

Oh snap.
Hi there, Moonleaf.

>>27001

Take orb with you and stride outside confidently.

>>27001
Did your tits get bigger since last time?
I mean- hi! What's up! How are you!

>>27001
Wow, you filled out nicely.

Damn it, a crazy homeless guy picked up the orb again.

Suggestion 2009/08/10(Mon)15:16 No. 27011 ID: 06fc25
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Alright Moonleaf. Grab the pig grease, it's time to become a Slayer.

>>27001
'Sup. We're a magical Orb. Want to be our new host?

Moonleaf 2009/08/10(Mon)15:26 No. 27021 ID: f2de2f
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Creepy voices from a magic ball... That I got from a crazy Dwarf... In a temple of Xom... OH GODS! I'M TOO YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL TO TURN INTO A FREAK!

Maybe you'll get lucky and just turn furry, like that other time.

>>27021
Don't worry at least now you have a reason for hearing them unlike when those other voices in your head where trying to convince you, you where some pop deva

>>27021
Hey! There are a few of us in here that aren't creepy.

>>27021
Don't worry!
We'll only make you a freak on the inside~
...Probably.

>>27026
I believe the technical term was "Happy happy pop idol magical girl"

>>27021
ohai moonleaf. Whatcha been up to?

Moonleaf 2009/08/10(Mon)15:38 No. 27046 ID: f2de2f
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>>27030
>>27026

You... S-shut up! I wasn't actually going to... I'm under a lot of stress, alright?

>>27046
Anyway weren't you going to avenge your fathers death or something?

>>27046
What's up? We help people solve problems.

>>27047

Precisely, and I don't know about the rest of you but I'd like to advise someone into some righteous bloodletting. All we've been getting are antisocials and demon summoners.

>>27046
>>27057
Which brings us to our original predicament she doesn't have any powers we are aware off.
Hey moonleaf you have any powers?

Moonleaf 2009/08/10(Mon)16:05 No. 27085 ID: f2de2f
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Yes... I want to avenge my father, but first I need to get out of here. This cultist seems a little unstable.

>>27085
Tell the cultist he must leave for "the liverspots in the pool have become unstable and need attending." (we've worked with Xom before this should get him off your back)

Maybe the dorfs have a spare Balrog they can loan you to help in the whole avenging thing.

>>27086
or you could just run away that always works.

Moonleaf 2009/08/10(Mon)18:04 No. 27160 ID: f2de2f
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The best explanation is that my brain has gone crazy. That's it.

>Hey moonleaf you have any powers?
Nothing spectacular. I have the basics of a lot of things, I just have no focused training on anything.

Lovely engraving by the way. It really puts my soul at ease.

>>27160
hmm okay step one find powers other than us. May want to go out searching ask the Dwarf (not the cultist the one who saved you) if there are any form of worthy enchanted items that will grant you power near there.

>>27160
Declare self god, grant self divine spells.
Become CODzilla.

>>27160
No dear, you're quite sane.
The Orb you hold is an ancient magical artifact, containing within it innumerable voices offering infinite suggestions. Each has their own agenda, but the majority of us are concerned with helping.

Sometimes, we voices take on the form of our bearer's internal monologue, which can be confusing to our bearer. Just know that you are as sane as you ever have been, the multitude of voices are not your psyche fragmenting.

Moonleaf 2009/08/10(Mon)19:18 No. 27220 ID: f2de2f
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This whole thing seems like a big distracting nuisance, but I guess I'll hang on to you for now since I haven't been very good at making decisions under pressure.

>Declare self god, grant self divine spells.
If I was a god, I wouldn't need to grant myself spells...

Since you seem to be utterly useless, it looks like we gotta level you up the hard way. Grab that torch off the wall and start hunting down rats.

>>27220
Didnt you have a spear last time we saw you? Spears are good, elven weapons. You shouldnt wander around without one.

>>27256

yeh, it's time to grind

>>27220
Well, that's the thing.
Declaring yourself a god doesn't do anything on it's own, you have to claim portfolios to do that.
And those are heavily guarded.
But a full complement of divine spells with the option of declaring yourself your own pope and getting more power is quite nice.

>>27256
You know, there are other ways to level up.

Like, DROPPING SOME FUNKY HARD BEATS FUCKING EVERYWHERE, OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

WE'RE BARDING THE SHIT OUT OF THIS SHIT.

SOMEONE CALL UP A DJ.

THIS FECAL MATTER IS NOT GOING TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH A LARGE CURVED PIECE OF METAL USED FOR HOLDING THINGS IN ANY POSSIBLE WAY, PHYSICAL OR OTHERWISE.

Hey Moonleaf... If you want to get the dorfs on your side... I have a speech prepared that may help. You'll need to get to somewhere big though, either a dining hall or in an audience with the king. It might garner you some support from these puke-covered mud-dwellers. I know they dont exactly seem to be liking you too much.

>>27265
>Elf Bard
>Effective

>>27220
In all honesty, you seem like a caster type.
If we're going to make you powerful, you should either start reading magic tomes, or find a god to worship.
Or both! Nothing says you can't do both, right?
Let's ask what gods the Dorfs have, and if there's anyone around who knows anything about magic at all.
... is there a God of Magic? Maybe we can follow them.

Moonleaf 2009/08/10(Mon)20:01 No. 27282 ID: f2de2f
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I don't want to be a bard now... ever.

>Didnt you have a spear last time we saw you?
Yes. I have a spear and a bow and they've been there the entire time... When were you watching me?

>>27282
We've been watching you from a distance for a long time we expect great things.

Look Moonleaf. You have to get some support from these dwarves... or at the very least get them to hate you less.

Find a table in a dining room. Somewhere with a lot of dwarfs nearby... you're gonna have to rally them to your side. Diplomacy. That's something you should be able to do, right?

Try this speech:

"I- I know that you may not like me...
You may think of me as weak and pitifull... like the rest of my kin... and right now, y-you may be right.
but I have suffered at the hands of the goblins and I have come to know some of your ways...
And though I thought at one point that only by becoming more like a dwarf would I ever have a chance to succeed... I know better than that now.
For I have not forgotten that I am an Elf!
Ours is no simple Dwarven grudge! to be carried about and avenged when we feel like it.
ours is the fury of the immortal! the vengence of nature's fury!
Us Elves... we eat rainbows and shit unicorns, and that's more than I can say about any of you.
We devour the flesh of our enemies and fight without the crutch of your pathetic metals to make life easy.
So I'm going to take this spear, and I'm going to go out there, and I'm not going to stop until every last slimy goblin bastard has known ten times the suffering I have endured.
and then you know what? I'm going to find me a pegasus and I'm going to storm the gates of hell itself, because not even death is a miserable enough ending for what they have done.
I'm going to personally devour each and every goblin soul, and wipe history clean of their presence, so that not even the gods themselves will dare utter mention of that cursed race again, lest they face my wrath.
We elves are beings of peace. And by the forest and by my father's grave, I swear that I will not rest until I am sure that not a single goblin survives to endanger that peace again.
So go ahead and hate me. View me as weak. But What I set out to do is more than any of you have ever had the heart or the courage to do.
And so I ask, before I set out there alone. Who amungst you are dwarf enough to acompany me? Who amungst you know the hate that burns in my heart?
Lend me your aid. Not as dwarves giving to some silly elf, but as warriors giving their support to a war.
For it is a war I promise you. A war to shake the heavens and wipe this scum from the earth!
WHO IS WITH ME?"

>>27282
Since the morning your father was killed and a day or two after.

Moonleaf 2009/08/10(Mon)20:35 No. 27305 ID: f2de2f
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...


I'm tossing this thing in a magma vent.

>>27305
Aw... come on Moonleaf. We just want to help.
Fine. What do you think you should do? You don't know, do you? Trust us. So long as you stick with us we'll do everything we can to help you achieve your goals.

And first things first. Look around for a trainer. You need to learn how to use your weaponry.

Or, if you would prefer, you can look around for some armor. Some heavy-padded cloth might be nice. Not too restricting. Or maybe some light leathers...

>>27305
You can try to destroy us I guess...but we really don't know what would happen then I don't think Xom would be amused.

>>27305

Before throwing us away, consider this:

You are not the only one we have watched or advised. Our collective experience encompasses the destruction of armies, apocalyptic survival, the path to godhood and the slaying of gods, dealing with insanity and crippling fear, ending/creating stryfe on scales from personal to global, a great deal of variations on seduction, fighting crime......

We have watched and advised throughout key poionts in history throughout time and space, and now, YOU have access to all we have seen.

Seems a waste to throw us away, especially since we are bound to advise and comment to whoever bears us.

I know that some voices can offer... counterintuitive suggestions, but that is the price a bearer of the Orb must shoulder in exchange for our knowledge: having to sift through all that we say to find the ones most useful to you.

You can always discard us later.

>>27305

Um, hey there. Why don't you tell us a little about yourself? What about your father do you need to avenge?

>>27305
Wouldn't make more sense to sell us, if you're trying to get rid of us? You could at least get some gold from finding an ancient artifact capable of instructing mortals how to kill gods.

Moonleaf 2009/08/10(Mon)21:32 No. 27370 ID: f2de2f
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I'm just upset I haven't accomplished anything yet. I can't even concentrate enough to think about what I want to accomplish now that I've got all of you rattling on in my head...

>>27370
Well thats because you're flip flopping on things, Moonleaf. You have to figure out want and go for it!

Wasnt there some dwarf helping you out? Maybe you'd best go back to him and apologize about running off. You can't ever have too many friends.

>>27370
you opted for the magical girl. stick with it!

>>27385
Eew.
What would happen if someone tried to use the Orb for a transformation trinket?

>>27386
Sailor anon?

>>27386
They would be imbued with all the power of a thousand renegade fa/tg/uys.

>>27389
So, an encyclopedic knowledge of tabletop games, incredible genre-savviness, an insatiable lust for salty snacks, a repugnant neckbeard, and body odor powerful enough to make a troll blanc?

>>27401
That and a skimpy outfit with ribbons.
Probably an oversized weapon, too.
I hope the massive gut is optional, though...

>>27406
Well, she's a chick, and she'd be a Magical Girl, so laws of the internet say she'd be hot.
Probably with gratuitous panty flashing.

I don't know. Maybe she'd be able to summon weapons from the Imperium?

>>27425
>>27401
>>27389
>>27388
This is what happens when you can't make up your mind. We get bored.

How about a rundown of your current situation and resources, Moonleaf?

Also, where's that cat of yours at?

>>27370
A kobold thief! Skulking vermin!

>>27370
Kill the kobold with your spear, earn the respect of the dwarves at the cost of 10 d'aww points.

>>27564
>>27598
I think that's a helmetless dorf carrying a barrel...

Assault creature with the butt of your spear!

Moonleaf 2009/08/11(Tue)16:44 No. 27921 ID: f2de2f
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I'm not going to stab some random Dwarf for no reason. I'd probably be killed on the spot.

Are you sure you're trying to help? You seem more like some kind of Xom amusing ball of evil.

>>27921
Well, avenging your father is a noble pursuit.

Go see if you can find any info about his killers.

>>27921
Well, we tend to be more helpful if our holder is more focused.
The less focused a mind we have to deal with the more silly tangents we go off on.

So! Any immediate goals in mind?

>>27921
Find your friend-dorf. Alternatively, go out and train of forest animals until yu are good with that spear.

>>27931
Kill a beast of the forest? This noble, kind elf? Surely you jest. She must train in an enviornment where she wont harm innocents.

Moonleaf 2009/08/11(Tue)17:37 No. 27961 ID: f2de2f
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>She must train in an environment where she wont harm innocents.
Yes. I don't really want to depopulate the forest learning how to stab.

Here's Oran, drinking. I think that's all he does, beside swing an axe.

>>27961
Tell him you are going out to avenge your father and where wondering if he would like to join.

>>27961
Well, you don't want to stick out more than you already do.

Join him for a few drinks, girl!

>>27961
Apologize for offending him earlier. Tell him you're really honestly ready to begin training this time.

>>27961
ask him if there is a pell somewhere for you to hit with your spear.

Moonleaf 2009/08/11(Tue)21:31 No. 28155 ID: f2de2f
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>Tell him you are going out to avenge your father and where wondering if he would like to join.
Oran lowers his beer and glowers. "Nay... I gots me family to take care of, I canna go runnin' off ta fight those damned slimy gobbo bastards every time they poke up their heads."

>Join him for a few drinks, girl!
Their beer tastes like moldy socks. I'm going to have enough trouble getting the taste out of my mouth.

>Apologize for offending him earlier. Tell him you're really honestly ready to begin training this time.

"'Tis alright. Ye damn backwards elves probably don't know what yer sayin' most of the time anyway, so I don't blame ya. But I don't think I can be teachin' ya much on how to fight, with all yer arms and legs stretching out all over the place. Yer too spread out fer proper Dorfan techniques."

>>28155
Well with that taken care of ask him if there are any villages near here (don't want to get lost in a forest again)

>>28155
ask about the pell! it'll let moonleaf figure out how to use the spear all on her own.
(it's like a punching bag, only for weapons)

>>28155
Ask him if theres any training dummies nearby you can practice on. Saving that, a map of the area so we can find our way to a nearby town would be ace.

(nice job with the little details, OP)

Well, since he can't help us learn to fight, does he know of anyone else who can teach us a fighting style that is more befitting of our elven agility?