Tim Beam!HDYj3q2CCU 2010/12/26(Sun)11:23 No. 266813 ID: f604d6
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...Namely, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

looks like a bird. Check the fridge for giant eggs.

>>266813
pluck it and deep fry it

>>266813
Looks like some kinda bird thing crashed at your place.

I'd say the first course of action would be to wake it up?

>>266813
Oh, oh fuck.

Okay, don't panic man. Chill out. That right there is, uh, a bird in a sweater. What you've gotta do is tell us how close you are to a park, how many shovels you own, and how many friends you have that you reaaaaally trust enough to keep a secret.

Why, it's a Nevrean!
>>266815

Is it a very vibrant bird? That means it is a male and you shouldn't hit on it when it wakes up! I mean unless you're into that.

Shove that bird onto the couch, it looks like you're getting ready to rape it to anyone coming in.

Well, it's probably a girl. That's a start, right?

Hahaha okay shake their shoulders and wake them up.

She's passed out, in position and is the first girl in this quest. You know what to do.

Wake her up and hit on her. Tell her how cute she was as she slept.

Well, you didn't get laid at the party and you have a nice bird passed out on your table with its tail in the air.

Open invitation for you to get what you missed last night!

Take bucket, fill it with cold water, splash the bird with it and tell it to GTFO from your home.

If that is your home.

Buttrape. Why do you even ask?

Well my good man, it looks like your party...

...was for the birds.

Check for brightly colored plumage. If yes, then it is a male. If no, then it is a female.

Also cold splash of water to the face always works.

Tim Beam!HDYj3q2CCU 2010/12/26(Sun)12:00 No. 266838 ID: f604d6
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OK. It won't wake up, but it's breathing.

But the other things you suggest are disagreeable. I mean, really. Intercourse this... this THING?

The situation is stressful. I'd appreciate some REAL help.

Fine, you big baby. It's wearing a shirt, right? It probably won't eat your face. Wake it up. Shake it or something.

>>266838
Make sure your door isn't wide open before shenanigans happen. Then move it onto the couch, maybe get a bucket to put near its face.

How the fuck does something like this even happen? What kind of party were you throwing? Open any dimensional portals while playing beer pong?

>>266838
pinch it or do that water bucket thing

Weekfag 2010/12/26(Sun)12:05 No. 266846 ID: 653ea0
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Just maybe...

Turn it around to get a better look at it.

Also, do you have a really big deep-fryer?

>>266846
someone call Saint Nicolas!

>>266838
Roll it onto the couch and put a blanket over it. Then go get some hangover clearing breakfast. Give it a few hours and it will probably wake up and be on its way.

Don't be so picky, I'm sure it's cleaner then many humans you've had!

Poke it with a stick. Keep poking it more incessantly, until it wakes up. If it takes more than 30 seconds, start saying "wake up!" with each poke in as annoying a manner as possible.

>>266838
If it's not gonna wake up, find a more appropriate place for it to be passed out, I guess.

>>266838
Yell "OH MY GOD IT'S A SERGAL AND HE SAYS HE'S HUNGRY FOR FRIED NEVREAN!"

Uh. That particular race isn't usual in your continuity, is it?

Right! A fried breakfast for you and a cold bucket of water for it!

Tim Beam!HDYj3q2CCU 2010/12/26(Sun)12:47 No. 266865 ID: f604d6
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This doesn't really improve the situation at all.

As for the party, it was a normal party. People, music and lots of drinks. There was nothing to indicate any unnatural consequences.

Anyways, I'd prefer to solve this problem before the parents return. It'd be... convenient.

And we do not own a deep-fryer. Not that any form of cooking would be a proper solution to the issue at hand.

>>266865
There is a large animal in your house. It might be dangerous. Call animal control. Do not approach the animal again. You idiot.

Well, you don't seem up for a drastic solution like alien BBQ then.
Look for the inter-dimensional portal it stumbled through. It somehow came here, so it can get back.

>>266865
Just turn on the TV in the room and find some decently good chair to sit in. Watch something good or play some games or something. The noise and the light should eventually wake it up. And if it's not up by the time your parents are likely to arrive then just dump it out on the streets.

Tim Beam!HDYj3q2CCU 2010/12/26(Sun)12:59 No. 266869 ID: f604d6
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>>Call animal control.

>>Call animal control.

>>Call animal control.

>>Call animal control.

>>Call animal control.

>>266865
I disagree. There is no problem that deep-frying can't solve, and if I'm wrong, I don't want to be right.

Do you have any sharpies

Write on its beak. Write GO AWAY on its beak, and then put a mirror next to it.

Alternatively, have you tried to wake it up yet?

...Hey, you know you should check your bathroom, just in case.

>>266866

What? No. If it was an animal, it would lack the faculties necessary to, for example, blend in at a party and get drunk. Odds are, it's sentient.

No, you get your hangover over with so that you can think a bit more rationally, and then we wait until that thing gets up so it can tell you what the hell it's doing at your place to begin with.

If you don't want anyone to see it, perhaps you could carry it to your room and hide it there until it wakes up.

>>266874
That's crazy. Bears crawl into people's houses while they're unconcious all the time seeking food and warmth. Then they wake up when disturbed and KILL EVERYONE.

This is obviously some kind of big killer chicken and the professionals need to be brought in to trap it.

Cover the thing up and put it on a proper bed.

Check the body for a zipper.

>>266869
If you get Animal Control involved they'll tell your parents.
Better try to find out how it even got in your house. And your on your world I guess, unless giant bird creatures are more common than one would assume

Excellent! Reward yourself with some noodles.

>>266882
>Y.I.H.
oh u

I think at this point we can be fairly certain of what is going on. One of your guests must have had a friend who really knows his/her way around costumes. Cosplayer probably. And it just so happens that this person is really, really poor at holding their liqour.

Be a gracious host and make some breakfast for the elaborately-costumed individual, he/she is likely to awaken at some point.

>>266882
Go make sure there's not anything worse in the basement.

>>266886
yes, who knows what freaky shit followed you home

>>266894
You got some sort of freaky birdrape place in the basement? Shit man, you're fucked. Better burn down the house and cash in on the insurance.

>>266895
Nah, that's at the Animal Control place.
They take the control part extra serious.

>>266895
>rape
I'm thinking more "humanely putting it down".

Wow, that was fast. And boring. /Quest/ never wants to have a fun time.

Best quest ever.

>>266900

Agreed

Calling professionals was shockingly logical though.

>/quest/ suggests following a reasonable, logical route and calls the proper professionals for the given situation

holy shit what

I demand a do-over. We need another chance to choose something not boring and quest ending this time.

>>266900
>>266908

You guys have no sense of humor. You can be funny without sex y'know.

Rand 2010/12/26(Sun)14:37 No. 266918 ID: 9b6c31
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Excellent quest.

>>266869
>>266882

Now that was a satisfying ending.

yay, we won! I approve of this quest!

What would a Bad End have been?
Being caught mid-coitus by the parents?
Starting a rape dungeon?
The thing waking up and doing bad shit?

>>266918
Quite possibly the best possible use of that meme.

>>266912
>You guys have no sense of humor. You can be funny without sex y'know.

This is true. But on the other hand, I wanted something that would last longer than 5 gorram minutes if it were turned into a movie. Yeah, it's funny that he called animal services, and it got taken away. But now it's DONE, and I feel LESS entertained now that it is.

>>266947
Trying to get the thing back to it's homeworld and getting raped by Sergals there.
I would have liked it, but it would have been arguable bad.

>>266950
Sure are a lot of butthurt featheries in this thread.

Some people don't like having fun. Some people like ending quests in 5 updates. Some people have no imagination or ambition or drive. Some people use the word butthurt to describe people they don't like.

>>266982
And some people complain and get insulting when things don't turn out the way they want. The quest is over, that's all she wrote. For once we had a mentally able and sound individual who decided not to deal with the crazy remnants of a party, allowing a professional to handle it. I for one find that hilarious.

There are plenty of other quests featuring possibly deranged characters for /quest/ to place in considerably less desirable situations then what they had hoped.

>>266982
Oh, be fair on yourself---you're not calling me butthurt. :3c

Where is post number 2 and why is the thread not archived although reported as complete?

Suggestion 2010/12/29(Wed)07:09 No. 267550 ID: 133ac0
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>>267543
Interesting question