Start peeping loudly.

>>266992
SING THE SONG OF YOUR PEEPLE

(a bird) 2010/12/26(Sun)18:17 No. 267007 ID: f123de
File 129341626187.png - (80.08KB , 700x400 , ALOTQ1_2.png )

I'm yelling for help as loud as I can! I managed to reach through the bars and find the handle and pull it open and OH SHIT


ESCAPE ARTIST unlocked!
MOUNTAIN CLIMBER unlocked!
obtained SEVENTY-FIVE BROKEN BONES!
SING THE SONG OF MY PEEPLE unlocked!
Furthest bounce: 37.4 feet

50/250 points scored

Suggestion 2010/12/26(Sun)18:32 No. 267009 ID: f5e4b4
File 129341717671.png - (100.30KB , 800x600 , 0000000.png )

You are The Kid, and you have to make your way to the other side of the room, for reasons you don't fully understand.

What do?

Die hundreds of times.

Become THE GUY.

>>267010
Then use your corpses as bridge.

>>267009
go into 3d mode

Think about the choices you've made that led you to this point in your life.

Realize that your desire to be The Guy is just misplaced anger due to longstanding Oedipal issues.

Start a new life selling handmade trinkets to gullible tourists on the beaches of Costa Rica.

>>267009
Go left.

Suggestion 2010/12/26(Sun)19:00 No. 267019 ID: f5e4b4
File 129341882316.png - (67.49KB , 800x600 , 0000001.png )

You die hundreds of times by the spikes until your corpses make a pile you can climb to get to the exit.

But you die anyways.


FUTILITY END ACHIEVED

0 Bandages get

635 Kids died

0 souls lost

>>267009
Make a short hop to the right and a long jump over the pillar and then cry yourself to sleep.

>>267019
THEN DO IT AGAIN

Suggestion 2010/12/26(Sun)19:05 No. 267024 ID: 2563d4
File 129341912986.gif - (23.42KB , 640x480 , ALOTQ-1-1.gif )

HOLY SHIT!

I was driving up the mountain road to visit my weird cousin Steve when this giant...thing landed in front of me! I can't just leave it here---it might cause a horrible accident!

>>267024
Call animal control!

Put it in your car and figure out how much it will sell for.

>>267024
chuck it off the side of the road, but not before looting anything useful from it

>>267024
It must be someone infected with the bird flu. Drive them to the hospital immediately!
Also the broken bones might be something worth a hospital trip.

Use a health pack on it.

>>267024
Best stick it in your car, after pulling a tarp out of the trunk for it to bleed on, and take it to an animal shelter. They can work with a wildlife rehab center to release it once it recovers.

Worst case scenario it dies on the way and you'll have 80 lbs of fried chicken.

Suggestion 2010/12/26(Sun)19:54 No. 267044 ID: 2563d4
File 129342205286.gif - (20.33KB , 640x480 , ALOTQ-1-2.gif )

I'm not even sure where the nearest medical facility is, and there's no mobile signal up here! But my conscience drives me to find medical attention, so I bundle it into the car and drive flat-out the rest of the way up the mountain to Steve's shack.

As luck would know it, he has a friend visiting who is a vet! He says he's got a very secure treatment facility in the basement and even paid me for being a good Samaritan! Wow!


PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS ending.
Nights of sleep lost: 0
Nevreans unknowingly sold: 1
Longest skid: 74 feet
Total profit: $50
CAN YOU HEAR BANJOS? unlocked!

Cirr 2010/12/29(Wed)16:49 No. 267624 ID: fa43b7
File 129367015740.png - (167.17KB , 640x480 , ALOTQ2-1.png )

You're Cirr again. As always, your last instance of QUITTING THE SITE FOREVER lasted about TWO MINUTES.

You have a stack of QUESTS piled up to your side, a stack of POTENTIAL QUEST IDEAS piled up to the other side, and NUMEROUS ROBOTS around you.

You can't stop yourself from making a new quest. You know it's a bad idea because the PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET told you so.

What can you do?

Update A Lot of Tiny Quests. It's the only way. (also, recursion)

>>267624
TIE IT TO A QUEST YOU RAN IN THE PAST, SO IT'S TECHNICALLY JUST A CONTINUATION OR SOMETHING

>>267624
Suddenly and abruptly 'bad-end' all of the current quests in a way that ties into one of the new quests.

>>267624
Hug that Cyral so hard.

>>267629
ACTUALLY THIS IS PROBABLY FUNNIER

DO THIS INSTEAD

Cirr 2010/12/29(Wed)17:29 No. 267650 ID: fa43b7
File 129367254944.png - (150.05KB , 640x480 , ALOTQ2-2.png )

You update that A Lot of Tiny Quests thread you started after STEALING GNOME'S IDEA. It was quite the challenge at the time. Ideas are rather slippery to catch. There was flypaper all over the walls... but you digress, you realise.

After updating it you go hug the Obict-O-Tron 3000. In jealousy, Kata-Bot bad ends all of your quests with a SINGLE UPDATE each.

Free from your quests, you start a NEW QUEST focusing on SILIRW CYRALS and get every single detail wrong, to the point that even the quieter suggesters call you out on it. You mysteriously vanish after seeing some orangey purplish glowy things in a shadow you don't remember being there.

MORE ROBOT HUGS achieved.
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A ROBOT SCORNED achieved.
BAD ENDS achieved.
MISUSE OF QUEST RACES achieved.
ENDED BY DESSEN END achieved.

>>267650
Oh no, now who shall make grimdark with cute characters?

Fox 2010/12/29(Wed)18:14 No. 267679 ID: f123de
File 129367525770.png - (43.92KB , 600x400 , grapes.png )

These grapes look delicious, but they're so high up!

And that stupid bird is watching me again.

What do?

Inventory:
Single-serving maple syrup packet
ACME(tm) catalog
Two (2) 50¢ pieces
Apple core
Yellow potion
Magic marker (dry)
Purple potion
Stolen passport
Box of raisins
Cat hair
Plasma rifle
Three (3) Self-adhesive emeralds

Pay the bird one 50¢ piece to get the grapes for you.

Oh dear. You've got the syrup and the cat hair but you haven't got the red hat or the gold coat. NOW how are you going to look like Mosely?

...Uh, I mean, shoot the branch with the plasma rifle.

>>267683
Shoot the BIRD with the plasma rifle. You are a fox. Meat is delicious.

>>267679
Adhere an emerald to each coin and magnetise them by hitting them with the barrel of the plasma rifle, and the third to the tip of your tail (wave this back and forth to distract the bird while performing the rest of these instructions). Order a bottle of Earthquake Pills from the ACME catalog, using the stolen passport as proof of age. Set the magic marker absorbing the purple potion. Break the now-dented plasma rifle apart for spare wiring and wind it into a coil using the apple core as a former. Connect the ends to the syrup packet and place it at the base of the tree. Pour out the Earthquake Pills and, since we're out of birdseed, cover them with a pile of raisins which have been recoloured using the yellow potion. Fold the box inside out and write "FREE FOOD" on it as a sign using the now-refilled magic marker. When the bird swallows up the whole pile and starts vibrating vigorously, attach a coin-emerald at either end and place it within the coil of plasma rifle wire. The generated power should detonate the terrible sugar-energies of the syrup and begin a sap-chain-reaction which will vapourise the tree. Quickly form a cushioning mat from the cat hair to catch the grapes.

Remove the emerald from your tail or, alternatively, enjoy your new murry-purry jewelry.

Fox 2010/12/29(Wed)19:27 No. 267708 ID: f123de
File 129367963051.png - (89.15KB , 600x400 , grapes2.png )

"Hey bird get me grapes!"

Quoth the raven, "No."

"You can have one of these shiny money!"

"Ok."

Then when he's getting the grapes I shoot him.
Man, I hated that bird.

BACKSTABBER END unlocked!
DELICIOUS GRAPES acquired!
FUCK THE RULES I HAVE MONEY achieved!
BOOM HEADSHOT achieved!

1/0 ENEMIES KILLED
0/3 SECRETS FOUND
You have never hit with a wielded weapon.
You have never genocided any monsters.
You have never polymorphed an object.
You used no wishes.
You survived.

You have unlocked Narus!

Suggestion 2010/12/30(Thu)09:53 No. 267814 ID: 2563d4
File 129373162514.gif - (21.59KB , 640x480 , ALOTQ-2-1.gif )

You are EBENEZER SCROOGE. A few nights ago you had some really restless sleep and woke up the very embodiment of Christmas goodwill and charity.

Now looking over the books, you realize that the implications of your generous debt writeoffs and other donations are that you will be completely bankrupt before the New Years' celebrations are over, leaving your faithful clerk Bob Cratchit unemployed, and Tiny Tim doomed. But to even think of going back on your words makes you feel the sickeningly constricting jangle of chains.

What do?

First off you need to look into getting a good tax attorney. If you can't figure out how to write off your recent shenanigans as a charitable donation then how the hell did you have the financial acumen to become a wealthy old miser anyway? However, this leaves you with a short-term financial deficit while waiting for your tax return.

There's only one logical solution: take up an after-hours life of charitable bank-robbing in some sort of silly costume, such as the Ghost of Christmas Present's get-up.

Sell some of your more valuable possessions to keep you running until new years, and then as the celebrations are over you go back to your old ways. Business is buisniess and christmas is christmas, if you have to be mean for you and your employee to survive then so be it.

>>267814
Only two things to do. Take out a big loan from some weakminded fool and then get into the opium trade and the colonisation buisness. That should give you some good money in the longterm.

Short term you're going to have to start up a protection racket. Get some guns, some highly flammable liquids and then start a protection racket for opium dens, use tiny Tim and his friends as hitmen/enforcers. When a opium den or 3 has burned down and everyone in them has been brutally killed you should get the rest to pay up.

Cut back on your donations while taking out a loan. Continue normal business practices until you can pay the loan off, then continue further donation-giving with moderation and a small pocket of capital to fall back on.

In other words, be Lawful Good, not Stupid Good.

Suggestion 2010/12/30(Thu)12:13 No. 267834 ID: 2563d4
File 129374001560.gif - (17.48KB , 640x480 , ALOTQ-2-2.gif )

You sell some of your meager possessions, your frugality not affording much in the way of material pleasantries, to bankroll a small criminal operation and set to work, telling yourself that you're only working to undermine the inhumane practices of some of your past colleagues; a modern-day Robin Hood, as it were.

Imminent disaster averted, you tone down both your previously gouging business practices and your recent charitable exuberance to sustainable levels. When the last of your years expire, you leave a moderate but stable and well-respected financial firm in the hands of Bob Cratchit.

The building is later repurposed as a trendy wine bar.

VAGUELY SENSIBLE END achieved!
+1 PRAGMATISM
-1 PONDEROUS CHAINS
+1 BAFFLEMENT over the infamous Christmas Robberies to a very young Sherlock Holmes

Slinkoboy 2010/12/31(Fri)19:29 No. 268132 ID: 6547ec
File 129385258343.png - (127.69KB , 600x450 , gnoll 3.png )

You are a hardboiled and extremely grimdark male gnoll who has been betrayed by your LOVED ONE. Okay, technically you did it first, but she took things TOO FAR.

On a completely unrelated note, you now have METAL PANTS.

You slap your fist into your palm as you declare that she must PAY. But how?

Kick her through time and space with your mighty Metal Crotch Thrust!

>>268132
Take control of the tribe by defeating the current chieftain, and then have her publicly humiliated in some fashion and maybe exiled.

>>268132

Get her stuck in a room with you and tell her she cannot leave until she gets through your pants

>>268132
Attempt to reconcile your relationship with her through the medium of talking through its failure and, most importantly, hugs.

>>268135
>>268136

Both of these at the same time.

>>268132
Get drunk and engage in drunken slander behind her back. Surefire way.

>>268132
Eat her fucking name.

Slinkoboy 2011/01/01(Sat)03:44 No. 268204 ID: 6547ec
File 129388225032.png - (127.16KB , 600x450 , gnoll 4.png )

>>268137
You trap her in a room and tell her the only way out is through your pants! She remarks that she's already been there and it was not a fun trip.

You both exchange verbal blows at the expense of each other's sexual performance and low placement in the caste until finally having a moment of silence. You hug her and softly tell her you're sorry. The dragonbold caught you in a moment of weakness and you never meant to hurt her.

She pauses and then hugs back, saying she guesses they're even now. You tell her it will take time, but you would like to work hard to save this relationship. She agrees.

Slinkoboy 2011/01/01(Sat)03:49 No. 268205 ID: 6547ec
File 129388256810.png - (120.45KB , 600x450 , gnoll 5.png )

>>268133
PSYCH BITCH!!! You suddenly thrust at her with such power and ferocity that she is thrown into a hole in spacetime!

>>268172
You eat the shit out of her name! You call out saying that's what she gets and you hope somebody names her "Ed" or something! Because it's a boy's name! Yeah! ZING!

NON-SLINKOBOY END GET
OBTAINED: HUG UNDER FALSE PRETENSES
OBTAINED: SNEAKY BOOB-GRAB
OBTAINED: AN EGG NAMED THE "TIME SWITCH"
1/1 BITCHES PUNKED
2/3 GRIMDARK MOMENTS
1/1 HELL YEAH
SCORE: TOZOL

EARNED ACHIEVEMENT: DO AN UPDATE IN LESS THAN 5 IMAGES