Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/26(Sun)20:20 No. 234401 ID: 1ef7bb
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It is very dark here. Hardly anything can be -

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/26(Sun)20:21 No. 234403 ID: 1ef7bb
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"Ah, 'tis the morning of my rebirth and the resurrection of..."

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/26(Sun)20:21 No. 234404 ID: 1ef7bb
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"CASTLEVANIA!!"

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/26(Sun)20:21 No. 234405 ID: 1ef7bb
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A beautiful night! What should I do first?!

>>234405
SKELETONS

MAKE THEM

yes, we need some minions, so we don't have to do any real work ourselves.

Acquire a wineglass.

Toss it aside scornfully, then have at some dude.

>>234405
Go tell Death to make you some pot roasts.

>>234409
This gentleman makes a point. Check on status of WINE CELLAR. Certainly, they've aged well with our timeless sleep.

Summon your top tier villains, Death being numero uno. Then make some baddies while contemplating how to CRUSH the belmonts.

Make some undead things, check on any pets, maybe eat a bat

>>234409
Not -yet-. Just class up the place by having wine at the ready.

Also, develop a cult that worships you, that would be cool.

Fill your castle with Zubats that know only supersonic and leech life, they should piss off every would-be vampire hunter off in your base so bad that they'll never want to come back.

>>234405
Call up your posse of boss monsters, of course! You can have a party, make plans, possibly share ideas on how to not all get slaughtered by one dude with a whip this time around.

>>234405
Drain some virgins and mix their blood with wine, so you can stand around and look mysterious and shit while drinking it in a gentlemanly fashion.

Oh, and call up some minions, must have minions in a big drafty castle like this.

Bring out your custodian stick and lead the orchestra before you and create fantastic music.

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/26(Sun)21:23 No. 234481 ID: 1ef7bb
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All good suggestions! Except... I don't remember my head being so full of voices before.

"GOOD MORNING DRACULA~!!"

"If it isn't my loyal acquaintance, DEATH!"

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/26(Sun)21:23 No. 234482 ID: 1ef7bb
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"DEATH, I would like some wine and pot roast!"

"I'm sorry, Dracula, we didn't prepare any for your arrival! I'll have the servants bring some up as soon as possible!"

"Screw it, I'll get some myself. Where's the winery?!"

"Oh... you mean right now?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't I?!"

"Well, it's just the castle changes every time it's rebirthed, you know. It will take some time to figure out where everything is. Round up all the minions, take stock of our supplies. It's the natural product of having a castle powered by the RAW FORCES OF CHAOS and all."

"Oh. ... Oh that's right."

"If you'd like, I can have a map set up as soon as possible!"

Those maps are TERRIBLE. They always cover like the next area you're going to, but never have any of the useful secret passages. Go punch some walls until meat comes out, and worry about the wine after you've calmed down a little.

No, no maps. That asshole librarian you keep around will just sell it to the first Belmont that comes wandering through. Seriously, why haven't you fired that guy? Is he union or something?

>>234482
Tell Death to get too it while you go outside to survey the landscape for small rural villages and fair maidens to abduct.

Get map

Memorize it

Burn the fuck out of it

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/26(Sun)22:49 No. 234582 ID: 1ef7bb
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>>234485
> PUNCH SOME WALLS
"GRAAAAAHHHH!! DAMNIT DEATH!! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. I WANT POTROAST! YOU SHOULD HAVE PREPARED!!"
"I'm sorry, Master, but you're ahead of schedule again! We had no idea you'd show up!"

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/26(Sun)22:49 No. 234583 ID: 1ef7bb
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>>234490
> Go outside to survey the landscape for small rural villages and fair maidens to abduct.
> Tell Death to get to it.
You know what? This is a good idea. I'm going to go blow off some steam.

"FINE THEN! I'm going out. You better have this together by the time I get back. I WANT A MAP. AND POTROAST. AND NO ASSHOLE LIBRARIANS. AND FIX THIS HOLE I JUST MADE!!"

DEATH?!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/26(Sun)22:50 No. 234584 ID: 1ef7bb
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Oh dear. Master Dracula is in one of his moods again. He's so moody. Well, I suppose I can prepare a meal and set a few things in order for his return. ... Hm.

I'm detecting an odd flux of chaos in this area. How strange. It's like a thousand tiny voices screaming in unison. How annoying. Are you there, Voices of Chaos? Can you hear?

DEATH?!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/26(Sun)22:50 No. 234585 ID: 1ef7bb
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I suppose it's no surprise to you, but the castle is inexorably linked to the forces of Primal Chaos itself. It's what gives it much of its power and is a great boon to our work. The downside being that it's terribly difficult to find the bathroom every time it's rebuilt.

Because you're part of Chaos, you can help me set things up for the Master. Do me a favor and go over some of rooms we might have. I'm sure they'll all coalesce together somehow.

There's a great range of options: Master Dracula has had any number of rooms in the past, including gardens, graveyards, ballrooms, cathedrals, guest rooms, prisons, barracks, laboratories, catacombs, observatories, libraries, hallways, great stairwells, dining halls, store rooms, and almost anything else you can think of. You can even suggest motifs if you like.

Why, the only thing I'm absolutely certain we'll end up with is an ENTRANCE HALL, CLOCK TOWER, and THRONE ROOM (with an accompanied INNER SANCTUM), which have all appeared in every iteration to date, although I'm sure you can decide what they look like.

So please have fun with it. But don't try to pin things down too harshly, alright? The more you try to control Chaos, the harder it writhes, and then you might end up with something truly horrible! ... and do take note that your decisions may effect our future gameplay, won't you?

... hm. From my much more limited ability to sense what goes on in this castle... I would estimate we have roughly TEN AREAS of the castle, give or take one or two. So keep that in mind as you decide.

Well, I'm off to prepare for Master's return. Enjoy yourselves!

SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO SAY..... HHNNNNNNNGGGGGG

Huff.... anyway, can we have an area take up two spaces? I would like to see one MASSIVE clock tower area.

For fun times.
Oh, Death... maybe you could make your personal home in the mega clock tower...... eh?

>>234585
ENTRANCE HALL
CLOCK TOWER
THRONE ROOM (with an accompanied INNER SANCTUM),
1)DANCE HALL (ghost themed with some skeletons)
2)CATACOMBS (shove all the skellies you can fit in here, also Legion cause he's a bro)
3) Gardens (plants and animals)
4) Courtyard (living statues, skellies, some birds of some kind)
5) Aviary (BIRDS, BATS, anything with wings that can fly.)
6) Boiler room (FIRE! Elementals, flaming skellies, fire armors, etc, also metal dudes)
7) Laboratory (poison slimes and whatnot)
8) Colliseum (battle-themed enemies, swords and sheilds and stuff. More enemy density than other places)
9) Armory (animated weapons and armor, ahoy!)
10) Factory (robots 'n' shit, MORE GEARS, treadmills, spikes, crushers, zombie workers, rivet machines)

>>234585
Definitely need some sort of aquatic area, filled with brutal fish-people and waterlogged zombies. Maybe a large catacombs section, half of which is flooded? And caverns! Caverns leading to dungeons! Underground areas are important.

Other things. No castle is complete without a laboratory. But perhaps that's not creative enough. Perhaps some sort of forging/smithing area, for the creation of unholy weapons and legions of demonically powered clockwork minions?

spike room. right after the entry hall. a room made entirely of deadly spikes, with no way shape or form to cross them without flying. that will show those vampire hunters who's boss!

if making it impossible to go through is one of those things that cannot be done then at least a room MOSTLY made of spikes that is very very hard to get through without a certain power up, the power up in question is right AFTER that room and will never be used again.

Snake pit room.

Naturally, filled with poisonous snakes and medusa heads.

One area should be broken-down and non-Euclidean, just to really screw with people. :3c

>>234585
Volcanic Cavern! ...at the top! Put it at the top they will be so confused.
A Dungeon, a Library, and a Forest out front are all pretty simple and important.
Oh man can we get an Entertainment Center? Like, full of TVs and movie screens and such! When are we, can we be in the mid-to-late 1900s?
We need a water level, too. Flooded cavern is overdone, let's have an actual built-in Aquarium! Full of demonic fish from around the who cares where they are demons.
Oh man speaking of enemy themed areas, Dinosaurs. Make a dinosaur area. Put them in the forest. But move it into the courtyard, they need to be in the castle.
And a kitchen! Food is important, let's get some good food.
Also on the note of practical areas, treasury. Maybe we will need to buy stuff. As chaos made, it comes full of valuables, right? Free money! And if we don't need to spend it we get to be rich. Awesome.

>>234585
Hmm. Well, let's see.

Obviously, any vampire hunter should be lead through the most obscene labyrinth of a castle to reach us, so I would throw out a token FRUSTRATINGLY DIFFICULT AREA or two. How about a whole area consisting of a crumbling bridge over a fast-sweeping river in the garden, filled with medusa heads?

A truly classy master will of course have his own WINE CELLAR, possibly as part of a larger-scale basement or kitchen / dining hall area. If an entire WINE CELLAR area is too much, then perhaps we could just have a MINIBAR or small WINE STORAGE AREA not far from the main throne room. What I'm saying is that wine is important.

LABORATORIES are awesome.

Let's combine the FACTORY and VOLCANIC AREA ideas to create a steam-driven hell of tubes and pressure gauges in the basement. The kind that explode into bursts of steam on unwary heroes and fuel doomsday machines.

How could you ever forget the Museum of Spike Traps?

>>234606
No library! Then we'll get an asshole librarian who sells maps!

>>234596
I really like this layout. Instead of a Laboratory, though, we should have a Kitchen, so we can get nice food up in this. And we can hold feasts in the honor of invading heroes, and be a classy fucker.

Let's use one of the underground areas for clockwork horrors. A wide variety of gear run monsters and living puppets. It can lead back up into the clock tower itself.

>>234714

Forgot to mention that the entire area is a musty wood walled place with abandoned gears and tools in the background.

>>234713
>I really like this layout. Instead of a Laboratory, though, we should have a Kitchen, so we can get nice food up in this. And we can hold feasts in the honor of invading heroes, and be a classy fucker.

How about a FEAST HALL, where the food comes to life in every room?

And the food happens to be... monsters, roasted whole. Maybe some cooked zombies? And zombie cooks, ahah! we are so very clever.

For the volcanic underground area, have it be half ice and half lava.
And the ice only melts when someone steps on it.
And there's no traction and lava pits.
And hell, let's throw some spikes in there too.
Flying fireballs and coldballs, some floaty spirit things that lurve to toss low-damage attacks at the hunter when they're in the middle of a jump...

Oh, and a series of floating gardens with luck-based travel between them. Going back takes you to an exit that closes behind you, while going forwards takes you to one of seven or eight random sections.
Then make one of them absurdly hard to get to.

Suggestion 2010/09/27(Mon)07:41 No. 234759 ID: 9618e3
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>>234585
Left to right, top to bottom

Upper castle
1: Chapel of the Unholy. Can't go without one of these.
2: Banquet Hall & Kitchens. Master won't have to go far for his pot roast and red wine. Make sure to hire crazy butchers who use intruders as sources of meat.

Middle castle
3: Library.
4: Gallery of Madness. Let's go crazy here. Mix real portraits with living ones and monsters standing in frames. Make it so some of the doors and passages are disguised as paintings. Make it non-Euclidean too just to fuck with people.
5: Colosseum and Armoury.

Ground floor
6: Black Necromantic Alchemical Sorcery Laboratory. Make science!
7: Gardens of Perpetual Night, with werewolves and giant man-eating plants.

Basement
8: Catacombs.
9: Lava caverns sound like a great idea. Let's try something new. We're not on a volcano? Fuck that, we're Chaos! There'll be lava because we say there is!
10: Dungeons/torture chambers.

>>234585
Have the room following the entrance hall be another hall.
Completely cover every surface in spikes and release a bunch of Medusa heads into it.
Oh, and none of those annoying poles that provide a fulcrum for whip-wielding interlopers, or floating platforms that aren't covered with spikes, or swimmable water, or anything else to help them get through.

>>234760
Pfft. That's silly. And besides,

>But don't try to pin things down too harshly, alright? The more you try to control Chaos, the harder it writhes, and then you might end up with something truly horrible!

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/27(Mon)19:36 No. 234925 ID: 1ef7bb
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Huh? Oh, it's you again. The Voices. Where are you coming from, anyway?

Well, no matter. I was just finishing up here. What do you think of this upstart? Should I end it quick or slow?

hmm, that is a pretty damn brave upstart. nothing but the clothes on his back and no hope of beating you... let him live, leave him in this dead town.

>>234925
Kidnap her and bring her back to the castle.
Then treat her to a nice pot roast dinner and fine wine. Give her the finest clothes and accommodations you have.
Just as she's getting used to living there, send her back to town exactly the same as you picked her up.

Oh, him? He's trying to kill you, so drop a bag of gold and then leave him alone.

>>234925
Speech at him about how helplessly weak he is. "Hah! Is this all the might that mankind has to offer? The night fears no such insignificant beings." And then just fly off with the damsel.

Set him, and the town, on fire.
Then kidnap the girl. Make some nice dinner plans.

>>234925
Hmm, such valor in the face of overwhelming force! He'll make an excellent skeletal knight, once you've slain him. You can even assign him to protect/guard the girl, to make it poetically appropriate.

>>234934
No.
If we're going to do that, then make him an incubus and her a succubus. Then lock them together in a room and forget about them.

>>234925
Gotta tell ya Drac, you're screwed.

If you leave him alive, he'll grow stronger than you can imagine and try to kill you.

If you kill him, he'll turn out to be the FATHER of some upstart who'll grow stronger than you can imagine and try to kill you.

Clearly the only answer is to put a curse on his entire bloodline so they can never harm you again.

Wait... why are we assuming that being inevitable defeated is not a natural part of the order of things? I mean, we come back anyway, and in order to play the villain properly we need a nemesis.

The solution is obvious, track down his entire family and kill them all, not curse them you silly geese.

Turn him into some kind of weird minion thing.

>>234925
What a horrible night for a curse...

Smack him around some!

Death needs a few minutes to put together the castle, so take your time.

>>234925
Oh slow, very very slow. Drag him along as your personal manservant. Forced to wait upon you and his ex for an eternity, always lucid and in full knowledge of what he's doing but unable to stop it.

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/27(Mon)23:41 No. 235097 ID: 1ef7bb
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>>234926 >>234929
> pretty damn brave upstart
> how helplessly weak
> nothing but the clothes on his back
Hmhmhm! How true. Such a whelp is no threat to me. I suppose I can let him live.

"Hah! Is this all that mankind has to offer? What insignificant beings..."
???: "Callous monster! Mankind will fight to the last against you!"
"Hahaha... is that so? Then I look forward to seeing the last one fall."


>>234939
> He'll grow stronger than you can imagine...
Believe me, I have a very strong imagination.

>>234942
> The solution is obvious, track down his entire family and...
FAR too much effort. I'd sooner have the minions do it! And I have none just now.

>>234943 >>234943
> Put a curse on him.

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/27(Mon)23:41 No. 235098 ID: 1ef7bb
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"Until that day... you'll should learn to bow like the dog that you are!"

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/27(Mon)23:41 No. 235099 ID: 1ef7bb
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"Hahaha! Silly rabbit!"

>>234932
> Set the town on fire!
Already done! Admittingly, it's not my best work, but I wasn't trying that hard.

"WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT FOR A CURSE."

This is the best curse

Freaking awesome :D

Freaking awesome :D

>>235099
Excellent. Now back to the castle with ye, we'll need to secure this lady somewhere for a hero to come and try to save her.

Maybe tie her to the hands of the clock tower.

>>235099
Now wipe the girl's memory and raise her as one of your own (bosses)!

We are coming from chaos. The resurrection of Castlevania drew chaos like us near. I would assume the more destruction and mayhem you spread the c learer we will become.

>>235099
Good work, now back to the castle and be the most gracious and gentlemanly host a lady could ask for. We shall put her off balance and willingly make her give up her blood for our sake.

Oh this is the night, it's a beautiful night
And we call it bella notte
Look at the skies, they have stars in their eyes
On this lovely bella notte.
Side by side with your loved one,
You'll find enchantment here.
The night will weave its magic spell,
When the one you love is near!
Oh this is the night, and the heavens are right!
On this lovely bella notte!

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/28(Tue)14:28 No. 235277 ID: 1ef7bb
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>>235106
> We are coming from Chaos. The resurrection of Castlevania drew Chaos like us near.
Is that so? I suppose that's plausable. Castlevania is a great font of Chaos energy, being linked so closely. Well, if Chaos wishes to aid me, I won't refuse. Just try not to be too distracting.

> I would assume the more destruction and mayhem you spread the clearer we will become.
You know surprisingly little about Chaos considering you're part of it. Destruction and mayhem are just a product, with no power of their own. Chaos itself is a force, a universal constant which sets Hell and Earth in motion. As melodramatic as it may seem, the capitalization is important. It is a thing in itself, and that is what Castlevania is linked to.

As long as Castlevania stands, that should be enough to keep you near. You come in quite clearly to me. But then I am also linked to this place. Only those who are sensitive to Chaos would probably be able to make you out otherwise.

I haven't a clue why you should appear now, as opposed to all the other times, but these things are hardly predictable.

... This girl is still crying.

"It's good to have you back, Master Dracula. Have you noticed an odd fluxuation of Chaos at all?"
"I've become passively aware of it, yes."
"Well... as long as it doesn't bother you, I suppose there's no need to be concerned. I prepared your roast and wine, as you wished. And I've had a map laid out of the castle while you were out."
"Ah, good. I'll take a look now."

...

DEATH?!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/28(Tue)14:29 No. 235278 ID: 1ef7bb
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Hmhmhm. I suppose you're not completely useless. You managed to create a home, and you haven't annoyed Master Dracula. I'll let you do as you wish for now. Before I leave, however, I'll give you a quick description of the castle rooms. Try to remember it, won't you?

From left to right, and bottom to top:

BELOW GROUND -
Aquariatic Aqueduct: A system of pipes and resevoirs. There are a number of fish as well. Selective locations can be flooded and drained through proper use of pipes, but I couldn't be bothered to experiment in the time allowed.
Obsidian Catacombs: A series of rough carved halls. It's between the Aqueduct and Boiler rooms, so the stone is obsidian. If we need more, we can use the pipes in the adjoining rooms to pump water and magma together. Bravo, for style and functionality!
Magma Boiler: More pipes and resevoirs. There's a lot of magma here, as well as machinery to control it. Truthfully, it's like a more industrial version of the Aqueduct, except no fish can survive here.

GROUND FLOOR -
Forest: Not a room, but I heard some of you whispering, so I felt it worth mentioning. Also worth mentioning is that no forces can spawn there, but it's close enough that we can put them in.
Courtyard: It's an area outside the castle. I don't know what else to say to you.
Entrance Hall: I don't think you put any thought into design, so it's generic. Becomes progressively more broken the closer it gets to the Armoury, however.
Broken Armoury: You tried to make some sortof impassable spike room, didn't you? There are spikes, but they're not arranged. There are prisons, but half of them are broken or set up past impassable spikes. The weapons are all rusted, useless things. It's all useless, or far too much effort to deal with. You're better off using the catacombs for storage. I guess it adds a certain touch, though.
Pit of Despair: Haha! This cuts down the castle. Anyone who falls gets a trip through spike filled walls. Then it dumps them in the Catacombs. There's a bridge along the bottom, but it's not sturdy. Makes a handy trash chute in a pinch.
Smelting Factory: The Magma Boiler provides plenty of ore, and limitless obsidian. Tons of gears and some assembly lines. We can craft all manner of weaponry, armour, and some golems as well. It's more a smithy than anything, though.

SECOND FLOOR -
Shattered Library: Do you have something against libraries? It's as if you hate them, and couldn't stop thinking about it. The books are all burnt and torn and in disarray. We've got some non-euclidian geometry, too, so walking up one aisle will take you down another. It's all a confusing mess. No sane librarian would work here.
Gallery of Madness: Portaits line these walls, some of which are portals or pocket realms. I'm sure you could abuse that somehow. We also have a movie projector somewhere. How delightful!
Alchemic Laboratory: Lots of chemicals, slime, and embalming fluid. If you need some kind of potion, this is the place. Also a research area for the more 'scientific' fields of magic.

THIRD FLOOR -
Hanging Gardens of the Endless Night: It has no ceiling, but it's walled in, open to the night air. Several large platforms are floating, with plants all along them. Filled with all manner of plants and night animals. It's much easier if you know how to fly.
Festhall of Rising Spirits: So what you're saying is that wine is important? I think we have enough to inebriate the castle ten times. Of course, there are kitchens and dining halls, too. But what we have most of is wine. There are minibars and full bars, a wine cellar or two. It's all staffed by ghosts. Ah, wit...
Throne Room: Again, you didn't seem to worry at all, so it's the same opulance as always. Well, don't mess with the classics, I guess. It still looks very nice. Only the best for Lord Dracula.
Industrial Clock Tower: This is massive! It extends far lower than normal. The Magma Boiler and Factory are even spiritual extensions, providing geothermal power and gears, respectively. It's like one giant industrial clockwork mechanism that extends up the side of the castle. Oh, don't mind the steam, it'll just knock you to the floor, is all! I'd even go so far to say it's FRUSTRATINGLY DIFFICULT! Kehehe! If I had a heart, I think it would be touched. I'm quite happy.

...

>>235277
HOORAY! The broken armory sounds nearly perfect!

Dracula, don't let people say that you're a poor host! Have the maid take her off to be bathed and dressed in better clothing, then to a nice dinner.

>>235278
Get the festhall of rising spirits prepared. We shall put of a grand ball for our new guest and dazzle her like she has never been dazzled before. Have to be a genteleman after all, otherwise you would just be some sort of B grade monster.

>Winery and dining hall staffed by spectral servants
This sounds perfect.

>>235277
We may be a monster, but we are a gentleman monster. Invite the maiden to a nice dinner before you feast, won't you?

>>235278
>Do you have something against libraries?
FUCKIN' BOOKS MAN.

>>235278
Oh god, the layout of the castle is awesome!

>Industrial Clock Tower: This is massive! It extends far lower than normal. The Magma Boiler and Factory are even spiritual extensions, providing geothermal power and gears, respectively. It's like one giant industrial clockwork mechanism that extends up the side of the castle. Oh, don't mind the steam, it'll just knock you to the floor, is all! I'd even go so far to say it's FRUSTRATINGLY DIFFICULT! Kehehe! If I had a heart, I think it would be touched. I'm quite happy.

Hell.
Yes.


So... what's next?

>>235278
Start singing a romantic Italian song to sooth the maiden's sadness, Death. Spice it up with a bit of despair.

>>235314
Include the use of castanets and get a skeleton to accompany you on the bouzouki, even though neither of those is italian.
Chaos commands it.

Hmmm. Let's get that Entrance Hall filled with some useless clockwork bits. Our castle this time around is really steampunk, so we'd best take advantage of it. The pieces will get all rusted and broken as they get closer to the Broken Armory, but that's okay. It's purely for flavor.

Yessssssss.

Shoot, what are the bosses!?

>>235421
Well, one of em's obviously Death.

... uh. If Death gets killed by an adventurer, he can come back again, right?

Right? ;_;

>>235417
Throw in some tapestries and paintings, too. The tapestries should become more and more ruined and decayed the closer they get to the Broken Armory, but the paintings should be in perfectly fine shape the entire way.
However, the people depicted in them should be more and more decayed to match the surroundings.

>>235464
Well, hm.

Let's break it down by area:


Aquariatic Aqueduct: Some sort of fish? A giant merman would be a bit... meh. Oooh, maybe a ripoff of Morpha!

Obsidian Catacombs: This seems where we should put Legion!

Magma Boiler: An Iron Golem! Good luck hurting that!


Forest: Giant, evil, moving tree. Like the Whomping Willow, but WORSE.

Courtyard: Doesn't really need a boss.

Entrance Hall: Giant Skeleton is generally the par for course here.

Broken Armoury: You know those Master Sword enemies? The ones that pop up and surround themselves with weapons and armor? Have a creature that makes a body out of swords and armor, with a couple of forms. A nice Wakeup Call Boss!


Pit of Despair: You mentioned a trash chute, so animate all the garbage at the bottom at once. BAM! instant horrific boss.

Smelting Factory: Molten Magma blob thing. I dunno.


Shattered Library: How about the ghost of a past librarian?

Gallery of Madness: That movie projector + a nasty ghost = an awesome and cool boss that takes attacks and forms from classic films.

Alchemic Laboratory: Max Slimer makes his triumphant return!


Hanging Gardens of the Endless Night: A big, angry, armoured ape that swings around the arena.

Festhall of Rising Spirits: A great, shambling zombie made up of various roasts and whatnot. Starts the battle lain out on the table, then rises to attack!

Sound good, guys?

>>235472
>Shattered Library: How about the ghost of a past librarian?

This this this this this.

He probably hates us so much. :D

>>235472
I agreed with almost Everything you suggest Trip! Only a few things I'd suggest.
Magma Boiler: An Iron Golem! Good luck hurting that! >Mmmmm..... maybe some sort of Final Guard variant, or a fire spirit..... maybe a fire golem?

Forest: Giant, evil, moving tree. Like the Whomping Willow, but WORSE. >Remember, we don't have direct control over the forest.... and unless we use magic, a giant tree would take.... a bit to grow.... what about a Giant Cyclops Skeleton? Keep things cheap enough for things else where, but effective enough to fend off the rabble?

Entrance Hall: Giant Skeleton is generally the par for course here. >No way, it's Slogra and Gaibon time :3

Smelting Factory: Molten Magma blob thing. I dunno. >Balrog and his eye laser!!!!

Gallery of Madness: That movie projector + a nasty ghost = an awesome and cool boss that takes attacks and forms from classic films. > No way, we need some scary holy shit it's coming from the goddamned walls monster here.

Alchemic Laboratory: Max Slimer makes his triumphant return! >No :P It's seriously time for some doctor Jeckle action here.

Festhall of Rising Spirits: A great, shambling zombie made up of various roasts and whatnot. Starts the battle lain out on the table, then rises to attack! >Hey, let's break out Beelzebub and his army of flies here!

>Shattered Library:
Funny, you usually get all the non-euclidean geometry when you have too many INTACT books. Staff it with primates; they certainly can't make it any worse.

>>235421
We've got the resources for steampunk, let's use it.
Some kind of absurdly huge golem or animated suit of armor in the courtyard, to scare adventurers off. Plus, you can have it go over the wall if you need heavy hitting outside.
Various control systems and etc. for the Smelting Factory and a few sub-bosses in the clock tower.
I'm inclined to have some kind of jumping-between objects boss, but not sure whether it should be in the Gallery or the Library.
Separately, suggesting a fire-vulnerable massive draconic creature for the library, for the 'Bookwyrm' pun.
Some kind of evil Bacchus or ghostly guest of honor for the Festhall, tossing around Ghost Dancers and flaming gouts of wine.
Build an independent misery-causing unit, the Wild Hunt, to run around in the woods and, well, hunt things.
I'm thinking Legion for the Catacombs, possibly with extra hazards of magma and water shooting in from the sides.
As for the Alchemical Laboratory, scatter little imps throughout the castle and have them bring the collected blood/essence/whatever back to the lab for making into clones.
Tree in the Gardens is too obvious. I suggest a Van Pelt instead, randomly encounterable in the whole place and looking for the Most Dangerous Game to play.
Oh, and a krakrn for the aqueduct.

>>235278
Boss suggestions:
Forest - It's the first area. Giant Bat. I'm sure it would easy enough to get one out there.
Courtyard - Keep it empty, only with those constantly respawning Zombies and Ghosts. And then right in front of the door, stick something giant. Nameless's Golem suggestion is okay, but how about a bigger than usual Cerberus, starring in his traditional role as gatekeeper to hell?
Entrance Hall - The first real part of the castle. Slogra and Gaibon are worked nicely when Alucard came after you, go with them again.
Aqueduct - Kraken is good. Once again, go massive. See if we can an entire empty lake in there for him to swim around. Swimming in a wide area with a massive beast just out of your perception is one of the most primal fears. The other option, if you want something more familiar, is Scylla.
Catacombs: Looks like Legion is our choice here. I think he would have fit better in the pit, but I can't think of anything else here.
Boiler: How about The Creature? Possibly a more steampunk variation on him, like Goliath from the time Barlowe resurrected Dracula.
Factory: Retardanon's suggestion of Balore fits, though his error in naming gives me an idea of a certain lunchbox and witch we could look into...
Laboratory: Following on the clone idea, Doppelganger. Some kind of slime, like Max Slimer or Keremet fits thematically, too. On the idea of slime, there's Nightmare, who hasn't worked with us, but he's done some pretty similar jobs.
Festhall: Let's put someone with some class here. Olrox or Carmilla or a Succubus.
Gardens: There's a lot of options here. Something beast based, like Werewolf, Something bird based, like Malphas, something plant based, like an Alura Une, but I like Nameless's idea again, of a hunter wandering around the place. There's that Headhunter we're eventually going to hire when people start fighting over who Dracula's replacement is going to be.
Library: Once again, Nameless comes up with great ideas. Bookwyrm is perfect. Though I did like Blackmore, and he could fit in here.
Gallery: Paranoia, that guy who jumped through mirrors, once again from the future. Give him the ability to hop through paintings, too, and pull out stuff from them. Or just go all the way and see if you can rip off Brauner, that jerk who tried to steal our Castle that one time. Alternately, play up the stillness vs animation and get Zephyr, the time stop guy who throws knives.
Armory: Ruler Sword, as has been said. Just give it more and more weapons. Alternately, some kind of Weapon Master turned to 11, like that Gilgamesh guy with the eight swords or something.
Pit: Honestly, I'm not sure what fits here. Legion would be my first choice, but he's used up. So I'm just going to list off a few random bosses, or we could go with an idea from before that didn't get used. Abaddon, the Locust Conductor, Gergoth, the Decaying Behemoth, Medusa, Queen of Snakes, Dullahan, the Headless Knight, Giant Skeleton, the... Giant Skeleton, Akmodan II, King of Mummies, or Jiang Shi, the Eastern Vampire. Out of the previous suggestions, Legion, Balore, Doppelganger, or the other Vampires would make decent choices.
Clock Tower: Death, of course.

She's still crying? Isn't it at least a half-hour flight from that village to your castle?

Jesus. Get the girl a teddy bear or something, I dunno. Something that'll make her happy and make her shut the hell up for a while.

>>235826
Invite her to a fancy dinner. And have Death invite all the bosses to dinner with you so you can meet them!

>>235840
Hahahahah yes this would be so hilarious do it do it

Aquariatic Aqueduct: A sea monster. Something that will keep the Mermen happy.

Obsidian Catacombs: I was thinking of a Living Mummy but it looks like Legion is a fan-favourite.

Magma Boiler: A fire demon of some sort.

Forest: Dullahan the Headless Knight shall be dispatched into the forest to dispatch intruders.

Courtyard: Cerberus shall guard our gate.

Entrance Hall: A heavily-armed Minotaur. Because it's more interesting than a giant skeleton.

Broken Armoury: One of those poltergeist swords that can make use of all the weapons lying around.

Pit of Despair: Something that flies so it can get around the area and not be worried by falling. Try an animated gargoyle.

Smelting Factory: A big mechanical golem. Let's make use of our new resources.

Shattered Library: "Bookwyrm" is too brilliant for me to argue against.

Gallery of Madness: A portrait seems like a good way to bring in the Doppelganger. The intruder wonders why there's a painting of him
here and suddenly, BAM!

Alchemic Laboratory: Frankenstein's Monster. And if we don't have one available the first job of the Laboratory should be to make one!

Hanging Gardens of the Endless Night: Medusa will see to the decoration of the garden with petrified intruders.

Festhall of Rising Spirits: Carmilla can manage this.

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/29(Wed)20:31 No. 236165 ID: 1ef7bb
File 128581747070.png - (111.01KB , 666x444 , 015.png )

>>235311
> So... what's next?
I haven't a clue.

I don't micromanage every detail. That would be insanity. The castle does most of the work. I can, but it gets so mundane. That's the whole POINT of it being bound to Primal Chaos. Demons spawn. Undead rise. Darkness calls. And I sit here.

You're all so proactive. It's almost cute. But mostly it's just tiring.

Still, your enthusiasm is... admirable. Your suggestions have been taken under consideration.


>>235840 >>235842
> Invite all the bosses to dinner.
Now you're getting it! Something that can hold my interest. You see, I don't know who's here yet. But I don't want to run around the castle like a courier. So instead, I'll make some servants do it for me. Now I just wait here with this fine maiden whose name I do not care about and see who -

hold on a second

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/29(Wed)20:31 No. 236166 ID: 1ef7bb
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FUCKING USELESS ASS -

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/09/29(Wed)20:31 No. 236168 ID: 1ef7bb
File 128581750320.png - (143.69KB , 666x444 , 017.png )

...Now where was I...

Ah yes. So we'll see who shows up. I'm quite looking forward to it.

As long as we're here, my good companion Death confirmed that Legion has appeared in the catacombs. He won't be joining us, because he is a giant man ball.

Death also felt it worth mentioning that we have a great wealth of scientific rooms, but very little available of magic. Of course there will be effects from that. But -

OH COME ON. I JUST THREW YOU OUT.

>>236168
'Sup Shadow.

>Death confirmed that Legion has appeared in the catacombs. He won't be joining us, because he is a giant man ball.


I laughed.

This just isn't fitting without the music. Cue some mad tunes.

>>236184
We need a haunted organ, along with a pair of possessed white gloves that acts as our butler.

>>236168
When you're done with dinner, practice throwing glasses of wine at things.
There's certainly enough wine, and we might get lucky and have to deal with The Kid.

>>236168
Get a band to play some fitting mood music and engage the fair maiden in some conversation, where you can get the chance to show off your stunning social skills and vast array of knowledge.

And say hi to the new arrival.

Lab, I suggest Frankenstein's monster and Igor.

Movie place, twin mummies.

What can I say?
I love the classic stuff.

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/10/04(Mon)22:47 No. 238634 ID: 1ef7bb
Audio New_Classic_~_Vampire_Killer_~_Wicked_Child.mp3 - (5.80MB , New Classic ~ Vampire Killer ~ Wicked Child.mp3 )

>>236184
> just isn't fitting without the music.

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/10/04(Mon)22:47 No. 238635 ID: 1ef7bb
File 128625767382.png - (143.81KB , 666x444 , 018.png )

>>236207
> Say hi to the new arrival.

Blackmore: "LORD DRACULA!"
Dracula: "Oh, it's you... ..." ... >>236169 "Shadow."
Blackmore: "It's Blackmore! And so good for us to be here! When I saw the castle rise I rushed over!"
Carmilla: "Ah~♥! And you're even here to meet with us! It's so good to see you again, Master Dracula~!"
Olrox: "..."
Dracula: "... Are you the only ones?"

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/10/04(Mon)22:48 No. 238636 ID: 1ef7bb
File 128625768612.png - (142.46KB , 666x444 , 019.png )

Blackmore: "Aren... aren't we enough?"
Dracula: "No."
Olrox: "... ahem... Lord Dracula will be happy to note I took the liberty of cataloging the most powerful denizens of the castle on my way to meet him, which I will be pleased to share."

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/10/04(Mon)22:48 No. 238637 ID: 1ef7bb
File 128625772532.png - (167.00KB , 666x666 , POWER_CHART.png )

Dracula: "Oh, well this isn't so bad."
Olrox: "I am pleased that the Lord finds it adequete. Our 'team' as current is as follows:

Dracula: Of course, none can match the great Lord Dracula. His power is greater than all others. The castle and much of its power under his control. Linked to the powers of Chaos and Darkness Incarnate. And various other words of sycophantcy. Of course, because of that link, if anything were to happen to Lord Dracula, the castle itself would fall.

Death: Death, God of Death, with power over death. Bound to Lord Dracula by a dark pact as well as friendship, he is one of the more powerful, skilled, and knowledgable of the near divine. As a physical personification of abstract force, he cannot permenantly die, but his destruction would banish him from the mortal plane for some time.
Slogra & Gaibon: Servants of Death. I only felt it worth mentioning them due to their use as his personal retainers, as they are weak and considerably moronic, and I would not recommend using them as anything beyond a speed bump.

Carmilla: Countess of Blood and a vampire of some power. Madame Carmilla is a bit idealistic, but intensely devoted.
Blackmore: One who steals the souls of others to gain power and sustain himself. Sir Blackmore is rarely serious, but holds power in his ability to command shadows.
Orlox: A vampire myself, although I am not as powerful as my peers, I would like to think I make up for it with intelligence. Incidently, I will be making use of the Alchemical Laboratory during my presence here, unless His Lordship wishes other tasks from me.

Legion: Physical incarnation of the relinquishment of identity, and an incredibly powerful demon. Sadly, Legion is almost barely sentient, a strange hivemind of sloth and conformity. It is difficult to communicate with him. Although he is, theoretically, incredibly powerful, we have never had the fortune of seeing Legion reveal his true strength. He is currently slumming around the Catacombs.
Aguni: Physical incarnation of fire. Aguni is mostly feral, and impossible to deal with. While he is incredibly powerful, it is not so much that one asks his aid so much as someone turns him loose. Of course, he is not as strong as Lord Dracula, but it is akin to having a feral dog on a leesh. He was splashing about the Boiler last I checked.


... of course, His Lordship is also in command of an endless number of minions, including lesser demons, nocturnal animals, undead of all kinds, plants, servants, automations and elementals. In fact, it would take far too much time to list them all, and the Lord can simply assume we have most of the creatures he might request available relevant to their areas... although not always in large numbers.

In fact, there are only two noticable gaps in our army:
The castle has spawned with a high preference towards technology, in addition to a noticable destruction of books. As such, we have a noticable lack of mages, witches, cultists, and sorcerers, as well as anyone else of a thaumatulogical bent.
In addition, as the castle did not spawn with any sort of church or unholy site, we have no blasphemous, fallen angels or priests of any kind.
The Boiler and Inner Sanctum have attracted a small number of demons, however, which I'm sure his Lordship will enjoy.

Finally, if the 'team' listed here is not enough to impress the Master Dracula... heheh... he will be happy to be reminded that he can bless any creature with a small portion of his own power, thus elevating them to... ahem... 'boss status'."

... i wonder what would happen if we got into legion. pure chaos mixed with the essence of conformity.

>>238637
Let's bless us up a Gods-Damned Kraken!

>>238637
Find Persephone and make her a boss. Same with Lilith.

WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!
GOLD MEDUSA HEAD BOSS!

>>238637
Does Dracula actually lose strength when so blessing a creature? If not, what exactly is the limit to blessing things, aside from Dracula's boredom?


Beyond that, I'm not sure exactly what you want from us here. We could go in-depth and start mucking around in any given section, or start coming up with new ideas for customizing or utilizing the castle that we have thus far, but given that it's set itself up already I don't know how important that actually is. What task lies before us?

Shame that we don't have any fallen angels or the like, but I have no doubt that our clockwork hell will prove useful.

Welcome your guests and invite them to dine with this young... maiden, you've invited.

Find out what's been going on in your absence from Death and Orlox so we may begin making plans for our reign of darkness.

>>238648
Giant clockwork bronze Medusa.

>>238675
It shoots smaller medusa heads and lasers of petrification! And then rams them for double damage!

AHAHAHAHAH

First of all, since there's more tech, then we can arm the skeletons much better. Gunner skeletons, weilding small pistols. Cannon skeleton teams. Clockwork skeletons (they take a lickin' and keep on tickin') and so on. MOAR GOLEMS. Golems with gatling guns! Golems with LASERS.

BLESS ONE AND GET A MORDRE BOSS.

>>238637
Well then, tell them to sit down an enjoy a nice meal (make sure they understand that our guest is not part of that meal) while you talk over some stuff. Oh, and make sure your guest feels at home, poor thing looks like she's ready to crack again. Pour her some wine and be a gracious host.

>>238721
>MORDRE BOSS

...That would be awesome...

We have a SCIENCE CASTLE so let's MAKE SCIENCE.

Mass-produce GOLEMS and FRANKENSTEIN MONSTERS.

We have a SCIENCE CASTLE so let's make a literal SCIENCE CASTLE! Transform it into a MOBILE FORTRESS/GIANT ROBOT! It combines the best of staying your castle and conquering the countryside!

>>238721
I like the way this man thinks.

SOMETHING IMPORTANT HAS BEEN OVERLOOKED

Chaos demands to know if Master Dracula's maids are the ones who can do backflips and throw knives. Because those are cool. And by cool I mean totally sweet.

>>240278
Indeed! I vote blessing one of the maids. :3

Suggestion 2010/10/08(Fri)12:54 No. 240312 ID: 19dce0
File 128656765133.jpg - (1.83MB , 1300x1818 , broken time.jpg )

>>240280
>Blessing a knife throwing ninja maid
Are we going for this, bychance?

>>240312
Meh, ninja-maids are overrated, I'd rather have a blessed golem instead.

>>240314
Who said we couldn't have both? I would go for a ninja-maid myself though.

>>240314
Why not a series of golems? We can use them as midbosses! Fire, Earth, Stone, Clay, and Iron golems, forged of the earth and set to wander the castle as they wish?

Carmilla seems to be a fine lady. Maybe she can dress up that waif you picked up in town. At the moment her appearance doesn't match your own Lordly grace.

Tell Orlox that you would like him to create some kind of potion that gives whoever drinks it a lot of power at a TERRIBLE price! Perhaps you can trick someone into drinking it and thus turn them to darkness.

>>240346
How about making any ceilings that can support them have reinforced bay doors to just DROP golems on the unsuspecting? That way, any time a particularly annoying adventurer comes, you can just convert any given area to golem area while effectively subjecting it to artillery bombardment.

>>240660
Like the Bear Trap, only with Golems.

I like it.

>>240660
And we can time them so that they literally drop ON the attacker.

Man. We are making the best/worst castlevania romhack.

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/10/14(Thu)03:42 No. 243403 ID: 1ef7bb
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>>238650
> I'm not sure exactly what you want from us here.
Heh... You must be new. Well, what else do you do with an army of darkness? I've got a pretty simple request: I want to rule the world. To tear the earth from the heavens. To cast it into never ending darkness. To live eternally in a world of my own creation!

But I've been doing this long enough that the details become tedious. I detest tedious. So I've learned to delegate. The castle spawns an army, and there's always someone willing to take care of the details. Like Carmilla, or Blackmore, pr Olrox... or you.
So if you want to know specifically what the plan is, I've got news for you: there isn't one. We're just going to have to make this up as we go along. Hopefully it will be entertaining.


> Does Dracula actually lose strength when so blessing a creature?
Yes. One of my greatest powers, which we'll call the Power of Dominus, allows me to steal the souls of other creatures. This grants me power. But it also works in reverse. I can grant some of my own power to something else, 'blessing' it.

The amount of power given works on a scale system -- the stronger you are, the more power it takes to make a difference. If you're weak, it doesn't take much of a 'jump' to make you stronger.

FOR INSTANCE:
>>240278 >>240280
>>240312 >>240317

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/10/14(Thu)03:43 No. 243404 ID: 1ef7bb
File 12870529946.png - (109.84KB , 666x444 , 021.png )

I've given this maid a portion of my strength. Because she's almost worthless compared to me, we can see a big improvement for a relatively small expenditure. She's much stronger now, and I'm just a little weaker.

Hypothetically, I could keep throwing power into something until there's nothing left of me, but I'd like to think I'm not that stupid.

Myself, I'm essentially the self-made incarnation of Chaos and Darkness combined, so it's hard to find anything strong enough to increase my power. I'm just that incredible.
I can absorb humans, but they're so pitiful compared to me that it would take a few hundred of them for any negligable return. Minions are the same effect; while they're stronger than the average peasant, they're also spawned by chaos and darkness itself, so it's a bit like I'm chewing off bits of my own toenails.

By far the best way to gain power myself is to absorb something worthy of my power, which of course are in short supply.
I'm also fed power by Chaos, which means I'll become stronger naturally over time. The amount becomes less the more I travel, because the link is actually connected to Castlevania, and my Throne Room specifically. It's not a lot, but it adds up.

Conveniently, there's usually some so called hero trying to find me, and the first place they try is the usually the Throne Room. Like a food delivery service.


What else...

Minions are weak. Stronger than peasants, but still cannon fodder, not even important enough to list. But I have a lot of them. Used properly, they can be useful.

Now all these suggestions you've given me are fabulous, really, but the castle only spawns minions of negligable power, and boss classes take either time to build or a 'Blessing' from my own power.
I do like that 'load the skeletons up with tech' idea though. That's an easy augment. Very simplified. That one's an idea man...chaos...thing.

Which brings the final point, that power isn't everything. I said those numbers were a measure of raw power, but that's all it is. You could, for instance, have all the power in the world, and still be a complete dumbass. The whole system is just trying to categorize an abstract concept, anyway. It's going to be vague at some point. But as a rough estimate it works.

... Elemental Golems sound fun. I'll have to look into that.

Dracula!!zCiuXQBmHU 2010/10/14(Thu)03:43 No. 243405 ID: 1ef7bb
File 128705301260.png - (103.39KB , 666x444 , 022.png )

So that should be everything. I hope I don't have to explain anything else to you, because it's very tedious. And I detest tedious.

That was really long and boring, so here's a recap so it hammers through:

blahblah rule the world blahblah decide how
blahblah minions are weak, bosses are strong blahblah minor power limitations blah strategy blah

blahblah try not to make it too complicated blahblah short attention span blah

Or, hell, I could just go out and smash things myself. But if I should fall, so does Castlevania. That is, essentially, Game Over. So, even though I am the most badass freaking Lord of Darkness, try not to do something stupid, alright? Alright.


Death: "Master Dracula?"
Dracula: "BAH! WHAT? I'm talking to the voices in my head!"
Death: "I just thought you'd wish to know, a very large mob of peasants has arrived on our doorstep. I could just release the hounds, but you seemed so on edge today, I thought it might amuse you to decide what to do yourself."


Ah. Perfect. This will be our practice run. Very easy. I don't feel like moving right now, so why don't you pick someone to handle this for me. After that, go ahead and give any general orders you'd like the rest of these nimrods to handle. Remember complicated stuff takes time. Or a huge blast of power. Huge blasts of power circumvent most things.

So relay some plans to work on over the night, then go ahead and

> CHOOSE A CHARACTER

>>243405
Lets unleash the maid and see what she can do. Should be entertaining enough. Remember to have some other maids clean up the resulting mess. Grumpy boss minions are not effective boss minions.

Lets see, stuff to work on. Win the heart of the young maiden, get her to fall in love with you and then turn her into a vampire. That should be entertaining.

Then I guess start construction of a bigass magical golem of asskicking, don't devote every workshop or so to it though, it's ok if it takes some time to build it. Get on the mechanical improvements to the skeletons. Send out airborne minions to scout out the local area and map it out accuretly, then they widen their pattern until we have a good idea of what we can expect.

Once we got maps of the local areas we can start sending out airborne minions to terrorise places. Oh, and get the labs on working up some kickass explosive munitions that can be airdropped onto small peasant hamlets and stuff.

And lets send out Blackmore to look for dark wizards and witches and shit. Magic can make so many fun things.

We didn't just empower a maid to have her sit back and serve tea.

...Actually, we may have. Okay, send out Carmilla. They look pretty weak on aerial attacks.

>>243405
Dracula: Bless a Gold Medusa Head. Those things are so annoying that it would make a perfect boss.

Carmilla: Give her a completely awesome makeover. We want her to look amazing when her boyfriend shows up to rescue her.
We're romantics so we want things to work out for them, but we're also beings of chaos so we want to do things that are beyond comprehension. We'll combine these two goals somehow; don't worry, you'll love it. ... Probably!

Blackmore: Accompany Yoiza in meeting the mob. Disguise yourself as an old man, and claim that you have an annoying dark lord infestation.
Offer them tea.

Choose: YOIZA

Yes, let's send in our new recruit. Something weak like a mob of peasants is a fine test of her ability. GO YOIZA.

Nah, lets send Death out there, he's a pretty funny and effective guy.

>>243423

Your argument almost swayed me. But Death is overkill.
Hilarious overkill.

...Oh God...

Do it.

Wait, no! This is a practice run. Crushing them in an instant teaches us nothing. Yoiza.

Send Yoiza to deal with the mob, have Blackmore supervise her just in case.

Yoiza, with Blackmore watching in UTTER AMUSEMENT.

>>243405
Sleep with Carmilla while we are away.
GO YOIZA!

Blackmore & Yoiza: Yeah Blackmore's not doing anything at the moment apart from wearing down your carpets. Tell him to go train your new head maid on how to deal with guests. The story should go: "An angry mob went to the castle, none ever returned".

Have them lure the mob into the castle and then chase the mob around until they're dead from the many inherent dangers. Should be amusing to watch!

Olrox: You're bored so tell him to work on some secret project as a surprise for you later. He's surely smart enough to come up with something suitably impressive.

Chosen character: CARMILLA!

Having the maid walk up to the mob and ask them if there's anything they need will be patently hilarious, ass kicking follows soon after.

Y-Yoiza! Th- the master has shown favor to you!

Quick! Volunteer to take care of these peasants! They want to harm the master! Maybe you can get even more into his graces with this!

N-now's your chance! You can do it, Yoiza!

Yoiza!zCiuXQBmHU 2011/06/14(Tue)22:41 No. 313386 ID: 7bf33f
File 130811649889.png - (123.71KB , 666x444 , 023.png )

Oh, Voices of Chaos. It has fallen upon me to remove the peasants that now plague our courtyard.
Sir Blackmore has also been instructed to go out into the world and seek those who use magic, as the castle is not presently capable of producing magic on its own. As this means we must both pass through the castle gates, he has chosen to accompany me.
Much to my chagrin.

Blackmore: "Ah! Such bravery! To stand fast against the slings and arrows. To leap forward to prove yourself, so soon after favor has been granted! You certainly are ambitious, madame."
Yoiza: "It certainly is my honor to serve Master Dracula in any capacity."
Blackmore: "Well, you needn't worry. I'll be right behind you the whole time."
Yoiza: "That won't be --"
Blackmore: "So, in the event that you should die, I'll be able to pick up right where you left off to finish the job and report to Lord Dracula of my victory. And your regretful failure, of course. As a personal favor to you, I'll even keep your shadow safe and warm for you following your leave."
Yoiza: "... you are truly too kind, Sir Blackmore."
Blackmore: "I do try. By the by, as another personal favor to you, I'll impart some advice: When I mentioned slings and arrows earlier, I neglected to mention something."

Yoiza!zCiuXQBmHU 2011/06/14(Tue)22:41 No. 313387 ID: 7bf33f
File 130811651176.png - (128.53KB , 666x444 , 024.png )

Blackmore: "In this day and age, they have something called 'bullets', too."

...?

Oh dear. It's such a mess out here. There's trash all across the lawn. I suppose it's just as well that I was chosen. It will need to be cleaned quite thoroughly.
Well, as requested, I shall first attempt to speak to these peasants politely, though they certainly don't deserve it. Still, if that is yours and Master Dracula's will, I shall prove my elegance.

Yoiza: "Greetings, and welcome to our most humble home. Master Dracula gives you his welcome. How may I help you on this most lovely evening?"

The crowd seems taken aback, unsure how to respond. Truly they underestimate how noble we truly are. They, however, rally quickly.

Leader: "Right! We know what this is about! Your master's gone an rose from the dead and's decided he can just go around burning villages and sproutin monsters wherever he please. Well we won't stand for it! We're here to kill the beast and burn is castle!"
Crowd: "KILL THE BEAST!!"

How troublesome. Well, you're the ones who asked for politeness.
They have not attacked yet, no doubt because of my earlier civility. Still, they appear to be your average unruly unwashed peasant mob. Torches. Pitchforks. The occasional metal tube.
How shall I proceed?

Those metal tubes are like crossbows that fire small projectiles that go VERY VERY FAST. Pretty dangerous. Take out the ones using those first.

Oh, and offer them tea. To the face.

>>313387
Kill the men with torches first. If they have no light, the advantage quickly becomes ours.

metal tube holders are high priority targets. they pack the most punch and are the hardest to dodge. use a thrown weapon if you see them taking aim at you to throw them off and then rush em. quick finger strike to the neck should take care of any normal humans. if that doesn't kill them then it should at least stun them, giving you a chance to steal his gun and use it on whoever is nearby.

Let the fools in and let whatever in the castle kill them. Their hubris is sufficient enough to end them on their own. Simply ask if you and Blackmore may pass on simple business and they may challenge the castle.

Let's face it, their confidence in their ability to kill Dracula is so adorable when only a single hero has a chance in hell, not a simple mob of peasants. OH my gosh their so fucking cute.

>>313387
Keep polite-ing them. Ask if they would like any refreshment, advice, or guidance on their quest to kill Master Dracula, or if you can otherwise be of assistance in any fashion.

Mention quietly to Blackmore that you would be much obliged if he would please determine the precise function of the pipes in the aqueduct with as much haste as possible.

Subsequently, lead the mob into the castle, as they request. Guide them carefully past the hazards in the courtyard and entrance hall, then down into the aqueduct, being ever so polite and assuring them that you will guide them to Master Dracula directly, since they are so eager to see him.

When they are well within the aqueduct, signal Blackmore to shift the water's flow and drown them all.

>>313388 >>313389 >>313391
Stop that, you foolish people. Yoiza is a maid; play to her strengths! Full frontal assault will only result in her getting unnecessarily injured or killed.

>>313404
blackmore has no reason to help her, at all. for all we know we could activate the "give all living humans super strength" pipe or something. also this is a test of her combat capability not her guile and cunning.

>>313387
Get your vacuum out and set it on automatic. Have it zoom around doing vaccuum things while you do flippies. Knives everywhere, but your priority is DODGING. Not being dead is more important than dead things.

If you're hurt too much, retreat and start setting up traps.

>>313387
Tell them that they get one last chance to just go home. Otherwise you will kill the lot of them and Master will raise them as undead abominations.

Throw knives at the dudes with metal tubes first if it comes to a fight.

>>313387
"Oh, I see. You are an honor guard for a Belmont, then? Or perhaps a powerful mage?
No? Then would you be so kind as to call for one after you leave?"

If they attack then use your vacuum to steal their weapons. If that doesn't work or they persist, then suck out their souls for a snack and throw knives at them.

Be efficient. Invite them in and when they're all bunched up at the door and unsure of what to do you strike! Use them as shields against each other in the cramped conditions and sweep them right out. Then clean the entrance thoroughly.

Taking them on in the open is just going to be too length and dangerous.

Saucer shurikens?

Saucer shurikens.

>>313543
...!!!
This!

"I'm afraid he's already taken leave of us. You can wait for him to return if you wish... Or would you like to make an appointment?"

>>313461
I like this plan very much, its awesome and you should do it... mainly because the fish need feeding.

She isn't "just a maid"... she is a ninja empowered maid. She isn't a pushover... but it is kinda silly to fight a bunch of gunmen in the open.

There's an angry mob attempting to "kill the beast and burn is castle". You may be contractually required to snark about not knowing there was a production of Beauty and the Beast in the area. (Sidenote, that girl we kidnapped's name is Belle now.) Then stick some knives in them.