Choose your Race Suggestion 2010/08/30(Mon)13:50 No. 223629 ID: 4f6e37
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…They were Delter, strong and armored. Their eyes glowed red, their voice chattered, their arms and legs ended in rickety claws. They were at home near the buzz and warmth of the engines, the billowing exhaust of the gun ports, the cramped and gleaming armories that promised jagged heat death to their enemies. The Delter are cynical, wary creatures, with a natural bent toward violence and utilitarianism that propels them to the infantry.

…They were Qal, tall and enduring. They were a collective, a hive mind, a bundle of adaptability and possibility. Their unique biology made them tenacious, their race’s history as the core of the Alliance made them proud, and their training made them warriors. The Qal are bright in color and in alacrity, with a tendency toward sergeancy and ambition.

…They were Shirm, wise and noble. They were not a natural fighter, more accustomed to the laurels of command and the bridge of a starship than life in the rank and file. They pondered their actions, they went through all things with a dignified and measured step. They thought through all they did, and though capable of moments of sudden hot-blooded adrenaline, trusted more in the mind than the body. The Shirm are the founders and keepers of the Alliance, used to diplomacy and strategy more than the hum and crack of weaponry. Many possess a gift for working with machinery and engineering, but they are not customarily men and women of action.

…They were Human, a member of the the youngest race in the Alliance by far, a refugee from a dead planet ruled by a mechanized tyrant. They had escaped, as had their comrades, into the promising darkness of Space and the arms of the Alliance. They walked with an air of determination, of potential energy like a coiled spring or a chambered bullet. Humans are more wiry than the bulky Qal, softer-skinned and weaker than the militant Delter. Their race has surprisingly few warriors compared to the others that make up the Alliance, with a large number focused on civilian life. But those that do turn to the army bring with them a natural quickness in thought and movement, and an accuracy that is unparalleled throughout the Alliance.

Shirm. An action Shirm.

>>223629
Delter.

>>223631
YES.

Shirm

delter.

>>223629
Shirrrrrrrrrm.

Delter

Eat flaming death!

Human goddamit.
Humanity fuck yeah!

Delter!

Qal.

Qal

Hardboiled Shirm General.

"Enlighten this, punk."

Let's get some delter up in this motherfucker.

>>223629
Qal.

Shirm

human

Suggestion 2010/08/30(Mon)15:02 No. 223668 ID: 4f6e37
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They were Shirm. But were they male or female?

Sexual dimorphism in Shirm is limited to outward observers. Male shirm have a slightly smaller Main Eye than their female counterparts, and three eyespots rather than two. They also have larger, heavier forelegs with more jagged chitin, a genetic relic of the age when the Shirm were wild and the males fought for leadership of the herds. Females have more defined, sharper claws on the bottom of each leg, once used for digging nests and defending young. There are also subtle secondary sexual characteristics in leg shape and relative skull length/height, with males tending to be slightly heavier than females.

>>223668
Male

>>223668
We're the manliest damn Shirm that there ever was.

I hope we can chew cigars with whatever mouthparts we have.

Female

>>223668
Be the manliest Shirm.

>>223668
MALE.

FEMALE

OKAY BROM JUST FOR YOU I WILL VOTE GIRL

female.

Dude

Choose Name and Pigmentation Suggestion 2010/08/30(Mon)16:12 No. 223699 ID: 4f6e37
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His name, technically, was ๒ยאק๏ค, but that's a mouthful to anyone without facial tentacles. Like most everyone else in the Alliance he had a name he called himself that everyone could speak, something like David or Godwin or John. That and the color of his skin were how most non-shirm told him apart from his fellows.

Light Blue, name of Halaris, or Hal.

>>223699
Dark Blue, James.

>>223699
Neon pink with day-glo green spots.

>>223699
His name is Goliath and he's orange.

>>223699
Your pigment will be pink because that is the manliest colour.
Your name will be Boner because that what your real name looks like.

gonna go with dark blue.

Switching color vote to dark blue. Don't need to be pink to be fabulous~

dark blue with strips of blue on hs legs

Folia / Dark Blue

Choose Starting Stats Hal 2010/08/30(Mon)16:49 No. 223714 ID: 4f6e37
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His name was Halaris, or just Hal to his friends.

((The five core stats are: Strength, governing physical prowess, Speed, governing the speed of actions and instinct, Stamina, governing physical toughness, Smarts, governing mental prowess, and Suavity, governing charm and force of personality. As a Shirm Hal already has a +1 bonus to Suavity and Smarts and a -1 penalty to Stamina and Strength. You have two ranks to spend now on any five of the stats.))

>>223714
MAXIMUM SUAVE

Smarts and speed. Alternatively smarts and stamina.

>>223715

i think speed an stamina would be good. long distance running.

>>223714
Yeah "Hal" is a lot more pronouncable than "2-y-q-'-<end-of-paragraph>-d," I'm thinking.

Uh, stamina and... suave?

Stamina and suave. You don't need strength, you have your boyfriend for moving furniture.

>>223714
Suave and speed. We're gonna be smooth.

Hal 2010/08/30(Mon)17:39 No. 223750 ID: 4f6e37
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((One for Suavity, one for Stamina. You now have six ranks to invest in skills. Every skill increase costs the number of ranks that were already in it. So you can increase Hal's Diplomacy skill for 4 or his Running skill for 2, for example.
[Strength:]
BLADES covers Hal's skill in bladed weapons, far and away the most common.
OTHER MELEE covers the other melee weapons besides swords.
UNARMED is Hal's skill with his fists, or rather forelegs.
GRAPPLE is Hal's ability to wrestle, pin, disarm, etc. opponents
[Speed:]
RUNNING is Hal's ability to sprint, the increase of which will make him move further and faster.
ACROBATICS is Hal's ability to climb, stretch, leap, etc.
RIFLES covers the weapon in question, in a variety of different forms.
HANDGUNS covers pistols, submachine guns, and other things Hal can wield. He can dual wield, but it's less effective and he is reduced to a hop if he does so.
[Stamina:]
HIT POINTS covers how much damage Hal can take before death.
SURVIVAL is how well Hal can endure extreme conditions, and how long he can do strenuous activity before tiring.
HEAVY WPNS covers Hal's skill in machine guns, rocket launchers, etc.
SHOTGUNS covers Hal's skill in those weapons.
[Smarts:]
LOGIC is what Hal uses to solve problems requiring the use of math or reasoning.
ENGINEERING covers Hal's knowledge of the technology of the Alliance.
ERUDITION is book learning, or how much Hal knows about the world and what is within it.
INTUITION is Hal's common sense, the little voice in the back of his head that warns of danger or of being watched.
[Suavity:]
CHARM, THREATEN, DIPLOMACY, and BULLSHIT are all fairly self-evident, covering attempts at schmoozing, strong-arming, diplomatic debate, and just plain lying, respectively.))

bullshit
charm
survival
handgun
running

bullshit
unarmed
grapple

unarmed
grapple
handguns
survival

>>223750
Charm, handguns.

Hit Points
Running
Shotguns

>>223756
changing charm and running to unarmed and grapple

>>223750
Handguns, hit points, running.

Hal 2010/08/30(Mon)19:09 No. 223812 ID: 4f6e37
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((Narrowing the choice down and working out 3 basic combat archetypes I think you were going for:
[The Commissar]: Hal keeps his high Suavity skills the same and focuses on buffing his combat abilities to let him take his charisma to the front.

[The Deception]: Hal learns how to fight better unarmed and lie about his motives so he can take his foes by surprise.

[The Agent]: Hal improves his already high charm and takes more training in handguns to become a figurative and literal ladykiller.))

>>223812
Agent all the way.

>>223812
God, I can't say no to Agent.

>>223812
Agent.

Commissar.

Deception, it sounds really fun.

Deception

Look at that smug motherfucker.

Do that.

>>223812
COMMISSAR!

Commissar. What else?

Agent!

The deception. Hmmmyes.

agent

Agent

Commissar. The hat is an imperative.

Agent.
I've got a bad case of Sean Connerea.

>>224519
Yes. And we shall have the biggest hat of them all. Not to mention with the high suavity we would be good with a small squad to command in battle.

Commissar.

commisar

Agent

Hal 2010/09/11(Sat)15:49 No. 229638 ID: 4f6e37
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((Agent Chosen))

I wake up with a noticeable lack of accouterments and a head full of fluffy, floating ache, like someone punched me repeatedly in the face with a gauntlet wrapped in marshmallow.
Good morning, Halaris. What's breakfast for our Strapping Shirm Seducer, then?
Freshly butchered analogy, I think. Add purple prose, to taste.

Where in hell am I?
Why am I asking you when you can't see any better than I can?
I appear to be in a narrow tube filled with Reposing Gel. The Shirm version of a bed, for those of you scratching their bizarre hairy human heads. I don't exactly remember falling asleep, though, and the tube's so narrow I can barely move my arms.

I have no idea how I ended up here or where exactly I am. There appear to be no colored buttons I can press to let me out, which may well be a distinct breach of some expository protocol.

>>229638
Seduce the gel.

Hal 2010/09/11(Sat)16:00 No. 229640 ID: 4f6e37
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"Gel, babygirl," I say, putting on my Game Face, "I have never felt about any semi-viscous sleeping fluid the way I feel about you."

I am greeted by silence. I promise that's not the normal reaction to my Game Face. Perhaps it's because I am addressing slime and this was a poorly thought out plan on our part. I DO notice I can still talk, though. Lovely.

>>229640
So what is your last or at least most vivid memory before ending up in your current situation? Gotta have something to work with here.

Well, let's test our limbs, then. Can you move them?

Well if you sleep in this stuff, you should have some sort of control on the inside to let you get out, right?

Make your egress as per normal.

Hal 2010/09/11(Sat)17:21 No. 229674 ID: 4f6e37
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>>229644
Sort of. They scrape against the glass and I'm not going to be doing jumping jacks in here but I can move around in a general way. The gel slows me down a bit.

>>229643
I vaguely remember... eating? Outside. Eating outside.

I'm beginning to think I was shot in the head. It would explain the ache and the memory loss after respawn and waking up in an unknown location. It's happened to me once or twice before.

>>229646
Of course. There's a release on the inside of that horizontal metal bar thing you press...

It appears inactive on this tube.

>>229674
Punch your way out.

>>229674
Ugh. Push it anyway. If that doesn't work, check for some structural weak points.

>>229674
Could be that you've got yourself captured. See if you can't attract the attention of someone to lead you to the easily-escapable deathtrap.

...this...this isn't the easily-escapable deathtrap itself, is it? It's not sporting to strip you of your gadgets first and not leave a guard to fool.

Headbutt your way out.

Hal 2010/09/11(Sat)17:53 No. 229691 ID: 4f6e37
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I try the button unsuccessfully, then club halfheartedly at the glass. I try headbutting, further reinforcing my nasty headache. The effect is unimpressive.

"Hey," I call out. "Hello. Are there any easily-fooled guards around? I'm ready for the deathtrap."

The door on the other side of the room beeps resignedly to itself, then slides open.

"Just the one," says the hulking figure that the light picks out in silhouette on the other side. It's wearing heavy power armor and has unholstered what looks to be a large firearm. Qal? Human? It's so encased in armor I can't really tell. To my relatively uncoached ear it sounds sort of like a human female or maybe a particularly smooth-voiced male.

>>229691
Either are close enough. Turn on the Game Face.

(Sorry gel. Hal loves and leaves.)

>I'm beginning to think I was shot in the head. It would explain the ache and the memory loss after respawn and waking up in an unknown location. It's happened to me once or twice before.

So, tech resurrection is an aspect of society ehh? Sounds nifty.

Hal 2010/09/11(Sat)18:45 No. 229714 ID: 4f6e37
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>>229693
Nifty indeed.

>>229692
Ugh. Do I have to [Charm] a human? No offense to humanity or Qal, but they're both just so... weird. And squishy. Now perhaps if it were a Delter lass with a good wide head, cute little claws, and delicately curved chitin, we'd be getting xenophilic. I can get around the extra limbs.

Oh well. Desperate times. Game Face applied. "Is that Paladinica Protections you're wearing?" I ask as she(?) walks in. "You make it look good."
She laughs. "How cute. Calamari Casanova." She stops and stands in front of my tube. "I see your file wasn't lying. Now stop with the banging on the walls or you'll dent them or something."

oh great, read our file means that our talk skills are nulled as they already know the facts. ask what she wants and what you need to do to get out of this tube.

>>229717
Knowing about an individual's abilities doesn't necessarily mean you won't get tripped up. In fact it can make things worse if they're prepared for something that never comes.

>>229714
Might not be a bad assumption to conclude that those responsible for your "head wound" decided to stash you in a tube. Any particulars of your work that might give you a clue as to who would want you dead/captured? As for the current situation, see if you can pull a little from your masked guard. I doubt they have much to do with this directly, but they're standing in front of you, so....

Inquire about your current holdings. Tell her/him/it that its not exactly comfortable.

>>229714
"But of course! Merely let me out, and I'll cease forthwith!"

>>229714
"But of course! Merely let me out, and I'll cease forthwith!"

"This tank is really cramping my style... and legs. I would appreciate being able to stretch them."

Hal 2010/09/11(Sat)21:44 No. 229756 ID: 4f6e37
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"Of course," I say, giving the walls another bonk. "Just let me out and I'll cease forthwith."

"In good time," says the guard. "You have to stay in there for a while until the captain's ready for you."

"This isn't exactly the most comfortable tube thing," I say. "It's cramping my style. And legs."

"You're the first shirm who made the cut," says the Guard. "We sort of had to whip this up real quick in the mean time. We're probably going to convert a cabin for you eventually. Oh, and I can't let you out because the captain's weird like that and he thinks you might try to escape. Knowing your history in Spec Ops I can't exactly blame him. For a space squid you've got a kickass dossier, Halaris. I'm Pribicevic, by the way, uh, Anka Pribicevic."

>>229756
"So wait, this isn't some horrific deathtrap? I wasn't shot in the back of the head, dragged here, and prepared for my inevitable disguise?"

"...Damn."

>>229762
>Demise
HURP

>>229756
"In the interest of full disclosure I'd probably end up dramatically waiting for the captain in his own chair. Or destroying the ship; You have a thing for escape craft?"

>>229756
"Well, nice to meat you Anka."
Use the first name, it's important.

Awwww, man. I bet this is just like Alpha Protocol. Maybe a hacker will break you out after she leaves and you got to move around and do things until you've made it through the initiation.

Hal 2010/09/12(Sun)11:18 No. 230011 ID: 4f6e37
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>>229775
"Well, it's nice to meet you, Anka," I say. "In the interest of full disclosure I'd probably end up dramatically waiting for the captain in his own chair. Or destroying the ship. Do you have a thing for escape craft, Anka Pribicevic?"

"Depends on where it's escaping to," says Anka. "I've seen the inside of a few."

"So just to clarify, this isn't some horrific deathtrap? I wasn't shot in the back of the head, dragged here, and prepared for my inevitable demise?" I ask.

"The deathtrap comes later," says Anka. She rests the gun in her hands, casually. "Right now I just stand out here and blow your face off if you have second thoughts about your impromptu conscription and try to get out. Looks like your early retirement didn't work out exactly as you planned, Halaris. You're sort of getting pressganged."

"Into what?" I ask.

"The crew-slash-fanclub-slash-retinue of a very dangerous man," says Anka. She pauses for a moment. "Comlink says he's finished with the other recruits and just about ready to see you. Can I trust you enough to let you out?"

"I don't have a gun. So what could possibly go wrong?"

>>230011
Yeah fine whatever. It's not like we can really do anything without any weapons.

>>230011
She can trust you to sweep her off her feet.

(...damn, we didn't focus on melee. Can't do it literally.)

"I have a hard time believing anyone who's read my file and came this heavily armored can fully trust me. However, I'm not going to cause too much of a fuss for now, I'm just a early retired calamari casanova after all, no? Plus, ill do about anything you say right now for something to deal with this headache... besides tempting your weapon I suppose. I'm a pragmatic Shirm."

>>230011
"Oh, of course not. I'd much rather know what's going on before I start ruining plans, although I may or may not have to eliminate your boss on general principles."

Prepare for meeting Captain John.

Say "You trust me enough to ask."

Hal 2010/09/12(Sun)16:16 No. 230093 ID: 4f6e37
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"You trust me enough to ask," I say. "and I usually wait till I have a gun in my claw, a view free of guns pointed at me, and an idea of what's going on before I start ruining people's days. What harm could it do?"

Anka grins. "That question's gotten me killed more than once on this boat, I tell you," she says, lowering her weapon and walking over to a nearby console. She presses a button and the gel starts draining from the tank. Adieu, ma vieux belle. Mon amour pour toi est éternel.

Now then, what have we here to work with? Halaris' sitrep: weaponless, clothingless, and clueless before an armed and armored guard, about to be led to some malevolent master. Some callous captain. Deleterious demagogue? I have a thesaurus on my uplink, it's golden.

It is also all I have besides my dashing shirmic looks and my bare claws.

Very well. Put on your best 'I-am-the-most-awesome-dude-to-walk-on-three-legs-ever' walk.

Proceed

>>230093
Use your powerful sexual magnetism and smooth moves to sliiide inside her weapon range. Distract with smalltalk.

If it works, drop her on her arse and catch the gun.

naw, stay in range but only snatch gun if the captain is an asshole. for all we know they want you to save a orphanage by taking out a corrupt business owner.

>>230113
Then he can ask nicely rather than sticking us in a tube. We were retired, damnit.

Besides, if we're easily pushed around, clearly we're not up to orphanage-saving task.

>>230093
Demand clothing before we go anywhere.

Hal 2010/09/18(Sat)21:57 No. 231837 ID: 4f6e37
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((Using automated checks at some points in conversation. Clarify the skill requested and what exactly you want Hal to say for a bonus on your skill checks.))

"All right, Anka, m'dear," I say, clambering out of my slime-encrusted tube as charmingly as possible. "Lead the way. I'll try to resist staring at your behind."
"Flattered that you think I make heavy power armor work, but no," says Anka. "You go first. Out the door and follow the blue lights." She gestures to the doorway she walked in from, and I see cool blue lights slide out of the dark walls and pulse in the gloom of the ship. She levels her weapon at me. "March, Halaris."

"Can we stop for some clothes or something?" I ask. "If your captain is pulling me out of my richly deserved retirement, he can spare a jock strap at the very least."
"I didn't know shirm wore clothes."
"Depends on the occasion, and I'd call meeting the new employer an occasion," I bullshit. "I personally appreciate some cloth on my pseudopods, thank you."
"Fine," says Anka. "I guess we can make a pit stop or two before the boss man. You want to hit the bosun or the armory or something up and get a, uh," she looks me up and down. "a hat or something, be my guest."

Meow deviously if she pokes you with her gun leading you the way their, I think for humans its kinda a thing for them. If it's a Qal, ehh, whatever.

>>231837
Getting to the armory would be nice. Use CHARM to flatter her to make her feel that bringing you there won't present a risk. Like, tell her that she'd be most familiar with the armory, being a soldier girl, so she would be able to give you the best advice on clothing options there. Wouldn't want to miss the opportunity of seeing her in her element, yeah?

>>231878
Seems like a good enough idea.

Hal 2010/09/22(Wed)18:28 No. 232923 ID: 4f6e37
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"Going to the armory would be nice," I say, laying on the [charm]. "Who better to guide me through it than a soldier lady?"

"Bringing an inmate with special ops training into an armory seems like not the best decision I could make," says Anka. I am hurt. Crushed, even. Yes. Anka has crushed me.

"I'm hurt, miss Pribicevic."
"Not yet, you aren't."
"Crushed, even. Why would you ever consider yourself in danger from a squid with a peashooter, even if that were my plan? You are a Badass Space Amazon."
"...Fine," she says, "but you make a false move and me and Penis Envy here (she gestures with her gun) will paint the walls with you."
"Meow."
"Shut up," she says. Does she stifle a laugh, or is that just some human cough thing? I couldn't say.

She takes me to a largeish room with the same general makeup as all the other ones on this ship. Gray and blue, with a healthy dash of foreboding. "The big guns are up on the second floor, but that's not where you're going," she says. She gestures over to some shelves nearby. "I think there's some Shirm gear over there. Don't take too long."

It appears someone has placed a crate with what appear to be handguns in what appear to be its insides near the shelf she appears have gestured to. Deus Ex Arma?

pick up a nice gun that in a pinch can be used as a bludgeon.

>>232923
Sure, let's grab a thing.

First things first, check the outfit's compatibility for carrying a concealed firearm, use your [intuition] to check how closely shes watching you, and by using the act of putting on the clothes to disguise your peeping.

If she is looking at you while you change, [Charm] her with something like "You know, its usually so much intrusive peeping when someone watches me take clothing off" as an attempt to get her to essentially back off lightheartedly.

use [Engineering] at a glance to figure out what kind of weapon you might be able to pocket there.

Try to get some gear that would conceal such a firearm. If Anka sees that we have a gun she is not going to be nice to us anymore.

Hal 2010/09/22(Wed)20:56 No. 232980 ID: 4f6e37
File 128521416556.png - (83.56KB , 800x600 , 17.png )

"Okay," I say, making my way toward the Shelf for Shirm. The shirmshelf. "I'll just find a thing to put on." She starts to move in with me, and I look back. "No peeking," I say. "How do I know you won't sneak a look at my kneespines?"
"Weren't you just naked?" says Anka.
"If you get to watch me put stuff on I get to watch you shower later," I say, the very pseudopodal portrait of jesting [charm]. "That's called Fair Trade and Fair Trade, Anka m'dear, is a staple of our Glorious Alliance."
She snorts and stays back away, standing by the entrance. My [logic] is murmuring that she most likely finds my sweet talk more humorously novel than attractive.

I locate a coat and hat. Hiding a weapon in these won't be too difficult, since current shirm style is big on the cloak-and-epaulets to get that Admiralty look and de-emphasize the difference between us and the other Alliance races. I pull it off very well, you will agree.
I use my [intuition] to check and make sure Anka has not followed (for who could resist a glimpse at Halaris' captivating carapace? Could you?), then open the box of arms as quietly as possible. A quick scan with my [engineering] know-how yields two firearms which I gingerly remove and place on the lid for inspection.

One is a laser pistol, standard-issue, the other a human slugthrower. On the one hand, conventional arms are more effective than laserfire, and you can always count on humanity to make the best lead dispensers in the Alliance, but on the other these things are bulkier, louder and showier than the laser pistol, and I'd need to bring ammo, of which there is only one clip. It's a death-dealer, for sure, but not a very subtle one. The laser pistol is sort of rinky-dinky, but much more suited to stealth. Which do I purloin, then?

>>232980
Laaaaaseeeeeeeers.

>>232980
Laser!

Laser. You are not looking to start a personal war just yet. If you need a bigger gun later you can charm or steal one.

Laser sounds the best.

Don't stop with the charm, even if she only thinks it's funny. Amusing her should be disarming, at least. And it did net you a gun and a big hat.

And later you can catch her off guard by turning deadly serious about something.

[logic] the best place to place your gun so it is both hidden, and accessible for use. Stick with the Laser gun, as lack of detection is probably more important.

[bullshit] that it takes a bit of time to get dressed for Shirm (as she seems fairly unknowledgeable about them) and use your [diplomacy]/[bullshit]/[charm] to attempt to get some information out of her, such as "Tell me about this boss, I need to leave the correct impression in my clothes, and there are at least two perfect hats" or "So, what sort of boss do you have that makes sure to hire only the best looking amazons to escort their prisoners, if its a he, he seems like my kinda chap"

>>232980
Absolutely laser. Right now you need the kind of weapon you can unexpectedly spring on someone next to their unarmoured and vital parts.

Eat.
The.
Gun.

Hal 2010/09/23(Thu)20:50 No. 233302 ID: 4f6e37
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((You have learned several new skills upon equipping the laser pistol (Tied to Hal's Handguns skill):
[Cloak Draw]: Hal pulls his weapon from within his cloak with lightning speed born of obsessive practice and viewing of old Human westerns. Lets him get the drop on enemies.
[Delter Diplomacy]: So named for the Delter's lack of social graces. Hal can turn down the setting on the pistol to give nasty burns and painful blisters instead of more severe wounds. Useful in intimidation or interrogation.
[Beam Intensifier]: Does the exact opposite. Hal supercharges his weapon's strength to crave through armor, cover, and flesh, but also nearly overheats it, disabling it for a few seconds.
[Limit Break]: Do not use Limit Break.))

I pocket the laser and return to my dazzling dungeonkeeper. "Okay," I say. "all set."
"You look like an octopoid Nelson," says Anka.
"Who?"
"Never mind."
"So who is this strange captain who sends these pretty lady soldiers down to collect me, anyway?" I ask.
"Alliance Task and Recon Fleet," says Anka. "Sort of like special ops but for Alliance Navy. Like the SEALs back on pre-Vresch Earth, if you've heard of them."
"Vaguely. They bark and do tricks, don't they? Am I going to have to bounce a ball on my nose?"
"Ho ho ho. Anyway, you're going to go meet the Captain, who's a high ranking agent. We've never heard him call himself anything but the Captain. Or a high ranking agent."
"Sounds like a cuddly guy."
"You'll see when we meet him. Mr. C has requested an interview. We'll just head through the security checkpoint right up to the bridge."

Security? Oh. I see. Security. Patdowns? Possible. Search and Seizure. Cavity searches. By people who aren't even hot, maybe. Think, Halaris.

I don't think your odds are good if you try shooting your way out.

Also, if they were going to strip search you, they probably wouldn't have let you get any clothes or equipment in the first place.

Guess you'd better cooperate for now.

Eat.
The.
Gun.

>>233303
This is a point.

Padding down every prisoner already at gunpoint isn't something guards are going to care much about. If they do it they won't expect to find anything, and not only is your weapon small and well hidden but they probably won't be familiar with your body type. And if they do find it, just play it cool, I don't think they'll do worse than confiscate it.

Probably they'll have a scanner, bad news. Or be inquisitive. Our friend has seen you get dressed, but these security types get jittery around big, loose, body-concealing clothing.

Perhaps it'd be best to ditch the pistol for now, painful though it may be; if you need to, perhaps you can nab one off the guards later. Can you [logic]ally find a place where you could lean up against a wall or something, make a show of inspecting some part of the ship - perhaps asking what kind of ship it is, while you do? - while sneaking your pistol out and behind some convenient corner or nook?

Of that fails, perhaps you could just admit you pilfered a gun, like the [charm]ing rogue you are, and play off how she was probably expecting it anyway. After all, she wouldn't think you're an idiot, would she?

>>233302
Think they'd check under your hat? Or maybe they won't pat you down at all.

>>233302
Use Limitu Breaku!!!

>>233302
Okay sounds like you're going to be the first Shrim to be inducted to the Space Seals.

Hal 2010/09/25(Sat)21:27 No. 233984 ID: 4f6e37
File 128547522588.png - (142.27KB , 800x600 , 19.png )

I try to find a [logic]al way to stash the gun somewhere out of reach, but nothing presents itself in time before we hit the checkpoint. The checkpoint with little quotation marks around the word, though, because I've seen more impressive ones at a supermarket. It's just two grunts and a hastily set-up metal detector, looks like.
One of the guards looks up from tinkering with the makeshift security and strides over. It's a delter, and oh my certainly female. It suddenly strikes me that a cavity search might not kill me.

I wonder what her claws look like under those gauntlets.

"This is the newbie, then?" she buzzes, giving me the once-over.
"Yeah," says Anka. "This is him. You were expecting us, yes?"
"Truth," says the Delter.
"He don't look much like ATRF material to me," says the big guy beyond the gate, leaning on the wall. "Shirm are squishy. Whatever." He steps forward. "Just go on through to the captain. The detector's on the fritz."
"Wait," says the delter, folding her arms. "Looks can be deceiving and you can be squishy and still pack heat. What's under the cloak, then, ๒ยאק๏ค?"

>>233984
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. That cloak probably doesn't have any secrets, does it.

[Intuition] if the delter is lying about the detector being on the fritz. This is quite possibly a lie to get you detected and off guard. If she is, were going to need to [logic] a way to avoid detection (something i'm sure you've done a hundred times!)

Its time to put on the [charm]- "You want to see whats under my cloak? well, well, ill be glad to show you anytime you want. However, such pleasures must be off duty I imagine."

shove the pistol down your gullet. puke it up later.

>>233984
"Oh I'm packing heat alright. Are you this direct with all the Shirm you meet, or am I just that dashing?"

CHARM the fuck out of her. Twirl around so that she can see your middle leg, and your two arms (one's holding the gun) are obscured by the sides of it.

I agree, [charm] is how we get out of this. Maybe slip some subtle, unobtrusive remark about how you didn't have it until a moment ago? Like, "if you wanted to see me without the cloak you should have visited me five minutes ago"? That might persuade 'em to let you go in unsearched.

>>233984
>What's under the cloak, then, ๒ยאק๏ค?
Oh, to be fed straight lines like that one all the time...

>>234033
Hah, I like this line. It literally tells them that we're armed while sounding like something they can blow off as a joke.

Whatever we do, don't lie and say we're unarmed. Just make sure that they're the ones who initiate any searches, and act as though your having a gun was of course wholly expected if they do find it. It came with the outfit, after all; don't you think it adds a certain zing? But, importantly, if they do find it and look to be blaming Anka, charmingly intercept and cover for her. You don't want her angry at you when she's the one escorting you around.

>>234044
Also, you know, if we hadn't acquired a weapon by this stage, I'd say the big guy would have a point.

Hal 2010/09/26(Sun)20:12 No. 234395 ID: 4f6e37
File 128555713033.png - (94.93KB , 800x600 , 20.png )

Game Face. GAME FACE.
"You want to see under the cloak?" I say. "Why, I'm [charm]ed. You could have sneaked a peek if you'd been here five minutes ago. Are you this direct with every shirm you meet or am I just that dashing?"
"What?" says the Delter. "No. What? I. Meant was. Are you carrying any weapons?"
"Mark me down as Packing Heat and Potentially Dangerous," I say. "I could show you, if you want. Maybe when you're off duty"
"I. What? Are you hitting on me?" she asks.
"I don't know," I say, the Perfect Periwinkle Picture of innocence. "Should I not be?"
"Uh," says the Delter, her eyes widening and flaring a brighter red.
"Talia, are you blushing?" says the Qal. "He's making you blush, isn't he?"
"Shut the fuck up, corporal," says Talia. She turns back to me. "Just... fine. Yes. I mean yes, you can go through. is what I meant. Forget the um the thing. Scanner. It's broken, and. Yeah."
"Are you sure you don't want to strip search him?" says the Qal
"One more fucking word and you are scrubbing the toilets, corporal. Try me." She glares. "Just...go. You the shirm, not you the corporal."

>>234395
Niiiice.

>>234395
Great Success!

you just earned 50 fists bumps and a pizza.

anyway let's go.

>>234395
Depart with a wink. Let us go visit the captain... and say hello.

Niiiiice.

Looks like you've found a fun one to tease. Good job.

If they ask you why they should let you in or some crap like that, you could totally just put that laser pistol on the desk in illustration of just how awesome you are.

>>234395
God damn, I love this main character.

Tell her to call you Hal.

Keep in mind that if you get busted on carrying a weapon later, you can mention that you told the guards at the checkpoint you were packing heat. They let you through anyway.

Hal 2010/09/27(Mon)20:38 No. 234954 ID: 4f6e37
File 128564512916.png - (222.80KB , 800x600 , 21.png )

I start to head through to the bridge when I look back and see her staring at me.
"Call me Hal, hon," I say, winking as I walk away. "See you around."
She turns hurriedly back around and busies herself at the gate. Have I still got it? I believe I have.
"That was hilarious," says Anka as we reach the door to the bridge. "Poor Talia." She stops and digs around for an ID card. "Make sure you make a good first impression on the Captain. He's a bit... volatile. Please, please don't flirt with him."
"Would I be muscling in on your territory?"
"Hah," mutters Anka, pulling out her card and scanning herself and myself into the bridge. "Not in this life."
The door slides open to the darkened bridge. There's about half a dozen midshipmen gathered around various monitors that are the source of most all of the illumination. Up on the main command hub, a bulking shadow of a Qal surveys his subordinates.

"Lt. Belding, status on the port battery shielding," he says.

"87 percent, sir," says a human sitting at a glowing screen.

"My thing says 88 percent," says the Captain.

"The shields have gone up by 1 percent since we began speaking, sir," says Belding.

"Of course. Wasn't thinking. Very good. Talking back to the CO, 1 demerit, pinko."

"Yes sir."

"No, not really, Belding. Do I really seem like that much of a ballbuster? Or a racist?"

"No sir."

"Stop lying just to appease me, Belding. One demerit."

"Yes sir."

"How are we on DFRGs?" the Captain asks a qal at another station.

"Fully charged and loaded, sir," he responds.

"Good. At first sight of the bandits unload everything at them. I don't want anything left bigger than a toilet seat. And maybe aim this time, Mr. Jethro."

"Yes sir."

"Just kidding, I know the last time wasn't your fault. My joke, everyone. Laugh or you all get demerits."
A perfunctory chuckle arises.
"Stop being such sycophants. It's embarrassing."

No one appears to have noticed Hal yet.

>>234954
I like this guy already.

But. I think you oughta wait until he notices you. He seems kinda busy and maybe a little nuts.

um, uh, wow. looks like we need to be up front but not foreward. nice but not condescending. stern but not mean. you got anything?

>>234954
Slide up next to him and just stand there until he notices you.
If he gets angry with you over not speaking up, then snarl out "I figured you'd greet me when you were damn good and ready!"
This will cause him to stumble and put him in an off position, at which point you can press your advantage while he's weak.

Captain seems pretty cool. This shouldn't be too bad.

>>234954
Say hi to John.

Announce that you're here for your demerits. You were promised demerits.

Sounds like a pretty good guy to shoot the breeze with. But for now, it's business. Keep your guard up while remaining amicable. ...but then, you usually do that, don't you?

>>235020
Yes, we demand demerits.

>>235020
Okay, this might be pretty funny.

>>235186
Demerits please.

Hmm, they have a respawner set up here, right? Maybe we could get away with shooting him right in the face. That'll give him the BEST FIRST IMPRESSION EVER.

>>235296
I...I actually approve of this plan.

Assuming they don't immediately queue you up to go next, you can stand in front of the decanting tube and remind them that politeness costs nothing when trying to hire super secret secret agents.

>>235296
Ooohhh... I like this!
Shoot him, shove him out of the chair, sit down, and say "You're on your own until he gets back. How well you do without him tells me how much respect he deserves. You may begin."

>>235296
I don't know whether to heartily second this or run screaming from the thread.

I think we're an odds-on favorite to just get shot and brought back here with our limbs tied to heavy objects if we do that, though.

>>235296
...god dammit, you guys. If we shoot him, odds are he will have us shot. Because that's what you do to people who shoot you.

>>235308
The worst case is totally survivable! If anything, it means this plan just isn't dashing and ballsy enough to make the right impression.

Anything nearby look explosive?

Demand demerits first, then after seeing where it goes we can shoot him.

>>235296
>>235297
>>235317

If I recall correctly from the previous threads with our Qal friend John, a respawner can simply be deactivated so that a person in question can't come back. That aside, even with the ability to resurrect from death I doubt its such a light-hearted topic that shooting a military (?) Captain in the face will be passed off with a chuckle.

Say, "So, I heard you're the guy to talk to about being shot and respawned with cryptic warnings. There are better ways to bring up a work proposition."

Hal 2010/09/28(Tue)16:48 No. 235357 ID: 4f6e37
File 128571768361.png - (283.23KB , 800x600 , 22.png )

My [logic] tells me that trying to murder my boss on the first day is an astonishingly bad idea. I decide to go with his first and far more sane thoughts, stepping carefully into the main room. Anka follows me in.
"I was told this is the place to get demerits," I say. "I was promised demerits."
"Who said that?" says the Captain, turning around. "Pribicevic, did you say that?"
"No, sir."
"Was it that prisoner/newbie you're guarding?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well shoot him for being a smartass, then shoot yourself for contradicting me, then give both of yourselves demerits."
"I'll get on that, sir."
"No you won't. Demerit. What's your name, newbie?"
"Halaris."
"Halaris, sir, newbie, or I swear I will shoot you where you stand."
"I wouldn't want that, sir."
"I already did it once, you know."
"Yes sir."
"So. You're a shirm, eh? That's a shame, I'm racist. That's a demerit for you, shirm. Take note."
"Taking, sir."
"Still," he says, "perhaps you are not as pruny as you look. When Midshipman Belding got here I thought all pinkos were backwards cavemen with bones made of wafers, and I still have faith he'll prove me wrong some day."
"Thank you, sir," says Belding.
"Your job, Halaris, is to be my... what did they call it, Pribicevic?"
"Diplomatic Liaison, sir."
"That thing. Yes. Because apparently the council decided that some elements of the ATRF are a bit blunt in their negotiations, myself included. I have no idea what they are talking about or why you are necessary, but apparently my negotiations techniques are questionable"
"Permission to speak, sir," says Anka.
"Granted," says the Captain, automatically.
"Shooting the representative of the Church of the Nine Moons in the leg counts as interrogation, not negotiation, sir," says Anka. "That was the problem."
"The loopy moon gods the Reverend worshipped saw fit to grant him two, Pribicevic," says the Captain. "I see no issue. Que sera sera, I suppose. You will be the Face of my operations, and on most missions will go with an armed guard or two to handle the frivolous shit while I do the fun important exploding jobs. Oh, and apparently you're trained in seduction and subterfuge and such so maybe I'll use you as some sort of weird Space Squid Secret Agent while I'm at it. Do you have any questions about your new life, Diplomatic Liaison? Because I need to get back to blowing this pirate vessel open and then me and some other guys are going to go board it and kill everyone on it because that's my job because my parents weren't nice to me as a child."

Problems?

Absolutely none.

>>235357
"Yeah. Can I keep this gun?"

>>235357
I love this guy. He's kind of an ass and at the same time quite polite.

And... that sounds pretty straightforward, actually!

>>235357
>diplomatic liasion
>armed guards
Sounds tedious.

>>235362
Ok. Point it at the window.

>>235359
Seconding this so hard.

Otherwise, I guess we're along for the ride for now. If you're feeling adventurous, see if we can be part of the boarding party.

I freaking LOVE that guy!
Also,
>>235359
This.

>>235357
Yes, [gun to face] was killing me your crew's normal method of hiring or do you just hate job interviews?

>>235357
"Yes, I have a question. Are the respawners on right now?"
If he says yes, then [Cloak Draw] and [Beam Intensifier] to put a hole in his crystal face thing.
Then drop the gun, turn to leave, and say "Have him call me when he wants to continue 'negotiating' my contract."

>>235369
I seriously doubt this will lead to results that are beneficial to us. Just sayin'.

>>235372
What's he going to do? Kill us again? Least we can do is show some balls and a little outrage at him MURDERING US for something as petty as a job interview.

Guys, do not show off our gun. Or use it to shoot anyone. Or even reveal that we have it. Why not, you ask?
-Because we'd get all our guards in trouble when we're establishing ourselves to them as charming, and that's goodwill we might want later.
-Because we'll want to work against these people for drafting us at some point, and tipping them off that we're just that sneaky and willing to sneak things past them would be a bad move.
-Because it results in no gain for us other than personal satisfaction at showing off.
-Because he might take our gun away.

Conclusion: Play our cards closer to the chest, people! Surround ourselves in a cloak of witty quips and deceptions, and reveal truths (like our actual armament or disposition) only when we must.

no gun showing. seriously, that is just poor form.

>>235378
Yes. Having the gift of a silver tongue and the skill to deceive should remain knowledge to Hal and Hal alone. Trying to look like a badass just to prove a point isn't worth losing what little power Hal currently has over this situation. They may have read his file but that doesn't mean they can handle him. Lets keep it that way.

>>235378
I guess you have a point. :v

>>235378
He will give us a fucking gun for our job, this is our last chance to use the one we stole.

>>235378
>no net gain
ENTIRELY untrue! It establishes us as the super spy squid he thinks we are. The more competent he thinks we are, the more likely we are to get secret agent jobs instead of diplomacy jobs.

And who cares if he takes our gun away. We certainly aren't using it on anything. That'd be teamkilling at this point.

>>235388
I'm far more interested in secret-agenting against the captain and whoever the fuck he's working for than I am in doing so against his enemies. They haven't done anything to us, after all, while he has.

>>235357
If you're going to pull the gun, which I am voting against, first ask "Yeah, do I get a gun?"

Regardless of his answer, then you pull it out and say "Then I suppose I had better put this back in the armory, sir."

>>235392
It was better when you phrased it "Oh, so I suppose I ought to return this, then".

Stop saying "Sir", you spineless arthropod.

Hal 2010/09/28(Tue)17:56 No. 235399 ID: 4f6e37
File 12857217842.png - (101.91KB , 800x600 , 23.png )

I briefly debate with myself over whether or not to pull out my gun and go, "Can I keep this?". Stupid thing to do? Yes. Very.

"Can I keep this?" I go, pulling out my gun. In one smooth gesture his right arm whips down to his side and pulls out a heavy looking handgun, bringing it to bear on my face even as I readjust my aim to target him.

We stand stock still for about two and a half seconds, surrounded by an envelope of silence as everyone else in the room stops what they are doing and stares.

"I can tell already," says the Captain, slowly "that we are going to have one of the greatest bromances in the Alliance fleet."
"Do you recruit everyone by shooting them in the head or do you just hate job interviews?" I ask.
"Some people do crossword puzzles," says the Captain. "I shoot volunteers in the head."
"I like crossword puzzles," I say.
"That's because you're well spoken and things," says the Captain. "Can we put our guns down now so I can command everyone to shoot the pirates?"
"Can I keep the gun?"
"Yes," says the Captain. "And you can remove those demerits I gave you earlier because you just set an example of space huevos that would shame a space rhino." He lowers his gun. "Oh, but if you take a live weapon onto the bridge again without my express permission I will shoot you out of an airlock, then respawn you, then shoot you out of the airlock again. I like you, by the way. Dismissed, Squiddy."

>>235399
Right.

Now we can leave.

>>235396
>Stop saying "Sir", you spineless arthropod.
>spineless arthropod
I like you. You're witty.

>>235399
Lower the gun
"As you like it, captain."

Turn around and walk out. When your guard catches up to you tell her "This will certainly be an interesting job. I'll let you show me to my quarters so I don't accidentally have too much fun on my first day."

He is a dick. The greatest dick that ever dicked. You should probably go now.

>>235399
Do a salute and walk out. You have good enough balance to do a salute while armed right?

>>235405
Salute with your gun before putting it away. "I think we will be fast friends, captain." And then be dismissed.

You are going to love/hate this place :3

Salute, then beat feet.
Well... you know what I mean.

Ooh, this'll be fun.

"Happy blasting, captain."

Let's go find out where we get to live.

Hal 2010/09/28(Tue)20:19 No. 235476 ID: 4f6e37
File 128573034427.png - (142.36KB , 800x600 , 24.png )

"Happy blasting, Captain," I say, saluting while backing out the door.
Anka follows me, and as the door slides closed behind her, she says, "I guess I'll show you your room. Just to let you know, if the Captain hadn't found you so endearing and had blamed me for letting you smuggle in weapons I would have made your life my bitch."
"Anka. Lovely Anka. Your very presence in it would ensure my life would be filled with naught but cute little animals and sunshine and such."
She laughs. "You are one of the most dangerous things in the world, Hal. A douchebag who is very difficult to hate. Speaking of which, hark at 12 o'clock."
I look ahead and catch sight of Talia, alone now, still futzing with the scanner. She quickly notices me, and stops frozen, much like what you humans do to your Earth rabbits when you shine headlights on them.
"I, uh." she says. "The thing's still broken, so I was going to fix it."
"I know," I say. "I remember you from two minutes ago. Talia, no?"
"No?" says Talia. "YES. I mean, yes. I...had to fix this scanner."
"Oh, I should go," says Anka, situating herself right next to us like a titanium-plated cockblocking machine.

good thing your words are like armor piercing bullets.

>>235476
Do Shirm even have... No. Nevermind. We'll assume the norm.

Continue your seduction unablated!

>>235476
"Yep. You should. Be there in a moment."

Man if only you could pull off a shit-eating grin.

its not often you get to combine [engineering] prowess with [charm], so lets do this Hal.

"no worries Talia, I'm sure I could give you some help with that scanner, among my specialties are engineering and what seems to be your favorite, xenobiology. Although I do have to say, I've never seen ones eyes quite flush so brilliantly, ill have to take you under very close examination sometime. Maybe we can play tit for tat, you get to see whats under my cloak, and ill get to see whats under that suit. Now, whats the problem with the scanner?"

>>235476
Charm. Charm everywhere.
"Anka dear, didn't you mention I wouldn't have a cabin just yet? The room with the tube isn't exactly good for comfort, let alone company. I suppose I could bunk up with someone, perhaps some lonesome lady might have room enough?"

Tell Anka that you need to perform some sedition and will catch up with her just as soon as you're finished doctoring the security tapes.

>>235566
I... can't tell if your apparent typo was intentional or not. Well played.

>>235504
Moving in with her is a going a little fast, we only met her 2 minutes ago!

Hmmmmm. Yes, let's use [engineering] to help her out a bit with the scanner, while giving her a light treatment of [charm]. We got a great start, let's not overdo it.

Also test the scanner after it's fixed by walking through it.

Suggestion 2010/09/29(Wed)05:15 No. 235852 ID: e38c07
File 12857625414.jpg - (29.05KB , 300x300 , Rance.jpg )

>>235476
>You are one of the most dangerous things in the world, Hal. A douchebag who is very difficult to hate.

Fuck yes this quest.

Our next course of action is clear.

>>235478
The norm for jellyfish-things is... different.

Also
>unablated
Presumably you mean unabated. Getting ablated, while definitely a negative, is not something we need to worry too heavily about at this point.

>>235852
No we are not raping everything. We make them want it before we start, not during or after.

Hal 2010/09/29(Wed)18:13 No. 236075 ID: 4f6e37
File 128580918810.png - (73.26KB , 800x600 , 25.png )

((Due to his [charm]ing personality, Halaris has made two new Allies. These people can generally be counted as his entourage-within-the-entourage the Captain is dragging around, and they can be used as handlers, contacts, and teammates on any mission Hal's new trigger-happy boss sends him on.))

"Yeah, you should probably go," I say. "Be with you in a moment. I need to do some seductive sedition then doctor the cameras so my plans are not abated and I am not ablated. I understand such things happen when you get shot out of airlocks."
"I don't get you, Halaris," says Anka.
"Neither do I, half the time. Will you excuse us?"
"Nah," says Anka, grinning and staying put. "The Captain has me assigned to keep an eye on you until further notice, and you did just try to kill him or something." So be it, adversary. I have seduced through worse. It'll be good to have some people on my side on this deathtrap, and if said people are also delicious digitigrade Delter with dainty digits, all the better.
"Fine," I say. "But if you're going to take me back to that little tube in that broom closet I will protest, I promise."
"We actually haven't gotten the bigger tube out of storage yet," says Anka. "You're going to come help me set it up."
"In that tiny cabin? Thank you but no thank you," I say. "It's not exactly good for comfort, let alone company. I suppose I could bunk up with someone. We could share spooky ghost stories and make smores. Perhaps some lonesome lady might have room enough?"
"Sveti Ilija," mutters Anka, as Talia blushes violently.
"I have room," the Delter says quickly. "Uh, well there's an empty room right next to me, I mean, not my room, because my room is too fucking small, uh, but there's no one in it because Jared got transferred, and I can help set your bed thing up since I'm good with technology besides this fucking scanner thing which I'm probably going to end up blowing up as catharsis anyway, sooo..."
"You know what, maybe I will leave you two alone before my armor gets stained by freaky alien pheromones or something," says Anka. "You got five minutes' flirting time, then come find me and tell me where you want to bunk or I'm setting your weird alien bed thing next to the garbage compactors, Halaris." She stomps off down the hall, muttering, "Gonna have to follow you around with a rolled-up newspaper and a spray bottle, keep you from humping everyone's legs."
Talia and I are left alone sans third wheel, and she seems torn between wanting to say something and making a mad dash for the door.

>>236075
You are the best damn Shirm ever.

Suggestion 2010/09/29(Wed)18:29 No. 236088 ID: a9a46d
File 12858101597.jpg - (12.00KB , 201x201 , 1270420940617.jpg )

>>236084

tell her that you can feel the question hanging on the air, and if she wants anything then she just has to ask.

Let'er sweat it out for a bit.
Ask about the ship, and her job, chat'er up and get to know the place just a bit better.

>>236092
Yeah, it'd be nice to know more about what exactly we're getting into, here, and she's probably the best immediate source.

Plus you can keep charming her while asking the questions! :B

>>236075
Moar [engineering] on her problem! Lay off the charm, she can't take much more captain!

"The room besides yours sounds like the perfect place. Tell you what, come along and help me make my bed, I'm pretty good with machines myself so we'll make short work of it. And I'd love to help you fix this thing up when I have the time. Just keep from blowing it into too many pieces before we have the chance. Just knocking it around should be satisfying enough without breaking it, unless you really like to play rough."

>>236109
Oh god.

This is fantastic.

Hal 2010/09/29(Wed)20:45 No. 236174 ID: 4f6e37
File 128581834848.png - (220.69KB , 800x600 , 26.png )

I stay behind for four minutes and forty seven seconds, trying to get a bead on what exactly is wrong with the scanner through [engineering] and on who exactly this Talia is.
Her full name, she says, is a sound not dissimilar to a hive of hornets being fed through a woodchipper. But I can just call her Talia, everyone does. As she talks she relaxes quite a bit, starts laughing instead of stuttering at my humor. She's been a crewmate on the ship ever since the Captain took command, about three years now. Major in Statistics from the Eulis Institute of Technology. Decided being an actuary was boring her to tears and joined the Alliance Naval Academy on Agrieb, there discovering the joys of combat engineering and beating people into submission. Two years later a transfer to the front landed her snug in the ATRF. Her job is to fix things and kill people, which has given her an interesting perspective on matters existential. Apparently she performs both functions with a very high frequency. Life around here is anything but boring. Usually.
"So what about you?" she asks.
"I got shot in the head," I explain. "This thing is busted all to hell but I think I may have done something for it."
She presses something. "Now it's booted up and everything but it's frozen on a no-signal screen," she says. "Fuck it. I was pretty sure it was beyond repair anyway. These things are a dime a dozen."
"Would you like my professional opinion?"
"What?"
"It probably needs a reformatting or something. The hardware just needs a little more work. I can help you out later but for now I don't have much time. Now would you like my highly unprofessional opinion?"
"Hm?"
"That outfit makes you look irresistible."
"What-" she says, startled.
"I wish there was something I could do, though," I say, as if nothing had happened. "Even if it's a cheap piece of plastic. If you knew it was broken and easy to replace why did you stay behind so long to fix it? It wasn't to give you an excuse to wait for me, was it?"
Her eyes start glowing again. "Uh."
"Shame on you, Talia, you wily seductress," I say. "I honestly have no idea what to do with you. Well." I look her up and down. "I can think of a few." Her blush is fiery red.
"I have to go talk to Miss Pribicevic now before she grinds me into more of a jelly than I already am," I say, turning to go. "I think the room besides yours sounds like the perfect place. Tell you what, come along later and help me make my bed, I'm pretty good with machines myself so we'll make short work of it. And I'd love to help you fix this thing up when I have the time. Just keep from blowing it into too many pieces before we have the chance. Just knocking it around should be satisfying enough without breaking it, unless you really like to play rough. See you around, Miss Talia."

I head out before the speechless Talia can say anything. So I botched repairing the gate for her. So what. Now all I need to do is find Anka in thirteen seconds or I'll be sleeping next to the garbage wait she never told me where exactly she was going oh poo.

>>236174
Eh, you pulled it off with the speech, I think, even if you didn't get the thing fixed.

Where is Pribicevic? I guess you could just go to where your weird bed thing is.

>>236174
Now, now, there's no cause for concern. She explicitly mentioned five full minutes of flirting time, followed by finding her. Meaning that we are, if anything, far ahead of schedule.

yeah, where cramped tube is as good a place as any to check.

>>236174
"ANKA! I'm done and it hasn't been five minutes so no compactors please and I'm coming but where are you~!"

Use your [logic] to determine where she is most likely to be.

Seven01a19!!EyA2IwLwVl 2010/09/29(Wed)22:43 No. 236256 ID: 701a19
File 128582540751.jpg - (17.54KB , 307x339 , SpacePirate.jpg )

>>236174
Head for the tube, since that's where she said they want to shove you.
If that's wrong, then you can get an advantage from TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBES!

She said she was going to get our tube out of storage, so let's find someone and ask if they can point us in the right direction.

Hal 2010/09/30(Thu)18:34 No. 236590 ID: 4f6e37
File 128589684053.png - (86.19KB , 800x600 , 27.png )

"Oh Aaaanka," I call, retracing my steps back to the room I woke up in (the room I [logic]ally assume she'll be). "I'm done and it hasn't been five minutes so no compactors please and I'm coming but where are yoooouuu."

"Over here," comes a voice echoing from a side hallway. I turn to find Anka dragging a heavy wooden crate up the hall. "Six minutes five," she says. "I hope you like cubes of refuse."
"Sgt. Pribicevic, I cannot entertain gentlewoman callers next to garbage. Next to garbage is no place for a bachelor pad, swingin' or not."
"Learn to take a joke," she says. "Where is this going?"
"The room next to Miss Talia's, of course."
"Oh really," she says, arching an eyebrow. "Fine. Whatever." She alters course. "So what are you planning, Halaris?"
"Well, I was going to keep my head from getting too many more holes in it and slowly adjust to new life on board a bizarre black-ops frigate helmed by a sociopath, why?"
"I was talking about that delter you've trapped in your weird nymphomaniacal web. So you're just going to bang her real quick and move on, huh?"
"So quick to judge, Sergeant. I am profoundly hurt."
"I know a ladykiller when I see one, tentacleface," she says. "We humans had this movie series back on Earth with this gunslinger-slash-gigolo called Bond in it. He reminds me a little too much of you."
"Sounds like a suave motherfucker."
"He was, but that's not the point. I think I approve of you in general terms, Halaris, but I don't think I will ever trust you around anything female, and that includes household pets. Are you going to hit it and quit it or are you less of a sleazeball than you look?" It appears she has stopped lugging. I liked it when she lugged for me.

you may not be a marriage kind of guy but you don't just drop a lady when you are done like a used tissue. you will still be there and be a good friend.

You're a [CHARM]ing guy not a sleazeball. [SUAVE] operatives like you look to become close with those around them over time, not "hit it and quit it."

>>236590
SRS FACE time. We have no intention of hurting her. If she wants to get to know us better before doing anything, fine. It's all fun and games right now, because there is no real relationship. If she wants more than a fling, we'll give it a shot.

>>236590
Now that wouldn't be polite would it? No, you stay and play. But you will still flirt with anything around you regardless because its fun watching the women blush.

You're very appreciative of women, that's all.

>>236590
"That's not why I flirt. First off, I enjoy doing it. I'm making the lady feel special, and it seems like she needs it. Banging her and being done with it doesn't serve that purpose. If a lady wants likes to flirt and have some fun, well that's no crime... unless that would hurt someone else of course. With someone who likes to play the same game but not give any leeway it is a delightful dance. In your case... well at least you're entertained. I'm a nice guy, really.

And uh... I'm not all THAT xenophilic, to be honest. I'd do anything for that Delter lass, but it'd be harder to get physical with you more squishy types. But you are all equal as ladies in my eyes."

Charm, Bullshit, whatever you need to use here.

>>236590
Dearest Anka, if you really think I am so foolish as to abandon a lovely and exceedingly dangerous lady to her discontent, particularly when we will doubtless be in close proximity for some time, then I am rather hurt by your lack of regard.

>>236633
Seriously!

>>236602 and >>236633

>>236624
>>236633

I wish to support both of these.

>>236624
>>236633

>>236624
>>236633
>>236602
Because why choose just two?!

Hal 2010/10/01(Fri)14:29 No. 236957 ID: 4f6e37
File 128596857062.png - (166.74KB , 800x600 , 28.png )

"Dearest Anka, if you think I'd ever think of hurting such a lovely and exceedingly dangerous woman as Talia I am both hurt and confused," I say, putting on a serious face and applying some [diplomacy] to the situation. "I am hurtfused. The, ahem, finish line is not the only reason for the race. It's the joy of the run. I'm making the lady feel special, and it seems like she needs it. Banging her and being done with it doesn't serve that purpose. If I want to treat something like a disposable tissue, well, that's what tissues are for. Unless there's some sort of infidelity involved or something, I see no crime being committed. With someone who likes to play the same game but not give any leeway it is a delightful dance. In your case... well at least you're entertained. I'm a nice guy, I promise."
"You're a nice horndog," she says.
"Is it my fault women are all so damn beautiful?" I ask. "I'm not all that xenophilic, promise. I'd do anything for (or with or to, depending on the situation) that Delter lass, but it'd be harder to get physical with you more squishy types. But you are all equal as ladies in my eye/eyespots."
"Whatever," she says, getting a move on again after a moment's consideration. "Help me out with this thing."
"I did not get all my veggies when I was young like you did. And I have three appendages."
"You can spare one. Come on."

Anka guides us to my new room, and we run into Talia and a human I don't know talking in the hallway. She sees me coming and promptly looks happy to see me while trying to make herself as small as possible.
"Hey, Anka," says the human. "Hey, guy I don't know yet."
"This is Paul Killian," says Anka. "He's the bosun-cum-sniper."
"Howdy," says Killian, chewing on what appears to be a toothpick wedged into his mouth. "What's your name?"
"Halaris. Pleased to meet you."
"Welcome to the Unflagging, Halaris. I'd give you a tour or whatever, but Talia's volunteered to do it for me so I can go board the pirate ship and pop some heads."
"I think I might join you," says Anka. "The Captain gave me shit last time because I was de-shitting up Shield Bank 2 instead of shooting mans. I' probably just be distracing people here." She nudges Halaris under the box."
"Right," says Killian. "So we'll just let her take over here and go ahead and scoot down to outfitting unless you have some questions about our fine vessel, New Squidfriend."

>>236950
"Ah yes, I do have one question. Are all the ladies as beautiful as these two, or is this just a fluke?"

>>236957
The general history of the vessel, perhaps? How does he like working with the Captain?

>>236957
Remember, [charm] isn't just for the ladies. Though they are admittedly more fun. Make sure that this man leaves this conversation certain that you are a total bro.

"Yes. The bathrooms. It would be ever so unfortunate if I lacked that bit of information at a critical moment."

>>236958
Also if you say this, prepare for her to drop the box on you.

Ask when you get to raid the armory, you deserve some badass armor and a bigger gun. Also, wish em luck in pirate bashing.

Hal 2010/10/01(Fri)21:23 No. 237054 ID: 4f6e37
File 128599342422.png - (130.92KB , 800x600 , 29.png )

"Here's one. Is the entire female population of the crew drop dead sexy or is this just a lucky fluke?" I ask, deftly avoiding the kick Anka aims at me. Killian raises his orange eyebrows. "Just kidding, folks, I promise. Pribicevic will attest that I'd probably hit on a radiator, given half the chance."
That gets a half-smile. "Heh. Well, welcome again. You met the Captain yet?"
"I pulled a gun on him."
"No kidding? Me too. He shot me in the head."
"Me too. Did he complement your gutsiness?"
"No, I just told you. He shot me in the head."
"Oh."
"Yeah," he says. "the Captain and me don't exactly see eye-to-eye. You noticed he's a psycho a-hole em-effer yet?"
"Oh, here we go," says Anka.
"Don't you have to go kill some pirates?" an antsy Talia asks.
"Yeah, I do," says Killian. "Don't get me wrong, I'd follow the guy into combat, but he's a complete invalid at everything else. You seem like an okay enough guy...squid...thing, though, Halaris, but I'd stay the heck away if I were you. I'll see about getting you some new gear and stuff after the battle, yah?"
"Call me Hal," I say.
"Whatever, Hal," says Killian, walking past us. "See you." Anka follows him out.

Talia and I are alone again. "So I'm just going to, uh, go and change out of my combat armor now," she says, "since I'm not in combat or anything right now. And then I can give you the whole initiation welcome spiel that Paul always tells the newbies. You don't need any help setting up your bed, do you?"

>>237054
Do you?

I mean, if you do, then she can (correctly) feel like she's doing something for you, which she seems to want to do, y'know?

rolled 13 + 3 = 16

---

>>237054
Rolling to resist making use of that straight line.
If not, "Depends. Did you WANT to help me set it up?" then do the equivalent of waggling eyebrows suggestively.

>>237054
Oh god, I want so badly to say that we'll ready our bed while she slips into something more comfortable. Must... resist...

>>237054
You're gonna at least need some help putting it in place. The technical fiddly bits you should be fine with but heavy lifting is not your bag, baby. She can go and get comfortable after that while you set up. Go easy on the Charm for now, lest she only change into another suit of armor to fend you off.

>>237061
>Go easy on the Charm for now
Impossible. Our charm must always be fully armed and operational. We might shift focus from exaggerated flirting to a more casually amicable style, but charm everyone and everything at all times. That is our "make friends" ability, after all.

"You should be very careful asking questions like that around me, I can hardly resist already..."

>>237069
I completely and fully agree with this.

Charm is not something you turn on or off for this individual.

It is what he IS.

Lay off it a little. Do mention that she just gave you a line that is an incredibly tempting target though.

Also yes say you will need help from her.

Hal 2010/10/01(Fri)22:46 No. 237080 ID: 4f6e37
File 128599840138.png - (196.54KB , 800x600 , 30.png )

"Careful," I say. "Please don't feed the lecherous libertine lushly loaded questions like that."
"Do you need help, or don't you?" she says.
"Surefine," I say.

We set the bed up, then she heads off to change into something less metallic while I survey the room. It's a bit bare for now, but I guess I can get some stuff for it later, somehow. I wonder if they sell disco balls on this ship. Bringing the groove back, Halaris? Someone has to, these days.
I amble around, waste some time, practice my sexy walk, which isn't easy to do for a tripod, check the closet, leaf through the Unflagging's primer, and some other book someone left that I can't really make much sense of at the moment (I'll have to come back to this Song of Solomon, though), because at that moment Someone, I would presume Talia, knocks on the door.

>>237080
Answer it with your most [charm]ing Helllloooooo? But have a hand on your pistol and be ready to Cloak Draw if it's a hostile (which I doubt)

>>237080
Well, let's see who's at the door. Don't make the greeting person-specific, on the off chance that this is Pribicevic or somebody and not Talia.

>>237086
Oh, and if you're having trouble making sense of that book, try the second half first; you might find it a little more accessible. Just a thought.

>>237084 and >>237086

Hal 2010/10/02(Sat)20:01 No. 237565 ID: 4f6e37
File 128607490244.png - (59.70KB , 800x600 , 31.png )

"Come iiiin," I call. "The door, she is open."

Enter Talia, in human-style shorts, t-shirt, scarf (that's a Delter thing), and flip-flops. Some Delter are fine with walking around naked, but to my disappointment she does not appear to be one of them.
"Uh, hi again," she says.
"What is up?"
"So we have rules around here about stuff," she says. "And since you're new here normally Paul would tell you but that's what I'm supposed to do."
"Fascinating," I say, ogling her claws out of the corner of my eye.
"You were sort of breaking a lot of them," she says. "Like when you pulled a gun on the captain. Why did you do that, anyway? That could have gotten me in a lot of trouble." She's getting indignant. "I could have gotten shitcanned, you know that? Just because I let some damn squid pervert smooth-talk his way past me like a stupid bimbo in a human action movie. The Captain may like you, but not all of us are so lucky, okay? So I figured I'd confront you about it. Which is what I'm doing. So don't do that again. Uh."

hehehe, she want's to be mad at you but can't do it right cause she can't stop thinking about what you said. assure her that you will try to redirect any and all blame the captain would give her on to yourself.

>>237565
>Why did you do that, anyway?
Because if you couldn't get concealed weapons where you're not supposed to, you wouldn't be on the team.

And you're damn cranky when you get out the wrong side of the regeneration tube after being shot in the head.

>>237565
Well, We only did it becasue he shot us first. Well that and he obviously expects more from us than mere 'diplomacy' otherwise he would had shot and rezzed a 'real diplomat' as opposed to a retired spy.

>>237568
Yep.

>>237567
Also yep.

And I guess you could throw in one of those cheesy lines about being cute when mad, if you felt like it. Dunno if it'll sound right though.

Apologize [CHARM]ingly, you wouldn't have wanted to get her pretty little head in trouble... well trouble with the captain that is.

Hal 2010/10/02(Sat)21:02 No. 237587 ID: 4f6e37
File 12860785243.png - (98.07KB , 800x600 , 32.png )

"I used to be a spy, it's sort of what we do," I say, [diplomatically]. "I'm pretty sure that's why he recruited me instead of a real diplomat. Oh, and the way he recruited me was by shooting me in the head, so you can understand I was a bit cranky at the time."

She shakes her head. "That doesn't mean you had to get me involved, Halaris."
"Look, I'll take the blame if the Captain gives you any shit," I say, [charmingly]. "I wouldn't want to get that pretty head of yours in trouble."
"No, I mean," she says, stumbling a little. "Just... was that all it was? The schmoozing I mean, you used me. Was it just flirting with me to get me to let you by without a patdown? Or do you expect me to toss you a quick fuck for your efforts, too?"

oh no, we would never be quick about it. :3c

>>237587
Let's try a no and also a no. Both options are wrong! I mean, realistically, you probably want to get to know Talia better because you're going to be working with her, y'know, for the forseeable future.

(Not that she's totally off-base, but.)

... Y'know, didn't Pribicevic ask us this same question not all that long ago? You didn't lie to her, I don't think, so I can't imagine you'd lie to Talia either.

Or something like that. I ain't great at feedin' you lines, here.

>>237593
Also, hey, y'know, you could apologize for the whole "potentially getting her in trouble with the captain who doesn't seem like the most stable guy" thing. Might help.

>>237587
"Oh, no, I meant every word I said ... aaaand I'd have gotten the gun past you either way. Remember, I'm retired from a field where scant few get to use the retirement plan."

[charm]ingly tell her "Well, it certainly was fun to get you all flustered, and it certainly was to my benefit at the time. However, make no mistake, I'm pleased to see you out of that suit of armor, and your certainly now free to pat me down anytime you want. Thats a lovely set of claws you have going... [diplomacy] but I digress, I honestly couldn't have a more lovely hostess to show me around, and I sincerely apologize if I made you feel so conflicted."

>>237587
[diplomatically] explain that getting the gun through was something you wanted to do, to show off to the captain that you could do it, and to make sure you wouldn't be taken advantage of. We manipulated her feelings by flirting a lot. More than normal.

[charmingly] say that you would make it up to her in ANY way she wanted. ...perhaps a date some time?

>>237587
No, none of that. Sure you were planning to bs your way through somehow, but whenever and wherever you ended up meeting her wouldn't have changed how you acted towards her. And the way you acted was to make a lady feel special, who maybe wasn't used to it and maaaaybe just might really need it. You are now her coworker, ally, neighbor and even friend, if she wants to be. A quick fuck doesn't enter into any of that.

>>237587
"Oh, no, I meant every word I said ... aaaand I'd have gotten the gun past you either way. Remember, I'm retired from a field where scant few get to use the retirement plan."

>>237587
Okay, Halaris. Your objective here is to tell her the complete truth, and yet have her do whatever you want in spite of being told straight-up that you're relentlessly charming and ruthlessly manipulative, and will continue to exploit those properties to get whatever you want done. And also that you want to sleep with her.

Go go shirm suaveness!

Hal 2010/10/02(Sat)22:42 No. 237620 ID: 4f6e37
File 128608456151.png - (105.13KB , 800x600 , 33.png )

"Getting the gun through was something I felt I had to do," I say, trying [charm] and diplomacy] in equal measure. "I needed to show the Captain day one what I could do and that I wasn't someone he could just push around. I've been in espionage for years, Talia. I actually managed to retire from it, which isn't exactly how most folks exit the field. I could have gotten that gun through, one way or another. I could have talked you out of it, or bullshitted my way to making you think I had some rare disease with symptoms including a gun-shaped tumor and a tendency to set off metal alarms. I'm that good, and I am just enough of an egomaniac enough to know it. But I ended up flirting with you, because my job description had to manipulate you in some way and you are one of the most beautiful women I have laid my four (by my last count) eyes on and it seemed like no one had told you that in a criminally long time. You are very cute when you're flustered, you know that? There is nothing that I have said to you that is not one hundred percent true. I am deeply sorry if you were ever convinced otherwise, and if there's something I can do to make up for it I need you to tell me. If you want to pat me down right now to make up for it I would be more than cooperative."

There's a silence for a couple seconds, then she says, in an unnatural voice, "Here are the other rules Paul always says. One, if you're going out or you want private time, you can just modify the terminal outside with a voice command to show your status and that's what you're supposed to do. Two, there's a bathroom at the end of this hall. Three, even though we have janitors you are supposed to make an effort to make minimal mess. There's a sort of thing the Navy has about janitors, they're like a good luck charm. Maybe I'll tell you the story later. Four, breakfast starts at 5 and ends at 8, you wake up any later and you miss it. Is that all clear to you, Halaris?"

haha, i think if you make her glow any harder she is going to pop.

>>237620
I think you might've overheated her brain, there. Getting a distinct "error processing data" vibe from her.

So, Iunno, I guess ask her what she's going to do now? I mean, you don't really have a specific assignment just yet, after all.